[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [cm / hm / y] [3 / adv / an / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / x] [rs] [status / ? / @] [Settings] [Home]
Board:  
Settings   Home
4chan
/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: WIZARDS.jpg (44 KB, 336x425)
44 KB
44 KB JPG
Ladies and Gentlemen of our illustrious guild, I apologize for the frequency between this meeting and the last, but it has come to my attention that someone is in fact trying to steal the 12 days of wizardmas. This simply can not happen, as I have a lovely wizardmas vacation planned using funds from the reagent budg- I mean from my personal vacation fund. Non refundable tickets of course, because I too make mistakes on occasion. Nevertheless, we must find this fiend, for our wizardmas rituals are our best line of defense against the wicked Kramus.
>>
Krog get krunk from hemomancers. Hemomancer Krog friend.
>>
>>36855571
Wait what, they're brewing now? Do they have eggnog?
>>
>>36855362
Again?!? Seems like every year some cloaked villain with an ominous voice and glowing eyes tries to confound a lovely holiday. Where's that Lawmagus when you actually need him?
>>
File: 21328818_p3.jpg (257 KB, 709x1001)
257 KB
257 KB JPG
I'm still about. Don't know how much help i'll be with your Wizardmas problem or anything. I'm much better suited to my duty of preventing the assassins from killing you.
>>
>>36855362
This is unusual.
I like it.

Any idea who the perpetrator is?
>>
>>36855689
Could be Grinchax, the green curmudgeony troll that lives up in the mountains.
>>
>>36855713
Wait, he's still alive?
...That means...

>>36855681
Also, I don't mind you waylaying my apprentices in their spare time, but could you please leave less claw marks on them?
I prefer not to have them nervously approach me to ask if I may fix their backs.
>>
>>36855689
In my homeland there is a tale of six to eight drow that are slaves to Santa Claws, and are forced to assist him. Perhaps there was an uprising?
>>
File: 20143263_p0.jpg (442 KB, 1467x1200)
442 KB
442 KB JPG
>>36855754
No promises, But Ill try. Though I'm sure they aren't complaining
>>
>>36855796
Do you have ANY idea how much of your hair is all over my nice EVERYTHING?
>>
>>36855796
That's not very paladin-like of you.

>>36855754
He is indeed still alive. Some people say he's been working with Sek'Kuar, but I think he's just a miserable old codger.
>>
>>36855796
Well, not to you perhaps.
Although I suppose morale has been rather high lately, so I should thank you for that.

>>36855770
Well that sounds downright sinister, we should look into that.
>>
Good news friends! I have a body again! I met with an old colleague from my time alive (Elves are quite long lived) and, with he help of her cousin, a Dwarven smith (I asked, but she wouldn't explain how this worked) I am fleshed again! Well, not actual flesh, we both thought that'd be gross. Instead it is molded from a magical bronze that's a bit like Dragonskin, but smooth and jewel encrusted. My hair was darker in life, but just as thick, luscious, and curly. I wasn't this muscular though, but she assured me this went better with my handsome features, and I was inclined to agree. We even reattached my penis, which made all this possible, while making the same improvements to match the rest of my body! And to think, all it cost me was two measly days from the wizard calendar. On an unrelated note, Wizardmas has been downgraded to 10 days instead of 12.
>>
>>36855818
I'll put my best men on the case.
>>36855821
GAAAAAAASP. Have we been selling wizardmas?
>>
>>36855821
"Radiant Beauty"? Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you?
We don't need to hear about your cosmetic surgeries, dear. We've got troll problems.
>>
File: 7710327_p7.jpg (133 KB, 566x800)
133 KB
133 KB JPG
>>36855816
I don't hear anyone complaining when I'm sprawling about the place and practicing my flexing.
>>36855817
I'm a very nonstandard paladin. That's why I'm the representative between my Order and your guild for our arrangement. Wouldn't want someone who would go off smiting you for having a slightly varied view of things.
>>36855818
And there is of course the dead assassins I leave at whoever door they were trying to kill. I suspect that one has more impact on putting up with me than morale. Funny how easy most of them get distracted.
>>
>>36855846

Have you not?

>>36855851

Please, Rodir, don't think I did not see how pleased you were I decided to enter with my robe open.
>>
>>36855853
I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS
>>36855821
You got a new one too? Come brother, FLEX WITH ME!
>Conspierre's clothing explodes into tatters, leaving only a pair of shorts
That was a lot less impressive when you realize I wasn't actually wearing anything but the shorts, but hot damn do I love having a nice body. I didn't even have to work for it, I just let Lupa make it!
>>
>>36855853
Thanks for that, by the way. I'm not sure who wants me dead, but it may have something to do with pissing off that Elder Dragon a few years back...
>>36855879
Honestly Ezekial, behave. You're a fine necromancer, but you know as well as I that bronze, bejeweled skin isn't doing it for me.
>>
>>36855883
Honestly! Could we have a little modesty among mages?
You don't see me popping my tits out at every meeting!
>>
File: 21937498_p4.jpg (52 KB, 300x300)
52 KB
52 KB JPG
>>36855883
That's not MY fault.
>>36855899
Its my duty, But clearly you haven't pissed them off enough if they cant be bothered to send an assassin who would rather watch me bathe than get his job done.
>>
>>36855883
That may backfire on you. Do you feel a tendency to gnaw on bones and drink blood yet?

>>36855926
Yes we do... We just thought you were doing it on purpose and were politely not mentioning it.
>>
>>36855926
No, no we can not, because there is not yet a rule against me wearing only shorts.
>Continues moderately obscene flexing
>>
>>36855936
What? No of course not. Standard bone and muscle density improvements, improved reflexes, balance, less bacne, potbelly is gone, no more gray hairs in my sinister goatee. I paid quite well for it, and Lupa is known for her work.
>>
>>36855936
...did someone replace my robes with invisible cloth again?
Godsdamnit, I'm surrounded by perverts!
>>36855933
Eh, maybe next time they'll send a gay assassin. Or a warforged.
>>
File: 20094914_p0.jpg (438 KB, 800x1000)
438 KB
438 KB JPG
>>36855980
Perhaps. Maybe they will even put up a fight instead of just letting me stab them. That would be great!
>>
My goodness!!!! Who would do such a thing??
>>
>>36856052
Well, I can hardly blame them for staring.

Back on topic, we've recently been having some very calm aether flow.
This is extremely odd, because the aether around this place is usually fluctuating like crazy. What's going on? Did you guys start using non-aetherial power sources?
>>
>>36855933
No, it is not, but it IS your fault for not cleaning up after yourself. I will overlook the systemic massacre of my stores of seafood, as it is there to be eaten, but you just left the carcasses by my door! WHY? Did you think I can't catch them on my own?
>>
>>36856090
Do I need to cast aether bind or what?

>>36856106
Leave the girl alone, it's just in her nature!
>>
>>36856140
Now why would you need to that my fellow spell caster who uses spells just like I clearly do?
>>
>>36856140
SHE IS ENTIRELY CAPABLE OF THOUGHT AND MANNERS. As for the stable Aether, there have been numerous improvements to the guild hall after its reconstruction.
>>
>>36856161
Let's see some Prestidigitation.
Even druids can use that one.
>>36856166
I should hope that they've used proper channeling structures this time. The old ones didn't so much channel aether as they did forcibly eject it from the surrounding area.
>>
>>36855883

Yes, it is quite nice not to be a desiccated corpse! I can enjoy the simple pleasures in life again! Like food, and wine, and the baker's daughter!

>>36855899

I didn't do this for you, I leave my robe open for EVERYONE to glory.

Also, you're a woman? It's been so long since such a thing has mattered to me that all you living things began to look like and I was secretly beginning to hate you all for it, as being unfeeling leaves one a bit bitter.

Which reminds me, I have to... Err... Clean a few things up. In my lab. Not sentient diseases, why would you even think that?
>>
>>36856184
I am insulted!!!! What are you implying???
>>
>>36856194
Alright, we'll do it the diplomatic way.
>Detect Magic

>>36856193
Yes I'm a woman! But that doesn't mean I want to see you naked!
>>
>>36856184
>>36856194

I know what you're thinking, Rodir, but I believe I recognize this one. This is... Shemp? Yes, he and his brothers were mainstays in my classes some years ago. Quite funny in the way thaey'd smack each other about when one of them said or did something wrong. Constantly hitting each other with large pieces of wood by mistake too.
>>
>>36856194
Oh drop the act, I've got a job for you. I need a lock of hair from a particular individual for a spellcasting component.
>>
File: 28203141_p0.jpg (49 KB, 500x500)
49 KB
49 KB JPG
>>36856106
Well actually, Ye-
>>36856140
Well I-
>>36856166
Certainly I am.
>>
>>36856234
Then please answer, why would I need fish carcasses when I am capable of catching live fish, and why did you trash my home and beloved restaurant?
>>
>>36856222

I don't get you living people. You're always stripping and rutting whenever you get a free moment in a abandoned corridor, or in my office when you think I'm meditating, or in the school gardens, or wherever, but I come in freely naked and unashamed, and that it somehow a problem.

