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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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What are these apprentices running from? They're not! They're running to- the world's toughest competition in town.

We at the most glorious Mages' Guild have constructed a magical obstacle course of magical death and dismemberment for our apprentice wizards and sorcerers, to test their mettle, and maybe purge the population a bit. Will they survive the challenge and live to master the arcane arts? Or will they fail hilariously?

To find out, you will be controlling your own apprentice through six deadly obstacles, relying on luck, skill, and ingenuity to see your character through to the end.

All obstacles use 1d4 to see if you succeed or get eliminated. 1 means you die, 2 means you scrape by with an injury, 3 means you just succeed, and 4 means you pass victoriously.

To begin, come up with a name and a basic identity for your apprentice. Then, pick 2 of these 5 stats – when competing in a challenge that uses a stat you chose, you get +1 to your dice roll. The stats are:
• Strength: for challenges of lifting items or suspending yourself.
• Platforming: for challenges of jumping across platforms and through obstacles.
• Resistance: for challenges where we throw things at you.
• Balance: for challenges where you need to maintain your balance. Obviously.
• Perception: for challenges where you have to direct yourself or see through illusions.

Additionally, as prospective mages, you can try to outwit the challenges by casting spells. However, regardless of the spell you cast, you have to roll a 1d2 – a 50% chance of it working in your favor, and a 50% change of it leading directly to your elimination.

There will be danger, action, and a lot of dead bodies. Will you survive? Or will you get eliminated?
>>
>>37682566
Seems a bit lethal don't you think? ehhh they will be fine its just the apprentices.
>>
>Waits by the starting line
Platforming and balance!
>>
Swaggers to the start line, confident in his strength and resistance
>>
ATTENTION ALL APPRENTICES! Don't forget to grab your complimentary non-descript red robe.

>>37682656
Sssssh, don't tip them off, this will be the high point of my week, NOTHING could keep me from enjoying this.
>grabs a box of popcorn
Not even my apprentice bringing bad news. That can wait until later when I raise his body and ask what was so important he had to interrupt me.
>>
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The first challenge will be
>Skipping Stones

Apprentices will jump across the scattered rocks of this pond. Some are real and can support a person's weight. Others are fake, and will have you slipping right into the water.

What monsters are swimming in it? How corrosive is it? What watery doom awaits? Roll 1d4 and find out.
Apprentices with Platforming roll 1d4+1
>>
>>37682744
K:Good afternoon, sir, I hope you enjoy today's competition
B: Shut it nerd! We gotta get ready! We'll talk to you later teacher dude!
Strength and Resistance. What happened to intelligence?
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37682566
>Walks to the challenge with eyes quickly moving and hands twitching slightly.

Perception and Platforming.


>>37682796
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

Strength & Platforming
>shakes in fear in his red robe
Welp, I'm dead.
>>37682796
>runs right over at full speed
AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
>>37682744
*Stares at the popcorn* damn being dead. *laughs* has its advantages though
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37682796
>>
>>37682811
I dropped it because I didn't want to do any trivia challenges. Since we've been so freeform with worldbuilding and have been making up magic lore on the fly, I figured actual knowledge would be tricky to work into the challenges. I'm too lazy to come up with mental challenges, you know?
>>
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Should be a hilarious break from the recent moping about everyone is doing.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37682796
K:this is insane!
B: WOOOOOO!
>>
>>37682879
*Laughs* so are you a real paladin or not cat? Also it seems the cunning people are slipping through fine.
>>
>>37682811
Oh I will, good luck out there you two.
>>37682826
Now that's an apprentice worth paying attention to, perfectly timed jumps every time. Unlike some others I could mention.
>>37682833
I expected nothing more from my apprentice, look at him, no style whatsoever.
>>
>>37682826
Dirk, one of the necromancy apprentices, bolts across the pond with the greatest of ease! Hitting ever solid stone without effort, and he's right across the finish line for challenge 1.

>>37682833
Here's another necromancy apprentice, running atop the stones. Whoops, almost fell into the perilous depths there, but he kept his balance, and right on the other side of the pond. Nicely done.

>>37682864
Here's Jill, a pinball witch. Still not sure what that means. A little cautious, taking her time with each stone, but she finds the right ones, and survives the first challenge!
>>
>>37682907
I'm a paladin, I just don't conform to what passes for normality in paladins in this land.
In my land I'm a pretty normal paladin. Instead of explain this over and over I just drew a question mark on my nametag.
>>
Oh man I hope fabulous Esteban makes it
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37682796
Hank hastens back to the track, having to unfortunately use the bathroom
>>
>>37682953
*Stares* your normal in your land?
>>
>>37682968
*Winces as Hank dies by cracked chestnuts*
>>
>>37682968
And thus ended hank the muscle apprentice. ah well
>>
>>37683016
Eh, I'm sure there will be another one.
>>
>>37682968
Ooo– looks like our first elimination there. Hank, an apprentice Muscle Wizard, trips over a fake stone, and right into the arms of a maneating krakenmaid.

Ah, those bones cracking in her maw are just grisly.

>>37682890
Off to a good start from our two-headed veterans, but oh! They trip up right at the opposite bank. Ooo, looks like they lost a lake in the acid-end of the pond. We'll have to give them a peg-leg for the next challenge.
>>
>>37683056
Don't you mean leg sir?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37682796
(Perception, Resistance)
Putting away the stick of butter that was laying next to hanks shoes, he runs for the stepping stones
>>
>>37683086
Correct you are, Dirk. Afraid all the hype is ruining my train of thought.

Indeed, Krogrr and Brogrr will have plenty of time to lose an actual lake in the next challenge.
>>
>>37683056
K: AAAHH-
B: Quit being a pussy, we got a peg leg!
>>
>>37683111
Here's Broggy, back from whatever he was up to ofscreen.

Excellently done, by the apprentice! Right across the pond, hitting only the right stones, and on to the next challenge.
>>
>>37683111
*Whistles* Nicely done!

>>37683146
Provided you two live through this you might want to see the necromancy department about growing a new leg for you.
>>
>>37682890
Don't get too overexcited Brogrr, or else you will... trip.
>>37682968
OOOOOH, looks like we have our first elimination. Anyone in charge of this apprentice? If you do have an apprentice down there, remember to take care of their body should they fall or it will go straight to the Necromancy Department.
>>37683126
So what do you think of this lineup? We have already lost one of the prominent apprentices in the race. But we have also seen some strong performance from others, this Dirk seems born to do this.
>>37683111
Oh, would you look at that, another natural.
>>
>>37683111
B: Yo! Whats happening Broggy?
>>
>>37683180
I admit, I'm growing prouder of our apprentices every second. Their teachers should be impressed.

Of course, we've got more coming right up.
>>
>>37683206
Absolutely.nothing! Definitely should stay away from evocation for a while though...Nice leg
>>
I still maintain this is a waste of time and resources.
>>
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Games are great fun. Who wins? Who dies? Who is just maimed? Only time will tell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37683234
what's up sleepy butt?

>>37683253
..............
>>
>>37683180
Thank you for the compliment sir. Do you have a personal apprentice if I may ask?

>>37683232
We both are rather quick on our feet. What school are you apprenticed in?

>>37683234
Ma'am we normal apprentices who have no patronage or department heads already teaching us need this opportunity to catch the eye of someone so we can actually finish school. I know you don't care, but please think of the apprentices.
>>
>>37683301
I'm in open studies currently. Focusing on getting the fundamentals before I specialize.
>>
>>37683174
I have already made time for them should they need it.
>>37683234
And I say they are resources well spent, the Necromancy Department is providing most of the funds for this.
>hands Noel a box of popcorn
So sit down and enjoy.
>>37683301
Yes I do have a bumbling idiot of an apprentice, he is over there. (>>37682833)
>>
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now we have enough contestants to begin the second challenge:
>The Perilous Deathmaze of Deadly Peril!

Apprentices will roll 1d4 to see what direction they go in. higher rolls will put you closer to the end of the maze. Lower rolls will have you wandering indefinitely. To make things a little more exciting, the maze is filled with various nasties, monsters, beasts, and illusions to hunt you down and eliminate you.
Apprentices with Perception roll 1d4+1 every time. And remember, roll 1d2 if you ever try to cast a spell.
>>
Sorry I'm a bit late, had some errands.

>>37683301
You don't want to be his apprentice. Trust me, I work for him. You don't want to.
>>
>>37683330
On a diet. Trying to anyway.
>>
>>37682998
Mmm. Maybe not NORMAL but i'm certainly more normal there than I seem here.
>>
>>37683337
Resistance and Balance unless you call my disguise and stop me from entering. I'm fine either way.
It is I, Bradley Quin, apprentice... eh... mater reality warper, yes. I'm here for the race.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37683301
>Runs in with her hand on the left wall
>>
>>37683253
Seriously, why do you even bother stopping time at times?
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37683330
Oh well then maybe one of the other professors will take me on after this.

>>37683346
You're just scared.

>>37683337
*starts running through the maze*

>>37683387
Hello!
>>
>>37683234
Hello Noel, Seems you missed quite a bit of drama. And someone was looking for you maybe?
>>
>>37683282
>Paradox head turns mechanicaly
Tick-tock, tick -tock. The elf seems confused. I ask myself what could it be? Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37683369
Makes sense. I can honestly see it.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37683337
>takes a deep breath
I'm still alive, I can do this...
>runs in at full speed
>>
>>37683346
Oh, apologies, it seems I forgot my nametag.

Terribly sorry.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37683337
K:Oh I have an Idea. we'll be like Theseus!
B: Or we could just punch our way through....
K:No trust me, this will work perfectly!
>Casting spell after this if they don't die
>>
>>37683378
We have a familiar apprentice, though the name doesn't ring any bells. We'll see how this oddly-proportioned gentleman? can get through the skipping stones.

I'm perfectly fine with this

>>37683387
And Jill make a huge advance through the maze. I don't know if it's simple luck or excellent foresight, but she's almost halfway through the maze already.
>>
>>37683426
I say! Watch out for that*winces* ouch.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37683337
Brogfy runs through the maze, hoping his keen eyes can spot the spooks
>>
>>37683439
>Takes a wrong turn into the maul of a ravenous tunnel
>Ravenous tunnel is now drunk
>>
>>37683451
... Theres a... never mind you found the wolf.
>>
>>37683411
So what did I miss and who or what wants me for something today?
>>
who ever wins gets 25 pounds of my coffee
>>
>>37683477
Secretus let out by Vex, And Drama that entails. Mostly. I don't remember who was looking for you, Maybe they will show up later. But really this is the time for laughing at apprentices dying horribly, Not worrying about things.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37683474
Spellcasting get: an illusory wall in between myself and the wolf
>>
>>37683479
.........
>>37683442
Hey! Is it too late to join in?
>>
>>37683477
You missed me dying. Uhhhh I used you as an example for jill of escaping from captors. and aparently vex was captured?
>>
>>37683395
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I don't need to. But I have to protect time at times, while watching it for thew 106th time. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37683442
Excellent.
>>37683378
This maze is no match for me.
>takes out a crude drawing of a maze
Hmm... now what did that mark mean now again...
>>
>>37683404
Dirk gets caught up at the first crossroad, but certainly managed to find the right path soon. He's managed to avoid any problems so far.

