Sit, dear listeners, and I shall tell you the tale of the Apprentice, while I am still able.It is a story of friendship gained, of the confusing thunderstorm of the heart, and the terror that bides at the fringes of the world.I have found myself ensnared in the machinations of a witch's coven, and for this my friends may die.
"Hold," Elin calls, and I watch her raise her wand as if in a dream, languidly, submerged-
- and as I turn toward Cord's frightened gasp, I find Calus held as though he has been stuffed and mounted, his hand-cannon raised uselessly in his unmoving grip!
"You cannot hope to best us all," cries Ula as she raises the staff of the Goddess to ward off Elin's curses. "Even with your power and the sisters, you will fall! Leave us, carry on your conquest in our stead!"
"I do not need to heed the words of a treasonous strumpet," Elin sneers, and as her wand again glides through the air, I feel a sickening chill. "And as for you, you know see..."
"... the wand of Juliana was truly hers, and not the wand of a nameless waif birthed in a shreep pen!"I turn, reeling, my gaze faltering as my mind struggles with the sight before me, and Elin's mocking laughter is all I perceive!"Are you surprised? This is the land beyond, and you will find your friends offer no succor in this place."
"And now, your soul will be obliterated, and your friends will fall."A shade drops from above me, and I see a pair of smoldering eyes, and a battered shield of the same ancient order under whose banner Sir Percy rides!"Die now, and oppose me no m-"
The demon knight descends upon me, and I topple backward, helpless to stop his jagged sword's swift arc, when suddenly-CLANG!"-What?!" Elin shrieks, enraged, as her minion's blade strikes off of the black longsword!
"You have an awakened!" she exclaims. "How charming! But even he cannot protect you here!"Equipment check:* One muck-encrusted pitchfork* One blade supposedly forged by blind cultists of ZaldimarRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! And roll another d12 for whatever Bob does! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 3, 9 = 12 (2d12)>>40850227>Us: Gather energy and wait to attack the wand>Bob: Surprise sorceress by pulling off our right arm and swinging it with sword-in-hand at her
The skeleton I raised from a motionless skull has never been anything but helpful and trustworthy, and he displays now a proficiency with the black longsword that I could have never imagined, parrying the demon's storm of furious attacks, but so close does it strike that its foul form knocks into my own, and so weakened by it am I that I am sent reeling from my feet!
"DIE," it rasps, and raises its sword for a deadly strike...
... but Bob surprises him, forgoing the black longsword to deliver a punch to the demon's helm that drives it back dazedly with a sharp cry of rage!And with the demon momentarily withdrawn...
Rolled 7 (1d12)... Bob whirls around, pirouetting on the toe of his boot, and tears his sword-arm from its socket!"Wha-" Elin exclaims, caught off-guard by his action!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever Bob does, please!
This is the most autistic thing I have ever seen
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>40850699>Coil your arm like a snake, leap towards the sorceress, and lash out.
>>40850764RIP in pieces Bob
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>40850699Dance of (un)death!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40850699Stab Elin in the face
Bob swings his severed arm inward and draws it back to strike, but as he lunges forth, the demon rasps "NO," and blocks the black longsword with a palpable resounding!
"YOU ARE WEAK," it rumbles, pressing its foot down on the black longsword, "AND YOUR TRINKET IS MINE."
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40851076RAKE him!
Rolled 3 (1d12)"Kill them! Kill them both!" cries Elin.Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you or Bob do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40851127Use your severed (but still functional) arm to distract the demon . Then kick his head off!
"WHAT IS THIS FOOLISHNESS?" the demon demands, as it feels Bob's bony fingers compress against its boot. "A USELESS GESTURE, FOR YOU WILL-"
Roll a d12 and link to this post, please!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40851552Get a leg up!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>40851552
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40851552
Bob's leap is true and perfectly judged, and he lands atop the demon's very shield to knock its foul head off, when it strikes, faster than my gaze can see-
- and knocks him into the air, tearing his leg from hip with the tremendous force!
Question, is the sorceress' wand made out of glass, or crystal?
A cry escapes my lips as he is battered to the far corner of this haunted courtyard...
...and a shudder trembles its course through my body as the eyes of both Elin and her demon fall upon me!The demon charges at me, as Elin cries "Kill her! Soul-death!"
Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>40851992
>>40851992Attack her wand with the pitchfork!
>>40851844>Question, is the sorceress' wand made out of glass, or crystal?You don't know!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>40852007Shit
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40851992Stick the pitchfork into the demon's face to where it can't get at you with it's sword.
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>40851992Throw the pitchfork into Elin's chest!"Well, that escalated quickly."
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>40851992Use the pitchfork to knock the wand out of her hand.
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40851992>Go grab the staff that Ula's holding.
"Aah! You little brat-" Elin gasps as I swing my pitchfork at her, narrowly missing raking her face! The motion sets me off-balance, and as I regain my footing...
Rolled 6 (1d12)... the demon is upon me!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>40852197
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>40852197Stab it in the eyes with the pitchfork.
In desperation, I jab my pitchfork outward, catching the grill of the demon's helm despite its sword entangling between its tines!A bellow of rage gushes from its foul mouth as its immense weight impends above me, supported only by my pitchfork's shaft!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>40852433Use leverage to rip the sword from his grasp!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40852433Swing him in to Elin!
The demon is at once weightless and ponderous, and it grasps the pitchfork to use as a vaulting-pole in midair, throwing me with it!
The landing drives all air from my body, drawing a mute cry of pain, for I lack even the breath to enunciate my anguish!As I gasp at last, lungs burning, the demon utters a noise that at first I cannot comprehend...
... laughter."I KNOW THE DEMON WHOSE MARK IS UPON THIS. IT IS A WEAKLING. AS ARE YOU."
"I WILL KILL YOU WITH YOUR OWN WEAPON."
>>40852702Weapon, kill him before he gets the chance!
Rolled 4 (1d12)"I WILL DRINK YOUR SOUL!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40852735The pitchfork gains sentience and kills him.
>>40852735Pitchfork, fight back! I will it!
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>40852783Forgot my rollll!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40852735sidestep last minute
"WHA-?" utters the demon in surprise as my pitchfork flings itself away, nearly to the edge of its grasp!
And as the demon stumbles backward, caught unbalanced-
- I step aside and let Bob finish the task!
"NOOOO!" the demon bellows, as it bursts aflame with gouts which quickly consume it!
In a moment it is gone, nothing remaining save for its helm, and the black longsword, but as I stoop to reclaim it Elin's words give me pause!
"You may have defeated the demon, but without the wand of Juliana you lack the ability to return to the world above. I will leave you now, vexatious brat, in this place, where you will dwell until you are forgotten!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>40853149Quickly grab her!
"No!" Elin screams, as I leap through the air toward her!
"Aah! Get off me, you lowborn infant!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>40853334Wrestle the wand out of herd hands
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>40853334seduce her!
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>40853334Yank on her hair and call her names.
"I said get off!" Elin rages, and swings her wand like a club, battering me away!
"No!" I draw myself from the desolate ground...
... but it is already too late, for Elin has returned to the world of the living.
Oh boy, that was a ton of fun! Poor Bob, I think he got the worst of it! I hope everyone else enjoyed this as much as I did.I don't have much to do this weekend, so the Apprentice's story will continue, either in this thread or a new one! Until then, most previous episodes are archived on suptg:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=lego%20questThe official Lego Quest wiki has plenty of info on the Apprentice and her friends:http://legoquest.wikia.com/wiki/Lego_Quest_WikiAnd if you follow me on Twitter, you'll get a tweet when this episode resumes or a new episode begins:@EndmanOfFuturonI'll be back in about 10-12 hours, so stay loose and hang tight!
>>40853583Thanks, it was fun
>>40853583>Poor Bob, I think he got the worst of it! We can repair him!Thanks for the quest!
The LEGO channel always has the best original programming.>Breaking Brick/The Bricking Dead when?
>>40858309You saw the latest episode of Game of Electroswords, right?
>>40859087>Lego Game of Thrones: The VideogameI want to see them take the piss out of the setting like they do in the other Lego Movie games.
I just realized I put "Episode 11" in the Subject field, even though I named the image folder Episode 12. Whoops! I'm just heating up some food and then we can start playing again. In the meantime, have a pretentious foreign art film I made based on a /toy/ meme.
