Why are you not using flourishes in your game, /tg/?>by Robin D. Laws>No matter how puny the effects they wield, those haughty wizards and self-righteous clerics carry on as if their supernatural summonings were the be-all and end-all of dungeon-delving and foe-smiting. Uncompromising wrath? Of Color Spray? Hogwash! Color Spray is just a puny 1st-level spell that knocks out wimpy creatures and momentarily blinds or stuns tougher ones, and while your wizard is casting it, you're mowing down opponents left and right with your greatsword, dealing mammoth quantities of damage thanks to your Improved Critical (greatsword) feat. And what credit do you get for it? None! It's all ethereal this and elemental that!>The reason the magic types can hog the spotlight so well is because their signature actions have built-in cool names. They didn't even have to make up the names themselves; that verbiage came prepackaged with their prefab spell lists! From there, all a wizard or cleric has to do is build a few fancy words around one of those spell names, and presto! A perfect route to glory.>Well, grumble and curse no more, proud practitioners of the whup-ass arts! You can easily remedy the situation by slapping cool names of your own on the moves you most often perform in combat. The next time you dish out a 22-point critical hit, everyone will remember it. Why? Because it won't just be a generic 22-point critical hit anymore; it'll be your patented hideous rain of death!Examples coming in the next several posts.
Classical SwordsmanshipThis style is inspired by European fencing. It works well for a character of noble family from a medieval or renaissance culture.Flourishes: No real-world combat discipline maps completely to the swashbuckling, fantastic style of D&D combat, so it's usually necessary to embellish (or replace existing terminology with words that sound appropriate. Names for fencing maneuvers are French or Spanish, so they tend to sound exotic and stylish to English- speakers. Your flourishes should make use of that impression. When devising new names for your combat maneuvers, use a French-English or Spanish-English dictionary, or use one of the various translator sites found on the internet like the Babelfish translator at http://babelfish.altafista.com/translate.dynThe phrases used below are derived from real—world fencing terms, but most have been embellished to sound both appropriate and exotic. The faux-French terms describe obviously forceful moves with distaste, while their pseudo-Spanish counterparts allow for a greater degree of machismo and bravado.Standard Attack: “Ataque estandar!” or “Attaque typique!”Fighting Defensively: “Pris de fer!”Total Defense: “Defensa vergonzosa!” or “Valor discretionnaire!”Cleave: “Sable feroz!” or “Saber de gauche!”Combat Reﬂexes: “Riposte!”Dodge: “Regate!” or “Detour elegant!”Expertise: Varies, as below:-1 on attack rolls, +1 to AC: “Ajustement insignifiant!”-3 on attack rolls, +3 to AC: “Impot de l’ajustement”-5 on attack rolls, +5 to AC: “Prolongation malheureuse!”Great Cleave: “Sable muy feroz!” or “Grand coup inelegant”Improved Bull Rush: “Asimiento de la dominacion!" or “Affichage brut!"Improved Critical: “Huelga devastadora!"or "Coup adroit!"Power Attack: “Fleche!”Spring Attack: “Balestra!”Whirlwind Attack: “Ataque del torbellino!” or “Danse de boucherie!”
ChivalricBackground: You were raised to fight in heavy armor. on or off a horse. In all likelihood, you come from a noble background and can point to a long line of equally martial ancestors. When making war For your liege, you become part of an elite, equestrian shock troop that dominates the battleﬁeld, running over grubby, squalid infantrymen with lordly abandon. When at play, you direct blows at your fellow knights as you engage in displays of single combat and in the most splendid contest of all--the joust. Steeped in the codes of chivalry, you've devoured volumes of epic poetry in which knights kill one other and suffer tortured love for maidens who cannot be theirs. Your appreciation of such literature and the culture behind it forms the foundation for your exclamations in combat and much of your motivation for adventuring.Flourishes: Use poetic terms for your favorite battle maneuvers. Most of those given below reference the epic poem Chanson de Allandra, which any self- respecting knight knows by heart. Many use the names of characters from the poem: the brave Pepin, the righteous Adrian, and Allandra, the mysterious warrior-woman whose love for both knights leads to melancholy doom for all.To create new flourishes for this theme, haul out your thesaurus and pry loose its most flowery and obscure terms.Fighting Defensively: “Bridge of Pepin!"Total Defense: "Allandra's stand!"Cleave: "Efﬂorescing bIow!"Combat Reﬂexes: "Just resurgence!"Dodge: "Blessing of St. Alibert!"Expertise: Varies, as below. -1 on attack rolls, +1 to AC: "The moat at Alambar!" -3 on attack rolls, +3 to AC: "Adrian’s cunning!" -5 on attack rolls, +5 to AC: "Pepin at Orc—Mount!"Great Cleave: “Sword of Montcriefl"Improved Bul Rush: "Friar's charge!"Improved Critical: "Exalted on a spear!"Power Attack: "Pepin's last!”Spring Attack: “Leap from Guillemond’s Hill!"Whirlwind Attack: "Gale of Doom!"
