EPISODE 7THE THRILLING CONCLUSION LAST TIME(s) ON QUEST QUEST>You are Gartendo, a bard that specializes in songs about people named Brad!>You and your party (An orc, an elf, and a skeleton) find out about an ancient staff called the "Appello" that can change the name of anyone!>Your party has discovered an ancient tomb locked away in a forest!>Also, Skelly and Orc-Brad have merged to become the Skeletorc!AND NOW YOU'RE UP TO DATE
>Episode 1http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37346691/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37363412/>Episode 2http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37377232/>Episode 3http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37465789/>Episode 4http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37533810/>Episode 5http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37640157/>Episode 6http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37975556/
You and your party peek into the newly unlocked tomb after you shimmied it open with your dick. YOUR DICK.Anyways. It's dark as shit in there. But suddenly....
>>38245682TORCHES LIGHT UP THE CAVERN! They light up two at a time, each pair revealing more and more as they go up and end at a large throne, with a figure atop it.And what could that be that the figure is holding?!What do you do??
>>38245723take a minute to adjust/groom yourselves. it's a SHOWDOWN and you want to look your best
>>38245723prepare for action!
>>38245869>>38246061AWESOMEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3RB_56WziAYou guys start preppib, flexin, and flauntin. You make sure that you look your absolute best for this... battle, maybe???YOU GET A BONUS TO ALL IMPRESS/INTIMIDATE/SEDUCE CHECKS. WAY TO GO.What now??
>>38246097Ask the CLEARLY A STATUE what it's holding.Then realize it's a statue and cannot talk, thus defeating our bonuses.
>>38246097Every proper adventurer knows that you don't put the actual important thing on a big statue. It's probably just there to be really impressive; the real tomb (and thus the delicious loot and/or mummy) is bound to be around the back of the staircase.Should mention that the thread is up on twitter too, I think.
>>38246131You call out to the statue and inquire what it's holding. Unfortunately, it seems to be one of those lame, not talking statues. Oh well. Would you like to try to get closer...????
>>38246293>Seduce the statue into giving up what it is holding.
>>38246293Challenge it to a rock-off, it's holding a microphone.
>>38246293no.throw pebbles at its face until it stops pretending to be not alive.
>>38246355And make sure to tell it not to cheat and use the sweet pyrotechnics that are probably part of those torches. Yes, it'd be awesome, but it's hardly sporting.
>>38246293We must make love to the statue, to show we are the dominant Bard around here!That or a rock off.
wait.is there an inscription on it? does it say... Brad?
>>38246355You plant your feet, and in a grand voice shout out a challenge to a rock off! After all, it's holding.... wait... what IS that staff?!
>>38246659WHO'S THAT POKEMON?
>>38246659You've seen this before! It's the Apello! The famed staff that the ancient sorcerer wielded that could change anyones name!!But that means that the person holding it is...
At the mention of "rock off", the figures eyes open, revealing glowing red pupils... It's whole body begins to stir, it's grip tightening on the staff...
>"I've payed my dues..."You hear it ring out as it leans forward, its eyes glowing brighter and brighter.>"Time after time...."
>>38246832>"And bad mistakes..."You feel the power swell around him, as if all of your bradbard-y powers are being sucked up by his sheer presence!>"I've made a few..."
>>38246935>"I'VE HAD MY SHARE OF SAND KICKED IN MY FACE, BUT I'VE COME THROUUUUUGHHHH!"He belts out into the staff, and it amplifies his power ten-fold! The sound waves rocketing toward you!!WHAT DO YOU DO??
>>38247017Bring the band in and PICK THAT SONG UP!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04854XqcfCY
>>38247017Obtain a Bicycle and sing about how you want to ride it where you like.
>>38247017WE MUST MATCH HIM, PREPARE THE BAND! WE SHALL SING WITH ALL OUR MIGHT, AND SEDUCTION!
