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Wizards, witches, sorcerers, sorceresses, -omancers of all variety: hear ye hear ye as I call yet another meeting of our most illustrious mage's guild. Todays meeting will cover creating new orientation material for our most recent inductees. It is with our newest members of the guild that our future's lie, as we prepare to deal with the specters of our past, and it is only with them that we can hope to deal with the looming threats of the Traitoress Jheska, and the maniacal Jake'ness the Pyromancer. Whether they are promising future full members, or more arbitrary cannon fodder, they should feel welcome in our halls, and would indeed be of greater help if they were more familiar with the guild starting out. That being said, I shall assist in chronicling the madness to date.
>>
>A postman leaves a postcard addressed to Mortimer from Dr.Stabby at the front desk
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>>36654006
Antruthius plz, we all know jheska is stuck in between some dimension and jake'ness is crazy, but whats with all the flowery prose, you normally arn't like that.
Did you mess with the druids again?
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Ha! I finally got here on time. Damn Novices kept snagging my invitations before I could get them.

New arrivals are always welcome in the Artificing department. We get the sane ones while the other departments get stuck with the psychopaths with access to fireballs.
>>
*Is enjoying his lunch*
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>>36654006
Finally a meeting after classes that I can attend without being tardy due to various acts of artifice and machinations. As far as a primer goes, a stat sheet for each of them as well as a quick recitation of their more infamous deeds would certainly be in order.

>>36654068
Interesting...

>>36654077
Jheska is wearing Fryja as a meat suit. Also Jheska's daughter who happens to be a drow princess is staying here at the askance of the drow while they hunt for her. Apparently she really pissed them off.

>>36654127
As are any apprentices with the desire to learn Divination in my department.
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>>36654006
I have good news the war is pretty much ended.
We have pushed the enemy into a small corner of there plane and at this point we mostly just keep watch over the borders in case they try and attack its over we won
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>>36654161

Well, hold on. Isn't seeing the future a bit. Y'know... Mind-wracking? I don't think an apprentice could handle that sort of knowledge. That is what the Divination department does, right? Future seeing and cryptic metaphors? Excuse my ignorance I don't leave my workshop much.
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>>36654199
on the topic of new guys i suggest that they be taught basic planer theory much earlier then they currently are with the war over i actually have the time to teach now
>>
I'd say necromancers can always use more apprentices for various things, there is never anything wrong with free labor and helping those who really don't want to give up their daily lives just because they are living impaired.

>>36654127
Hey Tivault, hows that golem in a golem thing you were trying to build a while ago going?
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>>36654216
well future seeing is advanced stuff they mostly just look at things happening in the present
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>>36654006
The first meetings of our guild have long been lost to the annals of history. Nonsensical quibblings over the various regulations assorted persons of interest saw git to bestow upon us. I myself was guilty of many of these rulings being passed down, and while I defend my decisions regarding the guild dress code policy, in hindsight perhaps the bit about outlawing implements other than wands and staves was a bit heavy handed. But I digress. Our meetings continued as such for quite some time, until various members began turning against the guild. Notably among them, Jake'ness the pyromancer. He devastated our halls with a storm of arcane hellfire the likes of which has never been seen, nor has been successfully replicated. In addition to this, he wrought a foul spell known only as "Decommissioning." With it, he forced us to move on from many of our favorite projects, as the precise mechanics of the spell have proven completely impossible to understand. Considerably less notable in terms of destruction was the banishment of Ashburn, the former master of the sorceress Noel. An abusive and unlikable man, he was ousted from the guild for his egregious and ongoing abuse of all members he was in contact with. Most recently, and proving to be the most problematic was the traitorous drow Jheska, former head maid of our institution. Jheska launched an attempted coup of the guild, accompanied by Ashburn, and has hinted at the return of Jake'ness as well. Furthermore, she has endured despite the complete annihilation of her body by our head of divination, Soros, ongoing attempts at sabatoge by Conspierre, head of conspiromancy, and extensive manhunting efforts by former male member of the fighter's guild, Cromina. She is currently residing within the body of our former head of witchcraft, Fryja the Crow, and has forced us to band together with some of our most hated enemies in order to defend our halls while we rebuild.
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>>36654254

Golem.. In a golem? Are you talking about those weird space ant things that were inhabiting that clock I made?

Cause, I just tore that thing apart. Don't know where the bugs went.
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>>36654275
so thats the history why the hell arent these things taught to new students
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>>36654318
also if its just a matter of possession thats easy fixed i have never known exorcism to be a difficult task
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>>36654068
This is going to give me ahead ache, I can just tell. Also here's your coffee everyone
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>>36654350
although im just glad we actually keep records now
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>>36654373

Oh gods yes. My assistants never get me anything. I love you, Coffee-Man.
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So while I was waiting I came across some books that were on loan from the magical girls' academy (back when that was a separate thing, I guess?) And there was some really interesting sigils and runes among them. I admit my history is sketchy but I'm gonna look further into them. Anything that could help...
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im feeling nostalgic today.

anybody remember that time there was some demon somebody wanted to get rid of so i swapped the place it was in with somewhere in the 9 hells
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>>36654006
Oy, I need to know who's been taking things from our supply rooms.
I'm missing over two tons of supplies needed for various artifacts we were asked to make by other parts of the guild, and even more stuff needed for our experiments
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>>36654275
Concluding with overreaching current events, I shall move on to basic dangers that new members should be aware of within our halls. The departments of fleshwarping and conspiromancy are among the most dangerous for apprentices, having a fatality rate of nearly 90% due to various experiments and I am told "job security." The departments of necromancy, arcane biology, forbidden knowledge, demonology, and beauracracy are equally dangerous, though rather more subtle. Additionally, the pet projects of many of our members are guarded with lethal amounts of pride, inadvisable amounts of zeal, and astonishingly creative traps both arcane and mundane. Thankfully, we have stopped hemorrhaging new students due to "applied research," which being a polite euphemism for testing new spells on whoever walks by in an apprentice's robe, was responsible for most of our losses.

>>36654318
It is currently suspected, though not confirmed, that Jheska's current resilience is a result of knowledge stolen from Conspierre's method of extending his lifespan. He avoided the subject and even kept it concealed from me, until events forced him to reveal that he has in fact been using body doubles and taking control of them the entire time.
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>>36654423
Don't call me that
>>36654424
You up for an expedition?
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>>36654435
and of course it got rid of that demon but brought hundreds more over to the guild
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>>36654373
On the front you see Dr.Stabby in blackface wearing Groucho Marx glasses with his arms around 2 scantily clad drow. On the bottom it says "Wish you where here"
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>>36654445
I still think seeking out Jake'ness is probably the worst idea any of us has ever had, including anything from the inadvisably applied magic division.
>>36654424
So.....how'd she take the news?
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>>36654216
We also scry and truesee among other things. If it involves perceiving something it likely is divination or is involved with it. But yesthe higher level spell need a rather unique brand of insanity in order not to rip apart the user's mind. Basic spells while far more vague and unhelpful are also piss easy to use.

>>36654373
Thank you Mortimer, and here is a healing potion for that inevitable headache.

>>36654424
Crib notes for translating those *hands small book*

>>36654450
*takes healing potion to alleviate headache*
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now that the war is over i can finnaly set out on that quest for the artefact that will remove the taint of sorcery from a person
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>>36654450
One day, I'm going to mount his head on my wall.
>>36654465
Don't really care at this point, what with Cromina being a "guest" to the drow
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>>36654449
That was a debacle that rivals the antics of Chris, Master of the Arcane. You are to keep Master Rogers' Bust of Fatherly Disapproval in your office until the end of time, to include 3 aeons past said event. The paperwork just went through.
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>>36654006
I am really regretting my choice as going 5e sorc. Can go back to wizard?
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>>36654216
I'm up for it, do you know how hard it is to get decent work experience in today's economy?
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All narrative aside, can someone screencap the current events bit? My resolution is funky and I'm awful at cleaning them up. If anyone has anything to add to it, please do. I'm most familiar with the stuff my character/characters took part in, and don't want anyone else's antics left out.
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>>36654472

While I have you here I wanna ask one more question about your department. Divination as a whole, really. Now tell the truth.

Do you guys give cryptic, vague and/or ambiguous advice on purpose? Is that a required course? Cause, going to fortune tellers and getting told to, "Watch where my feet doth travel." Only to step into a puddle a few moments afterwards is annoying to deal with.
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>>36654544
sure why not what is multclassing for

plus i can get rid of those sorcerer levels for you once i finish my quest
>>36654508
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>>36654445
As far as I know I'm still booked with Conspierre for whenever that thing is. Sorry.

>>36654465
I, uh...haven't exactly told her yet. Haven't thought up a good way to put it.

>>36654472
That'll help, yeah.
...Oh. Oh geez was I translating that wrong. Although I guess this makes a lot more sense unless the magical girls were even bigger perverts than I had originally thought...
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Did someone do something funky with the spatial dimensions? I swear this guildhall wasn't big enough to hold you all last time I was here.
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>>36654595
It's okay.
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>>36654595
I'd put a pin in that until we know if Noel is going to try and fry Soros and I. Well, probably succeed on my part.
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Seriously, I'm missing multiple Tons of supplies, I won't be able to provide the various artifacts I promised the different departments due to this
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>>36654607
really its a pretty big room

and i would assume there are a few enchantments on it to make it bigger if needed
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>>36654550

Augh! Damn apprentices are getting sneakier every year. If you want to know about economical stability then look no further than Aritifice. Seriously. We give you work experience as well as a portion of profits that your work may produce. That's later of course, we have a backlog of Artifice work that our Adepts work on.