Infantry FightingBackground: You are no effete, puffy-shirted nobleman who learned to fight with a silver spoon in his mouth. Nor are you a wealthy, landed knight encased safely in plate armor, wearing a helmet topped with a feathery plume. Your aching back. grime—caked skin, and world-weary attitude all mark the time you spent as a common foot soldier. You learned to fight alongside a mass of other men while a cruel, hardened drillmaster shouted instructions and obscenities at you in equal measure. You honed your experience knee-deep in mud, clashing sword and shield against the enemy, while comrades died in droves around you. Courage, discipline. and luck were your protectors.Flourishes: Combat flourishes for this theme should be blunt and straightforward, arising either from real-life infantry practices or from the common soldier's gallows humor. When delivering them, bark them out in a drill sergeant's grunt—the less intelligible they are, the better. if your game group has developed a tolerance for salty language. you might insert some ripe obscenities into their your dialogue as well. The movie Full Metal Jacket can provide you with plenty of inspiration, though any epithets borrowed from it should, of course, be altered to ﬁt a medieval mood.Standard Attack: "Charge!"Fighting Defensively: “Raise shields!"Total Defense: "@#*%!"Cleave: "Downthrust!"Combat Reﬂexes: “Got you now!"Dodge: “Every man For himself!"Expertise: Varies, as below.-1 on attack rolls, +1 to AC: “ls that so?"-3 on attack rolls, +3 ro AC: "Think you're tough, do you?"-5 on attack rolls, +5 to AC: "Merciful gods, defend me!"Great Cleave: "Downthrust—hunnhh!"Improved Bull Rush: "Shield charge!"Improved Critical: “Die, you swine, die-e-e—e—e—ee!"Power Attack: "Kill!"Rapid Shot: “Shoot the swine down!"Spring Attack: "Over the top!"Whirlwind Attack: "Die, die, die, die, all you swine!"
Pit-Fighter TauntingBackground: On the harsh streets of a large city, you learned that fighting dirty was the only way to survive. Thieves, ne'er-do-wells, and bullies were your tutors, delivering their lessons with their fists, feet, elbows, and makeshift weapons. Finally, in an earthen pit at an undisclosed location outside of town, you discovered that your hard-earned talents could be profitable. Hundreds of nameless faces gathered to watch as you theatrically demonstrated your combat prowess in the fighting ring, and they poured the contents of their purses on you when you won. As a professional battler, you gradually learned that the most flamboyant and vocal fighters won the largest rewards. So you resurrected the taunts of your childhood days, exclaiming them at dramatically appropriate moments, and you prospered.Flourishes: To get inspiration for new flourishes, tune in a wrestling show on TV and alter the references as needed to ﬁt the fantasy genre. Or just remember the dumbest, most annoying things you ever yelled on the playground at the age of seven.Standard Attack: "Eat steel, maggot!"Fighting Defensively: "You can't hit me! You can't hit me!"Total Defense: "You're getting tired! You're getting tired!"Cleave: "Butcher blow!"Combat Reﬂcxes: "Think you're smart, do you? I'll show you who's smart!"Dodge: "Blind man! Blind man!"Expertise: Varies, as below.-1 on attack rolls, +1 to AC: "I know that move!"-3 on attack mils, +3 to AC: "Your mother hits harder than that!"-5 on attack rolls, +5 to AC: "You'll never touch me!"Great Cleave: "Welcome to the chopping block!"Improved Bull Rush: "Stompdown!"Improved Critical: "I crush your head!"Power Attack: "You are pummeled now! Pummeled!"Rapid Shot: (make a sound like whooshing arrows)Spring Attack: "Total puma leap!"Stunning Fist: "Stunning fist!"Whirlwind Attack: “Multiple ultra death!"
OP, this is just stupid.
WizardlyBackground: Most people think of wizards as sedentary beings who are comfortable dispensing long-distance fireballs but loath to dirty their hands in the hurly-burly of direct melee combat. Your extensive training in the wizardly arts of self-defense proves otherwise. Knowing that sometimes the most effective expenditure of energy is a simple yet surprising sock to the jaw, wizards long ago perfected estabat quendic - a system of armed and unarmed combat that derives its logic from the same mystical and geometric principles that underlie the mightiest spells. Just like the incantations that ﬁll your spellbook, each maneuver associated with this esoteric combat art has its own distinctively flavorful name, which can be shouted out in midﬁght to dazzle the ears of the uninitiated.Standard Attack: "Aha! You did not expect me to be adept in the mundane arts of war, but a true wizard's training includes a mastery of the physical as well as the mystical realm!" (This prolix exclamation is best used sparingly.)Fighting Defensively: "Buckler of ever-bright Edinshore!"Total Defense: "Seven shields of the seraphim!"Cleave: “Razory hammer of Rahan-Nesh!"Combat Reﬂexes: “Equal and opposite reaction!"Deﬂect Arrows: "Raging mists of Racil-Hoth!"Dodge: “Sixteen circles of Shaka-Tor!"Expertise: Varies, as below.-1 on attack mils, +1 to AC: "Phan Tor's first principle!"-3 on attack rolls, +3 to AC: "Phan Tor's third principle!"-5 on attack rolls, +5 to AC: "Phan Tor's fifth principle!"Great Cleave: "Dread vengeance of Rahan-Nesh!"Improved Bull Rush: "Battering blows of Baran-Dur!"Improved Critical: "Seeking shards of Sharok-Nt‘tr!"Power Attack: “Unerring emphasis of Unoth-Zaad!"Rapid Shot: “Mothok-Mor's manifold missiles!"Spring Attack: "Leap of feral Fo-Hor-Chak!"Stunning Fist: “Reverberating thump of Thutak!"Whirlwind Attack: “Blaze of blood-mad Baran-To!"