>>37683426
Running so fast he might not notice he's going in circles, the apprentice needs to find the right path soon or he'll quickly run into those undead wolves, courtesy of the Necromancy department.

>>37683439
>>37683469
Uh, oh, Krogrr and Brogrr have run into a ravenous tunnel! How will they get out of this?

>>37683451
Broggy seems to have run into a few dead ends. He'll need to find a straight path soon or those monstrous shades will close in fast.
>>
>>37683517
.... Thats really gonna hurt man. Nice translucent wall.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37683337
Left, left, forward, right....
>>
>>37683387
>>37683404
Looks like both Jill and Dirk continues to impress, good show.
>>37683426
>shakes his head
Good thing he got a thick skull that one.
>>37683439
And there goes my favourite contestant... into certain doom?
>>
>>37683524
Hah, someone gets captured and it isn't me for a change, that's great!
I mean oh no....
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37683542
Do I need to roll again?
>>
>>37683542
doesn't 1 mean dead?
>>
>>37683537
*Stares* lay off the moon sugar
>>37683569
Thats what I said.
>>
>>37683569
No no, Vex is "Dead" and got dragged off by one of Lazarus's apprentices. So not really captured.
>>
>>37683413
Nah, you just seemed I dunno familiar... Are you santa?
>>
>>37683619
Ehhh thats captured in my book. Death holds no bar over us really.
>>
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Greetings, fellow mages and students of the arcane. What's on the agenda today, other than figuring out why I was dead for about 15 minutes?
>>
>>37683673
Death course! We finally got it done and running!
>>
>>37683517
Broggy casts an illusionary wall... but from the wolf's side, the wall is completely invisible.

>>37683566
Jill hits a dead end, but quickly recovers and finds a long path. She's getting close to the end.

>>37683599
For the maze, only if you roll them more than once in a row.

>>37683583
Dirk seems to have run way off course. He'll need to find the right path soon.
Yeah, roll again

>>37683540
Bradley leaps lime a beast across the stones, but not fast enough to avoid those lashing angler tanlons below. Bradley will have to continue to the maze with a few missing fingers.
>>
>>37683684
I approved that weeks ago! Certainly took you all a bit of time.
>>
>>37683673
B:Just like thesues, huh?
K: Shut up and let me cast
>>
>>37683673
Besides the death course fun, Secretus is back if that means anything to you.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37683720
Dammit hit post before I was ready
*Drain Life*
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37683542
Oooooch, did I hit a wall? Oh wait, what if there are traps in here... when in doubt, raise skeletons.
>casts skeleton minions
>>
>>37683611
Tick-tock, tick-tock. My dear ghost of friend. Time is but a delicate thing. So I go tick and it goes tock. No time for drugs. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37683643
Tick-tock, tick-tock. No I am not. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37683692
hmmm to easy...
*Summon Greater pinball* to clear our traps
>>
>>37683724
Secretus is back, as in alive? Dreadful news, my brief engagement with him in the shadow realm was an unpleasant one.
>>37683759
Do you have a license for unmuted noisemaking?
>>
>>37683673
Are you corporeal or incorporeal. I can never tell with your kind.
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37683692
Ouch, so that symbol was deadly trap... there are a lot of them in this maze...
>squints and leaps forward
Fortune favours the bold!
>>
>>37683692
*like a

>>37683741
Oh my. Krogrr and Brogrr are accidentally draining their own lives and sending their energy to the ravenous tunnel!

>>37683750
The apprentice successfully raises a gaggle of skeletons. The wolves are upon him, but luckily he has plenty of bones to throw at them now.

>>37683776
Wow! Jill summons a massive pinball, bouncing traps and illusions out of the way and clearing a path for her right to the finish line!
>Jill is out of the deathmaze
>>
>>37683789
Hey! You can't sue Santa!
>>
>>37683789
Vex said Conspierre let him out, But Conspierre said Vex let him out, And I'm more inclined to believe Vex dun it. Anyway, Not the time for this. Time for festivities. You should check the library after meetings, Discusion tends to continue a long while in there. 2700 posts total in the last thread I think? A lot. Dem ghostpots
>>
>>37683759
*Stares* yeah your time shenanigans don't work on dead thankfully.
>>
>>37683807
Uh oh. Bradley has landed himself right into one of the deathmaze's trap doors. This will force him to continue in the even deadlier Subyrinth!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37683810
B: Okay enough of this nerd shit I cast FIST!
K: You never learned that spell!
B: Who said I was casting a spell?
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37683692
Hmm, this isn't right. Time to adjust.
>>
>>37683834
Where are the twins? With zirconis?
>>
>>37683894
Presumably, They certainly weren't with us.
>>
>>37683724
>>37683789
>>37683834
>holds his hands over his ears
Lalalala, I can't hear you, to busy enjoying the race to have heard this news twice.
>>37683741
Ouch... I might have to trigger that ritual soon.
>>37683750
>yaw drops
>flips popcorn box into the air
He actually did something right?
>>37683883
Aaaaand they are back!
>pumps his fist into the air in triumph
>>
>>37683802
Fully corporeal now, thank you.
>>37683834
I know, it's ridiculous.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37683810
Alright, I can do this, time to power through, COME MY MINIONS, ONWARDS!
>>
>>37683883
Brogrr punches the tunnel. It seems momentarily surprised by this, giving the pair a chance to escape its deathly maw.

>>37683887
Dirk finds a tunnel that drops him towards the exit. He might be able to get out here if he doesn't go the wrong way. More of Veilhex's undead wolves are on his scent, though.
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37683944
Hmm i could cast a spell a make a run for it, although chances are i'll job it. Time to make good my escape!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37683944
K: Okay now to-
>Brogrr slaps krogrr
B:Nope, still my turn in the drivers seat and I say we do not gt time for nerd shit!
>>
>>37683920
*Stares* you presume? A set of twins of unknown magical power goes missing and you only presume? Well then. *Goes back to watching the race* too bad no one has died yet.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37683879
Huh, this door wasn't on the blueprint, must be a new addition...
>eats the drawing before continuing onwards
>>
>>37683944
Oh, I just love when undead really get hunting.

Run, kid! Or die, whichever you prefer.
>>
>>37683926
Last one wasn't. So its a fair question
>>
>>37683970
Hank did! *keeps running dodging traps like a man wearing a cool hat.*
>>
>>37683789
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh mage of law. This noise is but the gears inside my chest. That keep me up on tick and tock. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37683811
Tick-tock, tick-tock. But Santa I am not. For in this shell of brass and steel. No jolly heart does beat but springs and gears do grind. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37683856
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I fear you not. But please be aware that what you hear of another time. Is yours to keep for secret. And not to tell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>Catches her breath while waiting at the end of the maze
>>
>>37683941
Good lord. The wolves tear into the skelingtons, rendering them bone piles. Luckily, they seem to be distracted with chewing and burying their new toys, giving the apprentice a chance to escape them for good.

>>37683956
Dirk's intuition serves him well as he quickly finds the exit to the deathmaze.
>Dirk is out of the maze.

>>37683967
Wait, what are you guys actually doing?

>>37683973
Uh oh. Bradley runs in the garbage crushing machine from A New Hope!
>>
>>37683992
Don't worry, I'm sure Anfarthon will be back eventually.
>>37684006
Right then, you'll need to get an enchantment to reduce that noise, it's qualified as a public nuisance.
>>
>>37684026
What giants would normally do in a maze, Koolaid man it.
>>
>>37683974
Your wolves are fucking slow!

>>37684026
Finally.

>>37684021
Jill you made good time.
>>
>>37684045
Krogrr and Brogrr plow through the maze walls. Thankfully, they repair themselves behind the apprentices, but they're definitely heading in the right direction.
Roll one more time. If you get a 3 or a 4, you'll get out. Your noise is also attracting ALL OF THE WOLVES.
>>
>>37684001
Eh muscle wizards die a lot.
>>37684006
Never said you were to fear me. And really? who would believe the half crazy ghost?
>>37684036
I hope he is. He was fun to tease. Why did he leave?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37684085
Both: WOOOO!
>>
>>37682566
Hello...am I late?
>Resistance
>Perception
>>
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Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37684026
Well this seems unpleasant... did that trash just move? Hmm... could be my ticket out of here. Come here you beasties and rise for your new master!
>>
>>37684095
Existential crisis, real shame.
>>37684054
Glad to see you made it out alive! Have a scone.
>>
>>37684054
Thanks
>>
>>37683970
I'm really lazy and don't care to investigate.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37684026
Oh no, oh no, oh no, time to ruuuuuuuuuuuunnnnnn!
>>
>>37684134
Good work, have a scone! I've got blueberry, raspberry and emonberry.
>>
>>37684110
Awesome! Krogrr and Brogrr slam through the final wall and have discovered the exit! I imagine that hurt, but
>Krogrr and Brogrr have exited the maze.

>>37684117
No one is late. Try your luck across the skipping stones >>37682796

>>37684118
Oh my. Bradley has been constricted by an angry serpentine beast, and the walls are about to squish him dead!
>>
>>37683974
Veilhex, good to see you could join us, you missed the death of an apprentice. Have you seen this Dirk, from our department, he seems to really know what he is doing.
>>37684110
Good job you two, top marks.
>>37684151
Aaaaand there he goes again.
>sighs
>>
>>37684119
YAY! More ammo to fire at him with.
>>37684139
*Chewing on hanks shadow shaped as popcorn and says with his mouth full* Wazat? Ummah Enjoying duh shoe
>>
>>37684166
No thank you.
>>
>>37684151
The apprentice leaves the wolves in the dust, but now he's running in circles again, still far off from the exit. It seems he's attracted those ethereal shades as well.
>>
>>37684095
Still.

>>37684117
Nope we're maze running right now. Only Jill and I have made it out so far. No one has died yet though!

>>37684119
Thank you Ma'am! *eats scone*

>>37684134
Credit where it is due.
>>
>>37684187
He really does seem to have his act together,

Time will tell how together it truly is, though.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37684173
Well this isn't looking well. Let's see what haven't I tried yet... ah, of course, that.
>eyes glow red as Quin bites down on the serpent
YOU SEEM TO BE MISTAKEN ABOUT WHO IS EATING WHO HERE!
>>
>>37684220
He didn't even die interestingly so its nothing to talk about *eats some more of hanks shadow* stuffs tasty
>>
>>37684259
True, should you really be eating his shadow like that?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37682796
>>37684220
Alright...

>Roderick takes a robe, a deep breath, and begins, always looking out for which one might be fake. Since he's not the first, he just has to look for whichever ones have been stepped on.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37684210
Hahahaha, I'm still alive. Somehow... Perhaps its time to make use of that scroll I found yesterday.
>opens it up
Let's see, the art of "necrodancing"? What even is that?
>shrugs and starts moving to a beat
>>
>>37684036
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I do this not. For this every tick and every tock. Is all I got. For I am not. Tick-tock, tick tock.
>>37684095
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I thank you much. For if they know I will to have to rewind time before you told what the frightfull future holds. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37684296
Ouch. We need another pegleg here! Don't worry if you live through this you can get a real one regrown.

