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/tg/ - Traditional Games


The putrid stench of rotten flesh fills your nostrils, while the crackling fire of what was once your home burns behind you. You lay prostrate across the sandy ground, slowly pushing yourself to your knees. You look ahead of you to see the cause of the carnage: a Hellspawn; a monstrous, demonic creature like no other. They come in all manner of shapes and sizes, though this one in particular is roughly humanoid, and you use the term "rough" very lightly.

It's form is gargantuan to you, from your position on your knees. Its brutish, hulking figure looms over you. Draped over its form is a mass of flowing black resembling a set of robes, though it's clear from this distance that it is simply the creature's body, compromised more of shadow than flesh. Its hunched back bends forwards to end in a horse-like skull with a wide jaw that reaches from cheek to cheek and then some, giving it the appearance of a terrible grin. Two arms sprout from the main body, ending in a number of mismatched, jagged appendages vaguely resembling fingers. It breathes a hot, rancid breath in your face as it reaches towards you.

Where the hell are the Knights? Those good-for-nothing Magi are supposed to take care of things like this, yet here it stands, aiming to strike you down.

They say your life passes before your eyes when you're about to die, but it would seem you are not so lucky. The only thing you immediately recount are the events of today.

----

You awaken with a thud from a fitful slumber. You take a moment to gather your thoughts, laying as you are in a knot of blankets and sheets on the dirty wooden floor of your bedroom.

You are...?

>Name
>Gender
>Age (between 10 and 30 years)
>Appearance (optional)
>>
Winston, Male, 30, buff as fuck
>>
>>39817913
I'll give it another 5 minutes before I go with that, then. Least SOMEBODY's here.

This is my first time as a QM, so please be gentle. C&C is appreciated.
>>
>>39817913
Seconded. Give him a sideways hat, and a baseball bat.
>>
>>39817913
>>39818070
That'll do it then, writing now.
>>
>>39817769
You are Winston Hamilton, 30 years old and buff as all fuck.

Finally managing to untangle yourself, you stand to your full height, topping off at an even 6 feet. Your skin is a deep tan from the harsh desert sun, your hands rough and calloused. Tossing the blankets back onto your bed, you walk to the window to examine the town.

Your little town is exactly that, small and featureless. It has no name, and isn't marked on any major maps. The only reason your town can sustain itself at all is because of its convenient location near some odd patches of fertile land in the otherwise blank, sandy desert that makes up the rest of the world you know.

Apart from the sands, however, is the crown jewel of the desert: the ancient ruins located some miles from your town. The ruins are an ancient tower city, four layers high and stacked like a massive cake, with each subsequent layer being smaller than the one below it. Build between these layers are buildings like in any other city. Though these ruins have no name, they are ripe for the picking... assuming you can live to get there and back.

A quiet ticking finally catches your attention, and you glance at the clock. Seems the morning is getting late. Time for work.

Your job is...?

>Scavenger
>Merchant
>Farmer
>Write-in
>>
>>39818318
>Farmer
>>
>>39818368
senconded
>>
>>39818368
>>39818386
I'll wait a couple minutes to see if anyone else turns out, but otherwise I'll start writing.
>>
>>39818406
Sweet its my firsy time thou
>>
bump
>>
>>39818368
Thirded, but he's gotta farm something manly.
>>
>>39818481
Yea, like radishes
>>
>>39818481
Onions and chest hair.
>>
>>39818519
And Ghost Peppers
>>
>>39818318
Living alone, you don't have much else to do in this town but work, and nobody's around to wake you bright and early. It's late in the morning, and the longer you wait, the hotter it'll get. Best to get the hoeing done before the sun gets too high.

You throw on a pair of dirty jeans, not even bothering with a shirt, followed by your old and worn boots and your equally worn baseball cap, which you grab off a hook on your door, setting it firmly on your head sideways. People always give you shit for that, "What's the point of a hat if it's not gonna keep the sun from your eyes?" Fuck 'em. They just don't get it.

You toss open your back door and walk out towards your open fields, which stretch for quite a ways. Your crops tend to vary depending on what's popular, but you always make sure to keep the essentials, no matter what: Peppers and onions.

You grab your rusty hoe from its usual position leaning against your home, and set to work.