>>40859332>>40859087http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/38998935/This was a ton of fun to run.
>>40859375Sten a true warrior of the seven kingdoms.
>>40859334>based on a /toy/ memeThat's a forced meme, don't encourage it.
>>40859334I'm afraid I don't get it
>>40861894"No Klocki" basically means "that feel when not enough Lego pieces"
>>40851808Sage for not contributing but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET THAT SHOT?
>>40862152He's not actually airborne, that's just what's happening in my imagination.Should be ready to start back up in about ten minutes!
>>40862152Cleverly placed supports.
My eyes burn, and above all else I wish for the simple release of weeping.But in the land of the dead, no tears may flow.
My shade - or perhaps I am the shade - stands innocently, the same pose which I held the instant in which Elin dragged me to this awful realm, with James behind her, and I am struck in wonderment at seeing myself, as a statue.Oh, James! I had not even noticed his protective form step to my side, but how loyal! How brave!
"James," I whisper, and move to stroke his cheek longingly, but his face is like ice, and the burning cold of his unyielding visage forces my hand away with a gasp of pain!
This separation becomes too much, and as I collapse at the feet of my unmoving twin, I find that tears may flow even in this place.
"Do not weep, child," says a voice at my back, and a hand presses against my shoulder, weighty but unchilling...
"Bob? You can talk?" I blurt out, dumbly."In this place I can do many things which are barred to me in the world above," he says. "Now come, mourn no more for your lot, for the demon knight did not drink your soul."
"Am... am I... dead? Who is that?" My mind reels with the incomprehensible surroundings with which I now face. "Where are the gods of old? Where are the red-hooded children?""It is difficult to explain to one as unaccustomed as you, but this place sits beyond time. There are no moments for them anymore.""But what will become of them? What will become of me?""Eventually you will forget them, and they will be gone from this place. They are only echoes, casts which will soon vanish as sand in the wind."
"Vanish?" I cry, "That cannot be! I need to rejoin them before they- before I...""I do not have the power for sch a thing," Bob replies, a hint of mirth in his voice, "though perhaps-"
"-wait. Something approaches."----Equipment check:* One muck-encrusted pitchfork, enchanted and bound to you* One knife, possibly forged by blind cultists of the god Zaldimar* One black longsword, legendary, no discernible magical effectsRoll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40862998See what approaches.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>40862998Make a new friend?
"This way. We are very close.""You had better be right.""I can feel it. There were witches involved.""Witches! Ha!"
"When was the last time we found one of those?"
"What did I tell you? There's the helm of Dazirx, that'll fetch a pretty pile, and over there's a- eh?"
"A nameless! And she's whole!""It looks as though I doubted wrongly," the other chuckles maliciously. "The Lords of the City will pay a fine price for her!"
"Get them!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! And roll another d12 for whatever Bob does! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 9, 4 = 13 (2d12)>>40863796We disarm one, Bob disarms the other.
Rolled 2, 11 = 13 (2d12)>>40863796Apprentice: disarm with pitchforkBob: swordwork!
Rolled 6, 10 = 16 (2d12)>>40863796Don't double-die
Hungrily, greedily, they charge, and expecting easy prey, the one is surprised by my act, as surprised as I myself, for it was not long ago I was a mere shreep-tender, but now under the tutelage of masters, I fight with competence!"Ha!" I cry, unable to resist the gloat in the face of the bizarre creatures' taunts, and his spear is torn from his grasp, flung overhead far beyond his reach!
"This one's quick, but I'll take his head as a trophy," the other laughs, and though Bob's swift blade moves to thwart each stab, his advantage begins to falter, and he is driven backward toward the wall, when suddenly-
"You'll do no such thing," Bob states flatly, as the black longsword slices cleanly through the monstrosity's midsection, severing it in two!
"What were you saying about taking trophies?""No! Don't hurt me!" shrieks the stump, as I back his vicious and declawed accomplice into a corner.Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>40864425Interrogate them!
"Aaah! We know nothing!" cries the one, as the tines of my pitchfork waver in front of his face. "We were drawn here to see what leavings awaited us, and found you!"
"It is true! We are but collectors! We meant you no harm!" bawls the delimbed second as he bends and twines on the ground beneath the deadly tip of the black longsword.
