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Hear ye, hear ye, I call to order another meeting of the Mage Guild.

Now that the New Year is passed, we must make arrangements to repair the Guild Hall and tidy the hallways. Also we must make a formal apology to the local government and union leaders for the ruckus that was created during the New Year's Eve. Those of you involved know who you are.

Also, on the subject of overtime, any overtime shall be held in the Archive so we do not disturb the establishment any more. Celestials only know that we've aggravated the Union enough.
>>
>>37289462
Can I smoke in here?
>>
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/ when/if 404
Also this is like, 2+ hours early I think.
>>
>>37289535
I can't imagine why not. It seems like you have dropped your Name tag however.
>>
>>37289541
Perhaps in your timezone, Chronomancer. In this plane it has been Saturday for quite some time.
>>
>>37289462
Excellent, I'm just in time for our once-a-week meeting.

The next town over tried to burn me as an apostate witch, so just make sure you don't tell them I'm here when you send your letters.
>>
>>37289603

Vex! Good to see you again! Now when you say apostate witch...?
>>
only the Archwizard can call meetings. idiot
>>
>>37289682
It's a long story. I spanked a few of their squires, and then I sent them a letter of challenge, and then they sent more paladins and firebombed the swamp and arrested me and burned me at the stake.

I got better.

Good to see you, too!
>>
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So I finally managed to clear out that nest of monsters in the Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-Sub-SUB basement. Bad news for whoever makes their apprentices wear blue robes with gold trim, There were about 20 of them down there getting gnawed on. It took nearly all week but I don't think I missed anything important? Everyone seems to have kept to themselves this week. Much like what I expected to be happening around here.
>>37289603
Hopefully you made it out with all of your hairs unsinged.
>>37289729
Not that I can be sure or anything, But I'm quite sure he is busy or he would have called it himself.
>>
*reaches from his beanbag chair at home to a back in the meeting hall*

What is this about now? I thought we were done.
>>
Rolled 149 (1d190)

>>37289759
That reminds me, I need to see how many of my students are still alive.
>>
>>37289603
I'm always in for a little burning. I like my human charred and crunchy, but I doubt some villagers can create a fire as magnificent as my brilliant breath. Thats said however I surely won't snitch.
>>
>>37289729
S-silence you! I can call meetings in his stead, besides I am not sure if he attended the Council meeting in which we determined our new schedule.
>>
Can you guys just go to some subreddit or some shit already, where you're actually welcome?
>>
>>37289791

Whoa, you a real dragon?

>>37289747

What did you just say? Revenge smitings? That sounds like a wonderful idea.
>>
>>37289462
I take in Antruthius is taking his once in a decade year off?

>>37289603
What happened?

>>37289759
Glad my apprentices are in flat blue robes.
>>
>>37289860
We're working on it. Please be patient.
>>
>>37289747
People always seem to underestimate the power of an undying devotion to do something. You're probably lucky they are also quite set in their ways and unlikely to ever adapt and improve their disposal procedure. Ive run into an awful lot of Mages who 'Got better' after the paladins around here gave them the once over.
>>37289860
GOD FORBID PEOPLE ROLEPLAY ON /tg/ WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO, SURELY THIS IS OFF TOPIC, NOW COMMISAR WHY DOESNT X JUST Z?
>>37289886
>>37289791
Please don't burn down a...Relatively innocent village because of a few 'Religious Fanatics'
>>
>>37289860

The Guild has been a tradition since forever. There is no reason we should disband because of some butthurt newfags.
>>
>>37289860
>not being a member of the mage guild
>mentioning that other place
It's like you're only pretending to be into /tg/ anon.
>>
>>37289844
I called the council you daft codger! This meeting was supposed to be about those damn coastal wizards and their grimoire offering supposed mastery over every aspect of existence!
>>
>>37289462
Habby new yerds everybone
Is everyone fire here?IM geddin a lil tipsy
>>
>>37289924
(How did those endspoilers get all the way down there? Hmph)
>>
>>37289886
No, but I aspire to become one. My father is a dragon however, Draconis the Red, ever heard of him? He is one of the investors of the guild. Anyways, I'm a half-dragon with a human mother.
>>
>>37289958
Any bets on whether the cult of paizozus will choke them out this year?
>>
>>37289924

Listen Random, am I pronouncing that right? Religious Extremism is a poison no mattention what form it takes. Besides, I don't know about Vex, but I'm relatively precise. Big, but precise. Like a giant scapel.
>>
"Hey guys!"
>>
>>37289924
Well, they were rather nice about it, trying not to involve the rest of the guild and all. Cute, too.
>>
>>37289924

>Forum roleplay
>/tg/ related

Jesus fucking christ. Just fuck off to gaiaonline already. It's great, you do all the asterisk actions and freeform bullshit you want there. You'll all fit right in.
>>
>>37290001
It's on my card, what do you think?

>>37290010
Or a baseball bat.

>>37290022
Hello

>>37290047
Obvious troll is obvious.
>>
>>37289958
If they had a book that let them master all of Existence wouldn't they have buggered off to a private universe full of naked bunnygirl maids and whatever other stereotypical things a wizard may put in their dream world? Why would anyone believe their claims
>>37290010
I would prefer you also not murder a bunch of paladins for responding exactly how they were expected to respond to a taunting mail, They arent bright but do you want to go around dealing with all the baby necromancers and hedgewizards who think they can control the world in their place?
>>
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Greetings again, I have completed the plan for the new north-western wing and tasked a group of smaller golems with it's construction.

What can I do for you today.
>>
Oh also i missed any drawfagging on the last weeks. Did anyone save the character images?
>>
>>37289924
Listen catperson, I don't just burn down whole villages, maybe one-two buildings to scare them. In the end a village is still a source of income and burning it down would minimize my profit, als the villager are my property, they belong to me anyways, why should I burn them? Except they insult me, then their life is forfeit.
>>
>>37290073
That it has a 50/50 chance of being a trick.
>>37290079
Different strokes for different folks I suppose. My money is on those paizozus guys anyways, rabid dedicated cult and all that
>>
>>37290087
One of the Geomancers wrecked the training room again wit a lava spout. Anything you can do about that?

>>37290098
Fryja isn't on for it yet.
>>
>>37290127
*smiles* Maybe, care to find out?
>>
>>37290132
Ah Soros, I almost forgot, I have a present for you from my father. As thank you for finding the Kobolds.
>>
>>37290154
Not really. Think I'll buy the book though, if only for a laugh. "Master of worlds, master of rules, master of adventure." Hah! As if.
>>
>>37290132
How extensive is the damage, I have five lesser golems that are trained to repair damage from fire or heat.
>>
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Oh yeah, I forgot to mention, Some of the gear I grabbed from my trip to the Fighter's Guild while some of their members rudely told me to get lost ended up being enchanted, And It wont last long around me. Anyone want to trade some fancy whetstones for some more practical not enchanted ones? Would be a shame to waste the effort and magic.
>>37290194
Don't forget, The most important step of becoming a master of reality is to give all your gold to InsertCultLeaderNameHere
>>
Good evening everyone.
>>
>>37290190
What is it?

>>37290194
Go for it. *Examines card*

>>37290211
Pretty bad, lava is coming out of the bathroom adjacent.
>>
>>37290226
Sure, I'm up for a trade.
>>
>>37290226
Why not both? I've got money to burn here. It's all for entertainment anyways. Still the matter of how to respond to such an insult though. Then again, the coastal wizard puts out good things occasionally, I know I'm guilty of taking a few pages out of his spellbook. Nine hells do I love weird.
>>
>>37289990
Huehue. *Enjoys mental image.*
>>
>>37290073
>Nods
Or a bat.

>>37290079
Baby Necromancers? Why I EAT THEM MUAHAHAHA. But honestly I only had some light pranking in mind. Light, explosive pranks...

>>37290022
Noone! My rougish compatriot! What's going on?

>>37289990
Ah I only ask because my brother is a Dragon Blooded Sorcerer. Being A dragonborn he looks rather like a small dragon wearing people clothes. I was curious if you where the same.
>>
>>37290073
>Obvious troll is obvious.

Not even trolling. You retards literally act like something straight out of a gaiaonline forum, and you're getting your threads deleted so often that you have this fag >>37289541 reminding everyone to go ghostpost if you want to continue the faggotry when the mods wake up.

What is the point? You know you aren't welcome here. You don't even make your threads easily filterable. The only thing that makes you better than questfags is that you haven't irrecoverably infested the board yet, which is kind of like saying one cancer is better than another because it's less malignant.

Just do us both a favor and fuck off. You'll all be happier for it. On your new website, I'm sure you'll even meet other likeminded retards to be retarded with. It'll be great.
>>
>>37290226
"Wait, you follow him too? Oh man I love that guy! I even signed all my stuff over to him."
>>
>>37289958

F-forgive me m-master!
>>
>>37290256
Ah, a simple fix then, back when I was originally created Mages were less disciplined and often turned entire wings of the guild into twisting nether realms when using magic to clean their teeth.

My lessers will have it fixed within the our.
>>
>>37290252
Good evening James

>>37290283
*nods*

>>37290290
Ok Shitposter go take your nap, you're obvious tired.
>>
>>37290283
"I have no idea but i'm REALLY EXCITED ABOUT IT!"
>>
>>37290259
Cool. I don't know what they are meant to do, Whatever it is doesn't interest me. I prefer unenchanted anyway.
>>37290266
I would expect an insult to lead to much burning, Perhaps redirect the current desire to burn poor Paladins towards burning unrespectful coastal wizards until they gain some respect?
>>37290290
>Filtering Mage Guild is too hard waah
>>
>>37290318
>Ok Shitposter go take your nap, you're obvious tired.

I don't see how any of the point I raised make for a shitpost, or imply fatigue.
>>
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>>37290290
>>
>>37290348
They forgot to fill in the subject field. I swear it's like herding cats with you people.
>>
Aaaaand now we're all shitposting. Great.
>>
>>37290379
I can filter post text just fine, But yeah they did leave off the subject for the newfags to filter.
>>
>>37290348
Well, someone>>37290311 didn't use the acronym we decided on to make filtering easy.

But it can't be helped now.
>>
>>37290372

They literally create forum roleplay threads for people like you on websites such as Gaiaonline. Don't worry, you'll fit right in, I assure you.
>>
>>37290256
*searches in his bag of holding* Uh wait...present, present,present...jewels,gold,princess....AH the present! *Hands Soros a black crystal ball with a swirling red core* If you scry using this crystal ball you can cast spells as if you was there.
>>37290274
My father shapeshifted if it is difference in size that amuses you.
>>37290283
No I'm pretty human, except for fangs, claws and a few scales here and there. I can also grow wings if I want to fly.
>>
>>37290315
Good too hear, i remember that time one Geomancer sunk the entire guild hall.

>>37290423
Excellent do thank him for me. How has his health been lately?
>>
>>37290413
I do not think people want to or will do that.
>>
>>37290407
Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!!
...what was the acronym again...?
>>
>>37290423
Oh!Oh!
Is this *hic* giftday?I have something for you all! Favorite day of the year!
>>
>>37290407
"Hey vex, any more trouble with the local sacred pigs?"
>>37290490
TGRPT!!!!!
>>
>>37290490
Just put "Mage's Guild Meeting" in the subject line. No other threads use that.
>>
>>37290490
Mages Guild in the subject box
>>
>>37290413
Wouldn't it be cool if one person could make a group of people move away with nothing but nice words? What a world it would be.
>>
>>37290460

Which is fine, there just needs to be people like me who keep reporting them, until they go away.

I'm not going to let another brand of cancer infest /tg/ like questfags did. Freeform forum roleplay bullshit is so far beyond the line for 4chan norms I can't even believe it's a question, and only goes to show you how badly the forum has been diluted by lesser people from lesser websites.
>>
>>37290447
I am afraid Father is getting old, he looses scales everywhere and his sight isn't as good as it used to be. He sleeps a lot lately, the Kobolds are getting rather bold due to that, nothing I can't fix by torching some alive though.
>>
>>37290549
Been a thing since 2009 here.
>>
>>37290447
I once had to pull the guild hall 50 miles after it had been levitated and blown away after a rather large party.

That was a few centuries if I remember,
>>
>>37290508
They haven't come back to my swamp yet, so it's safe to assume they don't know I'm still alive.

Have those succubi girls returned yet?
>>
>>37290517
>>37290512
Was this not done? I could have sworn I did it.. oh bother the Archwizard will have my hide!
>>
>>37290537

I don't intend to ignore the fire while the kitchen is burning, thank you.
>>
>>37290569
As far as I know, no.
>>
>>37290562

The cancer ends now, then.
>>
>>37290576
Don't worry to much about it Oros, we all forget things sometimes.
>>
>>37290549
I'm not trying to use it as a generic insult or anything, but sir, you are a Nazi. You are purely a Nazi. Definitively and certainly a Nazi.
>>
>>37290584
"Come quick Ethel, some people are pretending to be wizards on the internet! And on the nerdy hobbies board no less!"
>>
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Oh, And I don't know if anyone really cares, My Order is sending a couple apprentices up here to me, Both to learn from me how to be diplomatic and probably to try to spy on you all. Try not to hurt them too bad. I sincerely doubt you will have any difficulty hiding things from them. At worst they may...Well do what I did when I got here.
I'll try and keep them in line, More for their own safety than anyone elses. They won't be here for a few weeks at least.
>>
>>37290612
4chan was never good. Hate to break it to you.
>>
>>37290549
This has been here for years anon, get over yourself.

>>37290550
Yes well how is his project going?

>>37290564
I was there telling him it was a bad idea if you recall.

>>37290569
Not that i can see.

>>37290584
>>37290612
Stop having fun guys guys it badwrongfun because i saw so!
>>
>>37290584
But that fire is just your roommate turning the oven on so he can cook his ramen. It won't burn down the house. It's a controlled fire, for boiling water and such. Why won't you let your friend light this tiny part of the stove and enjoy his meal?
>>
>>37290612
1. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.
2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)
can't you just follow the rules? we're not hurting anyone. we're just having fun.


>>37290569
No, but I they always come back and in larger numbers.
>>
>>37290645
Make sure its not that time of the year for them. I'm not dealing with that again.
>>
>>37290645
Spying on wizards is like spying on oranges.
We either do exactly what you think we are doing or you will never notice it.
>>
>>37290333
THAT'S THE ATTITUDE!

>Goes for High Five with an uncharacteristically fleshy left arm
>It grows a extra thumb, then mirrors, creating a "maw" of fingers. Then orange eyes and teeth set in purple gums.