>>37684340
Wow that's just embarrassing,
>>
>>37684196
That's terribly insensitive!
>>37684340
Were I allowed to help I would, this is rather sad.
>>
>>37684340
Wha- Who dares invoke the ancient and powerful art of Necrodancing?

That's senior-level material!
>>
>>37684251
Ah! In one last-ditch effort, Quin nibbles on the serpent, but both our apprentice and the beast are squished sickeningly in the compactor! A terrible end to an awesome moustache.

>>37684296
>they reset after each apprentice. They also change places.
Roderick stumbles on a fake rock, and oh no! the krakenmaid just leaps up and chimps his hand off!

The young man makes it to the end, luckily, but we'll have to give him some kind of badass hook hand for the maze.

>>37684340
The apprentice... dances? Unfortunately, his groove lands him at a dead end, and the shades are upon him!
>>
>>37684395
I hope he's alright....
>>
>>37684360
I wouldn't let you help if you were allowed, my apprentice needs to prove he is worth keeping around on his own.
>>37684367
This is far from the stupidest move one of my apprentices have pulled. Remember the one who decided that when I say not to release the demon in the basement I'm just holding him back, leading to us having to deal with a basement full of demons?
>>37684251
Ouch, that looks nasty... wait a minute, that's no apprentice!
>>
>>37684395
Quin's been had, then? A real shame. I'll have to organize a funeral.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37684395
>Roderick holds his leg, a thick gash from the tentacle monster having cloven right through his quad to the bone, but to his credit he doesn't cry out. He just pulls out an anti-septic salve and rubs it into the wound, wrapping it up and moving on to the maze...
>>
>>37684458
Wait a minute? It was Quin!? Well, in that case, I'm sure they'll turn up perfectly fine later.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37684395
Hmm... must have gotten the beat wrong... oh well, let's just try to...
>sees shades
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>runs off at the speed of fright
>>
>>37684470
No you fool, the wound is on your arm! No wonder you rolled so poorly.
>>
>>37684470
fuck. no love for roderick
>>
>>37684251
Poor new kid.....
>>37684470
>Gasp!
>>
>>37684477
You pass them by, and find a good tunnel, nearing the end, but you need to roll well next or the shades will catch you!
>>
>>37684448
Oh, please don't remind me.

You know, I bet he still thinks we were holding him back after that fiasco.
>>
>>37684496
>Dem hallucinogenic tentacle barbs.
>>
>>37684470
Your bloodloss-and-poison-induced confusion lands you at a dead end. You can faintly sense unnatural abominations nearing you.
>>
File: QB-hurt.jpg (15 KB, 339x400)
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>>37684458
>limps out of the maze
I'm not dead yet, but my moustache has suffered a terrible fate.
>>37684472
Guilty as charged I'm afraid.
>>37684448
That's right, it was I, Quin Bradley all along! Now pass me some popcorn.
>>
>>37684550
>Hugs
Oh you poor thing
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37684550
Cure Light Wounds!
>>
>>37684550
Truly, all our hopes died with that moustache.

Has anyone seen Broggy? He's been lost in the maze for a while now.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37684507
A-haha-haha, I'm doing it, I'm still alive.
>grabs something off the ground and swings it hard against the wall in front of him
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
H-hello? Is this where I'm supposed to meet for evaluation? I'm pretty durable, and can detect things effectively, I guess... I was promised scones.
>>
>>37684550
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Quin is out. Who would have guessed? That under the mustache hairy laid the monstrous cat. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37684588
This is just sad.
Has he even made any progress since he went in there?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37684536
Roderick knows this feeling. He's felt it too many times, and he's learned how to make them suffer since. Turning around, he utters intelligible words with a voice of command that resonates unnaturally, with an arcane gesture to drive the creature into submission.
>>
>>37684588
You break the random shovel on the wall. The shades close in one you, and even without faces, they look at you like "are you serious?"

>>37684603
Tell us your specialties and step up to the Skipping Stones, young apprentice.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37684587
B: What! Hand on Broggy! Brogrr's coming!
K: NO YOU IDIOT!
>Runs back in the maze
>>
>>37684603
Of course, dear! You want to learn from the Lawmagi, you'll have to prove you're a valiant upholder of order. Just talk to Antruthius, he'll guide you through the process.
>>
>>37684511
Not unless he actually gained enough competence to raise from the dead unassisted, he died a month or two ago.
>>37684588
This one doesn't look like he will last for much longer either.
>>37684623
He actually managed to raise a decent group of skeletons to aid him for a while.
>>
>>37684588
That was my favorite shovel.
>>
>>37684638
I-i'm good with Resistance and Perception, and I can cast a few ward spells. Usually...
>>37684653
O-okay ma'am...
>>
>>37684638
Yeah run the stepping stones, watch for kracken maids.

>>37684638
I think he has resistance and perception Master Archwizard.

>>37684667
Shame he was doing so well. I'll miss Brody.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37684638
>shrugs and laughs nervously
Ehe, hehe, eh? It was worth a try?
>taps his foot while trying to think of a way out of there
>begins necrodancing
>>
>>37684731
My god, it's glorious...
>>
>>37684731
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3g6rE4tB2lM
>>
>>37684644
Krogrr and Brogrr... run back into the maze. Uh...

>>37684630
Roderick manages to subdue a strange aberration with a powerful spell! Let's see if he can find a path out of the maze.

>>37684731
Astonishing! the apprentice dances his way magically through the tunnel and right to the exit!
>Recent Apprentice has exited the maze
>Recent Apprentice has been cursed by the vindictive shades.
>>
>>37684731
Wow that's certainly more like it.

>>37684766
Your welcome Ma'am.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37684778
B: BROGGY!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37684778
Nah, fuck that, I'm too high to find my way out.
>Turns to the abomination.
Smash me the quickest route to the exit, then you're free to prey on the others in the maze.
>>
>>37684778
>>37684731
Good work, apprentice. Have a scone!
>>
>>37684563
>>37684584
Thank you, that helps.
>>
>>37684812
Oh gezz, you had me worried about janitors for a second
>>
>>37684808
...for what it's worth...add +1

Captcha: Britl
>>
>>37684778
>A scrawny Kobold in rags apraoches
Esscuse mi ser. Mi masser Zirconis telled mi to goes 'ere.
>>
>>37684812
D-did you just get Chronomanced?
Mod or was it the Janitor?

>>37684808
>>37684832
Well that is going to end badly.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37684778
Skipping stones, eh? Alright...
>>
>>37684840
nah I think she deleted it her self
>>
>>37684731
How in the? HOW!?
>>37684778
>walks out of the commenters booth and grabs his apprentice by the shoulders
HOW!?
>shakes his apprentice by the shoulders
BUT YOU ARE INCOMPETENT, HOW DID YOU PULL THAT OFF!?
>the apprentice shrugs
>>37684840
Wrong nametag, deleted it myself.
>>
>>37684805
They seem to have avoided any new problems, and the path to the exit remains clear, but Broggy is nowhere to be found.

>>37684808
Oh no! The abomination quickly leaps up and noms on Roderick, Victreebel-style!

>>37684838
Wunderbar! Tell us your specialties and then try your luck on the skipping stones.

>>37684848
Sonthus nearly trips up, but successfully navigates his way to the other side of the pond!
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37684884
RODERICK SMASH!
>Roderick draws his sword and starts cutting whatever looks vaguely important.
>>
>>37684367
Those wolves moved far too slowly to have been re-animated properly. You might want to fix them.

>>37684877
Master Lazarus maybe he was a dance student before he came to you?

>>37684884
Roderick has a +1 and forgot to add it.
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37684884
Yay! Now, uh, let's get out of here by looking around for an exit!
>>
>>37684913
ded Rod. Also, I keep forgetting the name change. :C
>>
>>37684913
Who are you again?
>>
Everyone is messing up their nametags in all the excitement. Must be really crazy down there.
>>
>>37684932
I've been in the ghost thread for a while now.
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

Alright, hope I'm not to late.
platforming/perception
Can anyone point me to the first obstacle?
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37684884
Mi is gud in jumps(Platforming) an' balansses. Mi is very happy to serves mi masser.
Sank yu misser, fo da chanss.
>start to jump on the skipping stones.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37684884
K: He's gone Brogrr!
B: Broggy!
K: Come on man, We need to get back
B: I'm not leaving him!
>Continues deeper into the maze
>>
>>37684984
*winces*

>>37684968
Need two specialties

>>37684960
Stepping stones over there Drake. Good luck *motions for a handshake*
>>
File: Photo 89.jpg (50 KB, 640x480)
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For those who have passed the maze, it is now time for the
>Mushroom Trip

You must pass from one cliff to the other by clinging to this large mushroom that will, for some reason, float to the other cliff, where the second half of the obstacle course continues. Roll well, and you'll make it. Roll poorly, and you'll fall into the Mystery Sludge!

Strength allows you to roll 1d4+1. if you all in the Mystery Sludge, roll 1d100 and I'll tell you what happens to you.

>>37684913
With a monster attached to your head, you flail madly around the maze in circles.
Roll again. The monster doesn't seem able right now to seriously harm you. But more are on the way.

>>37684919
You get a great start on the maze, nearly reaching the halfway point already.

>>37684960
Drake crosses the Skipping Stones with some trouble, but manages to reach the other side unharmed.

>>37684968
Tucker nearly flies across the stones! Incredible! This is the agility of a kobold, ladies and gentlemen.

>>37684984
>Wolves are upon you!
>>
>>37685041
Woo, go wolves! Eat their faces!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37685041
Here's goes everything!
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685041
>Cutting and slicing and dicing!

Also, heading out for a little bit, 15-30 minutes
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685041
This place is convoluted, unworkable and intentionally difficult to navigate. Just the way a barrier should be! I'm in my element!
Let's keep looking for that exit, though.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37685041
*Dominate monsters*
>>
>>37685039
*is a tad to far away to shake hands, but waves at the necromancer* Thanks dude!
*Drake attaches a grappling hook to his chain, throws it across the water until it hooks on something, then swings across*
Woo! Made it!
>>
I'm here! I'm here!
Who died?
>>
>>37685125
Hank the muscle mage apprentice did sir!
>>
yo magic sux
>>
>>37685105
K: Who's a good puppies? You are! You are! now go find that Broggy guy and get him out of the maze! Go on puppies!
>>
>>37685135
Oh, that's a shame, I hear those take a long time to train.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37685039
I have two. Platforming and balance
>>37685041
Sank yu for da prais misser!
>Tucker enters the Maze
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37685041
AAAAHHHH!
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685041
Time for that strength to help out.
Alright, alright, I survived the maze, I can do this.
>Lazarus dumps a corpse in his hands before he can head off
Eh? Eeeeeeh!?
>awkwardly tries to make it across while carrying the corpse
>>
>>37685089
Roderick manages to spin out halfway into the maze! The dizzy creature slumps off his head, and now the young squire has a clearer running towards the exit! Will he make it all the way out?

>>37685085
The mushroom spins quickly, trying to throw you off! Luckily, as you fall, you catch the other cliff, and survive with just a broken rib or two.