Swing by the workshop if you wanna take a look around. Always looking for new apprentices.
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Have we ever come to a conclusion about the use of magic to manipulate markets? Not in a mind-affecting way, just in a 'how many purchases and sales can I make under the effects of Mirror Image and Haste?' sort of way.
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>>36654607
Tuypo's been working overtime. I'm still convinced he went native.
>>36654622
I'm positive one of the druids is your twin brother. Or you. Or me in disguise as you in disguise.
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>>36654620
what supplies do you need i could take a trip to the inner planes for you

and i may be able to get some stuff from the outer planes as well
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>>36654620
I shall check the paperwork
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>>36654622
Funny accent you have there. Spatial magic gives me a headache though. Not the magic itself, but wrapping my head around it.
Worst are the things smaller on the inside than the outside. The opposite I kind of get.
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>>36654620

Hey bud. Nice to see you got out the workshop as well. I believe that's my compartments fault. A few of my ore skilled students decided to get more than a fair bit tipsy and work on stuff. My team and I are disassembling the... Thing they made and we'll get the supplies back into their designated spaces.

Its gonna take some time though. At most the promises will have to wait. But, y'know, not as long.
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>>36654578
Most seers are comparatively weak in the art or of divine nature. Weak seers cover their asses by being vague and divine seers give what their deities tell them to give you. If you ask a question I will give you the best answer I can that won't put me and you in harms way.

>>36654595
Little trick they do to throw people off.

>>36654607
Bag of holding enchantments among other things.

>>36654641
The treasury department shut that down. They get really picky when magic and gold intertwine.

>>36654620
Most of it likely went to rebuilding the guild.

>>36654619
If possible I'll give you warning.
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>>36654646
how could i have been working overtime i have been in a warzone on another plane

wait are you suggesting i have gone goblin like
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>>36654668
I think you dropped your nametag somewhere.
>>36654641
It works quite well, so welll that we have gotten an official frowny face for doing it. The city currently hosting the Royal Magister's academy hasn't gotten wind of it yet, so feel free to try it.
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>>36654654
It's a lot of stuff, several of it being component artifacts. You know, you make one thing that you use to make something even bigger.
I got shit missing that came from the Hells, from the Elemental planes, The Astral, all over really.

>>36654688
If your students used that many supplies we need to have a talk Gant
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>>36654688
Ah, so that is where the supplies went. Turns out they filled out the paperwork for to.
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>>36654695
You wouldn't happen to know Tom, the Urban Druid, would you?
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>>36654636
You make a compelling proposal, how much of a "portion" are we talking?
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My peers, I forgot to assemble beverages for this evening. We will need to drink water from the wells it seems.
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>>36654692
>>36654715
Excellent. Now, to take all this money and use it to make more money. Thirty percent goes to the Guild, of course. That's what grant money is for. Can't wait to teach this one to my students!

Also, could someone summon an elemental or something to deal with the absolutely atrocious mess on the third floor bathroom? It smells like an Otyugh died in there.
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>>36654715
oh that could cause problems well do you have enough supplies to remake the components if not just give me something to get and i will get it
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>>36654514
On the back it reads
Hey Mortimer, before you ask my sexcation is going great. It was a bit rough at first but then I put my ranks in disguise to work and now I can't keep the drow off me. Oh and I checked up on your boo, cromia, she's doing fine. Be sure you're taking good care of my princess, I'll be back in a week.

P.S. remember to kill any one claiming to be from the bakers guild.
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>>36654768
I am in dire need of aglets. I seem to never keep them on any of my chords. In fact, it seems most here have lost theirs
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>>36654768
No, the gathering of them isn't a huge issue, though thanks for the offer.
I just hate when shit goes missing from the supply rooms, especially in such large amounts

I have work that needs to be done damn it.
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>>36654728
no i dont i am guessing he is a worshipper of Phyton
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>>36654646
I knew there was something spatial. Dislike them myself, single point of failure and all that.

>>36654688
Can I swing round later too? Haven't caught up on recent developments in the trade for months. Forgot I was still paying guild fees until this whole mess reminded me.
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>>36654692
Its only really an issue if she finds The Room. That I've since moved. And have yet to find a trustworthy maid with enough Ara to clean
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>>36654745
We have Mortimer's coffee, we're good.

>>36654747
Good luck then, hope it goes well for you. Also avoid golden robed wizards, diviner to person.

>>36654778
*Rubs head and grimaces*

>>36654811
Just avoid ara's and hire a ninja maid.
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>>36654715
The students responsible are cleaning up the mess they made. I've already done the punishment and everything. Just don't lecture me, Hadrian. We've all done stuff we're not proud of in the past.

>>36654716
Less work for me, I guess. Can't say I'm not impressed that they managed to fill out the paperwork hammered as they were.

>>36654733
Enough, Apprentice. Depends on the quality of your work.
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>>36654778
He is going to die slowly
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>>36654825
I more meant a talk about "what the hell are your underlings doing?" A golem shouldn't take that many resources, some of the teachers under you might need to be replaced
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>>36654785
aglets jeez im sure you could conjure those up easy

that said if i encounter any in my travels i will pick them up for you
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>>36654692
Judging by what I THOUGHT it was going to do, I'd say the trick worked.

...Hmm. This particular sigil seems...well, let's save that for a rainy day then. Lemme just get some paper to copy it, I'd hate to just rip the page out after all.

And a purple marble just fell out of the spine. It clearly radiates magic too, but not evocation and it doesn't appear cursed. Let's just...hang on to that for now, I guess. Also might come in handy.
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>>36654850
Thank you kindly, my chapter does not allow conjuration of any tool or object that would be of any directly applicable use at the moment of inception. It's a tough life, but we carry on
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>>36654833
Of old age most likely, let's be realistic
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>>36654808

Not much has changed over the years to be honest. New models have come and gone, minor improvements in joint functions. Runic overhauls that enable self-powering under certain circumstances.

Those and a weird fascination with "Crystals". Which summed up with us just shoving geodes into small dents we made in the frame.
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>>36654706
Sorry about that, forgot to introduce myself. I own "Georgio's Golems" on the market square? Used to study here.

>>36654848
I wish they didn't take up resources. Cuts into my bottom line at every turn.
But if you want to do them properly and not get bargain bin products- not that I sell low quality merchandise.
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>>36654885
I am needing to order some, if possible, for my chapter. They need no center of gravity or ability to life anything heavier than a quill. We can pay you in the smallest common currency available.
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>>36654885
>used to study here

i sometimes forget that we are after all a guild and do support those who have no involvement with the place anymore still its nice to see somebody who does not work here show up
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>>36654848

Oh, well. That's a different idea entirely. Uh, the monstrosity they created was a drunk apprentices pipe-dream. Supposedly, it finished homework for you, no matter how complex, and made more booze. When in reality they took a few kegs from the local tavern, which I have since paid for, and just surrounded it in what could be considered "modern art". If they had used just scrap we could've probably put in the front lobby as an art piece. Maybe lighten up the place a bit?
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>>36654878
Really need to read some published pieces...
The crystals thing extends beyond academia, best selling models are the ones with crystalline extras. I think it's a luxury thing, it seems better even if you know it's pointless decoration. But then I'm no economancer.
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>>36654864
That'd be wise youngling. Also you're welcome.

>>36654833
He runs into someone with truesight or a good sense motive, slow would be an understatement.
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>>36654822
Everyone knows Ara maids are superior.
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>>36654964
Debatable.Seriously take what you can get right now.
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>>36654982
Only the highest quality of cleaner shall enter that room.
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>>36655018
By then a disenchanter will have taken up residence.
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>>36655018
Let's just open a vacany in the munda guild to work here. They have nothing better to do and it's really their purpose
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>>36654952

I leave the pitch meetings to those crafty sons of bitches. They give my department the designs, if its not too hard I designate it to an apprentice or adept, and then I take a nap. Otherwise I just build it myself

Can't say I've been in to town so much recently. You do good work at your shop? I love golem shops.
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>>36655031
Not with where I put it. Only problem now is the dust. Which I am distressed to learn is mostly dead skin.
>>36654778
How did he get there so fast?
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>>36655074
to be totally honest, fecal matter is made of mostly dead skin
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>>36654963
Sorry, thanks for the book. I wanna take a closer look at this marble though - something hidden away like that has to have something going for it, right?

...huh. feel free to double check this, but it seems to be radiating...conjuration magic?

>>36655074
It's stabby. I've learned not to ask.
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>>36655074
I don't even want think about it
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>>36654947
There have been more explosions than usual, and apparently a mad fire specialist? I'm still fond of the old place, wouldn't want it burnt down.

>>36654925
Really? I'm surprised, considering the guild has an internal department.
Limiting the strength is easy, centre of gravity a little more.. Challenging. You're welcome to place an order during opening times however.

>>36655056
Domestic golems for the most part, homonculi too. The alchemists always seem to need a pair of disposable acidproof hands too. Better a golem is destroyed than an alchemist.
Not much call for intelligence or wargolems alas. Launched a new model recently actually, white porcelain, single centered eye, helper model. EyeGolem. Cheap to make, but they're surprisingly popular with the minor nobles, so I'm able to charge more than normal. Status symbols and all that.
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>>36655074
Don't be so sure.