OH GODS! NO! STOP! BAD DARWIN! BAD! STOP! NO EATING FREINDS!

>The mimic morphs back into its coppery arm form, then wraps itself back around the metal limb, a single eye dourly eyeing Noone

Sorry about that...he's not house trained yet.
>>
>>37290622

God, you must feel so persecuted. Dis is anada shoah.

>>37290628

Feel free to do it on gaiaonline, they accept that sort of behavior there.
>>
>>37290645
I do warn you that although I am a labour and craft golem, and generally conduct repairs of the guild hall, I am also programmed to capture and detain potential spies and threats. I am also designed to be immune to all elemental, chaotic and holy energies to allow me to work anywhere.

Do warn them of this.
>>
>>37290423
>My father shapeshifted if it is difference in size that amuses you.
You're no fun.

>>37290678
>No, but I they always come back and in larger numbers.
Just like the cold sores they left me.
My loins itch whenever a succubus is close.
>>
Hang on a second, isn't it poker night?
>>
>>37290697
I do, actually. Something I enjoy is no longer viable on a site I enjoy being a part of. I mean, it's not Jew-level persecution, but it's still persecution.

Please understand that you are a Nazi. Not trying to troll you or sling insults at you. You fill all the basic tenets of being a Nazi.
>>
>>37290668
I have trouble remembering faces of members from then due to my two centuries of dormancy.
>>
>>37290678
>1. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.
>2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)
>can't you just follow the rules? we're not hurting anyone. we're just having fun.

You don't have to be hurting anyone to break the rules, Anon. That's why your threads are being deleted :^)

>>37290653

I won't allow it to be quite as bad as gaiaonline, and that starts with getting you faggots to fuck off.
>>
Just arrived. Last meeting something whisked me out of existance again!
Or was it next meeting?

Anyway, tell your apprentices that they shouldn't get their privates inside portable holes. I've rescued yet another young man and it's not something I plan to do again. Don't we have an infirmary?
>>
>>37290619
Hello there, James. Or is it Sire? I'm not joking, I'm not sure.
>>
>>37290693
>Is missing a hand
>Is still in shock and has not started screaming
>The damn elf is getting his blood on the floor though. Bastard.
>>
>>37290773
Fair enough.

>>37290774
Then just ignore us, we are one thread.

>>37290804
*Cure light wounds*
>>
Where are all the fine wizard ladies at?
>>
>>37290766
Bit of an overreaction, don't you think?
>>37290779
Burned down last week.
>>37290804
Oh suck it up you pansy.
>>
>>37290684
I sincerely doubt normal oranges do anything we are not aware of. Then again I can't fully deny it i guess.
>>37290726
>>37290645
Even so, Danial has a point, spying on us is probably pointless.
>>37290799
Just James is fine, as we are all peers here.
>>
>>37290668
Depends on which project you ask for. The "collecting draconic lore for the genrations to come"-project is not going that well because the other Dragons don't want to share their secrets, the books about red dragons are almost finished though.
The "kidnapping a princess from every race"-project worked well enough, although I hate playing princesssitter for tem.
The "collecting useless magical artifacts"-project is pretty fun, however I don't think it's really, well, usefull.
Oh and if you meant sending more money to the guild, yeah he did that, the Archwizard should have received tons of gold.
>>
>>37290766
>Please understand that you are a Nazi. Not trying to troll you or sling insults at you. You fill all the basic tenets of being a Nazi.

Hitler was right, so that works out for me.

But no really Anon, do go on about how people telling you to take your faggotry elsewhere is filling the basic tenants of being a national socialist and putting you in a concentration camp. Milk the emotional value of that word for all it's worth.
>>
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>>37290680
As I said, Ill try to keep them in line. Don't know how much luck I'll have. Depends how my job was explained to them and whether or not they are young enough to do that god awful REBEL AGAINST EVERYTHING thing.
>>37290684
The proper way to spy on wizards is to not spy on them. Then you learn plenty of secrets and get accepted into their meetings where they discuss all manner of guild secrets openly.
>>37290726
I am quite certain that they will not be in danger of learning anything useful. They are going to try too hard and be much too inexperienced. I am more worried about them getting hurt, I'll probably lock them up in a room or something.
>>37290764
Is it?
>>37290825
There's uh, Noel I think? She may be around later. She hates me.
>>37290833
Most likely. Nothing really goes on here that they should care about, However they will likely spend hours writing down pointless information that will be useless days or hours later.
>>
>>37290833
You have no idea what the citrus people are capable of. I have reason to believe that they have been at war with scurvy for centuries.
>>
>>37290823
>Is bleeding slightly less

>>37290829
"You're aaaaAAHAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>Oh great the screaming has started.

>>37290766
Godwins laws, sorry anon.
>>
>>37290823
>Then just ignore us, we are one thread.

Nah, questfags were "just one thread" at one point too. I won't allow your particular brand of faggotry to proliferate just because you're too lazy to take it to a website where it's considered permissible.
>>
>>37290873
I could construct a holding pen for them if you wish, I am an expert at construction and making bouquets.
>>
>>37290764
Is it? Cause I am a huge fan of card games, especially when there's money on the line.

>>37290804
Oh shit! I didnt see that he bit you! Oh Gods above and below!

>>37290825
You should definitely talk to Vex, that fiiiine witch over there.
>Snickers
I heard she's a big fan of backrubs.
But could you confirm that for me? I, uh, have a friend that wants to know...
>>
>>37290912
Probably don't need anything fancier than a Mid tier magical lock on my room that's totally not mine and not stolen from someone else.
>>
>>37290859
Meant creating his "special item," guess you don't know about it then.

>>37290887
Your welcome. *Cure wounds*

>>37290873
Setting him up with Noel do you want him dead?

>>37290923
You too?
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>37290923
We play it a little differently here.
>>37290887
Oh hold still. I'll warn you, I'm not very good at pyromancy, but I think I can cauterize it.
>>
Members of the guild, due to the fact that no one has managed to find out Lich Cerik's current whereabouts or what he is off doing instead of taking care of his duties as a Department Head. I am now announcing my return to the position as Head of the Necromancy Department.

...even though part of me suspect Cerik did this just so I would do so.
>>
>>37290887
FUCKING QUIT SCREAMING MAN, YOU'LL JUST AGGRAVATE HIM!

>>37290912
Ser Golem, you wouldn't happen to take commision would you? An illithid cult burned down my apartment and I've been living in the Fighter-Wizard's guild since then...

>>37290833
Well it's good to see you again James.
>>
>>37290829
Ah, that was simulacra numer #65832-b.
Halfway through the meeting I retired to my base to get my feet in hot water, programming a system to run the whole economy is tiresome.

Glad to see you, maese conspierre.
Was the panty conspiration solved? Did you catch the culprit?

>>37290804
I can grow you another hand if you wish, although it may or may not be sentient, I lost the template for normal long ago.

>>37290945
This I may help with, I can create an infinite number of theorethical rooms within the constraints of a single one, however, to build actual rooms, I need a transcendental building permit, 10 bricks, and one small yellow bird.
>>
>>37290996
Suckers bet my friend. Still good for you!
>>
>>37290967
>Stops bleeding
>Pokes the stump
"Thanks Soros!"

>>37290923
"I really like that saying, above and below."

>>37291008
"SORRRRRRRY!"

>>37291009
"COOL! DO IT DO IT DOIT!"
>>
>>37290967
Me too what?

>>37290983
I think I can keep up.
>>
>>37291008
I am designed to construct anyting requested by guild members, within reason.

Demonic castles that walk are to be denied after the last time I was tasked with constructing one.

The mage went mad and tried to destroy everything.
>>
>>37290860
I'm not trying to be emotional. You're trying to infect Dunwall with plague rats to kill the poor, because no one should ever be allowed to act or think differently than you. If you just ignore our one thread, you wouldn't be a Nazi. You'd be a pretty cool guy. Yet you're here telling us to pack up our teepees and move to Oklahoma because our thread doesn't fit in with your divine vision of a pure /tg/.

You are a Nazi. You need more friends to call you out on things like this anon. You need to be less of a Nazi.
>>
>>37291045
Alright, I'll deal. Who else is in on this?
>>
>>37291008
You as well.
>>37290904
this thread has been considered permissible since it started, shitposting never has. Just because a new mod is butthurt he had no friends to hang with on new years doesnt mean we are in the wrong.
>>
>>37291009
Here are some bricks sir

>Pulls ten bricks out of a compartment in his chest.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>37290996
Definitely part of him did.
His dessicated and dusted frontal lobe me thinks.

Very good at poker, lil cheater.

>>37291037
Hachirma-hsaeka-niam

>Rollan to see if your hand is a bro. And if so, how bro it is.
>>
>>37291063
I'm in
>>
>>37291009
>Sentient hand
Depending on which hand it is that could be a problem.

Just sayin'.
>>
>>37291045
Setting him up to die.

>>37291037
*nods*
>>
>>37291063
I'll keep an eye out and make sure everyone keeps their cheating subtle.
>>
>>37291090
>Not the nat 20 that was needed
>Noone's new hand starts to choke him
>>
>>37291061
Holy shit dude, why do you care so much that someone doesn't like your fun? If it gets deleted, we ghost thread. If not, we don't. It really shouldn't matter that much if someone hates your fun.
>>37291100
Alright, I've got two so far
>>
>>37290967
My father is creating a special item? And I don't know about it? The only thing I ever saw him "creating" was making Dragonbrand Whiskey, and even I can't drink that without burning from the inside.
>>
>>37291037
Ew don't fuckin' poke it man! But yeah Calvert, my home, has a massive under society, going all the way down to the underdark, but we have towers that scrape the sky, there are larger ones in a nearby city but we like ours better, so we have a healthy respect for the gods above and below.

>>37291113
If he lives or gets zapped depends on his skill.
>>
Apologies for being so late. That first week is utter hell.

Three zombie outbreaks. THREE. IN THE FIRST WEEK.

In other news, these threads are still happening then? Nice.
>>
>>37291121
I'm in, if you'll allow me.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>37291086
Thank you very much... Mmmm... I believe I know your factory cousin, old marble prototype. Good fellow. May I ask where to initiate the tramits for the per...

>>37291119
Good lord, hand, BEHAVE YOURSELF
>>
>>37291143
Ouch Yeah we might get banned and have a butt hurt anon posting here here right now though.
>>
>>37291117
Killjoy. That's half the fun.
>>37291148
But of course. No divining the entire deck, keep it to the cards in people's hands, and only once every few turns.
>>
>>37291121
he was saying we are right, also we should just ignore the shitposters so they leave
>>37291143
Don't worry to much about it, the first week of a new term is always difficult on the apprentices.
>>
>>37291063
Me, obviously

>>37291119
OH SHIT!

>Grabs Noone's hand
>With his left arm
>Darwin begins to thrash the hand, detaching from the Warforged limb
>>
>>37291182
Sure *smiles* i can do that.
>>
>>37291143
Let me know if you need a hand cleaning up, Sometimes I miss the good old days when the biggest thing I had to worry about was a particularly strong zombie. Our apprentices have lost limbs in their first week so don't be too hard on them. At least they didn't cut their own arm off.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>37291101
Oh don't worry, hostile hands tend to either choke the fellas or masturbate furiously in public meetings. Nothing out of the ordinary. Hostile feet are... far far...

>>37291119
Dammit hand! BEHAVE or ILL CUT YOU AGAIN
>>
>>37291050

Excellent, thank you kindly Golem.

Its in A city far from here however, would be able to make it there?
>>
>>37291163
My cousin?

Where did you see him may I ask, it has been centuries since we last conversed.
>>
>>37290363
autist please go
>>
>>37291024
Good indeed, I consider my ultimately brief time away from the office as a bit of a vacation but it seems I'm the only one who is both capable and willing to lead this department.

>>37291143
Only three? I expected at least five with the bunch of apprentices we have at the moment.
>>
>>37291163
>does his best to say "they finally got my hand to them them."
>Passes out from lack of air to his ..... well he's an elf so he doesn't have a brain so I have no idea why he is passing out.....
>>
>>37291195
Right then. I want a good clean match of wizards poker. No blows beneath the belt, no poisonings, no explosive runes, and no shahrazad's gambits. We all remember what happened last time. Right then. First three on the table: lord of spades, knave of diamonds, bigby's crushing hand.
>>
>>37291255
Join them* god dammit
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>37291233
I saw it next week thurday noon inside the old tower, department of transmutation and intransmutables... he was holding a funeral for a small gerbil... Also the tower may or may not crumble next monday

>>37291255
Okay hand, you forced my hand
>inverse roll
>>
>>37291259
any rules I need to know about this before we start?
>>
>>37291251
Many are willing you're the only one i'd give it too though.

>>37291255
*pokes with a staff*

>>37291259
*smiles* call.
>>
>>37291255

>Snatches Darwin the Arm Mimic off Noone's hand

Quit it you little fucker!

>>37291259
Wait what
>>
>>37291306
Ah, I shall get ready to repair it then.

And I will visit my cousin, we have many things to dicuss, like building techniques and floral arrangement.
>>
>>37291228
Out of curiosity, have any hands you've regrown ever expressed sympathy or support towards National Socialism?
>>
>>37291314
It's the same way /tg/ plays chess
Right, that gives vex three black mana, soros one face down trap card, and Dramorn one limited wish.
Gentlemen: draw your cards. May mystra have mercy on us all.
>>
>>37291251
Considering half the apprentices try to be antagonistic and "edgy" all the time just to be " cool", i can see why.

>>37291314
>>37291320
Have you never played wizards poker before? make shit up as you go
>>
>>37291306
No idea what that does
>>37291320
>Flips you the bird
>>
>>37291251
I managed to get most of the rest under control before they could be called proper outbreaks.

There were several where some of them managed to raise opposing hordes. They then proceeded to eat one another.

On another note... I could have sworn we had another Head of Necromancy who had recently been resurrected. Huh. Ah well. If we do I've got tenure.
>>
>>37291368
I have no clue how that works.
>draws cards
>>
>>37291352
Ha! Good one. Also I don't think we've met, have we? I re-joined on new years an' well...things got kinda weird and I don't remember everything.
>>
>>37291368
Uh can't Soros just look at your hands using his divination?
>>
>>37291368
what?
>>
>>37291405
Ah yes, the head was indeed resurrected, he was a pleasant fellow.
>>
>>37291292
There there, mister elf, your hand is now a handy hand now. I've just replaced your unconciousness with conciousness, you can wake up now.

