Hear Ye, Hear Ye! I call to order today's meeting of our illustrious and much beloved Mage's Guild. As you all know, the new semester has officially begun. On that note, due to what can only be described as considerable amounts of irresponsibility on the part of our budget committee, and a general lack of altruism on the part of our faculty, from today on, we will be accepting applications not only for new apprentices, but also experienced mages willing to teach said apprentices for little to no pay. I would further like to take this time to remind our current faculty that, although your pay will be unaffected, please try to limit the more expensive end of your daily shenanigans. Additionally, I would further like to remind you that the Buerocromancers have gotten wise to the old "this apprenticed just so happened to explode in a magic fireball, and we would like to collect his life insurance" trick, and as such you are asked to not randomly commit murder in our halls in an attempt to raise funds for your department.
>>37599794=====================================================================================================================Hello everyone, and welcome to this quest. Now, as you will come to realize, this is a quest unlike any other. To play, you can begin by creating a mage, apprentice, or any other sort of visitor who might show up to a meeting of a guild of wizards. Usually the OP will describe a plot of some sort in the first post of the thread. As the meeting goes on, the players will discuss the matter, along with various other things, between themselves. This quest takes place in the setting of the Mages's Guild, a series of threads that have been on /tg/ for a very long time, if you wish to learn more about the setting, please read them on sup/tg/. This quest is fully player driven, although the majority of it is dialouge between the players. The world of the mages guild is an exciting place full of heroes and adventure, and we look forward to sharing it.To create a character, just come up with a name, power, backstory, etc, then have them join in on the conversation. You are welcome to describe what your character looks like if you so choose. You should feel free to make your character as weak or powerful as you want to, but are asked not to be to unreasonable about it. Remember, over-over-powered characters just aren't fun for anyone. Some notes on the setting and current characters: http://1d4chan.org/wiki/Mage%27s_guildOne of the many tags on sup/tg/ where you can find old threads: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=-omancyAs much as some people may not like it, this thread is here for us all to enjoy. Remember to follow /Tg/'s board rules. 1. BE EXCELLENT TO EACH OTHER.2. PARTY ON, DUDES. (AND DUDETTES)Also, don't steal anyone's name, as that is rude.
>>37599821Additionally, try to keep OOC in spoilers.
I'll have you know I've never killed any of my students just to cash in their life insurance.That I cash it in after they kill themselves via stupidity is completely tangential.
"Kek."
Good Evening everybody.
>>37599942"Heya James! Are you excited for the event tonight?"
>>37599794Antruthius I need to talk to you. I would like to apply as teacher too. Teacher for draconic lore and dragon magic to be specific. Under which department does that fall or is it a department in itself?
>>37599987dropped my nametag sorry
>>37599794>>37599911It is really somewhat disappointing that he had to explicitly state that.
>>37600023 damn it I swear I typed it in
Here is your coffee everyone
>>37600076>Give Noone Coffee? [y/n]
>>37600086>yes
>>37600076Morning Evening or Afternoon Mortimer. Can I get one with extra extra extra extra Cream or Milk?
>>37600059 test test 1 2 3
What is this? I was promised a deathrace! I, Fabulous Esteban, demand explanation!
>>37600116Here you go>>37600129Coffee?
>>37600111>Oh god why>Noone grabs his coffee and chugs it
>>37600129Vex is handling that, Calm down. They aren't around just yet. Probably finishing up the last touches. Have a seat and a drink and wait. >>37600141Niiiice.
>>37600076Dear mortimer, do you have something with a bit more kick dear.
>>37599794Glad I never relied on that trick then.>>37600076Thank You Mortimer.>>37600129Later Esteban
>>37600129Vex, the organizer, has disappeared into the Aether.As usual, Damn fool girl can't be bothered to actually be useful.>>37600076Thank you, kind sir.
>>37600145Wait, no!!!!! That was the one with dolls eyes in it!>>37600160Here is extra black, with a shot of alcohol>>37600163>>37600173Your welcome
>>37599794Well I guess that source of income was good while it lasted. Oh well, time to sit back and see what new apprentices sign up for this years meat grinder.>>37600076Excellent, thank you Mortimer.
>>37600163Soros good to see you, is ther any reason for this meeting really?
>>37599987Draconic magic would fall under the Racial Magic over-school. While Draconic lore would fall under the history department. Fortunately for you, the position as teacher of Draconic magic has been open since the previous teacher has gone into hibernation, and I would be happy to hire you for the position.
Okay here we go. Good evening everyone. It was me who asked the Archwizard for the position as teacher for draconic lore and dragon magic.>>37600173Well she is good to look at.
>>37600188Of course sir
>>37600173I, Fabulous Esteban, shall not stand for this! How dare I be kept waiting in my most magnificent of red cloaks, this is an outrage!
Finally, I'm able to catch one of these meetings early on. And just great, it seems like I will have to put up with a bunch of brats who consider themselves to be great mages. just great.
>>37600189Funding, the race, getting new faculty.
>>37600192Oh thanks Antruthius! Do I need to fill a form or anything?
>>37600076Thank you, Mortimer.>>37600129I believe they are still preparing the course for the event.
>>37600261Your welcome sir
>>37600185"Wha-">Vibrates out out the building
>>37600252Could be worse, you still get your own funding, my department is being forced to be self-sufficient. >>37600286Check on Cromina.
>>37600185*Takes a sip* Ahhh just as I like it dear mortimer. You do me well thank you.>>37600188Off to have the highest fatality rate this year? Trying to beat the fleshwarper department this year?.>>37600210Do you deal with pact magic at all? I would love to collaborate to come up with some new ways to manipulate pact magic.
>>37600173I have faith that once she does show up, the show will be worth the wait.
>>37600296Oh dear>>37600297What happened?>>37600303I aim to please
>>37600234Take a chill pill Estevan Get some coffee. You have plenty of time to die, Stop rushing into it.
>>37600252You dare doubt the magical potential of me, Fabulous Esteban? I, Fabulous Esteban, shall prove all of you crackpot stage magicians wrong in this so-called "Maze of death!">>37600305It had best be worth the wait, for I, Fabulous Esteban, most promising of the magical pupils in my home, am not known for my patience!
>>37600256Just sign here. *a book floats towards you and opens to a page, a line at the bottom glows softly next to the word signature* No need to read the fine print.
>>37599794>Checks the 1d4chan page>No mention within the active, inactive, or forgetful roster of Herr HearschI may not be the most active member but I was sort of there for a few things!*pours himself a cup of tea*I see we're in a budget crisis again.... *sighs* Going to have to cut down on spending in my department again. This time I'll have to cutback on materials...Anyway, how is everyone? The Antruthius, how was that bad case of being dead work out for you?
>>37600326Magical rift opened up on her back, I cant bind it but not seal it.
>Enters the guild hall with pants"H-hello? has anyone seen Vex?"
>>37600305Yes, one hopes.>>37600303Our department gets a lot of idiots who manage to get themselves killed no matter how hard we try to stop it from happening.So, instead, we collect their life insurance and use them as materials for the next class.
>>37600297Oh big deal. All you have to do is make some investments that you know will work out because you can see the future.>>37600350...Very well then, as long as I can provide the monsters for the maze.
>>37600359On it>>37600365Sorry, but no. Coffee?
>>37600341*looks at her closely* are you applying for the magical girl school by any chance?>>37600297I might be able to subvert some funding. I run off of a lot of donations for preventing demon and devil attacks, would you enjoy the financial help, no cost or favors owed needed.
>>37600303I'm actually trying to cut down on casualties, but with how these things go it's a futile effort. So yes, I'm probably going to end up with the highest fatality rate, but not for trying, this time.>>37600350I've seen the plans for the course, it will be worth the wait.>>37600356You aren't the only one who was forgotten, I had to take things into my own hands.
What the hell happened last meeting?! I heard the Archwizard died?!
>>37600365I believe she is out preparing the maze.
>>37600365She fashion make overed you it seems.>>37600380Still wounds my conceit.>>37600368You do need to update your wards.>>37600405Nah, mostly a point of pride. I'll live.>>37600420>>37600424Lazarus did it to start a was Antruthius grounded him.
>>37599794>you are asked to not randomly commit murder in our halls in an attempt to raise funds for your department.Some will find that harder than others, I'm sure. Trigger happy nutters.
>>37600303Uh I deal mostly with the magic my draconic heritage grants me, but draconic lore has a lot to do with banking and banking is simliar to devil stuff right?>>37600353Don't worry I never read the fine print.>Signs with "Zirconis, son of Draconis, first of his name of the House of Red."
>>37600368Mmm sounds efficient and beautiful. I just have demons collect astral diamonds for funding.
>>37600424He got better.
>>37599794Fuck you for making a thread I want to take part in at 0209 GMT. I already feel like a zombie. Sleep now. But feel my smoldering rage and malcontent even as I slumber.
>>37600396Oh yes please!>>37600438O-oh>>37600449>blushesYes...
>>37600365I'm sure they will be around soon enough, Why dont you have a seat and get a drink and chill? No reason to rush to your death. I mean...Whatever.>>37600405Negatory. I'm just here to deal with assassins in exchange for the mages guild helping us defend against magical attacks back in my homeland.>>37600451On that note, You guys could start selling bits and pieces of the assassin corpses we have laying around. Or re-animate them and sell them as butlers!When life gives you assassins, Make assassinaid
>>37600438Hello, James. What's this maze?Jesus fuck, why dI'd this have to happen tonight. I have a modern knight quest to run. Fuck, well looks like it's happening tomorrow.>>37600474Apparently.
>>37600524Here you go. So how long have you known Vex?
>>37600458*Laughs* no it doesn't>>37600449Fair enough. I thought I would offer.>>37600420I can see that. I have honestly not had problems we run a very cautious system. They only lose their soul early now.
>>37600380I, Fabulous Esteban, eagerly await the challenge! For no mere monster can hope to compare to the magical potential of , Fabulous Esteban!>>37600341Silence housecat! For I, Fabulous Esteban, am positively quivering at the chance to test myself!>>37600451I, Fabulous Esteban, would love to see any of these maniacs try it, for my magical potential is unmatched in my lands, and will no doubt dazzle any prospective assassins!
>>37600546Hey, how goes it Mortimer?
>>37600365Who are you again? I was on a vacation for awhile and didn't attend some of the more recent meetings.Well, not so much a vacation and more like- never mind, long story.
>>37600542Vex decided to set up a maze to run apprentices through because they weren't dying fast enough for her.I got her a pack of undead wolves for it, but she hasn't seemed to show up yet.
>>37600555Shots fired!>>37600576It goes good
>>37600424Indeed I did. >>37600458Excellent. *the book vanishes and reappears on Antruthius' lectern*>>37600519I am truly sorry, anon. You are welcome to participate in the thread as long as you are awake, and after it has ended on 4chan, we usually continue to ghost post for a few days on the archive.moe
>>37600424I wanted to start a war with the druids and killed the Archwizard to do it. We brought him back after I was found out. I'm currently working almost for free as punishment.>adjusts his cone of shame and sips his coffee
>>37600551I always thought devils are a bit like dragons, less awesome of course, but instead of hoarding gold the hoard souls.
>>37600600Slumbermancer or whatever thanks you. I didn't know you lot ghost posted.
>>37600555I'll gladly put you to sleep so you can wait in silence instead of assaulting our ears with your drivel.>>37600583Shes a new rookie, Probably wont make it through the death maze so I wouldn't get too attached.
>>37600595Oh Gods above and below that's good shit! She's insane, truly.>>37600597Where do you keep the coffee? I can get it myself I just can't seem to ever find it
>>37600600Coffee sir?
>>37600555Oh goody, let me guess, nobility?
>>37600527But I came here to learn!>>37600546Since last night....>>37600583O-oh hi i'm [mumbles]
>>37600637Here you go sir>>37600663Oh dear
>>37600555Well, I'm sure Jophrey here would just LOVE to keep you company then.
>>37600420I'd have to agree with Lazarus; keeping the students from actively dying during their studies is almost as time consuming as teaching them! I can't promise that the fatalities will drop.>>37600613Huh.>>37600635We still have the deathmaze?>>37600654I had something witty to say, but I'm afraid the sleep has washed it from my memory *sips tea*.
