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/tg/ - Traditional Games


You're Da Boss Zognik Da Githog, and oh boy are you angry at your Nob for not doing his job of keeping others in check.

“Oy you!”

“Boss.. Boss I'm sorry Boss-”

“Yo's a zogging git! How hard iz it to keep bunch a boyz in line!”

“B-Boss I'll make it up to ya!”

“Da one fing dat will need makin up is yer face after I'm dun' wiff it!”

You chase the nob around, it doesn't take that whole much to catch him as he quickly trips over a snotling, he's trying to scuttle away, but your mighty green hand grabs him by the collar, then you turn him around onto his back and soon after that. Your amazing Grot powered Basha swings from right to left, caving his jaw and cheek bone. In a grunt of pain, he tries to cover his head, but you really lack the self-control to stop beating him and instead, you start chipping at the arm bones, ever so ofter hearing a satisfying crunch of the bones cracking under your onslaught. The deserving Nob eventually lowers his guard and you promptly make an overhead swing, tilted to go from top right to bottom left, sending a lot of his teef flying to the side.

“I'z hope diz was a good lesson for ya and anyone else! If ya got complaints, go to the complaints department! Dats me Basha, by the way! Now stand up and go to da cave with sum grots! We found sum metal bits too! Go get 'em ya zogging git!”

He quickly listens to you and scuttles away, grabbing a few gretchin and going to where you have slain the giant snake, which is being ripped apart by your orks right now as you notice while grabbing the usable teeth and gaining a total of 18 teef.

>”Oy ya gits! Diz snek iz mine!” (Take some parts of the snake for yourself)
>Ignore it, go to your hut, it was a REALLY long day (Skip to another day, refresh your BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
>Ignore it, go to your hut, see how Woodbrain is doing (Gain bit of training in mekboy specialization WARNING: Once you decide what 'class' you pick, you can never go back!)
>Something else? (write-in)
>>
>>40965693
>”Oy ya gits! Diz snek iz mine!” (Take some parts of the snake for yourself)
Skull, and enough scaly bitz to add onto our armour so we can be more flash.
>>
>>40965693
>”Oy ya gits! Diz snek iz mine!” (Take some parts of the snake for yourself)
Time too get our boss pole
>>
Writing.
>>
“Oy ya gits! Diz snek iz mine!” You yell out going back to the carcass. Everyone steps aside and let you approach what is still salvageable and possible to be taken. For crafting or the 'bling' you deserve for being the biggest.

What is remaining:

>Two fangs
>Skull
>Bit of meat
>Scales
>Skin
>Parts of the spine (Vertebra and ribs)

You can take as much skin and scales as you desire. You will however have to banter for meat and fangs. If you pick the sturdiest bones some might want to buy them as well. The skull belongs to you and no one will really try to buy it off from you, but it's too big to fit into your hut.

>What do you take?
>>
>>40965861
Fangs for boss pole, skull which can sit just outside our hut for now (and anyone who touches our skull gets krumped), scales and skin to add to armour for added flash git-ness.

I guess a some of the sturdier bone might make for a good addition to a weapon, so maybe try to take a couple of them so we can do something with them later.
>>
>>40965861
Just take some of everything and smack anyone who disagrees. We're the boss after all, just leave enough for the rest of the orks to scrap over so they exert any irritation about us doing so fighting each other.
>>
>>40965898
>>40965958

Let's sum it up. Both of the fangs (There's a Tinkboy who wants to buy one), sturdier Vertebra and sturdier ribs?
>>
>>40965993
And everything else in moderation. Forgot to add.
>>
>>40965993
Yeah, we won't need many vertebra and ribs, just a few given how big the snake was.

If the Tinkboy wants a fang, he'll just have to wait until the boyz krump another snake.
>>
>>40966002
Writing.
>>
>>40965861
“I'll take.. Sum of dis.. And of dat.. Oy gimme dat! Good! And I'll takee.... Dese!” You say, rummaging trough the snake's body, snapping ribs from the main spine and trying to sever blocks of bone from each other with random effects. You also go towards the fangs and start yanking one of them, they give weight very easily, surprisingly, and you throw them onto the pile of stuff that you take as your private items.

>20 units of snake skin
>30 units of scales
>10 units of sturdier ribs
>4 units of sturdier vertebra
>2 units of fangs
>A SKULL!

As you start packing these things into your hut (minus the skull of course), a tinkboy approaches you and eyes the fangs. As he's about to reach into his pouch filled with you can only presume are teef, you shoo him away, completely not interested in his offer about them and you go your merry way again. However, a Nob approaches you in the middle of the way to your hut.

“Oy boss! I'z want to buy sum ribs and spine blok! Dem be sturdy, I'z need em!”

>Do you sell 4 units of sturdier ribs, 1 unit of sturdier vertebra for a total of 6 teef?
>Haggle (3d6)
>Something else? (write-in)

Your total teef: 18
Your BRUTAL CUNNIN points: 1
>>
Rolled 6, 5, 4 = 15 (3d6)

>>40966115
>Haggle (3d6)
>>
Rolled 5, 6, 2 = 13 (3d6)

>>40966115
>Haggle (3d6)
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 4 = 11 (3d6)

>>40966115
>Haggle (3d6)
>>
15 is highest.

