Your party has slayed the dragon. It has been a long quest to retrieve the princess in the dragons keep. You find her...but somethings not right.the dragon has turned the princess to pure gold!The party gathers round to formulate the next part of the plan.The rogue speaks up. "Why not sell it? Should net us a fortune."What do?
>>42084350All loot is shared equally; so naturally hack the statue up and divide by wieght
>>42084350>What do?Which setting? If it's most of what I play selling the statue would be for the best.
>>42084365As the party paladin, I politely disagree. We should find a way to turn her back. If anything, the adoration of a kingdom is worth it.
Animate, turn into sex golem.
>>42084350>"Please don't sell me."
>>42084350So is she solid all they way through cause if so she no longer has internal organs. If that is the case we failed the quest but hey we got either a fuck ton of gold or a very interesting conversation piece.
"No we're not selling her. No I don't care if the money we would make would set us up for life. I don't care if the nearest merchant is closer than the capital. And I especially don't care if any of you freaks disagree with me. Now help me carry her, she's a heavy one."
>>42084400To clarify:>The quest has not changed, and you must still return the Princess to her home country, but now you must defending her from the slew of people who would literally kill all of you to get their hands on a solid gold golem, the party rogue potentially included.
>>42084442Alright we take her to her home country and sell her their then we succeed in the quest and our reward is already taken care of saving the king a ton of trouble of having to fetch one.
where did the extra mass come from?
>>42084350How viable would it be to fabricate some kind of mold before returning the princess, so that we could make our own fortune selling cast metal princess statues?
The party uses her as an on a hole.Afterwards they make a mold of her and sell replicas to the nobles around the country.
>>42084350"Of course we sell her, she's basically dead anyways."
>>42084350Assuming we're playing a general fantasy game? Whack the rogue player, continue formulating proper rescue plan.But since my current party is playing Shadowrun, we run some calculations to see which option will give us the biggest pile of nuyen, and go for that.
>>42084502"it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit."
>>42084350I try to figure out if she is still alive and if she can see and hear.In order to perpetuate my fetish, I make up some moral bullshit story of how it was the princess that slew the dragon but that the sacrifice of turning herself into pure gold. I then bring her back to the kingdom, conscript a person to build a large marble platform in the middle of town and make her the centerpiece. I then present the king his new daughter and tell him of the story of her sacrifice and how she wanted her body placed to where her people would need her. She said that she heard a message from god that her new body would act as divine symbol to protect the denizens of the capitol. (I would also conscript a mage or a cleric who don't know of the situation to bless her body to boost morale of the soldiers defending the city from attacks)Hopefully the king buys my martyr story and allows her to stay like that. Now the princess will forever be adored and even worshiped by the public mass for all eternity, and my family will forever be keeping her well maintained.If she cannot see or hear, then that kind of defeats the purpose and I try and find a way to turn her back.
>>42084598>using a solid metal onaholeThis does not sound pleasurable. Also it requires her nether lips to be spread when she turned to gold to allow enough space.
>>42084722That's a cute gorgon. Isn't she supposed to have boar tusks and be really ugly?
>>42084350Is ~120 pounds of pure gold enough to ruin an economy?
>>42084350Wait two days for the Polymorph any Object to wear off, or just dispel it if we can't be bothered waiting.Possibly leave her as a statue on the way back as she wont be as complainy that way, actually, fuck it. We can teleport at this point. Change her back, go collect reward.
>>420847576,000 gp in D&D/Pathfinder
>>42084757>>42084792She will of course be much more massive than that. But your not going to break high-fantasy economy with that much gold.
>>42084598Even your micropenis would not fit.
Return it to King and offer to go on a new quest to find a cure, for double the reward money.
>make the rogue sell her>wait for the polymorph to wear off>rescue the shit out of her>rake in profit
>>42084757So, around 60L of gold at about 19kg/L, that's 1140kg and about $40,000,000 USD. In a D&D setting, it would completely tank multiple markets, unless you cut her up and sell her off slowly over the course of your lifetime.
