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/tg/ - Traditional Games


>Archive links:
http://archive.moe/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest
Twitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuest

You are Urist Twelfthbay, and you’re-

“Watch out!”

- whirling to the side, lashing out with a gauntlet and deflecting a brightly-colored brick the size of your head. You don’t hesitate, plowing right into the Terits as it tries to regain its bearings; more blocks orbit around the incomprehensible monster, preparing to crush you, but a fist straight through those disembodied eyes is enough to put the damn thing out of commission. Dammit. If Shovel Knight hadn't called out that warning-

Where were you again? Right. So you’re the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. Used to be that you’d thought that a particularly sick curse: you’d had all the weaknesses of a dwarf and absolutely none of the benefits, since you were stuck as a disgustingly cute little girl in a universe full of disgustingly cute little girls. Lately, you’ve been getting the hang of this shit, so you’re-

“Behind you!”

- ducking reflexively as Shovel Knight hurtles past. You needn’t have bothered: she’s got the agility of a master wrestler, and all that heavy armor just gives her the stopping power of a brick wall. Your ally sails high up over your head and comes down shovel-first, slamming into a writhing mass of shiny Super FX polygons with enough force to pulverize stone. As if that wasn’t enough, she /bounces/ like she’s made of springs, and it’s just enough to propel her on top of the dogoo with predictable results.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41920737
Anyway, you’re on the road again. This time, it’s just you and Shovel Knight, out to clear a dungeon together. It’s pretty nostalgic stuff, and you can almost make yourself believe that it’s just like the good old days: no worrying about the end of the known world, or about evil goddesses popping up and fucking over everything. Just trying to make ends meet, trying to stave off cabin fever and ironing out those bugs and glitches that prevent either of you from integrating into normal society, just you and-

Well, just you and Mojang. And she’s the reason you’re out in the goddamned boondocks of Leanbox in the first place. It all started when-

"Urist! On your guard!"

For fuck's sake- you grab the other dogoo (the fifteenth, by now), cutting off its tackle. In lieu of any fancy wrestling moves that won't work on something with no limbs, you pop the bastard like a water balloon, making sure to hold it out at arm's length to avoid getting any Mysteriously Sticky Slime on you.

Yes, that's actually a thing. You blame Gamindustri's horrid bent toward fanservice, which is tantamount to the laws of physics in universe.

Anyway, here's the fucking lowdown:

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41920754
1) You're in Leanbox. It's a hotbox of chaos and treachery thanks to the dark goddess Arfoire, who's impersonating the nation's leader and has basically taken control of the seat of power.
2) The ACTUAL leader, CPU Green Heart (aka Vert), is in hiding and recovering her strength, and she's moving to another hideout.
3) Since this isn't Arfoire's first time running rampant, CPU Green Heart's triggered a great big honking fail-safe- the Red Ring of Death- which should temporarily eject Arfoire and her allies from Leanbox and buy Gamindustri some time to put up a proper defense.
4) Thanks to Arfoire, Mojang- your surrogate little sister- was badly injured and corrupted and who knows what else, and none of you (not even CPU Green Heart) is willing to risk fucking her up by double-timing her across half a continent and an ocean. Doubly so if Arfoire planted some sort of nasty surprise in her coding.

Not the perfect explanation, since it leaves out all that shit about possible all-out war between nations sparked by Arfoire's treachery, but it's a start. So that's why you're out with Shovel Knight, intent on diving straight into one specific dungeon that should contain the conveniently-placed medicines that you'll need to bring Mojang back up to par. Everyone else- Rokko, Exey, and CPU Green Heart herself- will be moving to another one of Vert's little hidey-holes and all that jazz.

That's the plan, anyway. It's just that-

"At this rate, we will be stuck fighting here all day." Hot on the heels of her own voice, Shovel Knight slams into the ground next to you and knocks away yet another dogoo. "We shall need a plan of much cunning to clear us of this mess!"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41920780
Apparently, the moment that Arfoire stole CPU Green Heart's soverignty (sovreignty? Sover- /queenliness/, whatever) from right in front of her nose, monsters started spilling out from who the fuck knows where. Forget one-random-encounter-per-instance-of-travel: you're getting dogoos up the wazoo, two-dimensional pixelated throwbacks, and even manifestations of abstract concepts, like window panes torn right out of dating sims. And it's not just the swath of forested land you're sitting in- beyond the forest's edge, as far as the eye can see, Leanbox's green pastures are swarming with monsters.