Writing. Next time I'll tell you all to roll in separate post.
>>
Haggle,
>>
>>40966248

Sounds good. Also, can we ask our mek-boy to build us a "pointy-basha" (put snake teeth on a basha). We probably have plenty of teef to pay.
>>
So I had an idea for the skull, since we're Evil Sunz but it will probably be a while before we progress from feral ork population levels to actual proper ork tech.

We get a tinkboy to stick wheels on it, add some red paint and spiky bitz, and turn it into a boar-drawn chariot.
>>
>>40966292
He'll stop working on your hut, which is about half done if you tell him to do it now, or you can try to do it yourself. You can always ask another mek though. Also to clarify a few things since I have the chance now. I'm referring to meks via tinkboy because they're so far all inexperienced and such. I will also refer to both gretchin and snotling via grots and runts. Separating them really doesn't have much sense and it's just easier to put them into one bag. They don't have that huge differences in ork society anyway.
>>
>>40966333
Eh, no rush, let him finish the hut first.
>>
>>40966390
Also, the teeth are big enough to be a hammer really. They're hollow on the wide end but you can fill that in easily. Bonus pointy end on the other side. That would be a two handed weapon, if you want something smaller, you will have to use ribs. But if you still want to, sure, a fang is also lighter than vertebra so you can one hand it sooner.

Next post is update.
>>
>>40966115
“Mmmmhmmmm... Dat's.. Too little for dis kuality stuffs! Look at dis rib!”

You say, grabbing it and trying to bend it. “Et's DIS tough! See dis?” You point at the vertebra, punching it a few times.

“Et's DAT tough! I'z can't sell ya for six teef!”

“Hmmmm hmmm.. Yu'z right boss... Eight teef!”

“Eleven!”

“Ahh come on boss!”

“Oight. Ten!”

“..Deal!”

>You received 9 teef, leaving you at 28 teef total.
>Lost 4 units of sturdier ribs, 1 unit of sturdier vertebra.

After the trade and counting the teef and seeing the quality of them, you continue to your hut, happy about your recent achievements in your reasonably recent life. Inside you met Woodbrain, tinkering about with the stairs, it seems that he just started working on those.

“Ay, Woodbrain! When my hut be done?!”

“Boss, tomorrow boss!”

“I hope so or I'll kkkrump ya gud! Anyways, you'z not gettin' snek bits?”

“Boss, I'z told me grots to buy sum stuff for me, boss.”

“Oight den. Oh, Woodbrain, I'z almost forgot. Build me a wepon! But later, finish my house first!"

"Boss, yes boss!"

>Pile up your stuff and hit the bed (refresh BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
>Watch Woodbrain tink about (Specialize yourself in mechanics. Doing this will severely limit other specializations and if you go further, you'll be able to become only a Big Mek and nothing else.)
>Something else? (write-in.)
>>
>>40966441
>Pile up your stuff and hit the bed (refresh BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
>>
>>40966441

Let's refresh brutal cunnin points and go to bed
>>
>>40966441
>>Pile up your stuff and hit the bed (refresh BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
what options are they besides Big Mek? Not familiar with all ork variations
>>
>>40966441
>Pile up your stuff and hit the bed (refresh BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
well time to hit the sac, there is only so much that an ork can done in a thay
>>
>>40966441
Question; can we still learn to be a Big Mek later if we want to?
>>
>>40966441
>Pile up your stuff and hit the bed (refresh BRUTAL CUNNIN points.)
And get some orks to help Woodbrain out, to work faster, and get some more mekboyz
>>
>>40966495
We're an Evil Sunz ork and on the way to becoming a warboss, so the most obvious route would be to become HUGE and drive a HUGE TRUKK.
>>
>>40966519
don't forget being KUNNING,
>>
>>40966516
As long as you don't specialize yourself in anything else, then yes.

Anyway. Writing.

>>40966495
Oh there's a lot. Kommando Boss to be stealthy, Big Mek to be a boss AND a mek! Pain Boss for some medical stuff and.. Whatever else comes into my mind honestly or you guys suggest.
>>
>>40966539
I just want to drive the biggest killiest vehicles we can. If we focus solely on being a warboss without any added specializations will we get bonuses to that too?
>>
>>40966558
The more you'll drive the better you'll get at it. The more teef you sink into your trukk the better it will be as well.
>>
>>40966558
We'll just have to play Kunning. I myself would rather go and drive a Gargant
>>
File: easter bunny 0.0.png (222 KB, 428x514)
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>>40966441
“Oy Woodbrain, get sum boyz to help ya out! We'z need even more tinkboyz!”

“Boss, uh, yes boss!”

You are replied quickly, although he seems to stay still and work on the stairs anyway, perhaps he'll do it later. Not thinking too much about it, you crash your pile of stuff into a corner and you yourself lay on the bed, close your eyes and scratch your forehead. What a day!

You slept easily and cozily, not disturbed by the quite late stomping and general work noises of Woodbrain which go away soon nevertheless.

You wake up fairly early in the morning, stretching out your arms and yawning before stomping your way to your squig leather clothes, finding it a bit difficult to put them on, you quickly realize the reason for that, you have grown over the night, quite a lot even! Now it's much easier to see who's in charge and you got generally stronger and better.

