>>38401494
PC’s were to be approximately middle aged white men working white/blue collar jobs. The character sheets themselves were pretty simplistic, consisting of name, occupation, and a short background that explains why they're into fantasy sports. Oh, and the Wife Factor. In this stereotypical universe, each of the PC's had to have something that would prevent them from enjoying sports during their time off - we jokingly called this the Wife Factor, although it could be kids, a girlfriend, or even an obnoxious housemate. We had ruled that you could only gain power from/influence games you could actually observe, so the Wife Factor represented the difficulty of actually watching the game without interruption. High Wife Factor (WF)? Asked to take out the garbage in the middle of an exciting play. WF could be managed by taking time to humor your family etc so that they wouldn't bother you, and was exacerbated by watching games or revealing your obsession too often.

This takes us to our player characters:
>Balding sports coach who used to play college sports (me)
>Handsome next door neighbor accountant who bet on fantasy leagues
>Janitor who often watched sports inside his office rather than clean (and had a rather nasty trick up his sleeve, more on that later)
>Very normal office worker who had earned his last few promotions through successfully beating his boss in their office fantasy league

>>38401747
After character creation came the draft, the most important part of Fantasy Fantasy Sports Sports. Our DM (we called him the Announcer for F2S2) had randomly generated 12 teams of 13 or so players each, sorted by their relative quality within their team. PCs rolled for priority, and drafting began in that order until each PC had 16 players to make up their fantasy team. The point values of each player was then revealed, and that became the PCs SPORTS stat, the most valuable resource in the game. It was then that the Announcer actually explained to us the monstrosity of a sport he had created.

To keep things interesting, the Announcer has created an extensive set of tables to generate plays - just generic plays, abstracted away from any one sport in particular... I distinctly remember one play in which a player challenged another to a game of chess, beat him, and was rewarded with rudimentary latent magic powers which he used to incinerate the player currently holding the point ball (PB). Imagine Mornington Crescent and you'll understand how the average game was designed to go. What actually happened surpassed expectations. Each game was to continue until 3-4 plays had been completed (the winner of each play likely scoring a point), or one team was rendered incapable of continuing.

Should I keep going?

>Up next, that fucker next door

Dont wanna disrupt story but op plz no kill

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>>38401494

Ah lovely, I didn't miss it! I'll get some snacks!

>>38403672
Also I'll be very dissapointed if we cannot replicate and/or remake this game into a typeset. Because right now, I already want to play.

>>38402143

Important to note:
Gameplay proceeded in two stages: Prep and Game Day. Prep consisted of your free time (excluding work events) which you could spend preparing for Game Day and trying to reduce your Wife Factor by doing chores, playing with the kids, pleasing your wife, and other sundries. The Announcer also rolled random event tables to provide challenges during this time. I'll cover Game Day in a bit. (next post will be longer and actually contain the promised content, writing as I go from memory)

>>38403144
>>38403672
Glad to see people are enjoying it.

>>38403793
Actually, the DM's an obsessive record keeper, and could probably produce the random generators and rule set if given enough time.

>>38403963
OH BOY.

>>38403963
To continue where I left off:

During the first Prep phase, we were all given an elevated Wife Factor (we also called it wife aggro, just in case I slip into slang) to represent our families awareness that the fantasy season was starting up. Things went pretty normally - the janitor paid his alimony early with some extra money, the office worker banged his wife and rolled reasonably well, and I did all my chores to the best of my ability... then it was the (next door neighbor) accountant's turn. After taking his kids out to the movies, the bastard started seducing my wife. Not even secretly, either, just fucking mowing the lawn without a shirt and flashing half naked in front of the window facing our house. Unfortunately for me, I had failed a few of the chore rolls and had written in that my marriage was somewhat unhappy, so the wife swooned under his caresses, only to resist at the last possible moment. The Announcer made it very clear that it was only a matter of time before she fell to his boyish charms, so I was pretty much careening into NTR territory. All was not lost though, as if I did well enough in the fantasy sports, I could manipulate reality until he was no longer a threat.

Little did I know the power of RNG

>Up next, Game Day

>>38404442
The rules for Game Day were pretty simple: if you wanted to be able to influence the game, you had to be watching or listening to it. Influence could be accomplished by channeling SPORTS energy through a totem of some kind (baseball bat, soccer ball, machine gun - anything that could conceivably be sports equipment) or by focusing on a single player in your roster, whom you could empower or otherwise control. Since the league was just starting out, we basically had no influence.