>>42084350Find out how the dragon bid it so I can work out if it can be undone and let the king know my findings (undo the spell if I can before telling the king just in case)
>>42084926Or trade with the rich/wizards. Never make deals with wizards.
>>42084938You can't make deals with wizards because you have nothing they want or need. You're not trying to sell a freezer to an Eskimo, you're trying to sell steak knives to a being that can sodomize the laws of causality on a whim. The only thing you have that a wizard would be interested in is ideas, and half of them can just suck those out of your head with a prepared spell. The other half have wands.
I'm surprised no one wants to travel around with a sentient goldlem princess.
>>42084350Contact the king via sending and inform him of the change in circumstances. We renegotiate our fee to that of at least the value of the Princess's current weight in gold, plus an additional fee to compensate for the danger inherent in lugging a human sized chunk of gold across the country side instead of just an easily disguised flesh woman. Once the princess is safely returned to the castle and we've been payed for the first job we can talk about turning her back to normal.If the king fails to accept, we sell the big chunk of gold. If he does we dispatch some party members to acquire either a bag of holding with sufficient capacity to carry the goldified princess or a scroll of teleportation. That is to say if we do not already have a magic user in our party capable of such a spell. Even if we came into this totally broke the dragon's horde should more than cover the cost of a mid grade bag of holding or a single spell scroll and we make it back to the king with relatively low risk. We can decide before we teleport or when we're within the vicinity of the castle as to whether or not the king can be trusted to hold up his end of the bargain. If so we simply bring the princess to him, if not we arrange a safer exchange away from the city and the majority of the king's guard/army.
>>42084998That is a damn fine point I had not considered.Also that's now my next character.
>>42084998She weighs over a tonne and will be the target of bandits and entire kingdoms CONSTANTLY. You would need to sell most of her lower torso just to afford travelling with her.
>>42085063>She weighs over a tonne and will be the target of bandits and entire kingdoms CONSTANTLY.Uh, 1 pound of gold = 50 gpThat's not worth THAT much.
>>42084926Aprox. 125,000 gp. You would need several solid gold princess to make up the totoal treasure for a dragon powerful enough to cast polymorph any Object (Wyrm Red Dragon).
>>42085102You don't think people would hunt, plot and kill for over 125,000 gp?
>>42085063Yet with a few shillings of green paint she's suddenly just an ugly statue.
Could someone in the party not just cast (Greater) Dispel Magic or Break Enchantment?
>>42085149That'd be an awkward conversation to have with a passing traveller that sees you reapplying the paint to all her joints.
>>42085135Well the Aprox. 600,000 gp worth of Dragon horde is probably more attractive. Actually at this point the fighters sword is quite possibly worth more than Princess Midas.
>>42084926Vastly incorrect. D&D books give conversion rates for pounds of gold to gold pieces. According to 3.5 one pound of gold is worth about 50 gold pieces. Since everything is already in imperial units I'll just go through the converstions there. We can expect the princess's volume to be maybe 2.3 cubic feet, which is about 2774 pounds gold which is worth about 139,000 gold pieces. This is a lot of gold for sure, but I don't think it would unreasonable to come by for an especially wealthy fellow, after all in D&D there are magic floating about with ten times that value.
>>42084350>What happened? Where is the princess?>Playing her golden harp m'lord
>>42085202Except you're working under the assumption that mass gold finds like this are common, which OP suggests is not the case, what with this being the topic of an entire thread. The scarcity of gold might not be all that bad, but unloading all that gold at once, or even spread out over a city? That market for gold is completely saturated.
>>42084350It's ok she is just plastered with gold Dragon spunk, turned to solid gold what a silly idea.
>>42085149"Aaaaaand... Done!""Wonderful! How do I look?""Alphonse, what did you DO?!""Isn't it obvious! I painted the Princess! It's a disguise!""It was my idea!"You!? You're both mad if you think anyone is going to be fooled by this!""I think I've done fine work! Yes, it wasn't as easy as painting the barn back home but...""She looks like a harlequin!""I've never done a Kaiden's makeup before! ""... I think I'd like a mirror please, Alphonse...""She's pale as a ghost and you gave her pink blush circles!""It's endearing!""I think I really would like that mirror now.""She'll be fine as long as she keeps her cloak on and her hood up! Besides this paint cost a lot and will be impossible to take off!""Perhaps this wasn't my very smartest idea...""No kidding!"