>>37685093
You manage to get 75% towards the exit. Just another good roll and you'll get through completely undaunted!
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37685191
A rib or two? Bah i can live with that. Necromancer Have to have a sound constitution to work our magic. Again!
>>
>>37685182
Lazarus, look what you've made of the poor child!
>>37685093
At least mine is navigating marvelously!
I'll make you a bet, even. My apprentice can complete this course not simply before your little necrodancer, but in better condition!
>>
Incase anyone ever needs a list of 9999 effects see Ghost post
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685191
Alright! I can sense the maze drawing to an end, and I can practically smell those delicious scones!
>>
>gets back to his seat
Ah, that's one corpse well spent, what have I missed?
>>37685240
>smiles inocently
He is good at carrying corpses, I'm just helping him improve on his talents.
>>
Wow, this is so much better with the update number, like, holy shit.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>puts on red robe, flexes, red robe turns to ash.
I am the Ultimate Human.(Strength, Resistance)
>The stepping stones seem to cower in fear as the Ultimate Human approaches.
>>
>>37685275
Ah, so you're not taking the bet then? I thought not.
>>37685281
This one seems a potential success story. I wonder whose apprentice they are.
>>
>>37685105
You successfully turn the wolves to your side. You can't be sure if they won't eat Broggy when they find him, though.

>>37685165
Tucker is dominating this course! You're already halfway through the maze.

>>37685175
Jill tries her best, and is tossed hard on the other side, spraining something.

>>37685182
You just barely manage to hold on, but oh no! That corpse falls into the Mystery Sludge!
Roll 1d100 to see what happens to the corpse.

>>37685281
Indeed, you navigate the stones well, and land finely right on the other side of the pond. you truly might be the ultimate human.

>>37685263
You successfully find the exit! Thankfully, most of the other monsters are distracted.
>Sonthus exits the maze
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

*standing at the entrance to the maze, Drake takes off the grappling hook and throws the end of the chain through the entrance*
>>
>>37685316
>fakes shock
Me? Bet against my own apprentice? Is that what you are implying?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37685345
Ahhh ouch ouch ouch
>Tries to cure that sprain
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>37685345
Oh no... I'm dead ain't I... oh boy.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37685345
Mi grow up in cave, misser I knowes how to walk maze.
>Tucker turns to the left walking fast but carefully
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37685345
CLW Ribs
>>
>>37684353
Your no fun sometimes.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37685345
>Krogrr doesn't tell Brogrr nor Care
>Koolaid man to the exit
>>
>>37685345
Good work dear! Have a couple scones!
>>37685362
Mine got through without issue, can you say the same of yours?
>>
>>37685360
>>37685360
*the chain slithers a short way through the maze, but stops after hitting a dead end, Drake pulls it back out and tries again*
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685345
>>37685402
Better leg it... and get to the other side.
>>
>>37685425
I would bet against my apprentice its good money. Luckily none attended.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37685345
I am the Ultimate Human.
>the Ultimate Human uses his biceps to navigate the maze.
>the Ultimate Human is flexing.
>the Ultimate Human is always flexing.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685438
>>
>>37685425
>>37685345
Th-thanks ma'am. What am I supposed to do now? Is it over? Did I win?
>>
>>37685422
Tick-tock, tick-tock. The future knows no place for fun. For the one for whom sometimes is always and was. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37685360
>>37685438
Your bread crumbs approach works well, but you can't quite get through far enough.

>>37685397
>hurts even more!

>>37685409
Tucker catches the scent of Krogrr and Brogrr's dominated zombie wolves! Run, Tucker!

>>37685417
>you broke a third rib!

>>37685424
Once again, you exit the maze by smashing the walls!
>Krogrr and Brogrr exit the maze... again.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37685498
I can do this Clw!
>>
>>37685490
You know, I will enjoy the hell to come clock man. It will be fun indeed.
>>
>>37685425
Pierre gave my bet the worst odds I've ever heard. But yes, my bet got through... looks like I'll lose though, my apprentice is more capable than I've ever seen him before.
>>37685448
Just look at that jump, HOW!?
>>37685467
Also, who is this muscle wizard? He is doing well so far.
>>
>>37685467
You flex your way about 25% through the maze. No monsters yet. Probably terrified of your ultimate muscles.

>>37685477
Your chain seems to be pulled on by a Beholder! He's chewing the grappling hook!

>>37685527
You cure a rib.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37685498
Oh, I just have to go across this thing? Alright! First I'd better cast a Levitation field so I don't fall into that nasty stuff below.
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685498
>Tucker turns around and rund quickly away, leaving some traps on his way. (rolling 1d2 for the traps)
MI RUNNES MISSER!
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685477
*having no luck with his method, Drake walks in to the maze frustrated*
>>
>>37685498
>cries as she loses use of her right hand(and flipper)
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685498
Both: YUG SUL!
>>
>>37685545
What of me any my lost corpse? (>>37685402 >>37685448)
>>
>>37685555
You successfully cast a levitation field. Add a +1 bonus when you hang onto the mushroom.

>>37685557
You successfully avoid the wolves and are now 60% through the maze.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37685557
sorry wrong nametag and dice. take the 3 will roll the 1d2 again.
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685615
Wheeee!
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685562
*and runs right into the beholder that followed his chain as he drew it back to him*
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685191
>Forcing himself to focus through the poison, Roderick heads out in the direction he thinks leads to freedom...
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37685545
Faster reps = less mass, but...
>the Ultimate Human grunts and flexes until a vein pops
>the Ultimate Human uses the blood to slide faster through the maze
>>
>>37685613
I'll surprise you with it.

>>37685568
Don't worry, Jill. You need only your legs for the next challenge:
>Log Jammer

Apprentices must cross this bridge of spinning logs, or fall through and into the Mystery Sludge.
Balance gives you 1d4+1, Platforming gives you 1d4+1, and if you have both, you get 1d4+2. However, 1's and 2's will both send you into the Mystery Sludge now.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37685615
>Tucker is still running
ESSCUSE MI WOLVES, YU NO EATS MI!
>>
>>37685706
At least tell me, have I made it to the log or not?
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685706
Time to run for it!
>>
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>>37685706
Sorry, forgot pic

>>37685631
Sonthus makes it across perfectly fine.

>>37685636
The Beholder seems just as surprised as Drake. Will our chain mage run or fight?

>>37685645
Roderick bursts through the doors and out of the maze!
>Roderick has exited the maze

>>37685697
You run into a dead end. A few ethereal shades descend upon you!
>>
>>37685636
work calls, so drake will be bashing the crap out of that beholder with his chain until I get back
>>
>>37685536
Tick-tock, tick-tock. But time is round just like a clock. And for every tick and every tock that heralds hell. The loop draws close aswell. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37685768
This is like the stepping stones, right? Should be a cinch! Sonthus away!
>>
>>37685706
>has both
>>
>Bursts in covered in flames, lashes of fire spouting from her back
Whaaaaat's going on guys!
rolls DC for not being set on fire by standing next to cromia
>>
>>37685768
>Collapses forwards, bleeding from his head and still lacking a badass hook-hand.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>37685765
[Well shit on a shingle, this'll be unpleasant]
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37685768
fucked up the roll
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>37685825
Ah hello Cromina, we're watching the apprentices go through an obstacle course.
>>
>>37685759
Yeah, you made it. Just lost the corpse is all.

>>37685765
Dirk tries the logs, and augh! the apprentice necromancer slams head first into a log, and into the Mystery Sludge!
roll 1d100 to see what happens to you

>>37685717
More quick movement, and Tucker makes it all the way to the end of the maze! Probably hastened by the wolves behind him.
>Tucker exits the maze
>>
Rolled 5 (1d20)

>>37685825
am I stupid
>>37685841
Seems fine, eh... so who died until now?
>>
Rolled 12 (1d20)

>>37685813
That's my boy, Sonthus! This challenge has nothing you can't beat!
>>37685765
>>37685765
Not looking good for the necromancers though...
>>37685768
Good work Roderick, have a scone!
>>37685825
>>
>>37685827
I'm tired, lemme alone
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>37685825
Jeez, what happened to you?
>>
>>37685779
*Stares* now your just getting confusing.
>>37685825
Hi I died *hugs her* the fire kinda tickles
>>
>>37685825
>Is on fire
OH GOD WHY!
>Run around setting other near by things on fire
>>37685852
Yo what's the statis on >>37685599
>>
>>37685856
I'm not entirely sure, I'm using it as an excuse to holler at the field and have a drink with the other mages.
Speaking of which, have a drink.
>>
>>37685834
>>37685852
See Previous post.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685768
>>37685852
Running, running, running, running! Aaaaaaaaah, where am I going to find a corpse to replace the one I lost!?
>>
>>37685885
Lord knows You stuck in like me though.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>37685885
>slips
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>>
>>37685772
Alrighty

>>37685813
Sonthus deftly treads the rolling logs and makes it safely to the other side.

>>37685834
>Dirk reappears at the start of the Log Jammer
>As a Vampire!

>>37685839
Jill stumbles a little, but manages to claw her way across the logs and onto the other side.
>>
>>37685825
Heya Cromina. Someone was looking for you.
>>
>>37685874
Ah, the thieves this day, don't you get Evasion?
>>37685867
Uh, same as last time but check it out, the rift has not grown in a week! Well, it occasionally spouts flames everywhere but who cares.
>>37685875
I'd love to, though you see-
>picks up a glass full of alcoholic beverages best left unmentioned
>glass explodes in a burst of fire
-that's the problem.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37685768
This was all part of the plan.
>the Ultimate Human's flowing golden hair begins to merge with his arms.
>the Ultimate Human attempts to lift the entire maze off the ground as one piece and walk underneath the wall in front of him
>>
>>37685961
>Implying noone would ever make a save
>>
>>37685825
Well, I would say the best day of my life, but my apprentice is still alive, so I'm not sure yet.
>>37685885
>>37685908
Oooooh, there he goes.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37685852
>Looks at the mushroom and down at the mystery sludge
Tis look worses than da piss o' mi masser. Mie better not falls down.
>Tucker jumps and claws himself deeply into the Shroom
WHEEEE!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37685852
Roderick takes a deep breath and heads into the log jam...
>>
>>37685936
Yaay! Did I win yet? Is it over?
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37685936
I get any bonuses considering Vamps are faster, stronger, and very much more resilient than your average schlub, if so let me know, if not oh well.

Well it could have been worse. Again
>>
>>37685951
And who would it be? Implying you unreliable catfolk are to be trusted.
>>37685974
It was a low dc one, no one could have failed it- uh wait, I got it.
>>
>>37685961
Ok yeah, that is a problem.
Try this, it's chewable until its been in your mouth for around 10 seconds.
>>
>>37685885
>>37685908
And, the apprentice falls into the Mystery Sludge
And it looks like he's clawing his way up into the maze as a gorgon!
>the apprentice is now a gorgon monster in the maze

>>37685874
Sorry, it looks like Krogrr and Brogrr are on the mushroom, and –ouch! One of the brothers smacked his head on a rock as they landed!
>>
>>37685936
Ha.....hahaha...HAHAHAA Yes!