The sun is high in the sky and you've quite thoroughly worked up a good sweat by the time you finish your work. You decide to take a break and lean against the old oak tree on your property, which continues to grow and thrive despite the apparent lack of water. You certainly don't waste any on it, at least.

Reclining against the hard bark, you hear a rustling in the branches above you. Looking up, you spot a teenage girl, quietly humming while seated on a particularly sturdy branch. This girl is Clarice Rose, and she tends to be quite a troublemaker. Though her magical abilities might have something to do with that.

You look up at her, and she looks back, cocking her head with a smile. "Heya Mister Hamilton!"

>"Mornin', kid."
>"You looking to help, or just laze around like usual?"
>"What'd I tell you about coming on my land?"
>"What'd I tell you about going near my tree?"
>Write-in
>>
A
>>
>>39818683
>"What'd I tell you about going near my tree?"
Let's be a hardass with a heart of gold.
>>
>>39818721
>>39818764
Guess I'll give it a few minutes for any stragglers, but I got a general idea.
>>
>>39818683
>>"What'd I tell you about going near my tree?"
Git erf ma larwnnnnn
>>
>>39818683
"Mornin', kid. What'd I tell you about going near by tree?"

Clarice giggles. "Oh, lighten up, Mr. Hamilton. It's like, the only tree in the whole town!"

"Yes, and it's MY tree."

She crosses her arms and frowns, though her legs continue to kick happily as they dangle from the branch, revealing that she is anything but upset. "Not like you take care of it."

"It's a hardy old bastard, it can take care of itself."

She giggles at this. "Just like you."

You sigh. "Did you need something, or did you just come to stop a man from doing his work?"

She hops down from the branch, neatly falling the distance without any issues. "You sure didn't seem to be working when I found you~" she chants, before continuing, "but really, I just came to tell you that the left field's all done. I grew those veggies up right quick with a little TLC and a sprinkle of Growth magic. They're ready for harvest, which is good, because I just heard that a group of traders stopped by!"

You can't contain the minor look of surprise that crosses your face. "Traders, out here?"

She nods happily. "Yep! Your veggies will make great trade for whatever they've got. Now if only you'd grow something tastier..."

>"Peppers and onions are good for you."
>"Peppers and onions are good for you. Puts hair on your chest."
>"Can't make peppers and beef without peppers, you know."
>"You're welcome to starve if you don't like it."
>Write-in
>>
>>39819065
>>"Peppers and onions are good for you. Puts hair on your chest."
>>
>>39819144
For you, my one and only friend, I will continue the story. Writing now.
>>
>>39819065
>"Peppers and onions are good for you. Puts hair on your chest."
>"Can't make peppers and beef without peppers, you know."

>>39819254
Naw dude, give it like 20 minutes or so for first threads. Sides, if you keep going and write an interesting story, people will eventually read and join up.
>>
>>39819254
To be fair, 11 minutes is a short wait time for a fledgling quest.
It'll pick up in 3-5 threads or so, unless you're shit.
>>
>>39819302
I guess you're right. I'm just a little jumpy.

>>39819335
Hopefully I'm not. A bit early to ask if I am, though.
>>
>>39819362
I totally get you, I just recently started a quest myself and I always wonder if I'm doing okay.
>>
>>39819065
"Peppers and onions are good for you. Puts hair on your chest."

Clarice sticks out her tongue in obvious disgust. "I'm a GIRL! That's the exact opposite of what we want growing on our chests. And I think you-" she juts a finger at your bare, hairy chest, "have enough of that. Doesn't all that fur make you uncomfortable?"

"Not a bit," you grunt, heading back to your house as Clarice follows. You continue, "Besides, can't make peppers and beef without peppers, you know."

"Last time you made 'peppers and beef,' there wasn't any beef."

"Can't grow beef on trees," you retort calmly, stretching your sore arms.

"Well you can't really call it 'peppers and beef' if there's no beef, can you?" she asks, placing her hands on her hips.

"Sure you can. You just need a good imagination." Finally arriving back home, you dig around in a little shed, and pull out two large wicker baskets. You throw one to Clarice, who barely catches it as she fumbles the basket for a moment. You say, "Since you're here, you can help me harvest."

