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Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Paranormal%20Romance%20Quest
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Paranormal%20Romance%20Quest/order/asc/

Okay, so you just used your dad's AR-15 to blow out the internal organs of "Adrianna," who's this 5'9" killing machine who tried to murder you earlier and broke into your house. Problems with this were that 1: your mom had called the cops, 2: she was unarmed, 3: this isn't a castle doctrine state, and 4: she's a vampire and will inevitably reform to murder you.

The solution you settled on - let her regenerate and get Lucian to force her out of the house - was probably not the best choice possible, but you were pressed for time and that was the one you made so now you have to live with it.

Oh, yeah, Lucian's this hot guy who seems really interested in you, doesn't know how to take "no" for an answer, has come to your house when you didn't even give him your address, and is a vampire.

...that sounds much worse than it is when you say it like that.

Anyway. Lucian's supposed to be cleaning up upstairs, getting rid of Adrianna and her blood and stuff.

>Lie to the cops, be completely deadpan, just say your story.
>Go set up your story with Lucian.
>Pretend to be completely panicky and out of it when the cops come.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36268235
>Go set up your story with Lucian.
>Pretend to be completely panicky and out of it when the cops come.
>>
>>36268235
>>Go set up your story with Lucian.
>>Pretend to be completely panicky and out of it when the cops come.
It's time to let go of the gun and actually panick
>>
You take the AR-15 with you as you head back upstairs to check on Lucian, who's currently standing over Adrianna's body. She's still twitching sporadically, and the blood and gore seem to be... doing the opposite of pooling, really, being slowly sucked back into her body. It's pretty gross, honestly.

"Lucian," you say, "the story we're going to tell the cops is that there was an intruder, I shot at her, she ran off. Okay? Easy to remember because it's basically true, minus the bit where she got holes filling her stomach. Because... she is going to pull herself together in time, isn't she?"

"She should," Lucian replies.

"Gkkk," Adrianna starts, her finger pointing at you. You aim the gun at her. "Klhg," she finishes, her hand flopping back down uselessly.

"Right. Get rid of her before the cops come."

"I was planning on it," Lucian says, and you head back downstairs, putting down the AR-15 and lying back on the couch, a torrent of emotions running through you as you do.

The cops come, and it passes in a blur, you lying, acting scared (which isn't difficult), and telling them most of what happened, right down to giving a description of Adrianna (who has, indeed, escaped before the police's arrival). They leave you alone after only a little bit, seeing how freaked you are (you don't have to act to manage that) which is good because you're not sure you could lie that well.

When the police leave, it's just you, Lucian, and your mom in the house.

>Ask Lucian to stay... you don't feel safe sleeping alone.
>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight (not like that you perv), since the guns are all in her room.
>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36268604
>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight , since the guns are all in her room.
Excluded for a reason
>>
>>36268604
>>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight (not like that you perv), since the guns are all in her room.
"Guns".
>>
>>36268604
>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight, since the guns are all in her room.
Mom a best
>>
>>36268604
>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight, since the guns are all in her room.
>>
>>36268604
>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.
We can figure out the sleeping arrangements later
>>
>>36268604
>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.
>>
>>36268604
>Ask your mom if you can sleep with her tonight (not like that you perv), since the guns are all in her room.
>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.
Why not both.jpeg
>>
>>36268604
>>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.

Knowledge is power.
>>
>>36268604
>>Ask Lucian to stay, you want to ask him more about vampires.
>>
>>36268639
>>36268604
Second
>>
[sighs externally]
>>36268639
>>36268658
>>36268669

Ask Lucian to stay:
>>36268706
>>36268729
>>36268739
>>36268762
>>36268785

This is what [sighs externally] will actually be:
>>36268653
>>36268739

...hmmm. Nine votes, nine IPs, and I didn't vote. You know who you are. I know who you are. Knock it off.
>>
>>36268639
>>36268604
This
>>
>>36268791
Missed you but it doesn't matter.
>>
>>36268799
Huh. I'm seeing eleven on my counter boss.
>>
>>36268799
You missed that one due to timing.

Not sure if that means Lucian is staying or not since the whole splitting of votes thing
>>
>>36268825
Same here
>>
>>36268825
It was nine when I posted that (10 with >>36268791 and 11 with >>36268804). Definitely one person samefagged.
>>
>>36268799
>>36268821
Wait a second.

[sighs externally]
>>36268639 #
>>36268658 #
>>36268669 #
>3+
This is what [sighs externally] will actually be:
>2+

Then >>36268791
That equals 6, which is more than luciean votes
>>
>>36268845
I guess you're right
>>
>>36268862
Oh my god, you can vote to sleep with your mom when I finish writing the interrogating Lucian scene.
>>
>>36268845
It's funny that, since when all the votes for Lucien came in, the counter didn't increase as much.
>>
>>36268862
Does that mean we ask him to say so we can ask him stuff, but still sleep in mom's beedroom?
>>
>>36268895
Yep
>>
"Um... Lucian, would you stay? I-I wanted to talk t-to you." Now that you don't have a gun in your hands, your normal utter lack of confidence has returned. Lucian nods, and the two of you go upstairs, to your room. (Your mom makes you leave the door open.) "So, you're a vampire?" You whisper. "How does that work?"

"I got turned into a vampire, now I need to drink blood and can't go out in the sun," he explains with a shrug. "What's there to explain?"

"How do you kill a vampire?" You ask, pointedly.

"You don't. The soul is permanently bound to the body, closed off from any possibility of an afterlife. It doesn't matter what you do, sooner or later the body pulls itself back together, and even the longest lasting methods of dispersal only last a decade or two."

"But you have to drink blood? And can't go in the sun? How can you have weaknesses if you're unkillable?"

"Without feeding, vampires gradually lose themselves to the thirst until they feed again, and the instinct to avoid the sun is very powerful," he explains. "Being hurled into the sun makes us begin to burn and 'die,' but ultimately the damage done only lasts a few hours after dusk."