>>37685990
>Gasp!
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37686009
rolling to see who is concussed
>>
>>37686003
*Stares* the utter waste of alcohol in that exploding glass of alcohol is just. Unacceptable
>>
>>37686003
Uh. One of the apprentices wanted to apologize to you maybe. So if that rings any bells its probably whoever rung the bell. I don't remember. I slept horribly and cant be bothered to remember things.
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37686009
K: Okay log jump, lets do it brother
B: *drools*
K:Okay so no change......
>>
>>37685872
Tick-tock, tick-tock. You have to know there are mysteries in time. And I for one who lives in many lines as constant just to watch. Am not the greatest one. For time just flows with tick and tock, loopwise in the end. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37686009
As in snakes for hair gorgon? Cool.
>scratches his head in confusion
>notices hair is now snakes
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
>runs through the maze in panic
>>
>Torches the popcorn vender's stall
AHHHHHHH
>>37686061
SAVE ME ROBOT SANTA!
>>
>>37685966
Good lord! the Ultimate Human is walking under the maze like a boss! Incredible! The monsters don't seem to know what to do.
>The Ultimate Human exits the maze

>>37685982
Tucker barely hangs on as the mushroom spins to shake him off. He lands hard on the other cliff, hurting something.

>>37686002
Not here. You're an impure Mystery Sludge Vampire. You can learn to be an incredibly badass bloodsucker if you make it out of the course, though.

>>37686001
Just two more obstacles

>>37685990
And, into the Mystery Sludge!
>>
>>37686005
Actually you shouldn't come THAT close to me-
>Marus hair catch fire
See?
>>37686035
I know, such a pity. Someone, bring me some very cold drink in a ice bucket, maybe I'll get to drink something.
>>37686041
Ah? I think we are talking about Roderick, the guy shows promise indeed. Mah. Has anyone seen Soros or Pierre or some other guy I can relate to?
>>
>>37686081
Fair enough i think i might ad this guy to my line up if he unlives through this.

I made it right?
>>
>>37685961
Interesting... just don't blow up my popcorn.
>>37686009
>>37686063
Huh, that's new. Never trained a gorgon before. Wait is he a woman now? Huh, that's odd.
>shrugs
Not like he, er... she, is going to become less competent than she already was like this.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>37686081
Dice Gods have Mercy
>>
>>37686107
Oh bother. I wonder if I have anything non-alcoholic here..
>>
>>37686107
No idea about Sorors, Pierres been missing since Vex let Secretus out.
>>
>>37686107
You rang?
Sorry playing more than one at a time is ahrd for me.
>>
>>37686051
kek
Krogrr and Brogrr nimbly make it through the Log Jammer and onto the other side.

>>37686063
The apprentice accidentally finds the exit to the maze again. I suppose he could try and continue, even as a gorgon.

No one look him in the eyes.

>>37686002
>>37686109
And Vampire!Dirk successfully makes it across the Log Jammer. And now, a public notice that Jill's neck looks deliciously bitable.
>>
>>37686081
S-so what's next?
>>
>>37686061
*Nods sagely* fair enough mr tick tock. Its definetly fun to watch.
>>37686107
*Conjures up some ice water in a frozen cup made of frozen helium* try this *hands it to her*
>>
>>37686157
Really? I just got made I am not thirsty yet. Besides i'd be pulped before i could get anything out of that tasty looking neck.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37686157
>puts on a blindfold
>takes a deep breath
>necrodances on to the next obstacle
>>
>>37686157
>Looks >>37686063 in the likes like he is told to
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37686081
>Tucker is clawing up some of his teeth and his tail looks brocken
Nossing to warry 'bot misser. Mi has be treates badder befores.
>Takes a look at the logs
Tis mai no dat bads
>Tucker jumps
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37686081
>the Ultimate Human puts the maze back down where it was
I'll be back for more reps later.
>the Ultimate Human jumps towards the mushroom and attempts to punch into it
>>
>>37686154
Hello Soros, you have missed out on watching apprentices stumble through the course, we even lost one at the beginning.
>>37686195
>facepalms loudly
>>
>>37686154
Oh, Theres Soros. Hiya Soros.
>>
>>37686154
Ah Soros, where have you been?
Have a drink. Assuming you're not also on fire.
>>
>>37686151
Shame, he is a pretty swell guy.
>>37686154
Hey. Nothing of important, just going to see how many people I can tolerate were around. Actually can you take a look at these, though?
>removes a magic-enhancing diadem from her forehead
>two tiny horns are very obviously sprouting from underneath the flesh
>>37686189
Hey, where's the alcohol?
>>
>>37686225
Diviner remember? I've seen the entire thing. I'm playing Dirk.

>>37686227
Hello. You need a real name to call you by.

>>37686247
Oh my. Looks like you're turning into a devil from that contract. I'l lsee what i can do. *starts slathering Cromina in a green foul smelling ungent*
>>
>>37686279
50 gold says it's Kat
>>
>>37686247
Flictonic Clipple Webber Syndrome!
>>37686279
How are you? Wheres the fun in that?
>>
>>37686136
Roderick resurfaces from the Mystery Sludge as a ROBOT!

>>37686164
For those still with us, the next obstacle is the
>Highballs

Apprentices have to balance along a tightrope, while we, the teachers, throw magical dodgeballs at you. Will you make it to the other side, or fall into the Mystery Sludge?

Balance gives you 1d4+1 and Resistance gives you 1d4+1. Both give you 1d4+2. Same as before, 1 and 2 send you to the sludge.

>>37686201
fucking kek
>>
>>37686303
>Is a statue at this point
>>
>>37686301
Fine. You? Just or our sanity so we can talk civilly.
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37686314
Oh, taking blows without reacting? Papa taught me real good at that!>>37686314
>>
File: Photo 91.jpg (51 KB, 640x480)
51 KB
51 KB JPG
>>37686314
Dammit. I had to reload and forgot the pic.

>>37686195
Uh oh, Gorgon!Apprentice completely missed the mushroom and falls back into the Mystery Sludge!

>>37686203
Tucker makes it clean across the logs.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37686314
ROBOTERIK HAS NO NEED FOR SLUDGE!

>He charges up his lazer eyes to blow up the sludge with robomagic shenanigans

You're enjoying this, aren't you?
>>
>>37686077
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Me is to watch and not to act. So I won't save. Not even a single elf. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37686189
Tick-tock, tick-tock. For me who knows how this timeline goes and all other ones as well. This end is but a repitition now and lost all charme to me. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37686247
I dont conjure alcohol after my fifty foot tall alcohol elemental one time
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37686314
>Tries to conjurer her flippers(right is still useless) to deflect incoming objects
>>
>>37686363
I died how are you?
>>37686376
Well thats no fun because human choice is a thing.
>>
>>37686279
L-Let's not jump to the conclusions- and keep that smelly thing away from me! What do you know of these things, maybe >>37686301 is right and this is just some strange syndrome.
>>37686380
You gotta be kidding me, if I knew how summon one of those I would do it every day
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37686314
Well this is going to be unpleasant.
>>
Rolled 4 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37686371
>Has to cross with a failed spell
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>37686371
This doesn't seem so bad the second time it happens...
>>
>>37686421
I was there remember?
>>37686423
Pretty sure i'm right. Just hold your nose. Also you have a tail.
>>
>>37686368
Go get em, Sonthus!
>Papa taught me real good at that!
Too real.
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37686314
K: This will be a cake walk, right brother
B: *drools*
K: getting real tired of your shit brogrr
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>37686430
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>37686468
>Gets nailed in the balls
>Falls into the sludge
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37686371
Dogdin' mi is gud at dodgin ssings. Masser srow loss of tings at mi.
>Tucker balances on the rope, his broken tail gives causes him some trouble at first but he seems able to cope
>>
>>37686368
Hell, I'm just breezing right through these!
>>
>>37686279
Of course... now about your near omniscience, can we all wait with dealing with... well, you know, until after this race is over? I mean I get it's important, Pierre and you made that clear BEFORE it became an issue. But we are having such a wonderful time right now.
>>37686468
>turns back to the race
Oh...
>>
>>37686374
You fire a laser into the sludge.

...roll 1d100 to find out what happens to the laser

>>37686387
>You accidentally conjure the flipper at the bottom of the area, and it is going to the bounce balls that miss back up at you!

>>37686434
You manage to dodge the balls. Even the ones that fly back!

>>37686430
Struck right in the fangs! And into the Mystery Sludge!

>>37686440
You are teleported to the Subyrinth under the deathmaze! Still a gorgon.
>>
>>37686502
I forgot my bonus can I reroll?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>37686514
I have no regrets
>>
>>37686487
>>37686514
>>
>is popular with the pigeons
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37686514
Oh, this place looks nice, maybe I can find a replacement corpse in here somewhere!
>starts looking for corpses
>>
>>37686462
What? I ain't got no tail, you must be wrong. You must be kidding, Soros. Are you kidding? Because right now, right here I would be very, very, VERY happy if you were.
>>
>>37686508
I already told you, tracking Secretus takes all my attention, so i honestly can't say.

>>37686574
Noe looks like a spade tail too. *yanks on it a little.*
>>
>>37686574
>>37686588
Is Cromina turning into a demon? That's what happens when you're on the evil side of the law.
>>
>>37686363
Slept horribly, Doing okay besides that. Most people just use Random as a first name :^) If I ever picked a name it would be somthing like Kaht Gril Pahlidin or something equally cringeworthy.
>>
>>37686574
No that's a tail alright.
>>
>>37686620
I'd just call you Kat
>>
>>37686609
Devil actually. Demon would be chaotic.

>>37686620
Sorry to hear that. Your name is just Kat? Short for Katrina or Katherine?
>>
>>37686423
Adolescent psychological skin hardening syndrome. It’s a common disease where children grow horns from trying too hard. http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/FLCL
>>
>>37686421
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Or so you think. For I, I saw all possibilities. And ask myself why do you still look with such an wistfull eye at that little tent of blue which you call the sky?
>>
>>37686501
it seems that Krogrr and Brogrr have been teleported to guild hall. But, oh my– they are accosted by new evil opposites! Rogok and Rogob!

>>37686544
Just add the bonus. if it's a 3, you get nailed, but you survive to the end. If it's a 4 or higher, you dodge all the balls.

>>37686546
Aw, the laser died.

>>37686572
You find zero corpses. You do, however, find a still-living hobo by the name of Squigly Fred. He's a cool guy.

>>37686561
You are transformed into a dodgeball to be fired at the other apprentices!
>>
>>37686423
I tried there alcohol is kinda painful.
>>37686462
Nope things are hard to remember some days.
>>37686609
No
>>
>>37686588
Ykes! Hands off!
>>37686609
>>37686627
Shut up, shut the nine hells up, I am thinking!
-No, ok, I can't into this. Someone, think for me, please.
>>
rolled 2, my bonus is +1, so its 3?
>>
>>37686640
Cause its a wonderful thing to stare at when you get to fly free through it all. Its beautiful really to see the blue sky.
>>
>>37686669
E-excuse me sir? Am I done now? Is there another trial? Did I pass?
>>
>>37686630
>>37686637
as far as the character is concerned, The only reason they haven't said their name is because they know it bothers people. As far as I'm concerned its just because I'm terrible at names. Plus it has been an amusing schtick to me. Ill use a name if people want.
I did have a nice dream though, So 50/50.
>>
>>37686639
Based FLCL, that thing is golden.
>>
>>37686669
so out of the game?
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37686669
Oh well.
>He climbs out of the sludge and starts making his way down again...
>>
>>37686689
I was the head of demonology i need a blood sample and an hour.
>>
>>37682879
Are you bipolar?
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37686669
Oh good, company, come Fred, let us both leave this place and seek out the promised land full of sandwiches and sunshine!
>>
>>37686669
Welp my player in this is gone.