Eating your breakfast of snake meat (which you have to admit, isn't as good as squig meat, but you are on a budget here), you burp and pat your belly once you finish. Now full of both food and energy, you are ready to conquer everything! But first.

>Tink about yourself with the items you possess.
>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
>Something else? (write-in).

>You have refreshed your BRUTAL CUNNIN' points to maximum of 4.

>>40966588
Anon holy shit you don't even have fuel yet.
>>
>>40966539
I like the idea of being Big Mek to insure we trick out our vehicles.
>>
>>40966658
>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
If any gitz are lazing about, send them out scouting. We know there's humies on this planet, so we need to find them, krump them and loot them.
>>
>>40966658
>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
See how the house progressed, see if the Nob returned with the Methul bitz, see if thos stinky mining Grots returned

Shhh one day, one day.
>>
>>40966658
>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
>>
>>40966658
>>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
>>
Writing.
>>
>>40966658
>>See what's outside, nothing else than general commotion, but grots aren't given nights off!
>>
>>40966658
Even though your cooking was finished, you need to see what's cooking outside. In a jolly wobble and a hum you quit your hut into the general place and you let your eyes feast upon the might of the ork. Or you would if there was anything done more than in just bits.

>Grots started fungi farms, they just appeared and will still take some time, but you have food problems solved.
>10 more ork boys appeared! Two of which are tinkboyz, one Dokk and a runtherd, rest are just orks.

You aren't overly happy with the advances, but you have to settle with what you have, you enter out and hear Woodbrain working on the roof of your hut. It seems that he's starting to work on upper level. Accommodating your brain with that tidbit of information, you put the fresh boyz in line and make sure that each knows what to do and where they are. You will need to count your numbers soon as well. What's most interesting is that your Nob returned with all of the metal you found in the nest, and it's being spread about from ork to ork and grot to grot.

>Bum around for some commotion, Boss yourself around.
>Order your Nobz to do stuff (Continue forest carving, go looting again, mine search.)
>Buy things? (Decide)
>Something else? (write-in)
>>
>>40966810
>Order your Nobz to do stuff (mine search)
>>
>>40966810
Grab enough metal to add some choppy bitz to our basha, then get some boyz together and go looking for humies, or just more wildlife to krump and things to loot.

Also order nobz to do forest carving and mine searching while we're away.
>>
>>40966810
>Order your Nobz to do stuff (Continue forest carving, go looting again, mine search.)
Did those mining gits every return? If not, Looks like we're gonna have to make sure it gets done ourselves.
>>
Order the nobz to loot, because that's proper orky.
>>
>>40966810
>Order your Nobz to do stuff (Continue forest carving
Go forest carving, that's important and wasn't completed last time

>>40966834
If the group didn't return form the mines, then that means we should check it out ourselves. Orksa ren't big on simpathy, but wasting boyz are unnecessary
>>
>>40966893
>Orksa ren't big on simpathy, but wasting boyz are unnecessary
Plus if something killed them then it'll be something 'ard enough to make for a good fight.
>>
>Try to buy some metal bits on your way to gathering your Nobz up?
>>
>>40966934
Yeah, just enough to add some metal to our armour and choppy bitz to our basha.

We need to get one of the tinkboyz to work on that later, as well as the snakeskin and scales.
>>
>>40966902
yeah, no sense in letting a nob kill it, and let him think he is some hot shit. Plus there is the loot, and we need those mineralz in the mines

>>40966934
I'd rather grab a pile and drop it down at our hut, maybe woodbrain can make something out of it.
Armor, or weapon, or bett hut
>>
>>40966964
You doubt you can get a proper pile of the stuff, many orks might not want to sell you them and/or there isn't enough to make actual pile. You will have to settle on a "drive-by" shopping or focus on it for better prices and finds.
>>
>>40966986
We don't need a pile really, just enough for personal weapons and armour.

Stuff for our hut can wait until we have access to more metal.
>>
Drive by buy it is then.

Writing.

Also roll me 3d6 for your luck.
>>
Rolled 2, 4, 4 = 10 (3d6)

>>40967032
Mork guide my wallet!
>>
Rolled 5, 5, 1 = 11 (3d6)

>>40967032
a Kunning Boss 'nows hagglin'
>>
>>40967035
Zog me how awful, I should've asked Gork.
>>
Rolled 1, 3, 3 = 7 (3d6)

>>40967032
>>
Those are hard times for your teef wallet it seems.

11 is highest, writing.
>>
>>40967064
Ah well, we can make it back when we punch the nob in charge of mining in the gob for being slow.
>>
>>40966810
You're Zognik da Githog Da Boss, you are good at many things, but split attention isn't your strong point sadly. You focused a bit too much on actually finding your Nobz rather than actually hearing to prices and searching for good bits. All you could scan out was rather miniscule:

>One sword which is borderline useless due to your size, four metal plates for a total of 8 teef

>Deal
>No deal

>Your teef: 28
>>
>>40967104
>Deal

We can get a tinkboy to hammer the sword through our basha so it becomes the orky equivilent of a board with a nail through it.

