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>99/100
>Bring the pain.

Your mind is free at last of the Communist taint, and the spirit of Texas flows through you - pecan pies, ten gallon hats, incest, wide open ranges, guns, bright blue skies, and most importantly, Freedom!

A cry of democratic beauty is released, and you charge the Japanese mecha. It swivels to fire at you, but you're running with the speed of a charging bull, and hit like one too. Smashing your weight into the leg of the machine, it teeters and topples, crashing into the ground and waving its mechanical limbs around pitifully.

These nips can't even build a mecha right, you think, and fuckhuge mechas was supposed to be their specialty! You smash through the windshield of the cockpit with ease, gripping the pilot by the collar and pulling her out.
She stammers in a series of unintelligible japspeak, and you find yourself just as irritated as you had been by the kraut, though now your xenophobia is 100% American!

You grip the pilot's head, and channel the strength of Texas through your form, tearing it off cleanly. Red blood sprays from the woman's neck, the color of Justice, Jesus' blood and that of every hardworking Texan to walk this beautiful nation.

The jap mecha fallen, you turn to the final foreigner - the Ruskies who brainwashed you to begin with! You move to topple their mecha, but before you can charge it shudders and shakes.

Without the power of your old Communist pride, the Communist Charge Core falls to critically low levels! The mecha breaks apart, its scrap metal warping and the junk surrounding it falling to the ground with a clatter. You approach the last survivor of the wreckage. It doesn't seem to be the pilot, but whatever, someone's head is getting torn off.

You grip the Commie's head and pull, liberating it from its body with a mighty tug!

Discarding the head, you survey the scene: three toppled mechs, several dead foreigners, and a blasted hellscape where the demons once resided.

What next, Fel Hardon?
>>
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>>36418215
Now that those foreign invaders are taken care of, it's time to deal with those demonic invaders. We should rustle up the town to reconfigure these damaged mechas into one Steel Horse (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SRvCvsRp5ho) which we'll ride over to the demons, presenting it as a gift, when really we're going to be firing all our guns right in the middle of them.
>>
>>36418215
Previous threads archived: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Kabbalah%20Quest
>>
>>36418215
It might be a good idea to find out what happened to Bigg first, I think. Get our own house in order, if you will, before going demon-hunting.
>>
>>36418382
I'll second this
>>
>>36418215
The Texan Gov should get these mechas for research and use them to make our new army
>>
>>36418429
>Getting the gubmint involved
We just tore one communist's head off, do you want to be next?
>>
>>36418456
DO YOU WANT THE UST TO FALL BOY?
NOTHING MORE AMERICAN AND TEXAN THAN A GOVERNMENT THAT SPENDS FUCKTONS OF MONEY IN MILITARY ENDEAVOURS.

MECHA ARMY IS ONE SUCH THING
>>
>>36418480
The average Texan Mecha has about as much dakka as a Gargant. We can afford a few of these, probably.
>>
>It might be a good idea to find out what happened to Bigg first, I think. Get our own house in order, if you will, before going demon-hunting.

You make a mental note to find these mechs again later - they may come in handy. For now though, you should head back home.

The walk is a short one, powered by your home-grown Texan leg muscles, and you quickly return. Fucking Darla is still deepthroating that bull goddamn was your mother always such a slut? No, must be the demons. Still you can't object since you were in the same position.

You open the door, holding in your hand the head of the dead German soldier and tossing it on Pa's lap.
"Got another one fer yer collection, Pa!"

"Aw thanks darlin'," your father beams "Say, didja ever check out that weird noise coming from the back room?"

>Investigate the noise
>Ask Pa to come investigate with you
>Pull Darla off of Milky and have her investigate with you
>Write in
>>
Is it to early for me to go back to anonymous and have someone else QM? I didn't do a whole lot, I just wanted to make sure the thread continued. Someone else ought to be doing it anyways.
>>
>>36418700
>Pull Darla off of Milky and have her investigate with you
>>
>Pull Darla off of Milky and have her investigate with you
>Ask Pa to come investigate with you
Bu-but she was with us...


Also long term plan idea here: Lead the UST to glory, reconquer AMERICA.
Maybe become president and go full Nanomachines, Son! On people.
>>36418726
Do whichever. I dunno if there's anyone available, but I'm sure they'll show up if the thread is bumped through the night
>>
>>36418772
>>36418700
Forgot to link to this.
>>
>>36418772
Darla went back to fellating that bull the moment you took your eyes off her. She's incorrigible, that one.
Also,
>long term plans
This is Kabbalah Quest. 'Long Term' is relative.
>>
>>36418700
>Ask Pa to come investigate with you
Our dad can use sun powers!
>>
>>36418804
>Short term plan:Get your mom to love you more then ditching you when you turn away to suck off a damn animal
>>
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>>36418885
>pic related

>>36418909
Hey now, maybe she just trusted that we'd be fine.
>>
>>36418909
There are three ways you can go about this, anon:
1 - Remove the demon bits. Warning: this may result in a corpse.
2 - Introduce the concept of love to a demon. The ramifications of this are great indeed.
3 - Give her something more worthwhile to suck on. It's not really love, but it'll keep her around.
>>
>>36418951
Maybe we could go a Journey to the East, place a limiter on her demonic being, and fight an Ox King along the way, who knows?
>>
So, who's up for QMing next?

>>36418951
#3 seems like the easy way out. And the sexiest way.
>>
>>36418951
Welp the only option i can see working out okayish is two to be honest.....
>>
>>36418998
Yeah it is the easy way out.But are you a goddamn pussy and choose the the easyway out or are you a goddamn Kabbalahite and go in the hard way!
>>
>>36419027
>the hard way

>Eh, we're a Hardon, gotta take life hard on. Which means no easy way outs!
>>
Guys, you seem not to have noticed that Pa is already working on #2

Remember the syrup on the stairs?
>>
>>36419183
That was a clue to where Bigg is, you pervert.
>>
Bumpin. Don't you die, Kabbalah Quest!
>>
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>>36418762
>>36418772
>>36418885
"No, but we probably should see about that. Say, wait here a bit, I'm gonna run and get Ma real quick."

You walk back out to your demon-mom, and pull her off of Milky. The poor thing rights himself, and moans as he angles his tool away from your mother. Darla wipes the cum off of her chin, and licks it off her finger. After letting loose an impressive "BUURRRREP!" she sneers at the cowering... cow. "Ma can be a seriously scary she-devil!" you think to yourself.

"Ma, come with me, I got somethin' that I might need some help with. Like a rat or something. Fuckin' hate those varmints, so... squiggly! (TN: "squeaky" + "wiggly") And the teeth with all them germs... Urrrghhh!" you say with a shudder. Your demonic mother giggles a bit at this. You stick out your cheeks and pout in response. "Besides, you can't suck the bulls all day, they have to get some exercise in! Now come on!"

Dragging your Ma into the house, you see your Pa waiting at the foot of the stairs, in a... stylish cowboy hat and mask. He's also wearing a cape like a scarf. What's with that?

"Darlin', check this out," he says, as he points out a trail of syrup leading up the stairs to the hall containing your room as well as Bigg's. Where is that boy anyhow? He'd have better not gotten himself a bastard, or involved in a crime ring. You'd have to box his ears then.

Following the trail, you quickly arrive at Bigg's room. Only one creature could steal a pancake without any of you noticing. It'd have had to come in during the whole confusion yesterday with that big battle and what not. And it'd also have to be able to get through this door. Yes, you're certain of what creature lies behind this door. It's a

>fuckin' RAT, get the snakes!
>very obvious that Bigg is in there. (Roll 1d20, High DC, Best of 3)
>me, Mario!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>36421071
>very obvious that Bigg is in there,
>but get the snakes anyway.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36421071
>very obvious that Bigg is in there. (Roll 1d20, High DC, Best of 3)
Uh, what is the DC?
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36421071
>>
>>36421346
Don't worry, you made it.

>>36421390
... Y-yeah, you definitely made it. Writing.
>>
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>>36421390
You almost tell Pa to go get the snake bucket, but then you think better of it and press your ear against the door. You hear the "1-Up sound" over and over again. Someone's playing Super Mario Bros. and they're exploiting that trick with the Goomba shell! It could only be your brother, Bigg. He sucks at video games so much he HAS to use cheap gimmicks like that to win.

A drop of rain falls on to the wood floor. That's funny, you're inside, where could it have possibly come fro- oh you know how this goes. Overcome with relief from discovering that your brother is, in fact, alive, you let out a sigh you've been holding in since yesterday, and wipe away your tears. Grinning, you open up the door, and walk in, getting your fists into ear-boxing position. You're so happy to see him.

Only, you see him sitting in front of the TV with syrup smeared on his face. He's also got a look in his eye, and is grinning and occasionally making little comments like, "Eat shit, clitbiscuit!" and "Get fucked, fuckfucker!" and "Let me play, you're doing it all wrong!" and "You already got a turn, besides, you play Mario all wrong, you need to use more fireballs!" and "I'll play Mario however the fuck I want to play Mario, I'm the one playing!"

Also, he's kicking ass at Super Mario Bros. 3, and those "1-up" sounds you kept hearing before is coming from him jumping on all of those Bullet Bills on the scrolling level in Bowser's Kingdom. Huh.

>Biiiiiigg? You wouldn't happen to have been possessed by any demons, now would you?
>I'm so happy to see you, lil' bro!
>Check to make sure that there absolutely isn't a rat in here.

(Btw, if there are any volunteers, please say so! I'm going to keep going until then, though.)
>>
>>36422054
>Biiiiiigg? You wouldn't happen to have been possessed by any demons, now would you?
>>
Fearing the worst, you swallow, and ask, "Biiiiiigg? You wouldn't happen to have been possessed by any demons, now would you?"

Your brother's head snaps towards you, his horrid gaze piercing through the back of your head. Figuratively, of course, I would have given you a chance to dodge if I meant it literally.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, aren't we all, sis, aren't we all?" he laughs. He turns his head back towards the TV by twisting his torso a bit. Yup, that's not your brother.

Oh, goddamnit all! Why can't these fuckers just leave good, honest Texans alone? Texas did nothing wrong!

>Charge him and unleash a roundhouse kick
>Turn the game off
>Ask Ma what you should do, also, hey! This is your son by the way. Was, anyhow
>Write-in
>>
>>36422640
>Turn the game off
>Ask Ma what you should do, also, hey! This is your son by the way. Was, anyhow
>>
You move to turn the Nintendo off. Before you can do so, the controller wire whips against your hand, hard enough to leave a mark.

"No girls in the game room, get back in the kitchen, make me a sandwich out of those cow tits of yours," the demons drone out in perfect monotone.