Goddamn. On one hand, you don't have time for this. On the other hand, if you stand out too much, there's a good chance that you'll pique the curiosity of one of Arfoire's goons, and /that'll/ fuck the both of you right up. And on the other OTHER hand, you've got a whole dungeon to wade through after you get through these guys, so you maybe shouldn't blow everything you've got.

What do?

[ ] [FLAIR] Fuck it. Blast through the monsters with ONE big fancy maneuver, and clear a path to where you're supposed to go. Maybe it'll draw some attention away from CPU Green Heart's efforts.
[ ] [GO UNDERGROUND] You're a dwarf, and Shovel Knight's a digger: tunnel your way straight to the fucking dungeon. Sure, it'll take some time, and you really hope you won't bump into anything nasty down there, but it's worth a shot... right?
[ ] [RUN FASTER] Forget fighting- Mojang's counting on you, and you don't have time to deal with any of this shit. Double-time it to the dungeon, even if it means dragging a train of monsters behind you.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>have to go to sleep immediately
NOOOOOO MY DWARF-TIME
>>
>>41920805
>[x] [GO UNDERGROUND] You're a dwarf, and Shovel Knight's a digger: tunnel your way straight to the fucking dungeon. Sure, it'll take some time, and you really hope you won't bump into anything nasty down there, but it's worth a shot... right?
>>
>>41920805
>[ ] [FLAIR] Fuck it. Blast through the monsters with ONE big fancy maneuver, and clear a path to where you're supposed to go. Maybe it'll draw some attention away from CPU Green Heart's efforts.
Going underground hasn't let us escape monsters before
>>
>>41920805
>[ ] [FLAIR] Fuck it. Blast through the monsters with ONE big fancy maneuver, and clear a path to where you're supposed to go. Maybe it'll draw some attention away from CPU Green Heart's efforts.
>>
>>41920805

[ ] [FLAIR] Fuck it. Blast through the monsters with ONE big fancy maneuver, and clear a path to where you're supposed to go. Maybe it'll draw some attention away from CPU Green Heart's efforts.

First time posting after finally catching up. I can't believe you didn't have Elda called Tessa.
>>
>>41920805
Nice to finally see you again Blorp
>>
Alright, looks like FLAIR is the winning vote so far- gonna start writing for it, though I'll see if the vote shifts any other way!


>>41920809
Jesus, anon, what time zone are you in? I feel sort of bad if it's the same one guy every time who has to go to bed every time I kick up a thread.

>>41920884
>I can't believe you didn't have Elda called Tessa.
... can you believe it took me like half a minute to see what you did there and now that I see it, I STRONGLY regret not taking the chance to call her that, curses

>>41920936
Thanks!
>>
>>41920884
>>41921002
I don't get it
>>
>>41921056
The Elder Scrolls.
TESsa.
>>
>>41920805
>[X] [FLAIR] Fuck it. Blast through the monsters with ONE big fancy maneuver, and clear a path to where you're supposed to go. Maybe it'll draw some attention away from CPU Green Heart's efforts.

I want us to draw their attention, then yell out things like "I'm a distraction!" and "I can't believe you fell for this!" while fighting the boss we draw in. Just to fuck with their minds.
>>
>>41920805
>[MINECART] Travel and Destruction
Hopefully we can bounce ontop of them at high speed like Mario
>>
>>41921085
>>41920884
Why not just TESS, for The Elder Scrolls Series?
>>
>>41921517
Tessa works too.
>>
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>>41920805
>[X] [FLAIR]

You mull over this while lashing out with your liquid metal gauntlets, shearing through another Tetris-like Terits-creature. 'A plan of much cunning,' huh... well, you've always been short on cunning. What you DO have is brute strength, but for what you've got in mind, you need Shovel Knight to be with you on this, 1000%.

"We have not known each other for very long, Urist, but I am willing to see this through-"

She's got a fire wand, right? You've seen her use it once or twice.

"The Flare Wand, yes! It's one of my most prized possessions." The blue-armored knight faces the monsters converging on your position; you can't see her expression through that damned T-shaped slit, but you can hear the wryness in her voice. "Although it won't be enough to get us through all these beasts."