>>36655101
*peers at it* Yes, along with some Enchantment and a very small amount of Evocation.
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>>36655135
Sorry my chapter only permits orders be made nearly at close of your shop hours and within the smallest time frame possible. Sorry for the minor inconvenience
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>>36655137
Unless they're a diviner of your caliber, they aren't finding it.
>>36655102
I feel that as a person's skill in their profession increases, the more their antics are indistinguishable from magic. This is not a comforting revelation.
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>>36655135

Ohhh. Porcelain golems.. Sounds good just to hear it. Never get to do work like that anymore. We have a bottom line to make and it doesn't give us much room for sheer experimentation.

Not that I'm complaining or anything. Job is cushy as all hells.
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>>36654864
Careful, if it truly belongs to those 'magical girls', it might just change your outfit into some sort of garish combination of frills, primary colors, and feathers. But not before everyone in the council gets a good look at you in your birthday suit.
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>>36655135
>>36655165
oh yes, it's not that we wouldn't like to make orders off the internal department, but going out of our way to do this is more of our style, And they still have not allowed paperwork to flow back and forth between departments since we placed their orders for all gears to be oval shaped over perfect circles for the next couple decades. They can fix it, just takes a bit of time.
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>>36655179
You have a lot of magic there and piss poor security. Disenchanter would have an easy time of messing it up.

>>36655198
Hello Noel.
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>>36655198
Please don't incinerate me. Soros didn't see it coming either.
>>
so has anybody done any interesting research lately any exciting papers to read.

i am working on a paper exploring the possibility of getting one of the infinite layers of the abyss to split off in much the same way Menausus did so long ago
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>>36655214
I stand corrected, a diviner of your caliber isn't finding it either. I've been taking a few pages out of Jheska's books.
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>>36655214
Soros.
>>36655224
I'm not in the incinerating mood today Pierre, so whatever you did, just don't do it again.
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>>36655227
i kinda want to see what would happen if i caused a layer to drift over to bytopia but im scared of the devastation it might cause
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>>36655265
.....Give it five minutes and one explanation.
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>>36655198
Well yeah. Hence why I'm going to be careful to not do anything that's likely to activate it. At least not until I'm in my own quarters with a scrying shield active.

Until then, I'll just hang on to it. It's pleasantly warm to the touch, actually.

>>36655265
Umm...yeah. about that.
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>>36655198
You up for an expedition?
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>>36655187
How in the finite hells is a research department unable to experiment but a small business is?

>>36655204
Spheres, with an gravity nullification charm. Only able to propel their own weight and a quill.
I think that satisfies your requirements?

>>36655198
There aren't any nearby are they? Don't know what it is about them, but they explode golems with alarming regularity.
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>>36655224
*face palm*

>>36655261
*Whispers a set of planar equations to Pierre* Seriously it wasn't hard to find and most of those defenses are easy to circumvent if you know how or eat magic.

>>36655265
Pierre needs to explain, I am going to raid the alchemists for potions of fire resistance and set up anti fire wards.

>>36655284
Should've told her earlier.
>>
Good evening everyone.
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>>36655306
More than you know. My apprentices and colleges will be delighted to hear that. We have been years without any useless aid in a long time, this will be a rather momentous night for the Minor Incommodom chapter
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>>36655306
oh that gives me an idea i have been trying to work out what plane to send the broken off plane to the 9 hells may be a good one to do then we will have 10 hells it will be interesting to see what that does to the political order over there
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>>36655284
Please stand between Noel and I, she won't incinerate you.
>>36655308
Hah, it worked!
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>>36655359
What did you do?
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>>36655353
ive got to go im going to try and work out what layers i should send where
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>>36655283
Oh what did you do this time?
>>36655284
Just be careful, you only have so many spare outfits left, again sorry about that, and I rather not have a girl trying to out gaudy a peacock following me until we can find a spare outfit.
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>>36655359
You do realize that site would be all I need to unravel that spell right? Why head to the others I could bring it all down from there.
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>>36655384
Two things......So.....a drow envoy came from one of the houses that count Jheska as an enemy and dropped off their princess as part of a peace treaty in exchange for us hunting down Jheska....
>>36655386
That's the beauty of it!
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>>36655306
We're not so much "Research" as we are "Manufacturing". We do plenty of work in keeping up with trades so as to keep our heads above water. Most of our real research goes into other artificing endeavors. Stuff that, if done well, can REALLY turn a profit. Fine tuned divination instruments, clockwork machinations, stuff like that.

Our profits fund apprentices and job training. Everyone once in awhile I scrape some extra money from our budgets and do something crazy. But that's once every blue moon.
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>>36655386
So are we going to tell her about the exchange?
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>>36655416
While I'm not particular fond of drow, I'm not seeing the problem here yet.
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>>36655452
So apparently Jheska murdered her oldest daughter right before she attacked us....
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>>36655452
Considering who you are talking to I am assuming he thinks there is a little more to the situation than is obvious...
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>>36655416
You do realize that leaves you wide open for a subjugation right?

>>36655449
Pierre's working on...>>36655468 Since Pierre is too chicken to say it I will.

>>36655452
Jheska's youngest daughter and princess to a major Drow house is staying ere for the interim. Her name is Also Jheska... the fourth.
>>
>>36655312
Evening, I- you aren't one of my customers are you?

>>36655353
Where would you even put it? They're ordered after all. Squeeze it in the middle or stick it on one of the ends?

>>36655418
The artificers still bleed the department dry? I didn't.. Listen, let's get together after this meeting and see if we can't arrange something. I already make to-order golems, you have assembly lines.. Maybe I could take a couple acolytes as interns for a time and challenge them with special orders or something.
>>
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>>36655384
...okay. I don't know how to sugarcoat it, so I'm gonna say it.

Jheska had two kids. I say had because she killed one and tried to kill the other but fucked it up.
The one she didn't kill is hiding out here while the rest of the drow arm themselves to the teeth in order to find Jheska and kill her before we can (because apparently they don't want her to be queen any more than we do) Meanwhile Cromina is with them (and probably whipping them into shape if I could guess) and Stabby left to try and get some dark elf booty, fuck if I know.

...And, umm, the one Jheska didn't kill still has her mom's name, and seems to have an affinity for fire magic too.

so that's all that. please don't burn me to pieces. *small tremors shake a few nearby pillars*
>>
>>36655418
hey if you guys are willing to start allowing us to register orders with you guys I'm sure we can fill your coffers easily. We already apologized about the whole gears thing and truth be told it makes your apprentices actually work a damn day in their life to file them to the correct size. You'd be suprised how much money the Incommodom chapter receives in grants once a year and from repeat customers.

All we ask is you guys forgive us for doing our thing and don't mind filling some of our research proposals and I can see this really working out for the two departments
>>
>>36655525
.....
>>
>>36655505
*puts on fire proof smock*
>>
>>36655477
It's really the face value of the thing that has me hiding behind people as I explain this. Consider that Soros just disappeared to go grab flame retardant gear and wards.
>>36655505
You're only seeing the obvious here, what kind of conspiromancer would I be if the obvious was what matters?
>>36655525
I uh...still have to tell her the worst part don't I?
>>
>>36655548
And you know how Jheska cleaned my creepy room? I was keeping body doubles in there that I would hop between whenever I died. So she may or may not have stolen that. Please do not take advantage of my non flame retardant state. I shared full exhaustive details of the process with Soros. I'm sorry I didn't say anything immediately. I do not want to be on fire.
>>
>>36655548
*Spell Eye activates and wards are arrayed*

>>36655552
5th seal last cone covered eighth diagram

>>36655550
Wise of you.
>>
>>36655509
>Where would you even put it? They're ordered after all. Squeeze it in the middle or stick it on one of the ends?

oh you misunderstand im not moving it myself i plan to change the culture of the layer so it no longer makes sense for it to be a part of the abyss the universe will do the rest of the work i have no idea where it will go

in fact it may just attach itself to an existing layer it has happened before
>>
>>36655589
Still wrong.....Would it kill you to ward me too?
>>
>>36655509
Nope, can't say I am.
>>
>>36655632
Actually where you are standing, Yes, yes it would step on the mats to the left please.
>>
This is exactly why I originally ducked out of Guild... business. I'm thinking there might be an increase in ceramic wargolems though with all this fire and such... fireproof loyal guardsmen aren't easy to find.

>>36655617
...I mentioned I can't get my head around spatial magic didn't I? At least you know what you're talking about.
>>
>>36655587
......
>>
>>36655617
you know i have been focusing my work so much on the more famous outer planes lately that my knowledge of the other ones is starting to fade

im sure if i just get a quick refresher i will remember it all its not like i have to relearn everything that would be hell
>>
>>36655675
I CAME CLEAN EVENTUALLY OW OW OW, I REVEALED MY SECRET AND LEFT MYSELF VULNERABLE TO ACTUALLY DYING OH GOD PLEASE STOP
>>
>>36655675
So, would you like to join me on an expedition to the Nothern Barrens?
>>
>>36655697
noel stop it come here conspierre i will take you to the elemental plane of water you will be safe there
>>
>>36655675
Noel stop it. I understand you are angry but as you are, you are threatening the guild. Go blow something up offsite and get it out of your system.
>>
>>36655675
As much as I love painful, fiery death, [Shadow Sheild]
>>
>>36655697
I'm very angry with you Pierre,
>>
>>36655742
It would be such an inconvenience to rebuild the place hey...?