"Scavengers," Bob says, turning to set his vacant gaze on me. "from the City of Twilight.""What is that?" I ask, but he shakes his helmed skull. "It is no place for you. It is a place where wicked spirits gather."What will you do now?
>>40864873Ask the scavengers if they know a way out or someone who would know a way out.
"A way out of the land beyond? Yes, yes! The Lords of the City would know a way!"
"Yes! The Lords of the City would know," the other agrees. "They traffic with the world above, everyone knows that! We will lead you there!""Yes, we will lead you there!" the one on the ground exclaims.
>>40865177Off we go!
"Lead us into a trap, more likely. These beings are not to be trusted."
"In time you will forget about your friends. It is for the best," Bob says. "Do not wager your soul."What will you do now?
>>40865309Wager! That! Soul!
"You will lead us to the City of Twilight, and take us to the Lords of the City.""Yes, yes!" he agrees, as I raise my pitchfork upright."And you will keep us safe.""Yes! You will be very safe!"
"Release him," I say to Bob."Is that your command?""Yes."
"That is my command."Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>40865783Get them to take us to the City of Twilight.
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>40865783
Shock overtakes me as I step through the archway, for beyond is nothing but an endless void!'"How can this be," I cry. "The city of Eastpass spread out far beyond this!""You did not pay close enough attention to the streets," Bob says without emotion. "You do not remember the city, and so it no longer exists."
"But what of James? And Jenny - and the others? Are they-""They will remain, for now. Eventually you will forget them, and your link to the world above will be gone.""Then we must hurry!" I exclaim.
"All things are eventually forgotten," Bob says as he passes, following the truncated creature which dashes ahead to rejoin its bizarre companion.
"Someday you will know this."
And so we walk, under the vacant white sky. For hours, it seems, we plod across the unyielding ground."Why can we not fly?" I ask, grown quarrelsome from the strain and this nightmarish emptiness. "The spirits are said to be able to flit about!""Some things may fly," Bob agrees. "But we walked in life, and so we walk in this place."
Vacant, I say, but that is not true, for there is one constant in the sky above, a black speck that hangs motionless far above us. Is it the sun? Is it the shadow of the sun, perhaps, or the eye of some horrid behemoth, watching us from high?
"How close is the city?" Bob demands of the pair."Very close!" the shorter answers, quickly. "Very close!"
"WHO DARES TRESPASS IN MY KINGDOM?"Though the flat plane offers no shelter or concealment, a being nevertheless appears before us somehow, a boar which stands as a man, and draws back a weighty and fierce-looking bow! Within his mouth yawns a gaping emptiness, a black hole as deep as any cavern!
"It is him! Run!""Flee! Aaah!"The pair break and run from us, as Bob freezes, daring not to raise the black longsword!"The Lord of Beasts! We have been led astray!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>40867005Convince him to help us escape! We are great at making friends!
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>40867005Explain our situation
(Sorry for all the delays, it's storming here and the power keeps going out!)
"Lord of Beasts, we did not mean to-" Bob begins...
... but the boar-god raises his great bow and interrupts! "I did not ask you to speak-"
"-nor did I invite you to my kingdom!"With that he lets loose, and a gout of liquid fire erupts from the bow, tossing Bob away in fragments!"No!" I scream, and turn to run to his aid...
... when iron fingers close around my wrists!
>>40867881Rolling to seduce whatever is grappling us, probably an elephant man of some sort.
"And as for you," he says, turning to me as he stows his enormous weapon...
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40867908Fuck
"A flower of the upper world will make a lovely bride for me!"
"Take her to my palace!"
(OK, I need to take a little break, but I'll be back in about 90 minutes and we can keep going! I have no idea where this is going, but I hope everyone's having fun!)
so much for 90 minutes...
"Well, my dear..."
"... I hope you are satisfied with your new home, for here you will dwell until the end of eternity!"
"But I don't want to live here! I have to get back to-""Silence! Soon we will be married, and you will be mine forever!" bellows the Lord of Beasts. "Ah, how long has it been since I have held a flower of the upper world?""I told you, I don't want to m-"
"Ah, your soul-fire burns so brightly!" the boar-god leers as he closes in upon me, hunger in his black eyes. "Soon others will see the shining beacon and come to claim you, but they will not have you! I will keep you for my own!"
