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/tg/ - Traditional Games


The township posts new deer crossing signs along your commute. Local news reports on bear rummaging through neighborhood trash cans. Buzzfeed shits out new listicle “20 reasons why Raccoons are dicks”. It’s a simple truth that as civilization expands, animals are forced to adapt to their new man-made environments.

The same holds true for vampires, ogres, fae, and all sorts of creatures that go bump in the night. Forced from their usual haunts, extranatural creatures have been forced to integrate with human society, completely transforming the criminal underground. Now Oni bounce for Yakuza, werewolves cruise down the I-95 strung out on meth, and men kiss Don Dracula’s ring. For decades criminal syndicates have waged a brutal shadow war for control of the streets, a war which daily threatens to spill over into the public eye. The stakes are more often than not surprisingly mundane, control of the local pot market or protection money for an area. But sometimes they are eldritch and beyond human understanding.

My name is Jason Reinhardt, and I’m an enforcer for Limited Liability, the last Human run syndicate. Here at LL, we just want to make a neat profit and retire young, no interest in bringing about the Apocalypse or ascending to godhood. It’s my job to serve as a personal retainer for my Lieutenant and facilitate her rise to power in the city of Saintsburgh. Armed with enchanted tattoos, runeforged weapons, and my mother’s knitting, I’m the guy who gives the nightmares nightmares.

EEQ Master Pastebin:
http://pastebin.com/6QexDk3H
>>
The jet of water turns cold very suddenly, eliciting an involuntary yelp of surprise as I jerk myself out from the spray and into wakefulness. Muttering my relief that I had already finished rinsing off, I exit the shower and towel off. It’s approximately nine in the morning, and beams of golden sunlight are shining through the bathroom windows, lighting up floating motes of dust and tendrils of steam. I walk up to the mirror, cupping my jaw and tilting it backwards and forwards, examining a short beard that I allowed over the course of my month long recovery.

LL doesn’t have a dress code per se, but there are standards that the Associates, especially ones like myself who hold higher rank in the syndicate, are held to. Generally speaking, higher ranked individuals are expected to dress in business casual when they aren’t expecting to do anything too exciting, to reinforce the pseudo corporate vibe. Somehow, I figure this scruffy beard might not meet the standard. Grimacing, I massage a shit load of shaving cream into my face, put on a fresh razor head and get to work.

As expected, it’s a massive pain in the ass. It’s less of that pro-glide sensation and more of that machete hacking through the underbrush sensation. Eventually, the beard is gone and I’m clean shaven again. As I clean the leftover foam from my jaw, I tilt slightly to get a better look at my new tattoo.
>>
>The Thunderhead: A tattoo of an eagle, wings spread and wreathed in lightning. The tattoo grants a passive 30% resistance to electricity, immunity to tasers, and can be activated to infuse melee attacks with electricity. Deals two points of electrical damage per expended AeP and allows for a special “taser” attack.
>>Tase (3 AeP): Jason must be grappling, grabbing, or otherwise touching a foe for an extended period of time a foe to execute this attack. He sends a series of electrical pulses through the target, which has the same effect as a taser, causing them to collapse and spasm. Not effective on larger creatures such as trolls or werewolf alphas, or enemies wearing thick clothing or armor.
>Wind Cloak: A tattoo of a vaguely anthropomorphic tornado. Grants a passive +1 bonus to Agility.
>>Wind Walk (3 AeP): Doubles Jason’s movement speed for the round, and triples his jumping distance. While in motion, enemy melee attacks take a -4 modifier to hit.
>Great White Terror: A tattoo depicting a shark breaching the ocean Jaws style. This tattoo grants a passive +1 bonus to Physique and increases momentum when rushing enemies. Grants the “Charge” attack.
>>Charge: Jason must be at least 15 feet away from his target to use this attack. He gains a x1.5 speed multiplier during this attack and will inflict x1.5 damage. Individuals lighter than him will be knocked out of the way during this attack.