How's she feel about trees?

That throws her a bit, and you see her hesitate before swinging her shovel like a golf club, sending a dogoo spattering against a 2D mockup of someone's waifu (complete with dialogue box). "I find them pretty enough, I suppose," she replies cautiously.

So she's not gonna murder you for murdering trees or anything, right?

"What?" Shovel Knight actually guffaws. "No, that's simply preposterous!"

Good, because you're going to kill a whole lot of monsters by killing a whole lot of trees. Without waiting for an answer, you crouch down, your braids brushing the tips of the grass all around you, and sink your fingers into the dirt. Let's face it- you sure as hell don't have as much power as literally everyone else you know. But compared to what you've lived with for years and years, what you've got is still enough to make everyday feel like a goddamned joyride.

Time to introduce some good ol' broken Dwarf Fortress physics to these motherfuckers.

>Urist Twelfthbay charges forward!
ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)
Taking the best of three!
DC: 85 minimum to avoid attracting unwanted attention
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>41921774
But the fire will work regardless I see?
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>41921774
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>41921774
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>41921774
I don't like them odds
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>41921774
>>
>>41921828
And the fire was invisible somehow.

>>41921831
>>41921842
Jesus Christ
>>
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>>41921828
>>41921842
>>41921828
>>
>>41921828
Is this a good thing or a less good thing?

>>41921842
Goddamit you're slow.
>>
>>41921828
>>41921831
>>41921842
apparently the dice are rolling high tonight. HO-LY SHIT.
>>
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>>41921828
>>41921831
>>41921842
I-

85 is supposed to be a difficult roll on 3d100, right?

.......... r-right?
>>
>>41921957
Those d100 fam
>>
>>41921957
yes it is
>>
>>41921957
we blew it all too soon. We're fucked in the dungeon proper
>>
>>41921957

kinda?
>>
>>41921994
I think we blew up the dungeon with those rolls.
>>
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>>41921957
So what did we just do?
>>
>>41921957
>Start a new Quest to combat escalating ridiculousness due to overly lucky rolls.
>The Goddess smiles upon you, Luck is no longer in their favor.
>Quest threads always late.
>A Lady like punctuality.
>Cry Fortune, and let slip the dice of Luck.
>>
Did Blorp break?
>>
>>41923111
No more than usual
>>
>>41921774
>>41921828
>97
>and other literally flawless rolls

You remember hearing somewhere that low encounter rates are a point of pride for the goddesses, although you sure as hell don't know the exact science behind it (assuming you can even use the phrase "exact science" for ANYTHING relating to Gamindustri). All you know is that when a goddess sits at the head of her nation, her very presence (and a lot of shares) ensures its stability, sealing it against all sorts of fucked up shit: malignant viruses, invasions from beyond space and time, monsters spawning at obscene rates...

And asshole adventurers warping the nation's coding. Assholes like yourself. So while Vert no longer being on Leanbox's throne has allowed monsters to pop up like weeds, it also means that you don't need a permit to temporarily dick around with the laws of physics.

You FEEL your power seeping into the forest around you like- like sweat seeping out from your fingertips and soaking up through all these trees' roots and that metaphor sounds kind of disgusting so you're just going to drop it now. Anyway, you're in, so you tell Shovel Knight to light it up.

The words barely make it out of your mouth before she's pulling out a scepter topped by an orb larger than your head. "With pleasure!" she roars with dark glee, launching a barrage of fireballs. All around her, monsters instinctively flinch away from the flames exploding well above their heads (or whatever they've got instead). "Have at thee!"

In moments, the entire forest has gone from green to a hellish orange glow of a rampaging blaze, and you're surrounded by crackling towers of blazing firewood pouring out clouds of black smoke. It's more than enough to disorient anyone, let alone Gamindustri monsters and adventurers like yourself, but Shovel Knight's apparently gotten pyromania down to an art- neither of you are in immediate danger of burning to a crisp, and you've got some time to double-time it away from the forest.

(Cont.)
>>
>>41923203
That's not what your plan is, though.

Still kneeling, you bare your teeth in a feral grin, pull your fingers out of the dirt, and let nature take its course. All around you, branches and leaves and trunks burn at different rates, some of the older and more stable trees standing stubbornly against their doom, but soon enough-

>Something on the surface has collapsed!

