“Wake up, sir.” You simply slump in your seat a little more, just enough to let your hat-brim fall over your eyes a little more – a motion that, to any outside observer, could look like you're just shifting in your sleep. Unfortunately, your attacker is a ChairFarce man first and a loadmaster second, which means he takes especial delight in being a fucking prick. You hear him clear his throat with much preamble and brace yourself for the inevitable blast. “SIR, WE HAVE ARRIVED AT OUR DESTINATION Suff,” he finishes as you smack him across the face with the brim off your dress uniform hat. “Thank you, jackass,” you mutter as you painfully extract yourself from your seat. C-5s are built for capacity, not comfort – and during Our Current Difficulties, as POTUS has seen fit to call it, even Rear Admirals don't get priority for special rides. You could've waited for one, but that would've given the Navy more excuses to schedule you for impromptu speeches.Fuck that, fuck them, and fuck the barge they floated in on. The only memory of Los Angeles you need follows you around every day – and even speaks, on occasion. You jerk your thumb over your shoulder at him. “Want to wake him up, too?”
The loadmaster's eyes slide towards the sleeping man with short-cropped hair, and then back to you, smoldering with suspicion. You grin at him. “Can't blame me for trying.” You disembark the C-5 with the rest of the crew, and take a moment to stretch while standing on the tarmac. The concrete and asphalt of Yokota airbase sprawls out on either side of you far as the eye can see in the... you check your watch and do some math. It's only 0530, local time, and the sun's not quite up yet. You dust at your dress uniform, which seems remarkably unrumpled, considering your transit. You're supposed to have a JSDF counterpart meeting you here to drive you to Yokosuka, but he's nowhere to be seen – yet. It might be a good chance to talk to your charges and make sure everyone's on their best goddamned behavior. Especially Sammy.Goddamned Sammy. >wait for the welcoming committee>go wake up the walking nightmare>see to your charges
>>37535216>see to your chargesTime to meat the meat for the grinder
>>37535216HYPE AS FUCK NIGGA>go wake up the walking nightmare
>>37535216>go wake up the walking nightmarebest get it the fuck over with
>>37535216>see to your charges
>>37535216>enjoy a strudel with your noodle
>>37535216>go wake up the walking nightmareJesus that op picture is brutal.. we're that's not going to happen right?
>>37535216>go wake up the walking nightmare'ere we go
>>37535216>go wake up "The Renegade World Trade Grenade" walking nightmare.
>>37535306>Jesus that op picture is brutal.. we're that's not going to happen right?
>>37535306Have you watched the most recent episode? Hell yeah that shit happens.
>>37535349It's a show? I thought this shit was just plane fags mind.
>>37535189Dafuq? Planefag? Haven't seen you in a while.Haha, time for death and destruction.>>37535216>See to your charges
>>37535397It's a game, it's a fandom, and now it is a show, yes. Show's new this season.
>>37535397Just fucking avoid it. Read this because it's PF and it's bound to be funny as fuck, but the show/game/what the fuck ever else is terrible.
>>37535397It's a F2P browser game actually, it just is popular enough to get an anime. http://pastebin.com/AiGEeTPL
>>37535397Kantia CollectionFirst a web game, now its sprouted into something like Strike Witches. A large multi-media project.
>>37535216>see to your chargesI didn't expect this so soon. Did today's episode inspire you, planefag?
>>37535472and nothing valuable was lost
>>37535495I got wood
You find yourself having to choose between dealing with Sammy after she's been cooped up on a plane for a trillion hours, and having to wake up Corporal Hate. It's going to be one of those goddamned days, and the sun hasn't even insert-rising-sun-pun-here oh, fuck it. You trot back up the ramp and into the C-5s cavernous cargo bay, and over to the shitty little seat where Corporal Hate is sleeping. Settling your hat back onto your head, you dust off the scrambled eggs, for what little good it's worth, and take a deep breath.“FUCK!” The shouted expletive is the only warning you get before the horde is upon you. The sound of their excited little yips and thundering pawpatter echoes around the cavernous fuselage of the C-5 before thirty goddamned Corgis cannonball directly into Corporal Hate's lap, swarming over him with much barking, pawing and licking. “GORARMFUCKSHITDCXZ,” the Corporal seems to shout, rising from his seat, his bloodshot eyes red and raging, hands ready to kill. You feel a faint breeze which you attribute to the air molecules near him getting the fuck out of the way. Seeing this, the corgis finally settle down on their haunches, panting happily at the only man you've ever met that can handle the little bastards. You glance over at the loadmaster and his crew, who are looking at the prematurely-opened door of their very large dog carrier and then looking back at Corporal Hate. They wisely decide to leave the area, leaving you to retrieve the thirty leashes from inside it and hand them to the Corporal.He eyeballs you with bloodshot eyes as you hand them over. “I hate you,” he says, with real feeling. You smile at him. “Means I did something right!” >May as well see to Sammy, before someone gets owned.>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing. >You're a rear admiral now, fuck that noise, go get food.
I don't get it. What are you doing that's special and different from Kancolle already?
>>37535499That entire episode was tripping death flags so hard.
>>37535595>I don't get it. What are you doing that's special and different from Kancolle already?
>>37535189>>37535216Oh jesus christ a new ride. Take us places Mr. Bones.
>>37535585>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing.uguuu~>>37535595lol
Having fun over on /k/?
>>37535621I can go play Kancolle and swear to myself if I want. What's your gimmick?
>>37535585>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing.
>>37535585>HornetIf she regales us with tales of the Doolittle raid, this will make me moist.
>>37535643SUP FISHMAN, YOU FUCKING FAGGOT.>>37535585>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing.
>>37535631>He's already waifuing, albeit ironically
>>37535652I don't understand.
>>37535585>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing. >>37535595You're clearly not familiar with planefag, anon.
>>37535585>>You don't have enough sleep for that shit. Just go find Hornet, see how she's doing.So if we get Jap Ship girls, who do we D?
>>37535643The gimmick is that someone somewhere will get hilariously upset about 'muh shipgirls' and 'muh mindcanon' and try to shit post in these threads for a little while, until they eventually stop.Also: it will make shipsluts Super Interesting
>>37535678Someone will spoonfeed
>>37535671>FISHMANI don't know what you're talking about. Is there some in joke I'm missing? >>37535691I'm aware he did some Strike Witches quest. I read a few threads of it and didn't think it did anything that a normal fanfiction didn't.
>>37535691I want to see those little plane Kamikaze so hard.
>>37535643>I can go play Kancolle and swear to myself if I want. What's your gimmick?Fair 'nuff. They are as follows: 1. Hijinks. 2. Suffering. 3. ????4. PROFIT!Or go read the other kanocelle quest on the board right now and compare them real quick.
>>37535711I only have a cursory knowledge of the shipgirls and even I know what this is referencing.Shotago when?
>>37535585>May as well see to Sammy, before someone gets owned.
>>37535716>SWQ>didn't think it did anything that a normal fanfiction didn't.You only read the first few threads, didn't you?Oh boy, you're in for a ride.
>>37535585>>May as well see to Sammy, before someone gets owned.
>>37535595Why. Because we can anon. Because we can. We can take this festering pile of shit, and make something enjoyable out if it. Also it'll make people mad and that's usually fun. It's WW2. Maybe a dozen of the significant shipgirls make it out of the war?Remember.waifu the feelthyhornet, er, waifu Hornet. Yeah.
>>37535704Is there some reason there's a tripfag here?>>37535730Well, one's about a girl and that's immediately more interesting. Where are your girls?>>37535760I skipped around and wasn't too impressed.
>>37535730>compare the other shipslut questNow that's just mean.
>>37535776Isn't that already a part of Kancolle? All the girls who sank know they sunk. Sometimes they talk about it. Are you sure you're familiar with Kancolle?
>>37535785Holy shit man how new are you?
>>37535643The neckbeards. They appear.>>37535671You forgot the image bro. If you're going to call him out on his shitposting over waifus, do it right.
>>37535785>Is there some reason there's a tripfag here?Because we can, anon.
>>37535472I still think this tells everything about EP3
>>37535785Back to reddit and fanfiction you go!
>>37535785>Is there some reason there's a tripfag here?You are so kawaii to me right now
>>37535814I've been on /tg/ for six years.
>>37535867... Jesus Christ, you don't sound like it.Where were you two years ago?
>>37535785>Well, one's about a girl and that's immediately more interesting. Where are your girls?literally next post bro, keep it cool
>>37535881Not reading OP's stuff?
>>37535867Bullshit. Either that or this is your very first quest thread ever.
>>37535867If you haven't been here since '07, when /tg/ was good, then get out.