>>38247082>>38247069>>38247067>>38247064TOUGH SHIT, BECAUSE THAT BLAST WAS SO GOD DAMNED POWERFUL THAT IT SENT YOUR GOATEED-ASS FLYING ACROSS THE ROOM.Like, DAMN! This guy is powerful. I'd even say his power levels hover around the high thousands!
>>38247150You bounce across the floor and skid to a halt next to your team, who are busy staring in awe at the sorcerer.You are DEFINITELY out matched here, bud. It was a good run. Better just pack up now and go home. Who needs an all-powerful staff and eternal glory anyways?Wat do?
>>38247195NEVER GIVE UP, NEVER SURRENDER! WE ISSUED A CHALLENGE, WE SHALL NOT RETREAT! GRIT THOSE TEETH AND SING WITH ALL YOUR FURY!!!
>>38247195Mother. Fuckin' A capella.
>>38247195Harness the poser of true love in face of adversity!"Well, I'm not the world's most physical guy..."https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nVXmMMSo47s
>>38247195Who needs eternal glory? WE DO! sing a song to summon every brad in the world! Create the All-Brad Rock Orchestra! Use our powers combined to beat this rock god!
>>38247195>Ask Brae'd to become your instrument
>>38247374>>38247360>>38247337You look deep into B'raed's eyes and ask them to be your instrument
>>38247597>Roll to convey our intentions!
>>38247582>"....dude what the fuck are you talking about?"IT SEEMS YOUR INTENTIONS ARE LOST ON B'RAED! WILL YOU TRY TO EXPLAIN BEFORE THE SORCERER ATTACKS AGAIN?
>>38247671No just sing you fool!
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>38247671Yes!
>>38247671Go with the emotional appeal. The Sorcerer has super magical amplification cheating powers from the staff, but all of us only have each other!We're awesome as fuck, but even one awesome and totally modest bard can't do it alone.
The Sorcerer floats down the stairs as you try to find the words to say to B'raed, his eyes glowing a blood red!HURRY! I NEED SPECIFICS! WHAT DO YOU DO??!
>>38247854Grab B'raed's whatever-is-down so, but angle yourself such that the resulting punch sends you flying into Statue Freddie
>>38247854SEDUCE THE STATUE!
>>38247904oh my god yes
>>38247904>whatever-is-down sowhatever is down there*
>>38247904Seems like a plan.
and we die the end.
>>38247904Wait, B'raed doesn't like it when we do that. Let's try it on Gnaketonak's bone.
>>38248215>Gnakeletonak*>y'know, the skeleton-orc
>>38247854Use your bradbard powers to turn her into a guitar.No, better yet. Turn B'raed AND skeletorc into a guitar.By your powers combined, pick up that song and bring the house down!
>>38248357We'd have to get the Appellomancer's staff first, and doing that to her would be evil...
>>38247854>>38247904>>38247923>>38247962>>38247983And make sure you let out a high pitched screech from the resulting pain. The sort rock-and-roll songs have sometimes.
>>38247904I wanna play her like a lute
>>38247904Well, you're a brave man. A stupid, stupid, brave man. We've seen this before. We know what's going to happen.
>>38248672Is Freddie blushing?
>>38248647It's her gender identity scrubbb
>>38248672And wouldnt you know it, the same thing happens.Well, if theres ANYTHING you can say about B'raed, its that they're predictable.
>>38248672>>38248751JUST AS PLANNED!
>>38248782>>38248751>>38248418A firm hit from B'raed sends you flying toward the sorcerer! As you're sailing toward them, you let out a crazy cool rock-and-roll wail! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr9ie2J2690#t=23s [Embed](0:23)WHAT IS YOUR PLAN?!
>>38248867Steal the Apello as we crash through the statue!
>>38248867Go for the mustache. The Appello may be a powerful amplifier, but there won't be much left to amplify if we cut off the true source of his power.
>>38248867Throw all of our power into the wail. Try to shatter the stone sorcerer with the sound of our wail.We didn't think this through very well, did we?