>>37600524Tough luck>>37600551Thanks for the offer.>>37600583She's her for the deathrace. Story time Noel.>>37600663Do yourself a favor kid Drop the race.>>37600686Really?
>>37600663I think Vex intends for you to prove your worth first in the death maze.>>37600696Its a new one.
>>37600654I, Fabulous Esteban, am stunned at your perceptiveness!>>37600686Hah! We, the members present here to include Fabulous Esteban, shall see!
>>37600699Well, I just moved into my new lab and a LOT of my pets sort of... got lost. I'm on a new computer and lost pretty much all my images
>>37600676By the low gods kid, You're helpful but you make me feel guilty.>>37600686Stop messing with the new ones!
>>37600638Thank you Mortimer.
>>37600750Please do not call me kid sir, I am 500 years old.>>37600754Anytime sir.
>>37600614No they are very conniving sons of bitches and cruel and will take your soul at any cost without killing you.
>>37600699But I need to! Vex won't teach me about pinball wizardry other wise!
>>37600600Finally I am a teacher too and can misstrea- ehr educate apprentices! Yay~
>>37600754Hello sir. It's been a long time seen I've seen you. I trust there's no hard feelings? All the things I said back then where said in anger and I apologize for them.
>>37600741I, Fabulous Esteban, express my condolences!>>37600635I, Fabulous Esteban, shall not be stopped from gracing this hall with my near divine voice!>>37600750I, Fabulous Esteban, need no defending!Really hoping he dies in the deathmaze
>>37600741Really? Need me to look for them?>>37600779Is that even a thing? Why not learn regular wizardry?
>>37600699You have helped me out several times so I figured I would try and return the favor.
>>37600789I don't know, that's why I came here.
>>37600718Ah so it won't be as great as the old one.>>37600770Mortimer, how are you?>>37600779If you're so intent on doing it, here's some advice - Don't go right. And for the love of god make sure you have a Sapphire, an Emerald, and a Diamond. I cannot stress those three particular gemstones enough.
>>37600789Oh no, I'm sure I will find them soon, I'm keeping an eye on the local guards. When I see a bunch running in one direction, I'll know they found at least one of them.
>>37600811I am good sir. How are you?
>>37600635I still think the Death Maze is a waste of resources, I mean just studying here is enough of a danger to health and mind. >>37600663Come on now, speak up, you're in a hell of a lot better position than I was when Ashburn dragged me to the council.More dressed too for that matter.
>>37600791I can understand that. Reset your summoning circles three days early by the way.>>37600810Might want to ask for proof before you do anything.>>37600819Alright. Also you have a tentacle showing.
>>37600784I'll be surprised if you make it long enough to run the race at this rate.>>37600811It may be better, IT may be worse. We'll find out.
>crashes through a window, wrestling a cloak made of lavaGodsdammit yield already!Can somebody cost deanimate on this, please?
>>37600832Feeling the weight of ages and wishing that I didn't stop aging in my fifties so my hair wasn't half-grey.
>>37600782None at all Dramorn.>>37600779I would suggest you go to Master Thomas to learn it. Vex once held a village captive with it, whereas Thomas once held the hearts of the world hostage.
>>37600843Well, three things.One: It was Vex's idea, it's not a good plan.Two: I've already got a pack of undead wolves for it, and I don't want to waste them.Three: It'll be fun to watch.
>>37600867>pours coffee on it>>37600880I think that it looks rather well on you sir
>>37600772Replace "sons of bitches" with "creatures of utmost majesty" and "cruel" with "awe-inspiring" and "souls" with "gold" and what do you get? Hmmm?
>>37600843I'm [mumbles] >>37600847Do you have a quarter?
>>37600721Great, mages born from nobility, twice the ego, none of the work ethic.
>>37600847Gods damn it! This is what happens when you move everything yourself and you accidentally spill some potions on yourself...
>>37600843Well, Someone could sell showings of it to nobles for profit if we were to record it...Soros?
Huh, is it time for the apprentice death race yet?>>37600779It's understandable that she would give you a ultimatum like that, her class already have over 130 students. But if you are lucky she might be more accepting off a new apprentice once some of them are lost to the obstacle course.
>>37600939Your crème sir.
>>37600781Don't lie we mistreat them all the time.
>>37600923Several *tosses her a coin*>>37600929Thought you should know.>>37600933Yes?
>>37600847Why is that? I will take the advice nonetheless but why?
>>37600957Hey Mortimer, can you bring me some coffee? With plenty of cream and sugar. I've been having a rough week.
>>37600971We should record the death race, And then sell it. I believe you can handle that? I'm not well versed in magic but I think I've seen you handle something like this before.
>>37600770Holy shit. You look good for your age.
>>37600899Except for the replace the not try to kill you with try to kill you. You missed that.
>>37600994Sure. All you need to do is make some more Vraals. Marco is getting lonely>>37600998Thank you sir
>>37600965Luckily I was homeschooled. To imagine to be in the same lot as those red robed plebs...horrible.>>37601004My father leaves the villagers mostly alive, so he can plunder them again after a few years.
>>37599821Wait im confused is this the mages guild meeting or a quest.
You'll have to excuse me folks, my "Eldritch abominations are trying to burn down my house again" senses are tingling.
>>37600933Cruel, bloody, no respect for human life... Yep they would definitely pay to watch it.>>37600927Really? Not all of us are lazy.>>37600998I would be willing to bet a good deal of that is the coffee.>>37601031BOTH!
>>37601031Supposed to be a quest, someone jumped the gun and didn't wait for the QM
>>37600982Ward failure on part of an apprentice>>37600995Already doing so.....>>37601031Both, bypasses angry mods.
>>37600883And of course not to forget, four: It will be VERY fun to watch.>>37600927Don't worry, he is a red robed apprentice. I think we both know how that ends.>>37601031Mostly the former, calling it the later appears to ward off the mod who keeps deleting the threads though.
>>37601031We've just got the quest tag up there because a janitor will nuke it if we don't
>>37601019fine, I'll get on that as soon as I get my supplies in order.>>37601036Oh, that must be Flopsy.
>>37600998Everyone here is 500 years of age or older. I lost count a long time ago.
>>37601058if we put quest in the name, the mods wont kill threads, also we get new players
>>37601051>>37601058oh well thats alright the last mages guild quest was a bit of a clusterfuck to everybody was running a separate character and everything.
Gentlemen, while we await Vex's arrival, I have most dire news. The local fiefdom has expressed distaste at our decision to steer the hall through their town square and demolish their prized statue of the town's founder. How will we defuse the situation?>Makeshift quest time.
>>37601117Send them 25 gallons of my coffee as an apology
>>37601088Wait, you know that *everyone* here is over 500?Son of a githyanki whore! What gave it away!?
>>37601117I say we magically rebuild the statue and mind wipe everyone so they don't remember what we did.
>>37601028Dragons are fun to play with too. I enjoy drinking games with them.>>37601070I need to flog an apprentice then.>>37601082Flopsy is back?
>>37601088Not everyone, I am technically only 31.>>37601113that is the entire point of mages guild quest, we all make our own characters and interact to run the quest, i thought i made that clear in the op
>>37601088i gave up a lot eariler all those years with the time shenanigans while building the hub plane made keeping track of my age relative to the material and my chronological age a pain
>>37600971>Jill is pelted by several coins. she picks on up and her eyes start to go milky. she feels around with the coin in her hand until it goes forward and the coin disappears.
>>37601117Its a normal stone statue, just ask one of our mages who's good with stone to fix it.
>>37601138Seems likely to work.>roll>>37601143>roll twice, craftsmanship and mental domination
>>37601088Man you cant go generalizing like that. Some of us aren't even middle-aged yet.I still get the heat.
>>37601088...I'm not even close to 500.>>37601145My father brews excelent dragon brand whiskey if you are interested.
>>37601170The Hell?>>37601185
>>37601088cough27cough
>>37601117>>37601143Or someone could just rebuild it, but animate it so that it can talk and shit. Maybe even find the founder's soul and bind it to the statue?
>>37601170Pulverizing pinball!
>>37601145Apparently, I'm just glad I found him so quickly. He can be such a trouble maker when he isn't around his mommy.>>37601117Well, I would shut them up with a show of force using my pets... But most of them are missing. I'm thinking of putting up Missing posters around the town.
>>37601159Technically I am 26 here and old as pit fiends in the hells soooooo.>>37601165Yeah I know the feeling.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37601216woops, it was sent to the wrong address. maybe it will work this time
>>37599794well i myself dont need a whole lot of money to do my work.however my teaching on the other hand gets quite expensive i may be able to earn money on my personal work thoughwe could get the war weavers to start putting those weaving skills to good use and sell what they make
>>37601225That's... probably a less than good idea.>>37601185I would, but I'm not the best at either. Anyone else up for it?
>>37600957Thank you Mortimer, but can I have some coffee too, I can still feel the drink I had last night.>>37601088I'm not event 300 yet, and Noel is way younger than me on double digits.>>37601117I'm in favour of anything that does not include throw me out of the hall as a distraction while the hall keeps on moving. Catching up to a moving building doesn't sound that difficult, but in practice it's hard work.
>>37601212Drinking I am always interested friend.>>37601220Noel I feel like we have had this conversation before.
>>37601183I can turn to stone does that count
>>37601260Hells, I know I would have difficulty catching up to it without teleporting. This damn building knows how to run.
>>37601238It appears that they have drank the coffee in a show of contempt.>>37601225>Roll craftsmanship>>37601260I don't know, it's got potential. Joking, joking. Not throwing you out of the building any time soon.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37601260Here you go >>37601296Lets try tea
>>37601113That's the whole point of the Mages Guild threads; multiple characters just fuck around and sometimes get shit done.>>37601088Only 500? HA!>>37601260I see you're still one of....well, whatever t is you called them. Fluffy animal things. 300 is quite a feat, we'll have to organize something for that occasion.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>37601307
>>37601145Wouldn't help much.>>37601170? Only tossed one.>>37601230Please keep them on a short metaphorical leash.>>37601296Hello Pierre.
>>37601269>Snaps his fingers, and a bottles of Dragon Brand apears in his handHere the first bottle is on the house. I hope ypu got tons of fire resistance, it's quit strong.And while we are on age I'm only 21.
>>37601341Youngling.
>>37601296I've got no idea what in the Hells I'm doing, but why not. Not like I can break it more, right?
>>37601285No.
>>37600939>>37601260Huh, hold on a minute, I thought I got rid of that old nametag.>changes to the correct oneThere we go.>>37601293Last time I had to catch up to it I wasn't able to use any of my spells, it wasn't a fun day.>>37601296I'm not denying its effective, but I think once is enough.
>>37601307>>37601326They remain resolute in their contempt, and have begun defacing the legs of the guild hall.>>37601334Hello, care to help out with this one? Locals are pissed off.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>37601358>DIIIICE
>>37601355Sorry Soros, not everyone can be older than the gods.
>>37601269Only slightly less recurring than questions about whether I'm a boy or a girl.Damn you Sister Narasee, why'd you have to give me a boy's name.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>37601367Send out Marco and Polo
>>37601341aw, that's cute. Who let the child in here?
>>37601334True.>>37601341Ha fire resistance is what I do best. I live off of fire. *takes a quaff* Ha this is good.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>37601367
>>37601367About?>>37601386Not all of them, just the younger ones.>>37601393Why waste the effort?
Rolled 8, 10 = 18 (2d20)>>37601381>opposed roll>>37601388
>>37601396Well, I could try talking to them.*jumps out the window and crashes through the roof of someone's house*
>>37601403I could get demons to do it this is a point.
>>37601461Oh, here we go.
>>37601390My father, Draconis the Red, one of the main ivestors of the guild.>>37601393Glad you like it. Next bottle would be 500 coins.>>37601403Hey Soros who is older you or my father? I know my father is old even for a dragon but I don't know how old that is exactly.
>>37601500Ha a pittance
>>37601476Still a waste of magic. Just Fail em.>>37601500I knew him as a hatchling granted he nearly killed me. I was maybe 40 at the time?
>>37601381They are enamored with the statue, the founder's soul is ecstatic to return to the mortal coil once more. How this statue will cope in a modern world remains to be seen, but for the time being the locals have ceased defacing our guild hall. Meanwhile, in the depths of the tower, it seems a group of overly rebellious apprentices have disregarded their department heads warnings about the dangers of chess, and have started a game!