*BLOW THE DAMN PLACE UP NOEL*
>>
>>36655774
I FELT RESPONSIBLE, I REVEALED IT COMPLETELY WILLINGLY!
>>
>>36655742
Fine.
>>
>>36655816
>Extinguished, and slightly charred
*cough* As for Jheska Junior, how do you expect me to have seen that one coming if Soros didn't?
>>
So, er... Nice weather isn't it? Good weather for fire- flowers! I meant flowers.
>>
>>36655816
My cape, that apprentice's robe, and the potted plant over there all thank you.
>>
>>36655794
Don't make me wrack you.

>>36655816
Thank you Noel, I am sorry I did not see Jheska's daughter in the mix, Lolth's chosen always sneak up on me somehow. If it makes you feel any better she really hates her mother and wants to meet you. She also seem to have a penchant for fire magic.
>>
>>36655774
>>36655816
L-look. I know it was wrong to try and hide it. I-it was dumb, even. But none of us wanted you to just blow a giant gasket over this, because it's not gonna help anything!

If you wanna talk about it...you know, once this is all out of your system? I'll be here. Just...just don't run off on us, okay?
>>
>>36655866
Dropped my nametag.
>>
Last call for an expedition to the northern barrens!
>>
>>36655910
Eh, guess I could come Mortimer, what are you after up there?
>>
>>36655866
Where is Jheska's spawn?
>>
>>36655910
>profuse coughing
Pass.....I don't want to on fire anymore
>>
>>36655910
*falls over and starts vomiting a riotous cacophony of items*
>>
>>36655925
You can't kill her. Or injure her. Soros did intensive tests. She's clean. And not actively malicious.
>>
>>36655910
i cant sorry with the war finished i have a lot of stuff to work out here i can help you prepare though
>>
>>36655866
I am here because we are calling new recruits, we generally leave all others alone but my chapter is in need of bodies. We have plenty of safety nets for this place, we are the minor inconvenience chapter for a reason, and if anyone wants to blow up the place theyll only get ~most~ of the place, or only ~kind of~ seriously injure people. My work doesn't end just because I'm here for recruitment of new people.
>>
>>36655925
*stops vomiting* Somewhere secure until you calm down.

>>36655910
If you value your existence do not go. I just had a piss awful vision. *coughs up a blind baby beholder eye*
>>
>>36655924
We are going to find Jake'ness, and convince him to decommission Jheska.
>>36655926
Fine
>>36655930
The hell?
>>
>>36655910
Aren't barrens called barrens for being... Barren? Lifeless and empty of ought of interest?
I could donate a porter or guard I suppose.
>>
>>36655967
Meh. This would finally get mom to stop nagging me about getting married however, and is therefore worth the risk
>>
>>36655967
jeez this does sound bad i think we better call this expedition off
>>
>>36655967
>>36655974
Ooh sounds like a good time, or at least it would if "a good time" was incredibly dangerous and likely to kill us all. That said, I am totally in.
>>
>>36655940
>>36655967
I had no intention of killing her. Honest.
>>36655886
My apologies, Sam, I let my temper get the better of me.
Is my hair still purple.
>>
>>36656016
I cannot say who, by my chapter was commissioned by an anonymous person to make your canteens break
>>
>>36656031
Awsome
>>
>>36656044
I mean that last as a question of course.
>>
Yo, where the white mages at, mang?
>>
>>36656006
>>36656016
>>36656031
On a scale of 1 to 10 with 1 being a stubbed toe and 10 being the complete annihilation of all time space in this universe what I saw was a solid 7 and half.

Anyone going on that trip will not be coming back ever. Complete cessation of existence. Maybe a handful of the most knowledgeable entities in creation will vaguely remember you exist. At best.

>>36656059
Very much so, I'm afraid *coughs*
>>
>>36656071
Oh. Well pay no mind to it, it goes away. Eventually.
>>
>>36656071
Well shit. Guess we are not going then.
>>36656103
I think that it looks rather nice
>>
>>36656071
Well now I'm curious. Only curious however, not suicidal.

...I think I need to make a couple wargolems. The knight models. Two and a half metres with pointies..
>>
>>36656044
It's very much more red than purple. Kinda maroon-ish, I guess?

>>36656071
Yeah, that does not sound good at all. Please tell me the spying idea with Conspierre is a 3 or less.
>>
>>36656120
Really? You're not just buttering me up just in case you do something stupid and piss me off later down the line?
>>
>>36656071
After seeing 100 generations of my family through 100 different sets of eyes, I could really use that kind of rest...
>>
>>36656153
No! Also, you nearly torched my garden again. Just saying
>>
>>36656148
Ah that's just it turning back to blonde.
>>
>>36656169
As old and wise as you are Aetherius, I think i will agree with the non suicidal ones this time.
>>36656071
>>36656120
>>
>>36656103
Surely*cough*

>>36656140
Would not be *cough* near enough.

>>36656120
*hacks up a blood ruby* Yeah it was bad. Triggered shit in *cough* Chaos blight *coughs up maggots*

>>36656148
a 2 and a half not bad at all considering *coughs up a white kitten*
>>
>>36656175
You know, one of these days, you really need to put a proper fire shield over that.
>>
>>36656206
Dropped my *cough* nametag.
>>
>>36656206
Have some coffee
>>36656212
I have been meaning to do that
>>
>>36656224
I would give you a lozenge, but I'm not sure if it would help much in this case.
>>
Uh, hi! I was told to come here because I've started dreaming about stuff before it even happens! Can any of you help me?
>>
>>36656206
It'll make me feel better. But if you insist, my workshop can do a lot more than a couple heavy Knights.

...is the situation really that bad?
>>
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Okay. What I'm going to do right now is go back to my quarters, tear down all the visible scrying charms, spray magma to burn up the invisible ones, conjure up an anti-scrying ward, and then dig into the source code of this stupid marble, because it's been trying to whisper things at me for the past half hour and I can't even understand the language it's trying to use.

...No, I'm not crazy. I think.
>>
>>36656283
here is some coffe and sandwiches to go
>>
>>36656250
Soros probably could, if he feels like it. He is right over there >>36656224 coughing up random objects
>>36656258
If it has Aetherius interested enough to speak outside of my mind, I would think the solution will take a significant bit more than golems...
>>
>>36656283
Who keeps putting these damn charms everywhere anyway?
>>
>>36656233
Thank you *takes coffee pours a sickly green potion into it and starts drinking*

>>36656234
It would be*cough* useless.

>>36656258
Jake'ness nearly destroyed the guild on his own last time and has magic I can't *cough* understand with my Spelleye. What d *cough* you think?

>>36656250
That'd be my department *cough* kid let's get you tested and sorted.

>>36656283
Take Pierre with *cough* you. He can *cough* help.
>>
>>36656283
Good luck
>>
>>36656312
Thanks, I'm sure I'll need them.

>>36656321
I honestly wish I knew. Like, if someone gave me a scroll of wish I'd be very tempted to use it for that knowledge.

>>36656325
I appreciate the thought but I know how to raise a no-scrying field. I *did* graduate basic after all.
>>
All righty, I have ton g to sleep now. Bye
>>
Oh my look at this.

I didn't know they let apprentices use scrying orbs these days.

>daily reminder Tall Raul is actually just a normal man on stilts. Not even enchanted stilts just mundane fucking stilts
>>
>>36656384
If you are in danger of imminent death, drop this into your shadow. *hands a piece of paper covered in runes*
>>
>>36656325
Thanks I suppose. Mind if I sit in on the meeting though?
>>
>>36656325
>>36656313
I live in hope and sit on my arse eating potato wedges and tinkering with golems mostly. I'm out of touch and trying not to panic.
Hell, I barely even cast spells beyond cantrips these days, so building giant walking armouries that will defend me to the death is about as comfortable as I can make myself. Well... No, yeah thats about it.
>>
Also druids please go. Get off the orb and get back to work on the yard surrounding my tower it's a fucking mess and I pay too much good REAL gold for it to look like this.
>>
>>36656384
Pierre is good at unraveling secrets, that is what I meant.

>>36656407
Goodnight Mortimer.

>>36656321
Would you Believe the new Jheska blew herself up in the testing chamber trying to dispel magic?

>>36656452
Go ahead, you dropped your nametag by the by.

>>36656456
Break out those special blueprints you have then. The ludicrously overdeveloped ones.
>>
>>36656469
>>36656426
Did I miss something?
>>
>>36656452
Woops dropped the name tag they gave me at the door.
>>
>>36656482
I see this Jheska isn't quite as dangerous as the last one.
>>
>>36656428
Ummm...thanks? *takes it anyway*

>>36656482
If I find myself stumped then I'll give him a call, yeah.
>>
>>36656502
Outside of evocation, illusion and enchantment she's pretty bad at magic. Seriously keep her away from summoning circles and scrying orbs.

>>36656514
Good. Also might want to have mindblank cast on you.
>>
If any of dopes encounter a tragically underaged looking skeleton calling itself a lich that little punk owes me an enchanted cask I made to rapidly age wines that I loaned to him to help cure him of his own stupidity.

This is why we don't let apprentices study necromancy.
>>
>>36656530
What about fire magic, you said she had an affinity towards it.
>>
>>36656567
Shes very good at Evocation specifically fire based spells. She blew the target up quite effectively.
>>
>>36656582
You think being that woman's daughter she'd be less...specialized.
>>
>>36656482
Pity really that those blueprints are of artistic golems and ones designed to operate in hostile conditions. I sell to the aritoscracy and people wanting a servant to do regular cleaning. Do you know how many guard golems be sold this year? Four. To guard some family vault. Because with chrome plating they're shiny.
Best I can do to help is find some tough materials and rivet them to the biggest stone and metal frameworks I can find.
There's one design I've got prepared, but it would take years for it to.... Develop.