She groans. "But I just GREW all of those!"

"I'll give you a cut of whatever I get from the trader," you say without facing her, walking towards the completely matured vegetables which you had planted as seeds just the other day. Clarice seems to consider this before groaning again, begrudgingly following you.

[1/2]
>>
>>39819635
Another hour's worth of work later, and the both of you have your baskets filled with peppers and onions. You take them back to your house and rinse them off in the small amount of water you allot to ensuring your vegetables are presentable.

You shake the precious water off an onion and toss it to Clarice, who manages to catch this with ease, as you grab one yourself. You say, "Here's a tip for your troubles."

She holds it gingerly, giving you a questioning look. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

You bite into your onion, skin and all, as though it were a fresh apple. "Eat it," you say between bites. She visibly gags, throwing her onion back to you. You shrug, placing it in the basket, before directing her to grab both baskets as you walk out towards the town proper. "C'mon, let's go meet that trader." You continue to enjoy your snack in the meantime.

Arriving at the center of town, you find a single man in an all-encompassing black cloak that drags along the sand behind him. Parked to the side is a wooden cart, pulled by a tamed Hellspawn. Tame or not, you ensure to stay as far as possible from the hideous creature, instead electing to strike up a conversation with the trader, who had just finished a deal with another of your fellow townsfolk.

The robed figure doesn't lend a very comforting air, but you assume that's just because he's a traveler. You have to be tough to venture out into the desert.

>"Hey stranger, don't see many of you 'round these parts."
>"Hey stranger, don't see many of you 'round these parts. What's your name?"
>"Let's skip the formalities and get right to business. What've you got that'll be worth my peppers and onions?"
>Write-in
>>
>>39819902
>"Trader, huh? Name's Winston, I grow vegetables. What've you got available?"
>>
>>39819902
>>"Hey stranger, don't see many of you 'round these parts."
Stronk or not, I don't want to piss this guy off.
>>
>>39819902
>>"Let's skip the formalities and get right to business. What've you got that'll be worth my peppers and onions?"
>>
>>39819902
>>39820015
I'll support this.
>>
>>39820015
>>39820041
Introductions are in order.

>>39820026
Generic "you're new" remark.

>>39820033
Business before pleasure.


Looks like we have a winner. Introducing yourself it is! Writing now.
>>
>>39819902
"Trader, huh? Name's Winston, I grow vegetables. What've you got available?"

The robed man extends his arms out, the sleeves of his robes sliding down to reveal thin, pale fingers. His raspy voice doesn't ease the tense feeling you had before, but you continue to shrug it off. The man says, "Ahh, I see, a farmer, yes? Even in these harsh plains of sand, you make life bloom."

"I helped!" Clarice offers, waving a hand as she peeks from behind your back. The man chuckles, "Such excitable youth. You may call me Lumen. I have much, very much, for ones such as yourselves. To some of it you may find there is a little more than meets the eye..." He extends his hands towards his cart, where a variety of goods are arranged.

For your offered peppers and onions, you can get three of the following:

>A shiny new hoe, the prongs sparkling like new. Yours works perfectly fine, but this one is certainly less shoddy in appearance.
>A large supply of meat jerky made from an unmarked creature of some kind. Likely a hellspawn.
>A shiny metal baseball bat. Old Trusty, who's been with you since you were just a kid, is looking a little rough around the edges these days...
>A simple-looking, clay jug.
>A handful of various clear crystals that Clarice seems to be eying.
>A blocky old piece of technology, with the word "NOKIA" written on it. Something you've never personally seen, Clarice calls it a "sell fone."
>An exceptionally magnificent, baby blue umbrella with gold wiring and a beautifully stained wooden handle.
>$500 in cash good for use at any town in the desert.
>>
>>39820578
>A large supply of meat jerky made from an unmarked creature of some kind. Likely a hellspawn.
>A blocky old piece of technology, with the word "NOKIA" written on it. Something you've never personally seen, Clarice calls it a "sell fone."
>A handful of various clear crystals that Clarice seems to be eying.