>>40364091To be honest, this i s bd, it just hits hilarious again
ElvenBackground: Elven warriors taught you the subtle secrets of the discipline they call halantrad, or battlecraft. The philosophy behind halantrad draws heavily on the fundamental cycles of nature. from its slowly turning seasons to the inevitable cycle of birth, life, death, and rebirth. Thus, its tutors often use metaphors involving nature not only to describe each move, but also to demonstrate its role in the great mystical oneness that animates all things.Even as you slay an orc, demon, or other disciple of destruction and madness, you know that you and your opponent are inexorably bound to one another, just as a creature is bound to its reflected image in a limpid pond. While sending enemies to their deaths, you meditate profoundly on the sanctity of life.Flourishes: Use as many images of the natural world as possible in your flourishes. For the purpose of this theme, sounding poetic is more important than using phrases that actually mean anything. Describe acts of violence as if they were extremely gentle. Flourishes for deadly maneuvers should be reverently whispered, not boldly shouted.Standard Attack: "Falling of the sharp-edged leaf!"Fighting Defensively: “The elusiveness of pattering rain!"Total Defense: “Into winter's shell retreat!"Cleave: "By sudden eternity pierced!"Combat Reﬂexes: “Predator made prey!"Deflect Arrows: “By mist gently cloaked!"Dodge: “As the wind carries fog!"Expertise: Varies, as below.-1 on attack rolls,-1 to AC: "Backward runs the stream!"-3 on attack rolls,+3 to AC: "The current stands reversed!"-5 on attack rolls,+5 to AC: “Upward runs the falls!"Great Cleave: "Mortality's aching kiss!"Improved Bull Rush: “Earth’s enveloping cascade!"Improved Critical: "Time's insinuating lyre!"Power Attack: "Unleashed by nature's Fury!"Rapid Shot: "Storm of mournful hail!"Spring Attack: "By ocean droplets sprayed!"Stunning Fist: "Forced harmony!"Whirlwind Attack: "Gray sky scything!"
>>40364132If you like it, you can read the full images for even more examples, or you can use the transcription I copied and pasted from here:http://www.thanforeen.com/Thanforeen/-Fear_the_Invincible_Blade.html
This is fucking awful. The idea of shouting these out - or hearing them shouted out - is cringeworthy. Robin D. Laws needs to stop fucking writing.
>>40364230Can you imagine the autism inherent in this whole article? Shit, I actually liked some of Robin D. Laws novels, but this is pretty embarrassing. It's like that martial art in Exalted which involves getting naked.
>>40364230Do you not like shouting out LIGHTNING TIGER BLADE?
>>40364285...narrow that down.
>>40364230What gets me is that somebody can look at 3.PF and be like "nah the classes are totally balanced, it's just that the wizard has COOLER NAMES" as though renaming magic to "poopshit for wimps" and fighters to "GodKings of DeathBattle" would just even it right out.
>>40364357Dream Pearl Courtesan style, I think. I mean, I get that it's a really deadly martial art, but when the first move is "Your opponent unwinds the starmetal bindings from her voluptuous form, and wields them as whips." things get a little uncomfortable.
So, someone has REALLY, write that?
>>40363968Frenchfag here, most of those sound dumb as fuck. And the words are close enough to English that you probably notice it too. "Ajustement insignifiant"? Insignificant adjustment? I bet you'll have the goblins running for their lives in no time.Anyway, since we're talking 3e here, those don't see much use. The wizard is casting something cool every turn, while MOST turns you're just doing your standard attack (sorry, "attack E-standard"), or once in a while a critical (which will be notable regardless of how you call it). If you want to play cool martials with cool special attacks, play fucking 4e.
>>40364371Nah, Dreaming Pearl is the one that loves long robes and sleeves that almost trail to the floor. It's big on overblown, flowy costumes.I think you mean Laughing Wounds maybe? The BDSM martial art. Or maybe the Sid Martial Art Sapphire Veil of Passion....dammit Exalted, you have way too many of these.