>>><<<

Note, some tattoos have been reserved for usage at a later date. You will also be voting on a rune forging and knit wear later in the thread.
>>
>>40628650
>Wind Cloak: A tattoo of a vaguely anthropomorphic tornado. Grants a passive +1 bonus to Agility.
>>Wind Walk (3 AeP): Doubles Jason’s movement speed for the round, and triples his jumping distance. While in motion, enemy melee attacks take a -4 modifier to hit.
>>
>>40628650
>Great White Terror: A tattoo depicting a shark breaching the ocean Jaws style. This tattoo grants a passive +1 bonus to Physique and increases momentum when rushing enemies. Grants the “Charge” attack.
>>Charge: Jason must be at least 15 feet away from his target to use this attack. He gains a x1.5 speed multiplier during this attack and will inflict x1.5 damage. Individuals lighter than him will be knocked out of the way during this attack.
Charge attacks oh yissssss
>>
>>40628650
>The Thunderhead: A tattoo of an eagle, wings spread and wreathed in lightning. The tattoo grants a passive 30% resistance to electricity, immunity to tasers, and can be activated to infuse melee attacks with electricity. Deals two points of electrical damage per expended AeP and allows for a special “taser” attack.
>>Tase (3 AeP): Jason must be grappling, grabbing, or otherwise touching a foe for an extended period of time a foe to execute this attack. He sends a series of electrical pulses through the target, which has the same effect as a taser, causing them to collapse and spasm. Not effective on larger creatures such as trolls or werewolf alphas, or enemies wearing thick clothing or armor.
Welcome back!
>>
>>40628650
>Great White Terror: A tattoo depicting a shark breaching the ocean Jaws style. This tattoo grants a passive +1 bonus to Physique and increases momentum when rushing enemies. Grants the “Charge” attack.
>>Charge: Jason must be at least 15 feet away from his target to use this attack. He gains a x1.5 speed multiplier during this attack and will inflict x1.5 damage. Individuals lighter than him will be knocked out of the way during this attack.
>>
>>40628621
WOOO EEQ LOVE THAT YOU'RE BACK FALLGINO

SIIIICK
>>
>>40628650
>Wind Cloak: A tattoo of a vaguely anthropomorphic tornado. Grants a passive +1 bonus to Agility.
>>Wind Walk (3 AeP): Doubles Jason’s movement speed for the round, and triples his jumping distance. While in motion, enemy melee attacks take a -4 modifier to hit.
>>
>>40628650
>The Thunderhead: A tattoo of an eagle, wings spread and wreathed in lightning. The tattoo grants a passive 30% resistance to electricity, immunity to tasers, and can be activated to infuse melee attacks with electricity. Deals two points of electrical damage per expended AeP and allows for a special “taser” attack.

I'm about it.
>>
>>40628650
>>Great White Terror: A tattoo depicting a shark breaching the ocean Jaws style. This tattoo grants a passive +1 bonus to Physique and increases momentum when rushing enemies. Grants the “Charge” attack.
>>Wind Walk (3 AeP): Doubles Jason’s movement speed for the round, and triples his jumping distance. While in motion, enemy melee attacks take a -4 modifier to hit.
>>
>>40628650
>Wind Cloak: A tattoo of a vaguely anthropomorphic tornado. Grants a passive +1 bonus to Agility.

I'd wind cloak to make Jason more versatile
>>
Allow me to clarify the format of this, There are three tattoos available, of which you can choose one. Each tattoo unlock a special attack.\

Thunderhead => Tase

Wind Cloak => Wind Walk

Great White Terror => Charge
>>
>>40628950
We could be more versatile, or we could bum rush like a nutter and smash our enemies to pieces
>>
>>40628996
Well, you also have to consider the fact that increased mobility is quite important for melee characters as it allow them to reach their foes more easily, position themselves and fuck off when overwhelmed.
>>
>>40629067
Yeah, but, on the other hand, charges are really fucking cool.
>>
Also, just a reminder everyone! ALL of the tattoos , rune weapons, and knit wear we will have on offer today came DIRECTLY from player suggestions! If you've got a good tattoo idea or anything else, don't be shy to share it because there are ideas from every single pastebin I got that have made it into Jensen and Reinhardt's upgrade roster.
>>
>>40629067
Omg u r so tru
>>
Alright, tie between Great White Terror and Wind Cloak.

Calling a second vote between these two tattoos! Respond here!
>>
>>40629165
Wind Cloak
>>
>>40629165
Phasing!

>Wind walk
>>
>>40629165
Wind Cloak
>>
>>40629165
>Great White Terror
>>
>>40629165
Great White Terror
>>
>>40629165
Wind Cloak
>>
>>40628650
>Wind Cloak
We get a bigger bonus to rushing (without a minimum movement distance) and can still pack a punch with the baseball bat.
>>
>>40629165
>Great White Terror
>>
>>40629165
Wind Cloak
>>
>>40629165
Wind cloak
>>
>>40629165
>Wind walk
>>
To be fair, it’s less of a matter of tilting, and more a matter of pulling my calf up so I can look at the the vaguely anthropomorphized tornado tattooed onto the back of it. Uncle Frank and I had actually started preparing the special inks for it about four weeks ago, although the tattoo itself was only a few days old. Most of the work in runic tattoos comes from preparing the ingredients and planning out runes of power rather than the tattooing itself. Regardless, the new tat certainly works, enhancing my movement speed while also including a special “charged” mode, something I wasn’t capable of when I made my first tattoo.