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>37601367That's it, you have had plenty of time to play around. Let's restore order the old fashioned way. By throwing a small army of skeletons their way until they leave us to our business.
>>37601403>>37601482*the hole in the roof of the house is swarmed in shadows as it repairs itself**James steps back into the meeting hall through a shadow*Well that probably didn't help all that much, even if I fixed it.
>>37601500What the- Since when did we have investors? I thought we were and independent organization that funded itself by stealing from the local people and coercing the kingdom
>>37601367I feel like taking a walk im going to walk down the side of the building towards them that should scare them off*casts false gravity and teleports away
>>37601537That's an awfully small army.
>>37601531This is not going to end well.
>>37601524Failing them is a lot harder than that. However teaching them through pain is worth it.
>>37601531Well, let this be a reminder that there's no problem in this world or any other that can't be solved by hitting it repeatedly with a blunt instrument!
>>37601537No killing random peasants please Lazarus.
>>37601561oh there gone>>37601531What are you talking about conspierre i have had plenty of games of chess whats wrong with it
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>37601537Here, boss, let me help.
yo magic sux
>>37601541What happened? I blink for a second and things get weird.>>37601555Both actually.>>37601596If you say so.>>37601537Behave Lazarus.>>37601617You behave too.
>>37601620your not a very smart man are you anon the most volatile wizards in the land and you come and insult themi call dibs on the corpse
>>37600699If you must know, I was visiting Elizabeth, Crone of Fire Magics, my second teacher.
>>37601620Calm down, we fixed your statue already!We even made it better!>>37601631Remember the old saying look before you leap? I didn't. That house never saw it coming.
Oh hey. Tuypo is back.
>>37601524Story time? My father never talks about the "good old times" only that they were "better" and then he complains about too loud barding.>>37601522I don't drink it. I think it tastes like piss, it probably IS dragon piss for all I know.>>37601555You are independent, father just gives the archwizard crap loads of gold because he really likes the guild, thus his word is valued.
>>37601651When we're done with him there won't be a corpse left.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>37601620You know what, I'm not in the mood for such prattle tonight.I'm going to try flaying your undying soul in eternal agony.
>>37601665Good for you, learn anything?>>37601667Ok, then. I guess.>>37601674Yup.>>37601679I was a adept wizard adventuring for some rare tomes you dad nearly crushed me when he literally got the jump on me.
Make an apprentice, have a traditional game of wizard chess. And of course, one of them has already summoned a squad of skeleton knights to the fray.
>>37601691Don't murder random peasants please Veilhex. I expect it from Lazarus, but please try not to make my job more difficult. We DID just destroy their statue after all, even if we fixed it.
>>37601708No, just giving her some company, still blames herself for failing to knock some morals and ethics into Ashburn, you know how it is.
>>37601708So you weren't always as powerful as you are now, makes sense I guess. Father always says the older an artifact is the more powerful it's enchantment.
>>37601620I will slaughter you fighter.>>37601631You see to fail you have to lose your soul. But I try to teach them properly because a bunch of different idiots running around spouting off about demonology but know nothing deserve to die.
>>37601713So they're not in fact playing chess but an offshoot of Wizard Battle Chess Card Game Ultra Super Deluxe Romance Bingo 2.0?Better tell them to construct additional pylons...
>>37601733Dammit, I never get to flay anyone's undying souls anymore...
Hey guys. Whats going on in this thread.
So are there any materials any departments are low on im going on one of my round the great wheel trips and may as well pick some stuff up along the way
>>37601744I do. But you can't plant a seed on a stone and expect it to grow.>>37601746Well yeah, otherwise age as well as wear and tear would ruin it.>>37601755Fair enough.>>37601792Death race soon, you can wait.>>37601798Guild Business.
>>37601570Indeed, I think most of it fell apart before hitting the ground. Serves me right for saving all my good skeletons for something more important.>>37601608>>37601631Oh you are no fun.>>37601617Well you at least dared to use an army built on better materials than mine. But I don't think we have anything big enough to keep them off yet.
Alright nerds, let's do this. Those dusty old fucks can't tell us what to do!
>>37601792i know a guy that makes a soul substitute thats just as fun to flay
>>37601798Did I give you that?
>>37601827I'm pretty sure both literally and figuratively most people here can tell you what to do and you will do it, willingly or otherwise.
>Vex reluctantly walks into the hall, instead of her usual dynamic explosion through the floor>She looks very different from usual.Sorry about the delay, everyone.... Something came up.
>>37601824You're still on thin ice remember?
>>37601827Do I need to club you boy?
>>37601815>I do. But you can't plant a seed on a stone and expect it to grow.sure you can you just need to right kind of seed and demiplane
For shame, my students never die in training, but broken noses are another story. I don't understand why most wizards are fo fragile
>>37601885le gasp she is pregnantwhos the father
>>37601885My that was fast.>>37601746Congratulations!>>37601893Not what I meant.
>>37601885Oh my lord, congratulations!
>>37601885*Hearsch has the exact same expression as the image on his face*>>37601904When you're dealing with protoblasmic cells and quasi-radiation pellets its a bit hard NOT to have students die. Sometimes they touch the wrong thing, knock something over, or just die.
>>37601885Hah! It is a good day for me, Fabulous Esteban, to prove my worth in your maze of death! Lead me to the entrance, that I may lead my family's name to victory!
>>37601885Well, fuck. Yo, dragon! You're the only one whose kid it could be, you take responsibility!Now, I'm not too well versed in such things, but Vex, when did this happen?
>>37601917i know that i just like picking apart analogyswhich is odd because i love analogys
>>37601815No wonder father likes you, he loves ancient artifacts.>>37601798What is that thing? Looks a bit like an angel.
>>37601824As long as your definition of fun doesn't involve killing ordinary citizens of the kingdom who haven't signed the apprenticeship waiver, you are free to have as much fun as you want.>>37601885As expected of a half-dragon.
>>37601746Zirconis, can I borrow you for a minute?
>>37601885GOOD LORD IS THAT CONTAGIOUS? DON'T BREATHE ON ME! Clearly this is the foul work of some shadowy cabal of the clerics of the foul one!
>>37601964Sure, what is it?
>>37601904i occasionally have students die but thats because we go on field trips to places to dangerous for them to handle. if they dont come back when i get them rezed i go to the outer planes and torture there souls until they agree to come back
>>37601713Oh, you're going to play that game eh? Well let's see what you think of THIS maneuver.Top that, Mr Bones.Just pretend that the pawns are black.
>>37601970I would prefer if you didn't use shadowy to describe bad things. Also I thoroughly doubt she is contagious.
>>37601885>Drops out of her spell
>>37601986You are dense my friend
>Kicks open door, bleeding from a slash across his head I'm back. Had to say hi to an old freind.
>>37601885Oh my, so many questions.
>>37601947Yeah.>>37601952Heh.>>37601970She's pregnant you dunce.>>37602004You ok?
>>37601986>whispering loudlyThe fuck do you think!?I've got a little witch-dragon inside me, and no one ever told me the gestation period would only be a couple of days!
>>37602006You got Vex pregnant during that Fade To Black in the archive last night, you imbecile.Speaking of, I've still got a recording of it, if anyone's making an offer.
>>37601885Will we still have the obstacle course of death, or will that have to be put on hold?>>37601887I know, I know...>sighsSo any chance you could help me locate the soul of Secretus? Ever since he claimed responsibility for making my apprentice kill me I've been wanting to catch that guy and shove him in a skull for the rest of eternity.>>37601957It's limitations like those that led me to the drastic actions I took last meeting you know.
>>37602012[Heal]Welcome back.>>37602036That is dragons for you.
>>37602027The hell is that? Put her in isolation, I don't want to catch that!>>37602036This is the foulest disease I have ever heard of. The cult of the foul one shall be exterminated for this!
>>37602049Wrong person
>>37602036short gestation periods are great i have had wives with short and long pregnancy’s many of them multiple lengths and i can assure you short ones are better
>>37602006I'm a sorcerer duh. I don't need to study stuff. Awesome runs in my blood.>>37602027Pregnant?!>>37602036>Whispers loudly backI have no idea how that happened. I swear!
>>37601933>>37601987Both of you should teach your students some basic defenses then, or better yet let me instruct them!
>>37602077Apologies.>>37602071Why am I the only one who seems to be reacting sanely or normally to this?
>>37602049Nobody buy it!>>37602064Still working on it>>37602071What did you say about my kid?
Once more Talo's shop of totally not illegally obtained rare alchemical supplies and components is opened.Anyone looking for something specific?
>>37602071>>37602088I am going too club both of you where it hurts the most >>37602095accepeted
>>37602071God damit you were here when we explained this shit to that drow werent you.
>>37602099because you understand the cycle of life and death better than anyone here?
>>37602071I dont think they recovered from the last exterminatus you called down on them sixty-four years ago.>>37602095If you're stupid enough to mix volatile chemical a with volatile chemical b when expressly told NOT TO MIX THOSE CHEMICALS, then you deserve what's going to happen when you mix them.*makes an explosion sound complete with hand gestures*
>>37602064I assumed it was because you hated druids.>>37602088Haven't you ever wondered why there are so many more half dragons than actual dragons?Now you know.
>>37602088Yes, and you're the father, scalebrain!
>>37602064He's slippery but I can try.>>37602071Pregnancy isn't contagious it's making anew being view intercourse.>>37602088Yup, You had sex she got pregnant. Congrats you're a father.
>>37602049>>37601885That progressed that far in the course of a night?that really can't be healthy
>>37602099And what would be an appropriate reaction?>>37602104YOU ATE YOUR CHILD?>>37602064It won't be easy, he's a slippery fuck
>>37602167Well, not yet in any case.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>pigeon flies in with note. lands on Mortimer's shoulder.What's this?>reads note Damn it dad!>height increases to 15 feet>>37602167>ballshot
>>37602138Fair enough, any wizard who can't protect himself from his own expirements doesn't deserve the title in the first place
>Bursts through the wall.I'VE COME FOR DRAMORN OAKENHEART. WHERE ARE YOU, SLAVE?!
>>37602167I find sarcasm to be the appropriate reaction for a great number of things.
>>37602095eh there fine mostly just the occasional balor or pit fiend that comes out of nowhere
>>37602139Wouldn't my child just be a quater-dragon?>>37602147Well I'm okay with that. I will be an awesome father. Just like my dad...Wait I gonna scry at him and tell him he is going to be a grandpa.>>37602148Uh thanks Soros.
>>37602163Look, Half/Quarter Dragon witch children are already something that normally don't happen. I think normal person biology doesn't apply to anyone here.>>37602167Not freaking out and declaring a simple fact of biology a horrible conspiracy?
>>37602099Nope, i'm laughing about it.>>37602167No her child is growing inside her, When it come to term she'll push it out. >>37602182I wouldn't advise it, you'll end up hurt.>>37602163Magically augment growth.>>37602199>Binds of Destiny>>37602212You're welcome.
>>37602147What?!>>37602199WHAT?!
>>37602148My gods, so that's where the magic goes. Women steal our magic to make apprentices! No wonder I impulsively lead astray all who seek my tutelage! It all makes sense now!
>>37602199I CAST FISTPREPARE FOR COMBAT FELLOW PRACTIONERS
>>37602027yes>>37602182Are you okay!
>>37602167What about the breach of ethics that must have happened, a teacher and a student (student teacher, but still subordinate to a teacher) having sexual relations.
>>37602234How have you not noticed >>37602194
>>37602234*hits him with a memory crystal about humanoid procreation*>>37602268He's slow due to mental overload.
>>37602212I'm honestly not sure what it'll be like.>You Decide, /tg/!>Come up with your own idea of what our draconic witchspawn baby will be like!>Roll 1d20. I'll pick my favorite idea from the highest and lowest results.
>>37602213EVERYTHING IS A HORRIBLE CONSPIRACY YOU FOOL>>37602201Yeah, sure you do.>>37602229SO THE PLAGUE IS PARASITIC IN NATURE? WE MUST STOP IT AT ALL C->>37602194>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hW93CV6m-JU>falls to the ground
>>37602240that sounds like a good idea*brings his wand of magic missile to the ready
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37602307>A normal baby!