The first two for us, the third is Clarice's payment
>>
>>39820578
>A simple-looking, clay jug.
>A handful of various clear crystals that Clarice seems to be eying.
>An exceptionally magnificent, baby blue umbrella with gold wiring and a beautifully stained wooden handle.
GO MYSTERY BOX!
>>
>>39820578
>>A simple-looking, clay jug.
>>A handful of various clear crystals that Clarice seems to be eying.
>>A blocky old piece of technology, with the word "NOKIA" written on it. Something you've never personally seen, Clarice calls it a "sell fone."
>>
Correct me if I'm wrong, but the consensus so far seems to be
>holy grail
>mana crystals
>cell phone
>>
>>39820690
That seems to be the case. Anyone else got some input? Or should I roll with this?
>>
>>39820743
Can we ask the spoopy merchant about this stuff before or after we buy them?
>>
>>39820773
I suppose it wouldn't hurt. Only right to know what you're buying. I'll write it up.
>>
>>39820773
This. The last three items, aside from the cash, have to be special. At least the crystals.
>>
>>39820578
"What'dya mean by that 'more than meets the eye' comment? These things aren't cursed, are they? I know there's stuff like that out there, and I don't want none of it. I'm just a simple farmer."

The merchant brings his hands together, the robes falling back to cover them. He chuckles, "Ah, a clever one, you are. No no, there is nothing of the sort. In fact, it is just the opposite. To be quite frank, a number of these items I am unsure of myself, but do rest assured, my... benefactor, tells me these are of the highest quality. Those crystals, young lady," the merchant says to Clarice, who yelps at being addressed, "are of great importance to your kind, I am sure. Regenerating magical energies, if I am not mistaken?"

"That they are, Lu," she says, leaning towards them. "Looks like some Mana Crystals, a few Resolve Crystals, and even a Blank or two. Hard to tell when they're jumbled up."

You cup your chin. "And what about the other stuff?"

Clarice points to each item in turn, starting with the hoe. "That's just a rake," she says without much interest. You correct her, "Hoe."

She frowns, "That's not very nice, Mister Hamilton. Anyway, the jerky's probably edible. I mean, he wouldn't sell it if it wasn't, right? And the bat's pretty mundane too. That jug, though..."

The merchant speaks up, tapping his fingers against each other. "I am told it is most invaluable to anyone living in this desert. For such a low cost, you would be a fool to not accept it, I assure you."

He then holds up the NOKIA device, presenting it as though attempting to sell it to you. Which he very well is. "And this is a device called a 'cellphone.' This particular one is special, in that it may be used anywhere, at any time. It always has reception, and can thus contact other phones at any time."

Finally, he lifts the umbrella, popping it open above his head, shading himself from the sun. "And this..." he holds it away from himself, investigating it. "...well, is very fine indeed."
>>
Tell me if I'm asking too much, but according to our knowledge, is the area we live in dense enough in magical items that anyone other than "Satan McObviouslySatan" can be trading so many of them for a bunch of admittedly very fine onions and ghost peppers?
>>
>>39821060
You weigh your options. Despite the uneasiness you feel around him, this merchant certainly has a cheerful enough personality. You don't feel as though he's attempting to actively deceive you, anyway. Your farmer's intuition tells you as much.

You point to the jug, crystals and cellphone. If the jug is as good as he says, then it must be worth it. The crystals are an easy enough choice as Clarice's reward, and lastly... you've always been interested in old-world technology, so seeing a working model is definitely fascinating. You decide to pick that.

The merchant bows deeply, handing you each item as he accepts your payment. You bid farewell to those hard-grown peppers and onions, hoping they one day grow up to become a delicious, wholesome meal.

You poke a few of the buttons on the phone, attempting to figure out how it works, to no avail. You shrug, figuring your farmer's intuition will tell you when it'll come in handy, and pocket it for later. As you lean the jug against your body with your right hand, you use your left to hand the small sack of crystals to Clarice, whose eyes glow as she looks inside. The merchant bows once more, "I thank you for your business. May our trails pass once again," he says. Slapping the disturbing, quadrupedal hellspawn piloting his cart on the rump, it rears back, whistling a demonic neigh before settling down and trotting out of town, the merchant following in its wake.

You've certainly had an interesting day. It's fairly late in the afternoon now, what shall you do?