Sucking on your bruised hand, you try to turn off the TV. It goes off, but even still you can hear clicks and clacks coming from behind you. "Nice ass!" says the demons. Never would you have thought you would have to hear THAT come out of your brother's dumb mouth. Oh yeah, the demons are still playing!? Turning the TV back on again, you see that indeed, turning the TV off was useless, because they're already halfway through another level. Fucking nerds!

You storm out of the room, griping about dorks and geeks being so good at their toys. As you do, you hear a soft "hellllp" on the air. Your father is glaring at the demons while stroking his moustache, and Darla is laughing at you and the demons.

"Ma, how do I get those pricks out of my brother? Oh by the way," you then go on to introduce the carcass that's was formerly your brother's and is now the home of a bunch of freeloading demons.

"Oh, did I have any fond memories of him?" Darla asks, to which Pa holds up one finger, his facial expressions shielded by his mask.

Darla frumbles her eyebrows in confusion, but a moment later she turns to you and says, "You'll either have to make a deal with them, destroy their host, or at least make it to where they don't want to stay in their host anymore."

Well, those are the options she's presented you with, but maybe you could come up with a different solution? Like, you feel as though you've earned the blessing of Heaven from defending you and yours from demons yesterday. But you could also use that to cure your mom of her condition later...

>Fight the demons
>Make a deal with the demons
>Use the Baby Jesus' blessing now
>Write-in
>>
>>36423064
>Fight the Demons
Baby Jesus is backup plan.
>>
You steel yourself for what must be done: Yiu have to fight those demons out of your brother's body, even if it means killing him. It won't come to that, though, you hope.

Charging at the demonhost, you jump up into the air and let loose a fierce roundhouse kick, which impacts on his outstretched hand. Gripping your foot, he twirls you and pushes you away, sending you spiraling out of the room at over 70 mph (or 2683 kmph for you foreigners out there).

Pa catches you and neutralizes the twirling by wrapping you up in his scarf, bringing the two of you together in a filial embrace. He pulls on the scarf again, sending you spinning yet again, the world a bunch of fleeting lights. He stops your spinning by taking your arm and doing a waltz manuever.

Taking a moment to collect yourself from the dizziness, you both look back at the demons. You see he's playing the game one-handed, his other hand being used to flip you off. Wait, you can see he's doing something with the other hand...

He's melding the controller into his arm!

"HEY, JERK-ASS, THAT'S AN ANTIQUE!" you yell at him. He just continues to make rude gestures at you, not bothering to take his eyes off the TV.

You're gonna need a plan to defeat him, it seems.

>You and Pa take him hard on
>You distract him while Pa does one of his flashy moves
>Pa distracts him while you go get one of the guns
>Ma distracts him with lewdness while you and Pa strike at him
>Write-in
>>
>>36422054
>exploiting that trick with the Goomba shell!
Fuck, not Goomba, meant Shyguy
>>
>>36423521
>>Ma distracts him with lewdness while you and Pa strike at him
Also, leaving after this post.
>>
>>36423546
I've gotta get some sleep as well.
>>
>>36423563
My plans for that fight future QMs can use maybe:
Demons could control one arm with the power glove, could potentially get another power glove and be the most skilled martial artist in history while simultaneously playing Double Dragon. Can be defeated handily by breaking the power gloves, disabling his hands. He then turns into a Many-armed Many-headed blob monster like in Akira.

I wish you well, and bid you good luck!
>>
BUMP OF GREATER JUSTICE
>>
>>36424923
I'm gathering my thoughts, soon to be writing the next update
>>
>>36424935
Good ninnius, nice to see you again.

Our lineage must continue.
>>
>>36423521

You race forward and do a split-kick, punting him in the chin. He staggers a little, the demons clearly not expecting such a display of flexibility and strength even from you.

Hunh, seems like they only possess his body and not his mind. You've sparred with Bigg often enough that he'd have seen that coming.

You duck and roll to give Pa a clean shot only to see that Ma has somehow lost half her clothes, bobbling her tits up and down.
Pa wrenches his gaze away and sucker punches the demons whilst they stare transfixed at Ma's hypnotic flesh.

The demons reel from the blow and you lash out with a low kick, toppling him to the floor.

You stand triumphant only to see that his other hand has now grasped the other controller and is in the process of assimilating it also.

"Fuck, the second one too? Do you even know how much of a bitch these will be to find now that you fucking demons have torn the UST a third arsehole?"

At this point the demons let out a myriad of mirthy laughs and Bigg starts rising from the floor like a puppet being pulled upright.
Man, those demons are freaky.

"That will be the least of your troubles I think" resonate the demons "take a look around you, foolish being".

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36425290

And a flash catches the corner of your eye and you spin your head to see a glowing neon rectangle floating midair.
Another glows into existence beside it and soon a cascade of block colours flicker into being throughout the room.
You turn to see them closing in on around the bedroom door, Ma rushing into the room and grabbing Pa, flinging him back through it whilst the momentum carries her crashing to the floor.

With a beep and fuzz of white noise your new environment seals itself, the furniture fading from view.
Rivulets of fluorescent oil form geometric patterns across the walls and there is a sudden twisting of space as the the glowing lines slice through the eclectic pallete which spiral out forming platonic solids that morph and warp in a fashion that you feel must defy the standard set of rules the universe plays by.

You look up to where the demons are bursting with raucous cackling, the controllers fully wrapping Bigg in a suit worthy of your average cyberpunk cosplayer.

"Here... Here I make the rules." they boom out "You will bow before us mortal, for we are Legion."
Ohgod. These demons are such nerds.

"But it would be too swift to crush you here. I must set a stage worthy of my might!" Legion intones, before pixilating into a square that fades.

The whirling polygons freeze motion and then bleed down into the floor which turns a bright green and spreads out in all directions.
Looking up across the flat plane you are struck by the infinite.
The sky blooms into a pure blue and with a succesion of beeps domed pillars shoot from the earth, followed by great rounded cones in the distance. Stylised clouds pop into the sky, comical shrubs rise through the ground and with a rumble giant green pipes slide out.

>(Cont.)
>>
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>>36425368

With a ringing sound yellow cubes materialise, floating in the air.

You cover your face in frustration as you recognise that sound, taking them away to reveal puffy white gloves and bright red sleeves.

Sighing, you turn to Ma and proffer a hand to help her up which she takes.
"So. Trapped in Mario World. You wouldn't happen to know anything about this would you Ma?"

"Well, firstly, this isn't actually a virtual world or anything like that. Legion simply created a pocket dimension and trapped us within it. It's an ability that just requires a bunch of demons thinking congrously to hold everything together, this Mario theme is just something they can use as a common focus. Fuckin' nerds."

"Right... so to leave this place we're gonna have to go find them aren't we? Wish they hadn't buggered off at the start, I could have taken him even in this poncy digital world"

"It's still not a digital world, just a reality they will to immitate one. And actually he fled because you'd have still overpowered him with ease just then, he needs time to will his power into being in this place."

"Hunh. Well then."

What do?
>Gotta just beat the final boss then right?
>Can WE will things into being?
>Write in
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>36425427
Will a BFG into existence
>>
>>36425427

You fall silent for a moment, though popping into your head.
If Legion can shape this world through his will, why can't you do the same?
Well, there's probably a good reason but you don't see the harm in trying all the same.

You cast your mind over the possibilities and it catches on a distant childhood memory of a storybook about a giant.
The giant had great big ears and a penchant for strange vegetables and moreover would be very unlikely to try to harm you were you to succeed in your endeavours.

You concentrate on his appearance, fixing all the details in your mind and... hope?
You blink your eyes open but only meet the puzzled look on Ma's face.

"You feeling alright gal?"

"Hunh? Oh, yeah. Just figured I'd try to manipulate this place meself."

"Well you can't, you ain't a demon. Moreover, you ain't a LOT of demons all trying the same thing. Even I can't do anything on my own, you need cognitive resonance for that sort of thing. Or something."

"Well, alright then, may as well just go about this head on. We'll beat this world on it's own fucking terms."

You turn and scramble up a nearby 'hill', scanning the horizon for the familiar.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36425549

Floating boxes scatter the sky, blocky ledges break up the floor and gormless goombas mill around. In the distance you can make out a giant flagpole.

"You probably don't know much about this setting Ma, but that's our destination if we want to clear this level. Follow me and try not to get hit by things."

"Lead on then dear."

With a sigh you start jogging in the direction that the flagpole lies.

You were never brilliant at the actual game, having better things to do with your time and the hapless herds outside the house.
But, ironically enough, your well-honed body is a vastly better tool to apply to this problem than hours of gaming experience.
You muse at the mental image of a shut-in gamer's glee at spawning in this world only to be crushed when they're face with the first two metre wall to scale. Yup, you thank the Lord that you have the strength and stamina to effortlessly bound across this place.

Cresting a cuboid hill you see your first goomba up close. It stares at a patch of nothing beside your foot for a moment before waddling off the way it came, leaving a trail of drool in its wake. You think it's somehow more brainless than the versions on the actual games.

>Roll some dice to prove your gaming prowess!
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>36425552
Wreck it
>>
>>36425552

>>36425556
>Rolled 16 (1d20)

A grin splays your face and you jump high into the air, gaining plenty of height to accelerate into the hapless blob below you.
You impact with it and it deforms and bursts like a ripe fruit, propelling you back up again.

You see a box approaching and give it a punch as it nears, shattering it into a pile of rubble. A great glowing coin pops out and you flick out, catching it before it falls only for it to melt into your outstretched grasp.

You shrug and hit the ground running, barreling towards another goomba. Hop, skip and a messy jump and it's no more, propelling you skywards to more boxes. You glance over your shoulder to find Ma casually following you, gliding on the breeze with her wings, a faintly bemused expression.
>>
>>36425657

No time like the present then. You touch down and charge at a cluster of goombas.

---

It's oddly zen-like. After the first quarter of an hour you just zoned out of what was going on, acting reflexively to your surroudings. Somewhere along the way you absorbed a flower and since then you've been tossing fireballs like it's nobodies business, goombas boiling and popping from the heat.

Your thoughts drift to Ma. She's been acting a lot more seriously ever since Legion pulled a fast one.
There was that moment when she saved Pa from being trapped along with us too...
You smile softly. She must remember more than she lets on if she's willing to go that far. Perhaps her mind is now a fusion of demon and the old Ma from before she died, uncertain about picking up the old life she has snatches of memory from...

You snap out of it as you realise that through the koopa you just tore apart you can see the flagpole only a few metres away.

"We're here Ma" you call over your shoulder, "hold me hand as I touch this. Gotta be sure we ain't separated."

She obliges and you reach out for the pole, your vision flashing to white the moment your fingertip makes contact.