The first tree suddenly snaps in half, its trunk plummeting straight down as if someone opened a trapdoor beneath its roots. Thick branches hurtle through the air at punishing speeds and demolish a small group of dogoos, and then they just keep /going/, punching through the hard-packed dirt like it's glass. The resulting cave-in sucks even more monsters down, plunging them into the underground realm and burying them under tons of deadly dust and suffocating earth.

And that's just the start.

>Something on the surface has collapsed!
>Something on the surface has collapsed!
>Something on the surface has collapsed!

All around you, trees shatter and their fragments become deadly flaming projectiles, slamming through the ground at speeds normally reserved for speeding bullets. Clustered as they are, all the monsters waiting to fight you stand no chance; they're knocked back by the explosions of dirt and finished off by branches and shards of tree trunks large enough to be called wood logs. The crackling flames drown out the gurgles and shrieks and chiptune yelps of random encounters coming to an abrupt end.

Soon enough, you and Shovel Knight are standing on a small unharmed pillar of dirt in the middle of a pockmarked crater, surrounded by the aftermath of a raging forest fire and absolutely nothing else. The blue-armored knight looks at the devastation and lets loose a low whistle. "You do not give yourself enough credit. This looks /quite/ cunning to me."

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41923221
Luck, you grunt in reply, gingerly picking your way across the ruined forest floor. Luck that Arfoire hasn't seen fit to fuck with the coding of Leanbox, and luck that you didn't reduce the entire forest to a canyon large enough to grab the attention of all the wrong people.

"Having to climb back up a canyon would have caused us no small amount of difficulty, too," Shovel Knight says dryly.

...

"... you did not take that into account, did you."

L-Look, all's well that ends well, right? Besides, you would've figured something out. Probably.

The conversation continues on in that vein as you continue on to the dungeon- and soon enough (without getting molested by any more random encounters, thank the fucking god(desse)s), you're both standing right outside what looks like an abandoned robotics factory, standing out like a sore thumb in the midst of Leanbox's green pastures.

... except you're not the only one there.

Quick as a flash, you conceal yourself behind a nearby tree; Shovel Knight does the same, and you're a little thankful that you're not the only one here who's got a paranoid streak a mile wide. But there's clearly someone- someTHING- walking around just inside the dungeon entrance, judging by the quiet footfalls you hear: boots against metal.

[ ] [WAIT] Keep quiet and wait to see if this mysterious person reveals herself (because let's be frank: it's Gamindustri, it's probably a 'herself' if it's anyone important).
[ ] [BUM RUSH] Because a great offense is a great GET BENT YOU ASSHOLE.
[ ] [SIDESTEP] Go find another entrance into the dungeon. You don't have time; besides, it's best not to attract too much attention to yourself.
[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
>>
>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
>[] [CAT] Send a cat to scout
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.

Time for FUN!
>>
>>41923270
>>[] [CAT] Send a cat to scout

Lets send 2 cats in!

This is likely a BAD idea.
>>
>>41923247
>[X] [CATSPLOSION]
>>
>>41923247
>[DIBS] Just run into the dungeon, whether it's past or THROUGH her doesn't matter.
>>
>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
Well hey, maybe Urist isn't completely dumb ideas
>>
>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
>>
>>41923247
>[ ] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
>>
>>41923247
>[X] [THERAPIST] Queue up your handy-dandy mental organizer-slash-telepathy thing. See if it's anyone you know before you do anything rash.
>[X] [WRITE-IN] If it's not a friend, walk brazenly inside like you belong, and in the event it's an enemy announce loudly "Did someone order a distraction?" in the case it's not a known enemy, walk in like you own the place and start ordering them around to secure the dungeon front before you head deeper in to confuse them and hopefully distract them from distracting you from your quest.
>>
>>41923247
I don't have any idea of what it could entail, but I just want to say
>[THERAFIST]
>>
>>41923247
>[] therapist
>[] cat scout
>>
>>41923934
something something tantrum
>>
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>>41923247
>[X] [THERAPIST]

For a moment, you tense as you're caught between the usual fight-or-flight instincts- is it a monster? Is it an adventurer? Is it a monstrous adventurer who wants you as dead as a forgotten beast made entirely of snow?

