LAST TIME ON QUEST QUEST>You are Brad, a slightly manic Barbarian>You, along with oversized eating utensils and a nervous Knight, have entered into a grand tournament >After defeating a luchador and crabs, you're on to the final round!AND NOW YOU'RE UP TO DATETotally broke my wrist, so typing and drawing is very difficult. Please bear with me.
>Episode 1http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38853924/>Episode 2http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38878461/>Episode 3http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39034579/>Episode 4http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39116150/
You wake up, the taste of crab in your mouth.And nose.And ears.Wait you don't have those. Never mind.ANYWAYS. You're on the ground, hung over from binging on crab meat and shells. Didn't you have something you needed to do today??
>>39424872Perhaps a bath before the final? Make sure to bring your weapon-person.
>>39424872>"Ummm... Mr.Barbarian? The final match is starting... Are you dead?"
>>39424902OH THATS RIGHT. YOU HAVE THE FINALS. LIKE, NOW.>WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>39424923Hoist your person weapon into battle!
>>39424923Flex. Warm up those muscles.
>>39424923OH SHIT, FINALS! WE HAVEN'T EVEN STUDIED!
>>39424923Nag nervous Knight, Nelly, to name the nomenclature of your new nemesis, now!
>>39424923Procure new weapon!Surely we will find a utensil based weapon that ironically fits the type of enemy we're facing!
>>39424964>>39424932You do your classic flex warm-ups.Not your best, you're still a little groggy from your nap. You hear the trumpets blare outside, announcing that the round is starting!>WHAT DO?
>>39425089Grab pizza cutter, crab cracker, and pizza and charge TO GLORY!
>>39425089Grab Pizza Knight Shield and sprint outside!
>>39425089Grab gear, Get ready Psych self up with thoughts of death glory, and women.
>>39425089Walk out like you actually prepared, and demand the audience to lend you their bravado.
>>39425089grab our trusty pizza shield and pizza cutter and STRUT
>>39425134>>39425111>>39425110>"Mercy to the Five, not again."The Knight mutters nervously as you grab him by the arms and drag him off.
>>39425214You make your way outside, the harsh light of day blinding you momentarily. You hear the crowd go bananas for you as you emerge.Looks like you're pretty popular.
>>39425236>"Oh, glad you could make it! We almost thought you'd forfeit. But what kinda fun would that be?"High Prince Oblyx says over the cheers.
>>39425260>"WELL WAKE UP, BECAUSE THIS IS THE FUCKIN FINAL SHOWDOWN!"The crowd goes bananas-er.>"Brad the Barbarian vs...."
>>39425279>"... GNURKNOK!"He shouts as the opposite gate opens, fog pouring out.This looks intense, man. They got a fog mage for this. You got a confetti mage, though. SO thats cool.
>>39425308Oh shit.This guy looks tough.
>>39425340THIS IS IT, MAN. YOUR OPPONENT. THE FINAL CHALLENGE.>WHAT>DO>YOU>DO?
>>39425340Expecting that guy to walk to the left to reveal our actual opponent. Taunt him anyway.
>>39425359Rap battle! He can't see us!
>>39425359Pull a bard out from the audience WE GOT OURSELVES A DANCE OFF
>>39425359Holy shit he looks tough, you need to tenderize him thoroughly before eating.
>>39425359Grab Pizza Knight's Neckerchief, and tie it into a do rag.Prepare for a rap-off, Mothafucka!
>>39425359Third for Rap battle
>>39425365You look behind him, as if to imply that he couldn't possibly be your opponent! A low blow, Brad. A low blow indeed.
>>39425508OH SHIT.HE LOOKS MILDLY PISSED.Looks like hits on.You've managed to stun him for a split second!>WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>39425584Deploy your weapon of choice: The element of surprise!
>>39425584A JIG. I DO A VICTORY JIG.MAYBE HE'LL GET CONFUSED-ER.
>>39425584Throw the pizza at him to throw him off balance, and charge with our circle blade.
>>39425584Start the rap-off!
>>39425584Challenge to a rap battle!
>>39425584pull down his pants!