You know, in my day, we appreciated the nude form, not for it's ability to grind and mash and moan, but for it's innate beauty and ingenuity. The best magicians of my time practiced exclusively in the nude, as the aether flowed freer that way.

I don't know what's wrong with living people today.

It's like you've never seen a radiantly beautiful bronze man with a jewel encrusted penis.
>>
>>36856254
I am unsure of your ability to hunt. Most of the wizards here infact. I wouldn't want any of you to starve to death on my watch It would look bad for me.
>>
>>36856254
>>36856287
Pierre, if it will make you happy, I will take her out hunting with me.
>>36856281
Most people aren't fuck-happy pervs, and there are even a few mages who aren't. Myself included.
>>
>>36856222
Oh dear!! How rude!!!
>>36856225
No no Im Ronsal see?
>>36856232
storage cabinet. One hour. Come alone and unarmed.
>>
>>36856287
Unsure of...I-worrying about star.....I OWN A RESTAURANT.
>Casts illusory agony on one of the wyverns in the rafters. It falls to the ground screaming, as its kin huddle in a corner trying to look small.
OH LOOK WHAT I JUST CAUGHT.
>>
>>36856316
>Responds in thieve's cant, "But of course, although I don't see the point in a wizard being unarmed."
>>
>>36856315
I could go for getting out and hunting
>>36856318
Well, Nothing yet. You just pretended to hurt it. If it were smart it would realize you haven't done anything and eat you. What if you try eating food that's not real and start starving?
>>
>>36856318
The wyverns are back ALREADY?
I thought that at least with the old guild hall gone we'd be rid of them!
>>
>>36856336
doesn't hurt to have the bases covered. Also will i get to throw sharp objects at people/living organisms? thats my favorite part[\spoiler]
>>
>>36856352
Never fear! I cast "throwing knife". See i clearly just killed that one with a magic projectile
>>
>>36856346
Wonderful, I've always wanted a cat!
<whisper>And a friend...</whisper>

>>36856384
Mhm. Well as long as you stick to 'casting' on evil people we won't have a problem.
>>
>>36856093
I just started recycling the heat leakage from my projects.

>>36856193
Oooh, can I see the diseases?

>>36856352
>>36856384
Damn it people! Stop killing my pets!
>>
>>36856352
Someone needed them. I've been working hard at domesticating them.
>>36856346
I promise you, it's in quite a lot of pain. Even if the physical effects of pain on the body aren't present, it still feels it. If I wanted to kill it, I would. I'm still training them to not attack people that walk in here.
>>36856370
I'm sure a dead bodyguard or two wouldn't go amiss, but you won't be able to kill the mark. High powered cleric, accomplished witch, paranoid enough to guard against most things. I'd recommend the honeypot for this one.
>>
File: 22351302_p2.jpg (459 KB, 722x1000)
459 KB
459 KB JPG
If anyone was wondering why I let a rogue wander around here, He doesn't seem very threatening and I'm fairly certain most of you could crush most of his bones with a thought.
>>36856399
Errh...Wanted a Cat? Careful what you imply Wizard.
>>36856403
I guess perhaps you can hunt for your own. At the least you can run away while predators work through the illusion! Maybe you can eat carrion!
>>
>>36856440
Or I can topple a kingdom, rob the treasury on the way out, AND BUY FOOD AT THE STORE OR MAGIC IT INTO EXISTENCE.
>>
>>36856403
So that's what those eggs are in my secret thief- i mean... magic workshop. They must have gotten loose and are breeding in there
eeeeeeeeeeexcellent. I will enjoy this
>>
>>36856315

Maybe not now you're not, but when you were an acolyte... Or maybe you weren't. So many of the acolytes pull this crap, I just assume they all did. I am pretty sure Conspierre, when he was still in training, is the one that told the other acolyte that Liches need to meditate to recover magical energy. Which isn't true. I was aware of everything and extremely confused as to what was happening, as it had been many years since I had seen the act done.

And then all of his damned class kept trying for that until I let hellhounds run around my office and the hall outside my office.
>>
>>36856440
Nothing meant by it dear, I just think cats are so adorable!
>pets fluffy ears
>>36856462
When I was an acolyte, I spent half of my time studying and half of my time not being consumed by aether storms.
>>
>>36856462
Oh please, you're still on about that? I know for a fact that my old teacher was far more insufferable. Didn't even have the decency to not die laughing. Ugh, Secretus.....good riddance I say.
>>
>>36856352

Rodir, we've ALWAYS had Wyverns in the Guild Halls. ALWAYS. Back when Wizardmas had 173 days, The Mad Old Diviner Erasmus DuCant traded three days to the dragons to make this so.

He then traded two weeks to the paladins so we'd have a new cat girl Paladin in our halls every three months. Of course, we stopped enforcing that bargain when he passed, but every once in a while, the Orders rediscover the old agreement and send one to us, thinking they'll raise our ire if they don't. Personally, I don't see the appeal.
>>
File: 7710327_p8.jpg (115 KB, 566x800)
115 KB
115 KB JPG
>>36856456
"I suppose, But make sure its not just an illusion of food!"
>>36856480
"Erh..." Tail twitching in agitation
>>
>>36856440
my good lady what rogue would you be talking about? I don't see anyone here who is a Rogue. And I'm sure if I did he would be handsome and brilliant and charming enough that no-one would ever see through his disguise.
>>
>>36856533
....
>Casts an illusion of a red dot moving rapidly along the floors and walls.
>>
>>36856480

Oh right, you were the one the other acolytes called frigid and bitchy. "She who needs to get laid" they claled you. Of course, most of those acolytes were failed or eaten by a grue, and now you're one of the best Aether Adepts we've in this hall in a Dargon's age. So, in the end I declare thee the winner.

>>36856483

Ahhhh, I remember old Secretus. My, what an ass he was. I'm glad to see you're keeping up the proud tradition of Conspiramancers being insufferable. It is a shame that so many of institutions of the guild fall by the wayside.

By the way this dead fish carcass is absolutely awful. How wonderful.
>>
>>36856562
Wasn't he though? Had the power to go toe to toe with Soros in a fair fight, and devoted all that to being a complete shit.
>>
>>36856533
S-sorry dear, I've got it out of my system now.
>>36856562
You don't become the living Confluence by sleeping around, after all. Besides, like 90% of my department were men so it's not like I had a lot of options.
>>
File: 22086161.jpg (317 KB, 778x1000)
317 KB
317 KB JPG
>>36856511
Uhh, Whoever told you that last bit was definitely having a lark at your expense.
I'm here to protect you from assassins, And you send wizards to our Order to protect us from Cultist Magi. The arrangement is not even a week old yet.
>>36856536
Right, Sure. Whatever you say. Just don't cause any trouble. If I think I can fight the wizards here, I think your chances should be much worse.
>>36856543
>Just staring at the dot from the corner of her eye, Maybe a twitch here and there when it darts side to side
Anyway... Ill stop leaving you food, But if you starve i'm not taking the blame.
>>36856582
Good.
>>
>>36856590
>The red dot slowly inches closer and closer to your foot
Well, even if I do, I'll just pop in in a new body.
>>
>>36856590
The kitchens are well stocked as far as I know.
Also, I successfully managed to breed a new strain of catnip if that sort of thing interests you.

>>36856582
Well, you could, the two aren't mutually exclusive.
>>
*ahem* excuse me my esteemed fellow mages, who I am clearly a peer of, should we not insepct the area where the great treasures (salivating) including the 12 days of Wizardmas are held? I happen to specialize in... um... Security!!! magic so we should umm.. Inspect!!! the vault to ensure it's security?
>>
> Doraeshi art
I have no part in this, but I just wanted to say that you have good taste.
>>
>>36856608
I'm not sure I want to see what happens if the Confluence is developed by a pervert. It feeds heavily on ambition and emotion, and we've already got one plane of Magical Realms.
>>36856590
Well, if you're still up for hunting there's a few gladebucks in the southern vale. Just let me get my knife.
>>
>>36856626
I'm already paying you handsomely, and even the paladin sniffed you out.
>>
>>36856648
Fool! no-one here has any notion as to my intent!! you're going to blow my cover
>>
Problem! Problem!
Whoever is trying to steal the 12 days pof wizardmas was able to get away with some rather important library books! This is not good people and non-people!
>>
Whynotjustgetthechornomancerstomakenewdaystoreplacetheoldones?
>>
>>36856655
Dr. Stabby got drunk and outed you. Plus, if you're going to disguise your magical talent, wands are the way to go.
>>
>>36856658
Hehe... those books had funny pictures in them
>>
>>36856671
They were important to me *sob*
>>
>>36856579

And you do him proud.