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37602308There it is>>37602307Like Ben Stein
>>37602240OH YEAH, THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING>>37602199LETS DANCE FUCKER!
is that short gestation normal though or is something else at play here
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>37602307>A completely ordinary dragon
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>37602307>perfectly normal child. Appears human due to lack of pointed ears on the father
>>37602263If that was a repimandable offense then Ashburn would have gotten the boot a long time go.
>>37602250I'm swell. How are you, my young padawan? And why did you add pants to your uniform?
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>37602307>Magical Dragon boy.>>37602308Good night.
>>37602139Well that's part of the reason, but I'm a bit restricted in what I'm allowed to do to them. An open war would have made things so much simpler.>>37602148>>37602167I'm sure we can find him if we work together on this.>pausesActually, things might be going my way for once. There is a very familiar spirit around at the moment.https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37599794/#37602120_1
>>37602323i prepared nothing but portals this morning so this is all i have
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>37602356Well, you did kill himso would that count as getting the boot.BTW, nice to see you again Noel>>37602307>A healthy normal child, with cat ears
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>37602263Well Soros cast some spell so I and Vex would have sex. Also I'm a teacher since well just today.>>37602307Obviously it will be awesome and perfect, just like it's parents. A cute little quater dragon girl
>>37602212It is a dominant trait I believe.>>37602263Zirconis wasn't actually a teacher until he signed Antruthius' book earlier today.>>37602240>>37602323>>37602342Calm down, we don't know why it is here yet, and in my experience, not all scary looking creatures, demons, outsiders, etc. are violent ruthless bastards looking for a fight... Only most of them.>>37602199On that note, what can we do for you?
>>37602229>Reverse Manashift.I WILL NOT BE DENIED>>37602240DO NOT INTERFERE>>37602231THERE YOU ARE LIZARD. I WILL FLAY YOU!
>>37602377The hell?
Sorry, I kind of dozed off for a second, what did I miss->>37601885Oh god damn it, we're going to have to deal with another pregnant witch. I thought we made it clear that guild members are not allowed to get pregnant when after I had my own child?
>>37602263oh thats classics talo your comedy shows are the answer to our financial woes
>>37602404I was never told of this rule. Not that I'd follow it anyway.
>>37602396Oh hold on, he signed Antruthius's book? Oh man.....*stifles his laughter*
>>37602389That was personal, not council mandated. Still abusing windmagic I take it Talo?
>>37602404I'm willing to blame the ghosts in the Archives if you are.
>>37602404What ever happened to him by the way?>>37602377Oh dear. >>37602393,1Why....on earth... That's it, your body is going to be a window display for the transvestite clothing store.
>>37602377Should I be worried?>>37602393There was still a 80% chance of that anyways I gave you two a very small nudge.>>37602401>Lucifix Lance.>>37602404It was going to happen anyways so I sped them along, still expected a longer gestation period.
Raiding in a vidyagame, Look back and see >>37601885 having like 20 replies. giggle uncontrollably.
>>37602199AH, there you are Mister Snuggles. I've been looking EVERYWHERE for you.
>>37602366>BlushesY-y-you can't just walk around with out pants!
>>37602393......that only raises more ethical concernsthough I suppose Wizards don't have any sense of right or wrong.Speaking of which, would yall like to see the spell I found in the ancient tomb of the mad king?
>opens the door walks inUhm hello, is this the mages guild? I'm looking for a mage thats adept at illusions, conjuration and other spells connected to these. I would like to be an apprentice of that mage.completely new to this and I would like to participate, this interests me very much. Also, my english might be not that good
>>37602437Secretus is indeed claiming he is responsible for the incident.>>37602444I should be able to handle this, unless he runs away like last time.>focuses on the spiritual plane
>>37602453Well, I shouldn't until I drop the baby weight. But you look adorable sans trousers. So, you know, sans those trousers.
>>37602443Jake'ness Decommissioned him when he left for the Northern Wastes, like the colossal jackass he is.
>>37602465Generally spells in the tombs of Mad Kings are bad.So no, not right now. Wait until we meet up in the archives later.
>>37602396I thought my kids would just be fairly normal draconic bloodline sorcerers.>>37602443What?>>37602444Of course I'm irresistible.
>>37599821H-h-hello? I-I was t-t-told to f-find S-Soros...f-f-for assignment d-d-duty...
>>37602465i remember when i was still a good mani still try to act good but i cant be called good when i associate with these people
>>37602000>From behind a closed doorUh, teachers, someone might've knocked over a wizard's chess board in the basement, and everything within thirty metres might be sealed in a demiplane.>Cracks open the door>>37602199Okay, I see you're a bit busy, I'll come back later.
>>37602468Hm... I think we had an Illusionist at some point, but for the life of me, I can't remember what happened to them...
>>37602468Welcome! I'm good at none of that, but I'm sure someone here can properly instruct you.
Good afternoon, all.Did I miss anything?>>37600076Is the coffee still available?
>>37602476>Blushes but doesn't drop trou
>>37602497Would you happen to know cromina?
>>37602432You would really think more people would read the fine print.>>37602443>>37602377>>37602470I highly doubt he would show himself around us if he didn't have a back up plan of some sort.>>37602393,1Correct?
>>37602482, 1>returns his focus to the land of the livingOh dear... I might want some help on this after all.
>>37602468we dont so much do apprenticeships here as classes but we do sometimes do one on 1 things
>>37602451BEGONE. YOU HAVE WARPED FLESH FOR MILLINNIA YET YOU HAVE YET TO ASCEND IN EVEN THE MOST RUDIMENTRY ASPECT.>>37602444QUIT THAT! I SWEAR. PREPARE TO DIE IRONARM. YOU'RE COMRADES ARE NOT HERE TO AID YOU NOW!
>>37602491NOT YOU YOU FOOL>>37602479You ever get him back to normal?>>37602482,1Smooth.>>37602491,1No. Never again.
>>37602530Here you go ma'am. Any word on our wayward law magus>>37602554Coffee?
>>37602535I'm giving you a sad cloud sticker for the day.
>>37602516oh dammit i will fix it
>>37602491Still cocky eh?>>37602497I'm here, what do you need?>>37602545How bad? I'm dealing class 2 instability >>37602554>Howling Star>>37602564Stop pressuring her.
>>37602554Fuck off Squidface! I have my comrades here to aid me!>Darwin squealsYeah you too bud.
>>37602564>places pocket of sweater
>>37602453Indeed pants are an almost necessary part of today's attire. Unless you wear a dress, in which case it just looks weird. Unless they're short pants that are covered by the dress, but then you're just being modest.....*clears his throat*>>37602468You'll need to talk to....hell, I can't remember. You will need to purchase several items from a list - go and ask Apprentice Services.>>37602542You'd think they'd remember about signing things with your name, but they don't. Not a hard thing to remember.>>37602564I guess congratulations are in order for your unexpected pregnancy. (I think).
>>37602580You're not my supervisor!
>>37602545Fine.>>37602554Calm down. If you try to attack anyone here, you will probably die before you can move.
>>37602520Nothing. Nothing at all happened to them.
>>37602593And there are the hormones.Even less friendly than usual, eh, Vex?
>>37602577ok long story short those guys are going to be stuck as animated chess pieces for at least the next few weeks
>>37602593 I GET IT!
>>37602563Actually, yes! Anfarthon says he thinks fondly of the Mages here, though not so much of some of them, or the guild itself. The poor man is still getting used to the idea of emotions, it seems. He neglected to mention where he was, but said he was handling some business with someone named... Houra?
>>37602529>>37602551>>37602520\>>37602590ah I see. thank you for the help. When will classes begin and where is the apprentice services?
>>37602554Aw, it sounds like someone is cranky because he lost his favorite toy. Now come over here like a good boy and I will go get it for you.>>37602559For the most part, but now he doesn't seem to age or mature, so I have had quite a few apprentices look after him over the years.
>>37602593*Affixes a baleful glare* Really want to try me?>>37602632Details please.
>>37602482......fine
>>37602623Huzzah!>>37602609Whatever do you mean?
>>37602632Well, tell him I send my regards. Oh, and that if he ever needs coffee, call me up. I have a new business delevirng coffee
>>37602580Why wouldn't I? I like the thought of becoming a father. Nothing to be distressed about.>>37602593True, that would be me..
>>37602637*whips up a small portalgo through there they will sort you out
>>37602559I'll admit, not my best move, but then again, it's not often I cast my spells in astral form.>>37602580I'm being made to look like an apprentice!But nothing that's a threat to the rest of you.>>37602600Good, now remember, I want his soul intact if possible.
>>37602563I WOULD SACRAFICE A THOUSAND SUNS FOR AN ASSISTANT AS COMPITENT AS YOU>>37602580STOP. IT. I'M HERE FOR THE BOY.>>37602583HA! YOU THINK THESE MAGE'S WILL HELL YOU? YOU ARE NOTHING TO THEM! YOUR LOVE DOES NOT RECIPRICATE HERE, YOUR FREINDSHIP IS ONE SIDED, MORTAL!
>>37602645The plague has clearly affected her mind! We know not how it heightens her witchy powers!>>37602639Well, it could be worse I suppose.
>>37602664Thank you very much. Who do I ask for once I get through?
>>37602674Thank you for the compliment
>>37602541I w-w-was told t-to avoid her...something ab-bout m-m-mental trauma...>>37602580I-I am here f-f-for my assssignment. I-instructors a-and such...
>>37602655Oh, absolutely nothing.You just seem a bit more... crazy than usual.But then so do most of the regulars here.>>37602674Would you kindly stop shouting and just take the guy already?
>>37602645The letter is dated, so he must be a fair distance away. He sounded a lot more 'stable' than our last correspondence, though. Hasn't shown any interest in returning, and states that this business with Houra is just him finishing his last duties to the guild.
>>37602661Actually it's Fryia.>>37602645Baby on board, Soros. Ain't got time for your shenanigans.
>>37602698Oh yes
>>37602698Jesus fuck I'm in too many things.
>>37602690its all automated
>>37602705So, w-when will the [mumbles]
>>37602705But I am your owner. And the father of your unborn child.
>>37602612Damnit, I wouldn't have pulled out the chess-a-tron so early if I had known I was playing against a necro-barbarian; death magic-infused rages ain't nothing to fuck with.Good to hear that it won't be permananent, at least.
>>37602721Oops! Wearing someone else's nametag. Spin the punishment wheel!
>>37602674I would seriously like to suggest that you stop threatening people here.
>>37602564Couldn't you just curse it to fall apart or something?
>>37602745Well, this took a creepy turn.
>>37602639HOW DARE YOU ADRESS ME IN SUCH A MANNER. SOROS I CAN RESPECT. HE HAS SLAIN GREATER GODS THAN I. YOU ARE NOT WORTH MY CARE.>>37602699SEE LIZARD? YOU ARE WORTH LESS THAN A DOG TO THEM.>>37602692IF YOU EVER ASPIRE TO SOMETHING GREATER, SEEK OUT MY ORDER.
>>37602661Well good.>>37602668After what you did you deserve it, a little.>>37602674*Annulling lash>>37602680Learn about human breeding Pierre.>>37602698Of course, *hands him a paper*Come to me if you need help.>>37602704Really? Interesting>>37602705Then behave.>>37602762Indeed.
>>37602755I think you're in enough punishment already.>>37602674You have no power here Demon; begone, for your constant yelling both bores and annoys me!
>>37602762Yeah, I'm getting kinda weirded out here, actually.
>>37602755come on come on slave to the most perverted members of the guild daddy needs a new sexual partner
>>37602745Wait, what? I certainly didn't sanction that!
>>37602773Th-th-thank you...i-is there a-anything I c-c-can do to h-help? M-mistress h-had me c-c-cleaning up her...experiments...
>>37602727all right thank you very much Tuypo sir.>enters the portalwhat do i do now?
>>37602790It all happened during a Fade to Black.I've got a recording, if you're willing to pay.
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>37602771DIE!>Draws sword and ejects sword hidden in the warforged arm>Charges at the avatar
>>37602773You behave.>>37602745Big man, eh? How did your dad take the news?