"I cannot wait, I must have you now!" he shouts as he grasps at me with bloodstained hooves! I struggle to escape as he threatens above me, and as he draws me closer his breath is rank with the corpses of a thousand slain beasts!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 2 (1d12)>>40871958Kick him in the nards.
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40871958Sex him up like nobody's business
"EEEE-ya!" I scream, and fling myself at him, aiming my bare foot at that place where all men are weakest, but the boar-god snatches me up and lifts me into the air!"Ho-ho-ho - see how she fights?" he bellows. "Is the not the treasure of this land? All will envy me!"
Rolled 12 (1d12)>>40871958Make bacon.
"My lord, this is most inappropriate!" the snow-ape chides ineffectually as I am carried away as easily as a man carries a newborn babe. "The ancient laws say you must wait until you are mar-""SILENCE!" my wild suitor roars. "I am the lord of this land, and I will have my treasure, bridegroom or not!"
>>40872620Y'hear that? If we have sex with him, then he can't marry us!
"Wait," I say, softly, yet with conviction enough to turn the boar-god's eyes to mine, and cease my struggle.
"Unchain me, and I will show you all I have learned in the world of the living."
"UNCHAIN HER!" he declares, and at once the snow-ape scurries close."But my lord, what if she tries to escape?"
>>40872620>piggyfront rideLQ, I normally get a minor laugh from your image names, but this time you owe me a new monitor. D'you know how much it hurts when beer shoots out of your nose?
"SHE DOES NOT WANT TO ESCAPE!"
And so the Lord of Beasts, the great boar-god whose bow could slay any being, took me to his bedchamber.
>>40872522Are we talking literal bacon, or figurative bacon?
And though I had lain with Ula, the Lord of Beasts took me savagely, utterly, with that power which only a man may employ, but he was more than any man, a great force of old, and at the height of rapture I saw with the eyes of every living thing that the world above, for all of them were with us in our triumphant union.
>>40873534Whatever my 12 will do to get us out of this mess.
Rolled 11 (1d12)>>40873625Does seeing through beastly eyes give any control?Can we use beasts to track Elin?
A small bird, so insignificant it had gone unnoticed, had perched on a spire moments before Elin's arrival, and through its tiny eyes I saw that Bob had spoken truly...
... and that while days or weeks had passed here, not a moment had been lost in the world of the living, for Elin and the sisters were still where I had seen them!
"Behold, your new queen! Forever will she remain at my side!" roars the Lord of Beasts as he squeezes his massive arm around my waist, pulling me closer, while the thunderous cacophony of wildlife echoes through the palace halls!...roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>40874024Kill him and become Queen of the Beasts.
>>40874024Can I use my 12? >>40872522 to usurp the throne?
Queen of the beasts I may be, but such a title conveys none of the eases which the storybook tales Adan read to me as a child promised to all royals. My chains may be gone, but his brutish guards see all, hear all, offering no easy escape, and the thought of killing him and taking his stewardship for my own begins to blossom.Such a task seems beyond me, though, for the boar-god guards his mighty bow jealously, and though my nights are spent being ravaged again and again, my days are filled with the ennui of a caged bird, and hopelessness begins to overtake my thoughts!
Then, all at once, the wind of fortune shifts, for strangers appear at the grand arch of the boar-god's throneroom, and a guard trumpets a proclamation -
"PRESENTING, THE GREAT DEMON-GOD TALIX-URAN!""Great Lord of Beasts," the demon-god hisses, flicking his eyes across my form. "Long has it been since we have shared company!"The foul voice tears at my soul, but then the demon-god shifts and I see again the figure I had first spied in the entranceway, and my heart leaps in my breast...
... for immediately do I recognize the headless body of my loyal retainer Bob!
"This is your lovely bride," hisses the demon-god lecherously, and I am quick to resume my servile stature before their eyes, for none must realize the truth if I am to escape this lust-prison!"Yes, she is truly the jewel of the upper world, is she not?" rumbles the Lord of Beasts, appraising me before turning again to Talix-Uran.