>>42085867I'd make the players make a few checks or make a short roleplay segment out of tracking down a buyer, but at the point were they could have defeated this dragon, they have the resources to pawn it.About half way through this, if they insisted on it without checking anything else about the statue, is when I would have the spell wear off.
>>42084724It's magic gold, still pliable like her flesh was
>>42084899>she's melted down into gold bars before the spell can expire
>>42086665...does the spell still turn her back after being melted down? Because I would do that with something like a cow, then stalk the recipient and watch as they turn back into bars of chunky, bloody viscera in their hands.
>>42084502>where did the extra mass come from?>>42084713>"it's magic, I ain't gotta explain shit."...Would she keep the extra mass if turned back into flesh?>>42086109Actually pure gold is pretty damn pliable anyways...
>>42086922>Would she keep the extra mass if turned back into flesh?No
>>42084926Where the fuck did you get 60 liters from? Pints? Go from pounds to kilograms smart.
>>42084722>Hopefully the king buys my martyr story and allows her to stay like that.Remove the limbs so that it's just a bust of the torso and head, telling him the rest was damaged by the fight with the dragon.
>>42084350Who the fuck is going to handle over a ton of gold princess, ask no questions, and has 100k of gold pieces to spare? What happens if the spell wears off suddenly and there is just a slab of princess flesh right there all over you?If this universe has spells that turn arbitrary objects into their volume in gold, then gold (or at least gold created by this method) must be pretty worthless anyway. Sure, be edgy, but this plan is dumb.
>>4208697160L is would be an approximate volume for, what I'm assuming, is a smaller, thinner woman. The density of the human body isn't uniform and I doubt there are scales available to weigh her. I went with the easier option of just submerging her in water and determining her volume, then using the density of gold to find her total mass.
>>42087151I think the spell is permanent, and the magic to do it highly rare.
>>42084722>YFW you do all this but just before you leave her on her stand you hear her faintly whisper that the dragon's spell didn't leave her inanimate
>>42086842>The spell is perminant>But she remains aware and can feel/see everything even in pieces>Any part that was once her's she can still control/animate
>>42087592>She puts herself back together>Becomes an immortal flesh golem of vengence
>>42087719>Spell is permanent>Becomes an immortal gold golem of vengeanceFixed
>>42087592>The gold is melted down and cast into commemorative Princess Mida coins that get circulated around the kingdom, each one able to exert a portion of the Princess' will on the populace, slowly and subtly directing the course of the kingdom into the future.
>>42087592>>42087719>>42087771Assuming she was melted down (and due to the spell this didn't kill her), what all do you think she'd be used to make?
>>42087828I noticed thatAnd just coins would be boring though
>>42084350I smack the rogue across the head for both reminding me how much of a shortsighted dumbass he is and for speaking out of turn. We have to consider our reputation for getting the job done first and foremost: nobody's going to hire a mercenary that only does jobs halfway or that betrays their employers. Secondly, if we betray the king he'll send other merc crews after us. So we won't be able to properly enjoy that "fortune" even if his estimates are correct. Thirdly, he doesn't get a cut for sharing his dumbass ideas. He gets his cut for doing his fucking job, and for following MY lead.Now what we SHOULD be doing is taking this statue back to the king in fulfillment of our contract, then re-negotiating said contract to include terms covering reversal of the curse that's on her. It's the king, he knows how this shit works.
I cast animate object on the princess. She is now technically alive, and able to follow us back out. I then return her to the kindgom and explain what happened, which conveniently enough allows my DM a plot hook to get us on our next adventure as we seek a way to undo the curse.
>>42084350>Your party has slayed the dragon.Correct tense would be slain.Or even correct word, since slayed doesn´t exist.
>>42084350A voice sounds from the entrance of the keep."Baby? You in there? What's that surprise you wanted to show me?"Upon closer inspection there is a message in draconic runes next to the statue, a schmaltzy love poem about the princess being worth more to him than her weight in gold.Good news: Princess is alive.Bad news: She's mad you killed her dragon bf.what do?