>>38248920 I think we were planning to crash through the statue, thus breaking it and defeating it
>>38248906>>38248920A mix of these. Distract the sorcerer with our sweet ass wail, then grab the Appello along out flight.
Fuck yeah! Quest quest!
This.This is the face of a man who will do anything for power.
>>38248906>>38248920You crash into the statue! But upon doing so, you find out that it's not so much a statue as it is some sort of fleshy, undead lich!
>>38249290And with that, the Apello goes crashing to the floor!
>>38249315QUICK, GRAB THAT SHIT AND BAIL!
>>38249315Grab it and back the fuck up! We can beat him now, but we need our band to back us up.
>>38249290I guess that explains the sunken cheekbones, at least.>>38249315Alright, you cheating bastard. Let's go.Time to remind this lich where he belongs.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rY0WxgSXdEE
>>38249315Only one thing left to do now. We need to...SHOOT TO THRILL! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JEKwQmahMKM And play it agaaaaiiiiiin! I liked this quest and would like to see more of it!
>>38249315GRAB AND RUNSING A VICTORY SONG AS YOU GO
>>38249550Seconded, but accompanied by a short, taunting jig.
He turns mid air and lands on you with a thud, the Apello crashing in the distance as your party watches in horror!The Sorcerer grabs you and looks at you closely>"ARE YOU HAPPY? ARE YOU SATISFIED?!" He sings straight into your soul!
>>38249467...and before it comes up, Liches are a no-go because they're doing it to try and cheat death. Skeletons are a-okay because they died and then got reanimated.Don't worry, skelebrad, ain't nothin' against you.
>>38249769>"HOW LONG CAN YOU STAND THE HEAT?!"His eyes glow dangerously bright! You start to see double as he drains away your energy!
>>38249769YOU DON'T NEED YOUR SHIRTSlip out of his grasp, grab the staff, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!
>>38249803OVER POWER HIM! SING STRAIGHT FROM YOUR SOUL! CLASH WITH HIM, AND PROVE SUPERIOR!!!
>>38249769>No, but easy come, easy go. Will you let me go?
>>38249803It feels as if your soul is being chipped away with each note! Your eyes start to close, all of your energy nearly gone! You feel as if you could say (or sing) one LAST thing before you slip away!WHAT IS IT?! BETTER MAKE IT COUNT?!
>>38249843>>38249830This, I support this as being the last thing we say.
>>38249803>Kiss him with all our passion and tongue!
>>38249830hehehehehop here, that's a good one.
>>38249843B'raed! Grab the Apello and use its power with your lovely singing voice to force him off of us!
>>38249843>The show must go onhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t99KH0TR-J4
>>38249843>Easy come, easy go, will you let me go, Brad?
>>38249918>"Braddy Mercury">suddenly, bara harem orgy
>>38249830You part your lips and weakly sing out the one line that comes to you...
>>38250192Immediately, the Apello shoots up and floats over to you! It stands by you and the sorcerer, hovering in mid air. The sorcerer looks absolutely shocked! WHAT DO YOU DO?!
>>38250216Grab the Apello!>I'm just a poor boy from a poor family
>>38249830>tricking him into feeding our energy back to us by baiting him into the secondary role of a call-and-response2tricky>>38250216Reach up and claim our destiny.
>>38250216TAKE THE APELLO! It recognises its true master!
>>38250216>I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me
>>38250216Grab the Apello and ask>"So what now, Braddy Mercury?"
>>38250216>Hold out hand for Appello, but do not grab it, that'd soil its innocence.
>>38250216CONTINUE SINGING! Grab it and sing your strength back!
>>38250216"Too late, my time has comeSending shivers down my spine"
Sorry guise, ate some food. Back now.
>>38250258>>38250260YOU REACH FOR THE APELLO, THE TINIEST MOVEMENT TAKING ALL YOUR ENERGY!THE SUSPENSE IS PALPABLE!YOU COULD PALP IT!