>>37686681
Goes with being a spirit. it'll get worse.

>>37686689
Sorry. You might want to pray to the heavens to delay or reset this?

>>37686719
Ah well then. Good for you. Just awkward for me, Hell i named Lazarus because it was making my OCD active.
>>
>>37686719
Fine ether way with me, just saying if it was kaht or something I'd just call you Kat. or Tabby
>>
>>37686707
Tick-tock, tick-tock. That was a metaphor. With sky I mean uncertain fate, which is uncertain no more. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37686743
Who are you? Maybe.
Nah.
>>
>>37686784
heh, you play Dirk?
>>
>>37686784
WHO? Those stick-in-the-ass guys living in their disgustingly peaceful realm? You gotta be kidding me!
>>37686737
You was the head of demonology, right. You should be able to do it in half an hour, tops. Here, take this.
rolling again DC to not catch fire when going anywhere near cromia
>>
>>37686826
Played.
>>
>>37686710
You have made it to the final challenge!
>Wall Bangers

Apprentices must pass through a series of walls. Each wall has doors drawn on it, some are solid and cannot be broken, others are made of paper. You have to force through the paper doors and onto the next wall.

This is a multi-tier challenge. Winning means you have passed the course. There are 5 walls in total. Each wall requires a 1d4 roll. Rolling 4 or higher means you're safe. Rolling 3 means you stumble through and into a monster hiding on the other side! Rolling 2 means you hit a solid wall and have to try again from the start! Rolling 1 means you fall through a trap.

Resistance gives you 1d4+1, and Perception gives you 1d4+1. Both give you 1d4+2.
>>
>>37686784
Its not so bad. Lots of cool magic that I can use now.
>>37686793
I know even with a doom coming its still marvelous to watch.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37686844
am I stupid again
>>
>>37686704
sorry forgot to link to
>>37686669
>>
>>37686844
* walks up and grabs it* I am also dead friend so your fire doesn't hurt too much.
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37686855
Wow, this should be easy! As someone who makes walls, breaking them should be no challenge!
>>
>>37686844
Hey you want to buy some time or not? This is accelerating exponentially. Looks like you might end up an Erinyes.

>>37686861
Half the time and you have to get a consensus on it.
>>
>>37686689
Well I can remove the tail and the horns and the.. Fire, that appears to be escaping your nostrils when you get upset.
But I don't think that is going to help very much.
>>
>>37686855
Not to be impatient but did you miss me?
>>37686211
>>
Rolled 3, 1, 1, 3, 3 = 11 (5d4)

>>37686855
>Opens doors
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37686855
late to the party, is it too late to run the course?
>>
>>37686855
Got no update on my latest attempt at escaping the maze. >>37686755
>>
>>37686730
Perhaps. See what happens after you deal with your opposite clones.

>>37686734
You make it back to the Log Jammer. The magic logs indeed support your weight, and you are on to the Highballs.

>>37686755
You find neither.

>>37686902
You break through the first wall and into the midst of a Grue!
You lose your bonus for the next wall if you choose to avoid it.

>>37686845
Well, the ball is going to fall in the Mystery Sludge if you want to test your luck. Rolling a pure 100 will actually let you win the entire course.

>>37686877
You advance through the dodgeballs and onto Wall Bangers.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37686974
Let's just cast an Arcane barrier! No dark spirit shall hinder me!
>>
>>37686974
K:Hi?
B: *drools*
>>
>>37686909
Then do it! AT ONCE!
>nearby chair is utterly disintegrated into a pile of ashes
>>37686907
Look at me soros. Back at you, now back at me.
Who casts with Intelligence here and who uses Charisma? Right. Should I know what is an Erinyes?
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37686999
Yay! Now onwards!
>>
>>37686907
So long as I am making ritual circles only I can use the shadow as much as I need to. Outside of that yeah I need James's agreement.
>>
>>37686923
Sorry. I did miss you.
The Ultimate Human puts his fist in the mushroom, and is carried across to the other side. Uh... twice. Three times, before removing his fist and exiting to the Log Jammer.

>>37686943
You don't have to do them all at once.

You stumble into a Beholder! Avoiding it, you then pass into a trap, a paper that sends you into a puddle of Mystery Sludge!
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>37687024
Well then.
>shoots with crude blowdart
>>
>>37686861
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I see, I hear, I get your words. So i will tell you that, the Planecrash is a wonder still. So we two will keep our watch. Even if it after hundred times a dull wonder it became. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37687024
>actually happens to know what a Erinyes is
>Is unable to share this information
>Is also covered in bird shit
>>
>>37687024
*Stares* uhhh lets skip the blood and get straight to emergency cures. Yeah, sooooooooooooo. What caused the transformation?
>>
>>37686974
Nah i'm good.

>>37687024
Basically the devil equivalent to a succubus demon. Basically you're going to be Asmodeus's bitch in any way he wants. Fair warning he likes it painful.

>>37687035
Thought so.

>>37687073
You're going to make the transformation faster by doing that.

>>37687089
Warlock contract with Asmodeus.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>37687069
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- *SPLAT*
>Belly flops
Question: is there water in the mystery sludge?
>>
Aw ye. I got Reese's pieces. Todays not so bad after-all
>>37687116
That's pretty terrible. Is it magical?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37686974
>looks at the walls
Sheesh misser. Mi wishes masser was 'ere. 'Is 'ead is so 'ard mi could slams throughs all walls. But well...
>Sprints against the first wall
>>
>>37686999
>The monster is stuck! If you go back to the beginning at all, you never encounter another monster between walls 1 and 2.

>>37687033
You pass through Wall 2 perfectly.

>>37687005
>Rogok and Rogob.
Hey, what's up?

>>37686952
Sure, you can give it a shot. Just tell us your specialties for bonuses. If nothing else, you pass the Skipping Stones and already advance to the maze.
>>
>>37687174
Yes. Yes it is .
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37687069
This one's for all the scouts watching.
>the Ultimate Human, implausibly, manages to flex even harder.
>the Ultimate Human assumes a perfect squatting position and turns sideways to crab-walk over the log.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37686974
>>37687189
There got to be some way out of here. Hey Frank, look at this thing I learned earlier today, it's called necrodancing.
>taps a beat and starts necrodancing
Here comes the natural 1
>>
>>37687187
oh boy not removing the other nametag sure messes with my luck
>>
>>37687194
Would uh, It go badly if it were to be dispelled?
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37687189
Skills, don't fail me now! Onwards, to the 4th section!
>>
>>37687252
Not even Aetherius could that.
>>
>>37687189
K: Not much, my currently concussed brother here entered us into some contest and we where just teleported here while in the middle of it. Oh and nice to meet you guys, I'm Krogrr and this is my brother, Brogrr.
>>
>>37687086
Looks like I am able to cast some dispel magic right now? I am not. The only thing I can cast is Fireball, all day long.
>>37687116
Uh. Soros.
You, like, got to help me.
I mean. You aren't going to let this happen, right? RIGHT? I enjoy being the overcharged, powered up version of a human, I don't think being some devil king's bitch is what I want to do with my life. So you going to help, right?
>>
>>37687280
When you dispel something, Do you smash it like a window so the entire thing comes down? Or do you wear it down like water wears down rocks over time. Genuine question.
>>
>>37687139
No water, sorry.
Jill, you rise from the sludge sapped of all of your magic! You're a muggle for the rest of the course!

>>37687213
The Ultimate human crab walks into the Mystery Sludge!

>>37687236
>Frank necrodances better than you!

>>37687187
>>37687246
And, you're blasted by a spike trap! You're wounded even worse and bleeding everywhere. but, you can start the wall over.

>>37687258
Once again, clean past Wall 3!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37687189
Cool, I assume i have to start at the beginning, then. I guess I'll take balance and platforming.
>>
>>37687336
So back to the doors or do I start over at the mushroom tripper?
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37687336
The penultimate wall! I can practically taste victory!
>>
>>37687320
I'm trying to, yes. This is fucking complicated even with Spelleye and truesight on. 17 dimensions intertwining at various points.

>>37687331
Smash all or nothing usually.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37687336
>Coughes up some blood
Shikes misser, tis 'urts baddes. But mi mum sayed alway keepin' on tryin'
>He charges a different wall
>>
>>37687286
>Rogok and Rogob.
I'm Rogok, and this is Rogob. We're here to murder you and take your flesh.

>>37687339
Alrighty. After passing the skipping stones flawlessly, you manage to navigate the maze expertly, finding your way already to the halfway point.

>>37687375
You stumble into a duo of Owlbears!
>>
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37687336
Wow, Frank, you're a natural, let's beat this maze to the beat.
>>
>>37687075
I may not remember the first few or the last few dying messes with the memory.
>>37687116
.....
>>37687320
I got this I think. *Sifts through contracts*
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37687421
*casts Nut shot*
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>37687336
>the Ultimate Human's triceps deflate an almost imperceptible amount in response to this turn of events as he enters the sludge.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37687421
Owlbears! Just one wall left... I can't lose my way now! Arcane Shield!
>>
>>37687452
Damn son
>>
>>37687426
Then? Then? What is it? Did you discover something?
>>37687398
It makes no sense to me but continue, please, it is not like I am going to turn into an horrible monster.
>>
>>37687398
Does everyone dispel that way or is it just a personal preference deal? When I'm absorbing others magic I just absorb part of it until the whole thing unravels at the seams. Trying to figure out if I could help Cromina or if it would just make it worse somehow. Without insulting anyone or anything.
>>
>>37687336
>>37687424
>stares in disbelief at the necrodancing duo
Well I guess that's good enough for me, once that fool is out of there I'm taking my TWO apprentices and leaving. Apparently that fool is good for something.
>>
>>37687469
I do this wrong you could end up as food instead of a fucktoy. Eternally digested and undying.

>>37687478
Usual way to do it. Plus this can repair itself.
>>
>>37687426
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Of course you don't remember. For the Planecrash is not just a end. As I said with every tick and every tock time will rewind itself. And I am choosen to protect the status which you might just call quo. For the crash is the end and the beginning of our multiverse. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37687424
You successfully boogey out of the maze.

>>37687408
You fall into a net on the other side. The Grue kicks you a bit. He eventually nudges you back to start, with most of your body a broken mess of kobold.

>>37687439
>Rogok and Rogob
Blargh!
>Collapse in agony
A door appears behind them.

>>37687442
You reappear at the beginning of the Log jammer, but you have been transformed into the Ultimate Elf!

>>37687452
You deflect the Owlbears, who can no longer assail you.