It took a lot of doing but I have managed to trick all the assassins in the guild into running the death maze. Also congratulations Vex!
>>37602808You can fetch me more coffee, then get yourself some supplies with these *hands 2 gems over*>>37602820>recovery>>37602822Don't make me get unpleasant.
>>37602812your an aprentice you dont know anything yet of course but by the next meeting you should have some skills
>>37602812come back whenever you feel like it and marvel at how quick the process was
>>37602745Didn't think Vex was into that sort of thing.
>>37602680Yeah, but I lose so many assistants that way. The boy doesn't know his own power and is too playful.>>37602745Somehow, I highly doubt that.>>37602771Now now now, Do i need to get Fluffy to get you to behave? He was always able to get you in line.>>37602773Soros, could you help me get a handle on my grumpy pet? I don't want to have to use my physical strength because I'm pretty sure I might hurt him.>>37602820HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH
>>37602814how much for said recording
>>37602839But I haven't finished it yet. They might all survive!Thanks!
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>37602820>Divert HarmGoodness, you'll need some help!>>37602814I have no interest in the details, but intra-guild copulation requires the proper paperwork.
>>37602762Creepy? I don't get you...>>37602773Isn't it a dragons job to make some halfbreeds?>>37602790She is my princess, I took her during our fade to black.>>3760281430% of the pay goes to me remember.>>37602822Oh totally forgot to call him.>Pulls a crystal orb from his bag of holding
>>37602820PATHETIC>Summons Spectral Glaive DIE. >Impales Dramorn
>>37602844P-please to upsetting Ms.Vex
>>37602859you gotta admit, apprentice services knows how to get shit done and done quickly>>37602879For a second I read that as Divert Ham....
>>37602859>>37602855ok thanks. So when I come back i should be a fully fledged mage?
>>3760288430% of what I tell you the pay is.>>37602876Well, the crystal cost me a cool 100... how much is it worth to you?
>>37602865Working on it.>>37602884Still Creepy>>37602891Fine.
>>37602879>>37602844HA. I MAY BE LIMITED IN POWER BUT MY GLAIVE IS ABSOLUTE. HIS SOUL BELONGS TO MY REALM.
>>37602787aww it landed on cleaning the outer walls
>>37602924>Mumbles her thanks
>>37602908Whenever you want. The whole premise behind these threads is "Wizards are dicks and barely have any concept of right and wrong" Except for the ones that do. I don't know, do what you want.
>>37602887*James' shadow rushes over Dramorn and blocks the hit*>>37602908still an apprentice, but apprentices (and everyone else) are allowed in meetings if they want
>>37602930What the fuck. I miss one thread and this is what I get. Fuck.
>>37602908well best to start out low at first most people come in already high up but i would say for you next couble of threads just increase in power after a little while just consider yourself full fledged you will still be the new guy though of course
>>37602884Princess, prince, it matters little to me. Just need you to fill out these Forms of Implied and Evidenced Consent. It's new bureaucracy jargon, really. But it IS the law.>>37602930Do I need to detain you, sir? Because I will if necessary.
>>37602908sure, you can be a mage of any kind of competence, so long as you aren't basically just Jesus
>>37602919i will pay 10000 gold for it
>>37602980Fine, but I'm totally going to disobey these later.
>>37602924No you are creepy.>>37602884>The image of a gigantic red dragon appears in the orb. He is snoring loudly.Dad wake up, I have great news.
>>37602844F-f-for me?>He looks genuinely confused at the prospect of having his own things...then he frowns.D-does th-th-that mean y-you'll be w-w-wanting the c-c-clothes back?
>>37602942 POOR SOUL. HE WILL DIE KNOWING HE WAS NOT WELCOME. SHOULD HAVE ACTED SOONER>>37602980HIS DEBT IS NOW PAID. I HAVE NO MORE PURPOSE IN THIS PLACE.
>>37603006I will take that offer.I thank you very much for your business.
>>37603023I will work for you for five minutes in return for his soul
>>37602924,1>>37602940,1>blinks as he once more fully returns to the land of the livingWell, enough with direct confrontations, I need my books, a place to draw a circle and at least five recently dead bodies.>>37602814Vilhex, could you help me prepare a high level spiritual binding. Because this is frankly turning into a rather embarrassing business.
>>37602930>Spiritwrack>>37602939You're welcome.>>37603012And?>>37603017No keep em.>>37603023He isn't dead you know.
>>37603023*telepathic message to the guildsfolkjust let him leave he thinks he killed his target its over
can someone post the ghost thread link?
>>37602959dont worry, I missed several threads and got left off the roster>>37602980I remember the days when it was all "shoot-from-the-hip-ask-questions-later-no-time-for-that". Now we're stuck in pounds of bureaucratic red tape almost all the time....
>>37603007Noted. I'll make sure that you receive just punishment when you do so.>>37603023Alright then, please stop frightening the apprentices.
>>37603043I'll be right there.>>37603059https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37599794
>>37603043How'd it go?
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>37603044O-oh...okay...>Rolling to see how badly Roderick fails at coffee getting!
>>37603035it was a pleasure
>>37603065Yeah yeah.
>>37603082Ouch.
>>37603059it is already linked by lazarus somewhere, dont ghost post unless you have a connection to the shadow realm/realm of spirits/etc. or are in the archives
>>37603044And..and...and divination is lame. I prefer blasting.>>37603012>The dragon still sleepsDAAAAAAAAD!
>>37603023Nuh-uh-uh, You aren't running away again after it took me so long to find you, come along and come with me back to your nice bed.
>>37603082How?
>>37603043What happened?>>37603082You critfailed a fail, so crit success?>>37603102Your still a child you'll learn. Maybe.
>>37603082"wow that was as bad as me."
>>37603121>ballshot
>>37603121>>37603140*low orbit achieved*
>>37603082>Roderick goes off-screen for a few moments, then comes running back into the room screaming and crying, holding a mug of tentacles with broken reality trailing behind him."SOROOOOOS! I SCREWED UP! PLEASE DON'T HATE ME!"
>>37603140>Is an elf and there for has no balls
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37603106HARRIDAN! >Fires off a bolt of pure Far Realm energy
>>37603160Sucks to be you
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>37603166Enough! Bask in my glow!>Resplendant image
>>37603160>For some reason still collapse in pain>I don't even Even
Rolled 8 + 5 (1d20 + 5)>>37603166Enough.
>>37603160Noone... That's not actually typical of our species.You should get that looked at.
>wakes upWHO DARES TO DISTURB MY- OH ZIRCONIS. I WASN'T ASLEEP, I JUST RESTED MY EYES, SON.
Rolled 1 + 10 (1d20 + 10)>>37603166>Rolling for Anti-magic field around her.
>>37603158>BanishmentOk I fixed it now try again. Please avoid tentacles.>>37603166Won't work on her also>Greater Spiritwarck of unending torment.
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>37603166>Consign MagicThere is to be no casting of combat magic in the guildhall without explicit authorization, save in the case of an emergency!
>>37603198>Shush you
>>37603212TAKE COVER! DAMNIT LUPA THIS HAPPENS EVERY TIME.
>>37603212Oh gods damn it- *BOOM*
>>37603201Suuuure, anyways I have great news! I am now a full teacher at the Mage's Guild, draconic magic.
>>37603078Knew I could count on you.>>37603079About as well as last time I tried, as you say, he is a slippery one.>>37603117I completely failed to mind him three times, two of which completely destroyed my astral projection. I'm going to try something more physical for my next attempt. Drawn circle, recently dead bodies as components, the works. Any chance you could help me track him? I think he just buggered off.
>>37603242>Whops you on the nogginThat's totally not the most important news.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>37603216Th-thank you Mist-ehr...Soros...>He blushes, hanging is head in shame as he goes to try again at the coffee.
NO! YOU ALL BURN IN MY DOMA->Winks out of existence
>>37603201...He made the mistake of signing Antruthius's book...
>>37603249If only because you're technically still my boss.Somehow.We archiving this?
>>37603249You're not going to find him, he decides if he exists or not. I've tried, believe me. Whatever you do, don't take the dagger out of his face. It's rather similar to the one you recently used. I don't think we want an absolute dickhead probably out for revenge running around here with the kind of power Soros uses.
>Walks in after a bit the body of a little girl with blonde pig tails, pouting.Stupid Anti-magic field, I knew I shouldn't have installed the weaker one, but it was the only one I could fit it in...
>>37603187>Okay, come on get up you shit. stop crying, you're just making a fool of yourself.
>>37603304You look cute enough, what are you so upset about?
>>37603304Every time, I swear those lolimancers have left a lingering curse on this place. Here you are, dear.>Revert Form
>>37603304What in every last subdomain of hell? Why do you even have a body like that?
>>37603304Magic is a fickle mistress.
>>37603271Ouch! Oh yeah right. Sorry.>>37603242May I interduce this wonderful woman to you father? This is Vex she is part of my hoard, also she is pregnant with my child. You will become a grandpa soon! Aren't you proud?
>>37603249Sure I can try, and he's at 7 places at once. >>37603303Gee thanks.>>37603273It's alright.>>37603304We saved the corpse feel free to absorb it.
>>37603352Hey Soros!
>>37603352>Congrats! You have acquired a cup of coffee that is mediocre at best.
>>37603351Pleasure to meet you
>>37603329,1[I Speak and Death will kneel. Shadow Override: True Ressurection] *hits Dramorn's body with the spell*
>>37603352You know what I meant. And it's not seven, it just happened to be seven at the time you looked. It adapts to whomever tries to find him, Antruthius doesn't even bother with it anymore.
>>37603329I DON'T WANT CUTE! I WANT SEXY! IT TOOK ME 10 YEARS TO CRAFT THAT BODY TO EXACTLY THE WAY I WANTED IT, AND NOW IT'S GONE!>>37603343I lost all the other spares in the move...>>37603352ugh... I guess I can start with that and just replace all the broken parts... going to be a bitch to, but I guess it's better then nothing.>tries to drag it out but can't due to little girl strength.
>>37603371Uh excuse me, miss...
>>37603396What's up?
>>37603363*tosses gift back to Noone* Hello.>>37603368That'll do. Thank you.>>37603384Yeah yeah. I got him.*throw a ball and hit Pierre it bounces and hits a shadow*>>37603394>Titan's strengthThat should help.
>>37603394Give it time, you'll get sexy again.and now you can be doted on.>>37603379Why did you feel the need to let me know exactly?
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>37603394>Revert Form
>>37603351WONDERFUL NEWS SON! YOU BECOME MORE AND MORE LIKE A REAL DRAGON, IT'S SO HEARTWARMING TO SEE YOU GROW UP...I REMEMBER LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY WHEN YOU STILL WERE A LITTLE BOY..KIDS FROW UP SO FAST *sighs*>>37603371THE PLEASURE IS ON MY SIDE VEX. SO YOU ARE THE ONE WHO WILL CARRY OUT THE NEXT GENERATION OF HOUSE RED. THAT'S A GREAT HONOR! I WELCOME YOU TO THE FAMILY!
>>37603441You'll only make it worse if you keep up like that.
>>37603436quoting a ghost post, IC, James looked in your direction because thats where the ghost was in the shadow realm
>>37603441*Puts his goggles on, expecting the worse*
>>37603405Are we going to be waiting until you... [mumbles] ..or will we be running the death maze today?
>Eyes glowing>Knees weak>Arms heavy>Viscera on his shirt>Dramorn's internal spaghettiBlaaaarrgh
>>37603436But I haaaaaaaate time.>>37603441It doesn't work, this body has always been like this. There is nothing to revert.>>37603427>mutters to herself as she drags the body out.damn wizards and their magic spells. must be just sooo convenient for them.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>37603480Ah, dammit.>Dismiss Undead
>>37603480Quit being a drama queen.its a true resurrection not a zombie spell
>>37603488I'll cuddle you if that helps pass the time
>>37603427Ow, what the hell? That's not going to work. >>37603480Oh dear, not again.
>>37603394im taking a trip to acheron soon do you you want me to bring you back a few hundred orc and goblin corpses to work with
>>37603480..... Somebody please get your zombie under control and try to contain necromantic experiments to the nexcromancy department lest I decide to incinerate it.
>>37603427"THanks!"