>Go home, cook peppers and beef for yourself.
>Go home, cook peppers and beef for yourself and Clarice.
>Go home, attempt to figure out the strange sellfone.
>Go home, sleep.
>Write-in
>>
>>39821268
>Go home, cook peppers and beef for yourself and Clarice.
>>
>>39821268
>Go home, attempt to figure out the strange sellfone.
>>
>>39821260
It more or less is. Some people just don't know the value of the items, and others appreciate the value of fresh home-grown produce much more. Since your town is the only one in the relative desert area with any form of farmable land, your produce is highly renowned. The reason the town itself is so small is because it's out of the way, and well off any usual trade routes. Only people who come this far out into desert they think is empty will find out about it.

Your town's got merchants who hoof it to other towns to trade, (your) peppers and onions in hand. Your town's like a secret little oasis, and you're all perfectly content that way.

As for more on the commonality of magical items, any Magi can make one if they tried hard enough and had some basic know-how. It just takes a lot of effort to make even basic enchantments. Magic items are fairly diverse and commonplace, as are Magi. Just not enough that any old chump can pump them out like an assembly line. Each needs some TLC to make, and that TLC is totally worth our fresh peppers and onions.
>>
>>39821407
Ah, thanks.
>>
>>Go home, cook peppers and beef for yourself and Clarice.
>>Go home, attempt to figure out the strange sellfone.
>>
>>39821311
>>39821332
Looks like I'll roll with these two. And speaking of rolling, roll 2d20. One for figuring out the device, the other for cooking delicious peppers and beef.

And on that note, how's about setting a difficulty?

>Pansy - Take the best of 3 rolls. Any loot and experience is reduced.
>Normal - Average the first 3 rolls, crits take precedence. Normal loot and experience levels.
>Hard - Take the worst of the first 3 rolls, crits take precedence. Increased loot and experience.
>Nightmare - Take the worst of the first 3 rolls. Crits on 17-20, critfails on 1-3. Vastly increased loot and experience.

(difficulties are subject to change depending on opinions)
>>
>>39821608

Normal, but only because worst of three rolls will result in our death in the next couple posts.
>>
>>39821608

European Extreme- take the worst of 5 rolls, no crits, only critfails
>>
Rolled 8, 17 = 25 (2d20)

>>39821608
>>39821640


>>39821686
>critfails on 1-19
>>
Rolled 6, 18 = 24 (2d20)

>>39821608
But in all seriousness, normal's usually the best difficulty when playing a game for the first time.
>>
>>39821703
>>39821789
I guess that makes sense, Normal will probably do.

I love how you guys are completely flopping the "figure out fone" roll while absolutely nailing the dinner one.
>>
Rolled 5, 10 = 15 (2d20)

>>39821608
Roll.
>>
>>39821703
>>39821789
>>39821868

>>39821608

Looks like a roll of 6 on the "figure out fone" aspect, and a roll of 15 on cooking your dinner special. Writing now.
>>
>>39821608

You head home, gesturing towards Clarice that she should join you, since she clearly doesn't have anything better to do. She grins, giving a short laugh. "How'd you guess I was free, Mister Hamilton? And besides that, what's for dinner?"

You crack your neck, poking and prodding this mysterious "fone" in any manner you can. These numbers must mean something. What could it be, though? You count the number of buttons, and find that it is equal to the number of... numbers, that are listed. Why would it count its own buttons? These devices are so /strange/.

Finally, you give up, pocketing the device and answering Clarice's question. "My special. Peppers and beef."

----

Clarice pats her stomach, clearly satisfied, despite not being too fond of peppers or onions, the latter of which you used as a beef supplement.

"Did you get better at cooking, Mister Hamilton? That was actually tasty!"

You grunt. "Of course it was. It's got my peppers in it. Now, since I can't seem to figure out my foney thing, how's about we take a look at your bag of rocks?"

Clarice lets out a "hmph" as she dumps her bag onto the table, sorting out the crystals that all look the same to you. She's got four distinct piles, with five, three, two and one gem in each, respectively. The lone gem is quite obviously different from the others, enough so that even you could tell it apart with ease. Clarice points to each in turn, telling you their names, "Mana Crystals, Resolve Crystals, Blank Seeds, and..." she picks up the final one.