Eventually I hop out of the bathroom and head back to my room, where I put on a nice suit. It’s not yet hot enough out that wearing a suit will give me heatstroke and besides, I think a bit of formality would be appropo for my first day back on the job after nearly a month of medical leave. LT did not want to take any chances with my ribs, and the obliteration of the TK15 expeditionary force into Saintsburgh had not only cowed the local dealers, but all of the petty criminals in our jurisdiction, leading to several weeks of relative peace and quiet. Apparently Brutus has been filling in for me, coordinating with EnRA agents to expunge the last traces of Pix from the streets.

I walk out into the kitchen, where Uncle Frank greets me over a mug of hot coffee with a neutral grunt. Unlike most people in his demographic, he likes to sleep in almost as much as I do.

“Nice threads.”

“Yeah,” I reply, pulling out some cereal. “First day back today.”

Frank snorts. “Figured you wanted to pretty yourself up for Vikkie?”

>”Yeah. But I dunno, maybe I should change into a sundress and a pink bow?”
>”Great, you and Ma on my case now.”
>”It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll send LT your love.”
>Sputter a bit
>ignore him
>Write in
>>
>>40629602
>”It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll send LT your love.” Shit eating grin mandatory.
>>
>>40629602
>>”Yeah. But I dunno, maybe I should change into a sundress and a pink bow?”
>”It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll send LT your love.”

Full cheek.

Good to have you back FallGino
>>
>>40629602
>”It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll send LT your love.”
>>
>>40629602
>”Yeah. But I dunno, maybe I should change into a sundress and a pink bow?”
>>
>>40629602
>>”Yeah. But I dunno, maybe I should change into a sundress and a pink bow?”
>>
>>40629602
>”It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll send LT your love.”
>>
>>40629602
You're slow to update Spirit-Senpai.
>>
I swallow the usual explosion of irritation that happens when the last generation tries to play matchmaker with me, and sneer at Uncle Frank. “It’s a little sad, you trying to live vicariously through me. I’ll be sure to send LT your love.”

The sneer becomes exponentially more genuine as I hear some sputtering from behind the news paper. “Or maybe I should change into a sundress and a pink bow?”

Uncle Frank tustles around a bit before lowering his newspaper. He didn’t quite get all the coffee, and a little drips from his chin. “The one with the sunflowers would be nice, I think.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” I grunt, scarfing down the cereal while taking care to avoid splashing anything on my nice suit. “I gotta hurry. LT was quite particular about when she wanted me to arrive.”

“Oh, anything interesting happening?”

“Probably, but I don’t know what it is.”

Frank grunts knowingly as I stand up, patting myself down for my wallet and phone. As I do he glances up at me over his toast. “Don’t forget your rune forging son.”

Right, my newly forged rune weapon. The other thing that consumed my time while on medical leave. Definitely shouldn’t forget:
>>
>Bunting [1 AeP]: Another rune etched into the bat, instead of multiplying the force of the swing to deal damage, it envelops the struck person/object in a kinetic envelope that flings them away from Jason, depending on the size/mass of what was hit (the smaller/lighter the target, the further they fly). Bunting attacks cost half stamina compared to a normal attack, and can be used to quickly drive back a swarm of enemies.

>Better Than a Soda Can (3 AeP): A tiny rune etched into the firing pin of the revolver that stamps said rune into the shell casing of a round being fired, does nothing unless activated by Jason. When activated, the run will absorb a large amount of the noise created from firing the gun for a single shot, reducing the noise level produced to just under a 9mm equipped with a proper suppressor. This effect stacks with use of an actual suppressor.

>Reverberating Strikes (1 AeP): Rune etched into the bat around the Force Rune that causes shockwaves to bounce around in things that have been struck by the bat, Inflicting a minus one modifier to acuity and agility for the next turn, and a one in six chance of stunning the enemy completely. If used simultaneously with the Force Rune, enemy takes a minus 2 modifier to Agility and Acuity, suffers 5 points of health damage upon the start of their next turn, and has a 1 in 3 chance of being stunned for their next turn.