>I have more questions. [Write-in]
>Would you stay the night? I don't feel safe, with Adrianna out there.
>Thanks. You can leave now. I'll go sleep with my mom.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36269039
>I have more questions. Would cutting her into bits and shoving the bits into locked boxes work?
>Would you stay the night? I don't feel safe, with Adrianna out there.
>>
>>36269039
>I have more questions.
How old are you? Do you age at all?
>Would you stay the night? I don't feel safe, with Adrianna out there.
>>
>>36269039
>>I have more questions. [Write-in]
Sooo....you gonna suck my blood? And why did Adriana say all that stuff about getting me high on "the blood?"
>>
Seeing the different numbers of votes makes me think there's me and two massive samefags in this thread.
>>
>>36269303
That's every thread.
>>
>>36269303
Well, I don't know what to ask and considering the voting system I really don't want some of the questions not to be answered
>>
"Would cutting her into pieces and shoving the pieces into locked boxes work?" Wow, that was really morbid.

He moves his head back and forth, wags his hand in a, "so-so" way. "Better than just shooting her, worse than scattering her ashes. They'd reform anyway, break the boxes from the pressure or something to that effect."

"Okay. So how old are you, really? I'm guessing not 17."

"I've been a vampire for 103 years, I was your age when I was turned. Vampires don't psychologically age like humans do, though, so I'm still more comfortable with teenagers than with centenarians."

"Um... are you going to suck my blood or something?"

"Do you want me to?" His grin is rapacious, like a teenage boy with certain other things on his mind.

"N-no!" You reply, suddenly flustered, your cheeks burning red, looking down at your feet.

He steps forward, a hand caressing your face a moment later. "Relax, Susan," he says, voice smooth. "I'm not going to do anything to you you don't want me to do. I already said that, didn't I?" You just nod, quietly, still staring at the ground. "It does feel very, very good though," he whispers.

"What's going on up there?" Your mom's voice carries up to your room.

"Nothing!" The two of you reply as one.

"U-um, what was that stuff Adrianna said about, um, g-getting me high on the blood?"

"Vampires are... venomous, so to speak," he explains. "Biting releases a mixture of an anesthetic and a dissociative drug. When a vampire gives their blood to a human, it's like an even more powerful version of the same effect. Using it much is... inadvisable. It's addictive, to the point of sapping away the victim's will until all they want to do is obey the vampire's orders."

>More questions. [Write-in]
>You can suck my blood if you want...
>C-can I try your blood?
>Stay the night?
>Thanks, bye, I'll sleep with my mom.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36269482
>Stay the night?
"Just in case she comes back."
>>
>>36269482
>Stay the night?
>>
>>36269482
>Thanks, bye, I'll sleep with my mom.
>>
>>36269482
>>Stay the night?

Dude, our mom is such a bro. Doing her very damn best not to clam-dam.
>>
>>36269482
>Thanks, bye, I'll sleep with my mom.
>>
>>36269482
>Thanks, bye, I'll sleep with my mom.
>>
Stay the night
>>36269509
>>36269513
>>36269627

Nah:
>>36269536
>>36269720
>>
>>36269482
>More questions. [Write-in]
"Adrianna said something very interesting, I don't remember the exact words, but she said I'm not the first."

>>36269742
FUCK.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>36269735
Oh god damn you to hell.

1 - Stay the night
2 - I'd make a joke about incest route but you'd probably take it seriously.

>>36269751
I'll see about including that question.
>>
>>36269760
Oh come on it was locked in OP
>>
>>36269760
Why not let him sleep in our room while we bed with mom?
>>
>>36269788
That's not an argument.

>>36269795
>Letting him sleep in our room
OH GODS NO
>>
arf too late
i'd vote for letting him stay (or giving him our room) if that matters
>>
>>36269627
She literally yelled upstairs to get us to knock it off and made us leave the door open. Not that bro-tier.
>>
>>36269825
>>36269795
>Giving a Vampire our room
>Giving a vampire a room filled with our scent
>Giving A FUCKING VAMPIRE
>OUR SCENT
>>
>>36269847
i think it's too late to stop him from tracking us when he already followed us back home
plus if that bitch comes back to our window she'll have a fun surprise
>>
>>36269806
>>36269847
I don't see the problem here
>>
>>36269900
Remember the part where they want to suck blood, and all of that sort of thing?
And remember the part where the scent attracts them to that sort of thing?
>>
>>36269919
He should already be pretty damn familiar with our scent. If he wants to suck our blood there's not much we can do to stop him.
>>
>>36269940
>He should already be pretty damn familiar with our scent.
Yes, you're right.
NOW YOU PUT HIM IN A ROOM FILLED IN IT, WITH EVERYTHING ABOUT US IN IT.
Bloodlust goes up to 11.
>>
"U-um, Adrianna... she said something that implied that... you know... I'm not the first. I don't remember exactly, b-but..."

"I'm a hundred and twenty, chronologically," Lucian replies, his hand on your shoulder. "I've been... interested in more than one girl in that time. Once upon a time, I even thought Adrianna'd be a good lover. Of course, that impression has long since been corrected."

You give a polite little laugh.

"Th-thanks," you say. "U-um, I'm going to ask my mom if I can sleep in her room... y-you can let yourself out, right?"

Lucian gives this look of disappointment and mock outrage, but nods and sighs, heading out as your mom tells him to keep safe.

"Mom, can I sleep with you, tonight? J-just in case that lady comes back..."

"Sure, sweetie," your mom says, and the two of you flop down on the bed. Your mom snores very loudly and it takes you a while to get to sleep, but you do so.

When you get up in the morning and go upstairs to get a change of clothes, you notice the locks on your window are undone. You redo them. Probably Adrianna's work.

Probably.

Things aren't super pleasant at school again... everybody's making fun of you still.

>Tell them that you're totally going out with Lucian, so there!
>Tell them that Lucian was a psycho who followed you home even though you never gave him your address, so it was a good idea after all!
>Tell them that they're all a bunch of idiot teenagers with no perspective!
>Write-in!
>>
>>36269967
Don't give them the time of day.
>>
>>36269967
>Tell them that they're all a bunch of idiot teenagers with no perspective!
>>
>>36269967
>Write-in!
Ignore them. Even if we were going out with Lucian they'd only bully us more.
>>
>>36269989
This instead.deleting my old vote
>>
>>36270011
>>36269989
This
>>
>>36269967
>Write-in!
ignore them
>>
>>36270006
>>36269989
i change my vote
>>
Treat them like the mainstream media treats the dysgenic effects of the welfare state!
>>36269989
>>36270011
>>36270013
>>36270023
>>36270026
>>36270064

Tell them the truth!
>>36269990
>>
>>36270207
These tally posts alone makes your quests worth following.
>>
Whatever! It doesn't matter! They don't matter. You just bury your face in Twisted And Black Inside, and pretend their mockery doesn't exist! So what if Lucian tried to neck you and you freaked out about it? He's a vampire, that's a perfectly reasonable reaction!