As everything fades back into view you first notice the roar of traffic in your eyes, looking up to see a highway with rows of cars and lorries hurtling up and down it. You turn around to find only blackness behind you, pure and empty. You hurriedly turn back, it unnerves you too much and you don't want to dwell on what might happen if you touched it.

>(Cont.)
>>
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>>36425662

Only way is forward then. You take a hop forward-

Wait, hop? You look down and ogle your green appendages.
This makes things interesting.

Ma let's out a gurgling chuckle at your reaction and you turn to see she's also become a frog.
You ribbit your annoyance, cuffing her round the head with a webbed foot only for her to roll on the floor with mirth.

Pffsh, some amphibians.

What do?
>Roll to dodge traffic!
>Write-in?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>36425680
>Roll to dodge

Btw,
>The giant had great big ears and a penchant for strange vegetables and moreover would be very unlikely to try to harm you were you to succeed in your endeavours.
I, I think I LOVE you
>>
>>36425827
Thank you, thank you, I'm here all day...

Best of three rolls by the way, unless you enjoy being tarmac paint.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36425680
>Hope to god this isn't Megaman X
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>36425680
>Beat up the cars and throw them at other cars, we Battletoad now
>>
Fuck, Felicia isn't too good at making her way across city streets. Must be the farm inside her.
>>
>>36425680

You ain't got time to just sit and wait for flies to land in your mouth.
Gotta be much more proactive if you want a meal!

No, wait, if you want to get out of this godforsaken traversty you mean.

You flex your humongous thighs and try a few warm up leaps, flying into the air effortlessly.
You're not sure but you suspect you carried your athleticism with you when you became a frog. Being able to jump this high kinda trivialises this level.

Ma even still has her wings for crying out loud.

>>36425827
>Rolled 2 (1d20)

Your honour and fighting spirit demands a challenge however!
You flit to the curb with short hops, keeping low down as possible. You're pretty agile for something with webbed feet.
You wait a moment for a lull in the traffic and spring into action, frogger flippers flapping.
You make it into the second lane unscathed but theres a bulldozer blocking your path forward.
There's a whining to your right and you turn to see a blue sports car zipping your way, scrambling to face from it and leg it down the highway.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36425935

There's a squelch and you feel the curious sensation of seeing from two perspectives at once for the slightest instant before the shock vanishes and you look ahead at the highway again, realising you just respawned.
You can make out a crimson smear adorning the second lane through the gaps in the traffic.

>>36425867
>Rolled 5 (1d20)

As you fixate on it red seeps out across your vision. You're mad.
Fucking cars think they can fucking run you down?
YOU'LL SHOW THEM.
You ain't any old frog, you. You're a FIGHTAN MACHINE.
A BATTLETOAD.

You rear up on you hind legs and stride forward. If there's one thing this long-limbed form is good for it'll be kicking the ever-loving shit out of things.
You reach the roadside and lash out with a straight-kick, aiming to punt the red car into the lane beyond and cause the most wondrous pileup any world has ever seen.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36425953

It does not proceed according to plan alas.
You foot makes contact with the car but it refuses to budge even an inch.
And then you're left standing there, outstretched leg, as the next automobile hurtles into it, dragging you under.

Another moment of duality and you're back where you started.

Fuck those cars, bloody rigged game-world won't let shit happen.
Fuckit. You'll take glorious revenge through idly bypassing the shit out of this level, see who's laughing then.

>>36425859
>Rolled 9 (1d20)

You turn to see Ma sitting there, a slight smirk.
No doubt she's still sore about that beatdown you gave her yesterday.

You ribbit in her direction then turn to the road and sail across in a single bound, landing on the riverside.
Floating logs, some turtles, a crocodile... and there, more frogs jiggling on the far bank.
They look harmless enough and you can't see anything else to interact with in this claustrophic chamber.

Do you jump over the river to one of the frogs?
>Yes
>No
>Write-in
>>
>>36425991
Punch their friends for power-ups, then ask one of the frogs how their day is going
>>
>>36425991
>Yes
>Try and find out if they know how to get out of this hellhole.
>>
>>36425991

You idly wonder if beating them up will grow your powers but reckon it'd be best to try diplomacy first. You take the plunge, pouncing across the water to meet an orange frog, figuring he's sporting the most knowledgeable colour and thus best equipped to answer your questions.
Like how to leave this bloody hellhole.

Upon touchdown you face the frog but it completely ignores you.
You reach out to give it a nudge but upon contact it shatters into a polygons that fade away and three obnoxiously loud clicks echo through your head in rapid succesion.

Oh yeah. Frogger had a timer.
Better finish this off quickly then.

You vision fuzzes briefly and you're back at the start of the level.
You spring your legs into action and cross once more, landing on a different frog. Rinse repeat, one frog remaining.

Ma just swoops around like a funny shaped dragon but you croak out that she should be with you for this final froggy and she flicks you with her tongue.

You take that to mean she understands and hop over to the last red frog. Ma flicks you once more with her tongue and you reach back and hold it in place before poking the end of the level.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36426058

Everything fades to white once more before dissipating to reveal some kind of space station. It seems Legion has been working harder on this one, everything sports many more facets and a wider range of colours.

Used to this by now you check your appearance in and find yourself in some kinda garish spacesuit. One of your arms encased in a fancy looking cylinder. Curious.

You release Ma's tongue and she paws at it, making spitting noises. Giving her appearance a once over you find she looks pretty much like normal, only sporting longer claws and a vague draconic aesthetic.

"Shouldn't have eaten all those flies..." she bemoans and you chuckle at her plight.

Suddenly a siren blares out what can only be an emergency warning, you look around for the signs of danger but only catch the sight of a flashing light over one of the corridors leading from the chamber you're in.

>What do?
>>
>>36426071
>We Megaman Now. Or is it Metroid?

Head down the corridor, arm - cylinder raised in case we need it.
>>
>>36426071
>Fire into the darkness
>>
File: Felus.jpg (67 KB, 251x284)
67 KB
67 KB JPG
>>36426071

You rush over to the corridor with the warning lights and look down it. It turns a corner and you can't see what's beyond.
Welp, only one way to find out.

You glance back at your arm cylinder and wave it around a bit. Should make a pretty neat bludgeon.
Raising it to ready yourself for any surprises you beckon to Ma, calling out for her to follow you.

She wings across the room and the pair of you set off down the corridor in single file.

You reach the corner only to hear a dull thud from behind you, spinning to see the doorway filled with reinforced shutters.

"Shit, RUN MA!" and you sprint off round the corner and down the next passageway, blinking lights twinkling in the gloom. It's too narrow for Ma to spread her wings but you hear her keeping pace behind you, footfalls making clacking sounds as her claws meet metal.

The pair of you barrel out into another chamber, seemingly fallen into disrepair. The light from the corridor illuminates enough to tell you that it's big, ceiling and far wall out of sight. The door clicks shut behind you, Ma flicking her tail out in the nick of time.

The room hums gently, the blaring siren echoing distantly from the corridor. You hear a clang from the blackness in front of you and twitch your arms up into a fighting stance.

Much to your surprise the cylinder on your arm thrums as a brilliant glowing projectiles shoot from the tip in a burst.

Sweet, you've got some kinda arm-cannon!

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36426222

That clanking noise picks up again however and you focus on where it's coming from, a lamp on your helmet flaring up to illuminate your view.

You spot some kind of giant larva with dull yellow light pulsing across it. You're uncertain but you think it's more organic than machine? Ah well, they're all the same in the face of a arm-mounted laser gun.

Roll some dice
>Shoot the larva
>Get creative? (Write in)
>>
>>36426258
>Get creative
This is something best left unsuggested.

>Shoot the larva
>>
>>36426267
It's Kabbalah Quest though, things best left unsuggested get suggested all the time...

Who even suggested this quest in the first place?
>>
>>36426267
Oh, also roll some dice
>>
Rolled 2, 5, 4 = 11 (3d6)

>>36426285
We GURPS now
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36426295
I guess that only works if we have a TN, eh?
>>
>>36426295
>>36426350
Any and all dice welcome here
>>
>>36426258

>>36426295
>Rolled 2, 5, 4 = 11 (3d6)

You bring your cannon to bear and will it to fire by clenching the fist encased within. First burst goes wide, the bug's bloody quick on it's... feet? Caterpillar nubs?

Tossing the irrelevant thought from your mind you get back to shooting things, leading your target as you let loose the second volley.
You accurately predicted it's motion this time and the three shot burst strafes across it leave smoking craters in the carapace.

Aiming again you let loose again, landing a couple shots only to watch in amazement as the larva leaps from the floor, uncoiling into a humanoid figure that jumps through the air, successfully evading your final shot.

The creature lands and pivots on the spot, bring its own arm mounted weapon up and letting loose a spray of swift-moving electrical blasts in your direction. A couple catch your leg and your tense it against the stinging shock.

Sunnuvabitch is going down.
>>
>>36426463

>>36426350
>Rolled 9 (1d20)

You resort to what you know best, suplexing the shit out of things, and charge at it.
However, it holds its ground and it's arm cannon starts glowing at the end, rapidly building in intensity.

Suddenly it fires and without thinking you curve your body to the side to avoid it, leg still painfully aware of what the light version felt like.

The world twists unexpectedly and you think you've tripped, your vision goes dark and you tuck your knees in, only for a third person view to materialise in your head.

You... seem to have curled up into a ball, no, that's an understatement. You've become a perfect sphere and are rolling on the same path you were charging moments before.

That's... pretty neat, actually. You crash into the enemy, knocking him to his feet, before turning sharply to charge him again. Only to meet the sight of Ma having just torn it limb from limb. She flashes you a smile and you know she's loving showing off. Pffsh, can't take ALL the glory you suppose...

You slow down and try to disentangle yourself, somehow half managing and tumbling bodily across the floor. You thank the heavens that your spacesuit provides good shock protection.

Looking around the room with your headlight you only find a single tunnel, too small for Ma but just large enough for you to fit through if you curled up. Cons of being a dragon. Pointing the beam of illumination upwards you see the chamber extend indefinitely.

What do?
>Write-in suggestions
>>
>>36426477
>Tell Ma to hold tight and not become too draconic.
>Enter the tunnel
>>
>>36426477
>Tell Ma to fly up the chamber and see if there's anything worth shooting.
>>
>>36426477

"Alright Ma, hold tight for now. I'm gonna head down that tunnel, see where it winds up. You might as well fly up and see if there's another way out up there. I'll be back soon."

"Alright then, can't have everthing..." she huffs in reply.

"Hahah, that's what you get for being a winged creature of destruction. On that note, don't go TOO overboard on that side of things, ya hear?"

Ma chuckles her assent before leaping upwards, great wings beating strongly.