>>37291352
No, hands don't know about pollitics. Remember that the danger is the intention behind the hand, not the hand itself.

>>37291394
>The bad hand withers and runs away since it's a mimic, and a good hand grows on its place. The good hand is like a normal hand except it has sentience and works for your best interest.
Also knows how to cook.

>Inverse roll changes the 3 for a 17.
>>
>>37291368
*draws a card and flip it over haphazardly*
Chaos sea
*flips other card*
Creation's chains.

I get another draw and raise 30 gold, unless some one counters.

>>37291415
Maybe.
>>
>>37291410
they start with a chess board and put random shit on it
>>37291415
It really won't help him as much as you might think it would in this kind of game.
>>
>>37291410
I've seen a dark ritual to summon godzilla fail critically, allowing an opponent to deep strike a squad of terminators.
Soros calls, while in a chair facing north on a saturday, guild hall rotates 90 degrees and fourteen crabs gain sentience in the nearest seafood restaurant. A bold move.
>>
File: nazi_2823355b[1].jpg (70 KB, 620x387)
70 KB
70 KB JPG
>>37291061
>You are a Nazi. You need more friends to call you out on things like this anon. You need to be less of a Nazi.

They were pretty great dressers though, and I could get onboard with moving the Jews out of the country. Could be worse. At least I'm not a freeform forum roleplayer.

>Tumblr *still* thinks throwing this insult around has any meaning at all
>>
>>37291479
>Tumblr
But tumblr is one of us, National Socialists.
Remember when they started complaining about people using dreads?It was because they make their culture less unique. That was literally the reason. Tumblr would be well accepted within the Nazi circle.
>>
>>37291061
Just hide posts.
>>
>>37291451
>Plots
>>
>>37291405
I was until recently known by most members of the guild as "The recently re-resurrected ex-head of necromancy", or are you referring to Talamore the Dreadful whose head recently got resurrected by one of the apprentices? Or was that Talamore...
>>
Rolled 29 (1d30)

>>37291471
I floop the pig!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37291394
You little five fingered shit...

>>37291389
Ah thanks James.

>>37291368
Rolls to sneak 4 Aces and a Gold Dragon into his hand from his robot arm. 20-17= no one sees or suspects me. 16-12 people suspect me of cheating. 11-1 The cards shoot out of the arm.
>>
>>37291451
>Wiggles his new hand
"Hey thanks!"
>>
>>37291524
The faster we all ignore him, the faster he leaves.
>>37291553
That poor pig.
>>
>>37291575
Really?
>>37291553
Poor pig.
>>
>>37291412
Nope. I spend quite a bit of time doing "research" in the field, so I only rarely show up to these meetings. Quite uninvited and unexpected.

>>37291451
If one had two sentient hands, would the right hand know what the left hand was doing?
>>
>>37291548
Huh. Well, alright then. If I'm wrong I have tenure out the goddamn ass.

Welcome back.
>>
>>37291575
FUUUU-
>Cards shoot out of a compartment on the left arm, scaring Darwin off

Darwin get back here!

>>37291524
Hey Redwood, didn't see you come in!
>>
>>37291530
I didn't know I could do this, thanks!
>>37291553
"Ha, stupid pig."
>>
>>37291580
>The faster we all ignore him, the faster he leaves.

I'm like a Firefighter, except I respond to rampant bouts of faggotry. Where there's homosexuality, there's me.

>>37291524

Nah. I don't think Tumblr ever rebuilt a poverty-stricken nation's economy, so Nazis actually did more beneficial things than Tumblr ever did.
>>
>>37291605
I think it counts as in play now, since it left his hand and end up on the table.
>>
>>37291553
The pig floops spectacularly, causing arcane fire to rain down upon the other players, dealing damage to their life total, and pulling your bet out of the pot. Note that you may still win this hand, and claim the remainder.
>>37291460
Well played, next card on the table is black lotus. All players gain one mana of a color of their choosing.
>>37291575
Card cannon! Card cannon! Lightning round! Everyone take cover!
>>
>>37291576
It's nothing mister elf, we're here to help.

>>37291544
This best be a plot for reaching good ends, unless you want to spend a few dozen eternities mindlessly wanking the whizzard, you little shit.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37291672
I reanimate myself a hand and join the table.
>>
>>37291652
Really this early?

>>37291667
Indeed.

>>37291672
Hmm, *Chains the lightning to a reactor and deflects the cannon onto Vex.*
>>
>>37291672
[Shadow Shield]
>>
>>37291672
But I'm not even here!
>BBZAAAT

See?
>>
>>37291685
"*Come on man, would you really deprive this fine elf of a working hand?"
*in asl
>>
>>37291642
Howdy, I don't think I've met you properly either. Name's Dramorn, Master of the elements, swinger of swords, and owner of Darwin the Arm Mimic, which covers up this arm right here.
>Points to Warforged arm
>>
>>37291652
Yeah, i was a little
>hic
Drunk when i came in.
What is everyone doing anyways? I don't understand this card game at all.
>>
>>37291724
You maniac, what have you done!
>Storm clouds fill the hall, music is faintly heard as if from a great distance away
>>
>>37291750
Huh. Interesting.

Very Interesting arm you have there...
>>
>>37291760
*table inverts and laughs* Made things interesting.
>>
Rolled 401 (1d666)

>>37291672
Ducks and covers under the table!
>>
>>37291724
Damn, I need to get in the game!

I play this Fork of Horipulation!
>>
>>37291759
So far they are well within the existing rule of the game. If its any consolation.
>>
>>37291748
Oh, what's that? did you said that you wanted to become a teletubbie's hand instead? Cause I can grant you that wish mothafucka. You'll suffer it and instantly reappear and the elf wouldn't even know that you were gone. Now make sandwiches for everyone
>>
>>37291780
>>37291781
Who dares summon my magnificence? What mortal folly has caused the lightning round?
>>
>>37291672
*a {Welcome to the Party} card lands at James' feet*
Well guess I am playing to then.
>>
>The golem sits down at the table and in a bold move places both the hand and eye of Vecna on the table.

I play these.
>>
Rolled 5 (1d777)

>>37291774
Indeed, check out what it can do!

>>37291781
>Pumps arm
>Lantern Shield deploys from arm
>Blocks
>>
>>37291816
Dramorm caused it i chained it.

>>37291789
Ouch crystal cards give feedback now.
>>
>>37291759
From what I can tell, the game originated when a session of Mornington Crescent became sentient. Things went downhill from there.

>>37291760
Ah. Speaking of which.
>>
>>37291845
Dropped nametag.
>>
Sirs I finished sweeping up the remains of the latests entrance exam, I shoved it all into that portal in the back of the room. Tom was a bit worried about it but what could possibly go wrong?
>>
>>37291810
"*How? this idiot isn't with in arms reach on anything edible and trust me you do not want to eat the elf."
*In asl
>>
>>37291816
Ah hello ermm... I'm not supposed to say your name. sorry.

Yes, I did not call you, but you still owe me those beers for *that little favor*, in Erebus?
If you could pay me, that'll be great.
>>
Rolled 12 (1d30)

>>37291844
I take advantage of your low roll by flooping the dragon!
>>
Rolled 180 (1d1000)

>>37291838
>>37291839
>>37291789
>>37291800
>>37291781
>>37291845
>>37291847
Very well then, it seems we have enough people here for a walk off! Beware mortals, for you must withstand the power of my magic dance to succeed!
>>
>>37291845
Don't throw me under the carriage!

>>37291839
Ah good one golem! However I have a Mace Of Cuthbert!

>Slams the card down

Aha how's about tha- >>37291844
>Gets hit square in the chest
>zzZzZAP
>>
>>37291839
Nice move, you made Soros drop his nametag.
>>37291839
>>37291879
OOOh met by an unexpectedly quick recovery.
>>
>>37291816
"OMG MISTER DAVID BOWIE SIR CAN I GET YOUR AUTOGRAPH?"
>>
>>37291920
I am immune to dance magic sir, apologies for the inconvenience.
>>
>>37291889
Oh, who's apprentice are you?

I don't think I recognize you or the color of your robes. Definitely don't look like any of the uniforms from school.

Wait, what kind of entrance exam?
>>
Rolled 369 (1d1000)

>>37291920
>>
Rolled 709 (1d1000)

>>37291920
I can resist any dance!
>>
Rolled 991 (1d1000)

>>37291920
You dare ignore my presence.
>tosses leans his staff against the wall and throws his hat on the table
Let's dance.
>>
>>37291891
>... Your minor creation works to make things that aren't tissues too. Like food. And animated boobs. But don't do that. Animated boobs are soft but not very intelligent conversational partners.
>>
>>37291930
Sir I played the actual artefacts, that card does not compare.
>>
>>37291920
No no no no NO NOT AGAIN! I WILL NOT HAVE THIS TOMFOOLERY HERE. PREPARE YOURSELF, FOR I EXPEND FIFTEEN DEALERS CREDITS TO SUMMON ZOOLANDIUS!
>>37291847
QUICK, DEAL YOURSELF IN. SUMMONING ZOOLANDIUS IS A HARROWING RITUAL
>>
>>37291930
>>37291917
N-not if-f I f-floop your d-dragon firzt..
>Winks
>Passes out
>>
Rolled 843 (1d1000)

>>37291920
im game

>>37291930
Too late! take 3 damage.

>>37291931
Did you doubt?

>>37291965
Nice moves!

>>37291980
Chains of creation is still in play.
>>
File: Magnum.gif (856 KB, 320x232)
856 KB
856 KB GIF
Rolled 353 (1d1000)

>>37291965
I am pleased by your offering, and shall offer aid!
>>37291920
GET THE HENCE BOWYER
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>37291920
"Well then just call me Soterios Johnson"
>>
Uh. Someone put a card in my hand.
>Tosses it onto the table without looking at it
>>
>>37292009
>>37291998
>>37291965
>>37291964
It's....it's beautiful.......
>banishment ritual successful! All participants gain 45 gold. Don't spend it all in one place!
>>
Rolled 661, 970, 467, 703, 940, 973, 255, 278, 411, 475 = 6133 (10d1000)

>>37291920
You still owe me my beers, I'm not dancing.
>>
>>37292030
>Kills 5 people, maims 12 more
"NOT AGAIN!"
>>
>>37291955
Take That Bowie!

>>37291976
Its written in the rules man, artifacts and cards, along with spells, runes, throwing of food, and various other things, are all allowed.

On that note, I read a paragraph out of "Dan's Big Book Of Circles and How to Use Them on Thursdays".
>>
>>37292056
Fucker always runs away before paying.
>>
>Crawls back into the room
>Sees Dramorn unconscious
>Grows ALL THE TEETH
>Growls
>>
>>37289603
>tried to burn me as an apostate witch
>mfw
>>
>>37291966
>Starts throwing animated titties everywhere
>>
>>37292092
I cannot read.....

And I must go for now, my lessers need to be checked on to ensure they are making good progress.
>>
>>37291998
Uh, ehy guys, what's up? Still tangled into that Bingo nonsense, Big S?
>>
>>37292056
*Uses gold to bind Creations herald unto the table*

>>37292101
*uses remaining gold to summon dread dentist face up in defense*
>>
>>37292135
Have a pleasant evening.
>>
>>37291950
I haven't gotten a personal instructor yet, as for the robe, a lot of us received these for Wizardmas from a secret santa.

Oh and I think it must have been the biomancer entrance exam, very messy affair guts and gore all over the classroom.
>>
>>37292077
Five deaths, including three firstborn children. A cunning strategy, you've started a peasants revolt!
>>37292035
>Explosive runes!
DAMNIT I SAID NO EXPLOSIVE RUNES
>>37292101
>Darwin used growl! The enemy CARD GAME's attack was lowered!
>>
>>37292126
>Sees Hand
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjyBxv6O8U
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>37292101
>Gets out tiny dung sac from sleeve

GET IN THE BAG.
>>37292126
Wha?

Oh no not you. I sentence you to be the hand of dinky winky or some shit.
>POOF
>>
>>37292150
Good Evening Cromina. Care to join us in Wizards Poker?
>>
>>37292150
Nope poker.

>>37292182
Chaos sea debuffs titan's 500 points

>>37292166
Glad i have moon revolt up then.
>>
>>37292166
>Suggestion that Noone has a cunning plan
>ever
>>
>>37291998
Well I've had time to practice.

>>37292056
>puts on his hat and returns to the table

>>37292166
I play The Tower to give myself a defencive position.
>>
>>37292204
It is wizard poker night? I thought we were not gonna do it since THAT time. You know.
>>
>>37292183
"*NOOOOOOOOO"
*in asl
>>
>>37292150
It's poker night, deal yourself in.
>>37292182
>Darwin has declared a thumb war! All participants are treated to bitchin theme music and a display of greased up sweaty palms going at it!
>>37292216
Moon revolt activates, a large disembodied ass floats above the table, altering the tidal patterns of the sea of chaos for five turns!
>>37292058
>An IOU for the local tavern floats downwards. Examination will reveal that it is entirely valid.
>>
>>37292238
Apparently. It seems like a terrible idea, but its been a quiet week.
>>
>>37292234
I play the Handicapped Troll to knock your tower over!
>>
>>37292238
Dont worry, Conspierre outlawed Shahrazads Gambit already. >>37291259
>>
>>37292159
Huh, yeah. I can see that. Most students don't get a personal instructor until they've nearly graduated.

You know, I would really rather not know what this year's Biomancy entrance exam was.

What courses are you enrolled in, anyway? I can't tell when students aren't wearing their uniforms.

>>37292234
When you're done with that I think we need to discuss the curriculum for the Necromancy courses. They haven't changed in a long while and I've been thinking we should teach proper used corpse recycling procedures before teaching them how to properly utilize virgin sacrifices.
>>
>>37292238
"Oh hey Cromina!"
>Waves
>doesn't notice that he is missing a hand
>>
>>37292156
>>37292216
>>37292183
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqjyBxv6O8U

>Exchanges some teeth for four sticky pseudopods
>Slaps Noone's Evil Hand
>Flings it at Dread Dentist
>Slithers past Xanathos, uses tentacle to trip
>Slingshots self onto table
>Defiant Growl
>>
>>37292238
That would be my fault, you see, I had to make some adjustments and... THAT time is next year.
Please don't tell them anything yet. They need to learn that by themselves. Also you now have a kitten pet. Don't ask me how it happened. You'll know when you see it.
>>
>>37292266
I'll just fool around and watch the grandmaster outplaying everyone, then arguing half an hour with Soros until you start flinging spells at each other. Just like the other time!
>>
>>37292320
Oh dear. Its entered the card game. Its going to die horribly now.
>>
>>37292319
Hand comes back.