You soldier through school somehow, and immediately make your way off the school grounds, your cheeks burning when a group of girls tells another joke at your expense as you go.

>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!
>People don't matter! You'll go home and read TABI!
>Send an email to Lucian asking him to come over immediately after dusk, you don't want to be alone in the house at night.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36270334
>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!
>>
>>36270334
>Write-in..
Send Lucian and Email about how to deal with Adrianna permanently.

Being fun of is the LEAST of our concerns.
>>
>>36270334
>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!
make sure your phone is in quiet mode
>>
>>36270334
>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!
>>
>>36270359
>>36270334
This. Jesus christ.
>>
>>36270359
Second
>>
>>36270334
>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!
>>
>>36270334
>You have Lucian's email, you can get in contact with him now! He won't make fun of you!

He better take responsibility since he's the reason we had to kill someone twice.
>>
>>36270359
>>36270334
Second
>>
>>36270359
>>36270408
this
>>
>>36270359
>>36270334
This
+
>Send an email to Lucian asking him to come over immediately after dusk, you don't want to be alone in the house at night.
>>
>>36270427
>>36270385
>>36270398
>>36270359
i don't think we should be all about business with him, we should probably chat casually with him first (if he answers) and ask stuff as the conversation goes
not a vote, just discussion)
>>
>>36270481
I think we should ONLY be business with him. We can casually chat after our life isn't in mortal danger
>>
>>36270481
Eh, I'm in agreement with >>36270451
Safety > Casual chatting
>>
"Yo, Lucian, you're going to have to whack your ex for me if you wanna have a chance at tapping this ass."
>>36270359
>>36270385
>>36270398
>>36270408
>>36270427
>>36270435
>>36270451

Let's chat first. What psycho murderess?
>>36270353
>>36270371
>>36270375
>>36270406
>>
You take out your smartphone (isn't the future grand?) and shoot Lucian an email.

"need 2 talk about your ex. she's a problem. Sent from my XI-83 Smartphone."

It takes only a couple minutes (which you spend regularly checking your email every few seconds), and you get a reply back. "Call me," is the only text, besides a phone number, which you quickly dial.

"Lucian?"

"It's me. Susan? What's the problem with Adrianna now?"

"Sh-she keeps trying to kill me. I've had to kill her twice... I don't want to have to kill her a f-fourth time. How do we get rid of her?"

"The classic method is imprisonment; coffins, burials, that sort of thing. It doesn't really work, though, because sooner or later they break out of confinement. We've got forever. Burning her body and scattering her ashes... it'd be a decade or two before she pulled herself together, at the most."

"Could we... combine them? Burn her, then stick her ashes in a bunch of separate prisons?"

"That... probably wouldn't work as well, honestly. There'd be more ash in any given spot, that would make regeneration faster."

"Burn her, then dump the ashes in... Yucatan or on some abandoned island, then? Or just... I-I don't know, toss them in a refrigerator in a junkyard and close the door?"

"I don't know... maybe," he says with a sigh. "Look, are you sure you want to do this? There are... other ways to protect yourself from her, you know. You'll be just as unsolvable a problem if you become a vampire as well."

>You don't want to become a vampire...
>Being immortal and getting to bang a sexy dude for all eternity? Hell yeah! Sign you up.
>No, seriously, you could get rid of Adrianna for the rest of your lifetime by... [Write-in]
>Write-in.
>>
>>36270887
>You don't want to become a vampire...
>>
>>36270887
Can we perhaps talk her out of bothering me?
>>
>>36270887
>No, seriously, you could get rid of Adrianna for the rest of your lifetime by... [Write-in]

Walter White style Acid bath? Anyone wanna get molecular on this bitch?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d3)

1 - >>36270936
2 - >>36270941
3 - >>36270954
>>
>>36270887
>No, seriously, you could get rid of Adrianna for the rest of your lifetime by... [Write-in]
Magma stream.
Frozen in space.
Put in a situation where physically they'll be unable to move. (Enough straight jackets/Placed at the bottom of the ocean/Squashed into a box in scrap metal/Covered and filled with liquid concrete)
Assuming his...biology doesn't allow for excrement then he could eat her brain as well.
>>
>>36271173
>>36270887
This
>>
>>36270887
>No, seriously, you could get rid of Adrianna for the rest of your lifetime by... [Write-in]
wooden spike in the heart? blessed silver chains? sticking her in a glass coffin in the middle of the Saharan desert?
>>
>>36270887
>>You don't want to become a vampire...
yet I would rather get in good shape
I better start working out
>>
>>36270954
>>36271173
>>36271203
>Acid bath
>Magma stream
>Frozen in space
>Glass coffin in Sahara
How is any of this feasable for a teenage girl to acomplish?
>>
Love it, she's killing ex's of someone who's interested in her. She can barley talk to him but she has the desire to kill. I wonder who will be next.
>>
>>36271173
you know you can have your ashes turned into a diamond. that would be such a romantic gift a made of your crazy ex
>>
>>36271278
Most of them would be roughly as effective as cremating her and dumping the ashes in a drain, too.
>>
>>36271283
/tg/ is good at murderhoboing and shit at roleplaying, who'd'a' thunk.
>>
>>36271309

>You don't want to become a vampire...

fuck yea science
>>
>>36271330
>Most of them would be roughly as effective as cremating her and dumping the ashes in a drain, too.
Actually, if we managed to get her into a consistent orbit or out of orbit then it's very unlikely she'd ever be coming back.

If we managed to get her into the magma stream, then it's also very unlikely considering the only way she's coming back up is a very lucky occasion with a volcano.

>>36271278
>How is any of this feasable for a teenage girl to acomplish?
That's HIS job, not ours.
>>
>>36271481
>Actually, if we managed to get her into a consistent orbit or out of orbit then it's very unlikely she'd ever be coming back.
That's why I said "most."
>>
"U-um, could we talk her out of it, maybe?" It sounds lame, even to you, but talking is a solution you have to consider as well...