Unlike the others, which were clear and translucent, this one is a swirling black diamond that she holds between her fingertips. She stares in awe at it. Looking at it gives you the same uneasy feeling you got from speaking with the merchant.

"An Oblivion Seed!" Clarice exclaims with unrestrained glee. "These things are worth THOUSANDS on the market! And to think we got it for just a couple of peppers..."

[1/2]
>>
>>39822127

>"Of course you did. My peppers are the best."
>"Thousands? That IS a lot of money..."
>"What makes them so valuable anyway?"
>"Oblivion what? Whatever it is, I don't like the looks of it. Get it out of my house."
>Write-in
>>
>>39822127
>>"What makes them so valuable anyway?"
>>
>>39822127
You scratch your head. Thousands? That seems a little too good to be true. So you ask, "What makes them so valuable anyway?"

Clarice smirks. "Well, that's simple. Magi across the desert would kill for these things! And I mean that literally. Collect enough of these, and they say you get a wish granted. Any wish you want."

A wish? Now that's just nonsense. You tell her as much, and she shrugs, saying, "I'm just telling you what I know, as a Magi myself. If they didn't work, why would they sell so well?"

Before you can ask anything else, a shrill scream pierces the air. Clarice gulps audibly. "Oh crap, that's my mom. It's way too late for me to be out! Thanks for the dinner Mister Hamilton gotta run bye!" She takes off like a rocket, practically leaving dust in her wake. In her rush, she seems to have forgotten her extremely valuable gems.

You shrug, shovel the gems back into the bag they came in, and set it on the table for her to come get tomorrow. For now, you head off to bed.

----

It didn't take long. In fact, it took less than two minutes for it all to go down. Some time into the night, you're awoken by the sound of cracking glass. Not having any glass windows in your simple home, you wonder what the source of the sound could be, and get up to investigate. You grab Old Trusty along the way and creep outside your room, looking for any source of an intruder.

Roll 1d20 to detect the source.
>>
Rolled 20 (1d20)

>>39822439
.
>>
>>39822473
Can't even give anyone else a chance to roll, can you? Just jump right to the 20s. I think it's safe to say you passed.
>>
>>39822439
You've never doubted your Farmer's Intuition (now a proper noun) before, and you have no reason to do so now. You follow your ears and gut instinct to determine the source of the noise: the small bag of gems.

The cracking noises intensify, and seem as though they're about to reach a breaking point. You feel a cold uneasiness settle in your gut, chilling you to the bone as the cracking continues.

>Peek inside the bag.
>Throw the entire bag out a window.
>Grab what you can and run.
>Just fucking run.
>>
>>39822557
>>39822557
>>Peek inside the bag.
>>
>>39822557
>Throw the entire bag out a window.
>for fuck' sake don't throw it into our pepper patch.
>>
>>39822557
>Throw the entire bag out a window.
>>
>>39822557
>Grab what you can and run.
>>
>>39822583
Peekaboo

>>39822607
>>39822650
Ain't having that in MY house (or pepper patch).

>>39822690
Fuck this, I'm out.

Looks like the toss is taking priority, unless any other takers come along in the next few minutes.
>>
>>39822557
You don't know what the shit that is, but it is NOT staying in your house. You quickly tighten the bag as much as its drawstrings will allow, and chuck it out one of your windows, as far as you can manage and away from your peppers.

The bad lands with a thump, then the entire world goes dark. The stars in the night sky flicker out, and you feel your innards upheave, as though you were in a freefall. You spot the small canvas sack rip to shreds as the most terrifying Hellspawn you've ever seen emerges from it, the translucent crystals scattering to the ground around it. The Hellspawn looks around, appears to sniff the air, then sets its eyes directly on you.

Your blood runs cold as your hair stands on end.

The Hellspawn zips forwards, seeming to slide across the ground more than walk. Thankfully, the distance you tossed it allows you to grab whatever you can before you run the fuck out of your house.

You manage to bundle the clay pot, your phone, some peppers and onions and a few other personable items into an old shirt before you book it out your front door, clutching your makeshift bag and old wooden baseball bat, Old Trusty.

You barely get a couple feet away from your house before it erupts in a shard of splinters. A lantern you don't recall turning on catches aflame, setting most of the remains of your house ablaze.