Make sure the tinkboy doesn't hammer it through the grot though, we'd need to find a new grot if that happened.
>>
>>40967104
>deal
We can use the sword as a spikey bit later
>>
>>40967104
>Deal
>>
Deal it is. Writing.
>>
>>40967104
You exchange your 'coin' for the metal and go onward with a shield, breastplate and some other bits of metal. Most have rust on it, but it's still usable, even more so given how you really don't care about the bronze scratchy thing on those.

Walking trough the fungus filled paths, you quickly gather your Nobz at a meeting place, each of them was bigger than you remember from the last day to be sure, but none of them outsized you and you had to look down at them rather than being on the same level than before. Dropping off your recent purchases which shortened you to 20 teef. You return to the meeting spot and start bossing around.

>”Woit a sekund.... Were'z da Nob I sent to seach for a mine?!”
>”Ya gits! You'z gotta..” (You have 4 Nobz, you have to do: Forest carving, Looting, Mine/Search for the Nob and his gits).
>>
>>40967280
>”Woit a sekund.... Were'z da Nob I sent to seach for a mine?!”
>>
>>40967280
>>”Woit a sekund.... Were'z da Nob I sent to seach for a mine?!”
>>
>>40967280
>”Woit a sekund.... Were'z da Nob I sent to seach for a mine?!”
>>
Writing.
>>
>>40967280
“Woit a sekund.... Were'z da Nob I sent to seach for a mine?!” You yell out in a new, bossy tone, kind of surprising even yourself but you keep your cool. It seems you got more.. Charisma, as well when it comes to ordering everyone around.

“We.. We dun't 'now, Boss. I'z seen him go ova dere and dats it, he took six boyz wiff 'imself if I rekall correctly.”

You slam your fist against the table, rubbing your forehead from anger, it seems you are few orks short in terms of numbers, you really need someone to count everyone so it's easier to boss orks around. But so far you lost a nob, six orks, few grots in your looting escapade died as well as two other orks, not that you minded the fight, but numbers are numbers.

“Oight ya gitz, here'z how we do et..”

>Orders? You can assign only 2 Nobz for one job for maximum efficiency.
>>
>>40967419
>OW RIGHT YA GITZ WE GONNA FIND THAT GIT, INSABURDANATION AIN'T ALLOWED IN DA TRIBE! ROUND UP SOME BOYZ UND MEET ME BACK ERE SOON!
>>
>>40967452
this
>>
>>40967452
Specifically the boyz that helped us fight that snake.
>>
>>40967419
>Youz and youz, you go and git dat lumber, or y'all getting hammered again.(one group for lumber collection)
>youz and youz, you follow the shiny thing, and come tell what thataway (see what lies west)

I go and chek on them boyz in da minez, with twelve other.

BUT BEFORE THAT, ALL GIT GIT 'ERE AND SEE WHAT'Z WHAT (gather everyone for count-up)

I go and see what them boys
>>
>>40967487
Dey'z gon be our first Ard Boyz!
>>
>>40967419
Oh jesus, I forgot to write. He pointed north. That's where the Nob went, I am really sorry.
>>
>>40967515
It's okay we'll probably make a bodycount, and sent the nobz on their way before going to the mines.
>>
So far from what I understand.

>One Nob with a group to search for the missing Nob
>One Nob for lumber work.
>One Nob for counting orks

Is that alright? You have one Nob left you can assign and you can join up to any of these yourself. Or just bum around.
>>
>>40967615
the free nob and ourselves should join the search for the missing nob. Chances are something killed them, so we gonna need all the orks we can get.
>>
>>40967615
We ourselves go to the mine and search for the nob.
I think 2 nob should do the lumbering, as one last time wasn't enough
>>
>>40967654
this
>>
>>40967654
Second
>>
Support for Yourself, free nob and designated nob + boyz to search for the fifth Nob wins.

Last minute changes or are we free to go with that?

Also, how many boys do you take?

>10
>20
>?
>>
>>40967764
>10
more than what the Nob went with, but not too much so we can still be sneaky if we have to be
>>
>>40967764
just the ones that fought the snake with us and a few volunteers.
>>
>>40967764
15
>>
>>40967764
10, don't want to keep the lumber nob from having enough boyz to do the job
>>
>>40967764
double whatever went with the last nob.
>>
>>40967764
15
>>
>>40967801
Volunteers? These lazy orks wouldn't do anything unless there is a Boss around ordering and threatening them.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

It's a split honestly. Let the dice decide.

>1 for 10
>2 fot 15
>>
>>40967764
>10
>>
>>40967875
Well then 8 guys from the last, few more to fill in. Total of 18 Orks. Don't worry guys, soon you'll be sending hundreds into stuff.

Writing.

>Barely 93 posts and I'm already tired, shit.
>>
>>40967875
>>40967880
Oops, just too late.
>>
>>40967875
I thought that >>40967814 counts as a tenner, since we've been told that the nob went with 5 boyz

Whateverm it's not like this is an earthshattering decision
>>
>>40967896
Caffeine is a QM's friend.
>>
>>40967902
whoops scratch that it said six orks
>>
>>40967908
I'm not drinking caffeine or any caffeine related drinks. I ain't touching that.
>>
>>40967962
You Mormon.
>>
It might be a bit late, but do we have anyone training the boars? If not, I'd suggest sending at least a few boys and a nob to do that.
>>
>>40967962
Fiiine. I guess cocaine is your only option.
>>
>>40967986
this! all of this!
>>
>>40967419
“WE'Z GUNNA FIND DA GIT AND MAKE SURE HE AIN'T GUNNA BE INSOBURNI..SHIATED ANYMORE! GADER MY BOYZ FROM LAST DAY AND WE'Z GOING. YOU'Z GONNA MAKE SURE WE HAVE ENUFF WOOD AND YU'Z GONNA GO LOOT!”