Lucian just laughs, which makes you feel tiny. "I don't think that's likely to work. Adrianna's obsessed with me, and by extension she's obsessed with you. Sorry to drag you into this. I thought I'd finally gotten rid of her a while back."

"C-could you... pr-pretend not to be interested in me anymore? W-would that work?"

"No," he replies, instantly. "She's done this before. Now that she's... picked you out, she's not going to stop harassing you and scaring you until you're dead or she's unable to do so any more."

You float some ideas to Lucian about how to kill Adrianna; basically, his overall point is that *nothing* can kill a vampire. Atomic disintegration wouldn't be enough, it'd just delay the process marginally compared to cremation and scattering of the ashes. Imprisonment might work, though... if you can set up a prison for her that would contain her *and* get her inside it *and* make sure that nobody finds it and opens it for the next 70+ years... which would be rather difficult to manage on the budget of a seventeen year old girl.

"C-can't you do it?"

"I don't have magical infinite resources," he says, a little annoyed. "I have some money put away, sure, and I invested back in the day... but I'm not that rich. A few million dollars, total."

>You can get rid of Adrianna by... [Write-in]
>Fine, he can make you a vampire.
>This is all his fault! He needs to fix it!
>Write-in.
>>
>>36271555
Fuck my mind's going blank on how to kill her.QUICK SOMEONE THINK OF SOMETHING
>>
>>36271555
>Imprisonment might work, though... if you can set up a prison for her that would contain her *and* get her inside it *and* make sure that nobody finds it and opens it for the next 70+ years...
>You can get rid of Adrianna by... [Write-in]
A boat. Lots of concrete. Fill her body with liquid concrete, cover that with liquid concrete. Wait for it to harden, then kick it out in the middle of the pacific ocean.

If you want to be really sure, then you could even buy a larger outside of Aluminum/lead/other metal.
>>
>>36271555
>Write-in.
"well it's your fault so you'll have to protect me!"
(with more stuttering, probably)
>>
>>36271555
>Fine, he can make you a vampire.
>>
>>36271600
>>36271555
This.
Honestly shouldn't cost that much either.

Want to make it even better though? Do that with every single limb. Replace the bone marrow with concrete too.

Finally, taking the skull and placing it somewhere like the top of mount everest should work as well. Emplace it in the ice,
>>
>>36271600
>>36271662
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Concrete_degradation#Sea_water
>>
Kill her:
>>36271596
>>36271600
>>36271662

No you kill her:
>>36271612

No wait kill me instead:
>>36271614
>>
"We, we could kill her... and, and put her body in concrete, and take her out on a boat, and- and dump it in the ocean."

"Concrete erodes," Lucian says.

"Th-there's probably concrete that doesn't erode," you say, stammering. "I- I mean people have stuff out in the ocean, right? Surely somebody's said, I want some seawater proof concrete, and then they made seawater proof concrete."

"Maybe," Lucian allows. "So how do you plan on killing her and getting her to stay still long enough to stick her body in concrete and take her off on a boat?"

"I-I managed it already!"

"Once bitten, twice shy," he says. "Are you sure it'll be so easy a second time?"

"I already killed her twice!" You hiss angrily. "She's not very difficult to kill."

"Well, if you think so... then I suppose there's no stopping you."

>Good! You'll call him when it's done. Go home, grab your gun, and hide in your room, waiting for her.
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36272036
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>>
>>36272036
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>>
>>36272036
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>>
>>36272036
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>>
"H-hang on, you're going to help with this," you say, panic reaching into your voice.

"Am I?"

"This is your fault! You need to help me fix this!"

"Is it my fault? I don't see it that way. It's pretty clear to me that Adrianna is the one at fault for this. Not me. Am I trying to kill you? Did I tell her to try to kill you? I don't think so, Susan. It's not my fault." He sounds almost bored as he says all this.

"You- you can't be serious!"

"If you kill her somehow, I'll work on getting things together for you. Best of luck."

The line goes dead, and you stare at your phone, mystified, enraged. You redial, but it goes to voicemail immediately. You hang up. "Motherfucker," you hiss under your breath.

>Email him, ask him to turn you into a vampire, you're not taking this risk without help.
>Fine! Whatever! You killed her twice, you can do it three times! Take the AR-15 with you to your room, wait for her.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36272036
>Hold on, he's going to help you with this, this is his fault, he's going to help you kill her.
>>
>>36272228
>Fine! Whatever! You killed her twice, you can do it three times! Take the AR-15 with you to your room, wait for her.
How the fuck did we get an AR 15 anyways?
>>
>>36272228
>Write-in.
Email him.
"I have something you want. Me."
"If you don't comply then I'll take that away."
>>
>>36272286
>>36272228
This
>>
>>36272228
tempting, let's do this:
>>36272286
>>
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>>36272273
By being born american.
>>36272228
>Fine! Whatever! You killed her twice, you can do it three times! Take the AR-15 with you to your room, wait for her.
>>
>>36272286
>>36272228
Seconding.
Grab a gun and wait in our room for both of them.
>>
>>36272228
Supporting: >>36272286
>>
>>36272320
..I'm an american and sadly i cannot refute that point....You'd be surprised what you can get ahold of here.....
>>
>>36272338
Think about what a second shooting at our house will do. The police will be mighty suspicious.
>>
>>36272286
Maybe we should hit one at a time. This seems risky.
>>
>>36272389
It's basically a "I'll commit suicide unless you get rid of her for me"
>>
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>>36272369
Oh I'm an american as well. I think it was when I built a handcannon that used powder I made myself for a tenth grade project that I realized why I love this county.
>>
>>36272500
Yep.Good ole america
>>
Whatever, fag.
>>36272273
>>36272320

If you don't do what I say... then you won't get to tap my pasty little goth ass!
>>36272286
>>36272304
>>36272319
>>36272344

Shoot both I guess?
>>36272338
>>
>>36272286
that's so what a 16-ish girl would do be a little cunt till he can't stand us any more.
>>
You type out an email to Lucian, careful to use impeccable spelling and grammar.

"I have something you want: me. If you don't comply, then I'll take that away. Sent from my XI-83 Smartphone."

It takes a half minute for the reply to come through. "Is that a promise?"

What the fuck is that supposed to mean? "I don't understand the question. Sent from my XI-83 Smartphone."