"And what is this? You travel without your retinue?""Yes, I found this one wandering near a dream. Poor fellow, he was only too happy to find employment. Good with a sword, not too chatty!" the demon-god laughs, and as the two begin to speak at length I cannot help but cast another furtive glance at my abridged friend!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40875032Say he's a friend of yours from way back, ask if you can spend some time catching up on things. If further questioned, lie and say he is literate.Also, if we get the chance, ask the demon-god about how many souls he wants in return for him helping us escape.
"My lord," I say softly as I place one palm on the boar-god's bristly arm to gain his attention, "I know this skeleton. He-"At once I know that I have made a mistake, for the Lord of Beasts stiffens and veers in his throne to cast a critical stare upon Bob's body!
>>40875032Rolling to seduce the demon Lord. We might be able to make them fight each other.
"He knows you? Then he may be a spy, here to capture you for the lord of another realm!" ponders the boar-god as he holds his chin weightily. "I knew they would come! They are all jealous of my prize, are they not, Talix-Uran?"
"All would covet her, my lord, for her beauty truly is unmatched in this world or any other," agrees the demon-god, placing a clawed hand to his brow. "Of course, you may do as you wish to my servant. This I pledge, as a show of fealty in your home."
"Perhaps we should grind him to dust beneath the heels of a ponderope, or burn him within the fires of a dragon's breath, or feed him to the hounds which guard my cells, or even-"The boar-god speaks of atrocities unmatched, and I quake with sickly fear at the thought of Bob's demise in such cruel fashions, throwing a hand to my mouth to stifle a terrified gasp!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 4 (1d12)>>40875572I've had enough of this guy! Jam one of those arrows he has into his neck and make him squeal!
Rolled 8 (1d12)>>40875572Make a subtle pass at Talix-Uran to set the demon lord against the beast lord.(And steal both their power as they die killing one another)
>>40875595This. Make bacon
Rolled 5 (1d12)>>40875655Fucked up my roll again
Rolled 3 (1d12)>>40875572Find a way to distract everyone so we can steal the bow.
"No!" I shout, leaping at the boar-god's quiver! "You cannot!"Lulled by my weeks of debauched acquiescence, the Lord of Beasts is hesitant, but no sooner do my fingers begin to entwine around one of the deadly shafts-
- when the serpentine appendage of one of the palace guards wraps around my ankle, pulling me into the air!
"You dare to touch my weapons?" bellows the boar-god as the room sways chaotically beyond the curtain of my falling hair. "Have you no respect for your lord? Queen or not, take her to her room!""No, wait!" I plead, as the intractable tendril carries me aloft!Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40875898Use our inner magic to summon one of the arrows into our hand and stab the elephant!
Rolled 10 (1d12)>>40875898Summon the enchanted pitchfork and stab the elephantman in the eye!
Desperately, I reach inward and find the power within me, and tear from the boar-god's quiver an arrow which streaks through the air and embeds itself in the impenetrable hide of the hulking guard!A trumpet of pain blares forth as it collapses, dying from the poisoned weapon of its god...
... and through the dreamlike nature of this place, I need merely call out a longing, and within my hand impacts the heft of my muck-encrusted pitchfork!The bellowing of the dying guard cannot conceal the beast-god's enraged words as I turn-
- and thrust with all my might, launching myself in a perfect arc to land atop the brute's titanic chest!
Snorting and bellowing, the beast-guard thrashes, and so I raise my pitchfork one more time and drive it downward, aimed at the shining disk which glares up at me with hatred...
... until the tine of my pitchfork spears it, and the guard lets out one tremendous roar before shuddering and sagging to its final rest!
"GUARDS! BEASTS!" the boar-god rages. "SEIZE HER!"
Rolled 4 (1d12)"BRING HER TO ME!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! And roll another die for whatever Bob does! To roll, put dice+1d12 in the Options field!
Do we put the Boar-God's head on the end of our pitch-fork, or do we wear it on our head?
Rolled 7 (1d12)>>40876630Throw the pitch-fork at him then use the wand we've been hiding to zap him.
Rolled 4, 6 = 10 (2d12)>>40876630Throw the arrow from the dead guard to Bob and stab the nearest guard in the crotch with the pitchfork.Bob catches the arrow and holds Talix-Uran hostage with it.