[1/2]
>>
>>39822885

The putrid stench of rotten flesh fills your nostrils, while the crackling fire of what was once your home burns behind you. You lay prostrate across the sandy ground, slowly pushing yourself to your knees. You look ahead of you to see the cause of the carnage: a Hellspawn; a monstrous, demonic creature like no other. They come in all manner of shapes and sizes, though this one in particular is roughly humanoid, and you use the term "rough" very lightly.

It's form is gargantuan to you, from your position on your knees. Its brutish, hulking figure looms over you. Draped over its form is a mass of flowing black resembling a set of robes, though it's clear from this distance that it is simply the creature's body, compromised more of shadow than flesh. Its hunched back bends forwards to end in a horse-like skull with a wide jaw that reaches from cheek to cheek and then some, giving it the appearance of a terrible grin. Two arms sprout from the main body, ending in a number of mismatched, jagged appendages vaguely resembling fingers. It breathes a hot, rancid breath in your face as it reaches towards you.

Hellspawns ordinarily require one or more Magi to subdue and kill. You, a normal human, are currently alone, face-to-face with one of these monsters.

You don't need your Farmer's Intuition to tell you this is very, very bad.

>Sweet mother of christ grab your shit and GO
>Try to keep it at bay and pray that Clarice notices something's wrong and swoops in to save you.
>THIS BEAST SETS FOOT ON YOUR LAND, DESTROYS YOUR HOUSE, AND THREATENS YOUR LIFE? SHOW IT YOU'RE NOT A FARMER TO FUCK WITH.
>>Use Old Trusty
>>ENGAGE IN FISTICUFFS
>>Other (specify)
>Write-in

Whatever your choice, roll 1d20 for your choice.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d20)

>>39822941
>Use Old Trusty
Remember to always have some pocket sand on hand.
>>
>>39822941
>Sweet mother of christ grab your shit and GO
IM JUST A FARMER
>>
Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>39822941
>THIS BEAST SETS FOOT ON YOUR LAND, DESTROYS YOUR HOUSE, AND THREATENS YOUR LIFE? SHOW IT YOU'RE NOT A FARMER TO FUCK WITH.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>39822941
>>Sweet mother of christ grab your shit and GO
>>
So, uh, I don't know how many people are active right now, but I'm pretty sure it's not enough to get one of the options to three dice rolls.
>>
>>39823055
Prrrrobably not. But it looks like grab your shit and go is the winner here, so if two people want to roll for that again so we can get a proper average, we can carry on.
>>
>>39823072
Well there ARE three rolls there...
Pls, it's a pretty good result.
>>
>>39823089
Fair enough. I guess that'll do, then.

Writing.
>>
>>39822941
Looks like you got a result of 13. That'll do.

You're just a goddamn FARMER, this shouldn't be happening, you're not ready for this. You grab your shit and fucking GO.

The Hellspawn is hot on your heels, but it probably didn't expect to go against the buffest and most resilient bastard this little unnamed town has ever had, so you effectively manage to outpace it, if only just.

The landscape around you warps and twists in a nightmarish mockery of the real world. The starless sky is only lit by a blood-red moon, casting an equally red glow across the ground.

You keep the Hellspawn away for a time, simply running straight and occasionally turning around whatever corner permits itself in the shifting lands, but even you have your limits, and eventually begin to tire out.

The monster, though, experiences no such effects.

You've looped around this distorted version of your town enough times to re-orient yourself facing your mostly demolished home again. Chunks of flaming wood rain down from the roof occasionally, while beyond that, the desert seems to stretch into infinity, bathed under the red glow of this evil moon.

>Run into and through your collapsing house.
>Run into the fields.
>Run towards your tree.
>Run out into the desert.
>>
>>39823206
>Run into and through your collapsing house.

Perhaps the fire can discourage the bloody thing.

See if we can grab a weapon if it does not.
>>
>>39823206
>Run into and through your collapsing house.
>>
>>39823283
>>39823299

Writing this up now, unless someone else comes along and mixes up the votes.
>>
>>39823206
You pray that the fire will keep the thing at bay, and charge back into your collapsing house. Hot ash rains down on you, singing your head. You're so thoroughly sweaty that you don't quite catch aflame, which is lucky for you.