>>36856582

Were they? Well, they're dead an you're here.

>>36856590

Girl, I was there. That may be the way we do things now, but that's not how it started!

>>36856626

It is ten days, not twelve. The exchange of the last two for the new body was well spent I may add.
>>
>>36856669
Firstly Dr. Stabby would never do such a thing!!! He is a true friend and he always has my back!!! Secondly, I know for a fact you don't speak otter!!! so Dr. Stabby has told you nothing!!!!!
>>
>>36856671
What does someone who can't read need with books, anyhow?
>>36856665
Because apparently some mages have been selling days out, and making new days will cause rapid inflation, crashing the market.
>>
>>36856689
Dr. Stabby, as in the old man who keeps trying to find a new leader for the thieves guild. He frequently shows up here.
>>
>>36856690

Whyshouldwecareaboutthecurrentvalueofdays?

>sips from mug

Weneedit,wemagicitintoexistence.Itiswhatwealwaysdo.

Onlythosewithoutaccesstounlimiteddaysshouldcareabouttheirworth.
>>
>>36856687
>Well they're dead and you're here.
What are you suggesting? I'm still a busy woman! I couldn't just snag some bint and waste time with her!
>>
File: 13532095_p0.jpg (165 KB, 720x900)
165 KB
165 KB JPG
>>36856605
>Stares at the dot and then with an effort of will pointedly ignores it
Its your life to live I guess.
>>36856608
Catnip has no effect on me.
>>36856629
A wizard that hunts with a Knife? Interesting. I thought most of your kind spoiled the meat with magic.
>>36856687
Right uh... I'm sure.
>Mumbling "Senility in wizards, Always dangrous"
>>
>>36856690
What books? I certainly did not steal any precious books from the library two nights ago while scouting the place? How would I have done that?
>>
>>36856690
Whoever stole them must have understood what they are, these aren't simple spell books. They are books the library had set up on the ban list. To prevent anyone from reading them. Ever. We hid them in the sub cata-tomes and someone must have known exactly where they are
>>
>>36856763
Maybe you know of any clues that would lead us to the capture of whomever stole the books?
>>
>>36856703
Dr. Stabby is my pet otter and is the truest of companions. I know not who you speak of.
>>36856766
.....ooops
>>
>>36856755
>Moves the dot directly onto your nose
Catnip has no effect? Not with that attitude it doesn't.
>>
>>36856690
>>36856747

This one gets it! We don't make new days until we're down to the last one, and then we sell it at a premium, before releasing the new Holiday upon the world.

Haven't you ever wondered how we got the first guild hall or why we no longer celebrate Wizard Solstice?

>>36856752

I'm suggesting that you won, and that you will one day convince yourself that your mastery of the arcane is much more meaningful and important than someone to share your bed at night, or any notions of love.

You know, like the rest of us have.
>>
>>36856755
Important, currently unanswered questions about catgirls:

> Does their hair floof up when they get angry, excited, or scared?
> Do they turn into people-shaped fluffballs when surprised?
> Do they have a tongue like a cat or a human? Can they clean themselves with it?
> Do they express themselves like humans, where its almost entirely in the face, or like cats, where it’s mostly body language?
> if they do express like cats, how much do they talk when interacting with others of their race? Considering cats mainly just meow for the benefit of humans, and communicate through body language with their own species.
> Do they have the same reaction to milk and pork as cats do, or are they fine eating them?
> What are their thoughts on string instruments?
> Can you trap them with water bottles?
>>
>>36856766
Lovely, now we have forbidden tomes running about.
Well, we could always have the Canonomancers render said books fallible.
>>36856755
Nah, I like the proper thrill of the hunt. My magic is for work only.
>>36856747
Because we still do business with other guilds, and it's in good form not to crash every economy we're involved in. The currencymancers wouldn't like it.
>>
>>36856778
Ummm.. maybe you should try asking.. oh.. idunno... the Malevolent-Outcast-sorcerer-who-lives-under-the-mountain?? Just a stab in the dark y'know?
hehe stab in the dark
>>
>>36856766

Booksaremissingtoo?

Brothers,whynotjustgobackintimetowhenweknowthedaysandthebookswereinourpossessionandstealthemourselves?

Wewouldstillhavethismeetingbecausethebooksandthedayswerestolen,howeverwewouldthenstealthemourselvespreventingaparadox.

Problemsolved.
>>
>>36855362
Bah Humbug
>>
>>36856840
Dr. Stabby!!!!! Why aren't you an otter any more? did you not like the otter-chow i bought?
>>
Coffee anyone?
>>
>>36856858
I think Twitch needs a bit more.
>>36856840
How dare you?! And after we let you into guild romance battle bingo!
>>
>>36856816

Someoneisdabblinginfetishmancyonthesideitwouldseem.
>>
File: 13532095_p9.jpg (127 KB, 640x800)
127 KB
127 KB JPG
>>36856788
Now you're just being annoying.
>>36856816
No. No. Ask the apprentices. Both. Its subtext. Depends on the person. Annoyingly fascinating
Huh?
>>36856817
There may be hope for you yet then.
>>
Good afternoon everyone.
>>
>>36856781
this isnt good. this isnt good. this isnt good.
Last time a theft of this scale happened the head librarian commanded the thief to be skinned and his flesh to bind the books of which he had stolen why leaving his body to live. The thief was a librarian and was cursed to live an eternity without flesh while his soul was bound to a book
>>36856817
That's an option, I fear that we must retrive the books at all costs first. The library needs them back in their place before any other functions or tasks are permitted.

>>36856826
Doubtful. That man's last book take out was of a series in which a teenage girl meets and falls in love with both a half vampire-werewolf and a halfwerewolf-vampire and has to choose which to stay with. I doubt he knows of good books.

>>36856827
Could....could we do that? These books are more than needed for the library. If they are destroyed, so to are the librarians
>>
>>36856858

Here,goodsir.

Ineverturndownthechancetoexperienceanewbrewofthematerialplane'sfinestelixer.
>>
>>36856874
I have no idea what you're talking about.
>The red dot slowly moves down to a surface near your hand and begins making slow circles.
>>
>>36856858
please -:-
>>
>>36856891
But how can that be he hired me persona- I mean!! um... MORTIMER DID IT!!! I SAW HIM
>>
>>36856930
MORTIIMMMEEERRRR!!!!
>>
>>36856901
Here you go
>>36856914
Here you go
>>36856947
What did I do
>>
>>36856858
Always a pleasure to see you, Mortimer. Do you have any tea, by chance?
>>36856801
But I already prioritize my duties and my magic over romance, that's been the point.
Or are you saying I shouldn't be seeking real love, and just lust? Because that I cannot do.
>>36856910
Stop teasing the poor dear, Pierre!
>>
>>36856910
>James' shadow splits and a cat eared shadow dashes after the dot, causing the dot to vanish
>>
>>36856960
Here you go

Has anyone seen Soros?
>>
>>36856957
DID YOU STEAL THE BOOKS!?!?! Ronsal Said You Did! *sip*
>>
>>36856960
And miss an opportunity to cross out a square on shenanigans bingo?
>>
>>36856874
>Huh?
Cats, habitually, do not know how to deal with simple plastic bottles, like water bottles and the like. If you put a ring of them around a cat, the cat will stay there, paralyzed in confusion.
>>36856910
Tut. There's no need to tease the lesser races in a dignified meeting.
>>
>>36856980
Awww.. the little shiny is gone... I was gonna stea- I mean... study it
>>
>>36856986
Where they gardening books?
>>
>>36856853
"What are you talking about?"
>>36856871
"............."
>>
File: 21937498_p0.jpg (268 KB, 778x1000)
268 KB
268 KB JPG
>>36856910
>Shows no reaction until >>36856980 the shadow elicits a teeth bared hiss for a split second before she recovers, Then she adjusts her armor and pretends like nothing happened
>>
>>36856980
Fine, ruin my fun why don't you.
>>36856985
I thought he was rebuilding the Orrery, he should be here soon.
>>36856993
And how do you know that you're not actually a catgirl under a permanent delusion spell?
>>36857031
Look, if Steve can become some kind of genius at it, I'm sure you can manage.
>>
was i turned into an otter for missing the last thread?
>>
>>36857036
Oh, its you. would you like some coffee?
>>
>>36857053
No, I think he just has a pet otter named Dr. Stabby by pure coincidence. Surely.
>>
>>36857050
>And how do you know that you're not actually a catgirl under a permanent delusion spell?
Solipism is unbecoming. Let us not indulge, today.
>>36857036
I'm afraid I came in late. What brings a warrior to a gathering of magi like this?
>>
>>36857031
You are Dr. Stabby. Who is my otter companion and it must be so because two characters clearly couldnt have same name and I clealy didnt confuse myself on something. Duh
>>
>>36857078
aka this. srry
>>
>>36857095
Or was the otter in fact, a figment of your imagination all along? Perhaps some cunning and exceedingly handsome and mysterious wizard merely convinced you that you had a pet otter.
>>
>>36857028
No -.- They were heavily restricted novels, some of which are too powerful for any wizard, even headmasters, and others are even more important. Librarians have their souls bound to their favorite novel when they pass their apprenticeship as so that they can serve their library indefinitly. Much like becoming a lich but we don't become generic assholes to others.
Whomever stole the novels also stole books for three of the librarians in the school. If those books are destroyed in a way a librarian cannot fix than the person also has killed three members of this guild that have served here for over a millennium
>>
OHMYMAGIC!