>>37535785>Well, one's about a girl and that's immediately more interesting. Where are your girls?Sad lonely virgin confirmed
>>37535907No, I just never got into SWQ and am, apparently, not part of this subculture.
With Corporal Hate occupied with glaring dirks and daggers at the corgihorde as he clips their leashes on one-by-one, you decide to find Hornet. The - girl, you suppose - has been worrying you lately. Bad enough how the other one is; you don't want both of them becoming silent recluses. You find her on the flight deck, still in the jumpseat behind the pilots, who are still scribbling industriously in their clipboards. They salute you politely before returning to their work. Hornet is staring off into space, across the cockpit at nothing. Her raven-dark bangs hang loosely on her dusky cheeks, her slate-grey eyes focused on nothing. And in her hands, being turned around again and again, thoughtlessly, is the black arrow. >Give her a talking-to. No more of this shit. She needs to be focused. >Let it slide. Some wounds never heal – you should know. >Remind her that you're always available to talk, and leave it at that.
>>37535942Why can't I be interested in girls?
>>37535958>Let it slide. Some wounds never heal – you should know.
>>37535983Because, if as it truly appears, they're all you base your quest participation on, you have problems.
>>37535958>>Let it slide. Some wounds never heal – you should know.We should be nice!
>>37535958>Give her a talking-to. No more of this shit. She needs to be focused.
>>37535983Because that's fuckin gay anon. What are you? Some kind of homo faggot?A la-la prancing man?
>>37535958>Give her a talking-to. No more of this shit. She needs to be focused.This is an angst-free ship!
>>37535472WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA?KI SA RA GI.
>>37535983>not interested in girlsWhat kind of faggot are you?
>>37535958>Give her a talking-to. No more of this shit. She needs to be focused.>>37535983at least give it time for some waifus to appear, that way you can threaten to leave the quest if you don't get spoonfed exactly what you want
>>37536011I can't like quests with more girls better than quests with less girls?
>>37535948holy shit someone on /tg/ that doesn't give a fuck who I am and isn't kissing my asswhat are the fucking oddsthis is a good thing
>Remind her that you're always available to talk, and leave it at that.In order to lead the ships, you must understand them. Become one with them, if you will.
>>37535958You wanna grab lunch?
>>37536038BLASTED IN HER BOOTY AND SUNK IS SHE! KI SA RA GI.
>>37535958>>Let it slide. Some wounds never heal – you should know.
>Remind her that you're always available to talk, and leave it at that.
>>37536079NAGATO WAS RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL THISKI SA RA GI!
>>37536057You can always go to ghost QTG if you want to wank to people hating you.
>>37536079IF BRINGING HER BACK UP BE SOMETHING YOU WISH.KI SA RA GI.
>>37535495>week ago planefag says some shit about MAYBE doing a short Kancolle quest>planefag, the dude remembered for taking silly nippon shit and manning it up, making shit more awesome and serious>3rd ep airs and we actually get a death>fucking hours latter planefag shows up with a kancolle quest>SHIPSLUT SLAUGHTERI don't think the episode has anything to do with it really.
>>37536040I... think you misunderstand what he said.>>37536057Personally, while I like your writing as funny and whimsical, I find your ability to finish a project, despite swearing to do so, extremely lacking.I'm saying you're not a man of your word.Back to work, maggot!All with me now! "Where there's a whip, there's a way!"
>>37536117SO SINK TO THE SEA FLOOR AND BE AN ABYSSAL WITH NO TITS! KI SA RA GI!KI SA RA GI!KI SA RA GI, A SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT
>>37536057Well doesn't your shit just smell of roses, you giant greek boy lover.
>>37536146>Personally, while I like your writing as funny and whimsical, I find your ability to finish a project, despite swearing to do so, extremely lacking.Anyone who's worried this is going to kill SWQ will have that delusion lanced in very, very short order. Take that as you will.
>>37536122THEN SHUT THE FUCK UP N CRY IN YOUR TISH!KI SA RA GI.KI SA RA GI!KI SA RA GI!KI SA RA GI!KI SAAAAA RA GIIIII! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
>>37536151I don't even watch or play shipsluts and this made me laugh
>>37535958>>Let it slide. Some wounds never heal – you should know.Haha! Someone we loved died horrifically! Sweet fuck we are not ready for the inevitable feels.
>>37536146Dude, you do realize he's been running SWQ since, like, fucking October at the least, right?
>>37536131I'm a big Kancolle fag and I think that's a perfectly fine direction to take Kancolle. It can be pretty dark if you want it to be, without making it something other than Kancolle.At the end of the day, Kancolle is about girls who are ships and they are very cute. If those girls happen to be in a bitter, sorrowful conflict...well that's a bit sad, but it's still perfectly Kancolle!
>>37536266Not that it's gonna stop the HARDCORE fans from bitching and moaning every time one of the girls gets a papercut or something...
>>37536318Um...no? Everyone knows the Kanmusu can sink. It's okay! It's fine! You'll just have to build another.
>>37535958>Remind her that you're always available to talk, and leave it at that.
2 fuel, 4 ammo, 11 steel!
>>37536266>>37536318>read up on kancolle shit few weeks ago>Some of the ships that survived to the post war nuclear tests have flashbacks about "that flash"Shit nigga.
>>37536397Good. Fuck Japan. Japan a shit.
>>37536196I don't expect anything anymore or try to worry about anything.Way easier to avoid disappointment.Instead, you're always surprised when something comes up!I was, back then, more invested in AWiY, anyway.
>>37536390I'm glad they confirmed that scrapping a Kanmusu just means they recycle her rigging.
>>37536390I don't play Kancolle, what am I looking at.>>37536397The navel base from the anime is near Hiroshima.
>>37536397Nagato is the one who references them the most including referencing it during her wedding, is kinda creepy
>>37536459the recycling of an unwanted shipgril.
>>37536146>I... think you misunderstand what he said.>The Joke-------------->Your Head
>>37536459Zubat-tier shipgirl who has a maymay about her getting dismantled for materials everytime she shows up.The pic is an example of someone demonstrating a more disturbing interpretation of "dismantling".
>>37536318But characters sinking is not something people object to, and darker themes appear in a lot of the side material. For example one of the Crane LNs has the Kanmusu respawning after they die and remembering everything, from the real life ships life to all their previous lives in a human body. >>37536459 2 fuel, 4 ammo, and 11 steel is the amount of resources you get for scrapping Naka, who is a rather common drop in the game. >>37536423What about all the American ships and the one German ship there?
>>37536459>I don't play Kancolle, what am I looking at.Scrapping a unit. Because Kancolle rarely clarifies anything, it was thought you actually reduced the girl to scrap.It turns out you just remove her weapons and armor.
>>37535958>>Remind her that you're always available to talk, and leave it at that.>>37535595Is this the guy that tried to fuck up the SW89 thread yesterday?
The Arrow is a long, lethal-looking shaft of heavy ebony, fletched with crowfeathers. A chiseled obsidian arrowhead glints wickedly at the tip, the volcanic glass razor-sharp. Hornet has never nocked it, and never will... you hope. You sincerely hope. You take a step towards her, your hand already rising to clasp her shoulder companionably – and then you halt. What are you going to say? That all wounds heal, in time? That someday, the loss won't hurt as much? It's horseshit, and you know it. You know it better than most, after Los Angeles. “Hornet,” you say softly. She doesn't react. “Hornet!” Her pretty grey eyes snap up to yours, and the black arrow vanishes into thin air with guilty dispatch. “A-Admiral,” she stammers, caught off-guard. “I'm sorry-” You silence her with a raised palm. “No need. Just come with me and get some fresh air, okay?” She nods, still looking a bit bashful, and rises to follow you down the narrow stairway to the cargo bay, and then down the ramp to the tarmac. Corporal Hate is waiting for you, his thirty corgis circling him warily, wrapping his legs up in a neat tangle of leather leashes. He gives Hornet a passing glance, then averts his eyes, able to read her expression fine.
>>37536768Standing next to Corporal Hate is the other worrisome member of your unit – the silent one. The collar of her duster is turned up high, and her face is turned away from you. Beneath her coat you can hear the slight creak of gun leather – she goes nowhere without arms, now. You can't really blame her. “Look,” mutters Hate. “There's the welcoming committee.” Sure enough, a man in JSDF flag-rank uniform is stalking across the tarmac towards you.“Where's Sammy?” you ask, not relishing the task of bringing her to heel. Hate shrugs. “I gave her a few boats to keep track of. She loves the damn things.” You're about to object, when you surrender with a sigh. It's honestly the best thing anyone can do – just keep her occupied. Sammy's a sweetheart when she's got something to do, but when she gets bored... things happen. “Wait,” you ask with sudden alarm. “Where's Wee Willie Worthless?” Hate shrugs, and shows you the leashes with a wicked grin. “Sorry, Sir. You kind of made sure my hands were too full to do anything about that.”>What-the-fuck-ever, formalities need to be handled first. > FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXED
>planefagNo fucking wayNO. FUCKING. WAY.