>>38250914AND WITH ONE TOUCH, YOU FEEL THE POWER SURGE THROUGH YOUR BODY!You shoot up into the air, the raw energy from the Apello keeping you afloat. Your clothes burn away to reveal a rocking ensemble!QUICK! WHAT DO YOU SING?!
>>38250914PALP THE SHIT OUT OF IT
>>38250989The song that never ends.Duh.
>>38250989YOU'LL COWARDS DON'T EVEN SMOKE CRACK
>>38250989"Can't Stop Me Now"- Queenhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pDMjgckNlz0
>>38250989A fiery love song to warm B'raed's icy heart
>>38251055>>38251075>>38251100We also need to do the motions: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bkzsoJf-UsA
>>38250989>>38251055I guess this, though I would prefer to sing "The Show Must Go On".
>>38251055With a wicked grin, you pull in the Apello close and belt out "CUZ I'M HAVIN A GOOD TIME, HAVIN A GOOD TIME!"And with that, you send out notes more powerful than you've ever sung before!
>>38251170Your party looks on, absolutely shocked! I'm no good at reading emotions, but I'm sure they're blushing for good reasons!
>>38251198Look at that blush. Elf Brad wants us!
>>38251258Who wouldn't when we're like this >>38251170She wants to have a good time too.
>>38251389The bard of time cometh.
>"I'M A SHOOTIN STAR LEAPIN THROUGH THE SKIES LIKE A TIGER DEFYING THE LAWS OF GRAVITYYYYYY!"Each note gets more and more powerful as it travels through the room! They slam into the sorcerer with the force of 1000 battering rams!You've got 'em on the ropes! What now??
>>38251579>Change his name to brad and tell him to surrender
>>38251579KEEP GOING, KEEP SINGING, CHANGE HIS NAME TO BRAD AND MAKE HIM OUR BITCH!
>>38251579Use the power of the Apello to rename him Braddy Mercury. Offer him a place in the band as (backup) singer
but he's evil u guise
>>38251602>and tell him to surrenderWhat a CHEAP TRICK
>>38251740I don't get it.
>>38251579I'm a racing car passing by like LADY GODIVAI'm gonna go Go GOThere's no stopping MEEEEEEEEEEBURNING THROUGH THE SKIIIIES Yeeaah200 DEGREES that's why theyCall me Mr. Faren-HEEEIIIIITI'M TRAVELLING AT THE SPEED OF LIIIGHTI wanna make a supersonic man outta yooouuu!
>>38251620I vote for this.
FUCK FUCK FUCKPOWER OUTONE SEC
>>38251602Finally, you try out the fabled powers of the Apello. Turns out, the legends were true. With it, you're able to rewrite the fabric of reality and changed his name, his very being and all who his is.... to Brad.Whats your next move, rockstar?
>>38252161Road trip to the next concert
>>38252161What else but to ROCK OUT!
>>38252161RECRUIT TO PARTYWORLD TOUR ROAD TRIP LET'S GO
>>38252251Have B'raed sing it.
sing the evil out of him
>>38252261>>38252251>>38252407Well, looks like you did it, kid. You've traveled far, got the Apello, and not only defeated the boss, but made him your friend.Looks like this journey is comin to an end! What will you do next??
>>38252638Don't you think it's obvious? Drop down onto one knee, and propose to Elf Brad.
>>38252638Conquer the world!
>>38252638Separate Skelly and Orc-Brad then take the band on a WORLD TOUR! Conquer all we see with our beautiful voice and swaying hips (and changing all who oppose us into brads)!
>>38252638Marry Elf Brad while going on a World tour.
>>38252638>realize orcbrad and skelly are still fused>unfuse/tear apart orcbrad and skelly
>>38252638>Put away the Apello, and ask B'raed if she would like to go out with you. Tell her we think she's pretty when she blushes and even prettier when she has that demonic firelit grin on her face.