>Ogre Time (Toggle Cost 4 AeP): Upon activation, Reinhardt's bat becomes as hard as steel and much heavier while also gaining slight Aether disruption properties. Damage scales by ¾ of Physique per swing instead of ½, guaranteed limb breakage on human sized enemies, and 50% penetration against magical shields. Attacks cost an additional action point, however.
>>
>>40630280
>Reverberating Strikes (1 AeP): Rune etched into the bat around the Force Rune that causes shockwaves to bounce around in things that have been struck by the bat, Inflicting a minus one modifier to acuity and agility for the next turn, and a one in six chance of stunning the enemy completely. If used simultaneously with the Force Rune, enemy takes a minus 2 modifier to Agility and Acuity, suffers 5 points of health damage upon the start of their next turn, and has a 1 in 3 chance of being stunned for their next turn.
>>
>>40630280
>>Reverberating Strikes (1 AeP): Rune etched into the bat around the Force Rune that causes shockwaves to bounce around in things that have been struck by the bat, Inflicting a minus one modifier to acuity and agility for the next turn, and a one in six chance of stunning the enemy completely. If used simultaneously with the Force Rune, enemy takes a minus 2 modifier to Agility and Acuity, suffers 5 points of health damage upon the start of their next turn, and has a 1 in 3 chance of being stunned for their next turn.
>>
>>40630280
>>Reverberating Strikes (1 AeP)
>>
>>40630280
>Ogre Time (Toggle Cost 4 AeP): Upon activation, Reinhardt's bat becomes as hard as steel and much heavier while also gaining slight Aether disruption properties. Damage scales by ¾ of Physique per swing instead of ½, guaranteed limb breakage on human sized enemies, and 50% penetration against magical shields. Attacks cost an additional action point, however.
It's clobbering time!
>>
>>40630280
>Better Than a Soda Can (3 AeP): A tiny rune etched into the firing pin of the revolver that stamps said rune into the shell casing of a round being fired, does nothing unless activated by Jason. When activated, the run will absorb a large amount of the noise created from firing the gun for a single shot, reducing the noise level produced to just under a 9mm equipped with a proper suppressor. This effect stacks with use of an actual suppressor.
This with subsonic ammunition and a silencer threaded onto something would be almost soundless. Very useful for the subtle approach.
>>
>>40630280
>Reverberating Strikes (1 AeP): Rune etched into the bat around the Force Rune that causes shockwaves to bounce around in things that have been struck by the bat, Inflicting a minus one modifier to acuity and agility for the next turn, and a one in six chance of stunning the enemy completely. If used simultaneously with the Force Rune, enemy takes a minus 2 modifier to Agility and Acuity, suffers 5 points of health damage upon the start of their next turn, and has a 1 in 3 chance of being stunned for their next turn.
>>
“Yeah, yeah, I won’t forget the bat.” I reply more than a little tiredly. Frankly, I almost always bring the damn thing with me wherever I go. I don’t see why Frank always bothers me about remembering it.

My bat is still mostly the same, except the force rune is now surrounded by a circular line of thin runes, which give the bat a sort of reverberating strike. Battlefield tests against nefarious water coolers proved promising. It’s a rare thing, to see something burst a few seconds after you strike it. Really nifty in fact.

“Oh, and before I forget, your mom said that UPS just dropped off a package for you. You should see what’s in there before you head out.”

I snort. “You still won’t open someone else’s mail?”

“Young man,” Frank replies, looking stern, “That is a federal offense.”

“After all the illegal shit you’ve done… alright fine.”

“And make sure you let me know if there’s brownie mix.”

Rolling my eyes, I head downstairs to find a package addressed to me in Ma’s looping handwriting. I pull it open, putting aside various baking mixes until I find a bit of knitwear tucked at the bottom.
>>
>A Wonderful Red Scarf [lovingly knitted item from ma, you should really call her some time and thank her for it]: A long red scarf knitted by Ma, it grants a 50% resistance to fire attacks and if raised over his mouth can filter out smoke. Plus, it kinda looks cool when the wind catches it just right.
>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
>Bat Doilie [Lovingly knitted by ma]: It has much the same effects as the Knit Sheath and Mittens Made With Love, except that it has a x4 damage multiplier against aetheric constructs and spells. The downside is that knitwear isn’t really meant to be wrapped around deadly blunt instruments, so it’ll only be good for ten uses, tops.
>>
>>40630840
>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
>>
>>40630840
derful Red Scarf [lovingly knitted item from ma, you should really call her some time and thank her for it]: A long red scarf knitted by Ma, it grants a 50% resistance to fire attacks and if raised over his mouth can filter out smoke. Plus, it kinda looks cool when the wind catches it just right.
Rule of cool
>>
>>40630840
>>A Wonderful Red Scarf [lovingly knitted item from ma, you should really call her some time and thank her for it]: A long red scarf knitted by Ma, it grants a 50% resistance to fire attacks and if raised over his mouth can filter out smoke. Plus, it kinda looks cool when the wind catches it just right.
>>
A Wonderful Red Scarf [lovingly knitted item from ma, you should really call her some time and thank her for it]: A long red scarf knitted by Ma, it grants a 50% resistance to fire attacks and if raised over his mouth can filter out smoke. Plus, it kinda looks cool when the wind catches it just right.