BRB, sorry.
>>
>>37686974
Welp. Due to immense amounts of RL drama, I'm out. I'll pop in later maybe.
>>
>>37687520
>Goes through the door
>>
Rolled 3 + 2 (1d4 + 2)

>>37687520
The last door! This is it! My triumph as a TRUE Abjuror!
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d2 + 1)

>>37687421
Sweet onto >>37686314

Casting a duststorm to blind the teachers while I meander across the tightrope with my expert balancing skills.
>>
>>37687495
Ah well, Probably not worth the risk. When there's a lot of time put into a spell it gets a bit dangerous and unpredictable. I prefer dealing with combat dispelling. I'm around if you come up with anything to help them.
>>
>>37687537
Later man!

>>37687554
NOICE!
>>
>>37687554
God damn, I didn't fail a single test. And despite being late, I was first to finish. I should get extra scones for this.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37687520
>Tucker is sobbing
Mi will win fo' mi masser. No end here. Must win.
>He charges the next wall with the power of despair. He shouldn't even be able to move anymore, but he keeps going.
>>
actually with the contest probably won, I'm going to poof to get some grub
>>
>>37687495
>Screams internally
>>37687478
No one needs to know how little divine spellcasters like you do that stuff you try to pass for "divine magic". You want to do something usually? Die in my steed, it would be greatly appreciated!
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d2 + 1)

>>37687561
ignore the +1
>>
>>37687633
Not what I was talking about Cromina.
Though I don't think I care THAT much.
>>
>>37685636
*Drake finally makes his way out of the death maze, he is rather bruised and battered, but he seems quite happy with his victory over the beholder*
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

>>37687520
>the Ultimate Human notices his more slender physique and sheds a quiet tear.
I am the Ultimate Elf.
>the Ultimate Elf begins doing magically charged burpees, attempting to levitate over the Log Jammer.
>>
>>37687554
Congratulations, you are hereby granted the title Apprentice of the day, here is a medal on behalf of the Necromancy department.
>>37687520
>grabs his apprentice and Squigly Fred and heads for the guild hall
Alright you two, we got a lot of work to do if we are going to make use of your odd talent for Necrodancing, so come on now.
Huh, somehow read the hobo's name as Frank, guess that's now the name of my now Gorgon apprentice... until he gets a new one fitting his new gender at least.
>>
>>37687633
>slumps down clone body of Cromina
Try this!
>>
>>37687562
I will.

>>37687633
Cromina calm down. Stress will make it worse.

>>37687702
Contract will still affect it. It's working on her soul.
>>
>>37687469
Ah fucking ha. He owes me a favor *holds contract aloft*
>>37687499
Well lets watch it then.
>>
>>37687729
Well, was worth a shot.
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>37687670
Fine, I don't care about YOU either so why don't you just disappear?
>chucks fireball
>>37687729
Don't tell me how should I feel! Geez! Now I understand why Fryia got mad at you that time!
>>37687765
Really? What kind?
>>
>>37687804
I'm trying to keep you from a full turn here.

>>37687780
Yeah thanks for trying.

>>37687765
What kind and how much is it worth?
>>
>>37687765
Tick-tock, tick-tock. We will. As always. As we did before and we will do the next time. Everything is as always. every tick and every tock in its place. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37687554
Wow, congratulations Sonthus! You get an official membership in my class and a free blowjob!
>>
Rolled 14 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>37687804
Very rude. I At-least tried, You seem to be embracing it rather fully. What happened to the Cromina who would have defied this to the last breath? Stop giving in and quit getting mad. How are you going to keep insulting me if you cant even keep your cool to save yourself?
>>
I am back with the coffee. Who won?
>>
>>37687986
I have no idea, but I'll have a cup.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37687675
*moving on, Drake tosses his grappling hook at the mushroom*
>>
>>37688005
Here you go
>>
>>37687986
Sonthus, Apprentice Abjuror

Also Cromina is turning into an Erinyes.
>>
>>37688030
A what now?
>>
>>37688062
Devil version of a Succubus.
>>
>>37687986
Me, I suppose. Yeah, I did win! I won! I came into this challenge a reserved, undetermined whelp! But I walk out of it a MAN! A confident man! I've surpassed the competition, and come first place! That's right, I'm not just an apprentice anymore! I'm THE apprentice!
>>37687888
Just what a man like me has earned, baby!
>>
Hey guys! I wouldn't go to the kitchens or send any apprentices to the kitchens for a bit. There's an army of pix - ohhh the Death Sports!
>>37687804
>>37687847
I'm interrupting something, aren't I?
>>37687603
Well done.
>>37687888
Lucky him. I wouldn't really have expected that of you though, Niamal, but you're free to do as you wish.

Stupid winter weather.
>>
>>37688078
Damn. That's a bad thing, right?
>>37688086
Here is your 25 pounds of coffee for winning.
>>
>>37687896
What? WHAT? Come and say that to my face you-
>flames wither a little
Ahhh, who am I gonna fooling. This thing makes way too sense, I tell ya. I've been way too much of a naughty girl for not expecting this at this point- I mean, I shouldn't have done those experiments on children, for starters. Also slaughtering a whole village worth of people has been a bad move in, in, in insight.
It, it, it *sob* it is gonna end like this, right? Guess I fucking deserved it.
>>
>>37687554
>>37687603
Congratulations! Sonthus is the Apprentice of the Day!

>>37687545
You reappear at the finish line, right behind all of the walls! Krogrr and Brogrr came in second place.

>>37687675
Badass

>>37687691
You successfully elevate past the logs, and onto the tightrope.
>>
>>37688145
Hey Cromina. Coffee?
>>
>>37688101
Yes, Cromina is turning into an Erinyes and you missed the apprentice run off.

>>37688113
Unless you're ok with her being Asmodeus's whore.

>>37688145
At least that is better than anger.
>>
>>37688086
So forward! We need more apprentices like you in the guild!
>>37688101
It's not sex if I just use my mouth, Ivan!
>>
>>37688101
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh it's you. You did quit some damage in the alternate timelines as always. But at least you keep my job interesting. For every tick and ever tock I have to put back in place fills me with joy. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37688182
I am not ok with that at all. what can we do to prevent it?
>>
>>37688229
We're working on it.
>>
>>37688174
saw this?
>>37687608
>>
>>37688176
Nah, it is going to catch fire. I don't know why, everything catches fire- look, i'm fucking weeping flames! And it hurts! A LOT!
>>37688182
Eh. If you say so.
>>
File: 47467662.jpg (179 KB, 748x982)
179 KB
179 KB JPG
Well then. Good to see I didn't miss anything worthwhile.

>>37688145
oh gods what are YOU blubbering on about?
>>
>>37688250
Ok, ok, ok. Is there anything I can do?
>>37688278
>puts on fire proof gear
Hugs?
>>
>>37687847
Its worth cromina easily and a few souls too and a golem body for me.
>>37687880
That we shall mr paradoxical
>>
>>37688287
You did miss Secretus's revival if you know who that is.
>>
>>37688174
Yeah! Do I get a picture on the wall or something?
>>37688113
This is nice I guess... I don't drink coffee.
>>37688287
Nothing worthwhile? I completed the gauntlet flawlessly! I outrank the other apprentices now!
>>
>>37688275
I'm sorry, but I feel we have to kill Tucker after three 1s in a row.
>>
>>37688278
I do.

>>37688317
Coffee


>>37688319
May i see it?
>>
>>37688317
If you must. Careful with the tail, though-yes I have a tail now, don't yank.
>>37688319
Listening. Details.
>>
>>37688182
I try, and fail to parley with those pixies and miss the runoff? Dammit.
And an Erinyes? I...may be able to help. This Asmodius's fault again?
>>37688195
If that's how you want to see it. Also, Ivina for now. I need to fix that, but these pixies' magic is completely foreign from our pixies.
>>37688220
You can't prove anything!
Well you probably can.
In my defense, those Terradons had it coming.
>>
>>37688351
am okay with that, Zirconis sent him to die anyways. I just kinda pity him
>>
>>37688373
Ok
>>37688349
Ok then
>>37688384
Meh, my dad decided to boost my height to 15ft. Stuff like this happens all the time
*hugs Cromina
>>
>>37688415
Did you change genders? Also This is pretty gods damn solid. I can't unravel it.
>>
>>37688417
I know, I feel really bad for him. To come all this way and get the life kicked out of him at the end. Really sad.

Zirconis should be proud he made it this far.
>>
>>37688373
I would let you but its from asmodeus. Its designed for anyone who isn't me trying to read it goes crazy blind or dies. I can negotiate this because its just calling on the favor but if you wish to try enjoy. *holds it out*
>>37688384
There is hope simply.
>>
>>37688415
Sorry Ivina. Besides, you just have to think of it less as sex and more as a motivational tool. It's not like I'm doing it for just anyone!
>>
>>37688484
*takes it* Hmm interesting....... This might work, or horribly backfire. Either way worth a shot.
>>
I, Fabulous Esteban, am happy to have shown up fashionably late! Point me at a challenge, that I may overcome it!
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37688174
I suppose it's time for cardio.
>the Ultimate Elf breaks into a dead sprint at the the tightrope
>>
Rolled 127 (1d131)

So, we're on page 10. I don't know if the remaining apprentices want to continue or call it quits with their lives intact. but I'm going to roll to see how many nameless apprentices entered the course and died offscreen.
>>
>>37688319
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Yes. We shall watch every tick and every tock unravel. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37688415
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Don't fear, don't defend. I have no wrath sway. For as I say, you keep my job just fun. For your travels are so irregular, they never are the same.But know that all you change and save are just in vain. For I turn the wheel of time back again, Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37688468
Zirconis won't care. Just give him a nice death.
>>
>>37688484
What favor. I need to know. It is, like, important that I know.
>>37688428
>mfw she's only 5 feet
-ssssso. You are freakishly tall. But I am cool with that, I guess, since in a couple of days it seems like I'm going to lust after devil cocks.
>>37688415
It is something. About your nametag. It really bugs the hell out of me. But I don't get it.
>>
>>37688574
127/131 deaths
Gentlemen. I believe we succeeded in our goal.

>>37688548
The Ultimate Elf dodges incoming balls just enough to make it to the other side, where he must face the walls.

>>37688547
If you're sure. Tell us your specialties and try your hand at Skipping Stones.
>>
>>37688574
I'm down to keep going. I'm having fun.
>>
>>37688574
A good show then.
>>
>>37688574
Overtime?
>>
>>37688619
Not if I can help it.
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

*after a few tries, Drake's hook catches and he sails across the gap*

Someone link the ghost thread
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37688626
I, Fabulous Esteban, have decided not to undergo the fool's errand that is specialization. For focusing on one or two things would only cause my myriad skills to wither in other areas! I, Fabulous Esteban, will accept nothing less than perfection! These stones of skipping shall be no challenge!
>>
>>37688666
You are an half giant with a club, and your only skill is making coffee. And you tell me you are going to face the Prince of Darkness because you are not cool with me getting what I always deserved?
>>
>>37688651
Ghost thread as usual. We've avoided the janitor's broom for now, but I don't want to rock the boat anymore than we already have.

>>37688634
Alrighty. But your dust storm failed to help you. All the teachers are pissed.

>>37688618
Tucker the Kobold died in glorious battle against a horde of monsters. With broken bones and bloody wounds, he charged forth to slay the beasts behind the walls. And though he took down countless foes, he was finally slain by a mighty cave dragon.