It's the heavy gauntlet-clad hand on your shoulder that snaps you out of your thoughts, and it's enough to break you out of your funk. "Whoa! Urist, hold on. Talk to me," Shovel Knight says quietly. "Let me know if we're jumping into something BEFORE you go out on your own."

You take a deep breath and rock back on your heels. That's right. You're not COMPLETELY full of dumb ideas anymore. Thanks; you needed that.

Shovel Knight shrugs. "Ah, but it's the least I could do for a fellow adventurer, and a party member besides! And you /are/ technically my senpai."

That's enough to make you stare for a moment. You... okay, so between the classic way she moves and all the old-school tricks she's got stuffed up her sleeves, you'd always pegged her as a veteran from at /least/ the 16-bit era, if not farther back. Sure, she'd called ROKKO her senior and her inspiration, but more than half of Gamindustri could claim that, too!

The blue-armored knight shifts, something about her body language striking you as more than a little embarrassed. "Most adventurers are older than I am," she admits; without her gruff Ye Olde Adventurer bluster, she sounds astonishingly young. Younger than Mojang, definitely. And...

You size her up again, this girl taller than Estelle and maybe built like a truck. You're not going to lie, you're REAL curious what you'll find underneath all that ridiculously heavy armor. It's a given you'll find a close-combat monster who can wield a shovel with all the skill of a master surgeon's scalpel, but if it's someone who ought to be yelling "oneechan!" and drinking milk by the gallon because she wants to grow up big and /big/-

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41924065
You shake your head. Right. First things first. You reach out with Therapist and ping the immediate area around you, looking for anyone who's either been in a party with you before or is open to doing so. Right off the bat, there's Shovel Knight sitting next to you, and traces of Exey in the area (what?).

And there's Ein, standing right at the entrance of the dungeon in front of you.

You come up from your little Therapist-induced trance just in time to hear her talking to someone else in a low voice. There's the sound of fading footsteps- someone delving into the dungeon?- but Ein continues standing at the entrance of the dungeon, just out of sight. You can't tell which way she's facing, but chances are she's watching the outside.

... right. This changes things up a little.

[ ] [APPROACH] No more sneaking around. Go see what Ein's up to, and maybe chat her up a little. Maybe you can have her help you out a little on this dungeon run, or vice versa.
[ ] [REROUTE] Find another way in. You don't want to get in Ein's way, and you sure don't want Ein to get in yours. Besides, you'd rather not listen to her long-winded speeches again.
[ ] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?
[ ] [SHADOWRUNS] Why the hell is Ein here? As far as you know, there's nothing here for her, and especially not when Leanbox is in so much fucking danger.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [APPROACH] No more sneaking around. Go see what Ein's up to, and maybe chat her up a little. Maybe you can have her help you out a little on this dungeon run, or vice versa.

>[ ] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [SHADOWRUNS] Why the hell is Ein here? As far as you know, there's nothing here for her, and especially not when Leanbox is in so much fucking danger.
This does seem kinda suspect
>>
>>41924085
[ ] [REROUTE] Find another way in. You don't want to get in Ein's way, and you sure don't want Ein to get in yours. Besides, you'd rather not listen to her long-winded speeches again.

[ ] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>41924085
>Talk to her on Therapist while we
>[REROUTE]
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [REROUTE] Find another way in. You don't want to get in Ein's way, and you sure don't want Ein to get in yours. Besides, you'd rather not listen to her long-winded speeches again.
>>
>>41921517
>>41921735
What about Tessie?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bEOfzPitP9g
>>
>>41924085
>[X] [APPROACH] No more sneaking around. Go see what Ein's up to, and maybe chat her up a little. Maybe you can have her help you out a little on this dungeon run, or vice versa.
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [APPROACH] No more sneaking around. Go see what Ein's up to, and maybe chat her up a little. Maybe you can have her help you out a little on this dungeon run, or vice versa.
Ain't got no time for anymore clever shit, what's she doing here and where's Estelle?
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?
>>
>>41924085
>[ ] [APPROACH] No more sneaking around. Go see what Ein's up to, and maybe chat her up a little. Maybe you can have her help you out a little on this dungeon run, or vice versa.
>>
>>41924085
>[X] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?