"If I help you, will I get to keep you? Or are you just a tease looking for a big strong man to protect her?" What the fuck? You thought guys only got like this after you slept with them! You keep reading. "You're not that pretty. Not enough to be worth going to such lengths for without a guarantee. Promise me that you'll be mine and I'll help. Otherwise..."

>Fine, you'll be his girlfriend or whatever, *if* he helps you get rid of Adrianna!
>What a fucking asshole! Tell him to fuck off, you'll figure out how to deal with Adrianna yourself.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36272320
>AR-15
>Not AR-10
>Not M1 Garand

Man, it's like you don't even know that humans are medium game.
>>
>>36272621
>What a fucking asshole! Tell him to fuck off, you'll figure out how to deal with Adrianna yourself.
that bastard, i'm sure he was just into her because she's still a virgin
>>
>>36272621
>Fine, you'll be his girlfriend or whatever, *if* he helps you get rid of Adrianna!
>>
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>>36272621
.............
>>
>>36272621
>What a fucking asshole! Tell him to fuck off, you'll figure out how to deal with Adrianna yourself.

At least Adrianna was straightforward with how much of a bitch she was. Hell she might have been a nice girl once upon a time.
>>
>>36272642
>implying my mother didn't give me a garand for my tenth Christmas
>>
>>36272621
>Write-in.
>"You're not that pretty. Not enough to be worth going to such lengths for without a guarantee. Promise me that you'll be mine and I'll help. Otherwise..."
Email back:
"There's a reason you're not doing this face to face, because even through this I know you're lying."
"Now, when we deal with Adrianna, at that point I'd be willing to forget you're a Vampire who quite noticeably wanted to suck my blood, got my life in danger several times, and decided to try and black mail me using their murderous Ex-Girlfriend."
"Do we have a deal?"
>>
>>36272785
Seconding this
>>
>>36272785
This
>>
>>36272785
Seconding
>>
"You're lying. You were totally desperate for me, earlier, and now you're trying to pretend you're not? Please. Help me deal with Adrianna and I'll forget that you're a vampire who wanted to suck my blood, got my life in danger, and tried to blackmail me when his murderous ex showed up. Deal? Sent from my XI-83 Smartphone."

"I barely know you, Susan. You're not worth going to such lengths for, not just for some trial run bullshit. No deal. Sorry about your impending doom, but I gave you a chance. Email me if you come to your senses; otherwise, don't bother."

You look up from your smartphone. You're home.

>Go inside, get the AR-15, head to your room with it.
>Go inside, get one of the pistols, head out. You don't want to do this at your house.
>Email him again, tell him you'll be his girlfriend or whatever.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36272621
>Write-in.

"I refuse. I am not an object, and fear will not make me yours.

I can't believe you broke up with Adrianna, you deserve each other."
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get the AR-15, head to your room with it.
He'll break.
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get the AR-15, head to your room with it.
>>
>>36273008
>Email him again, tell him you'll be his girlfriend or whatever.
>>
>>36273025
>Go inside, get one of the pistols, head out. You don't want to do this at your house.
HAH THIS!
>>
>jerk off to a photo you secretly took of him and get caught
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get one of the pistols, head out. You don't want to do this at your house.
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get one of the pistols, head out. You don't want to do this at your house.
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get the AR-15, head to your room with it.

>Write-in.

Email Lucian, tell him to never show his face to us again and that him and Adrianna make a perfect couple.
>>
>>36273008
>Go inside, get the AR-15, head to your room with it.
Grab a pistol too, better for suicide.
>>
Room:
>>36273072
>>36273073
>>36273201
>>36273219

Head out:
>>36273089
>>36273163
>>36273185

Fine, I'll be your love slave! I just don't want to die!
>>36273078

Time to schlick.
>>36273111
>>
He'll... he'll break. Yeah. He will. He totally will. You swallow nervously and head inside. Your mom's not home yet, and it's still not dark out, so you take the AR-15, make sure it's loaded, and head up to your room, lying down in bed, your only companion the rifle, and wait for Adrianna.

And wait.

And wait. When mom calls you down for dinner, you claim you already ate. It's a lie, but she buys it, and it means you can stay up here, safe, with the gun. So you can wait some more.

It's well into the night when you finally hear somebody creaking around on the rooftop. You wait for her, rather than giving chase, paying careful attention to every sound. Listening carefully, you hear her crack open one of the other windows on the second story and slowly start to walk around, making her way towards you at a languid pace. She's barely audible.

>Shoot her the moment she comes through the door, then... [Write-in]
>Hold her up when she comes through the door, then... [Write-in]
>Lock your door and escape through the window, force her to chase you down the street if she wants to kill you.
>Lock your door and escape through the window, double around into the back yard and kill her when she comes there.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36273495
>Lock your door and escape through the window, force her to chase you down the street if she wants to kill you.
>>
>>36273495
>Write-in.
Block and lock the door and open the window loudly as if we're going out there. Block window with something. Point gun at door and wait.
>>
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>>36272755
>>
>>36273495
>>Hold her up when she comes through the door, then... [Write-in]
>>
>>36273495
>Lock your door and escape through the window, double around into the back yard and kill her when she comes there.
>>
>>36273640
>>36273495
This
>>
>>36273495
>Hold her up when she comes through the door, then... [Write-in]

Tell her that we don't want Lucian, that we think he's a creepy, possessive, slimeball and don't want a single thing to do with him. And he obviously doesn't care much about us if he's not doing anything about her.

Tell her that she can have him, they deserve each other. And to fuck off and leave us alone forever, or we'll kill her again and set her on fire.
>>
>>36273495
>>Hold her up when she comes through the door, then... [Write-in]
"How many times do I have to kill you before you and your boyfriend leave me alone?"
>>
>>36273640
This.
>>
>>36273640
And then when/if she comes through the door...?
>>
>>36273860
If they start breaking through the door then shoot.
>>
>>36273893
Okay, you're going to have to explain your strategy here, I'm not understanding how all the pieces fit together.
>>
>>36273935
Block and lock door.

Pretend to open window and block the window.

Aim gun at door. They'll likely be perturbed by our actions and assume we're outside on the roof, which may result in them breaking down the door.