>>40364144>Elven Total Defense>Nature's Servant Awaits
So your answer to magic being over-powered is to go full Exalted?You never go full Exalted.
>>40363919>while your wizard is casting it, you're mowing down opponents left and rightBut it's a standard action... so you would kill all of one enemy at best. (Obviously I mean without extreme powergaming or wimpy enemies lining up to be Great Cleaved as fast as possible.)Does this author count the hours the wizard bitches about being out of spells as part of the casting time?
>>40364429>not AZURE EDGE!
all this makes me want to do is run another super robot campaignThe previous one had absurd monologues, attack names and more, with warcries like >"The warrior that brings judgement to evil, hear me! Stand, Invincible Raikreiger!">"Twin dragons of the long forgotten tradition, bring the reckoning of fire! 臨兵闘者皆陣列前行!
>>40363919next step: the casters start invoking like they're Lina Inverse.and anyway, like people weren't doing this anyway, but with more style.it's the mechanics behind the 'I attack with my weapon' fighter that are boring, to say nothing of the power level since that depends on the edition.
>>40364453D&D 4e makes a remarkably good SRW-style Mech game. A lot of Strikers (Fast/Accurate/Squishy) work well as how SRW does reals and the Giganscudo is horribly well represented by Wardens and their ability to just give no fucks about attacks and lock people down.
It's a sword.The pointy end goes in to the other guy, and if possible, you use the sharp side to cut him.You're not defying physics here.Chill out, warriors, you shouldnt be threatened because Wizards have names for spells, for fucks sake.Do you really want to scream out the names of your attacks?SINGLE SWORD SLICE!DOWNWARD HAMMER STRIKE!TWO KNIVES AS ONE!CHARGING POWER ATTACK!GETTER BEAM!
>>40363919Because my games are not anime.
>>40364515DRAGON SWARM!SHINING FANG!
>>40364515you should always finish your opponent with a Tramazzone, it's just polite.but no need to scream it out, there might be ladies overlooking the grounds.
>>40363968Spanishfag here.I'd laugh my ass of if someone yelled "Ataque estándar" or, even worse, "Defensa vergonzosa" (Shameful defense) or "huelga devastadora" (catastrophic strike... as in "union strike").What the hell was he thinking?I mean, I can appreciate wuxia-style extravagantly named attacks, but oh god the execution is so bad, it's cringeful.
>>40364579I can imagine a boxing match with boxers being retarded like that.SERIOUS JABS!UPPERCUT SWING!MAGNUM PUNCH!SIDESTEP DODGE!CROSS COUNTER!
>>40364664What's wrong with "Ataque estándar"?
>>40364664it would be better to go all Riddle of Steel, describing stances, strikes, and all that martial minutiae - describing, not shouting the names out, that's retarded.even that would get old fast, and should be reserved to important foes.
>>40364579BLADE REVEAL YOUR FURY!DRAGON TEMPEST!
>>40364702it's literally 'standard attack', wtf. no fencing move ever used that name.
>>40364738FOUR LEGS IN THE MORNING!TWO LEGS IN THE AFTERNOON!NO HEADS IN THE EVENING!
>>40364738O NOBLE CONFLAGRATION, INCINERATE ALL!RAZING PHOENIX!
METEOR SWARM!I win.
>>40364830You forgot to add BIATCH to the end of that.
In a game I run there's a system of "Star" points that are allocated each session. If a player wants to do some really crazy flashy shit that does more actions than normal they can describe what theyre doing and spend their points to do it.Examples:>Kobold sorcerer realizes the tanky fighter's got a bit too much on his plate, so she hops up on his shoulders and starts firing spells from atop him. Later the fighter throws the sorcerer over the enemy group while she rains death down from above. She lands and quickly hurls a lightning bolt through the crowd, and the fighter uses his rune blade to catch it on the other side, empowering his weapon for 1d6 extra elecrical damage until the end of the encounter.>party scattered across the battlefield spends star points to all move back to one group, draw their ranged weapons and rapid fire upon the wounded boss as a finishing move.We play it more like a Sentai TV show when it comes to combat. It's a lot of fun.
"Blade in hand I will seal Justice, steady. Vibro Edge!"
>>40364812Nope. Featherfall is an immediate action spell: I cast it to slow your meteors to nigh harmlessness. Get fucked.
>>40363919>Why are you not using flourishes in your game, /tg/?I don't play D&D because it's awful. Caster supremacy is one of the least-concerning things about the game.
>>40363968>>40364384I'm neither French or Spanish, but yes, they sound really really dumb.This thing is shit. Unless it's meant to be a joke, in which case it's brilliant.
>>40364774Now that I have to use, if I ever make a monk.
>>40365020HAH! Not a fighter; we wizards still win.
>>40365121Three of those are legit fencing terms (Riposte, Fleche, Balestra), but if you start shouting them out during a match I'm pretty sure they would kick you out.