Since it isn't a curse, and is a permanent effect and so cannot be dispelled, I research the spell of Gold to Flesh to reverse it.
>>42085161BECAUSE MUH RAILS!
>>42087513That would be some hell of immovable discipline just to go through all that and not say or move a muscle. Nevertheless I assume that she wanted to stuck in that position after all that and become the glorified goddess of protection. She only moves when she wishes to protect the town or when she gets funky with my male or female protectorate descendants who must protect the idol at all costs.
>Yfw despite being a solid gold statue the princess is still aware and animate>Yfw a quick spellcraft check verifies she'd stay alive and aware even if melted down and reforged something/somethings else>Yfw she rather likes being like this and asks you to not try to fix her>Yfw she lets slip why the dragon turned her gold>Yfw he was going to melt her down and gold plate his dragon dick>Yfw she seems mildly disappointed you stopped him, but stil grateful to be saved>Yfw she mentions she saw a few rings of fire immunity in the hoard and she might be willing to part with a bit of herself as a gift to the brave adventurers who saved her if the promise to use most of it to gold plate a certain something of theirs
>>42084682Oh poor shadowrun. Still stuck in the fantasy world where Japan became relavent. At this point, the return of magic is one of the LEAST unbelievable pieces of that setting
>>42086109>It's magic gold, still pliable like her flesh wasThen absolutely no one is going to be fooled into buying her thinking she's gold
>>42089786It's only like that when said part is human shampedThis is because she still subconsciously thinks it should and animates herself to do so
>>42089934And what rulebook are you basing this off of?
>>42089497Call me crazy, but I'd rather not pour molten gold all over my dick, thanks.
>>42084350Sell her back to the king, problem solved.
>>42089948The same one that lets you turn someone to an animate solid gold statue, it's listed under rule 0
>>42089978She just pouts and asks the rest of the party
>>42089978>Maybe a solid gold codpiece instead?
>>42090049I was pretty sure I was the DM in this conversation.
>>42085185While the 600,000 gp is a more tantalizing number, it's guarded by a dragon. However, plodding around on the road is a golden statue worth 125,000 gp, accompanied by 4-5 wierdos. I think the 4-5 weirdos are an easier target. Juice is definitely with the squeeze.
>>42090114But then who was the player?
>>42085063>>42085102>>42085135ARE YOU ALL IN FUCKING GRADE SCHOOL!?A PERSON TURNED TO GOLD WILL NOT WEIGH THE SAME FUCKING POUNDAGE.125 LBS OF GOLD IS BARELY THE SIZE OF A HUMAN HEAD SHITFORBRAINS.VOLUME.NOT.MASS.MORONS.
>>42084350To fucking who? Who has the money to buy the goddamn princess, let alone a fucking gold statue too heavy to move for anyone not a goddamn titan?Let's assume the spell is permanent, and the only thing we can do is carve her up into gold pieces.Then what?How do we account for the princess suddenly vaporising?We'd be hunted down and killed when the king inevitably suspects foul play in his paranoia....How the hell did the dragon turn her into gold in the first place, anyways? If there's some sort of spell for that now, all we have to do is find it and not only can we find a way to undo the princess' curse, then we can also have gold forever.Boom, home free.We're heroes, we're rich, we're not being hunted down for murdering the princess over a short-sighted buck.Put that knife down or I'll... just put the knife down.
The bigger issue of getting her back to her father the king is how the fuck are we going to carry multiple tons of gold with only our pack animals (plus the TOO SWOLE TO CONTROL Pegasus of the Paladin), and that way too beefy barbarian of ours?
>>42090613>Should've brought a wizard.jpg
>>42090613>way too beefybarbarian carries it>DM: b-but it's too heavyfuck you
>>42090283You can't fucking read, mate.
>>42084350Wait, was just a princess turned to gold or was her clothes turned to gold?
>>42092719Whole shebang, statue style.