I'll see if the Guild department has anything, but I can't build an army in an artisanal workshop.
>>
>>36656486
If you've been dealing so casually with druids you're probably missing a great many things. Check your stores for any missing valuables.

Fuck those hippies.
>>
>>36656596
She's also Chosen of Lolth which fucks up half the Arcane schools she could conceivably use. hence why no Conjuration, Divination or Necromantic talent at all.

>>36656607
I'm sure you can get what you need.
>>
>>36656628
A darn shame that is.
>>
Huh, seems LIKE we have missed most of the fun HERE already. SORRY to arrive so late, we were still BUSY solving what was left of the botched SUMMONING a while back.
Seriously, summoning is NOT a toy to be used by JUST anyone. There are rules and procedures THAT need to be followed.
>>
>>36656614
It would really be a problem for me if I couldn't store my valuables in my shadow.
>>
>>36656661
I can't say I find that tasteful but it's a better method than I've seen some flesh-shapers use for carting their goods around.
>>
>>36656628
Right, Lolth. Spider bitch.
>>
>>36656683
We recorded her blowing herself up. Now that youve calmed down
>>
>>36656682
Trust me, you don't need to be a flesh-shaper to do that.
>>
>>36656703
I'm calm, I'm calm, see, my hair is back to normal.
>>
>>36656733
I always assumed "on fire" was normal for your hair Noel.
>>
>>36656754
No, its blonde, it only turns purple when I really lose it.
>>
>>36656733
It's fine. I had it coming
>>
>>36656733
It was rather amusing to see.

I gave her a report card at the end of the overtime thread you can read it here http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/36589447/
>>
>>36656777
You know you were lucky I decided to go for the slow roasting deal instead of breaking out my spell book
>>
>>36656774
Why IS it that hair changes color for some people? Its more a sorcerer thing, but still.

...Does it change the colour of all your hair, or just your head?
>>
>>36656808
In my experience, being on fire tends to make things different colors, especially when it involves magic.
>>
>>36656808
I'm going to pretend you didn't ask that Gerogio.
>>
>>36656797
I would have been back soon enough anyways. Would have been less unpleasant if you'd fried me. But you see now why I'm committed to this right? Even if you dont buy the personal responsibility bit, theres a fair amount of self preservation
>>
I'm still feeling unwell. It's been a long while since a vision hit me this hard. I think I need to go to bed guys. Til later.
>>
>>36656836
...I was talking about underarm hair. You made it weird.

>>36656834
Purple is unusual. Wasn't there one monk who's hair went yellow too? Shouted a lot. No shirt.
>>
>>36656863
Good night
>>
>>36656808
Hair also CHANGES when half of your body is anchored ON ANOTHER plane.
Sometimes our HAIR changes, usually for normal mages it is DUE to either sorcerers heritage or a BACKFIRED spell.
>>
>>36656884
And? Shadows don't usually come in red either. Perhaps Noel just unconsciously associates the color purple with anger.
>>36656903
You should probably ask tuypo for help with your *ahem* condition...
>>
>>36656903
Its just.. Why hair? Its dead tentrils of body matter. And it ends so neatly on the scalp. Why not the skin, the stomach, the left ear lobe?
Probably shouldn't be asking this question, I'm an artificer, not a wizard
>>
>>36656940
Hair's receptive to magic, why else do you think witches use it for curses?
>>
What's good nyiggahs whats really good?!
>>
>>36656940
In the words of my great great grandfather, "Its Magic, I Aint Gotta Explain Shit!"
>>
>>36656963
that explains why people keep thinking I'm a natural redhead, I guess.

Anyway, time for code-breaking, then bed. Good night, everyone.
>>
>>36656903
WE are already aware about the ability to remove OURSELVES from this condition. Not ONLY is it dangerous to both halves of us, but the state which it would PROBABLY leave us in is a much diminished one.
Honestly it ISN'T that bad. I have seen some summons go MUCH worse.

>>36656940
Perhaps because THERE is so much variance on color between species that it is ONE OF the easiest things to change?
>>
>>36656981
Night Sam
>>
>>36656988
WE meant to reply to >>36656940 not ourselves. Talking to OURSELVES would be a sign that we indeed HAVE gone off the deep end.
>>
>>36656976
HAHAAHAHAHA KIDS GOT A POINT
TRYING TO EXPLAIN MAGIC IS LIKE TRYING TO BUTTER A PIDGEON! IT WONT TASTE ANY BETTER AT ALL! HAHAAHAA
>>
>>36657009
>>36657024
You know, you could go really rather insane here and nobody would notice.
Its rather like interacting with customers.

...also, buttered pigeon is delicious. Admittedly I mean pigeon in a butter sauce, but still.
>>
>>36656981
She's brown, in case anyone is wondering.
>>
im back
>>
>>36656981
Night. Let me know if you need help with the whisper thing.
>>
>>36657097
Danial was never really all that big on the whole "guide the family as an immortal shadow-spirit-thing" bit, shame how it has affected his mind since he passed
>>
>>36657134
oh it seems everybody is starting to leave oh well gives me a chance to read through the meeting logs
>>
>>36657134
Welcome BACK tuypo.
>>
>>36657213
Good evening tuypo.
>>
Sorry I kept you waiting
>>
>>36657161
It's always a risk when one permanently so changes body. Made a bit of a study of it, back when I researched immortality. Pretty sure everyone's at least looked into it. Expensive, in some form or another every time of course.

>>36657134
Hello again! Anything strange happen in the other realms, or was your absence a more mundane one?
>>
>>36657289
more mundane
>>
>>36657289
It may be a heavy burden, but without the guidance of the Red Shadow, I doubt our family would have lasted this long or been this successful
>>
That was when the Fire Nation attacked.
>>
>>36657595

Sorry about that, my cousins are staying over, forgot to mention, they tend to be pyromaniacs,
>>
>>36657665
Oh good lord
>>
Damnation!
I'm always late to these things.
What is happening? What is with all the fire and red?
As for why I'm late, whoever had their apprentice walking about in the basement near the cages, I'm almost done fixing him... I think it was a "him" anyways.
>>
>>36656930
sure i can fix her i think
>>
*Yawn* What was with all this ruckus? It is the dead of day, humans...
>>
>>36659118
I have not the faintest.
You haven't seen the dragon eggs around perchance? I left them right there.
>>
>>36659151
You taking me for another of your students? I am a princess, so behave and show some proper manners while talking to me.
Humans....
>>
>>36659189
jeez and everybody said she was not so bad
>>
>>36659203
Enough with the squabbling, now. I am scheduled to meet a pyromancer who answers to the name of Noel. Bring her before me.
>>
>>36659189
I don't see why royalty concerns me, now, have you seen the dragon eggs woman?
>>
>>36659238
... No, I didn't. And I do not see why should I care.
>>
>>36659228
oh shit i forgot my name
>>
>>36659277
Carry on then. Would you like a sweet for the trouble?
>>
>>36659228
i dont like you

you think yourself above us that will not go over well here maybe in your precious underdark you have all the advantages but here

we dont give a fuck about your gender
we dont give a fuck about your nobility
>>
>>36659297
and you presume us all human we have many non human members and many who can no longer really be called human
>>
>>36659278
Your name does not concern me, least it is not "Noel".
>>36659293
Are you offering a tribute to me? Good. This is what I deem to be proper manners.
>>36659297
As the favored of Lolth, beacon of her divine power, I do order around whenever and whatever it pleases me. Stand aside, for I have more pressing matters then listening to a random wizard.
>>
>>36659308
Tribute? I just get them from the nice old lady down in the village, she makes them herself apparantly, I like the yellow ones.
I don't know what she calls them to be honest.
>>
>>36659308
bah i dont care about lolth i could be considered favoured of garl glittergold you know we get along quite well

lotlth is a sexist arsehole
>>
>>36659317
when she says tribute she means gift but in an arsehole way you know because shes an arsehole she is expecting you to treat her like some sort of deity she does not seem to realise that most of us do not look at gods the same way as most people do we respect and revere them sure but we dont act like there everything
>>
>>36659308
Don't remember an entrance to the Underdark around here. Aren't you rather far away from home? Er, your... oh shit. Is it majesty or highness the first time...

>>36659151
What kind of dragon egg? There isn't one ready to hatch around here is there?
>>
>>36659317
>gives a careful bite to the treat
... suitably tasty. Rejoice, for I found your tribute to be worthy enough.
>>36659337
Your lack of faith in our Lady of Spiders will be your undoing.
>>36659353
Your lack of punctuation I find irritating.
>>36659360
Fear not, for I am not used to kill for the first mistake. Be careful not to make another, though.
>>
>>36659353
Why would I treat her like a deity?
Ah, to be young, I remember how you could feel arrogant like that and now know better.

>>36659360
Well, they're not yet, and I wasn't quite done modifying them to be honest. They should be safe for a few more months.
What kind? I'm not right sure any more.