>>40365151SERENITY OF THE WHITE DOVE!SLOWING WHIRLWIND STRIKE TO LESSEN THE FALL OF YOUR METEORS!
>>40363919It sounds weird as fuck.Casters have their thing because they're invoking shit.All I want to do is shield bash a fucker and then smash his friends face in with a mace.For whoever's paying, of course.
>>40364443Bravo, sir. That made my morning.
This is stupid. Extra stupid.Good times.Good job to the article author for being an oblivious idiot.
>>40365347you gonna continue that or what
>>40366059That's all I've ever seen, man.But it helps for getting the gist of it.
>>40364384>if you want martials that are anything other than window dressing play 4eFixed it for you
People bitch and complain that wizards are OP meanwhile Fighters are hitting for 80+ four times a round minimum on EVERY round, not counting attacks of opportunity.
>>40364515Gadwins Secret Move: Dragon King Slice!
>>40365347He also casts Lightning Bolt (a spear), Sleep (a sleeper hold) and Invisibility (gouges a guy's eyes out). Man, fucking Wizards.
While these are incredibly silly I do believe that Marcia classes could use a little churching up in regards to the naming and associated verbiage with their abilities. Fighters should receive special maneuvers that reflect their abilities.
>>40367362They've tried that.Half (or more) of the D&D "fanbase" throws a massive autistic fit.The solution isn't to "fix" D&D, it's to ignore it, not play it, and pretend it doesn't exist.There are too many other, BETTER, game systems for people to get stuck on D&D and its issues. Or to deal with its "diehard fans".
>>40367617>The solution isn't to "fix" D&D, it's to ignore it, not play it, and pretend it doesn't exist.Please stop using "D&D" to mean "D&D 3e and maybe 5e". When IN THE VERY SAME POST you pointed out that in one edition they solved that specific problem.
>>40367617>Making fighters into superhero magicians in 4E is not the same thing as giving them an interesting fighting style based on real-world combat techniques. >4E didn't solve anything
>>403683454e solved a lot of things. Unfortunately it also made several things so much worse that it wasn't worth playing.
>>403683454e was just the designers finally admitting they had no idea how to balance the classes without making everyone magic.
>>40364774>>40365142Now I just want to make an old Asian character that gives moral-of-the-story-sounding contrived bullshit after basically anything happens.IN MANS HEAD THERE WAS DREAM TO KILL THEN GUARD TAKE DREAMAND HEAD ALONG WITH ITSCRY FOR SCRYMAKE WHOLE WORLD FINDTHIS MAN WE TRACKSO THIS MAN WE MAY BRING BACKSOLDIER KNOWWHY TREE MUST GROWTREE ASK WHYSOLDIER MUST DIEJUST AS SILKWORM MUST EATSO MUST I FIND THE RESTROOMThis is too much fun.
>>40368400 >I can't think of anything at the moment but trust me by the time you reply I will be spouting the same old rhetoric that means nothingOh boy, this shit again.
>>40368474I wish they'd remembered that lesson come 5e.
>>40363919>>40363968>>40363991>>40364020>>40364069>>40364096>>40364144>ITT: Us Martials are totally relevant! Look, we can have cool names on our stuff as well! Surely that makes us just as good as those loser Casters, right? R-right, guys?
I don't think I understand what purpose this all serves.Can someone explain the point to me?
>>40369649It's basically trying to put forth that magic is only seen as powerful because the names sounds cool and the martials are just as good... no, really!
>>40366334I cast sleep.
>>40369677To be fair, martials not having much to do is part of the problem. Even if we compare a relatively un-optimised "blaster wizard" who mostly uses direct damage spells like fireballs and magic missiles instead of the "god-wizard" who flies, turns invisible and throws save-or-die spells all over the place, the wizard still has a variety of spells for different situations (area of effect spells for large groups of enemies, powerful single-target spells when fighting a few tough enemies, plus variety of utility spells; even a blaster wizard probably has a few spells like knock), while fighter has...hitting things with a sword, and maybe hitting multiple nearby enemies with a sword.
>>40370081You could just play 4e if it bothers you.
>>40365121>>40369649>Unless it's meant to be a joke, in which case it's brilliant.>Can someone explain the point to me?It's blatantly satire, the article is parodying all the idiotic "Fighters aren't bad, you just have to ~~ROLEPLAY~~ your basic attacks!" arguments. Notice how all the moves are the same shitty things fighters could always do (hell most of them aren't even things that are restricted to just fighters), but with dumb-sounding names attached.What OP and the author are pointing out is that even if you roleplay out every one of your attacks, you're still just doing the same three things over and over again, no matter what you call them.
>>40370560"Just play 4E!" is right up there with "Have you tried not playing D&D?" Is it good advice? Yeah probably. But it's just not that easy for a lot of people, it depends on your group and I can tell you there's a ton of groups that won't make the switch from 3.PF to 5E, let alone 4e.Hell my old DM wouldn't let us use tome of battle.