>>37292320
>Throws a small bright bauble into the sack
I know you want it, now jump in.
>>
>>37292238
It is time once more.
>>37292276
I resent the implications of that.
>>37292355
I'm dealing this time. You missed daveth the bowyer being summoned in on a tiger made of lightning.
>>
>>37292234
I bet, good job.

>>37292238
Oh well, it's fun anyways.

>>37292266
Just as planned.

>>37292320
Umm look down you just triggered explosive immolation.

>>37292364
Don't cast from hp.

>>37292355
He's dealing.
>>
>>37292372
>Plots
>>
Can I make any words out of these tiles?
>XLZKKTX
>>
Too too roo everyone
>>
>>37292320
My god, he's a prodigy! He's activated the remaining facedown card on the table!
>Endless Infernum: all players hands are destroyed, bypassing all resistances.
>>37292435
>An elder god sneezes somewhere far away
>>
>>37292398
*walks in a square around the table three times while chanting*
ALSG MATGH UTASD JFAO MAHUF JFASL KJAFA THAR AEHN MADFA JEAL OTHAE NEATR
>>
>>37292319
EHW, gross. But I guess you deserved it. Well, a bit at least.
>>37292282
Oh, you are soooo bad at this.
>>37292382
NO! FUCK. FUCK THAT. I fucking LOVE Daveth!
seriously? fuck if I knew it was Mage Guild Night I'd have said screw that to fryia IRL and have the D&D session made shorter
>>
>>37292412
>asl*
>I hope you enjoyed your stay, I only gave you the light treatment.

>>37292435
You shouldn't. You can but you shouldn't.
>>
>>37292282
>frowns
Well played, but you will lose that troll when my tower falls on it

I reanimate your troll...
>smirks
and then I reanimate the table.

>>37292310
Hmm... yes I can see why that would be an improvement, lack of good corpses does mean corpse recycling would benefit the apprentices more than virgin sacrifices. Besides, the virgin sacrifice class usually ends with half the class trying to sacrifice the other.
>>
Rolled 14, 15 = 29 (2d20)

>>37292372
>Fires "tongue" from toothy maw, snatching the bauble from the bag
>Flings it away

>>37292364
>Barks

>>37292398
>>37292451
>Just as planned?

>the explosion launches Darwin straight towards Noone's Evil Hand
>Rolls to RIP AND TEAR
>>
>>37292455
Understandable, He Who Sells the world is quite magnificent.
Tell her to get her ass in here! Also, did she draw anything else?
>>
>>37292492
> blocks the attack with Noone's face
>>
>>37292492
>Ripping and tearing occurs. Evil Hand's hymen is broken, and will never marry as an honest woman.
>>
>>37292492
>RIPS.
>TEARS.

captcha: ttear
>>
>>37292454
Well this outta be good.

>>37292455
Last minute thing!

>>37292492
*smirks*

>>37292489
Well played.
>>
>>37292492
>>37292537
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>This inconsiderate bastard gets blood all over the curtains
>>
>>37292489
Oh no! Now I'm trolless!

>>37292472
What if I arrange them so they say...
>"Quickly nightmare
>slay the waking
>talons digging
>sanity breaking"

Triple Word Score, bitches!
Oh, and a monster is emerging from under the table.
>>
>>37292494
Ziggy Starspawn is kind my favorite one
who knows? I saw her drawing something like some gobbo waifu before the session, shit got strange taste. What about the deleting threads thing?
>>
>>37292266
Oh great, BEERS for everyone!

>>37292492
Except for you Darwin, you're a bad boy. Only dilluted mead for you.
>>37292524
And something without alcohol for you.
>>37292534
How could you hand? You dissapoint me.
>>37292563
That's not the... umm... you know what? never mind. Yes, that's the bad word, bad teacher, bad...
>>
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>>37292563
>XLZKKTX EMERGES AND OPENS ONE OF ITS SIX THOUSAND SLAVERING MAWS. IT TAKES A DEEP BREATH IN AND BEGINS TO SING:
TIME TO LEAVE THEM ALL BEHIIIIIIIIIIIIND
>>
>>37292563
No, I'm Troll Lass.
>>
>>37292621
Well... shit.
>>
>>37292544
>An eye swivels 180 to make eye contact with Soros
>It narrows in suspicion

>>37292524
>>37292561
>NO!
>Not to eat Freinds!
>Try and wipe face blood off
>concerned mimic eyes
>>
>>37292454
*finishes walking around the table and raises his hands over his head*
>>37292563
>>37292489
>>37292621

Malak's Black Square! For every undead, reanimated, or summoned creature in play, I get 50 gold, 2 colorless mana, and a sandwich!
>>
>>37292621
Oh hey. Tentacles!
>>
>>37292621
Ehy! I was promised Daveth the Bowyer, not a singing Elder One!
>>
What's tonight's topic everyone?
>>
>>37292561 (You)
>>37292537
>>37292472
>Detaches from Noone's arms and skitters away
>>
I need to retire now, I'll see you next reality to the left. If you survive.

Which is unlikely.
>>
>>37292595
Keep the threads confined to saturday, we seem to be okay so far.
>XLZKKTX, true to his world, ascends to a higher realm.
Well. That was new,
>>
>>37292310
I'm currently studying Practical Application of Magic, but I have this note here that I'm to report to
>squints
"The department of Necromancy upon your unfortunate but inevitable demise" Any idea what that's about?
>>
>>37292666
Wizards poker night, ask Pierre to deal you in.
>>
>>37292666
Well, it was apparently supposed to be something about the coastal wizard's new book on mastering reality. But then poker night happened.
>>
>>37292563
Well...hrm. What if I...no, maybe this...no, too risky.

I guess I'll play scorched earth and follow up with rezzing Wall of Ice. your move.
>>
>>37292653
Wait, but I summoned the highest level monster, so it says I have to make the sandwich.

This game sucks.
>>
>>37292689
Oh, yeah. Students have a really high turnover rate in every department, but we need a lot of corpses to keep the Necromancy students actually learning things.

Win-win.
>>
>>37292656
DON'T! Geez aren't you the creepy one out here.
>>37292685
what the fuck- at least now I don't have to worry about missing a meeting.
>>
>>37292723
"But don't you have a +10 bonus to making sandwiches?"
>>
>>37292621
>Awakens with a start
I SMELL ELDRITCH ABOMINATION
>Sees XLZKKTX
WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED

>>37292647
Oh by the low Gods! DARWIN!
>Darwin, headless of the reprimand, skitters over on toothy limbs
>Hops on his perch
>Whats this stuck to his pseudopod?
>He has...a card?
>>
>>37292621
Hello *infernal downpour*

>>37292647
*continues smirking*

>>37292685
Yup I imbue Ascalon.


>>37292745
You're one to talk tentacle breaker.
>>
>>37292621
Ugh that thing is insulting to my wonderfull eyes! *Red Dragon's breath*
>>
>>37292756
I don't like to talk about it!

Be right back... with Lord James' sandwich.
>>
>>37292621
>sighs
It's going to be one of those games isn't it.

>>37292653
Well then you are going to love my next move, I play undead army.
>>
>>37292775
What's this? NO. NOT THAT. ANYTHING BUT THAT CARD
>>
>>37292804
All in good fun Lazarus.

>>37292809
Why are you scared?

>>37292775
*see card and starts laughing like a maniac*
>>
>>37292848
>Joins in with the laughing
>>
>>37292804
I feel sorry for vex. Its gonna take a while to make that many sandwiches.
>>
>>37292698
No thank you, I prefer to watch games.
>>
>>37292738
I see... well anything I can do for you while I'm here anyway?
>>
>>37292781
What are you on again, soros? You tried to swallow me whole that one time, do you have a vore fetish perhaps? Mph. Just because I am inclined toward kinkiness- ok, so inclined I am practically horizontal, whatever- it doesn't mean anyone is allowed to have strange relationships with elder gods.
>>
>>37292781
>Darwin eyes Soros further

>>37292621
>Reads card
Huh. That's neat. Come on Darwin, LETS DO THIS!
>Darwin wraps about the metal arm, morphing into a copper dragonborn arm again.
>Dramorn pumps his arm
>Out pops the card Cannon

I PLAY "DESTROY"
>>
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>>37292867
Here's your sandwich... My Lord.

Wait, I have to make more!? And what happened to all my mana and dubloons!?
>>
>>37292925
Damn. Now i'm hungry. And I don't have anything to make.
>>
>>37292925
"I ate them..."
>>
>>37292862
*Punches*

>>37292904
Oh do be quiet it isn't consensual.

>>37292908
*alloys it with creation Herald, Sea of chaos unbound, and Chains of Creation, to summon World Eater in attack.* Check.
>>
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>>37292908
YOU MANIAC!
>Destroy erases all cards in play from existence. Xanthos' hand activates and summons The Pale One, Harbinger of Ten Thousand Years of Funk
>>
>>37292975 >>37292925
Soros summoned the most powerful creature now.
He has to finish making the sandwiches.
>>
>>37292908
Well, so much for my undead army.
>looks over his hand
I play re-resurrection ritual in preparation
>>
>>37292908
>Fires card cannon
>A single card is flung forth towards the singing monstrosity
>"Destroy" hits the elder thing

See you in the Abyss, Motherfu-

>A sucking, swirling black hole expands from its center of mass, dragging it in, ripping it apart.
>>
>>37292895
Not at the moment, no.

But I would strongly advise not dying while in sight of anyone involved in the Necromancy department. They'll almost certainly try to steal your corpse without reimbursing whoever was in charge of you at the moment.
>>
>>37292925
How does it feels, being someone's slave, Vex? Feel the shame of having to do everything you are ordered to!
>>37292975
Whatever. Look t her Soros! Vex made me do horrible things after that time with the drunk fight and stuff! I was so scared, it has been an horrible week!
>>
>>37292975
A HEEE HEEE HEEEYAAAAAAAAAAAAH
A HE HEE
>>
>>37292975
>Pained groan
"Wwww-why soro?"

>>37292925
>>37292965
"And In my defence the box clearly states to Keep out of the reach and small children and Noone. and they where delicious."
>Coughs up blood
"I regret nothing."
>>
>>37293030
Is that you He-man?
>>
>>37292925
Scorched earth caused a flatline, sending you to level 1 and the rest of the table filched your stuff.

>>37292999
oh HELLS no. We killed that fiend years ago, and I'll do it again if I have to!
>>
>>37292975
>>37292999
>>37293005
>>37293030

*The Grand Combination dispels all effects*
>>
>>37292999
Can I join in or is the game almost over?
CAPTCHA: mead - I want some now [/spoiler
>>
>>37293057
>Gets flash backs
>>
>>37293017
Thank you sir, I'll try to keep that in mind. If that is all I think I'm going to take a look at the pyromancy demonstration, I know another apprentice in that class who is two days fro graduation.
>>
>>37293026
Your nametag doesn't say Squire on it, Cromina. I'm disappointed in you.
>>
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>>37293057
...HEE HEE
>>37293068
HA HA HEEEEEEE
>pelvic thrusts
>>37293069
A HEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee
>Explodes.
>>
>>37293043
>Rushes towards his friend

Are you okay? Where are your hands?
I hope Darwin didn't hurt you too badly!
>>
>>37293106
What happens when I take explosion damage without any cash or mana?
>>
>>37293090
Vex, you can stop making sandwiches, Soros one upped you summon and it is his job now.
>>
>>37293004
*points to 7 trays of sandwiches on the table*


>>37293026
Sorry

>>37293030
This oughta be good attack.

>>37293043
Sorry needed to do taht to summon.

>>37293106
>>37293069
Well then. Tabula raasa?
>>
Here your coffee everyone
>>
>>37293074
>looks at Noone and gets an idea
>pulls a white sleeping creature from under the table and throws it at Noone
I play transformation on Noone.
>>
>>37293126
Out of the game, and you have to wear the dreaded SHAME CONE.
>>37293057
I thought that was noone?
>>
>>37293140
Thank you, Mortimer!
>pecks you on the cheek
>>
>>37293145
do me a favor and roll me a straight d20 and what you want to happen
>>
>>37293140

Mortimer! Good to see you! Can you get me some healing poultices? Noone is dying!
>>
>>37293158
Conspiere can you deal me in? I'd like to play too.
>>
>>37293193
Draw, place your bids, and prepare for various phenomena.
>>
Rolled 17 (1d20)

>>37293174
I'm throwing the sleeping Quin at you in an attempt to turn you back into He-man
>>
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>>37293158
Oh, that's good. I was worried this was going to be one of those human games where I'd have to be clothing.

>>37293129
But I've already made so many!
>>
>>37293106
Not the weirdest thing I've seen around here but definitely top ten.
>>37293134
Sorry? SORRY? It this all you have to say? Aren't you going to cheer me up and beat Vex on her meanie meanie-head with some random chaotic spell?
>>37293090
Shut up! You are ordering me around no more!
>>37293140
Mooooort! Cheer me up, mort!
>>
>>37293165
*slightly blushes*
Thank you
>>37293186
I doubt it. I Punched his stomach out and he was fine
>>
>>37293186
>>37293215
"I fee- Bloody cough -feel fine"
>Is transformed into HE-Noone!
>>
>>37293134
Thank you very much. *takes the sandwiches*
>>37293140
Thank you as well, Mortimer. *takes the coffee*

Now, I play [Lesser armchair]. *A Large red armchair appears in place of James' normal chair*
Take this! Comfortable Evening Snack Combo!
>>
>>37293224
Fine
>>37293208
I'm out thanks for having me.
>>37293165
Wanna duel in the training grounds?
>>
>>37293208
*places some gold duplones as bid and draws*
Is that enough as bid?
>>
>>37293224
You are a beautiful woman who I would ask out on a real date, only being stopped because of how imitatingly beautiful you are
>>
>>37293231
Gods damnit, I thought I'd heard enough of the HEE for one night!
>>37293224
Certainly a strange fellow.
>>
>>37293174
>>37293215
Hey! No throwing department heads in the war room!

...at least, I think this is the war room. if not I'm going to feel so silly.
>>
>>37293288
I'd be happy to give the Eldritch Squire another spanking.
>>
>>37293231
NOOOO!!
>>37293229
Never mind that now, I need a Chimp's head soaked in soap and a torch!
>>
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>>37293145
>>37293215
>>37293231
>keeps sleeping but activates Noone's transformation in his sleep
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>37293266
*Eats a bite of sandwich while relaxing in his armchair*
>>
>>37293312
No i meant against me little one.

