LAST TIME(s) ON QUEST QUEST>You are Gartendo, a bard that specializes in songs about people named Brad!>You and your party (An orc, an elf, and a skeleton) find out about an ancient staff called the "Appello" that can change the name of anyone!>You've retrieved an ancient orb from the Goblin King who says it unlocks an ancient tomb!AND NOW YOU'RE UP TO DATE
>Episode 1http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37346691/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37363412/>Episode 2http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37377232/>Episode 3http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37465789/>Episode 4http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37533810/>Episode 5http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37640157/
>>37975556It 's back, woo!
You stand in the middle of a forest, a burned down fortress behind you smelling of roasted goblin. Probably something totally unrelated as to what you did.Anyways, you hold in your hand a strange orb that glows blue in your hand and feels warm to the touch!
>>37975605"Hey..."B'raed says, peeking over at the stone"Somethings goin' on with that thing."And they're right! Something IS going on?
>>37975624Examine the orb.
>>37975624A red fog begins to swirl in the middle of the orb. And in the middle of that fog, you see an ethereal arrow form and point in a direction in front of you.What could it mean?! IS IT A COMPASS POINTING TO SOMETHING?I dunno, probably.What do you do??
>>37975653The color is red, and red is bad. It must be pointing to danger!We should make sure to NOT go wherever it points.
>>37975653Use compass to find ruin and get mad loot.
>>37975701You fool, that way leads ruin!>>37975778And not the good kind of ruin!
SHIT SHIT PS CRASHED GIMMIE A SEC
>>37975895>>37975805>>37975778Your eyes follow where the arrow is pointing to and you notice through a break in the bushes that something is off about that wall....
>>37976206Elves know about plants, right? Is that racist? Whatever. Is that stuff gonna try to strangle us to death if we head on through?There's a bunch of still-smoldering town bits we could clear it out with, if that's what things come to.
>>37976206Find the secret chest!>>37976268Is it bad I thought of vine rape when I saw your comment? Like, I dunno why. Not even horny.
>>37976206Set bushes on fire!
Also, Narrator, are you going to put the link to the thread on Twitter?
>>37976206>>37975605>>37975624>>37975653>>37976206I love you OP with the burning fury of a thousand suns
>>37976206FUck yeah Quest Quest!Look up to what the vines are connected to.
>>37976785Indeed>>37976206Btw way are you okay ?
>>37976268You ask B'raed to see what their elf eyes can see. With a short eye roll, B'raed walks off over to the opening of the cave.
>>37977071Literally the first post that isnt the original you fucknut
B'raed examines it closely, using every elf skill about detecting all things nefarious at their disposal.
>>37977139And with a thumbs up, you're given the all good. Looks like you're just being paranoid.
>>37977164Allright lets head in Watch for pitfalls.
>>37977139>>37977164No vine monster?
>>37977164Better just walk on i-Wait. Oh! You look shocked. Even, horrified? As do Orc-Brad and Skeleton! What on earth...
>>37977247OOOOOOH! Thats what you see. A giant venus fly trap-like creature slowly approaching B'raed from above.That's unfortunate.WHAT DO?
>>37977271uh B'raed above you run? Also toss rock at vine
>>37977271Skeleton is super-effective vs nature!buff skeleton and send her to battle, with orcbrad as support!
>>37977271SING SONG FOR VINE BRAD !
>>37977271Scream "tentacle monster"!Send skelly to pluck elf-Brad from the creature's grip. She can't do lewd stuff and has no flesh for the trap to eat so she should be immune.
>>37977271Sing to Brad vine
>>37977271SING A SONG!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qf8kvZxH_UU
>>37977271SAVE ELFTRAP, KILL FLYTRAP
>>37977271Trap monsters? On my trap elf?
>>37977271Call in Ackbar. This shit is his specialty.
>>37977164>Looks like you're just being paranoid.Further paranoia dictates that the cave itself is a decoy like we're doing the Tomb of goddamn Horrors, and the entrance the orb is pointing toward is actually somewhere overhead after climbing the vines.>>37977319>Scream "tentacle monster"!Maybe a little disingenuous, but it's the thing that's most likely to get her to get out of the way on short notice, so it might very well work.
>>37977344>>37977347B'raed does not have a penis.
>>37977319>>37977379Techniclly speaking, a venus flytrap IS a 'tentacle monster'. Just not the kind that rapes.