>>39425627BROKEN WRIST MAKES FOR VERY SLOW GOINGSYou grab ahold of the knight, who turns, eyes widening in fear.>"Oh no. No, please."A wide grin goes across your face.
>>39426149You send the Knight flying through the air, screaming all the way in terror! It looks to be a direct path to Gnurknok!
>>39426172And with a metal-sounding "Boink!", the Knight bounces off his sturdy chest ineffectively, not even moving him an inch. The Knight tumbles to the ground with and "OOMPH!"
The crowd goes bonkers, cheering Gnurknok's name!You're embarrassing yourself out there, kid! >WHAT DO YOU DO????
>>39426207Soften him with some of that poetry you are so well-known for!
>>39426207Is there any corners on the arena? We should climb it and dive bonb john ce- i mean, that guy
>>39426221If only we had a meat tenderizer.
>>39426207Pull on his eyebrows
>>39426287You mean our fists?
>>39426207Where did he get a phone?!
>>39426207Ok, if physical assaults don't work, we should bombard him with VILE INSULTS and allege that his mother smells of ELDERBERRIES.
>>39426207You walk right up to Gnurknok. His stoney gaze cuts right through you as you approach.No more Mr.nice barbarian.Kick his ass. Punch him in the face! TEAR HIM APART!
>>39426430*magic rockAnd the wizard down the street sells them.
>>39426290Or... do that... I guess.You climb atop his shoulders and begin furiously pulling on his hairy orc eyebrows.
>>39426601Give him a smooch.
>>39426620Whats this?! With a quick move, he grabs your arm and leg, pulling you tight across his back! The crowd gasps in anticipation!This doesn't look good.
>>39426643OHHH! OH SHIT!OUCH.He throws you to the ground and slams down on you with all his might, the crowd going mad!THAT looks like it hurt.
>>39426660Like FUCK>WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>39426660>Knock his hat offalso FUCK YEAH QUEST QUEST!Also also I hope your wrist gets better soon.
>>39426624I second this.
>>39426678this, remove his hat!
>>39426643>>39426660>>39426677Pray to god of choice that Gnurknok realizes this is your first time and does it gently. The last thing we need is him going in dry.
>>39426677Sick! We have a breath weapon!Use blood-breath!
>>39426678You reach up in your daze and flick his hat right off.The audience goes quiet.Looks like that might have been his trademark.
>>39427238It lads with a soft flutter on the ground next to you two. Gnurknok slowly turns his head to his hat.Thats two disses in the same match. Whats the worst that coul-
>>39427264OH MY THATS A FISTOnce again your face is beat into a bloody mess. The audience roars into an applause again.You're not doing so hot, hoss. You gotta switch tactics.>WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>39427287Take your loincloth and turn it into a do-rag.COMMENCE RAP OFF.
>>39427287flex your glutes! use your amazing glutes to throw him off your back!
>>39427287Rage The more damage we take the more we do. Flip him over then use his own moves against him, he can't see us.
>>39427375This. Impress him with our voluptuous twink ass.
>>39427384Go super-barbarian.Start glowing blue and shit, not like those punk-ass monks half-assing it with red and yellow.
Seems like OP's gonna have us die in this tourney. With a combat focused QQ wouldnt rolling be good because its not very satisfying having us keep failing until the opponent does something note worthy.
>>39427287Fine barbarian rage and pizza cutter his ass
>>39427287We should probably actually fight now. Commencing operation: punch
>>39427375With a mighty heft, you lift yourself off the ground and clench your ass so tight, the force of it launches Gnurknok off of you and into the air!Your foe is airborn! Quick! >WHAT DO YOU DO?
>>39427651With a single motion, put his hat on (backwards) and punch him in the nuts as he falls.
>>39427651use your barbarian magics and cast fist
>>39427651Grab him while he's in the air power suplex in rolling doom.
>>39427651Perform stun lock combo. Juggle this smug fuck.Let's use that frame perfect timing.
>>39427651I'll back >>39427683
>>39427651MIGHTY KICK INTO THE CROTCHAL REGIONS
>>39427668With deft speed, you grab the hat as you spin around upwards...