>>37603303Ah, good to know.>>37603352Hmm... I could try capturing him from all 7 places. But it would probably be easier to just set a trap here in advance.Of course I don't think a trap would work very well on him, but it could be good for bait at least. He seems like he likes to gloat... and he is apparently he stopped by again... and he is gone. I need a way to make him stay still in one spot! >>37603384Conspierre, any ideas?
>>37603521>>37603480[Disrupt: Illusion]
>>37603488Look on the bright side, at least nobody will question you hanging around schools to search for test subjects like this.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>37603488Well at least that means I can claim it wasn't due to my own incompetence!>>37603503>>37603480Let me help, I'm a bit more experienced here.>Turn Undead
>>37603450I am truly honored, oh great and powerful Draconis.>>37603478I'm sorry. I just don't have it finished yet.I haven't managed to square away everything in it and who is going to help me. Was busier today than I expected, sorry. What day works best for everyone?
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>37603488I can teach you a few if you want.>>37603522She'd eat you.>>37603527I did hit him, if only a glancing hit.>>37603480>Paralyze undead>>37603549I tried
>>37603503>Begins to vomit necromantic energy>>37603521does no one else find it hilarious?Oh...okay
Night folks
>>37603593Night Mortimer.
>>37603549Considering he can only do minor annoyances right now, I think it's best we let him be. Unless you really want to pull the dagger out. Uh...Does anyone know if Soros worked with him on his quest for ultimate power?
>>37603576I can just give you my pack of undead wolves and if you think an apprentice takes too long you can have them show up behind them.
>>37603593Goodnight, Mortimer!
>>37603593Night Mort, have a good one. Have fun furniture shopping, that was a hell of a growth spurt.
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>37603592.... Fucking zombies seriously.*Casts fireball*
>>37603592nope
>>37603593Goodnight.
>>37603593Thank you for the coffee...
>>37603530Could you bring some elves while your at it? Preferable females as they have the best skin. In fact, just bring female orcs and goblins, it works a lot better if the gender for all the parts is the same.>>37603522If I was in my old body, I'd crush your balls for that suggestion.>>37603559But I get my test subjects from the bars! This makes it way harder!>>37603579I don't really have an affinity for spells... I can only really do alchemy...
D-does a-a-anyone else n-need anything?>Not used to being out of his room without a job.
>>37603593Farewell, Mortimer.
>>37603593Good night thank you for the good coffee.
>>37603640I'm a catgirl Lupa, I don't know how long it will take you fuckers to figure that out.
>>37603576 np man, I'm not very smart but if there is anything I can help with just ask
>>37603629>Darwin wrenches free from the metal armSKREEEE
>>37603642,1QUIET YOU DEAD BASTARD. Gods above, your voice grates on every fiber of my being!
>>37603654Go damn it... I forgot this body needs glasses. Another reason to hate it.
>>37603669That's rather rude, Pierre!
>>37603627Some one actually noticed. I am surprised
>>37603629>RoastsUhhhhrrrg
>>37603669Pardon?>>37603640I can teach you a few buff spells that aren't too tough.>>37603641Help Lupa take her old body back to her lab.
>>37603641>>37603655I'd hate to shoulder all of Mortimer's responsibilities on you alone. Jill, give your fellow rookie some help.And maybe some spiffy uniforms?>snaps fingers>POOF>Jill is dressed in a butler outfit>Roderick is dressed in a maid outfit.
>>37603682NOT YOU, MY DEAD MASTER KEEPS MOONING ME FROM BEHIND YOUR HEAD! Oh, now he's ghost fondling you. How classy. GO TO HELL YOU INCORPOREAL BASTARD!
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>37603604What I want to do is trap his soul in a skull and keep him as a trophy for what he claims he has done to me. Might even make it this skull.>points to the tip of his staff>>37603592>greater hold greater undead
>>37603576I HOPE MY SON TREATS YOU WELL. I KNOW HE CAN BE AN IDIOT SOMETIMES->Zirconis: Hey!-BUT HE IS MY ONLY SON. I LOVE HIM AND I HOPE YOU HAVE AN EYE ON HIM LIKE HE GOT HIS EYES ON YOU, WATCH OUT FOR EACH OTHER AND BRING GLORY TO MY HOUSE! DON'T DISSAPOINT ME YES? ALSO VISIT ME SOME TIME I'D LIKE TO PROPERLY HUG YOU AND MAYBE EAT SOME CAKE!
>>37603663*stares at the arm mimic* who's got a metal arm here?>>37603669Are the brain worms back my tin foiled friend.
>>37603703>mutters very quietly... I can't cast magic...
>>37603711uhhh um what do you need me to do Ms?
>>37603713Oh dear.>>37603712Would you like me to call a Cleric to perform an exorcism? I'd rather prefer I weren't being groped by spirits.
>>37603640i dont know where im going to find a large supply of evil elves im not going to go around killing innocent creatures would drow do although i feel there are others who could gather drow for you much more effectivelybut sure female orcs and goblins i can do
>>37603711Whoops! Sorry, I think I did that backwards.>>37603714That sounds delightful! Maybe I can come home with Zirconis tonight and tour your mountain after the archives?
>>37603713How do you outrank me, again?
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>37603684..... Its still standing.*Casts lightning bolt*
>>37603703>>37603711O-okay...th-this is l-l-like the thing M-Mistress had me w-w-wear...
>>37603749Oh there's no point. All he can do is cast minor spells and make faces these days.>>37603727NO THEY ARE NOT.>>37603703...For someone with true seeing you miss a lot of dead people. Or is that not how that works?
>>37603727>Looks at Dramorn's warforged left armSkreek
>>37603712>Aetheric graspDid I get him?>>37603713Really?>>37603736Yes you can just not very well at least in that body.
>>37603757I-I ah I er [mumbles]
>>37603787gurk-ack-let-me-gurk-go-ASSHOLE
>>37603779>>37603711Really?>>37603782My eyes were closed.
>>37603750ugh, then nevermind about the elves. I can't use drow skin. I need fair elf skin...>>37603757Hey Vex, you want to stop by my lab sometime?>>37603787No, I mean I've never been able to cast magic, no matter what body I'm in I just have no magical potential... GO AHEAD AND LAUGH, I DON'T CARE.
>>37603794>>37603779I'll probably doodle this, actually. Roderick, what do you look like?I'd like some tea, please. And make sure you get everyone else's refreshments, too.
>>37603812>Gasps
>>37603812>>37603782Still, it looks as though I'll need to invest in an aethernet guard. I prefer not to be molested by ghosts...
>>37603840oh please do
>>37603757OH YES THAT WOULD BE WONDER FULL!>Shouts at some KoboldsTUCKER! MAKE CAKE FOR ME, MY SON, AND THE MOTHER OF HIS UNBORN CHILD!>Stares at ZirconisBUT FIRST YOU HAVE TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM! IT'S A MESS, VEX IS A PROPER LADY SO TRY TO BECOME MORE ORDERLY!
>>37603838well if i kill any in my travels i will keep it for youand considering its one of the harder things to find for you i will get the males as well for the elves im sure you can find some use for them
>>37603782Maybe you should relax, your dead master is a bit of a douche but let him have his fun. He is easy to see.>>37603785*Stares* find some other arm to latch on too.>>37603817Nice catch.
>>37603817,1#Squueeek?
>>37603858GLAAACKHURH HELP
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>37603817Y-yeah...>>37603840About 12 years old, curly bleached-blonde hair with white eyes. He's had all the color scared out of him. Looks like a PTSD wracked Sephiroth in elementary school.O-okay...>Rolling for tea-getting!
>>37603838not able to cast magic thats odd anybody with enough intelligence should be able to learn are you sure you have not being trying to cast spells as a sorcerer
>>37603876HISSSS
>>37603880What do I do? what do I do?>frets over the choking Pierre
>>37603880Soros, please. Release the poor man.
>>37603812Weird it wasn't even aimed at you. Apologies.>>37603838I seem to remember you casting spells when we were younger, oh well.>>37603876>>37603879Meaning?>>37603890Want some more appropriate clothes kid?>>37603924Spell already ended.
>>37603838GLACK ACK STOP ACK SOROS>>37603914KICK SOROS ACK
>>37603890,1BARK!
>>37603912... I don't speak mimic try some english for once.
>>37603872Buuut Daaaad, you embarrass me in front of the others and worse in front of Vex, also my room is clean! I cleaned it like two weeks ago.
>>37603768Because I'm older, willing to take the job, and usually competent. I don't know what's going on right now, everything has been good until...>takes of the cone of shameThis thing is enchanted isn't it... Oh Antruthius, I should have known.>>37603750,1Oh you shut up Secretus, I'll get you eventually.>>37603787Yes, I will catch that slippery bastard and have the last laugh.
>>37603928>>37603880Spell is already done you drama queen!
>>37603928>>37603927>lightly taps Soros with her foot"Like that?"
>>37603936Ssssquuuee
>>37603903Yes I'm sure! I'm pretty sure the gods curse me so I can't cast actual spells, as some kind of cruel joke. Well I've shown those assholes! I've tons of magic despite not being able to cast spells!>>37603927The gods are assholes, like I just said.
>>37603927>prolonged gasping for airYou...prick...
>>37600600wait thats a thing we do
>>37603927I-it's f-f-fine...this is m-much comfier th-than what Mistress had me w-w-wear...>He proceeds to dispense Tea to Vex and whoever else wants a drink. At least, that's the plan until >>37603935 barks at him, making him drop the glass of tea and very nearly ruin Vex's robes.
>>37603958Oh, this is amusing.Sure sucks to be you right now.
>>37603840>[mumbles inaudibly at people]
>>37604008Please speak up dear, no one can hear you!>>37603990Apparently so.
>>37603970.... *Looks at mimic some more.* Damn things actually kinda cute
>>37603990if by that you mean post on moe, then yes, dont post there during a tread unless you have a connection to the shadow realm, spirits, etc https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37599794/#q37603736_1
>>37603999>Slithers over to tea, absorbs it through mimic skin.
>>37604026Would you like some tea.... or other refreshment...
>>37603967That tickles.>>37603972Retroactive loss?>>37603977Spell ended as soon as it touched you, it wasn't me.>>37603999>Calm person
>>37604035[spoilers]Or in pierre's case, unexplained voices in your head. Tinfoil lining in the hat picks up a lot.[/spoiler]>>37603977,1HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!>>37603972Maybe you just have extremely limited mana reserves, have you tried ritual magic?
>>37604057Do you have any vodka on you?
>>37604057Tea, strong, and make sure the powder is mixed with Haradlorn.
>>37604029>Purrs
>>37603863Little choppy, but I'm lazy right now>>37603999Ah– You alright?>>37604056Gluttonous cur!
>>37604035so the ethereal plane and the plane of shadow
>>37604083I-i-i'll go get some...>>37604094R-right away miss...
>>37604059Do you think there is something we could do to cure her lack of spell casting?
>>37603947NO "BUT DAAAAD". CLEAN YOUR ROOM. NOW. I COUNT TO 3...1...
>>37604059From what I understand, yeah.>>37604082yes, I've tried it. the only thing I can do is alchemy, which is what I use in my fleshwarping.>>37603999Hey! Stuttering Susan, get me a cup of hot cocoa with some marshmallows in it!
>>37604103 Beautiful!
>>37604103>Grows teethGRRRRRSKREEECH
>>37604122A few things I can try.>>37604142*hands her a green fizzling drink* Drink up.
>>37604000Yes very amusing, but it ends now, and Antruthius can say whatever he want about it. He should recognize that his prank has run out once I'm aware of it anyway.>incinerates the Hat of Greater ShamingWell then, time to do something useful.>>37604101Mimic, I've grown tired of your master's whining, stand over by those ashes so I can bring him back properly.>prepares a true resurrection
>>37604132...2...
>>37604157>Growls back at you
>>37604159>Eyes the drink suspiciouslyWhat's this?
>>37604056>>37604059>>37604103>He's about to question the random arm slurping up tea off the floor, but suddenly he feels really calm...Yes, I am...th-thanks for asking...>>37604149C-coming r-r-right up, sir!>Quickly, some hot cocoa with exactly seven marshmallows is acquired for the flesh-warper of questionable gender.