You order around, it doesn't take much time to get the gears oiled up and start grinding. In the corner of your eyes you see that this time, lumber is going to be in huge quantities, you expect a lot now. Gathering up your trusty boyz and your lazy Nobz, your mob of orks start going north in search for the mine and the missing ork. Two birds with one stone.

The path is long and wicked, thick bushes and vines prevent you from moving quickly but to little effect, Evil Sunz genes keep your legs relentless and stompy, pushing rocks and destroying bushes in massive stomps, this gets boring quickly however, and you find only one way to make this walk interesting. Speed.

Your slow steps turn up in speed, your green, hulking body getting adrenaline rush as the air is brushing your face stronger and faster as your steps grow in strength and size. Then you release a primordial roar, inspiring your brethren into massive sprint, sending you all like a thrown rock forward, breaking logs and crushing stones that happen to land under your foot.

However, there's a finish line to everything, and you just approached yours.

>3d6 for luck.

>>40967986
>Ork quest with QM on Coke.

This is devilish in its genius.
>>
>>40967981
That's good idea anon, but we should start that one ourselves.
When we come back, we find the biggest, and baddest boar of them. Wrestle it, show it who is boss, then the rest of the herd will follow.
>The Boss's ride is the Boss of the rides
>>
Rolled 5, 5, 4 = 14 (3d6)

>>40968008
>>
Rolled 6, 6, 4 = 16 (3d6)

>>40968008
>>
Rolled 5, 6, 5 = 16 (3d6)

>>40968008
>>
>>40968012
Oh there are random orks trying their strength on that, don't worry about it. You also need Dokks to make special fungi based diets so they can grow bigger and be more willing to be ridden by an ork.
>>
>>40968050
>>40968053
First crits of the series! Nice.

Writing.
>>
>>40968033
>>40968050
>>40968053
>>40968076
Zognik da Githog iz blue when he goes fast, dat makes 'im luckier.
>>
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>>40968008
The addicting speed forces your blood to move faster and carry more energy into your limbs, forcing your body to smash trough a tree that happened to be right in front of you, already broken by something, what? It doesn't matter and you don't care. With loud, bossy growl you send splinters flying all around you, other orks chanting as they see you ignoring nature's obstacles in order to slow you down. And those chants, they make you even faster.

With your relentless speed build up, you have nothing else to do but to jump as a giant hole right in front of you just materializes out of nowhere, you care little about what is it about at first, until you notice the width of it.

It's huge, huge as fuck. And really deep.

Flailing your limbs, you gain vertical speed as well as horizontal, thinking quickly, you land on the wooden scaffolding, but it proves to not be enough to survive your test and you crash downwards, partially tumbling down before gaining a moment to stabilize yourself. And you don't stop running, from the wooden planks onto the short rocky path that ends in a cliff, you jump again, further down into the mine before you land on something quite fluffy with a painful grunt. The thing you landed on returns the favor by jumping upwards, startled from its sleep before twisting its neck 180 degree to growl at you with its massive fangs.

Whatever it is, it's really not happy for you to be on top of it in this advantageous position

>Rodeo?
>Beat the zog out of it!

>BRUTAL CUNNIN' ACTION: (write-in)
>>
>>40968202
Rodeo! Whatever it is we can break it to be able to ride it into battle, We'z da boss!
>>
>>40968202
>Rodeo?
>>
>>40968202
>BRUTAL CUNNIN' ACTION: (write-in)

Distract it so it moves into a position where our boys will fall on its head and back. The snake was able to move around and we ain't letting that happen again!

What's it look like? Can we beat it into submission?
>>
>>40968202
>Rodeo?
>>
>>40968202
Rodeo.
>>
>>40968241
Imagine dire wolf. Add in fur so dark it almost doesn't reflect light, make it about one size bigger, let it turn its neck 180 degrees for cool factor, fangs the size of human middle finger and vaguely anthropomorphic foremost limbs that kind of look like human.

Also third eye that looks like its going to leak blood any second now on its forehead.
>>
>>40968274
If we knew or cared overmuch about the details of chaos and warp corruption that final point might be worrying.

Lucky for us we're orks, and therefore give no shits.
>>
>>40968274
Imagine how cool we'll be with that baby on a chain! So yeah, move it to a position where ten 600+ lbs orkz fall on it!
>>
Rodeo is it then.

Writing.
>>
>>40968274
'dat's wun ded killy squig
>>
>>40968202
Damn right Rodeo!
>>
>>40968314
Sorry anon, you were overvotted? Is that a proper word?
>>
>>40968318
Oh, also.