Thearmoa!
Theearthytones!
Theswirlsofoilfromthefreshgroundbeans!
Theperfecttemperature!

Mygoodsir,Mortimer,thisisafantasticbrewofcoffee.
>>
Sup losers! How's everyone doing today?
>>
>>36857126
Shall I lend Marco to help track this thieve down?
>>36857132
Thanks for the compliment
>>36857154
Coffee?
>>
File: 25249663_p4.jpg (175 KB, 637x902)
175 KB
175 KB JPG
>>36856960
I do not need you to defend me.

>>36856993
I do not know what a plastic bottle is,
I can put up with plenty of racism but there are limits and I am reaching mine.

>>36857062
No thanks, I may be excusing myself shortly. I'm not one to enjoy so much of the rooms attention placed on me.

>>36857084
A few meetings ago I arrived and secured a pact between my order and your guild of mutal protection. It seems news travels slowly around here. Since I had the most experience dealing with wizards...
>Maybe a bit too much of a grin there
They sent me for the first watch. And i've already rooted out five assassins. Its quite fun. They hide like mice. All focused on preventing the magical detection and forgetting the physical.
>>
>>36857154
Oh you know, the usual. Nefarious schemes and what not.
>>
>>36857126
double oops
>>36857123
Maybe... but it was probably just some fluke of the aura or lifestream or whatever... No-one could ever pull that kind of ruse on me!!!!! right?
>>
>>36857164
That would be lovely! Do you need any help, by the way?
>>
>>36857095
>>36857122
"....You named an otter after me.....Okay look I don't care about that. What I want to know is why are you here?"
Huehue that's cool!
>>
>>36857183
No, Marco can handle this.
>>
>>36857154
Not well at all. Someone stole extremely sensitive works from the library
>>36857164
Everyone you can. Other books were stolen detailing the guild's hidden agenda, specific killings, not to mention ways in which to destroy magic across whole planes. If the person understand what they read they may have a way to end this guild entirely
>>
>>36856985
Thanks Mortimer. And sadly, no. I think he's in the Orrery.
>>36857171
>sad face
I... sorry.
>>
>>36857171
>I can put up with plenty of racism but there are limits and I am reaching mine.
Oh, tut. The catfolk rarely enter elven settlements, while cats act as familiars all the time. I'm learning what is and is not appropriate among them. Surely you can't fault an old lady her curiosity.
>>
>>36857180
I'm sure there is no one here that specializes in nonsensical plots for petty laughs. I mean, it would take weeks of strategically hiding in your house placing otter droppings by the door and rubbing fish oil on your things, with a few well placed illusions to let you catch glimpses of an otter as it appears to leave to go hunting for more fish.
>>
>>36857198
I am clearly a member of this guild and not a diguised rogue sent here to cause mayhem and steal precious tomes and such. Don't you remember me?
>>
>>36857171
I'm going to do you both a favor and just say she's interested in you. As for the elf, she's extremely old and set in her ways and is having difficulty coping with a changing world.
>>
>>36857217
Exactly!!!! I am glad someone here is talking sense
>>
File: vraal.jpg (180 KB, 250x347)
180 KB
180 KB JPG
>>36857200
All righty then.

Marco, hunt
>>
I typically try to hold my tongue at these meetings, but this misappropriation of literary resources is hardly worth noticing. I'm sure the books are in good talons, wherever they are, and we should turn our attention to more important things.
>>
>>36857154
Hey Vex, good evening.

>>36857164
Yes please Mortimer.

>>36857251
Aaaw, Marco grew up, he's so cute!
>>
>>36857264
Like the inspection of the treasures vault!!!
>>
>>36857278
REVEAL YOUR SECRETS!
>Flexes menacingly
>>
>>36857264

Ididfindanexcerptfromanunknowntomeintheprivvyafewmomentsbeforethismeetingbegan.

Isitfromthemissingworks?
>>
>>36857200
Uh oh... They wouldn't happen to have been stolen by little mushroom-spiders in the night, would they? While I sleep, my minions like to gather gifts for me, and they haven't quite been trained to avoid your hall yet.

>>36857176
So did you guys locate that Jheska bitch yet?
>>
File: 27814710_p4.jpg (216 KB, 847x1200)
216 KB
216 KB JPG
>>36857202
You mean well but I do not need protecting.

>>36857216
I do not care about your questions, I will ignore them if they offend me, But referring to someone as a lesser race is rude, Though I suppose your kind cant help that. I think I heard your word for other races was just 'Not us' or something? There is quite a difference between us and the pets that other races keep. It is a VERY touchy subject among my kind. In fact I bit my tongue on a much more insulting way of addressing you.

>>36857239
My kind has many problems adapting to other cultures, It should explain a bit that even my outbursts are considered diplomatic compared to what others of my kind would respond with..
>>
>>36857305
I've got a plan that sounds like the beginning of a joke.
>>
>>36857290
Wait, what?
No.
...Which secrets?
>>
>>36857317
Does it end with a basilisk crossing the road? that one is so old....
>>
>>36857301

I do not know, but you should give it to me anyway. For safe keeping.
>>
>>36857305
No it's fine, those adorable buggers leave little silk strings and we would have found them by now
>>
>>36857317
Oh, I got one:

A Mexican Magician says he'll make himself disappear at the count of three.
>Uno
>Dos
And POOF, he disappears without a trace.
>>
>>36857332
Your not wearing your name tag.
>>
>>36857353
Godsdamnit.
Stupid facial masks.
>>
>>36857336

>Hands you a piece of paper conatining the following text

>Inserting a 9-iron into my clearing in the woods got me squirting spaff faster than a greased weasel shit. I can't wait to devour the man fat from his one-eyed milkman. With his ramrod plowing deep into my enchilada of love, the sensation of his giggle stick smashing my cervix made me quake like an epileptic at a Pink Floyd concert. The mixture of butt nugget and baby gravy in my rusty sherif's badge created the delicious sphincter sauce that he was so fond of. When he removed his blue-veined custard chucker from my cocoa channel, he was pleasantly surprised to see a colon cobra staring back as him. He knew I couldn't wait to gobble the sewer trout off his wensleydale wand.
>>
>>36857312
I mean she's interested in the same way the apprentices were. The cat lady, not the elf.
>>36857332
WHO GOES THERE? BY MY FABULOUS SHORT SHORTS CLAD FORM, I WILL FLEX AT YE
>>36857335
It ends with a drow ridiculed and exiled without any magic from her second homeland that she betrayed.
>>
>>36857312
Hell, if anyone needs protecting among these people it's me.
Anyhow, we still on for hunting gladebucks?
>>
>>36857379
HA i love that one!!
>>
>>36857370
Oh its you. you know Marco actually does not age? I had him custom made by Lupa to protect my garden from apprentices
>>
>>36857372

>Shreds the paper and adds it to his nest

... My apologies; merely a reflex.
>>
>>36857397
Well be that as it may, cells age.
He looks all grown up to me.
>>
File: owlbear cubs.jpg (181 KB, 700x906)
181 KB
181 KB JPG
>>36857397
Speaking of which, I managed to adopt one of those interdimensional Owlbears! What should I name the little guy?
>>
>>36857372
I....actually know what that's from. Secretus had this "erotic coworker fiction" phase. I believe that one stars Soros.
>>
>>36857423
Well i've always been partial to the name stanley personally
>>
>>36857416
He as an adult.
>>36857423
Rex?
>>36857434
So who else is featured in those?
>>
>>36857402

So,Iwascurious,andthismightcomeoffasrude,butIjusthavetoknow.

Doyouhaveacloaca?

Theyseemliketheywouldbefarmoreefficient.
>>
>>36857379
Hahah, what?! N-no! I just appreciate her is all!
>>36857423
I like the name Quinn.
>>
>>36857447
I'd rather not say. It only gets worse.
>>
>>36857423

Muffin.
>>
File: 7710327_p12.jpg (264 KB, 566x800)
264 KB
264 KB JPG
>>36857386
Sure.
>>36857458
>>36857379
I feel i'm missing something here.
>>
>>36857472
Try me
>>
>>36857423
Sir Archibald Frothington, First of his name and Lord of the High Marshes.
>>36857458
Don't make me go all Soros on you with the knowing grins and elbow nudges.
>>
>>36857472
I would like to know as well for my uh... research? and not for nefarious purposes in the slightest
>>
>>36857504
>>36857486
I-it's nothing at all... I'm too busy for such things anyhow!
>>
>>36857489
...There's one of you and Stabby, need I say more?
>>36857506
No.
>>36857486
She finds you attractive. She doesn't go for men.
>>
>>36857455

Ah, the boundless ignorance of the ground-things...