Welp, no time like the present.

You fling yourself into a ball again and scoot down the tunnel.

---

Shortly after you exit the tunnel. Surveying your surroundings you realise you were actually in some underground facility rather than a space station since you see bubbling magma dotted with barren rock around you, nestled in some canyon. There seems to be stairs and passageways carved into the cliff face.

>Roll a d20, best of three
>>
Rolled 20, 5, 9 = 34 (3d20)

>>36426563
>>
>>36426571
That'll do son, that'll do.
>>
>>36426563

>>36426571
>Rolled 20, 5, 9 = 34 (3d20)
>Your perception hasn't lost its touch since you scouted east of home the other day!

A flicker catches your eye and focus to see a red glint on one of those carved ledges.

Only one kinda person lurks like that, fucking snipers.

You roll to the side just in time to watch a giant red laser beam evaporate a chunk from the rocky spot you were standing on.

Yup, not standing still any time soon.

You snap your attention back to the sniper and start sprinting across the flats towards a starway leading up. The air shimmers and a spindly red figure suddenly starts running from the spot that the sniper was in. Hunh, some kinda camouflage? You mentally pat yourself on the back for noticing a camouflaged sniper mere instants after unfurling from the tunnel.

Wait, is that dude's head floating above its body?

Nevermind, priorities, it's just jumped off the cliff and is scrabbling towards you.

What do? Roll some dice
>Curl 'n' whirl, slamming into that will shatter it for sure!
>Ohgod, it's like a three legged spider, shoot it shoot it!
>>
Rolled 7, 3, 6, 1, 9, 10, 5, 6, 8, 5 = 60 (10d10)

>>36426677
We DOOM now.

>Curl 'n' whirl, slamming into that will shatter it for sure!
>>
Rolled 29, 39 = 68 (2d100)

>>36426677
>Curl 'n' whirl, slamming into that will shatter it for sure!
>>
>>36426708
>average 34
You tried.
>>
>>36426677

>>36426694
>Rolled 7, 3, 6, 1, 9, 10, 5, 6, 8, 5 = 60 (10d10)
>Using 7, 3, 6, 1, 9, 10, cba to write for all of them

Hahah, with those toothpicks for limbs it's gonna be in for a rough time when you make contact!

You jump into your ball-form and zoom across to meet this sneaking asshat, crashing into it with a bang, chipping it's... carapace? It lashes out with one of it's talons and scores a hit but it doesn't scrape deep enough to do more than superficial damage.

You roll around, taking it wide to build speed for a second slam, turning back however the sniper's disappeared from sight and you're moving too fast to make out it's camouflaged form.

Suddenly you catch movement in your peripheral and you spin to catch the bastard leaping up from his position, revolving through a whole 360degrees before sending another crimson beam your way.

It catches you as your roll past, a searing pain flashing through your shoulder.

Well NOW you're MAD.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36426867

You fly towards him and unfurl slightly, reaching out and grasping the floor with your hand you catapult the rest of your tightly wound armoured form right at the sniper, gleefully watching its single red hole widen in surprise.

With a tremendous SLAM you impact, knocking it flying, and whilst you sail through the air you fully uncurl and grasp that floating head of its and smash it into the floor like a professional basketballer scoring a slamdunk.

You look up to see the torso stagger twitchily before collapsing in a heap.

You get to your feet and start walking back towards to tunnel to report in to Ma.

>Roll a d20, best of three
>>
Rolled 5, 9, 3 = 17 (3d20)

>>36426880
Rolling for this to turn into Age of Empires next.
>>
>>36426894
I'm afraid I never owned that game, I got my childhood RTS fix with AoM...
>>
>>36426880
>>
>>36426928
>
You tried.
>>
Rolled 10, 1, 1 = 12 (3d20)

>>36426940
>>36426928
Well shit.
>>
>>36426880

>>36426894
>Rolled 5, 9, 3 = 17 (3d20)
>Rolled 9

Wait. Something's off.
Yes, that's it, that bug guy disintegrated when Ma killed him.

You suddenly whirl around and a laser beam skims your elbow.
Fuck that hurts.

You look over to see it standing again, head wobbling at a slight angle.

You snap your arm-cannon up and let off a burst which meets the target.
It finally enters its death throes, stumbling forward as it begins to dissipate.

Wait what? It's just frozen mid-fall, slightly translucent but not fading.

What do?
>Shoot it some more
>Give it a prod
>Other? (Write-in)
>>
>>36426971
Today is just not my day.

>>36426973
>Give it a prod
>>
>>36426971
Heavens above man, be glad you rolled late.
How can one man be so unlucky?
>>
>>36426973
>Give it a prod.
>>
>>36426973

You stride over with tentative steps but it remains motionless. Standing beside it you wave a hand in front of its face, still no reaction.

Well, here goes nothing, you think reaching out to poke it.

At first you're not sure you actually touched it because your fingers meet no resistance, but plunging your hand through its face confirms that you're certainly occupying the same space it does.

You let your hand fall to your side in bewilderment and it leaves a trace through the air. Your vision seems a little fuzzy.
You're starting to get a bad feeling about this and snap your head round with a sudden surge of paranoia.

Your whole view melts into nonsense, rocky outcrops streaking across, shapes and colours bleeding into each other. Black cracks are forming in the sky, their stark sharpness contrasting with the blurred mess that is the world. You close your eyes and reopen them, which fortunately serves to wipe the traces that built up, keeping your head as still as you can manage you watch the scene unfold. Segments of the land start flickering in and out of existence before vanishing entirely, a gaping hole in the sky showing nothing but pure emptiness. A boulder on your peripheral vanishes into blackness, you rotate your head and blink and watch in horror as it expands around you, your arm cannon melting away as it washes over you and then you're tumbling down through the void. Gut-wrenchingly stationary. You close your eyes but no longer feel the sensation of your eyelids meeting. You panic and clasp your hands to your chest but they are devoid of feeling. Or is it that they no longer exist?

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36427271
That motherfucker pressed the reset button, didn't he?
>>
>>36427271

Do YOU exist?

You're thinking right now aren't you? That's got to be proof of some degree of corporeality even if your sense are blind, your body as insubstantial as a hole in the ground at night.

But are you thinking? What are you thinking? What relation do your thoughts have on your being? Are you merely the shadow of a consciousness plastered across the expanse of infinity? How long have you even been like this?

What if the real you never ended up here, merely warping to some other place and time, never knowing that the act created you, a set of cyclic thought patterns trying to seek what meaning there is to an existence that experiences nothing?

You cast your mind back to when you remember things, starting simple would be best, nothing too taxing for your wavering mind to hold in place, you work at dragging the notion of shapes across the timeless expanse, yes, a circle, that's a good place to start. A simply one sided geometric shape, with perfect symmetry.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36427307

You've always like circles. Ooh, and it's getting larger too...

It's a bright slate colour, ever so bright and vivid, pooling towards in a widening form, and now it's tracing a web of spirals across it's surface, that's impressive, you weren't expecting to advance that far so soon or has it been forever, nevermind, and now a dull red has erupted on the surface like a fountain of ink has been spilled and it washes over it and what's that roaring sound you're hearing now? It's rushing in your ears and oh my more colours, how they spread and whirl and dance...

And you feel the wind in your hair now, wait, hair? Then that means...

You quickly bring your hands up and delight as you see them before you, pressing them together as you soak in the sensation of physicality once more, wrapping your arms around and you curl up and tightly embrace yourself, straining to feel your existence more and more and now you look back to that ever-widening circle and note that you can pick out details on it and there's a backdrop rather than blackness, a twilit starry sky...

>(Cont. Still writing next part, sorry for lengthy update)
>>
>>36427315
S'fine, I'm enjoying it. (Even if no one else is here...)
>>
>>36427315

The circle suddenly gets very large very quickly and before you're aware of the implications you impact with it.

It's painful but the pain reminds you you're alive and real and is strangely comforting. You laugh the laugh of relief, tears pooling down your cheeks, and slowly prop yourself up.

"Aahhhh... The main guest arrives..." echoes a familiar voice, "You made it through my world faster than I had imagined, I hadn't planned it far enough ahead... Seems that final area crashed after you killed its final resident."

You sit up and cast your eyes around. You're on what appears to be a wide pillar, surrounded by the night sky. Legion is nowhere to be seen. You notice that you're finally back to your normal outfit.

"Now, I hadn't quite finished setting up this final stage for you either, but what's here shall suffice. Just a few final touches..."

As he says this floating lights flare into being in a ring around the pillar.

"...and naturally a soundtrack..."

Grinding chiptune blares out a hurried and somewhat simplistic rhythmn, it's harsh on the ears and the occasional note sounds wrong. Wincing you pick yourself off the floor, swaying slightly.

"...and finally US."

The space infront of you distorts and Legion appears, decked out in a similar outfit as before only with extra embellishments, flashing lights, trailing wires and the like. Still tasteless.

You shut your eyes, and shake your head, dispelling the traces of your trip through the void. Fucking nerd can't even make a bug free game and you obviously manage to find it and slip through the cracks in this world.

With a relaxed sigh you open you eyes and fix him with a look of malice.

What do?
>Write-in some banter
>Write-in some whoopass
etc
>>
>>36427535
>"You suck even more at making video games than playing them, and you suck at playing them pretty damn hard."
>Suplex that fucker.
>>
Also, I'm gonna disappear for 10 mins or so whilst I make pasta and think up bossfight
>>
>>36427535

"Dude, you suck even more at making video games than playing them, and you suck at playing them pretty damn hard."

"Hahah, your insults are as pathetic as you are! You've seen firsthand our prowess at Mario yet you deny it? No matter, bask in your delusion - it will help numb the pain you're about to recieve!"

With that you just flip him the bird and charge.

"Soup's up!" you roar as you heft him over you in preparation to suplex him.

There is a crackle of static and you lose your balance in the absence of the weight you were holding, flailing momentarily before steadying yourself.
The crackle comes again from behind and you spin, raising an arm to block the blow, lashing out with the other only meet thin air as he vanishes again.

"Impressive" his voice rings out "But blocking can only delay your demise, what do you hope to do against that which you cannot hit?"

>What do?

Sorry about that, got unexpectedly delayed
>>
>>36428706
>Time to call in the Baby Jesus' favor.
>>
>>36428706

Welp, this is about as good a time as any to call in that favour from our Lord and Saviour Baby Jesus. You were planning to hold out on it for getting Ma back on form but it looks like she's making progress on her own anyway.

"Dear Baby Jesus..." you begin to recite the litany, with the fervour of a nun.

"Absolute and all knowing Baby Jesus,
Nothing is hidden from Your Dick..."

Crackle, block, roll...

"...Permitting my soul to understand it,
And wisdom to agree with its outcome..."