>>40370560I think the point he is trying to make is that it shouldn't BE a issue, not play another edition.All editions of D&D, save 4e and 5e to a point, had the caster v. martial contribution problem.
>>40370774Actually it's mostly just a 3.5 thing. While in AD&D Fighters were kind of boring to play as they didn't have the huge breadth of options casters got, the way the system math worked out they were useful even at higher levels. They did huge amounts of damage, had great saves, had a great THAC0, etc.
>>40370081Yeah I was just being cheeky. I actually think it's a neat roleplaying tool if anything.If I'm forced to play 3.X martials though I'm doing some tome of battle stuff or making a skill monkey.However skill monkey almost always ends up being>I don't care if you rolled a 30 bluff and have a hat of disguise he can see through it because otherwise my game would fall apartIt's just something inherent to the system I think.
>>40364020> Total Defense: "Fuck!">Dodge: “Every man For himself!">"Downthrust—hunnhh!">“Die, you swine, die-e-e—e—e—ee!">"Shoot the swine down!">"Die, die, die, die, all you swine!"Infantry confirmed for best flourishes
>>40370906Also back then a wizard actually needed martials to keep him safe most of the time. You got hit by anything while casting a spell, the spell failed. Made it extremely difficult to get any spell off without having somebody to keep enemies off of you.Wizards in early DnD were essentially artillery (infact, the earliest rules for wizards in the proto-DnD wargames were based on catapults and other siege engines). Able to blow up scores of enemies, but very vulnerable and useless if the enemy got close to them. The wizard would support the fighter from the back, while the fighter dealt damage up close and kept the wizard's squishy ass out of trouble.
>>40369885Doesn't work past level 4, nerd. *Unsheathes katana*>>40370618Strength check to get out of it. Oh whats that? It beat your caster level check super easy? Fucking who would have thought. *Teleports behind you*
>>40370612>It's blatantly satireYou underestimate a writer's idiocy.
>>40372997Forcecage can't be beaten by Strength checks.
>>40372997>calls anon a nerd>katana user>doesn't know how forcecage works>teleports behind opponent"Nothing personal, kid."
>>40364096muscle wizard casts fist dot jay pee gee
>>40374511>>40378651Actually it can at the game I'm in. Also>blowing 1,500 gold per cast because you are so upset at one guy>who beats you in initiative and cuts your head off before you have a chance to reactYeah, while youre blowing all your money on casting spells I've already bought all the gear I need to royally fuck you over out of everything you can do.>inb4 wizard defence forceYou are platinum mad.
>>40379743Well I'm a psion, I already know you're plan before your doing it. *unzips mental dick*
>>40379743>>who beats you in initiative>beats you in initiative>what is Celerity
>>40363919It's a nice idea, though I wouldn't pay money for it and it's definitely not relevant to all the martial-types I play (but it is relevant to some).Though, a couple nitpicks:Color Spray is a standard action, so even if we call it move+cast (for a full round's actions), a martial-type gets 1 full attack.Also, if a Wizard is casting Color Spray (1st level spell) in the same party as someone with Improved Critical (requires BAB 8) something is off. Though, come to think of it, that would help with the caster supremacy issues inherent in the game.
>>40371316Not to mention that when the fighter started accruing extra attacks, they were at full BAB/THAC0 - his last attack in the round was just as accurate as the first.
>>40379743>Actually it can at the game I'm in.>"Houserules mean RAW isn't broken"
The only thing more pitiful than martials trying to look cool or useful is how defensive and pissy casters get when the martials dare.
>>40363919Uh hey. Here's a thought.Instead of buffing martials to an absurd degree, how about you nerf spellcasters?
>>40363919>>No matter how puny the effects they wield, those haughty wizards and self-righteous clerics carry on as if their supernatural summonings were the be-all and end-all of dungeon-delving and foe-smiting. Uncompromising wrath? Of Color Spray? Hogwash! Color Spray is just a puny 1st-level spell that knocks out wimpy creatures and momentarily blinds or stuns tougher ones, and while your wizard is casting it, you're mowing down opponents left and right with your greatsword, dealing mammoth quantities of damage thanks to your Improved Critical (greatsword) feat. And what credit do you get for it? None! It's all ethereal this and elemental that!This is written by somebody who has never played a Wizard. At level 1, I once took out 6 lvl 1 bandits with 1 Standard Action with Color Spray. Oh sure, "unconscious" instead of "dead," but since there were only 6 enemies, I had a leisurely time with a knife. Wizards aren't haughty because their powers SOUND powerful in a hitpiece written by an idiot - indeed, they are very easy to make sound stupid. No, wizards are haughty because their powers ARE powerful.Which also means the proposed solution - "Let's give cool names to the Fighter's sub-par abilities" - will solve exactly nothing.