>>36659371
Great, I knew you would like them.
Now be a nice young lady and you can have another the next time you visit.
>>
>>36659371
Well my lack of punctuation irritates a lot of people.
>>
>>36659360
oh she was brought in or something i have not had a chance to look over what happened yet
>>
>>36659398
Who cares, it irritates ME, so you should make something about it.
>>
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Now I think about it, a spider construct would be a fun challenge. Not at all sure what you could use it for though.
Though the horseshoe crab models turned out to be excellent at cleaning and dusting floors, so it could well be worth experimenting.

>>36659381
Well so long as there isn't some horrible beastie about to- well, more than usual numbers of horrible beasties around.
How old are you, if it isn't too forward a question? Biomancy makes it tricky to tell.
>>
>>36659429
>a spider construct would be a fun challenge
But that's heresy!
>>
>>36659429
How old? Oh I don't know, I stopped counting a long time ago.
Didn't seem like much of a point to keep count after I stopped aging.
>>
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>>36659308
Great, a servant of the second worst racial deity decides to start tossing around her boss's weight, and no ones cares. How about you go sit the fuck down before you end up on a plane when spider bitch can't help you.
>>
>>36659450
Now now, there's no need to be rude.
That does go for all of you though.
>>
>>36659450
locking her away on another plane

that is something i can do for sure
>>
>>36659402
Well, entrances can and are hidden. It's the bleeding' Underdark after all. Subterfuge and hidden stuff is expected. And spiders. Too many spiders.
Went down there once, escorted on a dwarf road to bypass a mountain range. Bloody scary place, took the long way round back.

>>36659439
I'll give them six legs and two arms then.

>>36659447
How is it then, the whole ageless thing? Bit worried about... looking into immortality serious-like again. You do hear stuff about insane immortals.
>>
>>36659463
Most wise wizard, your understanding of political matters is astounding for a member of a young and weak race such ad yours.
>>36659483
That's still heresy, for you're openly mocking Lolth's creations with your puny artifice.
>>
>>36659483
Oh I reckon most of that is hogwash, exercise regularly, get three square meals a day, and keep yourself busy. You'll be right as rain.

Depending on how you achieve it anyways, I can't speak to that whole pact with otherworldly forces business.

>>36659498
Young and weak? I'm flattered you think so.
>>
>>36659463
i admire the way your dealing with her but i just cant pull something like that off
>>
>>36659498
we arent a young race we dont live long but we arent that young as a race

and remember barely human anymore certaintly applys to marus
>>
>>36659498
Puny artifice? My creations are hand crafted and hardspelled pieces of craft!
Plus you can't mount ensorcelled rotating circular saws on spid- ...its harder to mount them on normal spiders.
Hmm. Maybe there's a use for spidergolems in topiary..

>>36659505
Let's just say I am VERY good at golemancy.
>>
>>36659534
My mother was wrong on many, many things, like the necessity of killing me to ensure the favor of Lolth and all of ruckus he caused here, but she was right when she said humans were mostly scum to be annihilated.
>>
>>36659588
Now now lady, the rules of hospitality go both ways.
>>
>>36659596
I'm not compelled to act nice, since I'm just here for my protection from the crazed assassin that is my mother, and because my bodyguard Kazran is way too paranoid.
>>
>>36659618
Young lady, the accords of hospitality are both older than you and your race.
You are royalty, act with proper decorum.
>>
>>36659618
i sure hope once shes taken care of you will leave
>>
*Yawns*

Goodness, we keep having these engagements at such ungoodly hours. And, unfortunately, more often than we really ought to. I understand that the witch Jheska is a prime concern, but we do not need to hold a meeting every time some new event comes up!

Also, this new captcha ward confounds me. I am not technically a robot, but I am not technically NOT a robot either.
>>
>>36660031
i have been wondering about that myself lawmagus
>>
>>36660031
In the name of Lolth! A summoned spirit from the nine hells. Perfect timing. Bring me food, servant.
>>
>>36660068
Ah, madam Jheska. I had heard you would be arriving.
What food would you like me to procure?
>>
>>36660031
I don't much like it either, even some of the warforged seem to have trouble with it. Still, prevents any idiot able to make constructs or summon from letter bombing the place. Wish it wasn't necessary.
Still, if wishes were griffons eh?

By not-robot, you have artifice parts or something else?
>>
>>36660074
Anfarthon, you know we should keep the proprieties, first there is bread and salt and milk.
>>
>>36660074
Just popping in to say hey Dishonored One
>>
>>36660081
I am partially automated, but in an ethereal manner rather than a mechanical one. I have actually become less "robotic" since I was rightfully banished from the Council.
>>36660086
Certainly, but such foods would be unfitting of royalty. Unless that is what she desires.
>>
>>36660093
Regardless of birth, the code of hospitality are the same.
Magicuisine comes later.
>>
>>36660074
>>36660093
Finally, someone showing proper manners!
Fetch me some mushrooms, and a wyvern egg- but make it a small one.
>>
>>36660107
It shall be done, your Highness.
>>
>>36660093
Hmm, all the same I'd kill for a closer "look" at it. Ætherial constructs are an academic interest of mine, never get enough opportunies to study it though.
Can't offer much though, I haven't the tools to do much maintenance or such.

>>36660103
There's always something slightly off about conjured food. Actual chefs just seem to make it better. Hated the canteen when I was a student.
Though that's probably because the conjurer called it in..
>>
>>36660127
Freshly plucked Andorine mushroom heads, and a small wyvern egg.
Frankly I am glad we finally have a use for those damned wyverns, that infestation last spring has got the upper rafters filled with the things.

>>36660136
Perhaps later I will have time to demonstrate the workings of this form. And I'll inform you that this meal was in no way conjured, such second class methods are unbecoming.
>>
>>36660146
Hey! Put my eggs back where you found them!
>>
>>36660158
I appreciate your concern, Marus, but these are from the wyvern nests upstairs. I would never take the eggs you use in your experiments.
>>
>>36660127
>>36660146
Most appreciated, servant. Your behavior pleases me and therefor our Spider Queen.
On more important issues, do you happen to have any intelligence about that hellish kin-murdering spawn otherwise known as my mother? My bodyguard Kazran should have yet delivered the latest recording of her position to your guild.
>>
>>36660167
Where do you think you put Wyverns when you experiment? Certainly not in the basement.
>>
>>36660171
No thanks is needed, it is in my nature to serve.
As for the witch, last I have heard she is still on the run. Sadly I was not present for the majority of this meeting, but after a bit of recognizance I should be able to have the most recent update.
>>36660175
Are you responsible for that dreadful infestation we've got, Marus? Why, a mage can hardly walk through the western corridors without one of his apprentices getting eaten by some shadow in the rafters.
>>
>>36660189
Hardly my fault you can't teach your students proper self defense.
And it's not hard to please a wyvern enough for it not to bite at you, carry a piece of meat and scratch it behind the left ear.
>>
>>36660093
wait you got kicked out of your council when did that happen
>>
>>36660206
Sure, that will work with one wyvern, but we've got dozens nested up there now! I've talked to the Rescinders about clearing them out. If you wish to retain some, I suggest you keep them in a manageable location.
>>
>>36660189
Pity. I rather like wyverns. Hometown had a wyvern aerie and riders, so they remind me of home.. And then I remember most are vicious things. My first solo construct mimicked one too. Got in a drawer somewhere..

>>36660206
Left ear you say? I think I may go wander the corridors.
>>
>>36660189
What can you tell me about this woman known as Noel, which should, according to the head of the divination faculty, be my teacher as long as I sojourn here?
>>
>>36660214
Oh, they managed to self-impregnate? Marvelous.
Yeah you can do whatever you want with them now, that's all I wanted to figure out.

>>36660221
Yes, the left ear, make sure you don't feed them something stupid like vole meat though, they hate that.
>>
>>36660212
After a rather regrettable tryst, I was inclined to try and heal Conspierre's brief "un-censoring" with some magic. Unfortunately, the spell went awry and I was excommunicated rightfully for breaking Council doctrine.
>>36660245
Warlock Noel? She is a pyromancer, prefers herself and her students to dress indecently and, as is common with fire mages, has a fiery temper. She is generally interested in the common good, though, so if one can abide her outbursts she can be agreeable.
>>
>>36660255
Please, I used to help out at the aerie. Vole is hard to get anyway outside an alchemist's. Does anyone actually like eating them?

>>36660245
... I'd recommend not wearing spidersilk. Too flammable.
>>
>>36660262
well im glad to here your off that council now we can slowly turn you into somebody whos fun to have around
>>
>>36660262
Dress indecently? This is something my mother would do, but I reckon they were not in good terms... where did she took this fascination with skimpy clothes? Has it something to do with mother's thrice-cursed witch adoptive daughter, Fryia?
>>36660279
Blessed spidersilk is protected by the power of Lolth. None shall burn its thread.
>>
>>36660294
she does not dress indecently really
>>
>>36660287
I resent that. Especially your delight in what I can only refer to as the greatest shame of my long existence.
>>36660294
I cannot honestly say what made her love indecent dress. It may be a result of Ashburn's lascivious demands, some psychological reaction.
>>
>>36660294
>None shall burn its thread.
It's very adorable that you think so.
Fireproof silk is certainly possible, but the kind you wear is not that.
>>
>>36660294
You go on a power trip, you wear strange clothing. It seems to be a thing no matter the race.
>>
>>36660303
I'd like to know some more about her, please. It is starting to get interesting.
>>36660314
Let me put it another way then. Should someone set it on fire, Lolth would not be pleased at all.
>>
>>36660314
i spend a lot of time in the plane of fire i have become very good at fireproofing things i would help her fireproff her clothes but i dont like her so why should i help her
>>
maybe noel can make jheska more likable
>>
>>36660328
Well, she is fond of whips, especially those that are on fire. She is often stern with her students, and has a great disdain for pants. She can be nice, however, when the mood strikes her.
>>36660331
>>36660336
Now tuypo, try to show a bit more respect.
>>
>>36660328
Wouldn't your principal concern when lit on fire be making yourself not lit on fire? And why do you keep bringing up Lolth, what does her feelings matter in this?