>>42093184>Not giving the party the chance to shoot themselves in the foot by having an animate and naked solid gold princess statue walk through the middle the capital city as they deliver her to the king
>>42092719>>42093184See OP's pic, just the princess
>>42084842We have an entire generation it seems who thinks adding -ed on the end makes it past tense. I want to shoot someone every time someone says "casted".
>>42093243>>42093267>Princess doesn't want to go home right away, instead wants to join the party on their adventures>Turns out her class is barbarian>Like full on "YOUR GUTS ARE HUGE!!! RIP AND TEAR!!! levels>Doesn't really notice how she tears through her frilly dresses or gets them absolutely soaked in gore until she calms down>Eventually just gives up on clothes entirely, she's a solid mass of magic metal (albeit soft metal), not much she has to worry aboutAnd that your highness, is why you found us traveling around with a solid gold, naked, animate statue of your daughter
>>42093576Did 5e keep the rules where magic items have increased hardness/hp? And if so which was it?I only ask because if that rule no longer applies then the princess may want to invest in some armor, due to gold being really soft as far as metals go.
>>42094616I think so, but I don't know what they are off the top my head
>>42096380Probably in the DMG. I'll check once I can dredge enough Care out of Give-a-Fuck bay
>>42084842To slay something can mean to kill it, or to amuse it. The past tense of the first meaning is slew, while the past tense of the second meaning is slayed.So it was an amused dragon!
>>42089497Why have some when I can have her all? Why not allow me to melt her all the way down so that I may forge her into some embracing armor and let me show her the world?
>>42096844Is that armor fucking hugging him?
>>42096870Who needs a hugbox when your armor does it for you?
>>42096908I'd ask who needs a hugbox in the first place, but I can think of a few people I've played with who could definitely benefit from one.
>>42096870I know there is a sentai series that has what can be described as waifu armor, but I can't remember what it was.
>>42096870>"Armor of Lautrec the Embraced, representing the goddess Fina's love. The goddess's arms wrap around it, as if to embrace the wearer."Yes. His patron deity / waifu is clingy like that.
How you obtained the quest hook is the important part. Were you in the capital city as the dragon crashed through the palace walls and took her in its talon and flew off into the distance? You grabbed your stuff and pursue for days before finding it's lair? Is it a well known dragon that usually keeps to itself so the populace was like, keep the fuck away from dragon mountain you retard, then the princess gets taken and you are the only ones insane enough to go before the king is able to muster his army to assault it? Has the princess been gone for a long time and you were the only ones resourceful enough to find the dragon and live?If the dragon had just been dead, you would bring the corpse back to the king, after safely preserving the body and getting all your loot secured, so that the kingdom may either attempt to resurrect her or give her a burial worthy of loyalty.Good characters wouldn't ever sell her if they could reasonably believe she could be saved. Lawful characters would not be able to justify their ownership of a transmuted corpse they were meant to save over the rights of the family to have it returned to them. A chaotic individual may not see any problem with breaking off an agreement/bounty for the potential to profit more, but could go either way regarding the hit to his reputation. Non stupid evil characters would weigh things by what they gain. In any action they stand to gain power, wealth, influence, comfort, or enjoyment. Should this girl slowly regenerate any gold that is broken off without the separated gold becoming dust, he may kill everyone just to own it. But could he turn down the potential influence he would gain by doing the right thing in this particular scenario? If he wasn't actively hated by the King, he risks being able to enter and leave the kingdom freely as well as any favor he may have garnered should he be known as DRAGONSLAYER and PRINCESS SAVER.
>>42085010In a lot of settings mortal settlements aren't going to have a bag of holding just laying around. Regardless of how much gold is in that dragons hoard; if there isn't a bag of holding in there getting a magic item is a quest in itself.
>>42096844>Yfw she seems a bit stunned and visibly flustered at your request >Yfw after a few moments she gets an inquisitive look on her face before looking you up and down and biting her lip as she eagerly nods in agreement but only if you'll agree to a few caveats>Yfw she asks to be enchanted for comfort so you don't need to wear anything under her and formfitting and skintight enough that you can't
>>42097474>Sentient armor>Unrestricted constant physical contact>Has an internal onaholeDamn it /tg/, sentient armors are now my fetish of the week.