>>38252638Tour the world and bring your songs to every ear, be it round, pointed or otherwise!
>>38252638World Tour, hook up with B'raed, eventually have the band split when things fall apart, do a couple of duet tours with Braddy Mercury, then retire to an elven kingdom and drink ourselves into stupor longing for our lost love, reuniting with her by chance and finally settling down for our golden years.
>>38252638fuck bitches, get money
>>38252849... Don't elves have vastly longer lifespans than humans?
fuse Braddy and B'raed because trios are just the best
>>38252638unfuse orcbrad and skelebrad. Then the worldtour can begin.
>>38252747With one word of song into the Apello, you're able to rend Orc-Brad from Skelly, and they become their normal, happy selves!
>>38252674>>38252762You hold out your arm and give B'raed your most charming look....
>>38253312>"Eeeehhhh. Why not? I suppose you'll never give up either way."She laughs as she takes your arm.I'LL TAKE THAT AS A WIN!
>>38253355FUCK YES!!!! WE GOT THE GIRL, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED EVERYONE!!!
>>38253355WE DID IT /TG/ WE FUCKING DID IT EVERYONE, YOU DESERVE A SLAP ON THE BACK AND ORAL SEX TO WHATEVER KIND OF GENITALIA YOU HAPPEN TO POSSESS
>>38253422I sexually identify as a beaker full of mercury.Take a swig faggot.I fucking dare you.
>>38253453You are literally my fetish mateYou gonna be so dry the moon'll look at you and go damn motherfucker, you dry
>>38253453Sexually identify, or actually are? Two big differences...and if you just pour mercury on your junk to finish the gag...well then both you and whoever goes down on you are going to have a bad time.
>>38253606Typical Social Justice Elemental. I raise a query or concern and you just throw around labels and say I hate your identity or actual physical circumstances.Choke on a...hold on...mercury...so...hmmmGo get stuck in a thermometer!Now than, onto Brad Barding
Well, that's it folks. You all walk out of the tomb, the rest of the party making acquaintances with the sorcerer while you and B'raed laugh and joke around.I've never seen a more perfect ending than this.Thanks for watching, everyone! I hope you ha-
>>38253774>"THAT'S THEM, OFFICER! The orc that sexually assaulted me at my bar and his accomplices!"The barkeep says, tears in his eyes and he pulls a blanket over his shoulders.>"Alright, you five. You're coming with me!"The gruff officer in the front says, his two body guards holding multiple manacles.
>>38253774OR IS IT!?
>>38253811YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSTHE SHOW GOES ON
>>38253774>dat cutoffOh no.
>>38253811>EVERYBODY, CHEESE IT! Rename the guards Brad and Sing them into a stupor
>>38253837OH MY GOD
>>38253837I should have known, Gartendo was doing too many things right.
>>38253822>>38253837God fucking dammit.Anyway, thanks for the quest QM!
>>38253837Quest ended? Really? Were the guards immune to the Apello? I call railroading!
I love it, thanks for the thread Man, I hope you do more.
>>38253837Hurrah!So when's the next quest?I MUST KNOW!
Thanks everyone, I had a blast! Quest Quest will probably continue at some point in the future with a brand new character you guys make and a totally new story! Keep up with the twitter for any announcements. You all rock.
>>38253837Good Show OP, hope you run another quest sometime. Maybe we can have cameos from Quest Quest.
>>38254067Definitely looking forward to Quest Quest 2.0!I'll check the twitter for updates.
>>38254067Thank you, OP! This one was hilarious. Btw, I have a special request...drawn smut drawn smut drawn smut plz plz plz?
>>38254069>>38254124>>38254131:")>>38254195too many smut projects already bruh
>>38254218You wouldn't happen to have a tumblr where you display these requests, would you?
Can someone archive?
>>38254754>>38254764Never fear, I've just done it!
>having to resort to using a magical item for victorypoor show