I agree, carpeting the landscape in furry creatures that spam you with interruption messages is definitely a form of scouting.
>>
If this is THAT FUCKING FACTORY, I will hunt you down.
>>
>>41924392
The one with all the destroyer things?
.... send in the cats
>>
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>>41924085
>[ ] [CAT SCOUTS] Summon 2 cats. Send them in. What's the worst that could happen?
>>
Say, are trees in Dorf Fort full of explosives?
>>
Everyone knows things explode when they are on fire.
>>
I feel this is as good a time as any to remind everyone that the Gameindustri Geneva Conventions probably frown on converting cute things into thermonuclear weapons.

Hell, we're probably in enough shit already after the oxcart incident.
>>
>>41924875
Meh
>>
>>41924833
My dad used to fight fires, and he tells of burning trees that burn out on the inside and from the bottom, held up by other trees by their branches. They go off like bombs.
>>
>>41924875
The Gamindustri Geneva Conventions stop applying if you either are helping the goddesses by breaking the rules, or have killed all the goddesses before breaking the rules.
>>
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>>41925041
>>
>>41925056
>this triggers the nepgen
>>
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>>41925080
>>
>>41925080
Love how after CH saying repeatedly "we shouldn't have done that" the fanbase still treats Nepgear as a potential pantheocide.
>>
>>41925126
What's this about now?
>>
>>41925126
Maybe she shouldn't have killed all her friends in the place then.
>>
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>>41925182
Neptunia 2 conquest ending
>>
>>41925182
The worst possible end for HDN Mk2, where Nepgear has to kill all of the other goddesses, including Neptune to power up a sword to kill Arfoire.

The scenes are... disturbing.
>>
>>41925319
Eech
>>
>>41924085
>[X] [APPROACH]
>[X] [CAT SCOUTS]

Ein. Miss Final Fantasy herself, here in Leanbox, dungeon delving just like anyone else. And you're on reasonably friendly terms with her- she's one of the few people who didn't shriek in horror when she took your offered drink of 1000% alcohol- AND she goes way back with Estelle, your surrogate big sis. Even if they're not exactly on the best of terms.

With Arfoire and her underlings out at large, and the threat of another Console War looming on the horizon, Ein would be a helluva strong adventurer to have on your side right about now.

Still, you'd feel safer with a backup plan in place.

So you summon up two cats and send them scampering off toward the dungeon; they disappear into the undergrowth, seeking a different entrance in (and reducing the vermin population while sharply increasing the kitten population along the way). Shit. Was it only recently that doing this took you straight out of commission for most of the day?

Shovel Knight watches all this with interest. Now that you know that she's younger than you or Mojang, a few other things click- like how she's been pretty willing to go along with your plans, no matter how ridiculously harebrained. Reminds you a little of Mojang back when the two of you were starting out and how she'd trust your judgment on most things, to be honest.

"Another cunning plan, Urist?" Shovel Knight seems real damn excited at the prospect. Maybe she thinks your answer to everything is to set it on fire.

She wouldn't be WRONG about that, but you shake your head anyway. No, it's cool- whoever's there is friendly, as far as you can tell. It's Ein. You've met her before.

There's a sudden intake of breath from your party member, and her eyes probably widen. "No way. Final Fantasy herself, here in Leanbox? Why, she's almost as much of a legend as the Blue Bomber!"

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41925368
... okay, while Shovel Knight's taste in role models is refreshingly clear-cut, maybe she should lay off putting it like that while you're all talking to Ein, okay?

"Ah, so we shall be approaching her, then? Lead on, Urist!"

You shake your head as you step out of the foliage and make your way toward the dungeon- not that you can mistake the place for anything else. Damn place looks like a factory, except factories aren't half-buried rust-eaten metal carcasses with ivy growing all over the place. And most factories- the not evilly terrifying ones, at least- don't turn out horrible robotic monsters for adventurers to fight on a regular basis.

Ein spots you immediately, of course. You only spot her when she steps out of the dungeon's gaping doorless maw- and she looks like she's been put through the wringer coming and going. Her chocobo-yellow hair's mussed, exhaustion's stenciled into her taciturn features, and what little clothing she has looks like it's suffered considerable damage. For once, Ein's clothing is perfectly symmetrical, mostly because she's missing that ridiculous shoulder guard that's usually on her left arm.

She's also got a gigantic two-handed bastard of a bastard sword out, and it's pointed straight in your direction in a one-handed grip.

The two of you stare each other down for a good few seconds, neither of you moving a muscle. You can FEEL Shovel Knight's incipient panic attack behind you, and hear her making a small terrified sound in the back of her throat as she looks between the two of you.