Its also adorable.
>>
>>40630840
>>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.

IAIIIIII!!!
>>
>>40630840
>>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
Bat dollie sounds cool, but destroying mom's gifts is not cool.
>>
>>40630840
>A Wonderful Red Scarf [lovingly knitted item from ma, you should really call her some time and thank her for it]: A long red scarf knitted by Ma, it grants a 50% resistance to fire attacks and if raised over his mouth can filter out smoke. Plus, it kinda looks cool when the wind catches it just right.
Calvin and Hobbes for life!
>>
>>40630840
>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
>>
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>>40630840
>>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
Bat doilie is the kind of upgrade that gets nerds shouted at in support forums.

Also, can this be Jason?
>>
>>40631183
No
>>
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>>40631183
In my head canon Jason looks like this.
>>
>>40630840
>Knit Sheath [lovingly knitted item from ma]: A sheath knitted by Ma for the bat, allows Jason to sling it over his bag for easy hands-free carrying of the bat. First attack after unsheathing grants the bat similar properties as the knit mittens, but with less potency, specifically a x2 modifier instead of a x4.
>>
>>40631183
Jason and Amber's appearance are whatever your heart desires anon.

I try to avoid describing my MCs too much so that players can impose whatever particular features they want onto them freely. I'd like to think it helps with immersion on some level.
>>
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>>40631276
Except unlike Danzig we can pull it off.
>>
I reach inside the package and pull out a lovingly knitted red scarf, the single shade of the neckwear enhanced by a complex pattern of knitting. I can just tell that Ma put some time into this. Despite the fact that it doesn’t really go with my suit, I wrap it around my neck proudly. A few seconds later I determine that the scarf is overkill and I’ll probably roast in my outfit and take it off, instead tossing it onto the passenger seat of my aging Beemer.

The drive is quick, and the gate guard is too pleased to see me back to hassle me about the fact I don’t know the current entry password. I eventually pull into my usual parking spot, and head towards the elevator. Waiting in front of the doors, I am… well surprised at least to see them open to reveal Gennings Golwynn, gnome and driver extraordinaire. The short man looks me up and down before saying “Trying to impress the Lieutenant?”

“Jesus fuck. You and Frank.”

“Hey man, no judgement. You slept your way to the top and that’s cool you know,” Gennings snickers. “We all gotta a do what we have to to get ahead.”

I decide to ignore him and step into the elevator. “Well, I’ve got an appointment with LT shortstuff. Later.”

The doors mercifully close before Gennings can retort. Calling him short usually throws him off of his game. Frankly, I don’t see why it bothers him so much, since he IS a gnome after all. Diminutive stature is to be expected.

I manage to reach the LT’s office without running into any more people. Not entirely surprising, since most people in LL tend to be either asleep or out and about at this hour. The security outside her office lets me in immediately.

I step inside to see a brand new mahogany wood desk and beautiful hardwood floors instead of the corpro-shit office carpeting. Clearly LT has been splurging. And knowing her that means we’re utterly flush with cash right now.
>>
>”So, how big’s my bonus gonna be?”
>”Nice digs boss.”
>”Morning LT, rare to call me up this early.”
>”Long time no see. No time to give your poor loyal retainer a visit during his brutal recuperation?”
>Write in
>>
>>40631526
>”Nice digs boss.”
>”So, how big’s my bonus gonna be?”
>>
>>40631526
>”Nice digs boss.”
>”So, how big’s my bonus gonna be?”
>>
>>40631537
>”Long time no see. No time to give your poor loyal retainer a visit during his brutal recuperation?”

Also, good to see you back, Gino.

I see you made use of my pastebins.
>>
>>40631537
>>”Nice digs boss.”
>>”Morning LT, rare to call me up this early.”
>>
>>40631537
>”Nice digs boss.”
>”Long time no see. No time to give your poor loyal retainer a visit during his brutal recuperation?”
>>
>>40631537
>>”Nice digs boss.”
>>”Morning LT, rare to call me up this early.”
>>
>>40631537
>”Morning LT, rare to call me up this early.”
>”Long time no see. No time to give your poor loyal retainer a visit during his brutal recuperation?”
>>
>>40631526
>”Nice digs boss.”
>”So, how big’s my bonus gonna be?
Glad to see you back UG.
>>
I lean back on my feet, glancing around the office. “Nice digs boss,” I drawl.