I'd like to point out that part of what really sold the game was that Announcer actually describing the game as if he was a sports announcer on location. Additionally, the teams playing in each game were randomly determined before hand, and players were not told this prior to draft. This really bit me in the ass, as I had no players in either team, while the accountant and office worker had several players each. Lets call them team A and B for now.

The particular details of the first game are lost to a haze of laughter, but I remember two plays in particular (I think, my chronology is a bit fucked in these parts). In the second quarter, team A had suffered heavy losses after a failed play involving razing crops and salting the earth to deny team B their supply train, but made a major comeback after their captain (who had been struck by a crossbow bolt fairly early on) was revived as an unholy abomination after his corpse was smashed through one of the goals (the wreckage looked like an inverted cross, according to the Announcer) and brainboiled a few team B players. It ended up being a close game after team B united in a synchronized exorcism involving gatorade and a football to banish the demon from the playing field. Ultimately team B won, and with them, the accountant came out on top.

>Next time, my unfaithful wife and Disneyland

>>38404946
Prep time came again, and the Announcer rolled the challenge table and got something like 'taxing weekend.' The accountant, being the asshole that he was, used his newfound SPORTS empowerment to up his GAME and utterly seduce my wife. Apparently his SPORTS-enhanced sexual techniques were mind blowing, and the Announcer was forced to rule that the accountant could - at will - increase my Wife Factor by 50%. Which he did. The result being that I had 'forgotten' I had promised to take the whole family to Disney land for the weekend, and would therefore lose all but 2 days of prep time and wouldn't be home for Game Day. I ended up spending what little Prep points I had on acquiring a portable TV to secret into the park.

Meanwhile, the Janitor was rapidly passing notes to the Announcer, who looked at him with a mixture of disgust, horror, and bemusement. His character sheet was passed back and forth a couple of times between them, and a lot of hasty scribbling was done. The Office worker began channeling his SPORTS empowerment into personal gain, winning about 2k in the lottery and bidding on legendary sports equipment on ebay.

The Disney Land segment is a little involved, so I'm gonna give it a whole post.

People still there?

Keep going OP, this is a neat tale

>>38405455
Lurking and loving

>>38405617
Alright, great. Working on the Disney Land segment while I eat, might be some delay.

>>38405455
Game Day rolls around with me in Disney Land, and of course I have 7 players playing in this particular match up - and evenly split, so I'm set up to gain a lot of SPORTS points before the day is done. Unfortunately, I'm trapped hanging out with my wife and children in Disney Land and so not only can I not affect the game in progress, I can't gain any SPORTS empowerment without being able to properly view and revere the game. I manage to lose my family in the gift shop and tune in to catch the second quarter.

Once again, the details the game itself are pretty fuzzy, but I remember the basic way things went. The Janitor continued to pass notes to the Announcer, which were met with requests for dice rolls and a lot of hushed, angry whispering. The Office worker had managed to win a baseball bat and was chanting feverishly in his home office for the divine pitcher to strike the nonbelievers from the field, or something like that... and the accountant was busy ritualistically burning and other game day food as a burnt offering to the SPORTS gods for good luck. This particular game had heavy casualty rate, although due to a necromancy play that didn't actually interfere with the flow of the game. At some point one of the plays consisted of a baton pass into an obstacle course, with the winning team opening fire into the opposing team's home base with their cannons. I also remember some spilled mutagens creating shambling ultraplayers, but not the particulars beyond that... partially because it was at this point that my wife and kids had caught up with me, and it seemed like I would have no chance to watch any more of the game.

>post too long

>>38406737
I opted to attempt a little subterfuge and told the family that I wasn't feeling well and would head back to the hotel room (which was rather far away). The Announcer warned me that I probably only had 1 quarter before the family made it to the hotel room, but I didn't care. As I stumbled through the crowd, face pressed against the portable TV, the Announcer informs me that the portable TV is rapidly running out of batteries. According to him, the gift shop I had just left had batteries, but I would almost certainly run into my family if I returned. A quick examination of the surroundings reveals an abandoned looking maintenance shack barely visible over some concrete walls.

I go for it.

As I crawl over the concrete barrier, I fall right into knee-deep murky water... the Announcer doesn't say anything, except that my fall was rather loud. I book it to the shack which is now obviously situated on a nearby island, struggling through the disgusting, slimy water. As I break land, the Announcer tells me the second quarter has just ended - I have to hurry or my family will notice and I'll get nothing for the game. As I reach for the door, the Announcer tells me that a large crocodile splashes out of the water and is now charging me... prepare for combat.