"HAH, you seek the Lord's gifts here?! Do you KNOW where you are?!" bleats the demons, throwing their head back and laughing.

"...To ensure the fulfillment of Your Ejaculation.
Your Red Tasty Head shines forth forever!" you finish, ducking another swing from Legion that was wide from mirth.

You stand expectantly, waiting for the divine blessing to be bestowed upon you. Legion for his part is doubled up as he watches you from across the arena. Feeling a little foolish now, you call out "Jesus?" but only silence persists. Well, blaring shitty bossfight music and divine silence.

You feel the heat rising in your cheeks, and look away from Legion who's begun wheezing. Guess whereever this pocket dimension is it's beyond Jesus' domain.

Nothing else for it then. You'll just have to curbstomp this tool under your own steam.

>Any cunning plans?
>>
>>36428887
Act more righteous, distract him further. Then a proper curbstomp.
>>
>>36428887
Baby Jesus' power didn't work? What unrighteous blasphemy is this?
Fuck it, we'll just have to be our own Baby Jesus.
>>
>>36428887

You decide that if you continue to act righteous you can use his laughing incapacitation to lay down the pain.

"Our Father, who art in the sky above skies..." you intone, lightly striding forward to Legion's madly giggling recumbent form.

You continue preaching wordy nonsense, not like the demons would recognise you making it up by now, and once you get within a few paces you charge like Ole Grumpin, leaping forward through the air coming down elbow first onto the cackling mess.

It connects with a brittle crunching noise, a screeched out curse in the many voiced wilting harmonics, and a crackle as Legion subsequently vanishes.

Boy that was satisfying.

He reappears hovering out of reach in the sky, casting down the filthiest of looks at you.
"You will regret that." he snarls simply, throwing his arms back and howling. The plastic gauntlets light up, neon spikes jutting out with sliding static and circuit designs running across his body flare bright. He slaps his hands together, pulling back with a glowing strand connecting the two, pulsing with electricity. He gives a tug and the strand snaps in the middle, each half flourishing into long whips.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36429295

Things certainly got a lot more interesting.

He buzzes out and you whirl in anticipation to see he emerge in front of you, jumping back to avoid the flick of lightning headed for you.
Something crashes into your back knocking you to the floor, you roll and see that Legion had been behind you. He raises his arm to swing the whip this time and you hear a buzz from the other direction, lunging to one side as another whipstrike appears from behind you again.

Shit. He's making copies of himself.

You twirl in desperation as more Legions flare into existence, cold fury in their eyes. You note that each of them sport a slightly cracked headpiece from your elbow strike. The air thrums with electricity as it arcs between whips and to the floor, neon flashing on their outfits.

This is not good.

You realise you're going to have to get creative if you want to survive the onslaught and you cast your mind over it, thinking of potential flaws. So far you've ascertained that he's both uninspired and sloppy when it comes to making games. Perhaps there's some flaw with the current design he has running, maybe some universal element he's overlooked in his neglect?

>Write-in suggestions
>>
>>36429317
ABORT MISSION ABORT MISSION
>Become Yumi
>>
>>36429317
Clip through the floor. Gain ability to fly and fuck with hitboxes.
>>
>>36429317
>Konami Code
>>
>>36429317

Of course. The universal cheat code. You empty your mind in preparation for whatever happens next, cementing the thought that you are real, are alive, no matter what it might be like in the void. You don't want to chance being lost again.

"UP, UP!" you shout out, "DOWN, DOWN!"

The eyebrow of the Legion clone you're facing rises slightly and you cartwheel to avoid the lashes from their whips. A dull throbbing starts on your forehead.

"LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT!"

Duck, lash out, roll, jump... The throbbing has intensified and spread across your scalp and shoulders, winding down your spine.

"B!" you bellow.

...backwards flip into a grab, punch once then roll... The throbbing flares into a shooting pain of white fire, as if your skin is ready to boil and burst. You grit your teeth and steel yourself for the final shout. You've come too far to fall now... The dozen Legions are closing in, you've lost the gaps you were making from the distraction of the pain.

Now or never.

>(Cont.)
>>
>>36429651

"A!" you roar.

Your vision flicks to white as the stabbing pain shoots to a moment of all consuming searing agony. You feel your bones grinding and twisting, sinews knitting, musculature splaying over the frame. Horns piercing your temples.

Your vision snaps back and the pain is gone, a residual numb tingling washes through you and you gaze around to see the Legions sprawled across the pillar, a couple unmoving. You stretch to try to clear away the tingling and unfurl your wings, tail cracking at the air. You reach a hand up and feel the horns that have protruded from your head. You flex a fist and relish in the boundless energy that roils within you.

An instant later a crack forms in the air and your Ma tumbles through, draconic appearance evaporating as she reverts to her original self.

She looks over to you, eyes widening in surprise as she takes in your shape.

What do you say to her?
>Write-in
>>
>>36429677
"Fuck. I guess I am the demons now."
>>
>>36429677
Now, when you say 'original self', do you mean "Bubzi" or "Darla"?
Either way, best thing to do would be to find out how to get back to the real world.
>>
>>36429700
I'd assume they mean Bubzi.
>>
>>36429700
Sorry, I meant original self as in the being she was just prior to entering this pocket dimension. So, in appearance, Bubzi.
>>
>>36429677
>What do you say to her?
"Ay bby, u wan sum fk?"
>>
>>36429685
I'll second this
>>
>>36429685
And then Fel was a Zombie.
>>
>>36429685

"Fuck. I guess I am the demons now." you shrug apologetically, though you're not sure it's really something that'd bother Ma.

"Hey, it's not so bad" she replies, rushing over and clasping you to her, wings wrapping round you.

"Well, I've always wanted to fly, so... future's gonna be breezy."

"How did it happen though? This place is completely sealed off from Heaven and Hell, there's no way you could fallen the usual way." she says as she breaks off the hug, concerned mingling with bemused expression playing across her face.

"I, uh, shouted the Konami cheat code very loudly."

"Cheat code?"

"Oh, forgot you wouldn't be familiar with it, it's something programmed into a lot of games that activates something hidden. Figured shitbrain here would have accidentally incorporated it when he stole from all those games."

"Ah, I see now. I had suspicions when you were collecting those coins back at the start but nothing seemed to come of it at the time. They were imbuing you with demonic energy. You know I said that only demons can change this place through their will? Well when you tried to activate that cheat code, that's what you were doing, and it drew upon that latent demonic energy, changing you in the process. I know I said that you needed a cohesive group of demons to will alterations to this reality but in actuality you just need a very strong will. Most demons are too apathetic to manage it individually."

"That... actually sounds like a reasonable explanation... Shoulda mentioned the whole absorbing demonic energy thing though, thanks a lot. Anyway, why aren't we outta here yet?"

"IT'S SIMPLE. LEGION ISN'T FINISHED YET." grates the multifacted voice of your brother's possessors.

The shitty music kicks it up a notch. Looks like it's time for round two.

What do?
>Ma and daughter tag team!
>Flex your new prowess!
>Write-in
>>
Hopefully that dialogue wasn't too contrived

Also major kudos to the guy who suggested the Konami code, it's what I had in mind when building up to this
>>
>>36429893
>Ma and daughter tag team!
>Flex your new prowess!
Why not both?
>>
>>36429916
I just couldn't think of multiple options
>>
>>36429893
>Ma and daughter tag team!
Hahahaha time for tag team wrestling!
>>
>>36429893
We can flex our "prowess" when "tag teaming" that naughty brother of ours
>>
>>36429941
We managed 17 hours once, and damn if we aren't going to try and beat that record!
>>
>>36429941
And let the demons win? Hell no
>>
>>36429960
Actually, we already have. 1 more hour and we'll have gone a whole day! Though there were regular periods of inactivity.
>>
>>36429969
Haven't you read the previous threads? Rape is purifying!
>>
>>36429998
There is different kinds of rape anon,That kind of rape is the demons winning rape
>>
>>36429969
Sex can be used for either good or evil in Kabbalah Quest. Or neutral, I guess, like Kraghammer.

But when everyone involved is the demons, no good can come of it.
>>
>>36429344
Shut up yumifag
>>
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329 KB PNG
>>36430040
>not liking Yumi
>>
>>36430040
In my defense, that was mostly a joke. Still, what's wrong with Yumi?
>>
File: 1417008382865.png (34 KB, 420x294)
34 KB
34 KB PNG
>>36430057
>>
>>36430057
Son...

>>36430080
fanbase is shit. Plus not Shironeko
>>
>>36430110
>>36430095
>>36430080
>>36430057
Waifu wars?
Kabbalah Quest has truly become a quest of its own right.
>>
>>36430133
Punch is best waifu.

Imouto a shit
>>
>>36430157
Imouto did nothing wrong
>>
>>36430157
>Punch best waifu
My nigga

...anyone know where Ninnius has scarpered off to, by the way?
>>
>>36430182
Probably writing, since longer updates take more time.
Plus QMs have wildly varying writing times, depending mostly on quality.

It's why mine take so little time, kekekekeke
>>
>>36430182
>Expecting me to update at a reasonable pace
I scoff at your willfull self-delusions
I was in Paintland
>>
>>36430200
80% of my update time was shitty MSpaint drawings.
>>
>>36430221
But they weren't that shitty and actually had wonderful character... Editing Fel's has been great fun
>>
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>>36430239
T-thanks anon.
>>
>>36430263
I KNEW your drawing style was familiar!
You bastard, you never finished Lorwyn Quest!
>>
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>>36430300
I.. uh...
>Abscond
>>
>>36430317
GET THE FUCK BACK HERE YOU!
>>
>>36430317
Colfenooooorr!!
>>
>>36429893

As most of the Legions push themselves to their feet you turn to Ma and meet her look, mutual grins flashing.

"He always was a naughty child."
"Really?" Ma asks.
"No, actually, he was oddly obedient and quiet. NONETHELESS, I wanted to quip something and that seemed appropriately for a brief moment."

And with that the two of you stood back to back, or as close as you could manage without tangling your wings, and the Legions pour in at you, crackling neon and dancing electricity.

The pair of you jump into the air as the whips crack the dust where you were momentarily before, crashing down onto a Legion each, ripping them to shreds. You don't actually have talons but you never skipped finger day and by this point they're just as deadly.

You both then take the opponents on your lefts, tearing them asunder before spinning and landing a kick to the right which shattered another clone. Six down, three remaining.

"I'll take that Bastard!" Ma calls, pointing at the unfortunate individual.
"Yeah? Well then this Asshole's mine!" you reply, charging into another, gouging it with your horns. Feels out to be the one gouging for a change.

>(Cont.)
>>
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>>36430464

You spin and high five, before marching on the remaining One True Legion.