To be perfectly honest, you wish you could give voice to the same damn emotion yourself.

(Cont.)
>>
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>>41925395
"Layer upon layer, obscuring the predetermined path of the Goddess," Ein intones, not a hint of emotion flickering behind those mismatched eyes of hers. "Heaven's fate hangs on the moment of truth; shall we Warriors of Light heed the clarion call of justice, or shall we be engulfed by the tides of war? Has the Dragon Warrior dragged others into the ranks of chaos?"

It's that last sentence that jumps out and grabs you. Okay, no, there's seriously no goddamn way she's implying what you think she's implying-

In response, Ein's free hand lashes out, and you flinch back instinctively- but a flash of gold clatters at your feet, shining defiantly in the sun. It's a golden circlet, clearly an inspired masterwork of the ages, set with ancient gems and covered in splashes of bright-red blood and-

- it's Estelle's circlet.

You barely hear Ein's voice over the blood rushing in your ears, and you feel her gaze boring into the top of your head, but you can't stop staring at the remnant of your surrogate big sister. "Has the Dragon Warrior dragged others into the ranks of chaos?" she repeats.

[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
[ ] [DESTROY HER] What the HELL has Ein DONE!?
[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
Oh right, Blanc was a fake and Estelle came to help her. Stuff must have happened.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
NEE-SAN!
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
I'm guessing Estelle was attacking Blanc (AKA Arfoire) and Ein misunderstood. Try to set the record straight by explaining Arfoire's been impersonating people.

Key word being 'try'.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?
>>
>>41925423
>[X] [WRITE-IN] "Alright, so I assume that 'dragged into the ranks of chaos' means that Estelle has fallen to the foe, then? We kind of picked up that she was rushing to help someone who'd turn out not to actually be the person she thought it was. You know, taking the forms of others and such. So no, I haven't fallen to chaos. Now please tell me you didn't outright murder her or something for what was either a misunderstanding or a form of manipulation?"
>[DRINK]
>>
>>41925423
>[X] [GRILL HER] What the hell has Ein done?

DO NOT GRILL HER WITH FIRE.

Use words. Grill her with words. NOT FIRE.
>>
>>41925661
Fire is an acceptable method of extracting information in the present circumstances
>>
>>41925731
Acceptable, perhaps, but sub-optimal. We can resort to fire when more productive options have been eliminated.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Explain on the way!
There's a Blanc fake and Green Heart fake running around, courtesy of Arfoire. What's this all about.
>>
>>41925423

[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
>>
>>41925423
>[ ] [INTO THE DUNGEON] Rush past Ein. Get to your big sis.
>>
>>41925731
It's not that, I'm just worried that we may cause some kind of Fatal Existence Error by forcing Ein into contact with !!Exclamation Marks!!
>>
>>41925795
Nonononono
Not that kind of fire
The other kind
The rising kind
>>
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>>41925423
>[X] [INTO THE DUNGEON]

Looking back on this moment, it's pretty fucking incredible that you don't launch yourself at Ein and make a spirited attempt to rip her throat out with your teeth. Still, all that horrified adrenaline has to go SOMEWHERE, and it finds an outlet in the split-second decision made entirely by your panicked scream of your big sis's name.

Still, Ein's one of the oldest veterans in Gamindustri, and she's got reflexes faster than anything you could ever attain. Your forward lunge is cut short by her sword swinging right into your path, and you come face to face with your own reflection in the gleaming metal. "The right of entry is not one that is lightly given," the Warrior of Light says quietly. "Loyalty to a misguided friend is understandable, but GMPH-"

You'll never forget the sight of Shovel Knight's trademark weapon slamming into Ein's face with enough force to send her staggering into the wall. "Go, Urist!" she roars, gripping her shovel tightly enough to make the metal creak. "I shall delay this charlatan! Go find the Dragon Warrior!"

... even as she says this, her knees are shaking. And Ein's pushing herself off the wall already, barely affected by the blow.