>>37977305Modifying: let Orcbrad use skeleton as weapon. buff both by going METAL AS FUCK
>>37977271I WARNED YOU. I SAID THE ARROW POINTED TO DANGER>>37977385That's some hardcore denial.
>>37977417The creature grabs B'raed, quick as anything you've ever seen! No matter how hard they struggle, B'raed is caught!
You quickly look at Orc-Brad and you both nod in understanding. He runs over and grabs Skeleton...
>>37977878AND ORC BRAD JUST PICKS UP SKELETON AND RUNS FULL FORCE AT THE PLANT!YOU SING A SONG AS HE RUNS AWAYWHAT SONG DO YOU SING?! WHAT DOES IT DO?! WHAT WILL HE DO?!
>>37978073Go go power rangers!
>>37978073>WHAT SONG DO YOU SING?!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xhrBDcQq2DM>WHAT DOES IT DO?!WRECK SHIT UP >WHAT WILL HE DO?!WRECK SHIT UP
>>37978073Seconding >>37978153, Queen has availed us in the past.
>>37978175Causes OrcBrad and Skelly to combine into a super powerful orc-skeleton.
>>37978153>>37978203Queen on metal as fuck and with a skeleton as weapon? let's start dethroning gods after the test run
>>37978271>"Ork-Brad, we must activate... SKELETORK!"
>>37978488I vote we sing this song.
>>37978488You sing a fantastic ballad of the legend of skeleton man, from days of yore! Suddenly, Orc Brad and Skeleton disappear in an explosion of smoke...
>>37978845AND IN THEIR PLACE IS THIS MAGNIFICENT THING. It seems that Skeleton and Orc-Brad have merged into some sort of Metabeing!
>>37978912The Skeletorc runs full speed toward the creature holding B'raed, it's skeletorc fists clenched!
>>37978912Oh gods, what horror have we wrought.
>>37978973And it punches the plant so hard, B'raed flies right off screen! The creature makes a terrible hiss as The Skeletorc's fist sinks down into its sickly green tissue!
>>37978983You know this means that Orc Brad has been in Skeleton before us.
>>37979053Now, how do we unmerge them?
>>37979053Gartendo grabs elf-brad as she falls. We carry her like a princess to the nearest body of water to wash the digestive juices out of hair.
>>37978983I know... it.. is beautiful. Skeletork...!Gentlemen, we created something for the ages
>>37979053I'll back >>37979119 but change the pronouns to male.
>>37979164Orc-brad referred to her as a girl. I think that's what elf-Brad wants.
>>37979164No need for rudeness.>>37979119Fourthing.
>>37979119>implying anything Gartendo does won't fly in his face
>>37979230>>37979242>Missing the joke
>>37979292Uh... I d-don't get it?
>>37979292The joke is.. that she has a penis?
>>37979372>>37979292Looks we have to do a second president test!
The creature lay dead and defeated on the ground, The Skeletorc stranding triumphant over it.Shit thats cool yo
>>37979464Bad idea, as I'm not in the mood to get punched.
I believe our trap elf is really a reverse trap trap
>>37979587How does skelly feel about having orc-Brad in her pelvis?
>>37979587Ask why he has a visible bulge.
>>37979119You grab B'raed out of the air, her cloak flying off in the process and cradle in your arms like a pretty princess.+10 smoof points to you, ma man.WHAT DO?
>>37979665First, find out what became of her cloak. Second, let her down gently.
>>37979665Stare into her eyes and smirk.
>>37979665Squeeze the buttjust a lil
>>37979665Clearly visible tits. She's a grill.
>>37979665>Spin and use the momentum to have her kick Skeleton off of Gnakgnak.
>>37979665looks like Gartendo is copping a feel right there.
>>37979730See >>37979621>>37979665Give her a smile.
>>37979665Avoid incoming punch
>>37979793With half-lidded eyes.
>>37979739Nah, traps can totally have A-cups.
>>37979665Give her a wink and your best smile.
>>37979739It's like you never been on the internet.
>>37979864That is not how you romance the trap.>>37979793This is though.
>>37979665Be a gentlebrad and >>37979793COMMENCING trapromance
>>37979730YOU CAN'T DENY YOU'RE A BARD, I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.With breathtaking skill, you work those buns as if your life depended on it. It does look rather relaxing
>>37980495THAT'S NOT JUST A LITTLE BIT!I'm not angry though.
>>37980495No you fool, we were supposed to take it slow! Just a smile!
>>37980495What where we doing anyway?What about the tunnel? What about skelly and the orc?