>>42084390Bullshit, lad, you just want to fuck the princess.
>>42098952The wants of the body do not supercede the needs of the helpless. Get your mind out of the gutter. The last thing we need now is a beast in heat. We must figure out how we are going to transport and donate this treasure. After dispelling this enchantment on the princess of course.
>>42084350Shut the rogue up, push comes to shove, clobber him with divine gusto. This is why you only take the bilbo baggins-esque thieves with you, or if you can't cut it. Anyone who values money over restoring a life is a dirt bag. For Gods' sake we just earned an entire dragons hoard in treasure and the guy wants to sell a poor cursed girl who is already worth a literal king's ransom alive, the greedy fuck.
>>42084350"Shut Up Madeline, we were paid to rescue the Princess and the King will have our asses if we don't come back without her.""Finn, Archer, help me get her into the Bag of Holding. Maddie, hold it open."I really don't know how I ended up the Party Leader seeing as Finn is a Paladin but I'd like to think I'm doing a good job.
>>42099311What are you?
>>42099490Party composition is:Me: Half-Elf Warblade/BeguilerFinn: Human PaladinMaddie: Half-Elf Rogue/DruidArcher: Elven Swordsage/SorcerorIronically, I have the highest Intelligence and Charisma.
>>42099582Then I'd say you being Party Lead makes a lot of sense
>>42084792>6,000 gp in D&D/Pathfinderwhich means it is worth far far far far far more to just give her to the king so he can get his wizards working on a cure than melting her into coins.not to mention the whole "the king doesn't put a bounty on you"
>>42084350"Shit, ok, you two stay here and make sure nothing gets worse. I'll head into town and buy a wagon. Like a big wagon, so it can hide her, who we then take to the safe house so I can figure out some way to fix this cause this is past my abilities to fix. If I can't do it than we find someone who can and make sure they don't betray us."My character is CE as fuck.
>>42087151>If this universe has spells that turn arbitrary objects into their volume in gold, then gold (or at least gold created by this method) must be pretty worthless anyway. Sure, be edgy, but this plan is dumb.This is the most important bit of information.If the dragon can turn princess into gold, he can turn 5000 cattle into pure gold too to make a hueg fucking mountain of gold to sleep on. Gold is worthless because goddamn magic ruined the economy
>>42099790Well, that's assuming it's not a spell that requires some preposterous components and the dragon didn't just turn the princess to gold for shits and giggles. Who's to say the spell doesn't require an equal amount of gold?
>>42099754>My character is CE as fuck.what is CE about what you said so far?
>>42099845>Well, that's assuming it's not a spell that requires some preposterous components and the dragon didn't just turn the princess to gold for shits and giggles. Who's to say the spell doesn't require an equal amount of gold?Ok, that is a valid point. still with an entire hoard and her being a princess it is an incredibly bad idea to do anything but save herNow if the dragon was offered a peasant girl as a sacrifice and turned her into gold? then you have a moral dilema. (and a pretty weak one since you got an entire hoard)With princess the issues are:1. already filthy rich from hoard2. king pays best3. reciprocal violence if you screw him over4. reputation ruined if you betray your employerwith random pretty peasant only issue 1 remains
>>42088126You know, this sounds like a not half-bad premise for a fairy tale. You know, the type that usually has some peasant boy named Jack breaking the curse on the Golden Princess and winning her hand in marriage.
>>42099025Alright, listen man. You're a paladin and I'm a monk. We both love pushing around this "holier than thou," bullshit in different ways. But you and I both know that you think the king will arrange a marriage between you, the good Ser Knight, and his daughter if you bring her back.We already know the king's a fucker. We already know the princess hates him. We've been around the court for long enough to know this stuff, and we've been in the kingdom long enough to see what the king's rule has done. Economic inequality, widespread starvation, the works. We know the army is vastly more loyal to the princess than to the king. So.....You know what I'm thinkin' man, cause I'm thinking military coup.