“Jesus Christ!” barks LT from behind her hugeass chair. I can hear something large and papery fall onto the ground. A few seconds of rustling later and the chair spins around, revealing my raven haired boss.

“How could you not be expecting me,” I ask, a little exasperated, “You literally told me when to come in.”

“Yeah well…” mutters LT, looking away to the side and cheeks flushed red, “I got used to most people making a lot more noise when they came into my office than you do.”

I grunt and take my usual seat, kicking my feet onto LT’s desk.

LT raises an eyebrow, “Seriously, this is hardwood, not particle board shit.”

Sighing, I lower my feet again. “Jesus Christ, ribs just healed and you’re already busting my balls? You want me back in the tender care of the Madame-Doctor?”

“Oh really,” replies LT smiling mischievously, “From what I heard, you wouldn’t mind that.”

My face settles into a bizarrely wistful grimace. “I was prepared to make the necessary sacrifices. Never thought I’d be so happy to have a cracked rib or two.”

LT chuckles before dropping the file in front of me. “Gorgorgux,” she states simply.

I squint at the abnormally thick file. “I thought he autocremated. Didn’t we have Gennings vacuum him up?”

“Yeah, he’s in that vase over there,” replies LT, sticking her thumb back at the sort of shitty clay flower pot a third grader would make. The plant inside clearly hasn’t been watered in months.

“That’s a little sick.”

“Yeah well, we’re looking for a replacement.”

“Oh shit. Ain’t that something.”

“Yeah, and I’ll need you to go off and meet up with the candidates.”
>>
>”What, we’re not taking them back here to be interviewed?”
>”What’s the line up?”
>”You gonna tag along or something?”
>”I can take a buddy right?” [Name a buddy.]
>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”
>”I’m not going to negotiate salaries or some shit, right? I’m more than a little dogshit at that.”
>write in
>>
>>40632226
>”What’s the line up?”
>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”

...

>”I’m not going to negotiate salaries or some shit, right? I’m more than a little dogshit at that.”
>>
>>40632197
>”What’s the line up?”
>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”

...

>”I’m not going to negotiate salaries or some shit, right? I’m more than a little dogshit at that.”
>>
>>40632226
>”What’s the line up?”
>”You gonna tag along or something?”
>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”
>”I’m not going to negotiate salaries or some shit, right? I’m more than a little dogshit at that.”
>>
>>40632226
>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”
>>
>>40632226

>>”What’s the line up?”
>>”I can take a buddy right?” [Gennings]
>>”Anything in particular we’re looking for in the recruit?”
>>”I’m not going to negotiate salaries or some shit, right? I’m more than a little dogshit at that.”
>>
>>40632226
>>40632347
This and also
>"We really need to catch up over drinks later, put this hardwood to the test and see if it scuffs and needs coasters."
>>
>>40632398
I'll back this
>>
>>40632226
>>40632398
seconding
>>
>>40632226
>>40632398
Sure let's say this.
>>
“Alright,” I reply, opening up the expansive file, before immediately giving up and putting it back down. “What’s the Lineup here?”

LT rolls her eyes. “Well, we have some sort of pompadoured punk rocky character, some sort of geo/pyrothurge. Goes by the name of Molten Bolten. From what I can gather about him, he’s one of the best unregistered combat mages in the region, but fairly useless at utility work.

“Then we have Hardek Thorgar,” LT says, brandishing a picture of a typical dwarven male. “A dwarf, obviously, and an aerothruge of some power.”

“A dwarven aerothurge?”

“Yes.”

“Must’ve gotten beat up a lot as a kid.”

“Most likely. Pretty much the opposite of Bolten. Magic’s borderline useless in combat, but apparently he’s a good hand at more utility work. Summonings, tracking spells, invisibility, that sort of thing.”

“And, finally,” she says, yanking out the last parcel of paper, “We’ve got some weird elf chick. Some sort of druid or something? We weren’t able to get too much information on her, but apparently she’s the only other independent practitioner of note.”

I pick up the picture and stare at it dully. Yeah, of course it’s her. That one knife ears I ran into in the first thread. Obviously the QM was too lazy to come up with a third original mage.