When they start breaking down the door, we'll shoot through the door and into them.
>>
>>36273792
This
>>
>>36273979
or, we lock down the door, open the window and give her a nice welcome when she passes it?
>>
You take the AR-15 with you, quietly locking the door and pushing a chair up under the knob before turning to the window and opening it wide. The sound apparently reaches Adrianna, because you hear her footsteps quicken, and the knob shake. You wait a moment, just in case; when she starts slamming her weight into the door, you open fire, cutting a quick few shots at chest height through the door. From the sounds coming through the door, you're pretty sure you got her. Also, your mom is freaking out downstairs, yelling at you to tell her what the hell is going on.

You unbar and unlock the door before opening it, AR-15 at the ready, and Adrianna's lying there, a bloody mess.

An immortal bloody mess, you remind yourself.

>Write-in.
>>
>>36274106
>Write-in.
"Just an intruder again Mom, I seem to have a lot of people who dislike me."
"Actually Mom, could you come up here and help me? I think I've got a lot to explain."
>>
How are we going to explain this to the cops? Gunshots two days running gets attention.
>>
>>36274145
>>36274106
This
>>
>>36274106
First, get another shot or two through Adrianna's brainpan, just to be sure.

Then tell our Mom its under control and we'll explain everything.

Then call Lucian, tell him we've got a psycho ex corpse for him to take care of and that afterwards we never want to see him again.

Then remove Adrianna's limbs with an axe or something, keep her body parts separated.
>>
>>36274106
priority n°1: tell your mom not to call the cops
then, double tap Adrianna and call Lucian for cleaning services
>>
>>36274106
Either talk to mom and dismember Adrianna, or Let Adrianna heal up in chains and tell her to get both herself and Lucian out of our life.
>>
>>36274236
IF our neighbours heard the gunshots they will also call the cops. Then it looks better for us if we've already called them.
>>
>>36274253
I'd let her heal up and try to get her to get rid of Lucien two birds with one stone.
>>
>>36274421
>I'd let her heal up and try to get her to get rid of Lucien two birds with one stone.
What happens if we mesh their skeletons together, I wonder.
>>
>>36274459
3speeky5mo
>>
>>36274459
Tzimisce Quest
>>
Sorry, my computer decided to eat its own tail. Let me count up votes.

Get mom's help:
>>36274145
>>36274195
>>36274236
>>36274253

Get Lucian's help:
>>36274224
>>36274236

Sic her on Lucian:
>>36274253
>>36274421
>>
"The intruder again, mom," you call down, looking at Adrianna's body. You shoot twice more in her head. Just to make sure. "Not a problem. It's under control. No point calling the cops." You pull out your smartphone and call Lucian.

"Reconsidered my offer?"

"No, but I've got your psycho ex's corpse here and I need you to get rid of it for me. Then we can never see one another again."

"Mmm..." he hums, in thought. "Is there really any good reason for me to do that? I mean... what do I have to gain from it?ou're not offering a lot, here."

"Are you fucking serious?" You hiss into the phone. "We fucking agreed on this."

"We 'agreed' on that before you decided you wanted my help murdering Adrianna and tried to hold our relationship hostage over it. Now you've decided that there is no relationship, so why should I help you?"

"Sweetie? Is everything okay up there?"

"It's fine, mom!" You yell, pulling your lips away from the smart phone for a moment.

>Lie. Tell him you'll be his girlfriend, get him to help you get rid of Adrianna's body, then run and never look back.
>Lie. Tell him you'll be his girlfriend, get him to help you get rid of Adrianna's body, have him turn you into a vampire, then run and never look back.
>Fuck this guy. Close the phone, get started on getting rid of Adrianna's body... somehow. [Write-in on how]
>Tell him you'll be his girlfriend if he just helps you get rid of the fucking body.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36274839
He's clearly not over her is he's fine with her trying to kill any girl he dates. This is his chance to be rid of her and he isn't taking it. Get rid of her yourself.
>>
>>36274839
>Panic.
>>
>>36274839
>Write-in.
"because even if you're not dating me, she'll just end up attacking your next conquest after she's done with me? god, why are you acting like a dick now? do you still like her or something?"
>>
>>36274987
>>36274839
This
>>
>>36274839
>Tell him you'll be his girlfriend if he just helps you get rid of the fucking body.
>>
>>36274839
>>Fuck this guy. Close the phone, get started on getting rid of Adrianna's body... somehow. [Write-in on how]

Cremation usually leaves 3.5% of the original body left. Get some gasoline, and a bucket of Concrobium shop cleaner from Lowes. Ya'know, this stuff: http://www.lowes.com/pd_539377-64395-025-401_4294729410__?productId=50053505&Ns=p_product_qty_sales_dollar|1&pl=1&currentURL=%3FNs%3Dp_product_qty_sales_dollar%7C1&facetInfo=. Dump her ashes in and remember to monitor it every few weeks.
>>
>>36274987
This
>>
>>36274987
>>36274946
>>36274839
This.
>>
Like, oh my gawd, you are so totally lame!
>>36274987
>>36275014
>>36275030
>>36275038

Get rid of her yourself:
>>36274946
>>36275028

Panic:
>>36274973

You'll be his girlfriend if he does this for you!
>>36275015
>>
>>36274839
>Write-in.

"I'm surprised you and Adrianna broke up. You're a perfect match for each other. You like having her around don't you? Having someone to scare the girls you choose so they come running to you. You're pathetic.

You have two choices, you can clean up your mess and deal with the psycho-bitch, or we'll see how the police react to regenerating corpses."
>>
>>36274839
Man, this Lucian guy is a piece of shit.
>>
>>36275171
Century+ old Vampires tend to have poor social skills
>>
>>36275222
"I'm not mean. I'm a thousand years old, and I just lost track of my moral code."
>>
>>36275171
The name Lucian didn't tip you off? This is like being surprised that a girl named Lucretia is a conniving bitch.
>>
>>36275248
When you're an immortal being that regularly outlives your peers, friends, enemies, and lovers, you tend to stop giving a shit about how others see you.
>>
"Even if you're not dating me, she'll just end up attacking the next girl you go after," you hiss angrily into the phone. "This is your chance to get rid of her. Take it, you fucking jackass."

"Mmm... or you could do what you know I want, and we could both be happy. You, because Adrianna won't be hurting you anymore, and me, because I'll have a pretty, shy girl wrapped around my little finger. Your choice."

"Fuck you," you say. "Is that it? You're just playing fucking chicken with me?"

"You have a lot more to lose than I do, Susan. Your life, for one. How many times do you think you can kill Adrianna before she gets tired of trying to do you in with her bare hands and just burns down your house with you inside?"