>>42099846That situation would all be used as an attempt for personal profit. My character would attempt to marry the princess and if not that at least use the fame to help ascend into godhood. CE doesn't have to be stupid evil.
>>42099845And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm imagining a dragon who, to stave off boredom and satisfy his vanity, regularly does battle with adventurers. When some come along that particularly amused him, he captures them alive and sacrifices some small part of his hoard to keep them as trophies. Halls of gilded heroes, eternally standing vigil where they may witness the dragon's triumph over whatever other adventurers may come along to challenge him.
>>42100122>That situation would all be used as an attempt for personal profit. My character would attempt to marry the princess and if not that at least use the fame to help ascend into godhood. Marrying princess I can see from this situation. how would this relate to godhood though?>CE doesn't have to be stupid evil.Yea, I was thinking the same thing. But I was wondering why you were specifically commenting that you are CE when you describing doing pragmatic things that are not related to any alignment.Now I understand though, you were basically referring to the stereotype that only a good character would do your totally pragmatic actionsI am reminded of a quest in arcanum. A guy drops his wedding ring down a sewer grate and there is a giant rat over it so he can't get it. he offers to pay you 100 g for retrieving it. you go down, kill the rats, get the ring. now your choices. you can force him to pay 200g instead, this is a minor good act. you can sell it to him for the original 100g, that is a good act. or you can murder him for the evulz and then go sell the ring. the ring is only worth 30gyea, the evil choice in vidya that allow it is so dumb its annoying and shouldn't even be there
> OP hereThe dragon used a ritual that's only possible if the recipient is willing. It has to be a princess because who the fuck cares about a peasent?It's technically an enchantment. She's still alive, but on a different plane in stasis. She can't return to her body unless the working has been reversed.The spell itself can only turn living, willing, things into gold and can only be cast by an evil person. It's written on a solid gold tablet, while only being discernable through "read magic".(The dragon coerced the girl to be willing by threatening the lives of her family and people)
>>42100178>he captures them alive and sacrifices some small part of his hoard to keep them as trophies.since the premise was equal amount of gold before and after, then it isn't a sacrifice. statues of adventurers are worth more than coins>And now that I'm thinking about it, I'm imagining a dragon who, to stave off boredom and satisfy his vanity, regularly does battle with adventurers. When some come along that particularly amused him, he captures them alive and sacrifices some small part of his hoard to keep them as trophies. Halls of gilded heroes, eternally standing vigil where they may witness the dragon's triumph over whatever other adventurers may come along to challenge him.pretty badass and terrifying.
>>42100225Well, a sacrifice in the sense that adventurer statues probably aren't as comfy to sleep on as piles of coins.
>>42100213there is still not much of a moral dilemma here as per >>42099894>It has to be a princess because who the fuck cares about a peasent?that is the whole point. nobody cares about a peasant, so it is actually a test of morality.Seeing whether you chop up a princess into chunks is a test of stupidity. Your typical evil person would return her to the king.Seeing whether you chop up a peasant nobody cares about into chunks is a test of morality. You will get away with it scots free and only your conscious will bother you (or not bother you if you are immoral)
>>42100269>that is the whole point. nobody cares about a peasant, so it is actually a test of morality.typo, meant to say>that is the whole point. nobody cares about a peasant, so it isn't actually a test of morality.
>>42100208>how would this relate to godhood though?Using the powers of nobility/politics to be able to enlist help, access to royal tomes, ect.
>>42100269>Seeing whether you chop up a princess into chunks is a test of stupidity. Your typical evil person would return her to the king.>Seeing whether you chop up a peasant nobody cares about into chunks is a test of morality. You will get away with it scots free and only your conscious will bother you (or not bother you if you are immoral)Its amusing then how the vast majority of posters said they would melt her into coins, only a few people at the very end of the thread started to think about it with their brains
>>42088436Well, that makes the choice all that much clearer.Chop Her up, melt Her down, hotfoot it to the next Kingdom over, and have the bitch re-cast as simple gold coins. We all then retire in luxury and never speak of this act again.