With a shout of exertion I hurl my pitchfork at the Lord of Beasts, but he is too quick by far, and dodges as it clatters against the ancient worked stone of his great throne!
"There you are..."
"Thought you could sneak out and save your friend, did you? I should have left you in the Unheeded Plain!"
>>40876894What? I rolled a 7!
Rolled 2, 3 = 5 (2d12)"GET HER!"Roll a d12 and link to this post for whatever you do, please! And roll another d12 for whatever Bob does!
Rolled 1 (1d12)>>40876973Summon that pitchfork right the fuck back and murderize the elephants.
"I have her, my lord!" exclaims the snow-ape as his hands lock upon my arms!
Rolled 11, 12 = 23 (2d12)>>40876973>They have huge heads! Trip them and get them off balance somehow!>Try and block/deflect whatever's coming!>>40877034Relax, it doesn't count.
>>40877045Wait, you wouldn't take that 7 from back then, but you'll take this 1?
>>40877045Hmmmm, if we're in a dream world, then can't we dream our arms away?
Rolled 9 (1d12)>>40877045Seduce the yeti!
"And now to end this pitiful match, and destroy what is left of your guttering exis-"
"What?! No! It is impossible!"
"No weapon of the world above may break the trident of Talix-Uran! You dare not! I am the demon-god! I am- I am-"
A horrid scream resounds from somewhere nearby, and with that distraction I plant my feet and heave the snow-ape overhead!"Uwaah!"
"GET MY BRIDE!"
Rolled 6 (1d12)>>40877423Rolling to summon a war rig to escape on
The problem with toppling an elephant-headed guard is that they can use their trunks to easily get back up on their feet.
Holy catastrophe, that was one deadly encounter after another! I had no idea where this was going, but what a rush! Sorry for taking so long, between the power outages and having to build the beast-god's palace on the fly, the unexpected always adds a little extra build time!
>>40877423Yes! Now we just have to find Bob's head.Or get him a new one. His personality seems to be intact and all skulls look the same anyway.
>>40877462Will you forgive us if on the next quest we do nothing but make Mad Max jokes?
>>40877069Sorry anon, a straight roll-off is oftentimes not the determining factor, and a 7 isn't usually good enough for a dramatic success; I try to make sure every reply gets its moment!>>40877497You might be in for a treat.
>>40877502Sorry for being uppity.
Some Easter eggs, working from back to front...The Lord of Beasts is obviously the CMF Pig Guy, with the regular happy head swapped out for a black hole. I thought about using the trans-red head piece that's just a huge set of teeth, but I never got around to ordering one before this episode.The demon-god Talix-Uran is composed of several things. I forget if I posted him here before, but the body and cape are the Evil Wizard CMF, the head is a devil from the Monster Four board game, hat is the CMF Swimmer's cap, and the trident is made of the CMF Neptune's trident and a gold spyglass.
>>40873625Several familiar species could be seen when the Apprentice lies with the boar-god. I think one of the was last seen on an episode of HATS. A pair of sloons loom in the upper-left corner; they were last seen in Cabeza, just one of the many breeds of animal that may be found there.
>>40877591Can we name the runt "Wilbur"?
These two tall fellows have been sitting around since before the last episode of Apprentice Quest (which was apparently last August!) so I'm glad I got to use them. They were going to be a race in the mortal world, but I needed some bad guys for that encounter check so I threw some baskets and spears their way and made them spiritual roadside litter cleaners.
That's it for tonight - I hope everyone had fun, because I had a blast!If you want to read more, most previous episodes are archived on suptg:http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=lego%20questand the official Lego Quest wiki has all kinds of stuff about the Apprentice and her world:http://legoquest.wikia.com/wiki/Lego_Quest_WikiIf you follow me on Twitter, you'll get a tweet whenever a new episode goes live or resumes:@EndmanOfFuturonGoodnight, Legonauts!
>>40873625I just masturbated to Lego PnP smut. Is this really what my life has come to?
>>40877677Awww, they look kinda cute together
>>40877700None of it matters at the end of the day!
>>40877706Pretty much if you ignore her detached, expressionless gaze into the distance.
>>40877886That's what makes it real