>>37536803> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXED
>>37536803>> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXED
>>37536803>FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXED>>37536830Dude, where you've been this fall?
>>37536830SWQ has been back for months, bro.
>>37536803> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXEDOh man, oh boy, oh man
You had one job, and that was nakaquest, and you failed it
>>37536803> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXEDPoor Willie D.
>>37536803>FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXEDWell this just reeks of shenanigans.
>>37536803>> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXEDGoddamn, we're going to need three of us just to keep tabs on people.
>>37536803>>What-the-fuck-ever, formalities need to be handled first.
>>37536859>>37536852I gave up on 4chan or else I would fail a qualification exam.
>>37536803> FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXEDThis should be good.
Who's fuck up chan?
>>37536803>FUCKUP-CHAN MUST NOT BE ALLOWED OUT OF OUR SIGHT, SHE'S JINXED
>>37536966Jackie Chan. He's always screaming bad day. Gotta make sure he's not near ladders and babies.
>>37536901>moot escaped this hell hole before you did;_;
>>37536587>It turns out you just remove her weapons and armor.I think that's actually worse, anon.
>>37536803>Fuckup-chanWait, is this William D. Porter? WE HAVE FUCKING PORTER IN OUR FLEET?THIS IS WORSE THAN THE FUCKING STEN GUNS.
>>37537063I'm sad now.
>>37537158Is that the ship that almost killed Roosevelt when he was headed to Tehran?
>>37537158... Is it too late to abandon our posting?
>>37537200The one and the same.
>>37537220Inb4 a USS Young.
You turn away from Corporal Hate and bolt back up the boarding ramp like greased lightning, terror filling your heart. Wee Willie Worthless's inadvertent talent for destruction is a force to be reckoned with, and one you've learned not to underestimate. You've barely made the cargo bay again when your nose detects the all too familiar scent of smoke and ahead – the flickering light of a fire. And you know for a fact this plane was carrying a fresh load of Standard Missiles for the 7th Fleet. You rip a nearby fire extinguisher off the wall so hard that the mounting straps rip right out with it, screws and all, and gallop sidelong towards the scene; the fastest way to move with your bad leg still on the (alleged) mend. Reaching the source of the fire, you play out the extinguisher on the unfortunate victim until the flames are smothered, and all that's left is a small girl curled into the fetal position, weeping miserably. The extinguisher has coated her chestnut-brown hair, lovingly woven into a braid, with a dusting of white residue, and the still-smoking pool of some sort of hydraulic fluid or oil or some shit is soaking into her singed uniform. “Willie,” you ask her, “how the fuck!?” “I J-J-JUST T-T-T-RIED TO TIE MY SHOOOOOES,” she wails, and begins crying again. Glancing aside, you can see the dent in the nearby shipping crate where her skull made contact with it when she probably leaned over too far. “Jesus,” you say, rubbing your face. This only makes the girl cry even harder. You want to feel sorry for her, but her constant fuckups have run you ragged lately – and of course, Sammy hasn't been any fucking help, either. “You're the new guy, I take it?” You turn around to find the JSDF Admiral looking you in the eye – and good Christ, he looks worse than you do. >Confirm, with tears.>Explain the situation. It's not as bad as it looks.>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.
When will Enterprise-sama grace us with her heroic presence?
>>37537158>>37537200>>37537218>>37537220>>37537224Well, on to shenanigans then.
>>37537200>>37537224I think we're fully entitled to say "Fuck this." and go AWOL.
>>37537249>Cuddle Willie she needs it.
>>37537249>>Explain the situation. It's not as bad as it looks.>>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.
>>37537249IT'S FUCKING PORTER. RUN AND KEEP RUNNING.
>>37537249>>Explain the situation. It's not as bad as it looks.
>>37537249>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.Find out what the future holds.
>>37537249>Confirm, with tears.TTK understands. He probably has a Naka or a Tenryuu or two.
>>37537249>>Confirm, with tears.>>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.
>>37537249>Confirm, with tears.>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.
>>37537249>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.
>>37537249>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.It begins.
>>37537249>>Confirm, with tears.
>>37537249>Confirm, with tears.>Explain the situation. It's not as bad as it looks.
>>37537249> This is exactly as bad as it looks. Then>Commiserate with a fellow tortured soul, he knows what fresh hell we've been through.Or, even better:> TO THE BAR- Proceed to get shitfaced and trade shipgirl stories with our counterpart. I'm waiting for pic related.
>>37537186I'm explicably aroused.
>>37537388Voting fucking over, this happens.
>>37537249Why have we not lashed Porter to our back with duct tape already? It keeps her from shooting her fellow shipgirls.
>>37537445>Lashed Porter to our Dick
>>37537249>Explain the situation. It's not as bad as it looks.>Ask him why he looks like he's been run over by a truck.Oh Willie.
>>37537445We'd be dead in hours.
The haggard-looking man has that faint beard and intense, almost mildly insane stare you associate with the kickass old samurai movies – everything you'd hoped for from a JSDF Admiral. The bloodshot eyes and obvious lack of sleep, not so much. You look down at Willie, who's weeping softly as she tries to melt into a puddle of failure and flow down a drain so nobody can witness her shame, and then back to your counterpart. “Yeah, so,” you mutter, “this is, uh, pretty much as bad as it looks.” Willie begins crawling away, slowly, as if you won't notice, her racking sobs growing even worse. The Admiral gives you a wild-eyed look that says all sorts of things you don't want to consider. “You poor son of a bitch,” he says, shaking his head. “You poor poor son of a bitch.” “Yeah,” you say, rubbing your head. “I guess you've got it even worse-”“No,” he says, slicing a hand through the air. “No. It's how you think it can't get much worse, right now.” You blink. “But-”“It will,” he growls as he turns away from you and walks towards the gangplank again. “Oh, Christ, it will.”
>>37537476If Willie is lashed to our dick then she'll cause us to trip, hit our head, and suffer a coma.
>>37537476>It turns out she's a healthy carrier of Megarrhea, an advanced, hyperinfectious form of Gonorrhea.
>>37537565If we die the suffering ends.
>>37537590No. This becomes Abyssal admiral quest. We have to work with surprisingly competent emotionless ship girls.
>>37537565>It turns out she's an healthy carrier of THE BEAST. Yeah, the HW:Cataclysm Beast. No, don't ask how it happened. It did.
>>37537590No, that's when Hornet!MC begins.
>>37537534You're making me feel pretty bad for Willie.
>>37537590 It NEVER ends
>>37537220The funny part is after the Porter got transfered to the Pacific they shaped up to be a reliable AA ship with minimal mishaps, even getting 4 battle stars before being sunk via kamikaze attack.
>>37537631So, immortality assured then?
>>37537624Fuck Wille, Talk to Hornet!
>>37537644>inb4 Willie takes 2411 levels in badass and becomes our Goddess of Anti-Air.
>>37537678So.. NTR Hornet?
So is Steamboat Wille the Maruyu of the fleet?
>>37537648In a way, yes.
>>37537644A kamikaze fighter that MISSED. Seriously, when a kamikaze fighter misses you and hits the ocean, and somehow manages to hold together long enough for the detonation to happen UNDER you, you know your luck is utter shit.
>>37537721Looks like it.
>>37537703Never! if we meet Enterprise maybe? But not for Wille.
>>37537743It was terrible luck but not caused by anything the ship/crew actually did.the equivalent would be a ship eating a lone torpedo that just so happens to somehow set off the main armaments powder magazine.
>>37537792No love for the Intrepid?
The next hour passes mostly uneventfully. You eventually have to bodily drag Willie Dee to the waiting van, and manage to get her in the middle-middle seat, between Hornet and the Silent Girl. Corporal Hate sits in back, amidst his horde of corgis, his eyes boring fire into the rear-view mirror. The JSDF Admiral, still unintroduced, hops into the driver's seat, and you all manage to get to Yokosuka unmurdered. Sammy was provided with “special transportation.” You're not sure what that means, but you did see a Pave Hawk taking off before you pulled onto the highway. Your arrival at Yokosuka is muted, given the ungodly hour. Base security gives you scrutiny, and gives even more scrutiny to the not-so-subtle air escort of shadowing helicopters. You carry precious cargo – Willie Dee included.There's many enemies, and too few warships of any sort. Corporal Hate departs for the kennels with his horde, a sour cloud squatting over him as he wrestles the headstrong little dogs that pull him every which way with ferocious force and insatiable curiosity. Hornet slips off somewhere, and the Silent Girl slinks towards the dorms like an extra in a spaghetti western, led by a nervous-looking JSDF seaman. Within a few minutes, you're sitting in the Admiral's office; a shot of Scotch in your hand before your ass hits the chair. There's a broad window behind you that shows the piers, and you can just see the first rays of the rising sun peeking over the ocean horizon. The Admiral refills your Scotch, which you made vanish rather fast. He doesn't bother with a glass for himself, taking a slug right out of the bottle before smacking it down. He sighs. “So.” >Wait for him to speak>Ask question? Specify.