>roll 3d6.
>>
Rolled 3, 3, 2 = 8 (3d6)

>>40968354
>>
Rolled 1, 3, 3 = 7 (3d6)

>>40968354
>>
Rolled 6, 5, 5 = 16 (3d6)

>>40968354
>>
>>40968370
RIDE THAT BABY!
>>
>>40968370
The speed-force calls!
>>
>>40968331
Out voted but it's all cool. We're all having fun.
>>
>>40968202
It really feels like its trying to make you horrified, but you only find it cute, nevertheless, your right arm clenches into a fist and swings to the side, smashing itself against the dirty teeth, breaking two and hearing a nice crack in the neck. You didn't break it but definitely stretched it hard enough to crack, then you grab on onto the thick fur in a vice-like grip and slap the beasts rear.

It jerks up in a brutal manner, any normal ork would be sent flying forward onto its jaw, but you hold strong, only barely clapping against its body with your hip bone as it jerks again upwards, this time with its foremost body, but again, it's no use as your orkish might holds you tight.

Seeing that it cannot throw you off after a few tries, it rolls itself on its back with the most disgusting growl you ever heard, the weight of the monster crushing against your ribs as you grunt from being pushed into the rock ground, but this is where the beast made its mistake. Your arm gives out from the hold and instead, wraps itself around the chest mid roll. Your legs prove are given no match against the momentum and hold both of you up right.

It growls again, this time more in a howl, its arms claw against yours that hold it down, crushing the ribcage and removing air from the lungs. It cuts deep and you retaliate by doing what you are the best at; running really fast forward.

You crash the monstrosity against a rocky wall, it whines as gush of blood covers your back, a spike penetrated the right shoulder.

“Oy! Da boss is ova dere!”

In a very silly reaction, you turn your entire body towards the source of the voice, effectively breaking the spike and making it lodged inside the wound while spreading it to the sides, causing another whine of pain and anger to be released.

>Keep wrestling.
>Go towards your friendlies.

>BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION: BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX.
>>
>>40968470
BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX!
Maximum WAAAAAAGH!
>>
>>40968470
>Belly to Back Suplex.
How many brutal cunnin points we got?
>>
>>40968507
4
>>
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>>40968470
>BRUTAL CUNNIN ACTION: BELLY TO BACK SUPLEX.
>>
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>>40968470
Suplex, without a doubt.
>>
Suplex wins.

>roll 3d6
>>
So I take it we're never getting Cybork legs because our legs are so orky that putting bitz in em would only make them worse?

But god damn, imagine what it would feel like to get kicked by this big motherfucker.
>>
>>40968549
Anon, you don't understand the SCIENZ of orks.

Metal always makes it better.
>>
Rolled 6, 1, 1 = 8 (3d6)

>>40968545

>>40968549
No cybork leg, unless we lose a leg I mean, but we do however need to get a big pair of steel-toed boot for kickin' gitz.
>>
Rolled 5, 6, 4 = 15 (3d6)

>>40968545
>>
Rolled 6, 4, 2 = 12 (3d6)

>>40968545

Bely tu bak suplex!
>>
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>>40968549
>cybork legs
>not pic related for maximum speed
>>
Rolled 1, 5, 5 = 11 (3d6)

>>40968545
Shit man, suplexing this motherfucker is gonna be awesome.
>>
>>40968598
YES
YES
>>
Rolled 1, 6, 4 = 11 (3d6)

>>40968545
>>
15 is highest, writing.
>>
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Rolled 6, 3, 2 = 11 (3d6)

>>40968545
Anytime we find a non sentient creature I'm going to be all about taming or eating it. I just imagine orks as following the "give it the D" philosophy of taming and diplomacy. Except the D is for Dakka and punching gits.
>>
>>40968598
I'd rather keep our legs, we need something to slam down on the gas pedal when we're driving our smoke-belching tank-crushing machine of WAAAGH!
>>
>>40968634
Can't argue with that.
>>
>>40968634
I imagine we will eventually make some kind of monster racing fortress, or fly a spacecraft in atmosphere.
>>
>>40968667
I hope so, as boss one of our ambitions should be to amass the largest and killiest collection of vehicles known to ork-kind, bikes, trukks, warbuggies, fuckhuge orky wheeled fortresses, gargants, kroozas, everything.
>>
>>40968734
I feel like being a Big Mek might work well with this ambition but, yeah, no reason to lock in this early.
>>
>>40968470
Like you need help of those useless gits! And as you think that, your new found play toy started to wriggle and hack at your arm which at this point is starting to hurt, so you do the most reasonable thing you can think of. And lord is it a brutally cunning one.

In one big swoop, your spine arches and your massive, bulging muscles relax, contract and sweat out every power in your body in order to take care of this beast by purely yourself, and you lean back. Your head inching from the ground, almost avoiding concussion while the beast is a bit.. Less lucky.

You hear even more satisfacting whine of pain and hurt as its neck and skull crash and break against the ground. From the distance you hear closing in cheers and yells from your green comrades, cheering you on in this so far one sided fight.

You try to do this again, rolling to the side to gain composure again and you do so, the body of the beast fairly limp now, with a primordial scream of victory you lean back one more. But mid swing the monster regains consciousness and pushes its mighty arms into the ground before the impact. Then you feel its muscles flex and you are promptly chucked forward into the air. Not splattering against the wall only because of your grapple. And now that the beast is on its legs and notices more of your coming, it tries to leg it into a deep cave with you on back.