Remember, I'm playing a balding, middle-aged sports coach... and this isn't a combat-oriented type of game.

The combat is a series of desperate moves and brutal failures. My arm is critically damaged and I'm bleeding heavily, but by repeatedly smashing the crocodile against the wall of the shack, I've killed it. The Announcer says I'm probably going to pass out from blood loss in a couple of hours, and my arm is now useless. Feeling faint and desperate, I open the shed, only to find it full of assorted lawn and pond care equipment - but it does still have power. A roll later and I'm attempting to jerry-rig the portable TV to run off the shack's electricity.

>continued

>>38407298
Because all is never lost if you can still rewrite reality.

>>38407459
That's the spirit.

>>38407298
Of course, I shock myself badly and accomplish absolutely nothing besides a nasty burn on my good hand and an increasingly loose grip on consciousness. The Announcer tells me to roll, and I end up hallucinating rather hard.

Meanwhile, the game is halfway through the third quarter and it seems like the Office worker's chanting is having the desired effect - two of the opposing players have been beaned by smaller, baseball-shaped meteors, and I'm now standing to gain a massive amount of SPORTS energy if only I can connect to the game. OOC I'm desperate, IC I'm dying and desperate.

I announce my intentions to the Announcer - I begin tearing into the crocodile corpse with my bare hands, painting myself with a mixture of our blood - the jersey numbers of my roster and their team logos. I also tear the flesh off the crocodile and craft it into a crude football using some wire I found in the shed. My totem is complete.

I jam the frayed wires from the portable TV into the totem and begin praying feverishly as my consciousness fades. The Announcer rolls, and looks stunned.

Crit success on invocation, crit fail on desired result - I am to be tested... and that's when the Announcer pauses the game to grab some of his D&D core books.

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>>38407892
This I gotta hear. Keep going.

>>38407892
Excellent stuff!

>>38407892
When he returns, he tells me a black slime is now creeping through a nearby crack in the shack's shoddy concrete foundation, and that the arcane SPORTS runes on my body are now burning hot and glowing. I try and back away from the slime, but an invisible forcefield prevents me from leaving the shack - glowing lines on the floor, reminiscent of the boundary lines of soccer, have penned me in with the monstrosity, with the totemball in the center. I realize I can't leave without the totemball, and make a hail-mary dive for it, only to have the slime lash out at me and attempt to consume my bad arm. The Announcer tells me the pain is excruciating, but I manage to retain consciousness due to the remaining numbness/nerve damage from the electrocution.

This time there's clearly no hope in actual combat, the slime is easily consuming me as it continues to bubble into the room and it's pretty obvious that I'm gonna die a very slow and painful death.

I look the Announcer dead in the eye and tell him that I'm going to put my very connection to SPORTS itself on the line - this is some pretty serious shit, since if my connection is severed, not only can I never again engage in fantasy sports or be empowered by it, I won't get to go to SPORTShalla when I die. I am going to attempt to chaos dunk using the totem. (Nearly everyone in the room had played or knew of Barkley Shut Up and Jam Gaiden, so this wasn't said lightly. Link for reference: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g6zqHKd265E )

It was to come down to one roll, life or death, SPORTS or nothing at all.

>>38408462
Putting on the Jam.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lWKQiZVBtu4

>>38408462
In general, our DM believes in high risk, high reward plays, so he was willing to allow this sort of utter desperation if it was fluffed out right.

With the totem in my barely-usable arm, I stand up, my other arm utterly enveloped in the black ooze. I roll to chaos dunk... nat fucking twenty. The Announcer laughs uncontrollably - he had set the difficulty of the dunk as requiring a nat 20, figuring he would just make me roll a new character. But now the SPORTS was on another field entirely. Another roll for effectiveness (19 this time), and it's ruled that with a single swing of the totemball, I've erased the black ooze from existence, created a small tear in the plane in which the SPORTS divinity reside, and I've ascended as a SPORTS demigod of chaos. So long as I am in possession of the totemball, I count as a minor sports deity with all that entails.

Of course I then channel my newfound godhood into the TV and catch the final quarter, gaining a small bit of SPORTS energy, enough to teleport myself outside the hotel. Unfortunately, my family beat me there by almost an hour, and my wife aggro is now officially of the charts, beyond even my ability as a SPORTS demigod to effect.

And so ends the second session.

>>38408841
Start of the 3rd session, and the Announcer tells us that this week we will be experiencing the perfect storm - a hurricane that rolled two nat twenties. I kid you not, the storm he genned was essentially continent-destroying in nature. Still, SPORTS stops for no one, and this game promised to be profitable for every player.