>>37537806The equivalent is taking a single 5 incher from an aircraft carrier and having your oxygen torpedoes detonate.
>>37537844>Wait for him to speak
>>37537828>IntrepidCan't find any Ship Girl version of her so no.
>>37537844Struggle with your irritable bowel syndrome before talking to take your mind off the growing cramps in your stomach.
>>37537844>Wait for him to speak.Let him get it out at his own pace. We already know this guy has seen some SHIT.
>>37537844"What in the fuck is going on."
>>37537844>Wait for him to speak.
>>37537844Ask: "Explain the situation"
>>37537978I second this.
>>37537743Didn't all the crew survived the sinking?Isn't that Lucky in itself?
>>37538056They were forced to live with the shame of having served on the William D. Porter.
>>37537844>"How fucked am I and how much of my budget will I need to spend on scotch?"
>>37538056By some definitions, yes.
We have been cowed by the horror of "it gets worse"
>>37538056The CREW was lucky. The SHIP was not.
Someone should calculate the average time it takes for planefag to type so we can get a rough eta on the next part.
>>37538159Whenever it (our tears) pleases him the most.
>>37537845Which ship was that?
>>37538081And all her previous crew were ARRESTED when they got back to port after all the mishaps that were their fault while escorting the Iowa and President Roosevelt to that secret meeting.
>>37538159How nice of you to volunteer!
>>37538208HIJMS Choukai got hit by USS White Plains (CVE-66).
“This is fucking weird,” you say aloud. The man across from you seems to deflate, slumping over the desk. “Oh Jesus, I'm glad you said it.” With his forehead on the table, he pulls his hat off and rubs his short hair with a sigh. “What the hell is this shit?” You lean back in your chair with a sigh. “We were kind of hoping you could tell us more about that. Y'all have been summoning these things for a lot longer than us.” He sighs, straightens up, and finds you holding out your glass for a refill. He chuckles, and complies, matching you drink for drink. “Yeah, I got the whole briefing. They told me to let you down easy, but...” you tense up, expecting him to mention the Battle of the Bay, but he just shrugs. “You're the one man in the US Navy that nobody can bullshit, on this stuff.” “I wouldn't say that-”“You *saw,*” he says with a quiet intensity in his voice and eyes that stops your objections cold. “We can make up all the bullshit we want for the press and the politicians, but once you... see those things...” You both sit in silence. You watch his eyes, and wonder if yours unfocus when those scenes replay before your eyes – the dark cloud, the abyssals, the choking smoke- “The truth is, we don't have a fucking clue,” the Admiral says. “No more than you do. No more than they. We've summoned them with everything from Shinto rites to meetings of surviving crewmen from veterans associations. And sometimes-”“-they just show up,” you reply. “Like the girl in the coat.”
>>37538206>>37538225It takes on average 17 minutes (mean) for planefag to make 1 post, double that if he makes two consecutive posts(obviously).
>>37538346He humphs. “Yeah, I wondered why I didn't see any mention of her in the briefing. When did she show up?” “Not a week ago,” you reply. “She hasn't spoken a single word yet. We were going to keep her in reserve, but she showed up at the loading ramp of our plane before take-off and wouldn't take no for an answer.” “Huu,” the Admiral replies. “What's she got up her stack?” “A 410-millimeter shell converted into a bomb, last I checked,” you reply quietly. The Admiral takes a second to absorb that, before a haunted look enters his eyes. “What the fuck were you Yanks thinking, bringing her HERE!?” You shrug. “She wants to be where the fight is. She wants to sortie. She's been sitting at her berth for a long time. Who are we to refuse her, at last?” He absorbs that, and seems to deflate again. The heavy, damp atmosphere weighs heavily on you both, the wheezing air conditioner doing little to lighten the mood. >Ask question?>Just look out the window at the rising sun over the docks. Atmosphere, read it, etc.
>>37538393>Ask question?So who the hell is she?
>>37538393Ask: "Does this girl match with any warship in our records?"
>>37538393>A 410-millimeter shell converted into a bomb, last I checkedA- Arizona!?
>>37538393>410mm shells converted into bombs...Oh fuck.She rides again.
>>37538435>>37538454Oh, you guys know who she is. She was taken out by a 410mm armor-piercing naval shell converted into a bomb. It detonated her forward magazines. And she's been sitting at her berth ever since that day... ... waiting.
>>37538393>Just look out the window at the rising sun over the docks. Atmosphere, read it, etc.
>>37538435Why the hell would they know? She didn't show up in japan.>>37538393Atmosphere, reading, etc
>>37538454I like that, but isn't that a little too meta?
>>37538480Are you seriously suggesting that we brought the Arizona over here, spoiling for a fight? Oh, goddammit, we better find her before she hunts down and starts a brawl with the carriers who were at Pearl Harbor...
>>37538480SHE"S THE FUCKING ARIZONA?
>>37538521Anon, that is the Arizona.
>>37538393>Just look out the window at the rising sun over the docks. Atmosphere, read it, etc.ARIZONA IS BACK FOR VENGEANCE BITCHES
>>37538523>>37538521>>37538486>>37538483>>37538474>>37538473One and the same. USS Arizona.
>>37538393>>37538480>“What the fuck were you Yanks thinking, bringing her HERE!?” Oh jesus it all makes sense now. Karma's a bitch.
>>37538393Look out the window
>>37538393>>Just look out the window at the rising sun over the docks. Atmosphere, read it, etc.After a suitably dramatic length of time, propose a toast. "Here's hoping we make it through this in one piece."
>>37538521>You eventually have to bodily drag Willie Dee to the waiting van, and manage to get her in the middle-middle seat, between Hornet and the Silent Girl.>the Silent Girl.Pretty sure we know right where she is, bro.
>>37538393"So what's the plan? What's your roster like?"
>>37538561>Bring the USS Arizona to Japan...fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck
>>37538561https://danbooru.donmai.us/posts/1876843?pool_id=9415Found her on the database.
>>37538480>>37538483Hey! I'm new to the world of wwII naval ships!>>37538561And holy shit, at least I know this one.
LOW AND SLOW A SHITTARGETING PODS A BEST
>>37538612Funny story, but the Chinese never reimbursed the guy that bought that carrier on their behalf.
>>37536578>CV-8>old as dirtAt least we won't have to explain away all those Nimitz-class carriers with the full names of dudes.
>>37538393Shouldn't we ask what he has and prepare to have her work seperately/warn her that we're working together?
>>37538612>Dat BrazilI didn't even know we HAD aircraft carriers! Thought our military was far too shitty to have one
>>37538480>>37538521>>37538523>>37538532Just wait until she sees one of the Jap carriers that launched the attack at Pearl, you know, the one that killed so many of her sisters as they sat helplessly, screaming.I imagine it'll go something like pic related.
>>37538735Don't worry, Brazil's carrier is pretty shitty and generally stuck in port. You guys bought it from the French.
>>37538735You don't. You have a few helicopter carriers, though!
>>37538755We need one of Wille D Porter.
>>37538755>Sir? No sir, painting me red won't make me go three times faster.
>>37538755>No, painting me red won't make me go three times faster
>>37538775They've got a Clemenceu-class. That's a full blown CV.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brazilian_aircraft_carrier_S%C3%A3o_Paulo_%28A12%29
>>37538775They have the Sao Paulo, ex-Foch class. It operates some Skyhawks when it isn't rotting at the pier.
>>37538775If they count, that comic needs to be updated to include 'straya then. The first of the Canberras is in commission now.
>>37538773>>37538775The main reason Brazl's military is so badly equipped and underpowered is because the government refuses to give them a decent budget.They are actually afraid the Military will stage another coup.
>>37538763Mogami and the army dogs in the game seem to hold no ill will towards each other, despite this happening>Mogami confirmed her status for all Imperial Navy sailors. She fired a spread of six “Long Lance” torpedoes that proved to be one of the most devastating of the entire war: they sank the Japanese Army landing ship Ryujo Maru, the Army transports Sakura Maru, Tatsuno Maru and Horai Maru
>>37538829It's not Foch-class, it was formerly known as the Foch. It's a Celmenceau class.