"Do you... do you still like her or something?"

"She's attractive enough," he says, in a way that sounds almost bored. "She's what happens when you dose a girl juuuuust a little bit on the blood before you turn her, though. Took me far too long to realize how bad it was, nowadays I try to avoid chemical assistance when I'm getting new girls. Speaking of... reconsidered my offer yet?"

>Lie. Tell him you'll be his girlfriend, get him to help you get rid of Adrianna's body, then run and never look back.
>Lie. Tell him you'll be his girlfriend, get him to help you get rid of Adrianna's body, have him turn you into a vampire, then run and never look back.
>Fuck this guy. Close the phone, get started on getting rid of Adrianna's body... somehow. [Write-in on how]
>Tell him you'll be his girlfriend if he just helps you get rid of the fucking body.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36275314
>Tell him you'll break the masquerade if he doesn't step in.
>>
>>36275314
>"Fuck.You"
>>
>>36275314
>Write-in.
"Okay, fine. Get over here."
"No touching me until she's all processed and dealt with."
Then we shoot him in the back.
>>
>>36275314
>>Fuck this guy. Close the phone, get started on getting rid of Adrianna's body... somehow. [Write-in on how]

Reduce her body to 3.5% of it's prior mass and soak it in shop remover? Lowes is open til 11:00 where I live, and they've got tons of heavy duty shop remover (I.E. highly corrosive anti-organic acid).
>>
>>36275314
Who needs chemical assistance when you've got blackmail, right?
>>
>>36275407
>>36275314
>>36275368
This.
Tell him to grab the chemicals then shoot him too.
>>
>>36275314
>Write-in.

"I would rather die than be yours. Fuck. You.

Either deal with the body or I give the authorities proof of vampiric existence."
>>
>>36275314
>>Fuck this guy. Close the phone, call the police, demonstrate the amazing regenerating corpse
Lets try to see how far government funding can get us on the path to wiping out his whole fucking species.
>>
>>36275447
This.
>>
>>36275314
>Write-in.
i'll see about dating you once she's taken care of.
>>
So is this gonna be Paranormal Hunter ROmance Quest? Because I'm okay with this.
>>
>>36275314
>Drink her blood. Clearly this is a great idea.
>>
It's okay to betray a betrayer.
>>36275368
>>36275447
>>36275515

Muh masquerade.
>>36275363
>>36275491

Lick shiny red liquid:
>>36275552

Afterwards:
>>36275524

Do it yourself you lazy bum:
>>36275407
>>36275512

Some one-sentence dialogue that doesn't actual comprise anything to build an update on:
>>36275367
>>36275410
>>
>>36275641
Welp, so much for Romance
>>
>>36275248
Kek
>>
>>36275641
For the record, I wasn't voting, just commenting.
>>
>>36275641
Huh. Did'ja plan for this to spiral into hemo-phage murder plots?
>>
>>36275711
Discovery wrote most of the plot this time.
>>
>>36275727
Aliens?
>>
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>>36275727
This statement is sausage to me. Pretend I'm a guamless, trog-flogging ingrate.
>>
>>36275780
Means I had no plans in advance regarding about like 90% of the shit that happened in this thread.
>>
You sigh, then suck in a deep breath, putting on your blankest mask. "Fine. Fine. You win. You come over here and help me get rid of the body and... and I'll be yours. For- for life, or unlife, or whatever." It makes you feel sick to your stomach, even talking about it, but whatever. "Bring some stuff from the home improvement store..." you list off several items you'll be needing. What Mr. Caldwell doesn't realize is that he's bringing enough for two.

It doesn't take long for him to arrive, and (thank fuck) your mom has stayed downstairs and the police haven't come in the half-hour it takes for him to finish up. Adrianna's head was starting to come together again, and you didn't want to spend anymore bullets, so you wound up cutting off her limbs. Going through bone was fucking hard work, but you managed it, somehow.

Lucian arrives through a nearby window, carrying several cans of dangerous liquids. "Here's the stuff."

"Hey, baby," Adrianna croaks out from her position on the floor, having managed to heal enough for that. "C'mon. Give her the blood and we can keep her as a pet. I don't mind."

"Oh, I'll be keeping her as a pet alright, Adrianna. There's just one problem... it's conditional on you doing something for me."

"Anything for you, Lucian," she says, her voice silky smooth.

"Be quiet for a couple minutes while we move you?"

Adrianna goes dead silent as the two of you transport her body parts to your family's garage. You carry your AR-15 with you at all times, at the ready, "in case she tries anything."

Lucian's just about ready to start pouring gasoline on her.

>Shoot Lucian, kill him, burn his corpse, stick the ashes in a jar of acid, like you planned. Try to help Adrianna come back to her senses.
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, then kill Lucian.
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, be Lucian's girl toy until you can convince him to turn you into a vampire, then kill him.
>Write-in.
>>
>>36275860
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, then kill Lucian.
>>
>>36275860
>Shoot Lucian, kill him, burn his corpse, stick the ashes in a jar of acid, like you planned. Try to help Adrianna come back to her senses.
Y'know what i like this idea
>>
>>36275860
>Write-in.
Shoot Lucian.
Shoot her.
Burn them together, stick their ashes in the same jar of acid.
>>
>>36275860
>>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, then kill Lucian.
>>
>>36275860
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, then kill Lucian.
>>
>>36275860
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, then kill Lucian.
>>
>>36275860
>Let Lucian help you kill Adrianna, be Lucian's girl toy until you can convince him to turn you into a vampire, then kill him.
>>
>>36275907
>>36275860
This
>>
Kill 'em both:
>>36275882
>>36275909
>>36275912
>>36275917

Tzimisce Romance Quest:
>>36275907
>>36275970

Adrianna doesn't deserve this!
>>36275905

I wanna be a vampire!
>>36275955
>>
>>36275860
>>Shoot Lucian, kill him, burn his corpse, stick the ashes in a jar of acid, like you planned. Try to help Adrianna come back to her senses.
>>
>>36276169
>>36275905
"hey i just killed the boy you're yandere over for years, let's be friends"
>>
You just watch as Lucian pours gasoline on Adrianna. She gives this weird little half-smile as she looks up at him, her eyes as trusting as a puppy dog. "Don't worry, babe. Just be quiet for a little longer and it'll all be fine," Lucian says, and Adrianna nods. You feel a little sick to your stomach when he lights her on fire.