And you doubt the two of you can fit into the hole.

>Let go.
>Stop it.

>Brutal Cunning (3p.): Let go, grab the tail. Smash the fucker.
>>
>>40968764
>Stop it.
>>
>>40968764
>Stop it.
Use those Evil Sunz legZ!
Dig them in the ground!
>>
yes hello

where is first thread
>>
>>40968764
>Stop it.
I IZ LOOTING YA!
>>
>>40968764
>Stop it.
>>
>>40968792
>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Daboss
>>
>>40968792
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/40900460/
>>
>>40968764
STOP RITE DERE CRIM'NAL SKUM!
>>
>>40968764
Grab it around the neck and lean back hard as it goes into a cave. That way it's head will smash into the entrance!
>>
>>40968828
That will cost a BRUTAL CUNNIN POINT

I need to remember to put in write-in options in case someone doesn't know I let those.
>>
>>40968828
Phone anon has the kunning!
>>
>>40968764
>>40968828
This
>>
>>40968828
Change my vote of >>40968786 to spinning back his head. That's textbook ork kunning
>>
>>40968814
>>40968818
thanks
>>
>>40968828
Never mind what I previously said, this is the best idea.
>>
>>40968828
Sounds good to me.
>>
Using a Brutal Cunnin point for: >>40968828

>3d6.

Also, after this vote, I must go for about an hour. I really don't know how much I will write after I come back, might even finish it just as I come back. Sorry but irl is like that.

The beast will die soonat least at this rate.
>>
Rolled 2, 3, 2 = 7 (3d6)

>>40968909
>>
Rolled 2, 2, 2 = 6 (3d6)

>>40968909
>>
Rolled 3, 4, 4 = 11 (3d6)

>>40968909
>>
Rolled 5, 2, 2 = 9 (3d6)

>>40968909
>>
Rolled 1, 2, 5 = 8 (3d6)

>>40968909
Rolling, rolling, rolling down the river.
>>
Rolled 4, 4, 4 = 12 (3d6)

>>40968909
>>
>>40968941
>>40968935
Dem fucking twos, though.
>>
You can always use a BRUTAL CUNNIN point to get another chance at rolling.

Highest is 11

>Spend a point?

If yes, roll me 3d6 again, best of three posts again. Now I gotta go for a bit.
>>
>>40968962
I think we should be okay
>>
>>40968962
I say we keep our roll
>>
I agree, let's see where it goes.
>>
>>40968962
Nah, stick with it. Nothing wrong with earning a few good orky scars.
>>
Yeah, I vote to stick with it too. Nothing wrong with a scar after a BRUTAL CUNNING fight.
>>
Well then, managed to go back fairly quickly. I'll get to writing now.

11 highest But is it high enough?
>>
You know at some point we need to claim the mountain that looks like an Ork. And then we need to have races running down it at a 45 degree incline.
>>
>>40968764
You see the beast leg it like the unorky thing it is, noticing that wasn't hard given how you were flung onto its back in just mere seconds ago. With a whining growl it begins its charge into the depths of the mine, rocks flying over your head and smashing into your back in a painful manner due to your friendlies trying to help.

In but mere few moments you both are at the middle of the road, thinking fast(and cunningly), you scheme yet another cunning plan, with a tight grip onto the neck and throat with the other hand, your arms yank it upwards ass you are quarter way to the entrance.

The plan was good, execution rather poor, its neck twists to the side and with it your body, and you rub your side and back across the floor, tearing your skin before the massive humanoid arm stomps onto your chest, causing your ribs to crack before you both tumble in a roll of grunts, growls, punches, bites and scratches.

This fight ends right in front of the cave with both of you at your sides, your body scratched and pierced, its beaten and bashed. The teeth you knocked out regenerated already to your surprise and disadvantage. You must end it right now or risk the monster escaping or something else.

>3d6
>>
Rolled 2, 6, 3 = 11 (3d6)

>>40969482
>>
Rolled 2, 1, 3 = 6 (3d6)

>>40969482
>>
>>40969482
Dice+3d6
>>
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Bruh, bad times ahead for us I think.
>>
Rolled 3, 6, 1 = 10 (3d6)

>>40969482
>>
Rolled 4, 6, 6 = 16 (3d6)

>>40969482
>>
>>40969549
>>40969547
Aahhhh two seconds you motherfuckers.
>>
>>40969547
>>40969549
Can we spend a point to swap these?
>>
Use the reroll to get this>>40969549
?
>>
>>40969549
SO.

CLOSE.

YET.

SO.

FAR.

>Spend a BRUTAL CUNNIN' point?
>>
Rolled 3, 1, 1 = 5 (3d6)

>>40969585
Yes
>>
>>40969594
You done fucked up son.
>>
Rolled 4, 3, 1 = 8 (3d6)

>>40969585
Yes!
>>
>>40969594
>first reroll
>critfail.

Oh boy. 2 more posts.
>>
>>40969604
still need consensus!
>>
>>40969585
yes
>>
>>40969585
Yes
>>
>>40969585
Yes, spend a point. We still have a backup if shit gets tight.
>>
Okay, ignoring those rolls. I got too hasty because of the crit, I am sorry.