Meta discussion aside, I toss the picture back at LT. “So, anything we’re looking for in these candidates?”
>>
“Well, battle prowess would be nice, but I think that people don’t have a full appreciation for what a mage focused on utility work can bring to the table. All sorts of subtle edges that don’t tip our hand. Frankly, I just want someone who is stable and will be able to work with us. Mages are trouble already, so I don’t want to deal with extra nonsense. I mean, they’re mages, eccentricity is a given, but make sure we’re not taking a confirmed basket case on board.”

I nod once. “Alright. I’m not negotiating salaries right? You know I’m terrible at that.”

LT shakes her head. “No, not at all. This is more or less a final vetting process. Everything else has already been worked out.”

“Awesome. I suppose I’ll be back later.”

“Do please try.”

I take my leave of LT, walking out of her office and back towards the garage and my POS Beemer.

>Visit Molten Bolten first
>Visit Hardek Throgar
>Visit Essylt Canonach
>Write in
>>
>>40633102
>Visit Hardek Throgar
>>
>>40633102
>>Visit Hardek Throgar
I think the utility would be really nice, considering Jason is already a combat-focused character.
>>
>>40633102
>>Visit Hardek Throgar
>>
>>40633102
>Visit Essylt Canonach
>>
>>40633102
>>Visit Hardek Throgar

Oi we voted for saying we'll catch up over drinks later.
>>
>>40633102
>Visit Hardek Throgar
>>
>>40633231
Calm your tits he saw it, he'll work it in when its more natural.

Or not at all.
>>
>>40633231
Yep, kind of annoying how UG just ignored that and the other dialogue about her not visiting us.

>>40633274
Evidently he didn't see it.
>>
>>40633274
Doesn't seem like he saw it at all
>>
>>40633295
>>40633281
Sorry friends, I was writing by the time the last few suggestions came in.
>>
>>40633325
There was a good half hour between the last vote and your update, you might want to check your thread more often and tell us when you close voting though that shouldn't have affected it as they were all within 15 minutes.
>>
>>40633102
>>Visit Hardek Throgar
UG, you should tell us when you start writing, so we can stop voting.
>>
I hammer in Hardek’s address, and drive off. As I do, I do something that no one should do, I pull my phone out and call the dwarf, typing in his number and all. The phone rings twice before he answers it.

“Hullo?”

“Hey Hardek. This is Enforcer Reinhardt, with Limited Liability. I’m just letting you know that I’m swinging by for your final evaluation.”

“Eh? Yer tellin’ me one of you Limtahd Liahbility folks ‘re comin’ up tah see meh?”

“I’ll assume that the answer to that is yes.”

“Dammit mahn, I’ve gottah clean mah place oup!”

“Y-you too.”

The line goes dead suddenly. Squinting at my phone suspiciously, I put it back down and spend the rest of the drive focusing on the road ahead like any good street smart driver should.

Hardek’s place looks like your average row home, albiet not totally shittrashed and with a damn sight fewer dessicated bicycles lying on the front lawn. Taking this a generally good sign, I march up to the front door and hammer on it with a closed fist. A few seconds later a petite dwarven matron opens the door.

“Hey, is Hardek around?”

The matron squints at you suspiciously. “Oh, Hardek? You’re not one of those figurine salesmen are you? I’ve told him no more of that nonsense.”

Figurine salesmen…? “No ma’am,” I reply, covering my confusion with a forced smile. “I’m here about the job.”
>>
“A… job?”

“Yeah, Hardek’s in our last round of interviews.”

Mrs. Thorgar’s demeanour changes immediately, and she tugs me into her house, beaming unctuously. “Why a job why didn’t you say so? Please come in, come in. Hardek will be down in just a moment.”

I watch the matron bustle off, before starting in my seat in the living room as she bellows upstairs, “HARDEK! Get your worthless carcass down here!”

The matron peeks around the corner, smiling almost maniacally. “Please, wait just a moment. He’ll be down in a second.”

Blinking slowly, I wait silently until I hear heavy footsteps. Suddenly a dwarf with shockingly poor skin rounds the corner, panting slightly. He’s wearing a wrinkled button down that does little to conceal an impressive gut. I stand up and extend my hand. “Hardek Thorgar. I’m Enforcer Reinhardt, from Limited Liability.”

Hardek wipes his hand on the back of his pants before shaking mine.

“Nice tah meetcho.”

It’s still greasy.

We both sit down, Hardek squirming uncomfortably in front of me while I glance around for some tissues or something. Maybe I could feign a sneeze or something…

Eventually I give up and return my focus to the aerothurge sitting in front of me.