Not enough to not immediately turn your gun on him, blowing a few holes in his chest and tossing his body on top of Adrianna's, waiting for both of them to burn to a crisp.

It seems that gasoline doesn't burn bodies to ashes completely, though, and you have to grab a large number of icky bones as you stuff them in a big container, which you promptly fill with acid to eat away at what's left, scooping up the ashes in their entirety into the container to make absolutely sure before covering the lid.

Well. That was a hell of a week. You hope the next boy who takes an interest in you is nicer.

>END OF QUEST

My twitter: https://twitter.com/72oOCCJ1

Give me a second to put together a list of my other quest ideas and you can vote on which one you guys want me to run next.
>>
>>36276280
Ehhh do you do longer quests?
>>
>>36276308
Not on this trip.
>>
>>36276280
thanks for running!
>Well. That was a hell of a week. You hope the next boy who takes an interest in you is nicer.
that sums it up perfectly
>>
>>36276280
HER! I vote HER
>>
>>36276280
....did we ever even learn the MC's name? Because after all that shit, I do believe we deserve to at least have a name.
>>
>>36276280
Will there be an option for more of this? Because I'm liking this.
>>
>>36276280
EPILOOOOOOGUE
>>
>>36276321
susan
>>
>>36276280
Here's hoping we have the sense to move to somewhere else, because Man are those vamps gonna be pissed
>>36276308
CK Quest was a bit longer, around 6 threads
Mostly, though, his quests run for 2-3 threads
>>
>>36276321
Susan.
>>
>>36276321
Susan.

>>36276335
Nah. It's pretty much resolved everything, I think, any sequel would wind up being one of those suspension-testing things. Sort of like if Taken got a sequel.

>>36276347
What would you want to see in an epilogue?
>>
>>36276366
Ten years later?
>>
>>36276366
Maybe Susan moving somewhere else, a bit more confident since, you know, she just survived a bastard vampire and his yandere ex
>>
>>36276366
2000 years later when lucian and adrianna wake up
>>
>>36276366
Susan manning the fuck up after the whole affair
>>
>>36276366
Did you expect this to happen at all? Where did you think the quest would go?
>>
>>36276366
Susan the vampire hunter.
>>
Royal - you're a princess involved in some kind of palace intrigue, but mostly you just wish you weren't kept in the castle like a caged rat. You have some kind of natural magical talent.
Sanguine - you are a teenage boy who becomes a vampire. Now, with your supernatural powers, you can at last get that cheerleader who always ignored you.
Her - fantasy setting, you're a sailor (or maybe some kind of magic type? Or a missionary? Not 100% decided on occupation.) who washes up on some distant island, and a beautiful (and insanely dangerous) monster falls in love with you. The natives are not pleased.
Loveless - you are the godfather of a fifteen year old girl whose parents died. she's depressed/suicidal. also in love with you.
Miai - you are a young wizard who goes to a marriage meeting with a young witch. Then a murder occurs. Mystery/thriller.
Beloved - you are a Twipire; an ageless, immortal killing machine. You've just imprinted upon a seventeen year old boy.
Mahouka - you are a teenage boy, and you're crushing on this girl who's basically Rei Ayanami... but it turns out she's a magical girl?!
Teacher's Pet - you're a teenager and all-around golden boy, and there's this one teacher you're crushing on... and it seems she's interested back?
Bottle Baby - you're a genetically engineered vat grown assassin/seductress whose parent company got busted up by the government and now has to attend a high school, when the boy you're interested in gets in trouble with a local gang.

http://strawpoll.me/3026113
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>>36276405
No, they're gonna wake up around a decade later, try going after Susan, then realize they have no leads
Then they decide to go try working in the private sector, this company called Chiron's hiring, and they don't really care about your past
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>>36276447
come on guys...nows the time for HER....
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>>36276437
At the risk of destroying the veil, I didn't plan on Lucian being a bad guy. Seemed like the best path to go at the time, though, to make things keep going.
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>>36276512
If he had given into the blackmail I'd have went with a slow relationship with him.

It didn't seem like a jarring change at all though, felt very planned.
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>>36276447
tfw we will never play HER
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>>36276605
Her a shit
>>
>EPILOGUE: TWENTY YEARS LATER

Dorian is in the kitchen, making supper. It's Mother's Day, which thankfully means you don't have to do much of anything. Hannah, your oldest, is busily playing with that new handheld that Nintendo put out... you can't remember the name. You want to say LDS but you're sure that's not right. She's not paying much attention to anything other than Mario saving Princess Zelda, or whatever game she's playing.

Nora's out playing in the back yard with Luke, tossing a bouncy ball around while laughing and yelling. Luke runs in the garage to try to escape Nora's barage, though, and you immediately get up, running at a lightning pace into the garage, picking him up and carrying him bodily out of the garage before closing the door behind you. You squat down at eye level with the two. "What have I told you two?"

"...no playing in the garage, and no opening the container labeled Don't Open..." they intone, as one.

"So don't, okay? It's for everybody's safety. There's some biohazard crap in there. The government's not going to pay to clean it up, and neither am I, so just leave it alone. Okay?"

They nod, and you bring them back inside to eat the delicious supper that your wonderful husband, Dorian, made for you. He's the sweetest man you've ever met, and he loves you for you.

>DOUBLE END OF QUEST.
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>>36276694
Happy, warm and fuzzy. Thanks for the double ending OP.
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>>36276694
neat
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lol at the quest where you fuck your teacher winning so hard.
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>>36276694
honestly you would have hoped 20 years in the future we could have perched a home rocket kit to sent them into the sun. shit you can get balloons that go into space cheep as fuck now
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>>36276694
Thanks for running and the epilogue. nice wrap up to the wrap up.
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>>36276752
The epilogue takes place in an alternate universe where ideas that you have twenty years to come up with are decided in the span of like, twenty minutes.
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>>36276605
If it's any consolation, Her would have been my second choice.
But Teacher's Pet a best. Wasn't expecting so many people to agree with me.

>>36276694
...daww. That's cute.
And one day long into the future, probably after we're dead, one of our kids is going to open that, immediately think we're a serial killer, and then most likely die.
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>>36276773
You can vote for more than one option.
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>>36276752
>baloons that can go into space
>with a big container tied to it
dunno why, but i wouldn't trust it



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