"Erm, we can talk this out, right?" he tremors as you near, steely glint flashing in your eyes.
"Actually, nevermind, I'm fucking out of here" stammers the last demon from the throng that has possessed Bigg, its scampish form falling out of him and turning to flee. Bigg slumps to the floor and you run over to him, Ma joining your side.

The distant stary sky fractures into tessellating polygons which begin to fall to the floor, Bigg's bedroom visible through the gaps. They rain down, shattering on the floor and dissipating and that godawful music finally abates.

"Felicity?" you hear Pa call from behind you, standing just outside the doorway, "You seem to have wings. And horns. And a tail." he chokes out.

"Don't worry Pa, it's still me" you soothe, and he rushes into the room to scoop you all into a hug.

Bigg stirs at this, blinking open his eyes, the gaudy plastic attire gone with the pocket dimension, only a battered pair of controllers remaining by his side.

Everyone turns and fixes him with an impatient gaze.

>END OF CHAPTER THREE AND A HALF
>>
>>36430524
And with that cliffhanger I pass on to the next QM.

Are we going to pick up Yumi's storyline at this point?
>>
>>36430524
(Actually, chapter 3 was Kraghammer. This is 4)
Time for an intermission quest, just a few posts, before Chapter Four continues.
>>
>>36430558
Maybe see what's up elsewhere in the world?
Yumi is already top dog in power and would cause some conflict.
>>
>>36430561
Well, before we followed Felicity's story Chapter 3 had been finished and someone had just announced Chapter 4 as a continuation of Yumi's line, so this one was dubbed Chapter 3.5

>>36430590
Nah, she only wrecked so much face because she was possessed by an elder god which has since been purged. Not sure where her powerlevel sits in relation to the Heavenly Six now but I doubt she's top dog.
>>
>>36430617
Not top compared to them, but compared to the rest of the world.
>>
>>36430590
Yumi seems to be below Punch Rockgroin and her angelic host. Actually, we don't know what happened to her after she was purified, do we?
>>
>>36430633
Ah, gotcha

>>36430640
As far as I remember that arc ended with Yumi thanking Krag as he ASScended.
>>
>>36430665
Seems like an unresolved storyline to me! And I ain't having that.
Inb4 waifu shitstorm. Please don't.

You are Yumi Kuroneko
Your butt kind of hurts.
Kraghammer - your assailant, your savior, has burst out of the ceiling in a display of fabulousness and shota strenth, headed towards Assgard, for his own eternity.
But what will yours be?

"You will think about it, then?" Queen Saint Punch Rockgroin stands before you, looking serene in her immaculate wifebeater.

"Yes, I'll think about it. That's not a no, but it's not a yes either."

"I understand." The Queen of New Heaven nods, returning to her throne.

What next for you then, redeemed cyborg loli assmaster?

>Accept her offer, it didn't take long to think about.
>Set out, maverick style, to find your path
>Deny her offer, a life in heaven isn't right for you.
>Write in
>>
>>36430939
>assailant
>ass
I sniggered
>>
>>36430961
>sniggered
>nigger
I chortled.
>>
>>36430939
>Set out, maverick style, to find your path
>>
>>36430939
>Set out, maverick style, to find your path
>Seek to find more about those elder gods, if they corrupted us they could corrupt more people
need to stop them!


>>36430617

1st Elder Gods
2nd Baby Jesus
3rd Saten
4th Assdin
5th Butthor
MINIGAP
19th Asscended Krag
POWERGAP
25th Temporarily Buffed Angel Krag
26th Corrupted Yumi
27th Angel Punch
28th Angel Slab
29th Angel Imouto
30th Angel Yumi / Demon King Slab
31str Angel Krag
32nd Angel Elf Queen
POWER GAP
50th Krag
51st Fabulous Vampire Slab
52nd Daemonic Felicia
POWER GAP
69th Felicia & Bigg
POWER GAP
192nd Angel Devon
>>
>>36430978
>chortled
>choed
I giggled
>>
>>36430996
>0th Communist Felicia

>>36431004
>giggled
>igg
ISHYGDIGGYT

Alright, writing for Maverick style.
>>
>>36430524
Hey, it'd be a good time to use that favor on ourself and mother. Baby Jesus is a generous person to those he likes. Or maybe it's best to use his favor to defend the town from that big-ass demon horde.

Hey, what if Yumi has a flaming katana and is a demon-hunting cybernetic archangel? Those hordes better watch out!

Also, I really want her to fight Kraghammer the next time she comes into contact with him. While she is no longer a force of Vengeance, she is one of Justice, I think.
>>
>>36430939
>Set out, maverick style, to find your path
>>
>>36430996
>69th Felicia & Bigg
Whew, they was ranking pretty darn high from the start then. I guess that's what happens when you character starts by rolling a nat 20 for wressling a bull

>>36431027
>use that favor on ourself and mother
But Fel hasn't even experienced flying yet, Anon! As for defending the town, Bubzi's demon army got wiped. It's possible that there are still others roaming and headed it's way but with the reunited Hardon clan and some recent character-building events I don't think they'd struggle too much to quell anything on their own steam. Ma is essentially as strong as any rival Demon Captains afterall

As for Yumi's katana, if we don't have one tucked inside our forearms by default in the next few updates we can always seek out the cybernetics facility and upgrade ourself
>>
>>36431117
Well their dad was a super hero and their mother was a futa so they gotta be good
>>
>>36431117
I'm still fucking happy that i started that RUSSIA STRONK by rolling a nat 20 on eating the raw meat
>>
>>36431117
She has white and golden holy robot parts now, I'm guessing they're made of some self-altering material
>>
>>36431141
Casting my mind back over the last arc, there were a LOT of nat 20's in general. Two for perception and I'm sure there was at least another one.

>>36431136
Was the super hero dad ever confirmed by a QM? I can't remember if it got past just speculation by anons. There was the alternate suggestion that Fel was descended from Lenin
>>
>>36431176
He was wearing a cape, cowboy hat and mask to go look for the noise
>>
>>36431172
>self-altering material
Unless it's also self-folding she's gonna need to nip back across the pacific if she wants a REAL flaming katana

>>36431196
I thought that was when he was making bedroom eyes at Ma, but then again I remember being completely wrong about the implications of the syrup trail, so...
>>
>>36431176
I wrote him as "Texan Kamen Rider" or something like that, though I still need to get around to watching one of those.
>>
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>>36431027
Yumi has an electrified katana, in fact. And for now, she doesn't know what the hell she's doing with it.

>>36431176
Lenin IS a superhero. You think that's his actual corpse on display?

>Set out, maverick style, to find your path

You don't really know WHAT you want to with your life at this point. Up until now, you'd been consumed by duty, then by vengeance, then by giant angel dicks.

But you're not going to find your destiny or whatever hanging around here. You use the goddamn door like a civilized person and exit the tower. Soaring above the coast of New Heaven with your rockets and your new wings, you ponder your next move.

>Head back to Japan and try to rejoin the army.
>Go demon hunting.
>Try and find Assgard
>Write in
>>
>>36431117
Archangels all get flaming swords, I think.
>>
>>36431254
>>Write in
Try to find anyone who knows about the elder gods or the corruption
>>
>>36431254
>Go demon hunting.
>>
>>36431254
>Go demon hunting.
Yumi is a good girl.
>>
>>36431254
>Head back to Japan and try to rejoin the army.
>Realise we're too freaky for them
>>
>>36431254
>Head back to the cybernetic facility that rebuilt you and find out if they had anything to do with the poor mental integrity shielding that let an elder god possess you
>>
>mfw I'm the only one who wants to fight cthulhu
>>
>>36431254
>Go to Japan and say that you're the daughter of Heaven and that you should be Empress
>>
>>36431307
Infiltrated cultists obviously
>>
>>36431319
And thus from there we follow the trail back to ole tenctaclechops hisself.
>>
>>36431337
>>36431254

Alright I'm supporting your idea.
>>
>>36431308
Patience, a demon might know something about those creepy crawlies.

Besides, does anyone remember the country we crash-landed into that time we got possessed?
>>
>>36431381
Ireland
>>
>>36431381
Ireland.

Damn you got a clue
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>Demon hunting: 2
>Head back to Japan and try to find out about that old one who possessed you: 2.
Well, looks like it's a coin flip then. 1 = demons, 2 = cthulhu
>>
>>36431397
It's leprechauns and faeries responsible then? They always seemed sinister sure, but tentacle sinister? Whole new level.

THAT REMINDS ME - we never fought Prime 2 did we?
>>
>>36431424
Prime 2 and Prime 13 are still unaccounted for, yes.
>>36431418
Time to fuck up some demons, then.
>>
>>36431441
The tentacle beast and the Unlucky One are still at large, hm...
>>
>Go demon hunting

You may not be a servant of Heaven, but you're still definitely an enemy of Hell. Ever since New Heaven rose and Demon King Slab Bulkhead was purified, his serviles have been swarming across the nation aimlessly, causing chaos, rape and destruction everywhere they go. As is usual for demons.

The largest horde in Texas is that of Captain Bubzi, but rumor has it an even larger demonhost is running through Mexico under the leadership of "Mad-eye Juarez".

>Head to Texas and fuck up Bubzi
>Head to Mexico and fuck up Juarez
>Head somewhere else and fuck up someone else (Write in)
>>
>>36431509
>Head somewhere else and fuck up someone else.

Head to Antartica and see what's up
>>
>>36431509
>Head to Mexico and fuck up Juarez
Gotta get some nachos
>>
>>36431509
Make your way over to New Dublin, a new settlement built upon the bones of New York by mutants. They might know something about Elder Gods, and you get to kill any demons you'll run into.
>>
>>36431509
>Head to Mexico and fuck up Juarez
Mexico is shitty enough without demons running amok
>>
>>36431574
This
>>
Mexico it is, because as far as I'm aware the East Coast was obliterated by the rise of New Hell.

>Head to Mexico and fuck up Juarez

Bubzi is small time shit compared to what you want to do. If you're going to find your path, you want to work for it, you gotta get the big time!

With a silent scream of your rockets, you fly towards Mexico. Your wings splay brilliantly behind you, reflecting the afternoon sun. You couldn't tell, but you think you broke the sound barrier at one point (thanks glorious Nippon engineering! thanks Baby Jesus!)

On the horizon, you see the Mexican coast. Damn, it was like twenty minutes, you must be going super fast. Powering down your engines, you descend to the coastline.

You were going a good deal faster than you thought. The roof of the boathouse splinters and falls with a loud crash, and you plunge into the shallow water with the force of a small SUV.

Picking yourself and dusting yourself off, you thank glorious nippon for developing such protective metal. And a quick thanks to the Baby Jesus, of course.