My answer is only that my awakening changed my mind, not my body...

And yes, it is far more efficient. Most things about us are.
>>
>>36857489

Mortimer, kind sir, while your coffee is one of impeccable flavor and aroma, I fear the amount of caffeine present in your delightful brew might be of insufficient levels to maintain my usual state of alertness.

Might I trouble you for another cup?
>>
>>36857533
Never speak of this again.
>>36857539
Very well
>>
>>36857533
Hehe... Mortimer and Stabby
>>
>>36857558
Are you sure? You seemed so eager to know a second ago.
>>
>>36857504
I like this! I'm gonna raise him to become the Owlbear King!
>>
>>36857533
I- oh god. I didn't need to think about that.
I'm not in there, am I?
>>
>>36857539
Dear god i understood what he was saying there... Am I alright? I'm not turning a strange colour am I?
>>
File: 14791913_p1.jpg (285 KB, 636x898)
285 KB
285 KB JPG
>>36857533
I don't really see the issue. Is this not common around here?
>>36857529
So...No hunting?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d20)

>>36857575
Is there any involving the ladies of the guild?>>36857567
>ballshot
>>
>>36857558

Much appreciated.

>Takes a pouch of a powdered yellow reagent and sprinkles it into the coffee
>Takes a long draw from the mug

Splendid. It will take effect in a moment.
>>
>>36857423
Always been partial to naming Owlbears "Hoot".
>>
>>36857613
oh dear
>>36857604
How did I miss?
>>
>>36857587
In a solitary volume. Like I said, Secretus was a prick. I was going to distribute one of him until I found that he already had.
>>36857586
May his reign be long and prosperous.
>>36857597
Around here its the norm. But she is rather shy and claims to think romance is a waste of time.
>>36857604
How...why did you just hit yourself?
>>
>>36857630
ow my shin! what was that for?
>>
>>36857597
NO, I- er... yeah, we're still on for hunting.
And it's not that I find you attractive or anything, er, that's not to say I don't! I don't think you're ugly or anything! I just, I... I should stop talking.
>>
>>36857635
I don't know
>>36857638
that wasn't me
>>
Hey where did the Archmage go? I was gonna pickpo- I mean... speak with him... about the uh... Issues!! facing the guild... yeah
>>
File: 7710327_p15.jpg (58 KB, 421x596)
58 KB
58 KB JPG
>>36857635
>>36857639
Uh...I think I get it? >Head tilted sideways in confusion, Apparently lost
So...Hunting is on, And she wants to be considered as one of the apprentices?
>>
>>36857704
I've noticed he doesn't really take part in these other than starting them.
>>
>>36857710
Now you've got it. Be gentle, its her first time.
>>36857704
Do you have a death wish man?
>>
>>36857735
>>36857704
Leave me alone, you crazy kids! How am I supposed to get a nap in if you all keep fondling me?
>>
>>36857704
>trying to pickpocket Antruthius
Not if you value your life and/or sanity.
>>36857738
>>36857710
I've been hunting before though!
Wait, you mean... I, ah, no it's not like that! Well, it sort of is- ah, I should shut up!
>>
>>36857738
Of course not. I was merely going to press him about the immediate issues.. such as why he called the meeting. Who ever said i was going to pickpocket him?? not me certainly
>>
>>36857760
Too late now
>>36857773
Why has Marco taken a sudden interest in you?
>>
>>36857755

HEY!YOUCALLEDTHISMEETING!ATLEASTYOUCOULDBEAWAKEFORIT,SIR!
>>
>>36857814
Ooohhh cute puppy!!! here, have some fish. I was going to give it to my otter but apparently I don't have one... I miss him already.
>>
>>36857755
>>36857827
Yes! Now let me sit on your lap, old man. I have to tell you what I want for wizardmas!
>>
>>36857848
This is Marco >>36857251
>>
File: 7710327_p2.jpg (210 KB, 566x800)
210 KB
210 KB JPG
>>36857738
What is Gentle?
>>36857760
You talk a lot. You should be more straightforward.
>>
>>36857866
Right. Cute puppy. sorry I dont have any more treats
>>
>>36857882
Also, you could commission a new one from the fleshwarpers. Also, Marco is a Vraal
>>
>>36857895
Awwwww he's just a big snoogy woogy isnt he?
>>
>>36857916
Just watch out for the claws
>>
ANYBODYELSEHUNGRY?

>Produces a plate of coffee infused butter cookies and gingerbread men with caffeine powdered caffeine added.
>>
>>36857928
Oh dear, you're right they could use a trim. I have some clippers you could borrow?
>>
>>36857881
I've never been flustered before, honest!
U-usually I just say what I mean.
I just - I, ah, fuck! I'm doing it again!
>>
>>36857938
They are suppose to be that long
>>
>>36857827
Do you have any idea how much preparation I've had to do behind the scenes setting up the new guild hall? Why, first there was capturing all the wyverns and transporting them to the punishment hole for domestication, because I am sure you are familiar with the death toll from those blasted things. Then it was setting up the various wards in every single permeable opening, in every spatial dimension, in every conceivable iteration of this guild hall. Then it was off to charge the mobility system so that we can make it walk somewhere else if we feel like. Then it was another meeting with the various heads of the other guilds, which was just as headache inducing as you would expect, having to answer to all of your nonsense. I mean for pity's sake, the ex head of necromancy burned down ANOTHER forest! Conspierre just won't stop torturing things and muttering, Soros keeps giving me knowing winks, Lupa keeps trying to show me whatever horror she's created most recently, Quin keeps trying to convince me to become a magical girl, Fryia and Noel are loudly sleeping together three doors down, Illyria just won't stop smacking her lips when she eats, Percival is off being fabulous in new and exciting ways in extremely conservative cultures, and do I even need to speak of the escapades of that degenerate Randolph? So you tell me, DO I DESERVE A NAP?
>>
File: 7710327_p5.jpg (137 KB, 566x800)
137 KB
137 KB JPG
>>36857943
Calm down. And try to be more clear.
>>
>>36857978
I think everyone deserves a nap but You probably could use one more! And since you outrank everyone else here Ill gladly punch some people in the teeth so they leave you alone!
>>
>>36857952
That doesn't seem to practical... mean if one wanted to stab someone effectively you should go for a short, wide blade so it bleeds more... and not a long curved one... I mean uh.. I wouldn't know about stabbing... at all...
>>
>>36857983
I think you're really cute and I want to spend time with you!
>>36857978
No one deserves it more, Antruthius.
>>
>>36857978
Yay, he didn't mention me!
>>36858018
They are shredding claws
>>
>>36857978

Truthbetold,Iamenviousofyourabilitytosleepsopeacefully.

Igotanastyhabitofcastingspellsinmysleep,hencethecaffeineabuse.

AfterawakeningtoacitydestroyedbyatwerkingTarrasqueandancientreddragonmoaningmynameinlewdunison,Ipickedupthehabit.

Inshort,Iknowyoudoalotandamjustblowingoffsteam,sir.
>>
File: 14270481.jpg (236 KB, 675x900)
236 KB
236 KB JPG
>>36858027
There you go, Was that so hard? We'll go hunting and Ill see if I cant work that confusing talking out of you while i'm alone with you in the woods for a day or two.
>>
>>36858033
Damnit, that means you're probably getting another yellow banana sticker.
>>36857978
THOSE THINGS WERE CONSPIRING AGAINST US, PLOTTING OUR RUIN
>>
>>36858069
He didn't mention me either. Do i get something?
something shiny with a large resale value perhaps?[/spoilers]
>>
>>36858069
'course, he didn't mention Anfarthon, but then Anfarthon is too busy worrying about others to do anything worrisome.
>>36858066
>blushing intensifies
Y-yeah, sounds good...
>>
>>36858066
>>36858027

Havefuninthewoods,youtwo.

Wait.Weren'twesupposedtobetrackingdownmissingdaysandbooks?
>>
>>36858150
Anfarthon never does anything for fun. Also, bring some healing potions. You're welcome.
>>
>>36858033
That's probably because you do no wrong, Mortimer.
>>
>>36858199
You clearly don't know what happens to people who mess with my garden
>>
>>36858227

What kind of garden might that be, sir?
>>
>>36858175
Then again, I'm always too busy for fun.
>>36858172
U-usually busy at least...
>>
>>36858238
Its mainly focused on petunias, but also features doll eyes, and several other more exotic types
>>
Paladin.