>>37538842It has no fixed wing craft though. It might get F-35s we don't know yet.>>37538829It might get Gripens maybe.
>>37538723>>37538580“You think it's going to cause pr-”“No shit, Sherlock,” he snaps back, taking another slug from the bottle and rudely wiping his mouth with his sleeve. “Come ON. You know what we've got, you've seen the roster. Akagi's here, and Kaga, and the – the whole goddamned Pearl Harbor attack force, basically. You – why – UGH.” He sighs. “Who's the angry-looking guy with the boats in tow, anyhow?” “That,” you reply, “is Corporal Hate.” He hoists an eyebrow. “Hate?” Recognition slowly crosses his face. “Wait, is he the one who-” “Yeah,” you reply. “I thought he-”“He did,” you reply. “The last torpedo he nailed went off close enough to dent the ship's hull, and he ate a faceful of shrapnel, to say nothing of the blast.”“He looks pretty good for a half-dead man. How did he pull that off?” You smile at the Admiral. “The truth is, we don't have a fucking clue,” you say, recycling his own words. “He sure does, but he's not... forthcoming.” The Admiral squints at you. “He told you, didn't he?” You smile back at him. “He'll tell you, too – once he knows you well enough.”He sighs, and nods. He swivels his chair to look out the wide windows, and you both enjoy the sunrise together in companionable and increasingly-sloshed silence. Even after years in the service and at sea, the beauty of a sunrise over glassy, still waters never ceases to please you.
>>37538937It's designed to operating them. And the ship itself is inactive service, which is more than half the other balls in that panel can say.
>>37538821>they have a full-blown fucking carrier with fixed-wing planesi shot my fukkin mouth off
>>37538561You sadistic fucker.>>37538966Still trying to figure out who the hell Corporal Hate is.
>>37539004Don't worry, not even the Bazilian knew it existed.
>>37539038Not even a Bazillion Brazillians could figure it out.
>>37539037Sounds like he was a torpedo-killing badass... with a love of dogs.
>>37539037>Still trying to figure out who the hell Corporal Hate is.He's actually an ordinary human.
>>37539004Don't worry I didn't know Aircraft Carriers existed outside of Japan, England, and America existed.
>>37539068Bullshit. Hes the Ghost.
>>37539082>existed outside of Japan, England, and America existed.what are you trying to say?
>>37539068So he isn't based on some crazy fucker that did something like toss depth charges in the path of torpedoes at close range or something equally insane?
At length, you see a figure silhouetted against the rising sun – a young girl in a hoodie, with her sleeves rolled up. She seems to be going for a jog down the docks. “Huh,” the Admiral says thoughtfully, rubbing his bearded chin. “Fubuki seems to be making an extra effort.” “Fubuki-class?” “No, Fubuki herself, the lead ship,” he corrects you. He smiles a bit as he watches her through the glass. “She's our resident Willie Dee, you might say.”“Total fuckup?”“A-yep!” he says with a sigh. “But she's getting better. At least she tries her ass off.”
>>37539138More than likely he used a .50 on the side of a ship to shoot torpedoes.
>>37539138Don't worry. Those stories will be told Soon.
>>37538821Sweet Mother of Fuck, that Aircraft Carrier is even shittier than I imagined. It's from 1960, but the Navy wants to have it operational until 2039.It can't stay at sea longer than three months and it spent more than a year being repaired because it caught fire right after they modernized it.Fuck, it's acquisition was obviously a political move to make our navy seem less crappy than it actually is.Fucking Brazil.>>37539004Planefag, that piece of shit barely qualifies as a ship, and our we barely have any planes to launch from it.Most people here in Brazil have no idea we even have that thing. Fuck, most brazilians have no idea we even have a navy beyond some vague, subconscious acknowledgement that we must have SOMETHING to patrol our coastline.And the same can be said of our Air Force, beyond some vague feeling of pride because Embraer sometimes sells some planes to other countries.
>>37539177I remember a story about a guy on one of the Atlantic convoys who shot a torpedo with his rifle.
>>37539133I'm ignorant and kind of sort of know only WW2 carriers and even that is limited.>>37539161Fubuki is not a fuck up!'....Okay maybe she is but at least she doesn't say poi or nanodesu at the end of every sentence.
>>37539221Blonde is worst girl, followed by Naka.
You squint at her through the predawn haze. “So... it's like a shakedown cruise, or something?” “What do your girls eat?” he asks you abruptly. “Food,” you reply. “Hornet wolfs down burgers like nobody's business; I needed to get a government credit card just for her.” “Ours too,” he replies. “Don't try to make sense of it. You can't. It's...” he shrugs, and turns his attention back to Fubuki, who's starting to flag a little, her exercise having taken its toll. Still, she looks happy to be out and about, with the blood flowing through her veins and the clean, cool sea air on her face. You envy her, just a little – looking forward to a future that has a place in it for her, with none of the burdens of command on her shoulders. Maybe they're not all messed up, you let yourself hope. Maybe they don't all remember sinking into the abyss with the voices of their doomed crews ringing inside their compartments. Maybe, just maybe, there's a chance.
>>37539221>Okay maybe she is but at least she doesn't say poi or nanodesu at the end of every sentence.You leave Yuudachi and Inazuma out of this.
>>37539177Probably the smaller NATO cartridge. .50's disintegrate if you shoot them into at least 3 foot depths.
>>37539218Aye. We're set in a modern setting, so I'd have to assume Cpl. Hate was doing this.
>>37539259>wait till they introduce Tenryuu and Tatsuta.
>>37539259>insulting the Nightmare of Solomon with a firepower stat similar to heavy cruisers and the Idol with a low Kai2 remodel level.
>>37539264>Maybe, just maybe, there's a chance.You poor bastard. You still think there is hope?
>>37539221>not liking poi or nanodesuwhat kind of abyss are you?
You watch the girl reach the end of the docks, and look up in wonder at the sight of the sun rising over the ocean's edge, spreading its brilliant orange light over the glassy, still sea. Both Admirals and the destroyer girl watch in silence for a minute; and you feel that you're all absorbing this moment of beauty and silence, trying to save it for later, when such moments will be rare indeed. But as beautiful as the scene is, a tiny corner of your mind gives thanks for the glassy sea because it makes for better sonar reception – and as that thought flits across your mind, you see something rippling in the water near Fubuki. It looks a lot like a small periscope. >Wait>ACT
>>37539316Of course, anon. I hope they sink.
>>37539264>Maybe they don't all remember sinking into the abyss with the voices of their doomed crews ringing inside their compartmentsWILLIE IS THE MOST WELL ADJUSTED OF THE LOT. FUCK.
>>37539161>filenameIt's okay planefag, I won't judge you.Much.
WE SHOULD CAPTURE AN ABYSSAL. FOR SCIENCE.
>>37539345>ACT>ask the admiral if friendly submarines are in the area.
>>37539345>>Waitdis gun b gud
>>37539345>ACTHead off the shenanigans
>>37539345>is that even a real question?ACT>>37539379>implying
>>37539345>WaitThere's still a chance that this isn't an enemy probe. If it is, firing on Fubuki will just alert the entire base, which will get that little fucker PASTED.Let's keep watching.
Is it wrong that I just want to call Arizona and see how she'll act to it all?
>>37539345>waitDis gun b gud.
>>37539345>WaitTempting as it is to scare the shit out of Fubuki and her invariably another shipslut stalker, I'd say we pass on this one.
>>37539375WE SHOULD FUCK AN ABYSSAL. FOR SCIENCE.
>>37539345>Wait. We need to observe how these Jap ship girls conduct shenanigans. It can't be anything other than that- I can't see an Abyssal of any sort doing something stealthy.
>>37539345I was going to say act but, shouldn't we consult the Japs first?
>people voting ACT>yfw instead of pulling a Young, we calmly point out the periscope to the other TTKStill, best not make a fool of ourselves just yet.
>>37539500>I was going to say act but, shouldn't we consult the Japs first?Yes. If we're going to cause a diplomatic incident I'd rather it be over fucking one of the abyss girls or something.
>>37539345>ACT like an adult and tell the Admiral there's a periscope on the sea.
>>37538393>>Just look out the window at the rising sun over the docks. Atmosphere, read it, etc.tora tora tora
>>37539640You're later than the Enterprise returning to Pearl Harbor.
>>37539665Which was probably a good thing in the long run, because losing the Big E would have been disastrous for our war effort in the Pacific.