Only as you're wading out of the water do you hear shouting. A small Mexican man is yelling at you, oar in his hand. Damn, if only you'd learnt Spanish.

What now?
>>
>>36431917
>Recalibrate our being to incorporate glorious nippons auto-dubber. The designs should be accessible from the internet with our old jetforce id
>>
>>36431917
Fuck, Krag stole our JSDF Dubber, and people's heads are going to explode when we talk. See if we can find him some fish real quick and go eat with his family.
>>
>>36431917
Angels have the gift of tongues.

Use it
>>
>>36431917
Seconding >>36431971
>>
>>36432011
She's not actually an angel, just blessed. Only if she joins the Heavenly Six would she be evangelized.

You remember that, like all Japanese citizens, you have a built in government-approved dubber!
Switching it on in a very indecent process, you turn back to the man and address him.

"Aiya ettelëa, mana osto nás?"
Wait, shit, that's Quenya. You want Spanish.

"Hey, do you know where I am exactly? Oh, sorry about the roof, by the way..."

He's shouting a little less now, and puts down the oar.
"You're in Acameza, little girl. And I'm sure a person wearing such fancy armor will be able to pay for the repairs, yes?"

It dawns on you that you don't actually have any money on your person.

What do you do?
>>
>>36432189
>Scoff. Then apologise and ask about demons. Then leave
>>
>>36432189
Is casual murder acceptable with Baby Jesus? I don't think it stopped Punch or Slab from ascending but then again, Punch primarily fought in wars beforehand and Slab didn't really kill many innocents. Indeed, I can't think of an occasion when he did
>>
>>36432189
>Please, allow me to repay you by fixing your roof and helping you fish. Also, there are demons in this land. Have you heard anything about them?

Yumi is a cyborg, that's why she has a dubber. Your regular Japanese citizen is just a less-endowed human.
>>
>>36432189
>She's not actually an angel, just blessed.
Angels don't need to follow the lord
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>36432248
>Implying Robo-Hirohito didn't make sure every citizen had a dubber so his empire could more easily assimilate the other nations.
>>36432256
Oh yeah, definitely. But she just never became an angel to begin with.

I guess I'll flip, then. 1 = >>36432215, 2 = >>36432248.
>>
>>36432295
>mfw
From Thread 3:
-----------------------------------------------
"Imouto." the only word the Queen says silences the Imouto

"You are both angels now. Blessed by our lord, Baby Jesus. So I suppose you two can have a place with us, if you so desire"

---------------------------------------

Source: wrote it
>>
>>36432334
Granted, you are an angel now.
Looks like scoffing it is.
>>
>>36432334
Elevicus you shitlord, are you going to deny this QM's headcanon?
>>
>>36432356
I'm just pointing it out.
He can change it if he wants.

Such is the way of Kabbalah
>>
>>36432295
Why would her helmet have a dubber in it then? Wouldn't a loudspeaker suffice if they could all speak any language? Just go with the "Yumi's special because she's a cyborg" angle and stop retconning, please.
>>
>>36432428
Calm down bro
>>
You scoff at the boatman's implication. Perhaps a bit more audibly than you would have liked, as his expression sours.

"Oh, sorry about that. I'll have the funds delivered to you by week's end, my suppliers can handle this stuff." you lie.

"Before I go, though, have you heard anything about... demons, by chance?"

The man, still rather unhappy with your destruction, ponders the question. "Mmm.. no, haven't seen any demons or anything. Heard they were out there, though. But lots of rumors like that run through a small town like this. Don't put much faith in it."

Well, obviously Juarez hasn't been through here. Where next?

>New Mexico City, capital of the remaining country of Mexico.
>New Tenochtitlan (old Mexico City), a major city and trading center in the Mesoamerican Federation.
>The Mexico - Texas border
>Go somewhere else in Mexico.
>>
>>36432451
Sorry. But she is an Angel now, also.
>>
>>36432428
>stop retconning
Welcome to Kabbalah Quest. This is my swamp now.
>>
>>36432471
>Sorry. But she is an Angel now, also.
True enough

>>36432487
be careful with big things because it can backfire horribly.
You know how quests are
>>
>>36432487
That just means you decide the future, not the past.
>>
>>36432516
Most quests would probably collapse at the most minor of unwarranted retcons. But Kabbalah quest perseveres. Hell, Fel's history was rewritten at least 3 times.
>>
>>36432539
True, but even a quest like this can have shitstorms if you hit it with a hard enough stick.
>>
>>36432539
Huh? When?
>>
>>36432535
Goodness man, it's hardly worth worrying about. I actually like the change, and the end result is the same - Yumi has an innate dubber to use for any language.
>>
>>36432561
First she was just born to a futa mom and a regular pa. Then she was the descendant of Lenin. Then the Lenin thing was implanted memories from a Russian drug, and her father was a superhero.
>>
>>36432575
Then why did her helmet have one? That's a waste of taxpayer's money.
>>
>>36432597
I thought her mom defected?
>>
>>36432598
Redundancy is important in such high-technology.
>>
>>36432597
That isn't rewriting anything, it's just adding to what's already there.
>>
Looks like I'll be stepping out for a few hours. Thanksgiving Dinner and all.

See you all later, then. If someone wants to QM in the meantime, feel free.
>>
>>36432641
Don't feel bad about the crap, mate.
Good job, have a nice dinner. See you around
>>
>>36432598
It's japan
>>
>>36432618
Grrruuuhhhh! Okay, then.

The border seems like it'll be a No-Man's-Land, so we should head over to
>New Tenochtitlan (old Mexico City), a major city and trading center in the Mesoamerican Federation.
I don't trust Mexican regimes, even if they're new. A trader's hub seems like it'll have more honest people in it.
>>
>Damn, if only you'd learnt Spanish.
Why would she think that if all of her race has no problem with foreign languages? This is some inconsistent logic. just say it's because she got a cybernetic implant already
>>
>>36432771
Goddamn man, if you want something changed become QM and put it to a vote. If you can't be bothered to actually write and advance the plot, stop acting like the other QMs should institute your preferences for you.
>>
Anywant wants to QM?
>>
>>36432771
>sperging this hard about something inconsequential
You're the only person who gives a shit, now shut the fuck up.
>>
Aaaanyway, I just popped back from a 20min nap to say that I'm still falling asleep.

May it never die, gnight
>>
>>36432840
Calm down mate, we are a bit on edge here, maybe just ignore him instead?
Lets just chill for a bit
>>
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>>36432896
I agree. Also, I should be able to QM shortly, if 22 isn't around.
>>
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>>36433724
>>
>>36433744
>>36433724
I'm around.

Also best post credits scene
>>
I'm back fools
>>36433724
Ay, don't worry about it. Although more drawings is always good.

Now then, where were we?

Seems like every day this thing nears bump limit just before prime time. Coincidence? I think not.
>>
>>36433795
Yeah it's not a coincidence. We start new threads close to midnight.
>>
>>36433795
welcome back!
>>
Between all the drama, we got one vote, so I'm going with that.

Flying over the dusty fishing town of Acameza, you set your sights on New Tenochtitlan. Last you heard, the demonic exodus had hit the Mesoamerican Federation hard, and a lot of the wealthier bunch had moved there to try and maintain their fortunes on the verge of recession. A boomin' town, then. And no doubt a big prize for Juarez. If he's headed anywhere worth going, he'll bypass the old Mexican nation and head straight where the real money is.
Do demons actually use money? I mean, they're apparently big on greed but- woah!

Far on the horizon, near Texas you wager, a massive Soviet symbol flashes in the sky, before dissipating. That's odd, as far as you know Chairman Putin hasn't held any American ambitions.

Putting it out of your mind for now, you see the sprawling Lake Texcoco below, and on it the burgeoning city of New Tenochtitlan.
Considering your options, maybe a glowing angelic cyborg over the skies of a major city might cause a bit of a stir.

>Keep on flying, causing a stir is what I aim to do/not really a concern
>Get grounded, cover the distance on foot
>>
>>36433953
>Get grounded, cover the distance on foot
>>
>>36433953
>Get grounded, cover the distance on foot
>>
You decide it would be better to land and enter the city as a normal person would do, so as to avoid notice.

Descending to the forest floor, you make sure to mark which way the city is before you enter. There are 4 bridges into New Tenochtitlan, spanning the re-flooded lake and guarded at outposts by city police. Makes sense, you think, with demons all around you've got to keep things tight. But you're here to kill demons anyways.

Finding your way to a road through the jungle, you power-walk along the side, trying to avoid the stares of passing cars. If only you could camouflage these big, holy wings and this shiny armor. Oh wait, you can.

Pressing a series of buttons on your wrist, you activate the cloaking device. An electric shock shakes your hand. Ow! You think the cloaker may be broken!
Before you can figure out what to do, it activates...

Roll a d20 and respond to this post for how accurate/concealing/unremarkable the disguise is.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>36434207
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>36434207

captcha: ologngs concealing
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36434207
>>
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>>36434326
Well then....
>>
>2/20, because I enjoy your suffe-
>>36434326
>20/20, because crits are crits.

Your cloaker sparks in a small bout of smoke, and it crackles to life. As you watch, your appearance shifts. You can't see it, but your wings and exoskeleton fade into the background, your holy armor shifting and darkening, turning a faded green. Your hair seems to shorten, becoming a crew cut cropped close to your head. The visor covering your face rises, folding into the helmet. For its part, the helmet turns a now familiar shade of faded green and shifts into a nondescript military headwear. The metal armor covering your arms and chest changes texture and appearance, kevlar patches along your shoulder and torso sprouting and shading a lighter hue of green. Your legs in turn are clad in similar armor, and your shoes are replaced by thick black boots. Lastly is your face and body, the pale skin becoming tanner and your black hair becoming a dark brown. Your eyes, however, remain the same. The ground seems farther away than it was before, you must have grown a few inches. Your childlike chest even bumps out a bit, not that you can tell anything beneath the heavy armor. Your ass hardly needs any changing, of course.

You are Maria Yumirez, Captain of the Mesoamerican National Guard. Well, at least that's what the nametag says.
Several policemen and soldiers salute you as you walk past, and you salute them in turn, your cybernetic subconscious conforming your actions to that of a high-ranking officer.

The gates barring the bridge open, allowing you to pass. One officer starts to question what you are doing without a car or escort, but a stern look from you shuts him up.

The walls of the city pass overhead, and you find yourself within, having gone entirely unnoticed. The smell of cinnamon and the multi-voiced quabbling all around you tells you that you've entered the renowned open markets of the Commercial district.