>>39428483AND SMASH INTO HIS SACK WITH THE POWER OF A BILLION PIZZASThe men in the audience groan!The children gasp!The women say "Oh, but you know that that doesn't even compare to the pain of childbirth"!
>>39428512The Knight gets up a shakes his fist triumphantly. >"Yes!"Looks like he's warmin up to you even more!
>>39427683>>39427779>>39428206OH SHITBUT YOURE NOT DONEContinuing from the punch, you smash into him repeatedly, the force of your blows keeping him airborne! the audience is going fucking loco! YOU'VE TURNED THIS AROUND!>WHAT DO?
>>39428512Were the fucking Devil
>>39428555Infinite Combo Don't let him touch the ground
>>39428555Keep building that super bar! We need to pull him into an unblockable string and then use our Level 3 super!
>>39428555Switch your fighting style up mid fight, It'll throw his defense off.
>>39428555GRAB LEGSSPIN AROUNDTHROW INTO SPECTATORS LIKE A SACK OF POTATOES
>>39428555V ┘ > HADOUKEN
>>39428652>getting the konami code wrongIt's up up down down left right left right B A start, not up up down down left right left right A B A B start.
>>39428596This.>>39428555And don't lose the hat, it's the source of our power!
>>39428555Take him for a LAST RIDE
>>39428596WITH EACH ATTACK, YOUR MANIC GRIN BUILDS. AS DOES YOUR POWER. YOU PULL BACK ONE MORE TIME, EYES GONE MAD WITH BLOODLUST
>>39429039And look at thatSomeones /SPECIAL/ meter just hit full.Tell me, brave, stupid, murderous Brad.>WHAT IS YOUR SPECIAL?
>>39429057Punch him into the atmosphere leap to follow him up, full orbital drop powerbomb.
>>39429057GOURMET LUNCH: Your enemy now looks like a five course meal and nothing can stop you from digging in.
>>39429057pretty much https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DsUCRcK7QYc
>>39429057a punch that causes explosive diarrhea
>>39429057>>39429083This was actually somewhat close to what I was going to suggest, only instead of following up with an orbital powerbomb, it would cut to a gigantic meteor sculpted into a likeness of ourselves crashing into him in a devastating celestial body press like some sort of inane wrestling JRPG attack cutscene.
>>39429057I back >>39429150
>>39429057Summon Rockdar, lord of all metal. Call him down from his mighty heaven throne and unleash a thousand furies upon this poor soul. May Rockdar have mercy on us all.
I want it to somehow involve Gartendo, but I can't think of anything.
>>39429083I support how BRUTAL this is. And drag the little knight along for the ride.
>>39429057Toss the orc up into the air like a pizza crust, then perform a flying uppercut.
>>39429286We'll probably be going to jail for stealing the pizza cutter. We might see him there.
FUCK THIS HYDROCODONE IS DOING A NUMBER ON MEGIMMIE A BIT FOR THIS ONE
>>39429083FUCK YEAH THAT'S WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT!
>>39429057UNLIMITED PIZZA CUTTER WORKS
>>39429445I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I WAS ON THAT FOR A FEW WEEKS AFTER MY APPENDECTOMY.
>>39429445>HydrocodoneOh shit son yeaaaaahI've been there. Valley fever. I was too fucked up to do anything but watch NCIS
>>39429471>unlimited blade works>posts gate of babylonU wot?
>>39429471got to be the level 4 limit break pizza omnicutter
>>39429641...I don't actually know anything about what it's from. I just know it involves summoning lotsa swords.the pic was the coolest looking sword-summoning-thing from Google.
>>39429995Ah, well here's unlimited blade works for reference.
>>39429083With all your power packed into your fish, you throw yourself at Gnurknok! Strange blue energy crackles around your knuckles as you sail toward him!
>>39430682WHEN DID WE GET A FISH?!!?
>>39430682You launch from the ground and shoot your fist into his chin, rocketing him toward the sky! The audience barely has time to gasp it happens so fast!
>>39430705heheh oops>>39430713Through some strange Barbarian combo power, you shoot up into the air next to him as he reaches his maximum height and floats for a moment.