>>40384305A wizard casting Color Spray at level 8 (when the fighter can have Improved Critical) is an idiot.
>>40363919While the execution is abyssmal, the idea itself is solid.Rather than shouting out attacks mind you, people need to get creative with their attacks and their descriptions. Problem is personally I have no idea how to do that because I don't have the faintest idea about swordfighting.It's fairly easy to come up with say interesting unarmed maneuvers, but swordfighting?>stab>slashes of various directions>pummel with the butt of the hiltThat's about it. What else can you do while having to fit into the conventional turn based attack-defense-attack pattern?
>>40384350Sorry, I don't keep track of what levels sub-par feats become available. I assumed they were all level 1 because that's when you'd use the spell he had in his example.
>>40384305>GM didn't have the bandit's allies kick them awake and kill your ass, or have them attack from like, MORE THAN ONE AREAJust because your GM is a moron doesn't mean everyone's is.
>>40384373Unconscious =/= sleeping
>>40384112I agree. Giving names to fighter attacks is over the line. Instead, remove all the spell names. Let's see if the wizard still hogs the spotlight when casting "that spell that makes every enemy fall unconscious", eh?
>>40384373He explicitly said there was only 6 of them, and he knocked every one of them out. Who's going to wake them up? The ghost of Christmas past?
>>40384362In Dungeon World, where combat is heavy on improv have you tried not playing D&D, a lot of it is done by presenting the player with a problem to solve, not just an abstract enemy shape to abstract-hit. >Can you go within the reach of his giant hammer to hit him with your puny sword? >The three goblins are trying to encircle you, what do? >She's interposing her shield like a goddamn tortoise, how do you get around it? It's not going to be historically accurate, it's more like a choreographed movie fight, but you can make it a GOOD movie fight.
>worrying about your Fighter looking stupid when he calls out attack names>not playing a Kamen Rider whose ridiculous 15 pound belt buckle is the one calling out the attack names
DEMON FANG! DEMON FANG! DEMON FANG! DEMON FANG! DOUBLE DEMON FANG!
>>40364472I would love if my casters invoked like Lina Inverse.
>>40384442I cast the spell 1a115 and 3n2 with my double casting feat.
>>40384815I use Ultra Pédérastie Titan Power Hammer God Steel Smash Of Doom to finish one off.
>>40384847Crossbow! Use the hyper beam attack!
>>40384877I updated that to ULTRA beam when I picked up that set of masterwork bolts.
There's an irony here with OP renaming some attacks that ALREADY have cool names. Bull Rush? Total Defense? Great Cleave? Whirlwind Attack? He felt the need to rename them because they no longer sound cool TO HIM. Because those cool names have become stained by association with the terrible mechanical effects.
>>40380918>psionEnjoy being negated by a thin sheet of lead.>>40381158>what is CelerityA spell that makes you flip the table and get kicked out when I use the belt of battle and still cut your fucking head off anyway. Get. Fucked.>>40383703>being a rules lawyer>being THAT GUYI bet you think flavor text is official rules too.By the way, all you niggers are 100% fucked because I brought the tome of battle today. Enjoy getting double penetrated when I spam white raven tictacs every round.
>>40364453>My Stand, Invincible Raikreiger!
ITT:>anons don't understand humoradmittedly, it's not GREAT humor>strands of the usual martial vs caster debate>4e made everyone magic!"I hit you super hard 1/day" is not magic.
>>40385608Is the article humor or serious though?
>>40365577>doesn't recognize sarcasm>calls the author oblivious
>>40385710You read the actual article in the pics?Seems pretty serious to me.Robin D. Laws is an overrated hack.
>>40385762Come on. You don't think that>No matter how puny the effects they wield, those haughty wizards and self-righteous clerics carry on as if their supernatural summonings were the be-all and end-all of dungeon-delving and foe-smiting. Uncompromising wrath? Of Color Spray? Hogwash! Or >use babelfishAre at least a bit tongue-in-cheek? Plus it's Paizo-era Dragon Magazine, it's not like it's a peer-reviewed scholarly journal about RPGs.
>>40385684The only thing I know Robin Laws from is a GM advice book. All the shit in there seemed really solid and it read like he knew what he was doing. This reads the exact opposite.Either Laws has absolutely lost his marbles, or this is a satire. It's obvious a lot of work went into this, not just writing but getting art assets and going through the trouble of publishing it, so I'm worried about it being the former. Also it lacks the "or we could just do this reasonable thing and avoid all the bullshit" ending A Modest Proposal had. At the same time, this is just so fucking insane I'm having trouble believing any person would legitimately feel this way and then put it into writing for the world to see.
>>40385814It's dragon mag. Art is a given, and lack of quality control too.
>>40385898Oh my bad I didn't know it was part of Paizo's line. Hell in that case it might have had a "fuck you if you think this is a good idea" ending that got cut.Sorry, I thought this was something self-published.