>>37604179>Chuffs>>37604170SQUEEEE!
>>37604119Lovely, thank you very much dear.>>37604103>tfw no scanner
>>37604119Jill, relax no one here bites. We just so happen to mostly be insane.>>37604101*Pets the mimic* Its definetly an interesting breed. An arm mimic only.
>>37604202[mumbles]
Alright guys, this time, when i revive Dramorn, please don't kill him again. *gathers up Dramorn's remains*
>>37604118or just in general planes coexistent with the material
>>37604188Something that might spark your magic back up.>>37604216>Clarity>>37604198Need a new uniform?
>>37604188It is green.>>37604198Tell me, Roderick. Have you ever kissed a girl?
>>37604198I'm pretty sure I look like a copper slug or nudibranch when I'm not an arm. With lil eyes
>>37604176,1I hear you my child. Our plot is almost complete. Wait, Dramorn. Uhh....ignore that.>>37604142Hmmm. You know, I've known some people who had great success creating contraptions to fire potions at things. Might help you out.
>>37604238[speaks to softy to hear]
>>37604226As long as he acts lawful, we'll have no need to.
>>37604249in which case i cant see it but i can certainly travel there if i see the need
>>37604170>Slides over to ashesSkrak!
>>37604176,1I have been hearing you all along, I've just ignored you. But frankly it's getting on my nerves by now.>>37604200Good, now let's do this.>gather's up the arm, mimic and ashes and casts the resurrection spell
>>37604231the shadow realm is what we have been using for when people ghost post
>>37604176AND THE LAST NUMBER IS....
>>37604238I-if y-y-you want M-...Soros...>>37604239>Roderick goes beet red at this.N-n-n-n-n-n-...>He can't seem to say it, so he just turns and scampers away.
>>37604216Don't worry I'm more stable than most. Today at least.>>37604231Planes of existence are odd tuypo
>>37604310ok got it thanks
>>37604322Wonderful!>>37604256Jill, come here a moment. This is important.
>>37604291DHSUSBDHZOALNBXUXIS>Pukes fire.Oh gods above do I hate death...
>>37604339>approaches
>>37604325oh im well aware of that its my job to know about them
>>37604322*Looks at roderick and makes his eyes flare bright ice blue* Roderick calm yourself or you will never make it as an eldritch knight.
>>37604356Welcome back. Please ignore what I said earlier. The world is not yet ready.
>>37604198about time.>Sips it, her mad little face relaxes a bit, so now she just looks annoyed,>>37604238I don't know... this isn't going to hurt is it? Because this body doesn't have modified pain receptors.>>37604250Oh, I can chuck potions just fine. I just prefer to use fleshwarping instead. I just like the idea that the bitchy Fleshwarper who acts like she's the hottest thing ever can't cast spells and is super insecure about it.
>>37604339Vex, what have I told you about trying to hook up apprentices without their knowing?
>>37604360I spend far too much time off of the material. Its beginning to have odd effects on my soul. I am becoming much less human than before. Any idea why this is?
>>37604322Uhg... That's a road best not walked down bud...>>37604378Bleh...what?
>>37604359You've got pinball down fairly well, but I need to get you started on learning some good old fashioned witchcraft.There are a few ways to christen yourself a witch, but the easiest is to steal someone's first kiss. Roderick is a prime candidate.
>>37604286>>37604336you could go there relatively easily, James links the two planes together rather strongly, enough so that the guild's archive room has partially crossed over into the shadow realm from all the time he spends browsing through them
>>37604256You ok?>>37604322*new Male uniform appears*>>37604356Most do.>>37604383Yes It'll hurt like fighting me as the World Eater.
>>37604384It's probably just her hormones.Come to think of it, if she's already that far along after just getting pregnant last night, when is she going to give birth?
>>37604356You're welcome, now don't make dying a habit, I speak from experience when saying it's not a fun road to walk down.
>>37604401that may just be the demonology you are performing although if your spending a lot of time in bytopia you will end up a gnome but i doubt its that
>>37604421... No thanks, I think I'm good at the moment.
>>37604421Th-thank you...>He takes the uniform and swiftly heads off to another nearby room...
>>37604406Oh good. Forget I said anything.>>37604383Suit yourself, I found a magic crossbow a while back and I just love the thing.Fair enough, lupa's probably one of my favorite characters here
>>37604436Don't worry, the dragons are on their way.
>>37604437*Looks at lazarus* I swear your track record, maybe stop pissing off the locals eh?
>>37604410how do I do that?>>37604421>nods
Okay....phew...So first off thanks to all those who got rid of that ass of a godling. Second. What the fuck?! No assist?! Really?!
>>37604455No I spend a lot of time in the hells. Millenia at a time in the hells before coming back here.
>>37604417its interesting that the ghosts are ending up on the plane of shadow rather then the ethereal though but oh well the transitive planes must be a bit funny in this setting
>>37604465Easy. You place your lips on his lips and smooch him!Then you'll obtain your very own Witching Dice! (1d111)
>>37604456Fair enough *drinks it* >>37604458You're welcome>>37604459Agreed>>37604465Shy?>>37604498*facepalm*
>>37604312Finefinefinefine, I will go home and tidy up.>Draconis: WORKS EVERY TIME.Hey Guys I'm going home. See you later.>>37604410I'm going home, my dearest treasure. Preparing everything for your visit. Be careful with our child yes?>lays his hand softly on Vex' belly thengives her a kiss on the forehead and wents outsideSee you later.Guys I'm going to sleep now. See you in the archive [sp
>>37604490oh yeah your going to get a few changes from that for sure
>>37604475I thought you had it! Besides, everyone was slightly preoccupied with the spontaneous pregnancy.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>37604498>rolling to resist dying from embarrassment >>37604516>Nods
>>37604517>blushesI'll travel there after the archives, then. Make sure I get an extravagant entrance!
>>37604498,1DON'T LISTEN TO HIM.
>>37604517So what the hell happened with you two?
>>37604518Such as demonizing?
>>37604542The two had a fade to black in the archives last night.The ghost whose casket they did it on gave them a fertility curse for... some reason.
>>37604558yeah possibly truth is i never spend much time in 1 plane so i dont really know much about long term effects i will do some research into it
>>37604577BECAUSE HE'S A RIGHT PRICK THATS WHY
>>37604524Look I know you failed the saving throw but you can't die of embarrassment. Now go do what your teacher says!
>>37604558Gods...what a day.So I don't think we've met. Who are you?
>>37604540Pierre please, if you must argue with relatives do so in an appropriate voice!>>37604524Don't do anything you don't feel into, dear. We've got codes that prevent forced ships.
Ooof. I'm exhausted. Didn't even know there was a meeting.>>37604524...a pinball witch? That's a new one...
>>37604524Go get him, girl!>>37604540Pierre, Pierre! Secretus isn't here! You're having a nightmare.>>37604542We're having a love child. How are you doing in the FRIENDZONE, anyway?
>>37604577see, THAT is why I never go to the archives. I can't stand those ghosts...
>>37604609Not you damnit! IGNORE ANY AND ALL VOICES IN YOUR HEADS!
>>37604600Ah, right, that was it.The ghost was a prick.speaking of archives, is this going n sup/tg/?>>37604619You think that's weird? Zirconis got Vex pregnant.
>>37604464Oh those deaths aren't so bad, and far less common than people make it sound like. But when death gets cheap people don't hesitate as much before deciding killing you is an option.>>37604540Hmm? >>37604498,1Ah, well if you are interested I'm probably the only one who would be even remotely likely to help you out Secretus. To bad, that I rather try THIS!>activates the binding circle
Rolled 14 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>37604634>Aura of Silence
>>37604491James' presence is fucking shit up on a planar level. The longer he stays in an area, the worse it will get. Valendale is almost completely immersed in the shadow realm, to the point where most people that are born there can shadow walk to teleport with no experience with magic
>>37604630You know nothing, thief of magic!
>>37604491really though what is the reason for that does the plane of shadow here work differently to a traditional d&d setting?
>>37604619>Waves at Samantha, while still in her blonde little girl body.Hey Sam...
>>37604630A-A-ARE YOU NUTS! >Blushes and continues in a lower voiceI can't kiss him, he's just a kid!>>37604619Wizard....
>>37604606I am Bastun, Head of Demonology, Pact bearer of Levistus the cold. My mask allows me to see the weave of all magics of all types. I deal in pacts and wordings and earn my fellow mages and my self more power through dealings with devils and demons of all kinds. I have the second lowest fatality rate with my apprentices proudly enough.
>>37604524Going to be ok?>>37604542They had sex areggers.>>37604619Yup.>>37604631Scared?>>37604671Pierre relax.
>>37604577Heh. Knew she had a things for dragons. Looks like it's just a matter how close to a real dragon she can get.>>37604630You made it quite clear you weren't interested. What do you take me for, a child? I'm happy for you! Besides it was truth be told a childish infatuation.What are you going to name the kid?
>>37604670ah i see
>>37604683all things considered, this setting has very little in common with d&d, that and pretty much anything goes
>>37604663You know, I know that feeling. Its nice to never be able to die. Its just painful regenerating whats lost.
>>37604619Hullo Sam, please ignore any intrusive thoughts or phantom voices. Do not remove any daggers from the faces of corpses in the archives.
I've gotta hit the sack, see you all later
>>37604726i do know 2 spells that could make him a dragon if he wantedthey take a long time though
>>37604650That's biology. I'm a geomancer, I don't do biology.Steel on the other hand, I can work with. Never thought about trying something like that though.>>37604703...that's fairly disturbing.>>37604711Ah, my mistake - just seemed odd to be a witch and a wizard at the same time.
>>37604619Hey, Sam, did you want to take part in the Apprentice Deathmaze when I finish it? You get a pass because you're Noel's personal minion, but you can join if you want to.>>37604711Now's a good opportunity for you to turn him into a Manâ„¢. And become a witch. Everybody wins.>>37604726Well, I was hoping you had some good dragony names for us.
>>37604793Blame Vex, the Vile and Wicked Witch who stole Zirconis' magic! And made a baby out of it! That she ate!
>>37604760yeah your right pretty much the only solidified thing is the outer and inner planes everything else is just made up stillalso the difrence between a wizard and a sorcerer
>>37604793Her old body got broken so she's using a new one.>>37604809*whaps Vex with a newspaper* Bad Vex.>>37604822You need to learn biology my friend.
>>37604822Pierre, I swear I haven't eaten any babies this month!
>>37604809You ought to name it Zirilan if it's a male. A strong name, that of a great chieftain of the deserts.If she's female, Sanexa is a fine name this year.
>>37604722N-no! We've been over this before! I ain't afraid of no g-g-g-g-ghost.>>37604793Yeah, well it's not like I want to be in this body. My other one got destroyed by a long lost pet of mine that seems to have forgotten his place. Next time I see him, I'm just going to put him down like the other ones that forget.
>>37604809>>37604711>It is worth noting that Roderick is changing out of girl clothes in the next room over. Just how much does being a witch matter to you?
>>37604822My sides!>>37604809But he's 12....
>>37604850YOU'VE GOT ONE IN YOUR STOMACH NOW>>37604846The hell is that?>>37604858Everyone's afraid of something, no need to be sensitive about it.
>>37604650i suppose it will i will i am not so good with what tags to use though so i will only put it up if nobody else does plus my grammer and spelling might scare away people searching the archives if i upload the description
>>37604858Sure *phantasm shift* BOO!>>37604884Study of living organisms.
>>3760466337604671,1Now we are finally getting somewhere.>>37604739,1>smilesYou can hide all you want Secretus, I got all the time in the world to spend looking for you. And when I finally catch up, you won't be running or hiding anymore.
>>37604846What did I do?
>>37604898Trying to promote Pedophilia. *eye is twitching*
>>37604760I think I'm the most D&D thing her >>37604809I have fought gods and mortal men, seen cities rise and fall, destroyed whole planes of existence (mostly by accident) and this is by far the most exciting thing that's ever happened to me. And I'm glad you asked! My family has a long tradition of proud draconic names! Male or female?>>37604713Well nice to meet you. I'm Dramorn. Haver of robot arm and thrower of elemental spells and swinger of swords.
>>37604850This month vex? What about last month?
>>37604892AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!>hides behind Vex, trembling and sniffing.