>>39430739PILE DRIVER!PILE DRIVER!
>>39430739THEN YOU GO ABSOLUTELY BARBARIC ON HIM
>>39430757HE ROCKETS BACK DOWN TO EARTH, BURNING LIKE A SHOOTING STAR!
>>39430778AND LANDS SO HARD HE CAUSES A CRATER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ARENA
>>39430791So there he lies, broken and bloodied.This is a man who just took the full force of your special.
>>39430817>>39429150My god.>WHAT DO YOU DO NOW?
>>39430834ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?
>>39430846IS THIS NOT WHY YOU ARE HERE?
>>39430834Falling Elbow of doom. FINISH HIM!
>>39430834Ask the crowd "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED?" And get ready for the inevitable "No-Sell" this chump's about to pull.
>>39430834Rockdar demands sacrifice
>>39430834Rip his head off wear it as a hat!
>>39430834Help him up, this guy is pretty badass if he lived through that.
>>39430834Well fought orcbro. Are you, uh, all right?
>>39430834still need to land the end hit of our combo which utilizes the hidden italian monks secret pizza cutter 8 slice technique.
>>39430834Figure out how to get down. Ride a cloud like it's a majestic chariot or we're Sun Wukong doing somersaults or whatever.
>>39430834Give him the warrior's death.
>>39430886>>39430906Based on this place's mythos, he's probably going to Valhalla. A glorious finale is the best way we can end this, for both of us.
>>39431168Glorious barbarian fighting and Northern European influence?Valhalla seems like the sort of afterlife associated with this place, if there is one.
>>39431205nah dude this is bradbarians and N. europeans influence so it's going to be Bradhalla
You fall to the ground and land with a smash!You've gotten pretty impressive, bub. Way to go.
>>39430906>>39430886You go over to Gnurknok, who is coughing up blood.>"T-tell my brother.... *COUGH HACK*I'm sorry I couldn't... *COUGH WHEEZE* post bail..."And with that, he goes limp and dies in your arms.>WHAT DO?
>>39431320I just thought of something- You think our eternal rival will be a douchebag named Chad?
>>39431381Shed a single manly tear. "ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED!"
>>39431381Say this:>WHERE IS HIS BROTHER?>I MUST TELL HIM COUGH HACK I'M SORRY I COULDN'T COUGH WHEEZ POST BAIL.
>>39431381>Close his eyes>Get paid
>>39431381DO NOT WANT!
>>39431381Also this >>39431423
>>39431381Wow, holy shit.Honor our rival's death, I guess.>>39431412>>39431423>>39431425Also this.
>>39431381Deliver him to the VALKYRIES so they may take him to VALHALLA.
>>39431381he's starting to look appetizing... we must remember this fight with a feast!
>>39431482Wait a minute, doing an archive crawl.
>>39431381We shall find this brother and post his bail.And then we'll go on another quest to get more money to pay the Arms Merchant.
>>39431557>>39431505what orcs do we know that have been put in jail recently?
>>39431505Nope. Not for this quest.Couldn't find anything indicating that we accidentally screwed his brother over.Do you remember something I don't?Or was there a Quest Quest before this with an orc protag?
>>39431557his brother my be orc brad
>>39431584Gartendo the brad bard had an orc follower.
>>39431639Oh no...>This is the first revelation of an emotion outside of anger or confusion to Brad, the barbarian. Could this be the spark of a change within him?>Find out soon...
>>39431584>Hasn't read the first season of QQSHIT NIGGER GO READ IT NOW
>>39431600Oh, shit.I should probably finish the saga of gartendo.I kinda missed everything after leech brad's unfortunate end.
>>39431412You shake your first toward the cheering audience, cursing them and the cruel fates of war as the trumpets sound and the confetti falls!
>>39431961>"Well, it looks like we have a new champion! Brad the Barbarian gets the crown this year! Way to go, you crazy thing! You also can collect the prize money! Thats right! 50 gold!"50 GOLD?! HOLY SHIT. You could buy a horse with one gold! A nice house with 10! Thats a lot of skrilla!>What do you do, champion?