>>40385933Or maybe that's what Laws really thinks about 3.X fighters.
mages are pussies anyway. at the end of the day who does the bard sing about? the fucking fighter. Who gets the final hit that kills the BBEG? The fighter. Who keeps your bitch asses in line? The fighter. And who gets to wield the most powerful weapon in the fucking universe? You guessed it: The fighter.or in the case of the current game I'm in, the bard. Motherfucker drank some random ass wine he found on an altar and now he has the ability to turn things into gold just with a touch. we've already had to decurse him twice to stop it from happening on himself because he touches himself at night.
Really, we've heard the argument that giving fighters supernatural powers is too weaboo/anime for a sword and sorcery RPG, but it bears mention that even classic icons of martials in myth and legend had some pretty amazing feats of their own. Beowulf's famous battle against Grendel, King Arthur's OP as shit Excalibur (which, in some versions, could kill a man who even so much as saw the glint of the blade being released from its scabbard), Cu Cuchulain's whole schtick, even Samson from biblical mythology had some amazing shit.So fuck that "it's too weaboo" noise. I want to be able to play a dude who can cleave a man in two in naught-point-five femtoseconds in a single stroke. In a word where wizards can incinerate entire fields with a wave of his hand and clerics can rain down storms of divine retribution, is it really that far-fetched that fighting-men get so good at their art that they can go toe-to-toe with gods?
Too all you bitches who complain that magic is overpowered, just ask your DM to start enforcing material componets. That wizard cant do shit if he doesnt have the materials, right?Another good way to kill a wizard is to go full pillar pro. Find yourself a nice pillar, hide behind it and ready an action to cut his head off. If he throws a fireball around the corner and hits you kick the wizard from the game for metagaming - he couldn't see the fighter, how does he know he's there?
>>40386846Wizards aren't babies anon, they have object permanence.
>>40386846Oh come on, we got to "enforce material components" now?Is this satire, too?
>>40386973Well obviously in anon's game, they houseruled it so that repeatedly having their memories torn out of their heads to cast spells has given all wizards severe, permanent brain damage.
>>40364384They're not even fucking correct.'Ajustement'? 'Valor discrettionnaire?'Fucking Google Translate could do better than that.
>>40390967Old French that then went through a few Englishmen's mouths before being recorded, I would imagine. It's plausible that those really are the names of classic fencing moves.
>>40387493>Wizardfags getting blown the fuck out by RULES AS WRITTEN for spellcasting and material componetsL O L HAHAHA HOLY SHIT FUCKING MAXIMUM SALT
>>403917810/8 b8, but what the hey, there are people out there who will think this is legitimate and start parroting this garbage without realizing it's trolling.RAW, a spellcaster has everything they need in their Spell Components' Pouch. Unless the component has a given cost ("a black onyx worth X gp per HD," stuff like that), you are assumed to have it in your pouch.Assuming you weren't mentally deficient and the rules did require keeping track of the ounces of bat guano and pinches of sulfur you have on your person, that still doesn't "fix" wizards. It just changes the game from "Wizard and Co." to "Wizard and Co.: Adventures in Batshit Collecting."Lastly no amount of component enforcement, real or imagined, will do jack shit to bring down divine casters like clerics or druids, who bend the system over the table even harder that wizards and don't use spell components beyond the occasional diamond for resurrection and their holy symbol as a reusable implement.
>>40393256Well obviously the best way to balance classes is for the DM to act extremely hostile and petty to the casters. I mean, imagine if you took away all your casters' spells. They'd be just as boring to play as Fighters then!I mean the alternative would be giving fighters special abilities they could use, but we all know it's not True D&D unless at least half the table is absolutely bored to tears and wishes they were doing something else.
>>40393726If you buff fighters, you'll be a weaboo. Duh.
itt: pissy mages dont want to be on the same playing field as a fighter so they bitch and complain about everything.
>>40371209> Total Defense: "Fuck!">Dodge: “Fuck this Shit!">"Fuck your junk!">“Die, you fucker, die-e-e—e—e—ee!">"Shoot the fucker down!">"Fuck you, Fuck you, Fuck you and your hat, Fuck you all you fuckers!"There 100% perfection
>>40364020Is it bad that I like the Technical theme?
>>40363968>>40364384I can confirm what my colleague said, those names sound very ridiculous for a french speaker.I guess that now I understand how asians feel when they see a bad kung-fu movie from hollywood .It would be fun to play a french pit fighter in an english-speaking game. Using only insults and profanity, but all the nobles think it's exotic technical terms and flourish.>BORDEL DE MERDE ! SA MERE LA PUUUTE ! CREVE BATARD.>I say, what a delightful duel, my dear
>>40402077Actually speaking decent French might help, anon.
Having played Dominions I don't buy the argument that you need to make magic lame in order for fighters to be good. Dominions magic is ridiculously overpowered and yet well-armed fighting types can still carve through armies.D&D is just a shit system.