>>37980495and in one fell swoop, your ass is kicked hard into the cave beyond the vines. But something was different about this beating... it seemed... lighter than usual? And with a hint of hesitation! You might be getting to B'raed yet, kid.Anyways, you're in the cave. WHAT DO?
>>37980551Recover and look around.
>>37980551Well, good enough. We'll have to work on that later.First, we need to examine our surroundings.
>>37980551Check out the acoustics, and follow the echoes.
>>37980551>Cast light>look around
>>37980551Use singing for ecolocation. Create a mental map.What do you mean bards can't ecolocate?
>>37980573>>37980604>>37980606Sight's for yellow bellies.
>>37980551Follow the arrow!But before that, gather your party. Dungeon adventure time! Check your fifty feet of rope and ten feet poles, iron rations, climbing gear, water flasks, backacks, tents, torches, flint, tinder, compass, mapping tools....wait, I don't think we have any of that stuff.
>>37980681Let's just use the orb as a proxy tool.
>>37980638So, >>37980583 and >>37980635?
>>37980711Nah, two of those are mine. That's why I didn't link >>37980638
>>37980766Uh? >>37980635 was me??
>>37980809Yeah, and >>37980583 and >>37980638 were me.
You look around and immediately see a large door in front of you, covered in runes and with a spherical indent in the middle of the door.
Your team forms behind you as the orb vibrates in your hand! What do you do?!
>>37980999Yo skelebrad You ok?
>>37980999have Skelebrad put orb in door
>>37980999PUT OUR DICK IN THE DOOR
>>37980999A) Put orb in indent.B) Put dick in indent.
>>37980999touch the door
>>37980999Sweet trips brahPress the vibrator against elf Brad's crotchNeed to test how much he likes us
http://strawpoll.me/3613168GETCHER HOT OPINIONS HERE
>>37980999Put dick in door. If that fails, put in the orb.
>>37980999Use the orb in indentation.Hey skeletork are you eating properly? I can kind of see you skull.
>>37980999Use our bald head to open the door!
Brb, gonna make the concept of Mighty Morphin' Skeletork into money
>>37981057Poor OrcBrad :c
Who's the bigger Tsundere, Gnakgnak or B'raed?
BRB GUISEGONNA GRAB SOME 'ZA
>>37981247Don't forget the Piz.>>37981199Pic related
>>37981289>>37981731So when the inevitable date happens, what we gonna sing?
>>37981952the only logical choice https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raNGeq3_DtM
>>37981952WHAT IS LOVE?
>>37981952>"TURN AROUND B'RAED EYES"
>>37981952Only correct answerhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nf0oXY4nDxE
>>37981952>anything other than QueenCome on, guyshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zO6D_BAuYCI
>>37982256Eh, it's too clingy now that I think about it.
>>37981039>>37981040>>37981064You lower your pants and approach the door. It doesn't fit too well, but you make it work.
>>37982568Well hey man, you win some, you lose some.
>>37982589NO WAY.Well... I guess fuck me then. You opened the door with your dick. Way to go. what now?
>>37982620Look over your shoulder and wink seductively.Forget to zip your pants.
>>37982620Put our dick away and then enter doorway.
>>37982642Seconded. Ask skelly-ork to see into the darkness with night vision or something too, i dunno
>>37982642This but pull pants back up, it might get bitten by someone unfriendly.>>37982620
>>37982620>Look at party's reaction in the reflection of the orb to make the next scene harder to draw for the QM.
>>37982642yes>>37982712you're a piece of shit, I can appreciate that
>>37982620HOLY FUCK IS OUR DICK A SKELETON KEY?
>>37982620please let be treasure!
>>37982654You enter the doorway, casting a long shadow into the open, musky room.And somewhere... in the back... you see a figure...TH-TH-TH-THATS ALL, FOLKS! TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE THRILLING CLIMAX!
>>37982620>>37982642Give them the grin of YOUTH to compliment the thumbs up as well!
>>37982890OK, goodnight. You are doing god's work, anon.
>>37982890>filename>not DUN-DUN-DUN.pngThanks for running anyway!
>>37982890gasp!our evil(?) brother!(sister?)
>>37982890Thread archived! Keep doing good work, anon!
>>37983057Idiot. Clearly it is one of the crabmen.
>>37983097worse, a Gartendo Bard.
>>37982890>Opens door with dick>TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR THE THRILLING CLIMAX!So what your telling me is door porn
I just realized. He opened the door with his Knob.
>>37984221Must've used a lockprick.