The fires seem to give the Hellspawn pause, giving you time to search through whatever's still intact in your home.

The only things of note you uncover are your hoe and the bucket of dirty water you washed the vegetables in earlier in the day.

You take a moment to catch your breath, though the smoke doesn't allow for much of that anyway. You lean against something as you rest, only to do a doubletake at the thing you were leaning against.

The main support beam holding your roof up. The fire seems to have sufficiently weakened it enough such that a good whack will send it all tumbling down. The only question is whether you'd be able to get out in time if you were to do that.

>Wait in here for help.
>TO HELL WITH WAITING, USE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING AGAINST THE BEAST: Old Trusty, Hoe, Fisticuffs, Dirty Water.
>Try to lure it inside and drop the place on top of it.
>Write-in

Whatever you choose, roll 1d20.

(we're nearing the end of tonight, bare with me boys)
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>39823479
>Try to lure it inside and drop the place on top of it.
>>
Rolled 14 (1d20)

>>39823479
>Try to lure it inside and drop the place on top of it.
>>
File: 1422137043102.gif (930 KB, 448x252)
930 KB
930 KB GIF
>>39823503
Excellent!
>>
Rolled 15 (1d20)

>>39823479
>Try to lure it inside and drop the place on top of it.
>perhaps we can lure it by chucking the GHOST PEPPER water at it, that oughta get it's attention
>>
>>39823479
This is probably the worst idea you've had all day. The absolute worst.

But you've got no other choice.

You boot open the remains of your front door and stare the demon right in the eyes. It is clearly unamused that you have managed to survive for so long in its domain. You shout with all your righteous farmer fury at the Hellspawn, "HEY, FUCKFACE! GET THE HELL OVER HERE YOU SHADOWY PRICK! YOU WANT TO EAT ME? WELL, BITE MY ARSE THEN!" To punctuate your point, you take a few steps out of your flaming abode and flip the demon the bird.

It is FURIOUS now. The shadows making up its lower half flicker intensely, almost like the flames currently consuming your house, as it zips forwards, one arm poised and ready to claw your head clean off your neck.

You hold steady as it approaches. Wait for it... wait for it... NOW!

You splash the pepper water at the monster's face, and it leaks into the open holes in its bare skull, causing the monster to flail about madly. You take that as your cue to run back inside, praying that it follows you.

With a mighty wind-up, you knock your fist clean through the damaged support in a single, fierce, kiting blow as you continue to run past without pause, and out the shattered wall where once there was a that you threw a sack of gems out of.

The entire structure collapses with a deafening clatter, followed by a massive eruption of smoke and embers ejecting themselves into the sky.

The sky which, soon enough, regains its normal carpet of twinkling stars. You pant madly, sweaty, burnt, and exhausted.

You pass out.
>>
And that's all for tonight! It wasn't a very big audience, but I enjoyed the hell out of it. I hope you guys did too! I'll see if I can figure out how to archive this thing...

Did you guys enjoy? You must have if you kept posting. I'll probably start the second one same time next week if you're all still into it. With luck I'll get a bit more of an audience too.
>>
>>39823652
Yup, it's pretty good so far. Looking forward to exploring more of the setting. And I especially love the MC.

Thanks for running.
>>
>>39823652
You had 10 players, so that's good enough for your first thread. Make a Twitter so we can follow you and you can let us know when you'll be running again.
>>
Oh, and you might want to make a twitter account for this.
>>
>>39823652
Thanks for running.

Hope we get to scavenge some parts from the hellspawn.
>>
>>39823687
I'll throw up a twitter real quick and post it. I'll also put together some stuff on Pastebin for reference, but I'll handle that tomorrow. For now I'll just make the twitter real quick and head off to bed, seeing as it's past 3am right now.
>>
>>39823712
There we go, hope I did this right.

Find me on twitter at @AppyTheQM
>>
And archived!

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/39817769/

With that, I'm off for the night.
>>
>>39823744
>that following list
I came this close to sperging, OP.
>>
>>39823832
I just clicked things. I figured you couldn't make an account without following at least one person. Not like I'll be using it for anything other than my quest anyway. I'll sort it out tomorrow. Or today, considering the time.



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