>>36660331
Cross-breeding with fire natives is actually one of the ways to produce fireproof spider silk, good catch tuypo.
>>
>>36660314
>>36660294
You know.. Wyvern scales are highly fire resistant... Not true dragonscale, but not bad at all.

Hmm... Maybe I should work on those extinguisher golem plans. Can't be too hard physicall. Ceramics and metals. Wand slots in the arms with some kind of freezing spell..
Then its just arcane programming.
>>
>>36660346
The feelings of my patron concern everything that happens to me. I suppose it is too much of a stretch to ask a wizard to think as a cleric...
>>36660340
This information will be precious. Now tell me more about the other wizards I should worry about, for I see they are unreliable at best.
>>
GAZOOKs!
I've done it ladies and gentlemen men! I've found a way to increase library capacity 600%!
>>
>>36660340
oh god does she ever hate pants
>>
>>36660399
thats excellent
>>
>>36660352
More safety precautions are always welcome, after all.
>>36660370
Less unreliable than unpredictable, as I have learned. Whom would you like to know of?

Soros is a well-mannered mage, most of the time. Easy to get along with if you can show you're worth his time.
Lupa the Fleshwarper is often more lustful than Noel, but less so than Randolph the Perverted. She deals in alterations of the body and crafting tissue.
Tuypo is an odd figure. I suspect he has gone native. Talks with a peculiar inflection, and usually to himself. Still, aside from his frequent planar departures, he is a generally accommodating person.

I am loathe to mention "Dr." Stabby, but it is better to know of him than be caught unawares. He is a rogue, not a mage. Frequent thief and murderer, who seems to have sold his moral compass to a prostitute. He has been a frequent source of problems to the guild, most recently aiding the other Jheska, she who tried to destroy us.

>>36660399
Lovely! Now I can properly organize those Argivian tomes I've had to store in my own quarters.
>>
>>36660399
How many dark pacts did that take? I kid, I kid. Spatial enchanting, correct?
>>
>>36660414
im not sure what you mean by gone native
>>
>>36660410
Originally we planned to hollow out larger books are place smaller books inside but then I slipped on the floor this morning, hit my head and had a dream. Why not place larger books inside smaller books!? I've tested it and it works! We've already hallowed out all the small books in the "fecalmancy" section and plan on finishing today in the "summoning paper eating termites" display!
>>36660414
No need to organize them in your own tower, we have enough space we built large extra secure safes for you to send books into and summon themail out when the time is right
>>
>>36660436
You have a noticeable accent, for one.
>>
>>36660414
>"Dr." Stabby
I've head the arguable pleasure of meeting him during the previous meeting. A dangerous psychopath at his best, if I recall, who managed to irritate the head of the Black Guards Kazran and declared himself to to my stepfather. I pity him, for love relationships with my mother are always one-sided and she will just make use of him before tossing him aside.
What about Conspierre, then, and the lass that went to the underdark as an hostage? She had a ludicrously long name, starting with Cromia, maybe.
>>
>>36660462
Conspierre, yes. He is naturally a mysterious person, and as is fitting for a Conspiromancer he is always thinking of several things at once and speaks volumes in a few sentences. However, when he isn't being cryptic or accidentally causing uprisings among rocks, he's a rather pleasant fellow.

Cromina, I respect for her duty to uphold order. Beyond that, though, she can be rather... cold-hearted. Brave, though, and an undeniably good mage and fighter. Just try not to anger her, as she is one to hold a grudge.
>>
>>36660428
Well we plan on destroying terrible books to make room and....

Say, dont you still owe us a " advanced golem crafting: fireproofing and water protection" book?
>>
>>36660490
Of course not! I haven't been on guild property for years! I- oh. Oh. Oohhhhh.. with the fire drake and.. Yeah Golem Eleven..

I, um. I lost it.
>>
>>36660515
Whatever happened to Golem 4, I liked her, she was plucky.
>>
>>36660488
I'm starting to form the mental image of a bunch of madmen that know each others pretty well and have reached the point in which their respective brain damages are just a few quirks to add on the templates of rather normal people, because assuming otherwise would lead to admit each one of you is just another mad dog hunting for power best left undiscovered.
Correct me if I'm wrong.
>>
>>36660515
Listen, we librarians try to not hold grudges, just file them away in our heads usually.
Just don't complete that order for the Incommodom chapter. They're the mages of minor inconvenience. Just lose their paper work, they'll understand. We're still pissed at them in the libraries for what they did
>>
>>36660540
>>36660515
Do that and us librarians will "forget" the whole lost book thing, we usually order them in pairs for this reason
>>
>>36660538
Pretty much right. Although power is not in my better interests.
>>
>>36660525
Oh you remember her? Its been so long since the numbers. Let's see.. She went on to... I think the capitol to play music. Haven't heard from her.
Still amazed I got a full personality back then, she was half caffine-created stupor and insanity for a project. Never did quite replicate that.

>>36660540
Fair enough. I wasn't looking forward to squeezing float charms in them anyway.
I need a notepad or something for next meeting I attend, had another idea.
>>
>>36660538
I just sell Golems and Golem accessories.
>>
>>36660572
I find that caffeine and insanity are core components of any truly great feat of magic.
>>
>>36660556
Seems like I got a good grasp on the situation, as expected. I'll be back to my room, then, where I expect none to disturb my sleep, least you desire to be swarmed by spiders.
>>
>>36660592
As you wish, your Highness.
>>36660590
If by 'feat' you mean 'disastrous accident' then yes.
>>
>>36660603
>If by 'feat' you mean 'disastrous accident' then yes.
One leads to the other.
>>
>>36660572
We don't have notepads but we can lend you a blank book and we'll file a carbon copy away when we get the chance
>>
>>36660538
Oh good, you're still alive. I need to know what spells would be considered profane by Lloth. I have a plan.
>>
>>36660660
>>36660660
Her Highness has requested she not be disturbed during her sleep.
>>
>>36660592
it is not in a librarian's nature to disturb others
>>
>>36660669
Then you tell me what spells that you know would piss off Lloth. I am in exactly no mood for games.
>>
>>36660645
I'll buy my own, don't worry. I doubt the messy scribbles of an artificer are going to much of interest.

That idea of keeping a paper by your bed in case you have an idea is rubbish by the way.
I tried it, nothing for a month. Then I wake up and "Cheese golem? YES." Was written, next to a little smiling slice of cheese with stick figure limbs with two thumbs up.
Rubbish.
>>
>>36660696
I have some spells that cause the death of copious amounts of spiders, rater wide ranging too. If you spend a little time with it, it can span a country.
And yes, it works in a sphere, so the Underdark is affected as well.
>>
>>36660696
I know Lolth despises purification and lightcasting spells, as well as those which harm spiders or various malevolently-aligned creatures in particular.
What do you need these for, anyways?
>>
>>36660717
Is it a curse? I also need it to be localized. Anything other than spider genocide would be preferable as well, since we cant piss of thedrow we're allied with, and since they are a major part of the ecosystem, cant piss off the druids either anymore. I need something from a witch's school of casting. This bitch is losing her army by week's end, I swear it.
>>36660728
Ungentlemanly warfare. My restaurant was attacked, so was one of the decoy rooms for my method of longevity, as well as my backup plan. As you know, I am quite skilled at making a spell look like it was cast by someone else. As well as imitating certain spell effects by hamisting together various schools. So I'm going to make her lose support. From every. Single. Avenue. This is the absolute last straw. She will be completely bereft of allies, and then this game will turn interesting.
>>
>>36660710
Oh goodness of course. I know that feeling, I too have woken up to find a piece of paper with scribblings of foodstuffs related to my work. Given how popular they are we plan on distributing a paperback with childish animations sometime
>>
>>36660773
You mean, of course, make it look like Jheska is attacking the drow?
>>
>>36660773
Well I have this doodad that absorbs all biological matter in a wide range, but it's rather dangerous.
>>
>>36660786
No. I mean to trick Lloth into revoking her favor.
>>36660787
I'll keep it in mind.
>>
Is that the time? I need to get back to the workshop. I dread to think how far we are with that porter.
Good meeting you.. Various sapients. I'd forgotten how fun a guild could be. Ta-ra! And don't forget, I'm just off the market square if you need a construct!
>>
>>36660814
It is certainly worth a shot.
In any case, I must be off. I must see to it that her Highness is not disturbed, since disruptions are frequent in this guild.
>>
You all are still here? I knew higher level magicks let you ignore some bodily needs, but this seems a bit much.

As for that purple marble, I found out two things. First, whatever magical girl was using it last appears to have been a fervent admirer of Noel. Second, it appears to be waiting for a trigger condition of some kind.
>>
>>36660846
Most bodily needs are highly exaggerated in my opinion.
>>
>>36660846
I would be careful with the magic of Magical Girls. It can be a curse as often as a boon. Then again, knowing Noel the trigger condition is likely either intense heat or intense emotion.
>>
>>36660862
Agreed. THOUGH some of us here fade IN and out.
>>
>>36660862
Sometimes I wish I attended a school of magics so I could understand how that would feel
>>
>>36660846
DON'T TOUCH IT
>>
>>36660892
I could arrange it so you don't need as much as people advertise, it will take like.. 20 minutes, just pop by my lab.
>>
>>36660865
I know their stuff can get...weird. That's why I've been taking as many precautions as are feasible, but from what I can tell it's not going to activate until it wants to.