Tucker is immortalized in a statue in the Guild Courtyard.
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37688731
Shitshitshitshitshit
>>
>>37688731
So what happened to jill?
>>
>>37688725
I have learned more than just coffee making my friend. I have perfected the art of making Pierre feel the worst pain he has ever felt in his life
>>
>>37688788
Oh good. We'll get along just swimmingly then, my dear assistant.
>>
>>37688710
You fabulously pass the pond.

>>37688778
You lost your magic. You can try the walls again, or bail like a punk. Once the course is over, you can access magic again.

>>37688771
You narrowly dodge their angry balls and make it to the walls.

>>37688709
You successfully cross the gap.
>>
>>37688458
...Yes. The pixie language I tried to speak is a apparently a slave dialect in their world. They may or may have been terribly offended by me making eye contact with them.
>>37688515
No harm done, Niamal. I may have cast a perception filter on myself, so that it's harder to notice. That's as good a reason as any. I was just surprise.
>>37688581
Are you saying that those Terradons aren't going to be extinct? That's...disappointing.
>>37688619
Pixie magic, and a perception filter to make the, ah, changes less noticeable.
>>37688626
Well, they probably wouldn't have made much progress in the guild anyway.

https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37682566/#37682566
>>
>>37688731
Tick-tock, tick-tock. A shame it is. The Kobold always is my favorite. For such a little guy his courage was so big. But his master won't care the least what happened to the little beats that fought so bravely in his name. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37688841
The fuck?
>>
>>37688709
https://archive.moe/tg/thread/37682566
>>
>>37688788
Well add that to what I said before then, master mageslayer. And then your answer is?
>>37688849
Shit! You too?
>>
Rolled 3 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37688731
>the Ultimate Elf doesn't break stride and continues his sprint at one of the walls.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37688843
What's behind door number 1
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37688843
Ha ha! The outcome was never in doubt! Now watch as I, Fabulous Esteban, navigate this magical labyrinth! Watch now how a true apprentice overcomes what is set before him!
>>
>>37688531
Yes yes yes it may back fire except it can't cause of fine print. Now what race is cromina cause i need to be specific also age too
>>
>>37688875
He might like my coffee?
>>
>>37688581
Tick tock goes the clock hickery dickory dock?
>>
>>37688878
You burst through the first wall effortlessly. 4 remain.

>>37688888
You fall into a pool of water!

>>37688898
Esteban gets lost 20% of the way into the maze.
>>
>>37688841
And your alive again shit.

>>37688849
That'd do it

>>37688907
Ask her. Also clause 237887676876y-ip09.
>>
>>37688946
Yes yes I know but he's an ass I had to let it stand
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37688843
Door 1, Ho!
>>
>>37688917
Eh. Eheh. Eheheh.
You're such an idiot, you know. Good thing I like idiots like you.
>>
>>37688875
I need your race and age
>>
File: suffering.gif (490 KB, 500x270)
490 KB
490 KB GIF
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37688979
>>
>>37688875
Well, I'm female now and that's about it. It's happened before, but that's another story. I managed to get out of the pixie-kitchen invasion before they managed to do anything else.
>>37688917
Gods know everyone else does. Ha!
>>37688946
I regret not asking advice from any Diplomancers. Or copying any of their memories.
>>
Rolled 2 + 1 (1d4 + 1)

>>37688943
This isn't the locker room...
>the Ultimate Elf puts his clothes back on and continues towards another wall.
>>
>>37688984
I shall take that as a compliment. Thank you
>>
>>37688863
Surprised? I knew I would come back, but I never suspected Pierre would be the one to release me. I suppose we'll never know why he did it. Do you have more coffee?
>>37688946
Of course I am. But you've nothing to worry about. All you did was beat me at a game of chess.
>>
>>37688979
You slam into a spike trap!

>>37689017
You then stumble into a puddle of Mystery Sludge!
>>
>Roderick watches the competition quietly...
>>
Rolled 3 (1d4)

>>37688709
*his grappling hook, perhaps a bit to useful on this course, allows Drake to swing across yet another obstacle. He moves on to the Highballs.*
>>
>>37689042
Here you go. Say, have you seen Vex?
>>
>>37688849
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Oh they will. But not by your hand nor spell. For it was to be meteor to cause them all to die. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>37688941
Tick-tock, tick-tock. Do I hear mock? I will have you know this: after hearing this line the hundredth time is making it funnier at all. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37689017
I am very clearly a human- and it is rude to ask a girl her age, oh, hell, who cares, I am 46. Look, I know I look barely 20 years old. Infernal pacts work wonders with the aging process.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37688943
I, Fabulous Esteban, fear that I, Fabulous Esteban, have become hopelessly lost. But fear not! For I, Fabulous Esteban, would never have been selected by my homeland, by my family, if I, Fabulous Esteban, were not truly the best man for the job! I, Fabulous Esteban, have no need of stopping for directions!
>>
>>37689035
You plow through the second wall, and into the midst of an Erinyes!
>>
Rolled 1 (1d4)

>>37688943
>Water
>Witch
>No fish net stockings
[Long scream]
>Climbs from the pool of water shivering from the cold and does her best to cover her self while on continuing
lmao
>>
>>37688978
Can bite us in the ass though.

>>37689024
Yeah, still you aren't the most charismatic guy i know.

>>37689042
Twice, and do you really think i'm buying that? I'm look right at where you want me to look.
>>
>>37689089
Sorry I enjoy yhe nursery rhyme its not mockery more flattery
>>
File: tears.gif (719 KB, 293x182)
719 KB
719 KB GIF
Rolled 4 (1d4)

>>37689048
Should I even bother rolling again?

>>37689109
Uhh, y-you t-too...
>>
>>37689080
Not recently, I believe motherhood has her occupied. Be careful if you see my apprentice. He murdered me in cold blood once already, and is not to be trusted.
>>37689109
You agreed to an infernal pact with consequences such as these?
>>
>>37689167
Seems so
>>
>>37689109
Well dear I will handle this later I must go prepare
>>
>>37689109
Ah Vanity another Erinyes hallmark.
>>
>>37689181
Ok then. Would you like to punch him the balls for you?
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37689123
Female spotted!
>the Ultimate Elf attempts to charm the Erinyes into letting him pass with a magically enhanced full body flex.
>>
>>37689115
Fabulous Esteban is assailed by Veilhex's undead wolves!

>>37689149
>3 1s in a row
Jill falls into a net, and there's a tentacle beast on the other side!

>>37689167
Well, you have to roll 1d100 for Mystery Sludge, but that's a good roll you just made.
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>37689149
...Miss Jill needs clothes...
>Rolling to summon an unrealistically beautiful dress. That's also waterproof.
>>
>>37689196
No. I will deal with him. If he tries to contact you, inform me at once. He is, after all, a murderer.
>>
>>37689042
So...who might you be exactly?
I'm Ivan... er. Ivina.
Soros freaking out isn't a reason not be cordial.
>>37689089
So...setting off a chain reaction in that planet's mantle wasn't enough?
I'll have to step up my game then.
>>37689154
Well, girl now. I still take offense to that.
Besides how was I supposed to now they enslaved 83% of their own population?
>>
>>37689160
Tick-tock, tick-tock. This is what you always claim. But I don't know if truth or not for emotions I disdain. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37689234
Due diligence?
>>
>>37689230
But punching him in the balls is so fun.
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>37689202
Thanks, I made it myself.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37689202
I, Fabulous Esteban, must charm these wolves into accepting me as one of their own! I, Fabulous Esteban, shall no doubt succeed in this undertaking; be it through strength of body, of will, of mind, or of heart! I, Fabulous Esteban shall not fail in my task!
>>
File: Laughing.gif (967 KB, 245x180)
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967 KB GIF
>>37689202
[Screams then moans]
Mfsw I read that
>>
>>37689193
>>37689181
Ahw, shut up you two.Especially the ex-ghost prick.
>>37689251
Mortimer! If you betray Pierre we are not gonna do that anymore! You know. *That*.
>>37689185
Wait! What if someone happens in between?
>>
>>37689234
Tick-tock, tick-tock. I was enough, I let you know, but not the way it was to go. For I protect the eternal status quo. The way it has always been. Tick-tock, tick-tock.
>>
>>37689273
Undead wolves don't work like that, it seems.

If you weren't a moron, you'd know that.
>>
>>37689201
>Erinyes
Sorry, but I'm only into humans.

>>37689273
The wolves pause, confused, but then start eating you.

>>37689266
You are teleported back to the Subyrinth beneath the deathmaze!

>>37689288
Jill is out of the contest, I'm afraid. Perhaps we'll see her again later.
>>
>>37689234
I am Secretus, wizard of the first age and founder of the school of Conspiracy. I made many enemies in life, it is no surprise that some bad blood remain.
>>
>>37689316
I am not going to betray him, I am just going to hit him in the balls to for the bad pun he will make. but if you don't want me to hit him, then fine, I wont
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37689347
Faced with the most heart-rending rejection ever experienced by man or beast, I, Fabulous Esteban, must flee!
>>
>>37689288
....I hope Miss Jill is okay...I liked her...

>>37689316
>Goes up to Cromina.
M-miss Cromina...I-I uhm...
>>
>>37689245
We can't all be omniscient in our spare time. I just managed to overlook that they impose a separate dialect and vocabulary on the enslaved.
>>37689251
We're only allowed to punch him in the groin when he screws up massively.
>>37689330
So, uh. What happens if you...malfunction? Hypothetically speaking.
>>
>>37689316
Trying to keep you on the straight and narrow.

>>37689402
Still.. Pretty big mistake.
>>
>>37689399
Oh, speak boy. You can do nothing to make my situation worse than it is, so speak up and stay clear from the flames.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>37689347
I am the Ultimate Human.
>the Ultimate Elf tries the exact same thing again, strategically placing his hands over his ears as he flexes this time.
>>
>>37689450
>Even as fade to black thing are going on Jill can't help but laugh at that
>>
>>37689440
>You can do nothing to make my situation worse
You said one of the unspeakable words, my friend
>>
>>37689351
That's Scott. He's a deck.

>>37689382
You drag two wolves that are biting each of your legs. They seem surprised.

>>37689450
The Erinyes is sick of your shenanigans. She ties you up and throws you over the wall for the next monster.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d4)

>>37689347
Dang. Well, forward and onward, I guess.
>>
>>37689496
I have a talent for those.
>>
>>37689440
>Stays a safe distance away.
I-I uhm...I b-borrowed one of y-your uhm...books...'m sorry...
>>
>>37689531
you discover Quin's discarded fake moustache
>Item get!
>>
>>37689423
Yes, I know. I just wish things would stop happening when I'm trying to make stew. It's I wonder I still remember the recipe, how many times I've been surprised cooking it. Maybe the recipe is cursed.
>>37689522
That poor elf.
>>
>>37689316
>>37689355
It would hardly be a betrayal. After all, he is a criminal. Who says I'm not in a position to help you as well?
>>
>>37689440
Really?

>>37689496
She did.

>>37689576
Likely.

>>37689586
Common Sense? Asmodeus hates you.



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