[ ] [TO THE DUNGEON] Take Shovel Knight up on her offer. Young as she is, she's your ally; give her the respect she deserves, and pay her back later. Besides, Estelle needs your help even more right now.
[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
[ ] [HELL NO] Let's face it- Shovel Knight doesn't stand a chance against someone like Ein, and you NEED answers from the Warrior of Light. Stand by your party member and work this out with some goddamn violence.
[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>
>>41926204

[ ] [TO THE DUNGEON] Take Shovel Knight up on her offer. Young as she is, she's your ally; give her the respect she deserves, and pay her back later. Besides, Estelle needs your help even more right now.
[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
[ ] [SUMMON] Summon something(s) to keep her delayed.
>>
>>41926204
>[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
Say all of this out loud
>>
>>41926204
>[ ] [TO THE DUNGEON] Take Shovel Knight up on her offer. Young as she is, she's your ally; give her the respect she deserves, and pay her back later. Besides, Estelle needs your help even more right now.
>Summon some shit to give her a hand.
Oh man Shovel Knight is a real fucking bro
>>
>>41926204
[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
>>
>>41926204
>[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
She's a brave one, but we can't go leaving kohais behind, I'll second dropping some summons on Ein to keep her behind a bit
>>
>>41926204
>>41926253
Good thinking

>[ ] [COME ON] You're thankful for Shovel Knight's selflessness and all, but you NEED her by your side to face down whatever the dungeon's got to offer and whoever else is in there now. Mojang needs that medicine.
>[ ] [SUMMON] Summon something(s) to keep her delayed.
>>
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Right, it's 2 am and I need to be up in short order, so I'll have to end the thread here for the night! The winning choices are:

>[X] [COME ON]
>[X] [SUMMON A DISTRACTION]

So we'll pick up with them in the next thread, which'll be on Wednesday, the 19th, starting at about 8:30-ish pm EST (heavy emphasis on the -ish)! As usual, updates will be at https://twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go here or ask.fm/BlorpQuest (a little backlogged right now).

Thanks for participating, guys, and I hope you enjoyed the thread. See you next time!

...... aaaaand the bonus scene will be posted next thread!
>>
>>41926560
Thanks for the thread Blorp!

See you whenever you run again
>>
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>>41926560
>...... aaaaand the bonus scene will be posted next thread!
>>
>>41926560
Is Shovel too underaged to drink?

How many casts of Aura does Ein have?
>>
>>41926560
>...... aaaaand the bonus scene will be posted next thread!
Who was it again?
>>
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Minor housekeeping:
- I'm probably going to retcon Elda's name into either Tessa, Tessie, or just plain Tess.


>>41926597
>pic related


>>41926637
>Is Shovel too underaged to drink?
The entirety of Gamindustri is like Schrodinger's Drinking Age or something: either everyone is old enough to drink, or no one is. Because anime, and everyone looks 10.

... but yeah, she probably is.

>How many casts of Aura does Ein have?
As many as she needs!


>>41926667
>Who was it again?
Urist and Mojang's early-game shenanigans, part 3!
>>
>>41926714
>Minor housekeeping:
It wouldn't be the first time Urist has messed up a name!
>>
>>41926714
>As many as she needs!
>Infinite EXE Attacks
perhaps this course of action was not wise.
>>
>>41926726
But it sure as shit is right
>>
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>>41926714
>>
>>41926560
>>[X] [COME ON]
>>[X] [SUMMON A DISTRACTION]
Hype, we can't go leaving little sisters behind to fight overpowered whosits.

Geez we're gonna turn into Estelle if we keep this up.
>>
>>41926723
I don't honestly recall, but I think Exey may have been the one to call her that first.

But hey, she doles out code names on a regular basis, so between that and Urist's memory issues, I've got enough wiggle room!


>>41926756
jesus fucking christ


>>41926807
this quest is little sisters all the day down

imoutoception

i don't know if i'm doing something wrong or doing something right
>>
>>41926868
Make "Elda" say that she doesn't like it as a nickname because it makes her sound old.
>>
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>>41926868
Would we see TF2?
>>
>>41926940
>I don't have time to explain, but I need you to give me all the hats you have, right now.
>>
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>>41927046
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>>41927080
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>>41927097
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>>41927108
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>>41927132
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>>41927141
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>>41921957
anydice says getting at least 85 in one of 3 d100 has a chance of 40%

So no, it’s not really hard, though it is more likely to fail than succeed.
>>
>>41926756
sauce? I need it for... science.
>>
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>>41930560
http://exhentai.org/g/646356/b2fa76836e/



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