It is at this point that we finally became aware of what the Janitor had been up to, what all the note passing had been about - he was a SPORTS cultist. I kid you not. It was right on his character sheet and everything from the very beginning and everyone, including the Announcer, had missed it. He had been secretly sacrificing people to his dark SPORTS gods for weeks, and had managed to not only get away with it but gain a significant amount of power through some good roleplaying and better rolls. He gave this away, of course, by painting his house in SPORTS runes in the blood of his victims to protect himself from the storm. He didn't care if people knew - he was so empowered that the police couldn't stop him now anyways.

The rest of us did our best to weather-proof our houses in more mundane methods, not to much success when faced with the kind of storm that tears asphalt off the streets.

Game Day comes, and with it, the storm to end all storms.

>>38409187
That's some hardcore fucking dedication, dude.

>>38409231
Yeah, but then again the rewards are immense beyond belief, and even if you die you go to SPORTShalla.

>>38409187
>>38409341
Wait.

Aren't you a Demigod of SPORTS at this point?

Couldn't you SPORTS up some anti-HURRICANE SPORTSNAROK (as I assume the storm was named) using your divine SPORTS?

>>38409528
Getting to it, working on the finale. That being said, lets just say this was the luckiest storm possible - it out-rolled me every step of the way.

I know the storm had a name, but for the life of me I can't remember it. SPORTSNAROK is fine by me though, and I will totally be using it from now on.

>>38409528
this shit is reminding me of HUGEQUEST at this point

>>38409617
HUGEQUEST and Time Wizards were major inspirations, yes.

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>>38409647
was it a HUGE influence?

>>38409770
Goddamn it, you got me.

>>38409187
Dawn of the 3rd Sports

Almost as soon as the game starts, the storm hits land and begins tearing the NA east coast to shreds, leaving almost nothing in its wake - not even dry land. As the storm hits the stadium itself, players are being ripped from the field (and the field is being ripped from the field) and sucked into the cyclone. But the game goes on! The players themselves are being protected by the SPORTS gods and continue to make plays as they are flung round and round as the storm continues to move inland. Plays are rolled and viking ships/airships are released, providing a way for the players to continue the game as an air battle.

HURRICANE SPORTSNAROK is also destroying the PC's homes - I'm protecting the house by calling the house "out of bounds" to the storm, but I can't actually dispel it, it's simply too powerful, and the debris that I can't stop are tearing through the house like a knife through butter. The office worker and the accountant are both huddling in their respective basements listening to the game on the radio, and the cultist Janitor walks outside into the storm and calls upon the winds to take him to the game (his team is losing). After a few really good rolls, the cultist essentially flies straight to the stadium, where the aerial battle has grown to include cannons, spears, and a game of dodgeball.

>>38410542

And this is actually the point at which things get so fucked we just had to end the game plotline. The cultist, through continued amazing rolls, carves out the heart of the captain of the opposing team and eats it, much to the applause of the surviving audience. After some nasty incantations, the cultist manages to abuse the tear I had made in the SPORTS plane to usher his DARK SPORTS god into the material realm, which causes the storm to increase in size and magnitude - the storm is now a world-ender. As the rest of the SPORTS pantheon descends into the realm of the mortals to drag this abomination back to its prison, the storm rolled another nat 20 to begin boring into the Earth itself. At this point, we ended the session with the fate of all involved unkown, only that whatever happened, we'd all end up in SPORTShalla... well, except for the filthy cultist. Maybe.

Sorry for the downer ending, but it's what happened. We simply couldn't think of a way to satisfactorly continue without obscene DM fiat.

And that's how SPORTS ended the world.

THE END

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>>38410658
Hell, if that's the way the world ends, Imma die happy.
Archive thread?

>>38410928
If you wish, feel free. I just wanted to share. I'm rather afraid I didn't do the game justice - a lot of the hilarity came from the DM's excellent narration and the random play generator he created.

Archived here for eternity.
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38401494/

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If anyone wants a personal copy.

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>>38411203
Woops, looks like the last little bit got cut off.
>Captcha ichop
Well, I suppose I do.

Before this thread sinks too far, is anyone interested in the actual rules and generator tables? I can see what I can do to get the DM to hand them over.

>>38411415
Yep. If it's not too much trouble.

This sounds awesome.

>>38411564
Alright, I'll see what can be done, might take a few days.

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>>38411415
YES PLEASE.

Bump