>>37293322
Adorable little troublemaker ain't she?
>>
>>37293312
>Blushes
>>37293293
>Whispers
You know she's a dude in spirit, right?
>>
>>37293343
Like a friendly duel? Or are you mad at me about something?
>>
>Does a sexy dance draining everyone of 5 gold each turn.
>Sings that annoying song, take san damage, no save.
>Lazarus gets all gold and sanity
>>
Rolled 83 + 48 (1d100 + 48)

>>37293324
*finishes his sandwich and takes a sip of coffee*
>>
>>37293293
Careful, I might tear up and be smug.
>>37293288
Soros withdraws, removing the lunar arse and the sea of chaos. The World Eater goes back to crying about how his sempai will never notice him.
>>37293350
Shhhhhhh. Don't ruin the moment.
>>37293324
Blissful relaxation is triggered! +10 to chilling effects!
>>37293310
War room, main hall, game room, whatever you want to call it. Killjoy.
>>
>>37293140
Excellent, thank you Mortimer.

>>37293310
There is no rule against it! Despite that one time when the Head of Muscle Wizardry threw all the gathered department heads to settle an argument.
>>
>>37293366
>Tackles

WHERES MY SOAPY MONKEY HEAD
>>
>>37293293
See?>>37293288 You could definetely learn something from mort. Hey mort, listen to this, I am bored with being a redhead. Any suggestion?
>>37293312
Again? How many time are you gonn-
oh. THAT kind of spanking. Sorry.
>>
>>37293366
San damage? Does that affect the dealer? Someone get the rulebook.
>>
>>37293363
It won't be lethal, and besides you I've dueled all the head witches in the guild at least once.

>>37293391
World eater can get bent Pierre.

>>37293413
I'm trying Cromina shut up ans sit down.
>>
>>37293316
Why?
>>37293350
doesn't really matter to me
>>37293391
Do you want to be hit in the balls?
>>37293413
Try Orange hair?
>>
>>37293435
Okay. But I'm not good with divination. How would you like to battle?
>>
Hmm I think I know what to do...
>Dragon Hoard, for every piece of gold I own creature of the dragon type get more power.
However you gain Adventurer Tokens every turn

I combo this with young red dragon. Due to the power up of the hoard he is evolved into Ancient Greater Wyrm, Draconis the Red!
>>
>>37293439
>Struggles with Hee-Man

Less why and more Chimp head! Soaked in soap!

NOW!
>>
>>37293435
Soros please, if you took an interest in the abomination residing between your asscheeks you'd know that you aren't his sempai.
>>37293439
No, but I know when a good time for a noble sacrifice is. And so I shall smug. Not because I wish to, but because no one else can.
>>37293452
Guess what I'm thinking.
>>
>>37293366
>looks incredibly smug
>>37293423
I think it does, unless we are playing by Beholder rules. Are we playing by Beholder rules?
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>37293495
Nope. Well then. Let's see how weird this is going to get.
>>
>>37293452
Training room, all spell are fair game. *activates Spelleye*

>>37293485
He can still get bent, I hate the fuck.
>>
Rolled 19 (1d20)

>>37293484
Here.
>>37293485
Ballshot it is then
>ballshot
>>
>>37293366
*James' comfort aura blocks the san damage and protects his gold*
>>37293381
Okay, now the most uncomfortable player at the table has to give me 131 gold in exchange for one of my sandwiches. Who is least comfortable right now?
>>
Hey guys, where will the ghost thread be, so we can determine which guild will be next
>>
>>37293439
Ehw, orange? I don't really- I was thinking about something, well. Classic. More serious, if I am going to die in a couple of years what do you think Asmodeus would think of a lass with orange hair? " Oh hey, this lass got some pretty sweet hair, I want her to become my new lieutenant?"
What about black?
>>
>>37293485
That the local government is putting plague in the water to make the serfs more easily manipulated while also poisoning their blood for the inevitable vampire crisis?
>>
>>37293484
Really? that's a stupid name.

>>37293521
>dances into the aura because conflict
>>
>>37293531
That could work
>>
>>37293519
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SmVAWKfJ4Go
>Slowly falls over, a single tear falling from one eye.
>>
>>37293518
Alright, I'm going to bewitch the hell out of you (1d666). Want to do a best 2 out of 3 deal?
>>
>>37293545
*HEE-MAN is lit on fire by the excessive amount of comfort.*
>>
>>37293519
Excellent!

>>37293366
>Holds the soapy chimpanzee head before him
>Casts a spell of flames on it
>The flames pass through the head and turn to bubbles

I cast you back into the darkness Stealer of Children! Begone Pale One! Your reign is long over! Be GONE!
>>
>>37293568
That had to hurt. Alrighty then, lets get you do the infirmary
>>
>>37293531
Die in a couple of years!? What ever from?
>>
>>37293580
Sure But fair warning enchantments will go awry on me.

Duels are usually multipart affairs.
>>
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>>37293463
>Is summoned, but alseep in a pile of coins snoring loudly and exhaling fire from his nostrils
>>
>>37293620
>whispering
Even in pain....I still smug.....
>>
>>37293523
Seriously guys, I'd like to know
>>
>>37293562
I could either try and do this by myself or let pierre do it.
>>37293568
Am i going to look like bob ross if I let you dye my hair?
>>
>>37293625
And when I beat you, your cute little apprentice becomes mine!
>>
>>37293632
Do I need to castrate you?
>>37293638
No clue on that one
>>
>>37293636
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/%20when/if%20404
>>
>>37293638
I promise nothing.
>>37293648
Have some respect for the rules and WEAR YOUR SHAME CONE
>>
>>37293583
NEW EEFECTS!
>HEAT: +10 to comfyness
>WARM GLOW: +30 cozeness
>BACON?: You smell bacon, you want bacon.

>>37293613
"STEAK FOR DAYZ!"
>>
>>37293664
Have you ever had someone threaten to forcefully insert the severed testicles of 45 clones of themself into each your orifices?
>>
>>37293686
Coffee?
>>
>>37293648
If that's the case you'll have to run around naked for 3 days WHEN i win.
>>
>>37293630
Daaaaad, wake up, I summoned you in a match of Wizard Poker.
>Draconis is still sleeping
DAAAAAAD, you are embaressing me in front of the others.
>>
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>>37293712
Have you ever have some one threaten you with their pet vraal and pet tarrasque/dragon hybrid?
>>
>>37293712
Actually, several of my students have threatened to do that to me when I gave them their (Failing) grades.

Of course, when they actually try it they usually end up with one or two clones and they bicker with each other until I turn them all into corpses for the next class to use.
>>
>>37293717
>.......Offer the superpowered Noone coffee? [Y/N]
>>
>>37293757
Several times now. Which is why I've been feeding him treats and scratching his belly.
>>
>>37293686
>Jumps off arm
>Morphs into the classic "Chest mimic"
>Slams Into the Pale One
>Morphs back into amorphous mimic
>begins to eat through the Pale One's chest
>>
>>37293778
Yes.. wait. I forgot to put the dolleye in. its this small berry that goes great with the coffee
>>37293797
You know, my sister needs some one for her prom.
>>
>>37293670
Do your worst, Pierre.
>>37293623
Bargaining with Asmodeus. One should think more before making that kind of pacts. Long story short, my expected lifespan is a bit shorter than how I'd like it to be. About it, >>37293718 Soros, take a look at his, please. I woke up three days ago with an hole in my back. And it is not like an hole in my skin, it is, well, pitch black from what I can see. Any clue on this one?
>starts undressing in the middle of the hall
>>
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>>37293718
Grr... deal. It'll be worth the risk to have your little student as my class pet. (I honestly forgot his name. Is his player on right now? I'm keeping it vague so if he's not cool with it I can make up a new apprentice for you)

>>37293670
Fine!
>>
>>37293746
*snickers*
>>37293630
<Thunderclap>
>>37293797
Smart.

>>37293802
You're very active for a mimic.
>>
And, I am on the reality to the left. Are we dead? No? Dammit.

>>37293717
I'll take one please.
Ah BTW, I will owe you a cheesewheel a few days from now, have at it

>Extracts creamy, delicious, axiomatic cheesewheel from robes.

Let no man said I left my debts unpayed for more than -3 days.
>>
>>37293686
*James takes out a pipe and lights it with the flaming HEE MAN, adding a comfort of +20*
10 more comfort, and I get {Insta win} triggered. your move guys. about time we finish the game I think.
>>
>>37293774
Wait really? Huh. I need a new dire threat then.
>>37293828
Do you mean that literally? Because I can take a critical failure on any spell I cast.
>>37293826
Wait really? I thought Jake'ness kidnapped her?
>>
>>37293830
Ok then to the training ground. Haven't seen Marcus on yet, so sound good.
>>
>>37293828
I maybe should say this, but Asmodeus will be transforming into a greater asura sometime around 8 o' clock. Therefore, he won't be able to collect your debt or redeem you from that curse. But at least it won't grow anymore!
>>
Rolled 333 (1d666)

>>37293882
>at training grounds

Take this! Bow before your better!
>>
>>37293831

Carnifex and the Owlbear Biomancer cooked him up for me, I'm not quite sure if he's even a true mimic anymore.
>>
>>37293869
We got her back. it cost me most of my blood but it was worth it.
>>
okay, even I can't figure out what's going on anymore.

I'm just gonna go back to working on these artefacts. I should have this one finished in a couple days, but I'll need to try it myself to make sure it's working properly.

I really hope this won't be a huge mistake.
>>
>>37293898
Go Vex!

>>37293802
Go Darwin!
>>
>>37293906
Oh. Good for her then.
>>37293830
Hah! Stew in suffering and shame! Look at her! Look at her and laugh!
>>
>>37293838
>inspects the current state of the game and frowns
In that case I play undead body double in order to leave the table with my current winnings without risking the SHAME CONE.
>>
>>37293920
You jinxed it
>>
>>37293920
I was just making sure nobody cheated. And napping. Mostly napping.
>>
Rolled 60560 (1d100000)

>>37293898
*yawns and deflects* <Shard Storm>

>>37293901
Interesting
>>
>>37293898
C'mon Soros, kick her ass!

Not, uh, not literally, though, because last time we met I got the impression she was into that kind of stuff.
>>
>>37293831
THAT'S NOT FUNNY!
><Thunderclap>
*Draconis awakes confused* "WHO WHAT WHEN WHERE WHY! ADVENTURERS IN MY LOOT?!"
*He roars loudly and sets the field on fire*
>>
>>37293869
Sure, why not? Got time to kill. Well, figuratively. Ok, not even that, but who cares? Show me what you got!
>>37293890
How can I believe you, guy? Seriously, a paradoxmancer? In how many versions of the future that thing is NOT going to happen?
>>
>>37293939
So will you go?
>>37293964
Coffee?
>>
>>37293964
Mage's guild Chill out.

>>37293962
We'll see.
>>
Rolled 22 (1d666)

>>37293960
Ouch! You filthy scoundrel! Try this one!
>>
>>37293920
Let's be honest here. It probably is. I mean, I thought murdering my old mentor was a fantastic idea and everyone agreed with me.
>>37293959
You are terrible at Wizard Poker.
>>37293964
Aw come on Mr. Draconis, Can't Zirconis play?
>>
>>37293830
Fan tastic!

>>37293826
>Drinks coffee
>>
>>37293962
I am into no variety of kicking, thank you very much.
>>
>>37293996
Ouch..
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>37293996
*throws a ball<Kinetic amplification*>
>>
>>37294022
Wait for it
>>
>>37294007
I believe I did a rather good job preventing anyone from cheating. There's only like one Rule anyway as I understand it.
>>
>>37294043
>waits for it
>>
>>37293944
*pulls out a book and reads a few pages, gaining 10 comfort and ending the game*
And that is that.
*takes his winnings from the table as the game, creatures, and various other things vanish*
>>
>>37294037
Ow! You dick!
>>
>>37294022
STAY DOWN!

>>37294031
What about spanking?
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>37293996
>The shame cone reacts to your failure and flatulates loudly.
>>37293984
How likely am I to end up in the infirmary with a shattered pelvis?
>>37293980
Prepare yourself.
>>37294050
And you broke it!
>>
>>37294058
and you should falling to the ground in 3, 2, 1
>>
>>37294070
A necessary evil to keep naughty humans in their place.
>>
>>37293984
Zirconis: No I think I need something stronger now...*sighs*
>>37293990
Draconis: Ahhh Soros, it has been a long time...how did I end up here? >>37294007
...my son summoned me in Wizard Poker huh?
Zirconis: ...sorry father.nds
>>
>>37294089
>>37294062
>>37294050
Good game Everyone.
>>
>>37294070
Oh, yeah, right. Forgot, that is the weird shit she likes.

>>37294107
The paladins still want your head.
>>
>>37294107
>Grins
What about naughty witches?
>>
>>37294089
I thought the only rule was to take your Loss/Leave punishment like a Mage? This game is horribly overcomplicated.
>>
>>37294065
Care to continue?
>>
>>37294089
Fifty-fifty chance. though if it happens, avoid my father at all cost.
>>37294114
Here you go
>>
>>37294070
>>37294094
>Transforms back to Noone
>Falls unconsious
>is still on fire
>>
>>37294136
Its only weird if you're not having fun
>>
Rolled 39 (1d666)

>>37294136
Come on, they already burned down my house and lit me on fire at the stake. I say we're even.

>>37294148
blushes.

>>37294152
I have not yet begun to fight!
>>
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>>37294089
Oh, hey, it worked! 10/10 pierre, I can always count on you. Except when you are hiding something. That is mots of the times. Whatever.
>>
>>37294179
Another victory for Mortimer!
>>
>>37293949
>>37294007
Yeah, I know. But that just means I have to work a bit harder to make it work.

I mean, I can tell I'm really close to figuring it out, I just have to assess exactly what doesn't work as intended so I know what to fix.

>>37294149
It really is. It's why I bowed out.
>>
>>37294179
>casts cone of cold to put Noone out

It's good to have you back! Lets go get you some hands, bud.
>>
>>37293980
None. You should know. There's a reason we in the biz call him Assmodeus, because his ass is too big to be tamed or confined to one single paradoxical space.

Besides, The only reason why I'm the First paradoxmancer instead of the "Honorable head of paradoxmancy" is because 1.- there is no department except for ME, and 2.- It sounds like a sexual act between inexpert apprentice wizards.

Which means, I have many iterations, and I have survived so far BECAUSE I'M A MASTER AT MY JOB! Thank you very much...