>roll 3d6

These WILL count now.
>>
Rolled 6, 3, 1 = 10 (3d6)

>>40969641
Yeah not gonna lie you we're being a dick
>>
Rolled 2, 3, 6 = 11 (3d6)

>>40969641
>>
Rolled 4, 6, 2 = 12 (3d6)

>>40969641
You want a critfail? Here you go!
>>
12 highest.

Again, I am really sorry for that. Got really hasty, bit tired. I'll pay more attention now.

Writing.
>>
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So what happens? We good?
>>
>>40969699
No problem QM, better take some more of that coke.
>>
>>40969717
Dis is ork quest, Slaaneshi quest is not yet here.
>>
>>40969742
Can you imagine if there was an Ork WAAAGH! that Slaanesh had turned? That would be terrifying....
>>
>>40969742
If Slaanesh is the god of excess and lust and yadda yadda, does that mean if you yelled loud enough, and long enough at him that she would have an orgasm?

Hm. The deeper questions in life indeed.
>>
>>40969861
Does gunporn appeal to Khorne or Slaanesh?
>>
>>40969861
Slaanesh is always experiencing orgasm
>>
>>40969482
You are not stupid, or at least not that stupid to actually let it escape, it wouldn't fun trying to find it again, so you stand your ground and not let it pass.

The beast lunges out, deciding on ignore strategy, but your massive hand grabs the fluffy tail and drag it with all your might back towards you, as it digs the claws into the ground, you punch it from the ground into the kidney, causing it to spit saliva and get its attention. In return it pounds its weight in a jump on top of you, crashing against your ribcage and yet again cracking your ribs like before, making you gasp and growl in anger which you relief by a left swing into the mouth.

It whines, this time less in hate but more in pain and stutters backwards, letting you grab the thick neck and pinch it, blocking oxygen into its lungs. In return however, the beast clamps its humanoid arm on yours and tightens the grip into a bone shattering grasp, in a growl, you give way. It uses that moment of pain to slash at you from the other side, but your arm interlocks with the paw-palm and stops it, but you have nothing to prevent the other set of claws.

Four sharp nails dig into your flesh and tear it apart, right above the eye at an angle, ripping their way downwards in a show of green ork blood and bone scratching. Instinctively you close your eye and barely avoid being blind as the nail scratches what would be an eye instead of patch of thick ork skin.

It keeps going down up to your nose, rendering your flesh before it whines again, a rock landing on the temple of its skull, making it wince and wither in pain. Your boyz quite nonchalantly just piled on top of it and started bashing it with their weapons. The monster couldn't retaliate and after a moment of loud, pathetic whines, stops twitching, body heavily battered in a pool of blood. (Cont.)
>>
>>40969951

It's over at least, and hey you got a kickass scar!

As you are about to stand up, you notice red-dark shadows form above the corpse, raising it a bit from the ground before a loud howl of energy seemingly penetrates the carcass, vaguely humanoid shape in the beam going into the sky.

And then utter silence.

“Oyyy boss! You'z got a gud scar!

“Ya das a gud skar!”

“Noice!”

“Oy boss dat was great, da best part was when ya slammed it into da ground, dat was amazing!”

“..Wot woz dat actually?”

“Who cares!? Da boss krumped it gud!”

“Ay, I guess!”

End of thread. Too tired to go. But I'll stick around for Q&A for a bit. Also, can somebody archive the thread? Many thanks.
>>
>>40969884
Why would Khorne give a fuck about gunporn?

He only gives a shit if you'z foightan an'

Wait, sorry, he only cares if you're killing and fighting.
>>
>>40969969
Thanks for the thread, Boss, job's a good 'un.
>>
>>40969969

You are awesome OP. I hate every fucking quest thread but this orky thread is awesomne. Shame I always end up too late and only read the thread before it says end of thread
>>
>>40969969
Wait what it's dead? We wanted it to be our mount!
>>
>>40969969
da biggest and da orkiest
>>
>>40970030
I think it was some sort of daemon-possessed thing, so it would have most likely fought to the death whatever we did.
>>
>>40969969
maybe post the last action of the thread in the new one so its easier to remember what happened last time when theers a bit of time between other threads
>>
Archived it for you, QM.

>http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Daboss
>>
>>40970088
I'll try to do that next time. Thanks for the infe.
>>
>>40970100
Thank you Anon.
>>
>>40970105
you could also do the HMQ thing and have short time jumps as an opening post. Might be useful later on when you want to speed up development progress.
>>
>>40970135
I will. Thanks for the tip. Anything else?
>>
>>40970189
Not the same anon, but a pastebin of our equipment, resources and the (approximate) size of our warband might be handy as we get larger.
>>
>>40970189
Don't go full blown maths, after a certain point i suggest switching metrics and scale instead of counting individual numbers, that way you don't get bogged down tracking everything.
>>
>>40970245
I'll try to have that ready for next session. About links. I got a twitter: https://twitter.com/OrkQuestQM

>>40970252
Nope I won't, I know that, thanks for the tip though.

Any questions about the quest?
>>
>>40970189
Keep it up. Main thing is people lose steam. We all enjoy it, and hopefully that helps but make sure you get sleep and workout some. Till next time man.
>>
If there are no questions, I'll go now. See you next time, which hopefully will be Tuesday.
>>
>Universes' fastest gargant hype



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