I haave been meaniings to ashk. What god or goddess does you sver?
>>
>>36858279
What about nightshade or Deathbells? Any Riot-weed or rot-tongue?
>>
>>36858303
No
>>
>>36858303
That would be my garden.
>>
>Head nods forward
>A tear in reality opens behind Twitch and a large underground area is clearly visible. A steady beat of bass drums is heard and several beholders are seen waving their eyestalks around with rays of power illumiating from them at different colors. Some have what appears to be giant pacifiers in their mouths and they all move wildly to the beat of the drum.
>>
>>36858373
Well fuck. Where is Soros when you need him
>>
>>36858373
i cast throwing knife!!!!!
>>
>>36858373
Oh that's interesting, I'll have a look.
>>
Gardens are an oddity to me. I just gather what I need from the swamp and the woodlands around here.
>>
>>36858373

>mumbles something about party rock being a house this evening in between snores.
>>
>>36858373
I'll take this one.
>Asymptize.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d666)

>>36858373
Da fuq? I prepare to duck and cover under the nearest table!
>>
File: 7710327_p18.jpg (96 KB, 569x800)
96 KB
96 KB JPG
>>36858302
Its been asked before here, Same response. It would be too difficult to translate properly. A priest or one of my elders could probably do it without even thinking about it. But i'm not so in touch with my god as them.
>>
>>36858445
Do you need a bandage? Clocked yourself pretty good there.
>>
>>36858445
Ow, I hit my head on the table~

Don't let anything eat me!
>>
>>36858445
TAKE COVER!!!!
>>
>The beholders are lost in the music, although some are sucking on the eyestalks of others and a pile of pastel colored pills are floating around the area with a beholder here and there popping one or two as it makes its rounds
>>
ZRKT

>The tear slams shut

Apologizes. It is rude to nod off in the middle of a meeting.

>takes another pull of his coffee
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>36858495
What fresh hell is this? No, I'm not dealing with it today.
>takes Twitch's caffeine powder, melts it in a spoon, and injects it directly into his heart.
WAKE UP
>>
>>36858569
No it's alright, he's awake!
>>
>>36858495
I jump into the portal to party with the beholders. I mean... close the portal from the other side. Yeah.
>>
>>36858569
That seems a little extreme considering he's already woken up? That can't be helping
>>
>>36858569

Appreciate it.
>>
>>36858583
Aw. I mean, yay!
>>
>>36858585

Beholders?

Lasttimeitwasabunchofhornygelatinouscubes.
Thetimebeforethatitwasanarmyofkittensthatswarmedonpeoplelikepirranahs.

Itwasthecutestmassmurderpileever.
>>
Krog wizard too?? Maybe. Krog grandpa balor.
>>
well, I'm going to be gone for a bit. see you guys later
>>
>>36858681

Samehere.

Laterfolks.
>>
Who's left, anyway?
>>
>>36858908
Dunno, I haven't paid much attention to be honest.
>>
>>36858908
I'm here until the hunting starts
>>
File: 13532095_p3.jpg (239 KB, 636x898)
239 KB
239 KB JPG
>>36859023
What are we waiting for?
>>
>>36859013
So, Marus, how goes the biomancy? Any tips for a witch and her bugbear?
>>
>>36859121
Oh it goes well.
Don't feed it brass though.
I have some feed if you need it. And a book on keeping them.
>>
>>36859097
Oh! Uh, nothing, let's go!
I brought a knife and some healing potions. Apparently I should have them?
L-let's just go, then...
>>
>>36859136
Marvelous! You sir are chiefest and greatest among organisms, besides myself of course.
>>
File: 32321151.jpg (369 KB, 1000x1200)
369 KB
369 KB JPG
>>36859165
Yeah you might need them!
>And then they walk off to engage in Hunting and other things that should be quite obvious by this point in time and needn't be explained
>>
Mmmm, keep it down will you? Some of us pulled an allnighter last night.

Why is there a random catgirl in the meeting room.
>>
File: aether_adept_2f352q.jpg (73 KB, 620x392)
73 KB
73 KB JPG
>>36859244
We're leaving to go hunting, don't worry!
>>
>>36859285
Hunting huh? Good luck with that and try to avoid killing yourself. This doesn't explain why there's a Mith-whatever in the meeting room though.
>>
File: Photo 46.jpg (48 KB, 640x480)
48 KB
48 KB JPG
>>36859244
Well, Mortimer left so I can get you some coffee if you'd like.
>>
Is the meeting over yet? Oh... I must have overslept again...
>>
>>36859372
Are we actually going to protect the however many days of wizardmas that are left?
>>
Sorry about that, that damn adventurer party that destroyed the bar the other day decided that my entire village was a cult worshipping the God of Shadows. It took me a bit to convince them otherwise. -_-;
>>
And I'm back folks
>>
>>36859399
Morning Illyria
Or rather afternoon actually.
>>36859380
Thanks. Nice outfit by the way, lost a bet?
>>
Hello again.
Dont have a ton of free time right this second but I think I've made a significant breakthrough with the MG tech I've been playing with. Gimme a few minutes to file everything and I'll be able to explain in more detail.

In the meantime please don't get the new guild hall blown up again?
>>
>>36859491
Well, I went into the kitchen to brew some, and Marco just handed me this and growled. Says on the tag it "allows me to handle Mortimer's coffee and machinery without sullying the kitchen" or something like that. Better safe than sorry.

Is there something wrong with it?
>>
>>36859514
No promises Sam.
>>
>>36859491
Morning, mother. I still have to get used to the whole "day/night" thing... *yawn*
>>36859514
You're asking that to the wrong people, I'm afraid.
>>
>>36859489
Welcome back Mortimer.

[spoilers]work is a bitch
>>
>>36859584
thank you
>>
>>36859584
God dammit s
>>
>>36859597
Oh, welcome back. I swear I put everything in the kitchen back where it belongs.
>>
>>36859530
damn it Marco, I told you that was not necessary
>>36859615
I believe you
>>
>>36859530
Just can't help but find it funny how its more modest than your typical clothes.

No one has explain to me who the catgirl paladin is and why she's here yet.
>>
>>36856960

In life I took a vow of arcane chastity and aromanticism, and I became one of the formost authorities on Necromancy and magic in general (at the time), and you know what I got for it? Stabbed by a bard who thought I was the same evil wizard as my grandfather and stuffed me into experimental magic item I was working on.

I'm not saying neglect your studies and work in favor of shallow entaglements, but don't be afraid to live a little.
>>
>>36859631
I too found her presence to be disturbing, to say the very least.
>>36859629
Hello mortimer. Mind binging me some coffee, please?
>>
>>36859671
Here you go
>>
Is this meeting important, or do I get to go back to my ice fishing & white water rafting holiday in the Silver Peaks?
>>
>>36859581
You get use to it honey.
I hate to ask this while you're still waking up, but the whole adoption thing, will that cause any trouble for you back home? Besides the spider goddess thing.
>>
>>36859631
She seems to be on a heroic quest to promote the apprentices from boys to men through pitched combat in the bedroom.

Otherwise, I don't know if she has a name.
>>
>>36859731
It's kind of a pain to break the obstinacy again, but morale is up regardless among the apprentices.
>>
>>36859731
As true as this may be, her official purpose is inter-order relations between her Paladins and the Mages Guild.
>>
>>36859683
Thank you
>>36859715
I don't... really know. But I've not been able to perform divine magic after last meeting, so Lolth is probably angry with me and this would mean, the drow are not going to recognize me as a princess anymore. Probably. I still need to hear what Kazran has to say about this, maybe we can trick the houses into thinking I'm still the Chosen... But I don't mind! Even if I don't get to be a princess anymore! I'd rather be with you than be a princess of the Underdark!
>>36859731
Shameful.
>>
>>36859828
Yes, just as I said.

But Lord James, how are you today?
>>
>>36859831
I'm flattered. me and Fryia can't offer much in terms of finances, at least on par with your old life of being a Princess, but we'll promise to be the best parents we can be.
>>
>>36859828
Pfff, I said we should've made nice with the demon hunters, personally. I know a Huntress.
>>
File: 28514006.jpg (116 KB, 500x1200)
116 KB
116 KB JPG
>>36859831
It's probably the adoption thing that has Lolth pissed off if I was to hazard a guess. Not sure why, but it's the first thing I'd guess.

>>36859542
Geez, I don't need the stress right now...

Anyway, magical girl stuff - well, three things apparently.

1) I THINK I've deciphered the rune system this thing is using as a language, to where I could potentially wrote "code" for any existing transformation trinket we come across. Of course without a way to debug them before actually trying them out I'm willing to wait a bit longer before doing anything about this.

2) Apparently there are several more transformation trinkets like this among the library's archives - maybe even one or two that were shielded from the decommissioning. Worth delving in there again.