>(Damned prick, I give him good news and look at how he... Nhow can I thrushth a pharadöxmnancer??... Bullshit. No, not even bullshit, Nullshit. Fahjsfksarls)
>>
>>37294200
>Slowly burns to death
>>
>>37294132
I am simply the best dealer.
>>37294155
Well, I'll be blunt here. I'll most likely ruin everything. However, an old acquaintance of mine you may know by the name of The Fantastic Gregor would most likely be willing. Would probably be a lot better for the poor girl's self esteem as well. Failing that, Daveth the Bowyer owes damn near everyone here a favor.
>>37294149
You played explosive runes!
>>
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>wakes up
Uuuuuh, that was a nightmare, I dreamed Noone transformed into a warrior again, complete with that song.
>>
>>37294213
>Is killed because you cast cone of cold on someone in the negatives
>....Honestly, pat yourself on the back. +50 Karma
>>
>>37294224
see
>>37294213

>>37294189
>Grins
If you win, drinks are on me.
>>
>>37294199
*maximum blush* that's... a nice look
>>37294224
>Pours bucket of water on Noone
>>37294245
Ok then
>>
>>37294155
Thanks *drinks in one gulp*
>as the game ended Draconis is desummoned the moment he wants to berate his son about the dangers of gambling
*sigh* Perfect timing, I hope he forgets about this all before I return home.
>>
>>37294189
Really <Arcane lance>

>>37294199
Looking good Cromina.
>>
>>37294245
Thank you for dealing Pierre.
>>
>>37294258
>Falls to his knees

N-no. NO. NOOOO!!!!!

Does anyone know any resurrection spells!? Please!!
>>
Rolled 672 (1d1000)

>>37294282
>>
>>37294199
You have no idea how much training in disguises I have. You look great by the way, now go get your man.
>>37294265
It's nothing personal, I just don't want to upset your entire family when I fail spectacularly.
>>
>>37294245
I didn't play anything. Someone else played it by proxy.
>>
>>37294207
Hey sam! Do you like my new hair dye?
How's going with your "trying to tell the laws of physic to bend over" thing?
>>37294215
-suuuuuuuure. Why don't you sit here, then, and enjoy some of Mort's coffee?
Ehm. There's any healer here? I think this man needs one. Badly.
>>37294265
Do you think it is? A bit more conservative than what I am used to, but I guess it works.
>>
>>37294312
Owowowow!
>Magic lance impaling her straight through the torso.

I've got moar fight in me!
>>
>>37294224
>>3729425
Does anyone object if I take his corpse? I got a couple of projects he would be perfect for.

>>37294308
Well... I could reanimate him as an undead.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d66)

>>37294338
Sorry, I was certain I typed it in right.
>>
>>37294338

Holy Fuck! Come on! You can pull through!

And someone for the sake of the gods! Help Noone!!
>>
Krogrr
>is wearing headphones and reading a thick tome

Brogrr
>>37294199
>Wolf whistles
>>
>>37294148
>>37294189
We're supposed to be mages, goddammit.

If you're not using ghost noises to make a *bow chicka wah wah* track, you need to step your game up. Show some professional pride.
>>
>>37294366
>1d66
Woops that would have been an nice roll otherwise
>>
Rolled 359 (1d666)

>>37294338
>>37294366
*Chains of punishment*
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>37294199
That turned out pretty well. Nice work.
>>37294308
Hope this will be enough.
[Lesser Revive]
>>
>>37294258
>Skitters from it's hole in the wall and heads for Noone
>>
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>>37294368
>Gazes downward from the heavens
>>
>>37294337
It is a very nice look for you
>>
>>37294345
Touch his corpse and I will strike you down. I will not permit to see a friend made undead. Never again.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d6)

>>37294398
>impaled
>constricted
>Wriggles a hand free

I can still beat you, Soros!
>>
Rolled 627 (1d666)

*Sigh*
>I summon assmodeus to resurrect the elf...
And keep >>37294412
at bay.
>>
>>37294419
>but it's fucking Noone! who gives a shit?
>>
>>37294419
It's people like you who make it very hard to keep the Student Corpse Vault stocked properly.
>>
Rolled 5 + 4 (1d6 + 4)

>>37294443
*Whacks her with the staff*
>>
>>37294412
>>37294405
>Tears flowing down his scaley hide

Come on Noone, pull through!

Please Lord Stardust..help him...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>37294327
What are you implying? Look, we talked about it more than once. It just won't work, I mean. Love is something good people do. Living, good people. Evil, dead lass get no love whatsoever. So don't make me get started or-
>Ragnard the Gentleman's Wave of Fiery Hats
>>37294412
D-D-DAVETH?
>>
>>37294405
Nice try, now let me give it a go.
>starts casting greater reanimation

>>37294410
No, bad hand, get away, that corpse is mine now.

>>37294419
>stops casting
Spoilsport... well what do you suppose we do with him then? Do a proper resurrection?
>>
>>37294454
>>37294448

There elf, you're back and I owe Asmodeus a worrying ammount of cookies, as our deal is completed.
>>
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>>37294448
He is not yet done inflicting his failure upon this world! You shall not stay my hand!
>>37294454
BE GIVEN LIFE
>>
>>37294448
>>37294410
>>37294412
>>37294486

>No..... NOOOOOOOO
>>
>>37294405
>>37294368
>>37294486
I didn't think that would work either, oh well.
[The World will Hear and Obey: Shadow Override: Perfect Return.]
>>
>>37294480
Bleh!
>slumps to the ground
>>
>>37294532
Oh my
>>
>>37294532
>giggles
>>37294415
Ahw, that's so kind of you.
>>
>Noone raises from the dead. FUCK!
>>
>>37294568
I try.
>>
>>37294516
>You only paid my beers because I promised not to reveal your little secret, that doesn't mean I have to stand your shit Bowie!

>You always cheated in rockstar school, and you're still cheating now! you were banished, now fade like a MAN!
>>
>>37294455
Its people like me that keep the nightmares away from those who can't deal with them.
Now help him you peice of shi-
>>37294516
>>37294525
>>37294448

Well. Noone, welcome back. *Sniff* Looks like your'e going to be the centerpiece for a celestial war.
>>
>>37294516
DAVETH HAS SPOKEN!
>falls on her knees
>>37294590
You try.. what? Being kind, perhaps? You are very good at that, you know.
>>
>>37294532
All right *cancels spell and heals* Wanna try again or do you concede?

>>37294568
You're welcome.
>>
>>37294489
My child, how far you have strayed from the path of Glam. I pity you.
>>37294581
Rise, and torment this world further! Improve upon yourself, and realize your destiny!
>>
>>37294532
Come on Vex, you can do it! Get back up!

>Tries to help her up
>>
>>37294618
Thank you very much. And you say you are evil
>>
>>37294619
Vex never surrenders! You'll have to find some outlandishly impossible way to truly defeat me!
>>
>>37294606
*the shadow surrounding James dissipates and flows back to the floor as James rubs his head*
I really cant do things like that to often, so try not to die to much.
>>
>>37294650
I wonder what would happen if someone tried zombifying you while you were still alive...

SEEMS LIKE A GOOD TIME FOR SCIENCE!
>>
>>37294581
>sighs and walks over to Noone
Hold on to this amulet in case you die again, it should help me bring you back "better" next time it happens.
>>
>>37294606
"There is no noone... Only Zuul..."
>Cough
"Heeeeeeey buddy."

>>37294624
>Has no idea what you mean because he's a fucking idiot.
>>
>>37294619
Thank you, mr World Eater guy.
>>37294624
Wh-wh-what, no, no, my overlord daveth, I never-
Please help me redeem myself! Tell how can I atone, for I wish to walk the path again!
>>
>>37294693
You can't zombify a witch, silly.
>>
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>>37294618
>>37294708
Pacts with the lord of the abyss? Have you begun dabbling in metal my child? Fear not, for I am a forgiving lord of the chord. I may release you from your pact, if you so choose. So long as you uphold the righteous path of glam.
>>
>>37294619
>>37294650

"you heard the lady, Soros, hit her with a bucket of water!"
>>
>>37294650
Sometimes, it is best to know your limits Vex. *rubs his head* I doubt I could last more than a few rounds against him without activating my {Shadow Soul}.
>>
>>37294650
Your move then.

>>37294708
Don't make me duel you as well.


>>37294746
Just what i had in mind actually.

>>37294650
Ladies first.
>>
>>37294746
"Stupid messed up name tags."
>>
>>37294733
That's what they all say.

Note to self, assign extra credit for the students to zombify a witch.
>>
>>37294771
No, I mean, it's a rule. It's even on my birth certificate. "Vex never surrenders".

>>37294746
>realizes she's not wearing fishnets of water-proofing today

Wait, don't listen to him! He's just an apprentice!
>>
>>37294743
I'm curious, do you have the power?
>>
>>37294798
>Rips off his headphones
"DID YOU JUST SAY EXTRA CREDIT?"
>>
>>37294806
That sounds like it must be a pain to hold to.
I'm surprised you are still alive.
>>
>>37294825
What power?
>>
Rolled 268 (1d666)

>>37294783
Perhaps I should even that turn order out, then?
>throws temporary genderbending hex at you.
>>
>>37294826
Yeah, all you have to do is Zombify a witch, and bring me the Zombie Witch and a report explaining how you did it.

There's one right over there to try it on, actually.
>>
>>37294849
The power of voodoo.
>>
>>37294849
"The power of the force!"
>>
>>37294743
But my lord! I will lose my powers if I sever the bonds with the Nine Hells! How can I keep them while following your steps? Should I put my faith in the prog as you did with R'hobert the Fripp and the elder god of the Bra'an Ino?
>>
>>37294806
Kick their asses! Yu Can Doo Et!

>>37294673
Who? Me?
>Laughs
No worries friend, I'm bullet proof!
>>
>>37294871
Who Do?
>>
>>37294877
Don't try to frighten us with your sorcerer's ways, Noone. Your sad devotion to that ancient religion has not helped you conjure up the stolen data tapes, or given you enough clairvoyance to find the rebels' hidden fortress.
>>
Rolled 39 (1d1000)

>>37294850
I have form lock up, need to be stronger than that to do anything to me.

<Deluge>
>>
>>37294871
Who do?
>>37294897
My child, you have said it yourself. Sever the pact, and you shall know the favor and cosmic might of glam once more!
>>
>>37294898
That try not to die to much thing goes for more or less anyone.
>>
>>37294909
Not you.

>>37294934
You do. Don't you?
>>
>>37294868
"Oh sir, I would never try to practice magic on staff members. but don't worry sir, I'll find another witch!"
>>
>>37294928
I find your lack of faith disturbing, witch.

>>37294956
You too mate!
>>
>>37294934
But I can't- and yet I must!
and where the fuck did I put my CD's, I want to listen to his music dang it.
>>
Rolled 546 (1d666)

>>37294982
Save the choking for later.

>>37294930
The table has been flooped! Your powers fail you, diviner!
>>
so who is going to the ghost thread?
>>
>>37295033
>GROANS
>>
>>37295042
I already have it open in another tab
>>
>>37295042
I'll be there once this expires
>>
>>37295033
That poor table.
>>
>>37294970
Good luck, I'll be looking forward to inspecting your work once you return.
>>
>>37295033
>Smiles
Ha! Most definitely.
>>
>>37294964
Do what? Remind you of the babe?
>>37295018
I will not require your life, and as a champion of glam and prog, you shall have the power to reshape the very collective soul of humanity!
>>
Rolled 587 (1d1000)

>>37295033
*throws a sphere of Annhilation*
>>
>>37295042
dunno if I will, maybe when this expires
>>
>>37295042
Me, my brother, and Noone for sure!
>>
>>37295042
i will
>>
>>37295060
>>37295063
Meet you guys in the archives for drinks after all this?
>>
>>37295042
I Might
>>
>>37295080
Are we doing this by percentage or by pure number?
>>
>>37295107
But of course
>>
Oh gods damn it, I thought we were still having temporal disturbances so I didn't bother coming to the meeting since I thought it would get lost in time again.

What did I miss?
>>
>>37295079
My lord! I will do as you say! From now on I'll be questing for a way to get rid of my infernal bonds and walk the path of the gods once again!
>>37295042
should this expire, I will
>>
>>37295107
Well, naturally.
>>
>>37295042
I might hang around for a bit longer.

Oh and while I'm spoilering anyway, I finally took a look at the page on 1d4chan, I'm both surprised to see Quin is on the page and that Lazarus isn't.
>>
>>37295073
"Of course sir! come on brother, we need to find a witch!"

"Fuck you man, I wanna see Vex all wet."
>>
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/
Reposting for those that don't know how to get there.
>>
>>37295138
Cromina made a deal with Daveth the Bowyer, we had poker night, and we're going to party it up in the archives after this. You haven't missed it yet.
>>
>>37295117
Pure number Soros stands up to deities on a monthly basis. You're actually making him work for it. i figure the sphere ate your magic but missed you.

>>37295138
Wizard's poker and me dueling vex.
>>
>>37295150
just write your own piece yourself, res.
>>
>>37295138
Everything apparently. Nice to meat you Lupa, don't think we've met.
>>
>>37295142
It pleases me to hear you say that my child. Farewell, for I must ascend beyond this earthly plane once more!
>>
Rolled 554 (1d666)

>>37295168
Works for me

Zap!
>>
>>37295138
We played some Wizards poker, I finally won a game. Probably mostly because Pierre was dealing and Soros stopped playing.
Also Vex is trying to duel Soros for some reason.
>>
>>37295159
Don't worry Brogrr, there will be pictures for you when you return.
>>37295173
I just might do that.
>>
>>37295159
Easy there lads, I think that's a little too much woman for you.

She needs a little more man than that...
>grumbles to himself
..a lot of dragon man that is..a whole lot..
>>
>>37295219
He challenged me out of the blue, actually.

Probably because I'm awesome.
>>
>>37295197
>sheds a single tear watching him ascend
truly he is the mightest of us all. All we can be heroes but only Daveth can be so glam at that.
>>
>>37295168
I missed Poker night again!? Son of a whore!

>>37295166
I don't know, the archives are a moldy and damp place that I prefer not to stay in for too long...

>>37295175
Well, it is possible we have met before, but I certainly don't remember.
>>
>>37295079
With that hair, kind of?