You sit bolt upright in your chair, on high alert... but as far as you know, abyssal submarines don't use anything that looks remotely like a periscope. Theirs look like... like eye-stalks, basically. Still, you don't like it one bit. “Admiral-”“Yeah,” he says, taking his phone off his desk and beginning to dial. “I'll call the dorm watch – probably just one of our I-classes dicking around after night exercises. They don't get to sortie much.” You pluck your cellphone from your pocket and hit the speed-dial; you've already got some ASW ships awake and kicking. “Willie, emergency. Get down to the docks as fast as you can, kiddo.” You click the phone shut and decide against calling Sammy – once that girl's let off her chain, things get ugly fast. Besides, Fubuki's a destroyer – she's equipped and trained for anti-sub ops. Willie could use the practice, however. Meanwhile, Fubuki has turned and begun jogging back down the docks, pursued by a slight ripple in the water that paces her progress. She jogs on, oblivious to her submerged pursuer. You and the Admiral have another drink as you watch, rather bemused, as the destroyer-girl continues her morning constitutional without a clue that her favored prey is, instead, shadowing her. The attack happens so fast you barely see it.
>>37539760They failed to kill her 4 times.I think they would have failed a 5th.
>>37539794Willie does something stupid in 3... 2... 1...
>>37539794>The attack happens so fast you barely see it.Clever girl...
>>37539840I cant tell if its a real abyss attack or some lewd I-class sub dragging her into the water to play.
>>37539905Definitely the latter. TTK says so.
>>37539939NEXT TIME ON KANCOLLE QUEST:SHIT HITS THE FAN AND SOMEONE.WILL.DIE.
>>37539962Dude, this is the third time in a week.No one is going to fall for it this time. No one.
>>37539962I hope it's you because your shit is terrible.
>>37539962Yeah right. It will probably be Iku suffocating Fubuki with her breasts.
You have the briefest impression of a nylon-blue figure exploding from the water like a tomahawk missile, hitting Fubuki with a flying tackle and taking her down. Within a second, the swimsuit-clad figure is sitting astraddle Fubuki's middle, his hands raised high over its head gripping the sleek metal shape of a Mark 14 torpedo. With a snarl of primal fury, he brings the nose of it down on Fubuki's chest. “Uwaaaah”! Fubuki states as she flails around madly.The swimsuit-clad one raises the torpedo over his head and brings it down on her chest again, only to be greeted with a small, sad puff of smoke. He snarls and tosses it away, manifesting two more, one in each hand. By the time you get outside, he's baffing at Fubuki's head with the wrong ends of them, a mad gleam in his eye. “DIE, MOTHERFUCKER!” he screams, his ragged, hateful cries ringing over the water. “DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE-” >SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe. >what the actual fuck is happen>>37539984YOUR RESISTANCE ONLY MAKES MY DICK HARDER
>>37540006>>SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!
>>37539962When? You got a planned ETA for the next thread?
>>37540006>SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!>what the actual fuck is happenalso>he
>>37539962This early you're fuckin' joking me
>>37540006>>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe.
>>37540006>what the actual fuck is happenNo, seriously. What the FUCK is this?
>>37540006>SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!>what the actual fuck is happen
>>37540006>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe. >he>shipboysQuest dropped like a bomb on Ari's "ammo storage".I kid, I kid.
>>37540006>>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe. >>what the actual fuck is happen
>>37540006>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe.Trust in Willie. Faith in Willie.Prepare to watch the trainwreck
>>37539962Hurr.>>37540006>SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!
>>37540006>[x] What the actual fuck is happening
>>37540006>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe.
>>37540006>>what the actual fuck is happen
>>37540006>hegreet the America bro with encouragmentCLEARLY HE'S AN ATTACK SUBMARINE DOING HIS JOB
>>37540059I should note that "he" is just a placeholder pronoun; you haven't actually gotten a good look at this newcomer yet.
>>37540006>>Wait for Willie Dee(for comical value)also>>What the actual fuck just happen
>>37540006>what the actual fuck is happenAlso>heRussian?
>>37540006>SIC'EM, FUBUKI! YOU CAN DO IT!
>>37540006>Wait for Willie Dee to sort this shit out; with Mark 14s, she's safe.I want the train wreck to happen. Let it happen.
>>37540059The only ships that should be dudes are Bismarck, Tirpitz, and every Russian vessel. Ivan used the 'he' descriptor for their ships.
>>37540098Clearly it's Michael Phelps after too many pot brownies.
>>37540006>he>manifesting two moreA ship...guy? Oh fuck, he's a Russian, isn't he. Probably one of the subs sunk by Japan. Л-16?
>>37540006>what the actual fuck is happen
>>37540127It's probably I-401.
>>37540006>Turn to the admiral, wave a hand in their vague direction. Raise an eyebrow. then >Pic related.
A good solution to all these ship creatures is to send them off to die.
>>37540247I'd say that was gr8 b8 m8, but you didn't get me ir8, so 0/8.
>>37540006>Mk 14s>Order the American Sub to stand the fuck down and report its damn fool ass self.
>>37540006>HATE, SIC THE CORGIS
>>37540445NO NOT THE CORGI'S YOU FOOL! THOSE ARE FOR THE SEAPORT GIRL!
You stare at this scene for several seconds, trying to process just what the fuck is going on. The Admiral has come to a halt next to you, and is staring as well.“... is that-”“No,” he says. “No, that is not anyone I know.” Just as it dawns on you that you might want to put a stop to this, Willie Dee arrives. She skids to a halt, her weapons already summoned, a whisp of smoke drifting from her stack. She levels one forearm at the ranting submarine.“H-H-HALT!” she cries, the turret on her extended arm quavering slightly. “O-OR I'LL SHOOT!” The submarine halts. His – or her – short, blonde hair is all wet and wild, and the wet strands hang down to trail over his piercing blue eyes, enhancing the madman-look. He rises from Fubuki slowly, and swings both torpedoes wide, one in each hand, like swords. “So,” he says quietly. “It's true, then.” “W-wh-what?!” Willie Dee says – good Christ, even her braid seems to be quivering now. “It's true that you're a DIRTY ROTTEN COMMIE-LOVING TRAITOR!” the submarine roars, his voice so loud you think you hear the plate-glass window of the office rattle a bit. He stalks towards Willie Dee, a horrible wrath in his eyes. You *think* it's a he, but given his youth and the one-piece swimsuit, you can't really tell. You're too busy staring into those wide, mad blue eyes that seem to brim with barely-restrained violence. He stalks right up to Willie and sticks his nose right up against hers. She tries to back away, but he just pursues till her back is pressed up against a dockside warehouse's wall. “Yeah,” he hisses. “Fuck with me. Go ahead. I eat destroyers for LUNCH. You think my tubes are empty? I got one more, right here, just for you.” With a start, you realize who it is. >A-THOR-I-TAY>Let him have his way, this is funny as hell. >STOP. CORGITIME!
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!Release the corgis
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!RELEASE THE unbearably adorable HOUNDS!
>>37540526>Let him have his way, this is funny as hell.But then we must bring him to heel. He'll get his chance, and soon.>A-THOR-I-TAY
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!Unleash the hounds!
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!I have no fucking idea as to whats going on.
>>37540526>A-THOR-I-TAYYOU WILL RESPECT IT
>>37540586>I have no fucking idea as to whats going on.Then you are indeed in the Admiral's shoes, anon.
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!This gun b gud.
>>37540548>>37540564>>37540568>>37540575What's a Corgi?
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!Witness their cuteness and despair!
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!Because corgis
>>37540526>STOP. CORGITIME!Time to let the dogs out.Also, who the fuck is it?
>>37540612>Does not know what a Corgi isYou can not be this new.
>>37540612THE HARBINGER OF YOUR DIABETIC DOOM!
>>37540612Google, motherfucker. Do you know it?
>>37540526> A-THOR-I-TAYWe are officially to sober to deal with this shit. This sub better cut that shit out before we have to guzzle an entire bottle of whiskey.
>>37540526>A-THOR-I-TAYFIX UR SHIT SAILOR
>>37540665I wasn't sure what I was suppose to look for.>>37540661>>37540676I... see?
>>37540526>>A-THOR-I-TAYI AM THE LAWL
>>37540723It's a kind of dog you dumbass.
>>37540526>>STOP. CORGITIME!HA HA its time for adorableness!
>>37540723>I wasn't sure what I was suppose to look for.Google isn't rocket science."What is a Corgi" is all you needed to type.
CALLING FOR CORGISalso be nice to the guy, he just didn't know
>>37540787>also be nice to the guy, he just didn't knowNo mercy for beating on Fubuki.Oh wait, that isn't what you meant.
>>37540787I just now I realized I know a guy who is Coproral Hate in real life.dudes got a horde of like 30 Corgis that he breeds.For shits and giggles.