>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>”So, what do you know about LL?”
>”So… Let’s put this lightly… do you have strict moral compunctions?”
>”Figurines?”
>Write in
>>
>>40633809
>”Figurines?”
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>>
>>40633809
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>>
>>40633809
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>”So, what do you know about LL?”
>Figurines?
>>
>>40633809
>>”Figurines?”
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
Bet he's a fucken weeabo.
>>
>>40633809
>”So… Let’s put this lightly… do you have strict moral compunctions?”

>>40633868
pls don't bully the NEET dwarf
>>
>>40633809
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>”So, what do you know about LL?”
>>
>>40633809
>”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”
>”Figurines?”
>>
”So a dwarven aerothurge. Certainly bucking expectations. What can you do?”

“Well… I ah,” Hardek pauses while he flips through what are evidently index cards. “I am ah cahpable rituahlist, I can do ah range summonin’s includin’ demons, fae, some lessa elementals, an’... an’ other assorted spirits. I’m also ah good hand at tracking spells, wards, an’ some enchantings.”

“Good good. How about more immediate invocations?”

Hardek shifts uncomfortably. He smells vaguely of cheese. “Nae so good. I can move fast, soar, and jump extremely high. But combat… nae so much… A big gust ta maybe toss ah man around, that’s all.”

I nod. This isn’t really a big deal. What with the advent of high explosives there wasn’t much in the combat arena that a mundane couldn’t match. But a good utility mage…

“So, I feel like I have a rough understanding of what we’re getting here Hardek, but what do you know about LL?”

“Well, uh, you’re the human crime syndicate…”

I raise an eyebrow.

“Nae that that’s a bad thing, oh course,” Hardek clarifies hastily. “Certainly better than tryin’ to find work as an aerothurge in ah mine or among the cartels.”

I nod sympathetically. “I’d imagine that it isn’t conducive to your particular flavor of magic. So, do you think you could feel comfortable working in LL? We do engage in illegal activities frequently, and you will be expected to play a key role in some of them.”

Hardek glances around before leaning in conspiratorially. “Frankly, I’d take anythin’ to get out from me Mam’s thumb. I mean, if I go to prison, I’m basically guaranteed ah few years away from her, so it’s a win-win.”
>>
I grunt, not entirely unappreciative of the logic. “So, I guess this is more curiosity more so than anything else, but figurines?”

Hardek freezes, blood rapidly draining from his face. “Where… where’dya hear that?”

“Oh, Mrs. Thorgar mentioned it in passing. Just thought I’d ask.”

“They… they’re like action figures… collectible statuettes of characters… from… shows.”

I squint at him momentarily, wondering why he was being so cagey about a simple question. “Uh, okay then. Thanks for telling me?”

“Nae ah problem.”

“What kind of shows?”

“... Anime…” Hardek mutters softly.

“Anime? Like Yu-Gi-Oh?”

“If you want plebeshit for literal children, sure,” Hardek covers his mouth, looking mortified befoer the words finish coming out.

“Uh… okay.”

There is a long and awkward pause. “Well Mr. Thorgar,” I say, standing up. “I think I might have to go soon. You’re the first of several candidates were interviewing, and I need to get cracking. I’ll call you with our final decision.”

And with that I take my leave.

>><<

Sleepy. Go bed now. Thread later this week, check twitter.
>>
>>40634646
Thanks for the thread SG/FG/MG/UG. Good to have you back buddy.
>>
>>40634646
So we're hiring the weeb, right?
>>
Thanks for running though unclegino!
>>
>>40634707
at the very least we'll have him 'consult' on a limited basis yeah, a good utility mage is a must have
>>
>>40634646
>not hiding your powerlevel

SHAMEFUR.
>>
>>40634646
Thanks for the run boss
>>
I wonder which animays Spirit Dwarf watches.
>>
>>40635062
Magic girls type shit I'm sure.
>>
>>40634707
I definitely like him a lot. His skill set is a good foil to Jason.
>>
>>40635062
probably some kind of reverse Gate! where dwarves invade japan and are totally better at everything and all get harems
>>
>>40635062
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6AguK3jiTT8
https://youtu.be/ws_fkRgQv0k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j5npIyCcv8k
https://youtu.be/kNHzVu-OPWA
https://youtu.be/z3DtDuRKuk8

His waifu is Rider.
>>
>>40634646
>>40634707
From what I can see....yes. Weeb is better than sociopath, and while more difficult to break into the whole LL business, has much less risk of going crazy on casualties and such. I don't expect to depend on him for stressful situations anytime soon, though.

and shit man, ricochet flashbangs, and directed tear gas/chaff? This is gonna be great.



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