Mostly I just want to learn how to be that glam.
>>
Rolled 38260797 (1d100000000)

>>37295207
ENOUGH OF THIS <NOVA BLAST> *is visibly frustrated*
>>
>>37295197
Goodbye Bowyer. You will be missed... Until someone else summons you, that is.
>>
>>37295236
Pretty sure Fryia started it, I filled in a few entries. Fuck me if I can remember all of you though.
>>
>>37295264
>dies
>>
Brogrr:
>>37295236
"If I wanted pictures I'd just do to witches gone wild."
>>37295251
"yeah well, that's just like your opinion man."

Krogrr:
"Honestly brother I don't get this perversion you have with single headed women."
>>
>>37295304
*Rips open the pocket dimension she hid in and drags her out* I think i win now, don't i?
>>
>>37295329
Where was I and how did I get out of it?
>>
>>37295258
Indeed. I dream that my charisma will ever be a fraction as magnificent as his.
>>37295259
I am almost certain we have not. I am Dramorn Oakenheart, my left arm is Darwin, say hi Darwin
>An eye manifests on the bicep, blinks, then blends back in
>>
>>37295362
>>An eye manifests on the bicep, blinks, then blends back in
EHW EHW EHW
ehw. Groooooss.
>>
>>37295259
Just because it's haunted doesn't mean its that bad. You aren't afraid of ghosts are you?
>>
>>37295348
When someone "dies" in the training area the are teleported to a pocket dimension for safety. I threw a very small star at you.

>>37295383
His arm is a mimic, an you are getting more girly by the second.
>>
>>37295325
You guys an ettin or something? I've never understood really, no offence intended.

>>37295383
You leave my poor arm mimic alone, besides, I like to surprise people when he detached and they see my warforged arm
>>
>>37295402
I'd say the glam is overtaking her. I wonder if it is a good pain.
>>
>>37295362
hm... Interesting... How did you get such an arm?

>>37295387
W-w-what?! C-certainly not. W-what would make you think something so outrageous?
>>
>>37295402
This sucks! I can't make stars, but I can't admit defeat!
>>
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>>37295402
>>37295422
Hey, I think shes improving! More likeable by the second. And much less stuck up!
>>
>>37295431
Is this about the ghost of wizardmas past haunting you around the holidays?
>>
>>37295434
Just admit defear, weakling. You honestly couldn't kill any of the female mages here if you tried.
>>
>>37295422
I guess, thought she was tougher than that.

Also yes she is terrified of them.

>>37295431
Liar.

>>37295434
I won 2 out of 3 you know the rules. I invoke my winners clause right now.

>>37295459
Just don't jump her bones.

>>37295480
Hey she made me work for it in round 2.
>>
>>37295480
Let's be fair here, she gave Soros a hard time. And survived the guild hall relocating on top of her.
>>
>>37295434
I think it's time you make a "strategic withdrawal".

>>37295431
The original kept enslaved to someone. So I removed it. When a warforged agent came to reclaim me, I took his in its stead.

I got lil Darwin here from Carnifex the Fleshwarper and Manus, The Master Biomancer.
>>
>>37295434
There is a saying among necromancers "It's not technically admitting defeat if you die and come back from the dead". While death in the training area isn't a true death I think you can use our saying as a loophole if you wish.
>>
>>37295480
That's kind of specific. Are you implying I could kill the male mages?
>>
>>37295500
Definitely not my type.
>>
>>37295421
Brogrr speaks first "You know like how an Ogre is like a lesser giant? well an Ettin is like a Lesser us."

Krogrr then says "No you idiot, that's not what it is at all it's [5 metric fuck tons of bullshit] And that is what we are."
>>
>>37295475
I hate that guy too. Always bringing up all of the corpses of the innocents I killed, yadda yadda. Bigger prick than Fryia.
>>
>>37295525
You try it and so help me I will glue that cone to your head and cast a permanent illusion of humanity on you.
>>
>>37295525
>Grins and chuckles
I would honestly like to see you try. I'm not trying to be ruse, I'm just curious .
>>
>>37295475
...N-no...

>>37295500
I-I AM NOT A LIAR!

>>37295510
ah, I thought I recognized Carnifex's work. that's why it's so lack-luster.

>>37295525
Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...
>>
>>37295525
Please don't try it.

>>37295524
We also have another saying "Why fight fair when I can fight from halfway across the continent via army?"
>>
>>37295500
Oh, right, I forgot we actually decided on a round limit.

Whoops, yeah. By the rules, you win.

Oh no! Wait, I mean... I don't want to go three days without clothes!
>>
>>37295561
...
Hello, crom. Who's a prick?

>>37295573
>Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...
Compared to us everyone is, dear lupa...
>>
>>37295588
>>37295572
>>37295564
I'm not planning on trying!
>>
The Glam-god left already? Crap.

Guess it's time to go off and have a smoke. I have some pipe-weed to spare if anyone has a match.
>>
>>37295597
<Instant Stadium cheer>
"WWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TAKE IT OFF!"
>>
>>37295525
Even though it wouldn't really affect me, I'd rather you not try it. Pretty sure I'm not able to do much resurrection stuff.

>>37295561
Fryia's not a prick! She just...I dunno, she gets a bit high-strung at times, is all.

I'm hoping I can at least get her to reconsider her stance on my magical girl research...

>>37295588
I like that saying.
>>
>>37295573
NEXT PERSON THAT COMES AT DARWIN IS GETTING PUNCHED.

Besides, I would like to see you do better than the Master Biomancer!

>Well, the males here ARE kind of weak...
What in the nine hells are you saying? I'm the strongest one here!
>>
>>37295573
You're an alchemist, brew up some holy water and molotov his ass back into the afterlife!
>>37295597
Technically the SHAME CONE is clothing.
>>37295626
Aw, you missed poker night. And Daveth the Bowyer descending from the heavens.
>>
>>37295626
Oh FUCK. Worst timing ever.
>>
>>37295573
>>37295626
Oh c'mon you two, quit with the elitism. Afterall males are better. Lemme show you!
Lemme show ye
lemme...

>>37294253
You're male right?
>>
>>37295554
Ok then

>>37295525
I will kill you for real if you try.

>>37295573
SURE YOU"RE NOT! *shit eating grin*
Ever since we were young you've been piss terrified of them.

>>37295597
No Illusions or spells to cover you either, Environmental sustainment spells are alright though.

>>37295626
I recall beating you in a duel twice Fryja.
>>
>>37295678
Well, I wouldn't have to wear it when we go to the archives, anyway.

>>37295659
What? here? now!?
>>
>>37295597
Perhaps you could stay at home?
>>
>>37295525
You might be able to fight me normally, but if I use my {Shadow Soul}, it would probably turn out about as well as it did for you against Soros.
>>
>>37295475
Hah, I remember that guy. He was pretty nice to have around despite his morality preachings. He stopped coming by after I started to test spells on him though.

>>37295588
Yes, that a personal favourite.
>>
>>37295670
You should arm wrestle Lupa.
>>37295707
It will still be there, ever reminding you of the eldritch stank of defeat.
>>
>>37295707
"YES!"
>>
>>37295707
You can take your clothes off later
>Winks and Laughs

Who's ready to party in the archives?
>>
>>37295743
She might loose her arm.
>>
>>37295666
Thanks for the word you said which I choose to consider as a compliment rather than an offense.
>>37295678
Daveth the Bowyer? This is rich, I would have liked too see it. Let me guess, crom went into some weird religious fervor upon seeing him.
>>37295694
Just shut up already, Soros.
>>37295691
crom is bad at D&D
>>
>>37295597
Oh, don't be a baby and just do it already. I had to be naked for a full year because I lost a bet, and you didn't hear me complain about it.

>>37295670
Pfffffffft... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's a funny joke.

>>37295678
B-but the church and gods won't let me make Holy Water after the incident...

>>37295694
I HAVE NOT! WHO TOLD YOU THAT!?

>>37295692
Well I'm looking at you right now, and I'm most certainly am not impressed.
>>
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>>37295795
>>
>>37295798
I can bench press a giant, what can you do?
>>
>>37295796
She is apparently undertaking a quest to renounce the metal of Asmodeus and take up the righteous path of glam. I don't pretend to understand.
>>37295798
I can show you how to scribe a circle of protection if you need it. Not going to lie though, wasn't expecting this.
>>
We archiving this thread, by the way?
>>
>>37295831
>>37295798

YOU WANNA FUKKEN GO THERE LASS?!
>>
>>37295833
That's child play, ever tried to bench press a giant USING ANOTHER GIANT?
>>37295796
And you are bad at GMing, goblin-fucker.
>>
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>>37295692
No dice, I haven't been male for over a century... and actually I'm not sure if my current body has a gender. But for convenience sake I think I'm currently refereed to as as female as that's what I was before this latest transformation.

Try Soros or Lazarus, they are male.
>>
>>37295798
Hey! Im the best of my kind on this guild!
>whisper:totally unrelated to being the only enchanter around, but hey fine you know.
>>
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>>37295749
>>37295798
Dammit... okay... Just stop looking at me like that!
>>
>>37295871
Yes. I don't have the best sense of balance, so I usually end up with a giant falling on my face.
>>
>>37295865
I would assume so. Who got the last few?
>>37295871
>>37295870
>>37295831
I'm not running a battle of the sexes game.
>>37295871
Rekt
>>
>>37295897
<Fog cloud>
>>
>>37295796
Make me. *stick out tongue playfully*

>>37295798
Observation, and they fact i used to pull a lot of pranks on you using them.

>>37295897
All of it rules bind you.
>>37295871
You're welcome.
>>
>>37295833
Well, I have beaten quite a few rock giants bare-handed. Though I did ruin my nails. Took me forever to replace those.

>>37295870
Pft, anytime, little boy.

>>37295939
THAT WAS YOU!? WHY YOU CHEEKY BITCH, I'LL HAVE YOUR HEAD FOR THAT!
>>
>>37295859
... this is so... so Cromina of her. Who would have guessed.
>>37295877
>I haven't been male for over a century
Is there something you'd like to tell me, sweetie?
>>37295939
How dare you, I have a woman and I'm not cheating on her.
>>
>>37295897
>Shifts uncomfortably

You should have told me you were going to lose, I wouldn't have worn half-plate
>>
>>37295897
....Well then. Might want to steer clear of Lupa. She steals skin.
>>37295970
Well, it will probably make her live longer.
>>
>>37295897
On the bright side, You only have to run around naked, Not walk!
>>
>>37295961
>Fumes silently

I'm better than this, I'm better than this, I'm better than this...
>>
>>37295796
...High-strung?
Actually, now that I think about it it could have sounded a lot worse.

I have some research literature about what I've been working on - you've been here a lot longer than I have, so I was hoping maybe you could explain why the thesis got rejected?

>>37295877
That's...a little frightening honestly.
>>
>>37295928
".......WHY DUDE! WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
>Punches Krogrr
>>
>>37296002
It is rather witchy if you think about it
>>
>>37295987
I really wonder how.
>>37296012
Why shouldn't I. What was your thesis about?
>>
>>37296010
Aw, what the matter? Are you afraid that mean and very sexually attractive lady is going to put you in your place?
>>
>>37296050
Who would want to kill a champion of glam?
>>
>>37295961
Centuries ago Lupa let it go. Besides you got some nice physical reactions out of it.

>>37295970
What? Why would you think that?
>>
>>37296059
Yeah, go tell him lass
>>
>They both start fighting
>>
>>37296059
Look human, I am confident enough in my own, non magically enhanced strength that I don't have to get into a pissing contest.

And sexually attractive? Please. Besides we dragonborn find attractiveness in one's personality, and yours is decidedly vile.
>>
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There, are you happy now?
>>
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>>37295970
Oh, right... that's why I didn't bring up the lolimancer's curse before my mind went all wonky...

Well I already told the story last meeting I was on. Before I stumbled into the Witchcraft Faculty with that lolimancer's curse, well....
>puts on a fake moustache
I was a wizard, a male one. To be honest I thought I told you back then, did it really slip my mind?
>>
>>37296074
Perhaps the champions of rap and hip hop? The mighty heroes of progressive and hard rock would probably got her back, thought... I keep getting the feeling this thing is actually deeper than it seems...
>>37296076
... well you asked me to make you.
>>
>>37296133
>Sweats draconically

Bahamut preserve me.
>>
>>37296133
All of it deals a deal <Fog cloud>

>>37296143
Alright then i guess.

Anyways i am out for an errand see you all later.
>>
>>37296122
Will someone seperate Tweedle-dee and Tweedle-dumb?

>>37296132
...I'm sorry, I must have heard you incorrectly, but did you just call me unattractive?
>>
>>37296160
You haven't heard the last of me!
>>
>>37296160
"Already took care of it, sorors. see >>37295928"
>is headbutted by Brogrr
>>
>>37296135
I see. Truth to be told, young lady, you should have talked to me about this years ago, but at least now all of those jokes Jheska used to tell make way more sense.
>>
>>37296178
I think he tried his damned hardest to.

But he's a dragonborn, so he kinda sucks at it.
>>
>>37296160
>Accidentally casts a Gale Wind that clears the fog

Oh My Heavens! What Have I Done!
>>
>>37296133
>sweating and muttering
this is why so many wizards lose their powers...
>>37296178
He said your personality was. Wait, can you steal that from people in a dark alley too? If so, bravo. That takes some talent to do without spells.
>>
>>37296143
The champions of rap and hip-hop are almost all Black Mages. Make sure you be careful whenever you see one, you never know if they will kill you.

>>37296178
>>37296205
I got it.
*steps between the two of them and starts blocking their attacks*
Quit it you two.
>>
>>37296158
>not based tiamat
You such a pleb, Dramorn. So pleb it hurts.
>>
>>37296228
"I think you cast a spell that cleared away the fog."
>>
>>37296050
Well I've learned a lot about how magical girls and their magic works, ever since having found that trinket. Their history is still a mystery, but the way they were taught to use their craft is really quite interesting. It's like their emphasis was on pure destructive energy, to the point paladins would get a bit antsy at the inability to differentiate between "a magical girl got into a fight" and "a demon caused a giant explosion".

Apparently the reason they were folded into the mage's guild was that since we have so much power going around, we'd be able to keep them in check. But the committee was convinced that it was all "junk research" and "irrelevant to advances in magical theory". What do you think?
>>
>>37296236
As if. My personality is perfect and has always been perfect. Everything about me is absolutely perfect. I don't need a new personality. He's obviously just stupid.
>>
>>37296252
How....how did you do that? They're one person with two heads and you....and you....Oh no, did I eat the mushrooms again?
>>37296143
Sounds like a hell of a quest.
>>
>>37296215
>>37296215
Insults are not our strong suit.