>>37540787Too tired, can't post
>>37540856hey, it happened once
>>37540822So 4chan is eating my posts from my desktop so phone post tiem. I was going to leave this until the next SWQ but you're here now so what the hell.planefag.tumblr.com
>>37540723Its a kind of dog, well known for its kind disposition and generally cute antics. Watch and learn:>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=acB0aHBCJR8Here are some puppies:>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NONlkKMGFeA
>>37540856This is actually the first time I've ever participated in one of his threads so.. I've got nothing to contrast it with. Far as I can tell he's always nice.
>>37540885>hey, it happened onceAre you sure that didn't happen in a dream?
>>37540918I would say "you don't know him very well" but I'm not sure where he's going with this quest... first it seems purely bashing and it settled down into this.Planefag is truly a master of American Doctrine.
>>37540918You are young, life's been kind to you.You will learn.
>>37540940He did defend a namefag on a SWQ thread.I still remember the cries of "SHUT THE FUCK UP, ASSWAGON!".
>>37540954There's a man in the world like a great black pit and the vermin of the world inhabit him. His morals aren't worth what a pig could spit and he goes by the name of Planfag.
>>37540970I'm joking, anon.>>37541005Oh my.
>>37540954>>37540992There was an anon and his waifu and she was beautiful...
>>37541005>>37540892>>37540892And of course I link to the wrong post, fucking phones mang.
>>37541030A foolish Anon and his Waifu she was his reason and his life and she was beautiful, and she was virtuous. And he was Naive.
>>37541030A foolish anon and his waifu, she was his reason and his... laifu.And she was beautifuuuuulAnd she was virtuouuuusAnd he was... naiiiive...
>>37541068>>37541059>>37541030>>37540992>>37540954I... I'm worried. Do I not know something about planefag? What's going to happen to my waifu?
>>37540526>>A-THOR-I-TAY"Go ahead. I eat destroyers for LUNCH"http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Harder_%28SS-257%29Is that "Hit em again" Harder?
You suck in a deep lungful of breath and crank your ANGRY FUCKING OFFICER meter to 11, knowing full-well that this particular boat will require every goddamned ounce of authority you possess to bring it to heel. And that is when you espy Corporal Hate coming down the sidewalk, heading towards the commotion... with all his Corgis in tow. You make eye contact from 35 yards. His face blazes with a keen lust, an almost animalistic need – and you realize, in that moment, that his long suffering has finally found a momentary respite. You give him the nod, and he lets slip the Corgis of War. 30 little dogs. 120 wee little paws, hammering down the sidewalk as one. The submarine hears them coming just in time to look up, and a truly hilarious look of confusion spreads across his face. The Corgis are rushing at almost impossible speed now, their short little legs almost a blur as they really hit their stride – and then, as their excited barks and yips subside into the heavy breathing of marathon runners, they summon their Outfits.
>>37541068>>37541089There was a QM who saw that she was beautiful. A biased vulture of the sky who, with a gesture of his claw, removed the anon from his plate... then was nothing but to wait!AND SHE WOULD FALL! SO SOFT!SO YOUNG!SO LOST and oh, so beeaauuutiful...Oh that was was many years ago.. I doubt if.. anyone would know.
We arrive.>>37541005There is nothing wrong with kindness, Demetrious Poliorcetes.Neither is there harm in the jest of the Bound.
>>37541168>summon their Outfits.These corgis have Stands?
>>37541168The little hats are the first to appear; a little row of windows on an open flying bridge. Next come the wee fifty-cal emplacements, little roundish things, one on the front-right shoulder, another on the back-left haunch. But it's when the tiny little torpedoes appear, two hanging on each side, that the submarine's eyes widen in horrified realization. He springs away from the terrified Willie Dee and bolts for the open water, clearing the dock in one leap and hitting the water moving, already kicking up an impressive wake as his bare heels slide across the water at flank speed. He's trying to escape the harbor, to get into deeper water where he can dive to safety. He's not going to make it.
>>37541177Who was this other QM?
>>37541168>and then, as their excited barks and yips subside into the heavy breathing of marathon runners, they summon their Outfits.CORGI KANTAI!THE ABYSSALS ARE FUCKED!
>>37541206THOSE DRONE FRIGATES WERE FUCKING WORTHLESS, WHERE'S MY REFUNDHEY LOOK I FOUND YOUR THEME MUSIC https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAZhtT-dUyoTHE ONLY MOVEMENTS YOU HEAR IN THE VOID COME FROM YOUR OWN BOWELS I SWEAR TO ALL THE GODSi kid i kid
>>37541217>Corgi PT boats
>>37541217PT BOATSI SUDDDENLY UNDERSTAND HOLY FUCK PLANEFAG
>>37541030>There was an anon and his waifu"Long ago, in a distant Board, I, Planefag, the glorious Master of Quests, unleashed an unspeakable evil! But a foolish Anon courting a beautiful Waifu stepped forth to oppose me. Before the final vote was called, I tore open a portal in time and flung him into the future, where my Waifus are law! Now, the fool seeks to return to the past, and undo the future that is Angel Fap..."
>>37541217The thirty little PT boats are upon him before he even makes the breakwater, and in an instant he's flailing like a madman, corgis affixed by their nippy little teeth to every limb he's got. He twirls in mad circles, desperately trying to dislodge them, the angry little yips and aggressive growls drifting sedately across the glassy, still waters on this peaceful summer morning. Corporal Hate has come up next to you to watch, wicked little sniggers escaping him from time to time. “Devil boats,” the Admiral observes, his face paler. He lifts the bottle of Scotch to his lips and takes another hit. “Devil Dogs, eh?” you say, nudging Corporal Hate. “I've been expecting that joke for three weeks and fuck you,” he says absently, his eyes still fixed on his lethal little horde, a wicked smile on his lips. The Corgis are dragging their swearing, flailing victim back to the dock, where you're waiting to meet him.“YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, NIP!” the submarine screams up at you, and flings his last Mark 14 into the water. It splashes in, fires up, and zooms away into the sunrise, running straight, hot and normal. “GOD DAMMIT, THE ONE TIME I WANT A CIRCULAR RUN!” the submarine snarls. “DAMN YOU, NAVY ORDS. DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!” You lean over, trying to keep the shit-eating grin off your face, and look down at the subdued sub. “Well if it ain't Hit'em Again Harder, in the flesh.” You reach down and grab his hand, waving the Corgis away. They slink back reluctantly, still growling as you haul the beleaguered Gato-Class out of the water and slap him on the back. “Welcome back, sailor.”
>>37541150>“Well if it ain't Hit'em Again Harder, in the flesh.Fucking called it.
>>37541168>>37541217>>37541281I love this thread so much.
>>37541217What a most peculiar phenomenon.>>37541256We Unbound are not responsible for the faulty designs of the Bound, even if they are resulting from technologies they bought from us.That your Kiith Somtaaw managed to refine and perfect a design for their own use proves this. Perhaps you should take it up with your Kiith Naabal engineers and designers? Remember, Saajuk's hand shapes all... Except those strange Canines you call Corgis.Perhaps we could arrange an exchange? Those strange transforming canines for improved Ion Beam technology?
>>37541388Keep your filthy hands off our Corgis.
>>37541281>Devil Dogs>PT Boat Corgisu sly motherfucker fuk u
>>37541388>improved Ion beams
>>37541455Wait.. does this mean we could have corgis that vomit ion beams?
>>37541455NO PLANEFAG!THEY CAN'T BE TRUSTED WITH THE CORGI KANTAI!
>>37541484Kanmusu, get it right before I sperg out some more. Kantai just means fleet.
So the Corgi's are like the Fairy equivalent to the American Kantai?
>>37541281>Sunk with all hands via 15 depth charges.This fuckers gonna be hard core isn't he?
>>37541388What is the insurance on this by the way?
>>37541521so what's the difference then?
>>37541521That's kinda the point, an entire fleet of Devil Dogs is not something that can be trusted with.
>>37541544Kanmusu means Ship Girls, Kantai just means fleet.It's an autist thing, you wouldn't understand.
HOKAY, I think this is a good time to call it a night! Tomorrow I'll outline some shit in my lit class instead of paying attention and then we'll run SWQ sometime this weekend - maybe Friday, but possibly Saturday if I end up crashing Friday after work for several hours. SEE Y'ALL SOON. I am also soliciting as many AWFUL, BAD, NO GOOD IDEAS as I can for future runs of KANT-O-CELLE SHIPSLUT SLAUGHTER because that's just how I roll, baby
>>37541578You can't fool me, Anon.
>>37541217You're the best, Planefag.