>>37604917Spell slinging is all good and well, but do you balance out with good ritual magic.
>>37604916please we pump the food around here so full of hormons kids are probably fully sexualy mature by 12 nowdays
>>37604937AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWHYAREWESCREAMINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>37604895Have you considered that may be because he won't need to? I flat out got lucky. I'd rather deal with the world-eater again than him.>>37604937...Don't take any potions of spirit sight ever again, you won't like it at all.
>>37604784That's...rather specific. I've not heard any such things but I'll keep it in mind.>>37604846>>37604858I thought you just changed...but if... then...gah, whatever.>>37604872sorry I'm late, but why are you needing to suck the life out of a male apprentice? Some arcane pinball ritual?
>>37604937God damn, what the hell is your deal with the spooks?
>>37604937And here I thought the transformation only dematured your body, not your mind!
>>37604872You're being ridiculous. Here, I'll just temporarily make you 12 years old, too.>POOF!
>>37604964My rituals consist of charming insults and martial skullduggery
>>37604993its going to be the clothing débâcle all over againwow acording to spellcheck there are a lot of fancy characters in that word
>>37604977>>37604982S-S-S-SHUT UP!>>37604993Veeeeeeex, they're being mean to me...
>>37604993VEX! We have strictures about transformative magic!
>>37604993I can't understand the thought processes that must go through your head.
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>37604917Feels like a...>1 is male>2 is female
I swear, I step out for a smoke and by the time I come back I have no idea what's going on anymore.
>>37604976Extremely specific. For good reason.
>>37605013*Starts ritual casting a fireball targeting a fiefdom a few thousand miles away*
Rolled 14 (1d20)>>37604976I don->>37604993AAAAAAH!>blushes and pulls up pants>rolling to resist dying from embarrassment
>>37604993What about Zerdagon? I knew a great crimson wyrm with that name once.
>>37604937*laughs*Was funny as a kid, was funny a hundred years ago, is still funny now. You're awfully cute doing that Lupa. Thanks I neede->>37604965What did you say and advocate? *Tentacle warps around Tuypo's neck*>>37604976Yes it's complicated.>>37604993VEX! >>37605066>polymorph otherBack you go!
>>37605042I still suggest Zirilan, then. A good, honorable name.>>37605056Business as usual, really. We're thinking of baby names and Lupa is casting dematuration spells everywhere.
>>37605042Feels like a boy witchdragon. Warlockdragon?>>37605030You're missing out. I'm pretty sure it's the most amazing thing ever.>>37605026I misinterpreted the rules.>>37605021Now now, come here. Mommy Vex will make it all better.
>>37605026transformative magic is fun*casts elemental form water and drenches niamal
>>37605064*throws a piece of rune covered paper at you, causing the ritual to fail* Please don't kill civilians to show off.
>>37605066Oh wow this is actually one of the most adorable things I've seen in a while. sorry you still can't die from embarrassment though.
>>37605066See, you've got a stronger heart than you realize. Go smooch a squire!
>>37605119Its actually a fiefdom I established as a cover, as a favor to a pitfiend I owed. I was more just teaching him the importance of knowing some.
>>37605077gack i was not advocating anything just gasp saying that agriculture department has been doing a lot of work with hormons in recent years
>>37605082And here I thought I'd accidentally mixed in some stronger stuff with the pipe-weed. Though i suppose I could still be hallucinating for one reason or another. Though if I AM hallucinating, I'm nut sure why I'd be asking you about it.
>>37605108>NullifyHonestly, tuypo. Behave. And breaking the law is NEVER fun!>>37605093Change them back, Vex. Once you have their consent, then we'll see about you doing that again.
>>37605153C-Can you at least fix my clothes!
>>37605170And the most delicious part is that she can only turn back if she kisses an Eldritch Knight! Or nearest equivalent.
>>37605108*soaks out of niamals body and transforms back
>>37605167*tightens grip* Didn't sound like it to me.>Baleful Polymorph*
>>37605064Neat. I prefer fun over overt skill though.>>37605042Oh! Oh! Hyperious!Teriex!Siligax!Dormagak!And my personal favorite: Glaive.
>>37605197Spellswords count?
>>37605082I AM NOT. YOU KNOW I CAN'T CAST SPELLS, STOP PICKING ON ME!>>37605093>cries a bit and clings to Vex like a small lost child. I like to think that while Lupa did link up her soul and all into this body, that she never quite got around to messing with the brain chemicals, which is why she is being so moody now.
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>37605170Oh, my nametag!>>37605197That sounds exactly like the sort of thing a Witch would do. Regardless, there are few spells so strong that a good Erasure can't clear them!
>>37605213Probably. You're all the same class anyway.
>>37605201*plane shifts the fuck out of here
>>37605197How's about a magus? I used to go by spellsword, but Magus sound more professional
>>37605203Skill is my wine of life.>>37605227*Hitches a ride with tuypo*
>>37605217There there. Everything will be okay.>Consoles you with familial warmth.>>37605195>shrugWell, Roderick's maid outfit should fit you now. Why don't you run along to the other room and get it form him?
>>37605066Yeah. Things get a bit chaotic. One of the reasons why my first paycheck went towards picking up one of these.>hands Jill a silver charm bracelet>>37605195Gotcha covered. *Mending*>>37605197...I'm sure I don't want to hear the answer to this, but WHY?
>>37605259damit i was not expecting that im not where i meant to end up after that unexpected hitchhikeroh well easy fixed come on bastun hop on we are off to the astral realm
>>37605197That's... oddly specific.
>>37605217*Walks over to Lupa* You ok? You didn't finish tinkering with this one did you? Soros has a soft spot for kids, Only reason Vex isn't being in serious pain right now is cause she's pregnant.>>37605294*planar Anchor* Going somewhere?
>>37605275>shuffles off to the room Rod went into>>37605286T-thanks...It's pretty.
>>37605275>>37605203 Unless you would prefer to stray from the chromatic spectrum, specifically the reds.
>>37605294Sounds like a ride. I don't wanna be around when that baleful polymorph ends *grabs on* which part?
>>37605301fuck how did you manage to anchor me after i already left the area
>>37605217Hello there, need any help?
>>37605217Aww, poor thing. You want a->>37605240,1Oh no. Lazarus? LAZARUS?!? JAMES?
>>37605317>He suddenly turns around and covers his stuff with the skirt, blushing brightly and trying to scurry behind the wardrobe while simultaneously remaining rooted in place.
>>37605335Minor Chronomantic metamagic.
>>37605343Huh?
>>37605301*Sniff* ...No, this was my last resort body, so I didn't really put a lot of work into it... So right now my brain is flooded with a ton of hormones and stuff that I usually don't have to deal with... *Sniff* this sucks...>>37605337Go away, kitty, I don't want your help today.
>>37605333well right now stuck in the astral im not sure how he managed to anchor me from afar
>>37605347[speaks to softly to be heard]
>>37605301So I guess you were hoisted by your own petard, then?>>37605325I'd have to assume we'll be making a red baby.
God damn it, I've been waiting for this since newyears and now I'm nearly four hours late.Hello everyone, how is today's meeting progressing?
>>37605335*Looks at tuypo* How fucked are we right now?>>37605354We were trying to
>>37605384[Mutters something that might be a reply]
>>37605380oh well we are in my domain now if he wants to fight he will have a hell of a time no matter how strong he is i live here i advantages here
>>37605380,1*James waves his hand slightly*
>>37605343>looks very pale>>37605372The archives are full of phantasmal killers.
>>37605398Marus! It's been a while. How are you?
>>37605317Being pretty is nice, but being useful is why it's worth having. The charms really come in handy for all the chaos around here.>>37605337Please Quin, don't get involved. This is already ending poorly, I don't want to know how much worse it could get.
>>37605377I'm Sorry shouldn't have sacred you like that. *ruffles hair*>>37605387Yeah he still thought of Lupa as Lupa, not as a kid til she acted like one. Hit him in the feels.>>37605405*rips him out of plane* Too bad about the flimsy walls huh? Now where was I?>>37605402Trying to what?
>>37605398 hey man, most of our threads have been getting banned, someone smarter can explain it better but long story short head to https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37599794/ when this is over
>>37605398Manus you magnificent feathery bastard!Look at your handiwork!>Points at left arm
>>37605402here follow this portal it will take you to my home you will be safe there my family will look after youim going to stay here and prepare for battle
>>37605372NOT YOU DAMNIT WHERE ARE THEY>>37605416Oh thank everything. I can barely manage that spell once a week and he just tosses them out like candy. He's a first age wizard, what the hells were you thinking?>>37605408Oh good.
>>37605404[confusedly mumbles something]
>>37605437lawmagus soros is assaulting me and i prepared only portals today i have nothing but portals and at will plane shift to protect me
>>37605420Vex! I've been alright, hasn't been a meeting in ages though, how have you been?>>37605445Yes?
>>37605387Glaive. The strongest person and the greatest dragon I've ever known.
>>37605446I kinda want a magic brawl, it sounds fun, plus I think I can handle ritual magic support so two vs one sounds fun.
>>37605464[opts for the rare half-mutter half-mumbling, moving the skirt he's holding in front of him...they may be stuck in a loop]
>>37605437*Sniff* It's okay... I wasn't that scared...>>37605398>Waves at Marus, in the body of a small blonde girl.Hi Marus...
>>37605495Lupa!... How did that happen?
>>37605377First you won't give me help and now you won't accept it. You really don't like me do you?>>37605424Well I'm bored. I've been sitting in that corner watching everything for a while, figured I'd get up and lend a hand, heh, or paw as I guess it is.Everything has been going well lately I hope?
>>37605490>raises her voice slightlyWhat are you saying?
>>37605480*flicks Tuypo's forehead* Pedophilia is not ok! *on his way out collapses plane*>>37605495Still I apologize.>>37605512Her old body got blown up.
>>37605489trust me you dont want to get involved every now and again soros decides im a pedophile and tries to kill me he seems able to draw on incredible amounts of power at these times
>>37605540And at pretty much any other time for that matter.
>>37605487It's the mimi- oh hell. Darwin little buddy do your thing. >Darwin unfurls forming eyes and teeth all over before changing back.
>>37605524>So does he."I-I'm going to f-f-finish changing...">Then he turns around and, still naked, grabs the outfit Soros gave him, and starts putting it on.
>>37605536ok now thats just silly you cant just collapse the whole astral plane
>>37605454I was thinking what I'm still thinking; that this is the best challenge I've had in years. In decades even, possibly centuries.
>>37605560yeah but he is usually pretty placid other times
>>37605487Pregnant
>>37605512Some long lost pet came and forgot it's place and killed my other body. And I lost all my other back up bodies in the move so this is all I had left...>>37605523It's more like I know better than to accept your help.
>>37605540*looks around* I see enough elemental magic in the room. I draw energy from the elements and it augments my magical power, so I think I will live.
>>37605567c-can you ppass me your old clothes? my don't r-really fit me any more...
>>37605568Just the pocket of it you were in.
>>37605588I still don't even know if he's the one that made soros fall into the seed of chaos! He is an extremely dangerous man! Ghost! Thing!
>>37605603You want to see some elemental magic comrade?
>>37605603oh shit i better go pick you up*dashes in and grabs bastun then returns
>>37605565Well that's interesting. When did that start happening?Around the time you named it I take it?>>37605598Pregnant? What? Who? What? When?>>37605599I can grow you a new one if you would like, I backed everyone up a while back.
>>37605610the astral plane does not work like that
>>37605636Zirconis. In the Broom Closet. With the Lead Pipe.
>>37605626*Looks at him* sure just know that I am effected by elemental magic adversly
>>37605609>Roderick looks back, and then nods...Th-they don't have underwear...don't kn-know why...sorry...>He passes her the outfit, shoes and all, and puts on his own...then he looks at the list Soros gave him...I should p-p-probably go and g-get these sup-p-pplies Soros w-wanted.
>>37605523Not really. There have been a few...setbacks with the magical girl stuff.I, uh...might have, you know, accidentally overloaded one and it kinda exploded, but not. It's hard to explain.
>>37605658Lead pipe? Wouldn't that you know.. Hurt?
>>37605636He does it on command. He's like parrot. A shapeshitting parrot.