>>37296178
Separate them? They are an ettin, why do you wish them dead?

Also, I can't be sure how most humans see you. But yes.
>>
>>37289462
>apologize to local government
>despite doing nothing wrong
The abbot warned me you arcanists were spineless.
>>
>>37296252
They're two heads on 1 body

>>37296133
"I honestly don't get why you're acting so weird about being naked, we are elves after all."
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>37296160
>Casting Censorship Conveniently placed Beams of Light!
>>
>>37296306
Ah, I see, I haven't interacted with Dragonborn's for so long, I forgot how dull-witted they are. In that case, I shall remember to ignore you opinion from now on.
>>
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>>37296212
Actually I did the mistake of asking her to deal with it. In the end I decided I enjoyed the Witchcraft Faculty and accepted the change. Studding under you made it all worth it Fryia, I want you to know that.
>>
>>37296299
>>37296311
You act like putting my hand between their heads is difficult.
>>
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Ah! Who is responsible for this!?
>>
>>37296253
Get that Kobold shit out of my face. All the Dragonborn of my family have been Metallic all the way down to Durzegon the Radiant. Besides, how do you not find all those heads freaky? Imagine a giant with ten heads, imagine it.

>>37296264
Did I? Whhhhaaaat?
>>
>>37296394
The SHAME CONE...I'm calculating 98% odds on Soros doing this to mess with me as well. I know better I KNOW BETTER. I'LL NOT LOSE MY WIZARD POWERS THAT EASILY.
>>
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>>37296394
not me.
>>
>>37296275
I think it is ridicolous to put together daemons and magical girls, for starters. What about Crom then.
Besides... Well, but their emphasis *is* on destructive magic, actually. Getting folded into this guild was a risk I am surprised to heard Antruthius took, but I don't think your research is to be so easily dismissed as worthless. What about quin? You could bring her before the commitee as a living proof of your theories.
>>
>>37296384
>>
>>37296458
Why my nametag
>>
>>37296394
WHO INDEED!

>>37296375
I interact with humans daily, so I'm used to your people's brand of hasty idiocy. And please do refrain from speaking to me, that would be lovely.
>>
>>37296458
I'm not going to be impressed by Quin, I could have scooped her up and brought her in!
>>
>>37296314
Meh. I tried. I'm tired and distracted. I think I'll head back to my room and try to get it cleaned up. Try not to die everyone.
>>
>>37296495
... sorry. You did use my tablet last meeting, didn't you?
>>
>>37296501
Hey, Lupa don't be so mean to my dragon friend.
>>
>>37296527
Yes I did. At least keep it under spoiler, fucking cretin. Yes I did.
>>
>>37296522
Have a nice evening.
>>
>>37296522,1
Soon my child, soon.
>>
>>37296528
If I see an Idiot, I will call them an Idiot. I don't give people preferential treatment just because they happen to be friends of a colleague.
>>
>>37296522
Hope to see you in the archives later tonight!
>>
>>37296448
Lupa, I'm sure the spirits have left that musty old archive by now
>>37296556,1
Hush my child, she'll hear you
>>
>>37296554
Well take your nametag off next time after the meeting.
>>
>>37296556
Not as good of a night as who I meant to aim that spell at will be having.
Don't censorship while distracted kids. Someone might get censored in full clothing!
>>
>>37296570
It's one thing to dislike someone for their idiocy. It's another to be unreasonable for no reason. I will avoid having enemies within these halls, Gods above and below know I have enough already, but you are making that increasingly difficult.
>>
>>37296570
You don't have to be so rude about it.
>>
>>37296570
>>37296622
Quit it you two. We are all peers here. Be polite.
>>
>>37296588
um... W-who are you talking to?

>>37296622
Pft, please, I don't have to listen to some young whelp who barely knows how the world works.

>>37296628
I'll be as rude as I want to be, thank you very much.
>>
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Haha time to curl up with my dogs and watch Shrek while eating chicken nuggets!
>>
>>37296661
Or they can settle their differences in a Magic Duel!
>>
>>37296400
>Besides, how do you not find all those heads freaky?
Vore fetish.
>>
>>37296570
You gonna make it to the archives?
>>37296628,1
No, none shall forget you while I draw breath
>>
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>>37296275
Think I could have a look on that thesis of yours? I might be able to add something.
>>37296458
I would indeed be willing to stand as living proof of Sam's theories.
>>37296503
I think I have figured out how I did that weird transformation I hit Noone with, want to be my next test subject?
>>
>>37296661
Ever the cool head.
Do you see a lot of diplomancy in your life as a noble?
>>
>>37296675
No one. Nothing to worry about
>>37296698
Yes. Please refrain from jokes about making me a real man.
>>
>>37296675
The spirit in the archives

It wants to make Vex its thrall.
>>
>>37296689
Pierre, your ghost posts are still posting here. Your posts are alive!
>>
>>37296689
I guess... B-but you're sure their aren't any ghosts?
>>
>>37296737
Never!
>>
>>37296681
You can't solve everything with duels. And hurling insults is actually akin to a duel between highly skilled wizards. You know how words can hurt? Sometimes they don't need to be Power Words.
>>
>>37296744
Of course I'm sure. You act like I never talk to myself
>>37296738
I had an idea about linking to ghost posts from /tg/ and it worked. Gonna get some mileage out of this one.
>>
So this is all a fetish thread for someone who gets off to misuse of power right?
>>
>>37296765
That's boring.

But I bow to your wisdom, Master.
>>
>>37296721
Yes, it is one of the many skills you have to pick up when dealing with the politicians of the Kingdom.
>>
>>37296765
Sticks and stones and what not.
>>37296744,1
Yes, you shall feed on their fears.
>>
>>37296675
>Pft, please, I don't have to listen to some young whelp who barely knows how the world works.

Whelp? How old do you think I am exactly? And don't you dare talk to me as if i have not seen the world in all its grandeur and horror. I have loved, lost, enslaved, freed, fought and killed on both sides of the law and seen whole cities burn and be rebuilt. And you would say I do not know the world?
>>
>>37296737
As long as it doesn't keep her from teaching.
>>37296820
Not what?
>>37296686
I thought yours was tentacles Crom.
>>
>>37296844
What!? No! I don't want to have any more masters than I already do!
>>
>>37296844
Eh, having only one at a time is kinda boring.
>>
>>37296844
Don't know, never paid much attention when I was being lectured
>>37296860,1
YOU TAKE THAT BACK.
>>
>>37296860
What about a partner?
>>
>>37296881
".....I honest to gods know this one piece of smut you might really like then."
>>
>>37296886
Ghostpost linking isnt working and its making it look like you're talking to other people like a crazy person.
Which is hilarious
>>
>>37296732
Hah, good comeback.

Actually I have looked into if I can use it to transform males into magical girls, no success yet. But don't worry, I know you aren't interested in volunteering for THAT so I won't try it on you once I figure it out. Besides, we made a pretty good team when you wanted to give Noel pants, even if I was only supplying the power.
>>
>>37296890
My people prefer the term "minion".
>>
>>37296916
Don't you mean OUR people?
>>
>>37296905
That's the idea. I'm having fun haha
>>37296911
You are simply the best marshmallow cat
>>37296911,1
What? Who cares about the dragonborn, he wasn't part of the deal!
>>
>>37296932
Yeah, sure. Whatever.
>>
>>37296916
I prefer the term "Student"

Just as effective as minions, only they work for grades and not money.
>>
>>37296916
Ah, a little domination thing goin' on huh?
>>
>>37296839
Please, I've done all that too, and I'm pretty sure I did it a couple of centuries before you were even born. compared to me, most people in this guild are but infants just coming out of their mother's womb. I have conquered death, made nature my plaything, and have created several armies from scratch over the many years. I have had several children, all of whom are now dead, and I am now on my 94 times great grandchildren. So you do not impress me at all, oh 'Great Dragonborn'.
>>
>>37296886
You killed you master, they say.
>>37296881
Crom.... honestly I cant help but find you to be rather disgusting sometimes.
>>
>>37296944
WHAT
>>
>Leave to find a dead witch
>>
>>37296970
Hey Lupa, I think there's a Phantom in the archives that just called you a guy.
>>
>>37296958
We prefer the term "unconditional love".

>>37296957
Grades? I've just been rewarding my students by letting them live. What's all this about grades?
>>
>>37296932
What do you mean YOUR people?
>>37296932,1
Lupa's a woman you fool, just because she hates ghosts doesn't mean she won't go beserk!
>>37296905,1
MY GOD, HOW DID YOU DIE?
>>37296976
Yeah, Secretus. He was a godawful prick.
>>
>>37296698
You can read it, sure. Please don't make any changes, just...you know, tell me any inconsistencies you find.

>>37296458
What I was thinking was they needed a demonstration - I know you're still not the biggest fan of it, but maybe you'd be able to help with that? And no, you would not be anywhere close to the line of fire.
>>
>>37296916
I kinda like your people's habits. When I am not the minion.
>>37297007
Elves. Bloody Elves.
>>37296976
No offense taken lass.
>>
>>37297007
"Elves. Duuuuuh."

>>37297007
"Okay."
>>
>>37296991
Nothing.
>>37297018,1
My gods, its as if she's really there! Speak to me! Name your killer!
>>
>>37297000
O-oh... I-is that so... W-well, I'm going to correct him aren't I. Maybe next Wednesday... I think I'm free then...
>>
>>37297052
Seriously, reading the ghost thread and reading how it looks here is fucking hilarious
>>
>>37297007
You never told me about him in the end.
>>37297018
Will it include Noel?
>>
>>37297040
Oh. Carry on.
>>37297040,1
No of course he's not a mage. Well, I mean I don't know. Maybe after that thing Quin did.
>>
>>37297040,1
"No I'm the liaison from the thieves guild. Duuuuh."
>>
>>37297004
Really? How unconditional is unconditional?

>>37296970
It seems an awful lot like your the one trying to impress me.
>>
>>37297089
You're the one who started this pissing contest, not me.
>>
>>37297059
Well, normally i'd willing to make a go at kicking that ghost's ass because I don't get to duel them nearly often enough... but because it is after you in particular, I might hold off for a bit.
>>
>>37297089
>>37297110
I still think you should duel one another.
>>
>>37297142
"What is it with you and duels?"
>>
>>37297004
Think of it this way: grades are kind of like a *degree* of letting your students live.
>>
>>37297088
YOU CAN SEE THEM TOO? AM I DEAD?
>>37297077
fun intensifies
>>37297081,1
No one likes a smartass, how am I supposed to avenge you if you don't name your killer!
>>37297089,1
Well, Soros is rather full of himself, and Fryia is struggling with latent morals. I'm afraid I just don't know what to do about it, I'm getting them too lately. But you're there for me. You understand.
>>37297080
He was every bit as powerful as Soros, and put all that power into being a complete prick.
>>
>>37297052
Pierre, I can't help but notice something if off ... it is like you decided that the principle of cause and effect does not apply to you anymore.
>>
>>37297142
"And why are you naked? Have you no shame?"

>>37297167
"See what?"
>>
>>37297156
You're pretty awesome, Vasha.

>>37297155
They make everything simple and easy.
>>
>>37297173
What? I'm not communing with the dead. Who said I was?
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37289462/#q37297089_1
>>
>>37297142
A simple enough way to settle an argument.
>Whispers
Do want some clothes? You seem cold my dear.
>>
>>37297197
I'm not doing this on purpose! And you're the chump that said it's okay because "I'm an elf"!
>>
>>37297080
Only if she wants to, and in that case she won't be in the firing line either.

And all this talk of ghosts is really getting me on edge. C'mon guys, c-cut it out.
>>
>>37297248
"When did I say that?"
>>
>>37297248
Well, he is an elf after-all, so he has a point.
>>
>>37297197
HAVE I GONE MAD?
>>37297217,1
WHAT IS REAL? TELL ME O DECEASED CAT PERSON! Wait no don't, I'd probably believe it.
>>
Uhhh- no one wants to talk to me. Hello my friend barrel of ale, why don't you call over your brothers so that we can haz some fun together?
>>37297167
How did you manage to kill, kill, kill him then *hic*! You suck at, at, proppppper magic!
>>
>>37297247
Don't let the elf squirm her way out of her bet. She made it and now she has to live with it.
>>
>>37297247
I'm freezing, but I'm not allowed to wear any for three days.

And Vex never welches on a bet. Especially when my opponent can create magic nukes.

Just saying, Soros is seriously OP.
>>
>>37297173
He is dabbling in necrocomunication by the looks of things.
>>37297264
Boo!
>>
>>37297264
Tell me about this experiment of yours then.
>>37297217
I know, I just wanted to fool around
>>
>>37297283
Stabbed him in the fucking face, that's how. Planned it out, waited for the proper moment using everything he taught me. In that one moment all of my anger came to bear and I was ecstatic. Then he devalued the whole thing by chuckling and telling me I was earlier than expected, but he was proud nonetheless.
>>
>>37297199
You flatter me, miss.

So, what's going on with the nudity, pray tell?
>>
>>37297248
Again, would some clothes help you out? I'd hate for you to catch a sniffle. Then I would have to carry you back to you swamp and feed you warm soup by the fire until you got better.
>>
>>37297281
"we're all mad here."

>>37297283
>Pops himself down next to his old pal Crom and gives him a hearty slap on the back
"Hey best buddy!"

>>37297319
"Why not make the room warmer then, you shameless sillynanny?"
>>
>>37297319
Let's be honest, a lot of us are OP, that's why all we ever do is just stand around and talk
>>
>>37297319
He really is. So are a lot of the other mages. That is part of what makes the Mages guild fun!
>>
>>37297264
No ghosts here
>>37297283,1
Hush, they're getting suspicious. Is that mimic looking at you?
>>37297363
I appear to have underestimated you.
>>37297366
Lupa, you look a bit uncomfortable, is everything alright?
>>
>>37297366
Well its only to be expected in a meeting of mages.
Though even then Non-mages are pretty tough.
>>
>>37297319
Ah, well a blanket isn't clothes now is it?

>Produces a woollen blanket from his satchel
>>
>>37297366
I'm a little surprised you guys went that route. But oh well, Vex is a weakling here, then.

>>37297363
I didn't want to impose. I remember everyone telling me not to mess with the thermostat around here.
>>
>>37297338
*hic!* cheer up man, you, you did nothing, nothing wrong. Just killed sum bashtard, who never did? I have, have killed to many peoples I keep getting so many ghosts haunting me, they, *hic!* have started to, to take turns. Hic. You are, are not a bad guy, Pierre. I am