>>37541410... Would that we could, Bound one. But, being one with our ships, we have no hands to speak of.Instead, we make due with sophisticated drones.>>37541455Excellent. The Bentusi Exchange proposes a sample of 5 of these transforming canines in exchange for Improved Ion Beam technology only 2 generations behind that of the Unbound. If you are concerned for their safety, rest assured that the Unbound only wish to study this most peculiar phenomenon.If our offer is insufficient, we are prepared to offer a schematic for an Improved Drone Frigate, which should fix most of your issues with the technology.... Pay no mind to the extreme resemblance of this Improved Drone Frigate to the Somtaaw Hive-class Adv Drone Frigate.>>37541542Unfortunately, the Unbound do not offer insurance on Progenitor ships.We can offer repair guarantees, however. Do the Unbound hold some form of Honorbound debt to your people?
>>37541578>this again.at least try to put a trip on, anon.
>>37541578>Unnamed pic and no trip.Yeah....
What is the sub we just caught?Also what is Sammy's ship?Also I thought they fixed the Mark 14 by the mid way point of the war?
>>37541281That's not a Russian ship.It should be a girl...Tomboy?
>>37541602>>37541613Sorry, forgot to put my trip back on after posting on /k/.
>>37541619It's a Gato-class sub, and me thinks it's either USS Albacore or USS Cavalla.
>>37541622Finally, a shipdude that Hornet-chan can force into submission
>>37541619The USS Harder, it wasn't that hard to google after the nickname was used.http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/USS_Harder_%28SS-257%29
>>37541631Was a Luftaboo talking shit about 50.cal again?
>>37541619>Also what is Sammy's ship?I can't fucking wait for you to meet Sammy. Oh, man.
>>37541705Wait so the Gato-class sub is a guy?
>>37541667Nah, he's probably upset with me calling low and slow a shit.
>>37541619We find the Bound's obsession with attributing gender to ship strange.Of course, the Unbound ceased reproducing sexually roughly around the time agriculture appeared on your Earth. We most likely are missing some context.>>37541578More sailing across the cosmos, feeling the solar winds caressing one's armoured skin and the universe unfolding around one's thoughts.Alternatively, humour that can be understood and appreciated by giant sentient ships.
>>37541667just caliber wars this time>>37541729a-10 all years
>>37541720I'm guessing reverse trap at this point.
>>37541720Yep! Welcome to Ship Boys Quest.
>>37541622It's probably a tomboy. >>37541659Hornet, you will be forced under submission by the admiral.
>>37541705deme i am shocked, SHOCKED that there is a ship dude this is nothing like my proper kancolle and i hope you retcon thisshow me proof of YOUR Kancolle account, bro i bet you don't even lottery
>>37541705It's the Samuel B Roberts, isn't it.
>>37541763So this, basically?
>>37541772I'm not sure if your serious.They turn Bismarck into a girl?
>>37541772I don't play touhou games either
>>37541796Oh boy.I can't wait for her and the Kurita Fleet to meet.
>>37541809you are literally satan
>>37541705... Poliorcetes, you now worry the Unbound.If the thread now ends, then soon the Unbound shall depart. We ask our customers to finalize their dealings and secure their merchandises before We depart.
>>37541809THE WRATH OF /a/ UPON YOUUUUUU
>>37541753And I'm telling you, A-10 is the least survivable aircraft for modern CAS currently in use by the USAF.
>>37541758I'm guessing that as well?>>37541763I find it strange that I'm okay with Ship girls but I raise an eyebrow at Ship Boys.Something must be wrong with me.
>>37541834That's what she's like in bed, I bet.
>>37541772>dudeI'm going to choose to believe it's a tomboy for now.
>>37541850honetto go home gaijin piggu!
archived as Kant-O-Celle Questhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Kant-O-Celle%20Quest
>>37541850You mean /jp/. /a/ could give less of a fuck.
>>37541772>>37541850>implying you know anythingThere are already several cute boys in the fleet, like Mogami, Z1, and Z3.
>>37541875>And I'm telling you, A-10 is the least survivable aircraft for modern CAS currently in use by the USAF.>less survivable than an ACU-130 SpectreThat would make you officially retarded.
>>37541908I thought they were reverse traps?
>>37541921I was actually thinking about mentioning that, but decided against it. It's completely different. It's so unsurvivable they only fly thing at night in completely permissive airspace.
>>37541951that's the joke
>>37541903Tell that to the ass pained people who were upset about Merc leaving out canon kancolles.
>>37541975>kancollesYes, why would people be angry about the only reason anybody cares about this series being left out?
All trading operations aboard the Harbour Ship have cease.The transforming canines, called "Corgis" or "Devil Dog Patrol Boats" have been received and are secured within our cargo bays for scientific analysis.Data transfers to Demetrious Poliorcetes, also known as planefag, of Improved Ion Beam technology and Advan... Improved Drone technology complete.Several example of humanized sea faring vessels stand secured in the cargo bays, pending scientific analysis.Bentus the Great Harbour Ship now departs.Farewell.
>>37541903no, /jp/ doesn't care, some on /a/ are the ones buttflustered about AoCharts one, and that Merc would be doing US ships with little or no canon Kanmusu showing up.
>>37542035TBH, I'm kind of sad we are not the Admiral but one of the ship girls.
>>37542035I was laughing my ass off when I found out /a/ was talking about it.
>>37542085If it's any consolation, we're likely to get an Admiral Sturmfuhrer.
>>37542085If there was a choice I'd rather play as a mechanic. That way the only insight into the war would be the after-action reports and how many ships come back.
>>37542097It was mostly a few shitposters trying to stir up anti-/tg/ sentiments i think.
>>37542111the lineage continues?
>>37542035Merc is doing a kancolle quest?
>>37542097Wait, what's this with you and Kancolle?
>>37542153>>37542167He's thinking about doing one and what rustled jimmies was his usual quest policy of not really touching canon characters.Then again Jenner, Janice, Karla, etc in one fleet....
>>37542111>>37542138I want to play as Alice and seduce Admiral/Mechanic Leo.
>>37542233All of them lesbians.We managed to get away with Karla because of Jaeger. I doubt we'll be able to pull that off again.
>>37542288Then get a pool of pudding
>>37542233Which is dumb because nobody cares about Kancolle because of the setting or anything that happens in it. The one and only reason is because of the characters.
>>37542315Fuck, man, you come to me pitching an idea of battleship-era naval battles and I'm immediately interested. Then you go "but all the ships are actually girls and not ships" and my boner dies.
>>37542314I don't get the reference.
>>37542288Jager will be the Admiral, just you watch.
>>37542370THere is no clever reference, just hot girls+pudding pool= good times.
>>37542340I cried when battlestations midway came out.
>>37542340But Kancolle is a modern day series. >Ah, were you looking at me from behind? It's not like I'm playing with a smart phone or anything!>VLS? ...I don't know that equipment. >I won't be able to carry the 60's(SH60K/J Helicopter) even with the repairs, you know?>1 o'clock huh... Ah, for me, I'm not really looking forward to watching the late-night anime.
>>37542393But what if we're not Karla? Even worse if there is a ship girl Karla?
>>37542315Do you realize what thread you're posting in right now?
>>37542428Of course, I just find shitposting to be fun.
>>37542409Modern yes, but still has battleships being relevant.
>>37542724>BBs>Relevant for anything but getting the 2nd shelling phaseNow, CAVs on the other hand are very relevant in the game.
>>37542746I admit that my knowledge of the game is that of watching a dude play it on a stream for like fifteen minutes.ALL I WANT IS A WARSHIP GUNNER 3, IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK, KOEI
>>37542746CAV are vastly overrated and struggle to damage anything with 90+ armor in the day phase without green T-cross.
>>37542877SCAMP is much better off on a CVL/CV.A CVL with SCAMP+Egusa or Tomonaga + any other attack plane regularly 1shots Ru-Flagship, even on head-on engagement.
>>37542877Its 10 firepower and longer range, not some miracle equipment that can make up for the fact that a BB with 95+ armor will shrug off 104 firepower attacks if it gets anything above 1:1 on its armor modifier roll.
>>37543059But the range allows the ship to fire during the first shelling phase before other ships.
>>37543059Yasen dat shit, yo.
>>37543087which a CV or CVL benefits from FAR more than a CAV.a CV/L attacking first means they cannot be knocked out before their first attack, as they are at far more of a risk of getting disabled before they can attack via moderate damage because of their short default range.Also as >>37542971 pointed out, even the weaker CVLs will 1shot Ru/Ta-Flagships with that combo.And a SCAMP is worth 15 firepower to a CV/L in day battle instead of 10.>>37543165Only for the boss node, and CA are just as good at yansen, the 10 FP from SCAMP is pretty insignificant.
>>37541796>A tiny ship that got so close that the enemy ship could not depress there guns enough to hit it>Proceeds to start tearing into it with fucking AA gunsThis is why I like fap angel shit, I always end up reading and hearing about awesome historical WW2 shit. It's grade 10 history all over again.