>>36660900
I've been touching it since I found it - Soros confirmed it isn't cursed, and it isn't going to do anything by accidentally rubbing it the wrong way.
>>
>>36660960
What about the scrying wards, have you discerned the source?
>>
>>36660892
Careful about THAT. We do not regret much, BUT the ability to taste WAS lost to us when we became one. Yes we no LONGER need to eat, but it would be nice TO taste things again.

On an unrelated note, WHO keeps summoning mephits ASKING them to do something and then SETTING them loose?
It isn't so bad with a few of THEM, but we saw some of the FIRE ones wandering around the nearby town. A LITTLE too close to the school.
>>
>>36660964
No, but I do know that new ones weren't put in in my room while I slept. I'm not entirely sure if I should be comforted by that or not.

also someone should archive this soon, we're on page 10
>>
>>36660964
Wards against scrying or for scrying? Also Morning everyone.
>>
>>36661685
Morning Soros.
I think someone else has the primary meeting hall reserved in like.. five minutes.
>>
>>36661708
How? This is mages guild site all guilds hold meeting on their own grounds. So what did I here about Scrying wards? Also how goes you research?
>>
>>36661738
Oh, progress marches on. I recently managed to make something as big as a wyvern self replicate.
About the reservations, I'm honestly not sure, but it says so on the roster.
>>
>>36661756
Likely some one pranking us like last time. Was the replication clean or sticky?
>>
>>36661778
Sticky at first, but it dries right quick.
Apparantly they're infesting the rafters in the west wing, they started with just one!
>>
>>36661794
Just capture one and cast chain destruction on it, the rest will die in short order. keep the notes though seems like they'd be useful once you iron out the kinks.
>>
>>36661817
I don't particularly mind having them around really, they're great for getting rid of pests.
There has been some complaints from the apprentices though, apparantly.
>>
I'm here, I'm he- oh... I missed the whole meeting didn't I?
>>
>>36661838
They're hungry the will eat you apprentices.

>>36661971
Pretty much it started last night.
>>
>>36661996
Well, I was busy in the bone garden I'm making out of the old Druid grove and missed there was a meeting until just now. Anything of interest that happened during this meeting?
>>
>>36662014
Samantha found an old Magical girl relic in some books of their, and Noel found out about Jheska's daughter staying here for safety while the other drow hunt that bitch. Apparently Jheska tried to off her daughter who is a princess of a major house and chosen of Lolth. I also had a very nasty vision regarding the proposed expedition to the northern barrens, it made my chaos blight flare up.
>>
>Creates a magical piss forest in the lobby
>>
>>36662102
*Throws out a crystal that devours the forest of piss* Get that magical realm shit out of the lobby, deviant.
>>
>>36662131
>Is also made of piss and is devoured by the orb
"What a world, what a world!"
>>
>>36662156
This apprentices is why magical realms never work for traps or strongholds. Way too easy to negate or use against the maker.
>>
>>36662174
"But what if you built it for a specific person in mind so that they fall right into the magical realm trap?"
>>
>>36662207
That would require an obscene amount of planning and even then if you don't know the person better than you know yourself they are likely to do something to mess it up. If that someone is in a group it's even harder to properly.
>>
>>36662231
"Wouldn't someone skilled in Divination be able to pull it off?"
>>
>>36662249
Possibly but that someone would be fighting people with epic destines and things obscured to time. Against an average party certainly against actual foes function should matter over form.
>>
>>36662249
"Everyone knows that divination is a crock of shit, Krogrr."
>>
>>36662287
Apprentice, do you really think that is a wise thing to say in front of me?
>>
>>36662320
"Please forgive my brother. He's ......Himself."
>>
>>36662337
He's lucky he didn't say something denigrating about necromancy in front of one of their professors, he'd be dancing about as a skeleton before the day was through. Foolishness is not something to be cultivated as a mage.
>>
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>>36662337
"Hey man, don't talk about me like I'm not here!"
>Headbutts krogrr
>>
>>36662423
"OW!"
>Headbutts Brogrr
>>
>>36662423
Siamese twins or magical experiment? Might want to get the Fleshwarpers to separate you two.
>>
>>36662460
I didn't do it!
Fleshwarping is nothing but crude biomancy though, so I could probably fix it.
>>
>>36662460
"Hey, this is how our species looks! dammit Krogrr, you said this place was some gay place of understanding"
>>
>>36662476
Say that in front of Lupa, the fight would be hilarious to see.

>>36662482
You're way to small to be an ettin and the only other races that have two sentient separate heads are outsiders which due to an edict from the kingdom can't be schooled here.
>>
>>36662061
Let Samantha know I would very much like to take a look at that relic. I haven't given up on the Magical Girl Department just yet!
>>
>>36662522
"B-but we already paid for tuition!"
>>
>>36662522
Oh please, I know Lupa takes pride in her work, but all she does is stitch together things that already exist, it's childs play compared to coaxing it forward from singular cells.
It's like comparing a painting of life to life itself.

>>36662541
I can help with the head problem.
>>
>>36662552
"What head problem?"
>>
>>36662533
Will do if I talk to her before you do.

>>36662541
Then talk to the Fleshwarpers about it but cite lack of money to afford it. Trying to give you two an out.

>>36662552
She spliced together and created 4 new species this year, underestimate her at your peril. She may look nice but that is only skin deep trust me.
>>
>>36662561
Well, if you need one head, and you have two, that's a head problem.
>>
>>36662570
Do they breed true Soros? Because if they do not breed true it is not a species but a chimera and abomination.
They have their place, no doubt. But it's still just a chimera.
>>
>>36662375
That makes me curious...
>>36662561
What are your thoughts on Necromancy?
>>
>>36662584
They smaller ones have bred true, the new one big hasn't been made a mate yet.

>>36662585
Oh boy this will be a broom wreck..
>>
>>36662570
Thank you Soros, I'll try to make it to the meeting.
>>
>>36662570
>Look of absulute horror
>>36662574
"Two heads are better then one."
>>36662585
"Not my favorite school, but it has it's uses."
>>
>>36662603
Excellent! I'm proud of Lupa then.
Now mind you I wasn't saying she isn't skilled in her pursuit, but the stitching of life is a section of biomancy, it is deep and it is difficult, but it is still a narrow niché in the discipline.
>>
>>36662570
"What my brother meant is We already paid and we're not LEAVING until we get our monies worth of education, Man."

>>36662574
"two heads are better then one.'

>>36662585
"I like the blastly spells from that school."
>>
>>36662619
>>36662642
...good answers.

I'll go see with my contacts if I can't get one of the Lich Lawyers to look over the legality of your studies. Don't worry, the Liches have the best lawyers in the kingdom, they should be able to find a loophole that lets you continue your studies.
>>
>>36662619
You just make it look like a condition just play it off, that way no one can kick you out of the guild.

>>36662620
She been making truebreeding monsters for centuries.

>>36662642
See above. Discretion is useful for a mage especially a young one.
>>
>>36662522
>due to an edict from the kingdom can't be schooled here.
Wait.. Since when did we care?
>>
>>36662673
"A wonderful idea, sir."
>>
>>36662673
"That's the most retarded thing I ever heard."
>>36662706
>Headbutts Krogrr
"I AM NOT A DISABILITY AND NEITHER ARE YOU!"
>>
>>36662676
It is a RATHER old law. We had to skirt around it by MEANS of us not being a complete outsider anymore, BUT the law is on the books.
I believe IT HAS something to do with trusting a being that HAILS from another realm with intimate knowledge of the material realm via magic. That or one of the ELEMENTAL crusades that happened ages AGO.
>>
>>36662676
Since they are a major funder for us and they are the only thing keeping several other guilds and factions from declaring open war on us.

>>36662706
>>36662722
Way to play it perfectly you two.
>>
>>36662728
>>36662736
Oh, right, I should probably fire a few of my apprentices then.
I thought we just ignored it and didn't tell anyone.
>>
>>36662747
Plausible deniability Marus just "ask" them to fake it.
>>
Apologies all for the abrupt leave, some fae got into the library and turned all book spines into actual spines.
>>
>>36662747
Well, we do that too. If anyone asks questions about apprentices who we might not be allowed to teach, claim ignorance and at worst you will just lose an apprentice.

>>36662728
Oh so that's when the law is from, well that makes it simple. None of those laws are necroproofed, if they are resurrected or reanimated within the kingdom's borders they no longer fall under the law's definition of outsider.
>>
>>36662780
I don't see the problem.

>>36662757
>>36662786
Whelp, well, next time I'll know.
>>
>>36662780
Really? Well I'm going to enjoy my next visit to the library then, that sounds like something I need to do to my books.
>>
>>36662798
Well of course you wouldn't, we had to donate the spines to your department and rebind the books
>>36662824
It wasn't that appealing, we only do it for the necromancy books but use dried spines, these were fresh and the fluids made the ink run. I know how you guys like the tattered beaten look but when you cannot read the page theres a problem. But hey if you bring the books by we'll bind them with some of the left over spines
>>
This thread is about to fall off, is a new one going to be started after it?



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