What next, Maria - er, Yumi?
>>
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>Hit up a churro stand.
>>
>>36434638
I don't think the cloaker prints counterfeit money. Maybe you could try to get one for free, I guess.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>36434653
>>36434549
Roll to acquire free churros?
>>
>>36434667
HUZZAH!
>>
>>36434667
I spat my drink when i saw this damnit! Not that i mind really shit's funny as all hell
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>36434717
>>36434676
Dice were being kind. Things will be tough from now on.
>>
>>36434770
Maybe this kuroneko's gonna have some good luck from now on?
>>
Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>36434801
kek no
>>
>>36434667
Well shit, looks like we're getting churros.

Before you set off, however, your stomach rumbles. Shit, you haven't eaten since, well, you were still 100% human.
You decide to try some of the local cuisine, so you hit up a nearby churro stand.

The stand owner is a frumpy looking Dominican with a wide smile seemingly plastered on his face. "Buenas tardes, senora. Oh!" He raises his arm in a hasty salute.
You laugh. It's a very different laugh than your old one. "At ease, sir. I'm just here to get some food. I'll take a churro, please."

"Ah, of course Captain, that will be 30 pesos."

You put your hand on the stand, the smile leaving your face. "I didn't say I was going to buy a churro. I said I would TAKE a churro."
The peddler stammers "Ah-uh, of course senora. Always h-happy to serve our hardworking soldiers!"
He hands you a freshly prepared churro, giving another salute as you depart.

Munching on the churro, you enjoy the sugary stick and contemplate your next plan.
>>
>>36434838
Right, forgot the options
>Head towards the military base outside the capital, try and get some armaments and troops to fight Juarez
>Head to the Senator's office, tell him a massive host of demons is headed straight for the region.
>Do something else.
>>
>>36434838
We're going to have to commandeer the rich and elite's personal mechas if we wish to have a ghost of a chance against Juarez. But we can't rely on our military status for this, so we're going to have to steal them.
>>
>>36434868
>Head towards the military base outside the capital, try and get some armaments and troops to fight Juarez
>>
>>36434869
He probably has a Mecha Demon

or worse
Mecha Dragon Demon
>>
>>36434868
>Try to round up a band of Mexican Federales to help you stop the demons.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>36434868
>Do something else.
Check that trash can
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

1 - Get Mecha
2 - Get Army to help
3 - Recruit some federales
4 - QM's choice
>>
You decide that, considering your new rank as Captain, you may be able to get the military's assistance. After all, they're already on warning for the exodus.

The military have a base outside of the capital, beyond the eastern bridge. You weave your way through the city, but it's rather slow going on foot. You briefly wish you could just fly there, but all disguise would be lost at that point.
Eventually, after what seems like two hours, you reach the end of the bridge and the gates of the base. The guards stop you, but a flash of your badge and a quick examination confirms your identity. You wonder if the real Yumirez is stationed here. You hope she isn't.

The soldiers salute, as usual, while you pass. You aren't sure at first where the higher-ups are stationed, but a few questions later you're pointed to a grey building on the north side of the base.

After a retinal confirmation, the door opens into a large, sparsely furnished room. A few men in green formal wear are talking heatedly over some maps and cups of coffee. One of them stops upon seeing you.

"Captain Yumirez? You're back earlier than expected. Any news from the northern border with Mexico?"

Fuck. Time to test your bullshitting skills.
(Write in)
>>
>>36435132
>"Oh, all's quiet so far. Except for, you know, the fuckhuge demon army charging straight for this city!"
>>
>>36435132
"The hordes seem to have stopped their advance before reaching San Miguel de Aliende. From what I little intel I could gather they were preparing for an extreme offensive against a heavily guarded target.
My suspicions are that they intend to strike this city during the Dia de los Muertos, when both their sorcery will be stronger and our defenses will be weaker.
I request we initiate a preventive offensive immediattely. Specifically, I request that we attempt to "cut the head of the Snake".
If we assassinate Juares and his closer officers his troops will be in disarray, stopping any big offensives from their side and allowing us to retake a good amount of land"
>>
>>36435132
Right, forgot to mention, gotta roll a d20 for bluffing.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>36435338
>>36435132
Kay

>>36435358
Does the quality help?
>>
>>36435362
Makes my job easier, that's for sure.
Yes.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>36435338
STROKN BLUFFING?Let us find out!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>36435358
Rollan
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>36435358
"We've got word of a large force headed towards our location, demons under the head of Mad-eye Juarez. They've already crossed the border, and scout drones say they're near Potosi now. If we hit them fast and hard before they can get their offensive underway, we can halt the assault before it reaches this city."
>>
Good thing at least one of you isn't a terrible bluffer. Writing for >>36435338
>>
>>36435455
It wasn't terrible?
Thanks I guess.
>>
You cough, and the rest of the officers turn.

"Concerning the border, the hordes seem to have stopped their advance before reaching San Miguel de Aliende. From what I little intel I could gather they were preparing for an extreme offensive against a heavily guarded target.
My suspicions are that they intend to strike this city during the Dia de los Muertos, when both their sorcery will be stronger and our defenses will be weaker.
I request we initiate a preventive offensive immediattely. Specifically, I request that we attempt to "cut the head of the Snake".
If we assassinate Juares and his closer officers his troops will be in disarray, stopping any big offensives from their side and allowing us to retake a good amount of land"

>13/20

"Dios de los Muertos?" The one who first noticed you speaks up. "Are you certain, that's tomorrow!"
"Forget the timing," an elderly looking gentleman with a thin, white mustache squints at you. "you don't believe that nonsense about sorcery and spellcraft, do you? If we are to fight them, it will be as soldiers fighting soldiers, not some Borgian fantasy!"

A stocky man, looking about 40, brings his hand down on the table. "You mock these reports as fantasy, but you have not fought them Cabela! I have seen their soldiers, fire whipping about the battlefield as though instantaneously, lightning on blue skies, men's skin boiling and rotting before their eyes! Yumirez speaks truthfully, and if they will have even more potency tomorrow, then we must stop them today!"

>(Cont.)
>>
The final officer, named Manchesa according to his tag, stands up and looks at you, arms crossed.

"Alright, you want us to engage Juarez. Our forces are already busy in the south with the Nicaraguans, we do not have many to spare."

You try to give the most serious, official look a girl of 13 can manage. "We need whatever we can get. If they're not stopped soon, Lake Texcoco will flood its shores with the blood of the city."

The four officers confer, pointing at maps and discussing the matter heatedly. You make out a few words, mostly expletives. Finally, Cabela rises and addresses you.

"We can spare four hundred men. We will also recruit a militia from the city and northern Texcoco. The draft is not often levied here, but they will arm themselves against such a threat."

"Yes, and hopefully they will provide enough manpower to hold off Juarez." Manchesa states, solemnly. "But do you have an actual plan, a strategy to defeat him?"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d20)

>>36435714
"A few scouts have reported a few underground passages that lower demons seem to have built behind our first line of defenses. They made a good advance in there, and it seems to lead to the center of the demon lair, where their leader likely is.
Our guess is these tunnels are going to be used for their invasion, but if we invade instead they'll likely be left undefended.
It'd be an opportunity to use their own plans agains them.
Essentially, while the main force advances and grabs their attention I'll lead a team of my commandos into the demon lair, we'll set as many explosive charges as we can to destroy their main base and then aid the rest of the offensive into penetrating their defenses."

Truth is we're just gonna wreck demons in angel form while they help, kek
>>
>>36435804
Our scouts
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>36435714
Bluff plan
>>
You outline your plan to the officers, and they nod, occasionally discussing a point with each other. When you've finished, Cabela opens the door.

"Alright, Yumirez. You're going to be heading the sapper team, so Manchesa will be leading the ground forces. Manchesa, you have a plan of your own, yes? Striking them head on is a fine distraction, at the cost of our own forces. Reduce casualties as you can, attack from the hills."

Manchesa salutes as he leaves. "Of course, general."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
TIME SHOOP
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The afternoon sun beats down on your back, wet droplets of water mingling with your sweat in the jungle heat. You've been trekking for nearly an hour through the dense foliage of the jungle, beyond the defensive line. somewhere here, there should be an entrance to the tunnels.

Of course, you won't actually be going down. Once the 15 sappers under your command head underground, you're flying straight at Juarez.
A scout calls in on the com, and you answer.
According to the most recent reports, Juarez's army boasts about one and a half thousand Soldiers, and 14 Primes to lead each squad of 100 lesser demons. As is typical with demon hosts, a vanguard of two hundred Elites ride ahead of the army proper, pillaging and razing the land as they go to prepare a path for conquest. Within the army as well are several dozen powerful mages, skilled in all manner of disruption, pyromancy, and arcane magic. Juarez himself rides a 12-foot tall hellsteed, wielding some sort of heavy machine gun and barking orders to the commanders below him.

Perhaps a frontal assault is more dangerous than you thought.

(Roll 1d20)
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>36436002
Rollan
>>
>>36436002
Ok
>>
Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>36436002
Fuck fail dice
>>
One of your men shouts to you from your right. Following his finger to a deep pit, you shine your flashlight down. The passage travels deep, this must be one of the tunnels they've been using.

"Alright, you men in first, I'll stay out here and, uh, keep watch."

The soldiers are briefly nonplussed by your response, but they know when to follow orders. After the last one leaves your line of sight, you make sure the area is clear before removing the cloaker.

>18/20

Luckily, it turns off without a hitch, the illusion sputtering away and your body shrinking and whitening to its usual appearance. Gilded wings glimmer despite the dim light, and your green military outfit is replaced by the blessed exoskeleton once more.

"Alright, that worked better than I expected."

You start your rocket and soar through the canopy, hoping not to alert the soldiers with the noise. Looking to the north, you can make out a large mass moving towards your area, passing through the less forested hills.
Juarez got here faster than you predicted.

So, military aside, what's your ACTUAL plan of attack?
>>
>>36436209
Tactical bombardment from our missiles to help the military advance. Then we fly to the demonic army's rear and push from the other side, they'll need to bring in troops from the frontal offensive and this will further help the soldiers.

Try to focus on making the army flanks advance to help them surround the demons.

When we make sure the army will be able to fucm the demons some we assault Juarez directly.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d20)

>>36436267
Rollan for it btw
>>
Rolled 7, 19 = 26 (2d20)

>>36436267

just so we can do best of three kek
>>
>>36436267
Let's surf one of those missiles towards him.
>>
I think the old QM is dead. Sounds like we'll need a new go at it in the morning.
>>
>>36437614
This cannot stand!
Time for a short interlude I think?
>>
>>36439660
Oh dang! I wonder what the interlude will be about. Should a new thread be made?
>>
>>36439824
Yup, this is about to drop off the board. Currently writing
>>
Bump
>>
>>36439842
Past bump limit, ya numpty



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