>>39432017shouldnt we pay for the pizza cutter?
>>39432029No>>39432017Lets go post bail for that one guy. Then we can go party!
>>39432017Ask about the orc's brother, pay the weapon vendor and then post orc brother's bail. also pizza shield deserves a gold or two.
>>39432017actually we're a bradbarian. now let's go drown in beer and pussy in the classiest whore house in the city.
>>39432017Ask about orcbro's bro and bail him.
>>39432017Bail out orcbro, pay for pizza cutter, and invest the rest.
>>39432144Preferably in low risk stocks and bonds.
>>39432017Run out and post bail!Then watch as Quest Quest ends as the current and former protagonists inevitably collide, creating a chain reaction that could destroy THE ENTIRE QUEST QUEST UNIVERSE!Or just have Brad punch Gartendo in the facehole.
>>39432017Kill the prince.
>>39432178But gartendo can control brad.Which I find amusing.
>>39432017>>39432144seconding, uphold Barbarian Honor, and pay for the stuff.
>>39432054>>39432092You inquire about the brother of Gnurknok. The jailed one. You know.>"Oh, him? I dunno. I think I heard that a group was arrested over near Old Zigberg and taken to the prison in Dorhaven. I think there was an orc there."ITS A LEAD! But it looks like you wanna take care of a few things first...
>>39432954>>39432054On your way out, you toss a few gold coins to The Knight, who looks down surprised!Quite a charitable thing to do for a bloodthirsty maniac. You're pretty surprising.
>>39432144>>39432054>>39432029And look at that! Turns out you weren't lying when you said you'd pay for it. Now he can pay for a nose job!
>>39433004After a days travel west, you arrive in the town of Dorhaven....
>>39433024>"Yeah, he's in here."The prison guard says as he leads you to the cell holding Gnurknok's brother.Who knows what this guy did. He might be dangerous. Be careful, man.
>>39433043>"But be careful of the rest. They're dangerous."He says as you approach the cell.As you look inside you see some of the scummiest, hardest, meanest criminals you've ever seen in your life.
>>39433043Oh, come on. That's racist. His brother was a stand-up guy, he can't be too bad.
>>39433073A stand-up guy who tried to kill us, admittedly.
>>39433068My god they're hideous.[spoilerTHUS ENDS SEASON 2. THANKS GUYS, ITS BEEN A BLAST.[/spoiler]
>>39433085Well, in all fairness, we did the same to him.
>>39433096>Fail spoiler on the last postWELL OK FUCK ME THEN
>>39433096NOOOOOOOoooooooo...Come back soon, kay?
>>39433096>those tear tattoosHilarious.
>>39433096Aaaaugh! MY EYES! Why would you do this to me!? Look how deformed and hideous they are!Thanks for running.
>>39433119I choose to disbelieve.
All aboard the season 3 hype train. (starring the braddlemage.)
Where can I find Season 1? This show is amazing.
>>39433096>THE BREAKFAST CLUB.png
>>39433206http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=quest+questDon't pay attention to the first three quests the search catches, as this is sadly the only search that catches all the relevant threads, due to various archive tags that have been used.
>Episode 1http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37346691/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37363412/>Episode 2http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37377232/>Episode 3http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37465789/>Episode 4http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37533810/>Episode 5http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37640157/>Episode 6http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/37975556/>Episode 7http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38245573/
>>39433187Excuse me, but we'll be a paladin named Francis.
>>39433312Ahh shit ignore that link, I just noticed it fails to find the first half of the first episode. Seems there is no single search that can find them all.
>>39433352The downside of direct links is, you can't vote through them. You need to do a search or trawls through everything if you want to put in a vote.
>>39433389Yeah, that's why I asked.>>39433352Brofist, based anon.
>>39433496if you want to vote on episode 1 part 1, the tag for it is apparentlyhttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=OP%20needs%20a%20name
>>39433096Wait, where's Apellomancer Freddie?
>>39434274Don't you mean Brad?
>>39436317No the actual Freddie we took the staff from in the first place. He should be in that shot too unless they ate him or something.