3) I was told I always need 3 points in a list. Got nothing more on magical girl stuff, but Noel maybe you have some other kind of fire magic you an teach me?
>>
File: 1418586424665.jpg (252 KB, 600x600)
252 KB
252 KB JPG
>>36859903
Yes! To be with you would be enough to me!
... I was thinking however, am I still supposed to wear the robes you gave me the first time we met?
>>
Mother-child bonding and robust catgirl paladins.

I'm going to go catch a marlin the size of a basilisk. Nobody follow me.
>>
Sorry for my tardiness, I just got back. What did I miss?
>>
>>36860038
I bet you can't.

>>36860048
Idle conversation
>>
>>36859988
Well you're still obligated to wear the overcoat due to you being a student here, you can wear anything else underneath it, I was being...difficult when you first arrived.
My stance on the spiderweb dress stands though, I swear drow fashion makes mine look like a nun habit. Ludicrous amounts of leather too.
>>
>>36860076
Anything I should know? I'm currently out of all but my emergency mana. Due to reasons I will not specify.

>>36860083
Mother-daughter bonding over fashion?
>>
>>36859983
Certainly, time for the bread and butter of the pyromancer's spelllist.
FIREBALLS.
>>
>>36860048
Welcome, Soros. Don't you happen to have any news from the Underdark? I'm especially concerned about the well being of my bodyguard...
>>36860083
But... this morning I met Cromina and she said black leather is a classic and every proper female mage should wear leather clothes...
>>
>>36860148
Illyria, don't follow Cromina's example on damn near anything. She thinks nylon bodystockings is appropriate dark mage apparel.
>>
>>36860139
Nothing important, I don't think. I missed a good chunk of earlier conversations. So far no major leads on that Jheska lady you're all looking for, that I've been told of at least. Uh, Twitch opened a portal to a Beholder rave that lasted for maybe a minute before we shut it.

That's pretty much it.
>>
>>36860148
Sadly no, I was nowhere near there and like I said i'm running short of spells and mana at the moment. I can do a seeing in an hour after I've had time to rest.
>>
>>36859859
Pretty good, yourself?

>>36860139
Touch my shadow Soros, you can take some of its mana.
>>
>>36860203
Huh slow day today. Good we could use a break.
>>
>>36860048
Hey Soros
>>
>>36860206
Would you like some mana-restoring mushrooms?

>>36860221
Splendid! my adopted owlbear, Sir Archibald Frothington is growing to become king of the owlbears.
>>
>>36860221
I'd rather not for reasons best left unexplained. Fair enough?

>>36860237
Good day Mortimer any coffee left?

>>36860248
Again best if I didn't.
>>
>>36860230
Damn It Soros!
>>36860260
yes there is
>>
>>36860206
I would appreciate it, then.
>>36860184
As you wish. But she acts so enthusiastically about the whole being my godmother thing, I almost feel bad turning her down...
>>
>>36860271
At least I didn't pull a Cromina....
Anyways long and short of it is, Mortimer coffee is one of the few mana boosters I can ingest that doesn't boost my "passenger" as well.

>>36860275
Sure let me get my mind right and mana regenerated.
>>
File: 1372532283981.jpg (124 KB, 753x1073)
124 KB
124 KB JPG
>>36860148
Leather has its uses, especially in colder climes where heat retention is important. A leather overcoat is fine, and of course good leather boots are never bad to have. Wearing it exclusively is...not something I'd recommend, though.

>>36860147
I know if I used that trinket I'd be able to launch a bunch of them with no problem, but that's not the point. I guess my big hangup is going to be this - how do I get the fire from the ground to the target?
>>
be right back in ten minutes
>>
File: spark.jpg (671 KB, 2586x1724)
671 KB
671 KB JPG
>>36860370
First, imagine a spark. Big, small, doesn't matter, just get the image in your head.
>>
>>36860370
I understand, though... though I have to say I find leather clothes to be attractive. Should I ask Fryia's opinion on the subject?
How is your work with the magical girls going, Samantha? Did you find a way to heal Quin, perhaps?
>>
all right I have to go bye guys
>>
>>36860580
Good night Mortimer, have a good one.
>>
>>36860580
Have a nice evening Mortimer.
>>
>>36860580
Night, Mortimer. So I don't have to wear that outfit to brew your coffee, right?
>>
>>36860521
A little leather on an outfit is nice but Cromina, yeah, she takes it a little too far at times. Pretty sure my chair has less leather than her at times.
>>
>>36860521
Haven't really looked into how to undo *that* transformation, probably something for a fleshwarper to tackle.

And if you like leather then go for it. I'm far from the be-all end-all authority on how female magicians should dress.

>>36860500
Okay. A spark, I think I can see it. Now what?
>>
>>36860704
Now imagine said spark growing until you can feeeeeel the warm radiating from it.
>>
>>36860346
>At least I didn't pull a Cromina....
What do you mean?
>>36860660
Enlighten me, mother. What is the proper outfit? I've tried asking to Conspierre but he keeps ranting about how fabulous his robes are, and Cromina wears nothing but pants most of the time... and they are leather pants.
>>
>>36860782
Cromina has the unfortunate tendency to say things in a such a way as to invite as much bad luck possible on herself and her allies at the worst possible time.
>>
>>36860782
Well, to me, a proper female mage outfit is one that sensual and feminine without being too girly, skirts, dresses, maybe a mantle for poor weather, oh, and kneeboots, can't forget those.
>>
>>36860842
Is that a spell?
>>36860890
>scribbles
... and kneeboots. I got it. Sure it is difficult to get something to wear here on the surface though... ok. Which kinds of spiders do produce velvet and cashmere?
>>
>>36861000
If it is, it is so subtle, I can't even see it. I think it's divine intervention more like.
>>
File: 1372532283982.jpg (208 KB, 419x600)
208 KB
208 KB JPG
>>36860782
>>36860890
It's my opinion that a proper outfit is functional above all else - though functional and fashionable are almost never mutually exclusive. You have to be doing some REALLY volatile spellcraft if you can't combine the two at all.

Personally, I think the best outfits are ones that show you off without showing everything - show enough to grab their attention, but cover enough to leave some things up to the imagination.

>>36860748
Okay...hnng. It-it's not staying still! How do I keep the spark from just scampering off?
>>
>>36861000
Oh, and thighhighs, trust me when I say this about thighhighs, they are a godsend for making outfits work.
Also, no pants, Sam can vouch for my stance on those. Shorts are acceptable though.
>>
>>36861035
Now imagine there's a sphere around said spark, to contain it, but not to snuff it, let breath in this sphere you are making.
>>
>>36861035
>show you off without showing everything
Like what you are doing now?
>>36861015
Ohhh, she is an oracle, then, I got it.
>>36861068
Worry not, mother, Fryia told me the truth. Pants are linked to the Elemental Plane of Denim and wearing them will invite the denim elemental to steal my mind.
Well, now I am *yawn* off again... have a good meeting, mother, everyone.
>>
>>36861151
Good night Illyria

Denim elemental. Honestly Fryia, I would've just said it was improper.
>>
So, what else is going on?
>>
>>36861324
Besides training Sam with some basic pyromancy, nothing much, classes will restart soon, hopefully my students haven't been too rowdy the in gap between lessons.
>>
>>36861406
Also need to get a new pin for my nametag it seems.
Actually this reminds me, do you even teach here Vex?
>>
On the matter of outfit, I would suggest enchanted Fullplate. I can tell you from personal experience, these are excellent, even if people say they don't work well with mages.
>>
File: swamp_by_blinck-d2xmqep.jpg (165 KB, 1131x707)
165 KB
165 KB JPG
>>36861423
Not as of yet. I asked if I needed to, but I never got a straight answer. I suppose I could arrange field trips in the surrounding areas if you wanted. There's much beauty in these lands for your apprentices to behold.

Otherwise, I think my areas of expertise are already covered by other wizards here.
>>
>>36858172
Hey sorry all I finally found the books. Took a bit of looking but it seems all are accounted for
>>
>>36861515
Pfff, if a mage needs armor, then clearly you aren't doing your job right.
>>36861533
So how long do you intend on wearing that maid outfit anyway? Did you lose that two piece deal or something?
>>
>>36861096
I...I can *feel* it, but I can't see it or feel the heat or anything...a-am I doing something wrong?
>>
>>36861708
Shush Noel, I'm sure nobody minds.

>>36861728
Boom. Hehe.
>>
>>36861728
Relax and breathe, you're overthinking, fireballs need to be brought in gently.
>>
>>36861708
I've no clue why my attire is so important to you, but what would you prefer I wear?
>>
>>36861697
Wonderful! Where were they?
>>
>>36861708
Need and like are two different things. Before I inherited the Red Shadow, I used to train in full plate, and I like the way it works for me.
>>
>>36861841
Jheska made me weary of people wearing maid outfits that's all.
>>
>>36861860
It looks like they were hastily hidden throughout some of the grounds. Marco retrived them with a few tooth holes and blood on some of the binding. When we discover who was responsible for the book theft the librarians will find a suitable punishment. Luckily there's an incantation we use to make books talk to figure out who vandalizes them, I'm sure the librarians can figure out who stole them based on the book's descriptions.
>>
>>36861972
Ooo, this is exciting!

>>36861946
Story time!
>>
>>36861991
Jheska wore a maid outfit befitting her station as witch-maid.
She then tried to destroy the guild and possessed Fryia.
The end.
>>
>>36861991
I am excited for this, it's been a while since someone has tried something of this degree. Thing is most of the books dont have eyes so they describe things based on the feeling of people's hands. Its a tricky situation
>>
>>36862066
Why'd she do these things, anyway? What's her goal through battling this guild?
>>
File: 149a.jpg (67 KB, 312x445)
67 KB
67 KB JPG
>>36861991
>>36862066
it's not really in exciting story, truth be told.

>>36861815
I know, I know, it's just...if I need to hit someone from range, why do I need a fireball to do it? Why not just hit them with a plume of lava from the earth below me?
>>
File: 1361646395708.jpg (781 KB, 708x1000)
781 KB
781 KB JPG
>Wanders back into the room looking no worse for the wear chewing on a fresh piece of jerky
"Back from hunting and other things, I miss anything I care about?"
>>
>>36862153
Because sometimes you're going to be in a situation where lava can't be summoned. Not every plain is going to have the same thing, might be, I dunno, liquid ice or something bizarre like that.
Besides a good mage should know a few spells outside her comfort zone, builds character.
>>
>>36862231
Nothing major. What do you care about?
>>
>>36862153
Hey! You may not think book theft is exciting but as a librarian my purpose is literally books. You may not find simple joy in new paper, canvas binds, silver and gold trim, leather bookmarks or the incredibly obfuscated system we use to store the tomes of the arcane but those that dwell in the cata-tomes, cataloging and organizing do. This is the most exciting news in libraries since Arthur of the seventh realm discovered page numbering

>>36862231
oh hey it's you again, did the book portal work? The librarians never really tested it on catgirls
>>
File: 1361656872499.jpg (185 KB, 683x900)
185 KB
185 KB JPG
>>36862276
Good question, Probably new sources of assassins being sent at you mostly. Some of them can be tricky. Or people badtalking me behind me back. That sort of thing. I don't care for your politics. Nor is it my place to get involved.
>>36862303
Its mostly a blur to me, Maybe it did? Ive kinda forgotten most of what happened from then to when I got back here.
>>
>>36862231
Oh goody, here comes the paladin.
>>
>>36862344
Assassins! Oh my.
>>
>>36862347
Ive been around for a while, I would think you wouldn't be worried about me by now.
>>36862425
I don't know if you specifically have assassins after you, Ive mostly just been cleaning up the few that show up around here. Its our side of the pact between my order and your guild. "Nomatter how powerful the wizard, a knife between the shoulder blades will seriously cramp his style" they say.
>>
>>36862496
have you ever by chance ran into a human wielding a variable shape soul stealing blade anti-magic blade? I believe he went by Vlad.
>>
File: 7710327_p13.jpg (171 KB, 707x500)
171 KB
171 KB JPG
>>36862528
I've met the man once upon a time. He seemed like a decent sort, Though a bit of a shadow hung over him. Really creepy vibes from his blade. Wouldn't want to fight him unless I had to.
>>
>>36862496
Just put on a skirt, will you? My students already have a tough time focusing on studies, they don't need more.
>>
>>36862595
Considering what he wields and what he is, he'd be hard to beat. Godslayer is not a weapon taken lightly, nor are his skills.
So How many of my apprentices have you rendered unable to walk to class today?
>>
>>36862659
Considering the orgy I walked past... Most of them.
>>
File: 23014656_p0.jpg (492 KB, 952x1111)
492 KB
492 KB JPG
>>36862601
I assure you I'm doing far more to distract them than wearing skimpy clothes.
>>36862659
Just a couple, I got distracted going out to hunt with Rodir. Though they needed some help getting back...

Aye, It wouldn't be a even fight. If I wanted to have a fair chance I would have to fight rather dishonorably and that wouldn't go well with myself, my elders, or my god. And there's no guarantee that would work. And I think he has more experience in that kind of fighting than me. He seemed nice enough. Even told me about a fantastic restaurant I hope to go to someday.
>>
>>36862744
That's the problem with younglings, first and foremost they always seek out that sort of thing with their magic. If only they were that good on more mundane matters.

>>36862762
I see. Thank you for not incapacitating my entire junior class. Also that restaurant is VERY good.
>>
>>36862812
mundane matters are easily the most pleasurable things in the world.
I once spent a whole month reveling in the simple pleasure of a slightly cloudy day I experienced in the spring time
>>
>>36862762
Hussy, why bother wearing armor if all its going to do is decorate the floor of some student's dorm-room?
>>
>>36862849
I wish my youngling had you wisdom, They mostly use their divination as get rich quick schemes or easiest way to get laid. Still helps weed out those with talent from those without I guess.

>>36862873
*Facepalm*
>>
>>36862873
*Face into book*
>>36862901
I find it takes years and years of soul crushing dedication to perfecting the art of stacking tome after tome into exactly the right place on a shelf to understand the joy of being outside. Just send them my way and I'll have their dreams crushed in a few hours
>>
File: 7078229.jpg (363 KB, 720x900)
363 KB
363 KB JPG
>>36862873
Their clothing decorates the floor of /my/ room. I do not expect a prude such as yourself to understand the enjoyment in it. Nor do I care of your opinion.
>>
>>36863003
We tried that remember? The good students dodged you and the bad one curled up into a ball weeping.

>>36863040
Just make sure none of my students enter your room more than once a week, I'd hate for them to di from overexertion or dehydration. Keeping up with your kind can be very difficult even for someone like me.
>>
>>36863081
Oh yes I forgot about them, keep confusing them with apprentices. That's generally the reaction my newest apprentices have. They're attracted by the whole life eternal aspect that being a librarian gives but don't understand the consequences.
>>
>>36863040
Oh please, spare me the posturing, you'd walk around here naked with only a belt and a sword attached to it if you could.
>>
>>36863142
Yeah, One of the things we have to teach them are consequences of magic. We don't want a circus of madness again.

>>36863177
Noel, stop the posturing we all know what you were like before you found Fryja. Or I should say Fryja got you.
>>
>>36863177
I could. I don't see why I couldn't.
I wont though.
>>
>>36863221
Thank you, Last thing I need is for my girl to cast her eyes here and get jealous of another girl.
>>
>>36863199
I have no idea what you're talking about, sure there was an occasion fling every now and again, but there's a difference between a fling and Paladina's behavior.
>>36863221
Let me guess, your species doesn't have a nudity taboo.
>>
>>36863199
The circus of magic was enjoyable for all of one afternoon, but there's simply too much business the guild must attend to to allow it again.
>>36863259
How is your daughter by the way? She hasn't stopped by for sometime
>>
>>36863268
However could you have guessed that, Next you'll be guessing we don't find anything taboo about sexual relations! My you are a smart one!
>>
>>36863308
Inde-............ She broke the rules of space-time again didn't she? When she is born I am SO going to have a talk with her.
>>
>>36863322
So much for plan A of knocking some modesty into you by frying your armor and clothes off.
>>
>>36863376
Judging from my girlfriend and as of yet unborn daughter, I believe you are correct. Most nekos have VERY little modesty, a hold over from their past.
>>
>>36863341
Yeah she did, she said it was for a very important reason and that you needed to avoid this one person...their name slips my tounge at the moment, sorry. She was quite sweet though
>>
>>36863480
I'm going to have to talk to my girlfriend about keeping her on a tighter metaphorical leash.
>>
>>36863468
>a hold over from their past
I'm sure it is.
>>
>>36863553
What pray tell does that mean?
>>
>>36863545
Oh I wouldn't worry about that too much her. Seemed quite nice and kindhearted
>>
>>36863598
Just keep her away from my students, my apprentice, and my daughter.



[Advertise on 4chan]

Delete Post: [File Only] Style:
[a / b / c / d / e / f / g / gif / h / hr / k / m / o / p / r / s / t / u / v / vg / vr / w / wg] [i / ic] [r9k] [s4s] [cm / hm / lgbt / y] [3 / adv / an / asp / biz / cgl / ck / co / diy / fa / fit / gd / hc / int / jp / lit / mlp / mu / n / out / po / pol / sci / soc / sp / tg / toy / trv / tv / vp / wsg / x] [Settings] [Home]
[Disable Mobile View / Use Desktop Site]

[Enable Mobile View / Use Mobile Site]

All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective parties. Images uploaded are the responsibility of the Poster. Comments are owned by the Poster.