>>42100083That doesn't change what we were contracted to do. I will not sully my honor by welshing on a deal. It matters not if the king wishes her to marry me. My heart belongs to another.We will bring the princess back. She knows not what is good for her. The king is king for a reason. Let us return her to her home. What right do we have to oversay the father? What would you do if someone sided with your daughter over you? Think, you fool.And besides all that. This horde doesn't belong to us. This dragon has been stealing and plundering from that kingdom for ages. Returning the wealth should stabalize the country.
>>42084502liches are powered by harnessing the power of flowing magic. specifiaclly they are unliving gateways to the elemental plane of negative magical energy which flows though them into the plane they happen to be on. maybe the dragon turned her into something simulat by the magic is comming from the elemental plane of gold
>>42100342Uh, no. As party rogue and accountant, that's not how finance works. Gold and jewelry are commodities and thus the same rules for commodities markets are applicable to them. Sudden flooding of the market leads to inflation, decreasing the value of the items inquestion and leading to further instability. and, as I'm sure you're aware, economic instability has a tremendous impact on political stability. Basically it's a direct, negative correlation. Also, I get your oath of honor and all that, but shouldn't your oath to protect the innocent come first? By allowing this military-enforced monarchy to continue, a non-constitutional monarchy at that, you are directly contributing to the oppression of these poor people. Besides, you know that as long as the princess is a gold statue, she's essentially dead for all intents and purposes. She's probably with her God right now. Is it even ethical to raise her just so she can be miserable and then act as a political tool in the King's arsenal? The old bat still has a few years left in him, and you know how fickle he is. Doubtful he'd keep any agreement he makes in the heat of the moment about making you his successor through marriage.
>>42084394This reminds me about when some anon posted about fucking Pink Gold Peach.
>>42084350>The rogue speaks up. "Why not sell it? Should net us a fortune."Whilst our Sorceress, Druid and Wizard are hard at work identifying the spell or spells used and working on counteracting it, the Cleric is questioning her sibling, the Rogue, to see if they have been replaced or are being controlled.A Necrophillia joke, though in bad tastes, would have been acceptable. But suggesting we sell the Princess and not revive her so they could sleep with her?Something is up here.
>>42101027>But suggesting we sell the Princess and not revive her so they could sleep with her?>Something is up here.rogue, not a bard
>>42084350Give it back to the king, and say, "my jobs done, she's your problem now."
>>42101063Tell that to the Rogue player in my group.
>>42084350>What do?Headbutt the rogue
>>42100342Alright, first off, I cut contact with my family years ago when I decided to live in the mountains to practice martial arts and get drunk with a bunch of like-minded individuals. If I stayed with my family, my mother would've nagged me into either a job as a bureaucrat or suicide, probably both.Second, I don't know if you guys have this here, but back home in the East, no one is "chosen by the Gods to rule," other than whoever sits in the throne, and that's currently the king of the steppe barbarians who's actually pretty smart. And he's really just a figurehead. The ministers do all the work, and they're chosen based on merit. Well, merit and bribery. There's a reason I became a monk.I will agree with you, though, man. This wealth belongs to the people, we'll give it back to them on the way back. Has the ranger started loading the wagon yet?
>>42100342listed to >>42100707you are going to totally ruin the economy. Also, how would you even find what belonged to whom? most of the treasures stolen involved eating the merchant he stole it from soon after so there isn't even a rightful person to return it to.
>>42101092He asks for proof this is his daughter
>>42101384Yes. Clearly the best solution is to divide up the gold amongst ourselves in order to protect the people from themselves. If we do that, the wealth will eventually 'trickle down' anyway. I call it 'Draegonomics'.
>>42089978"An unfortunate smelting accident,"
>>42102816Argh, too close to home anon. That hurt.
>>42102816>Yes. Clearly the best solution is to divide up the gold amongst ourselves in order to protect the people from themselves.Not from themselves, from the gold. If you release it as is you wipe out people's savings and retirement via hyperinflationAlso I didn't say you should keep it yourself, or rather, not the way you are suggesting. the best solution is to use a small portion of it to buy and setup a fake gold mine whose ownership is split among the party. then over the next 100 years or so slowly "mine" the gold, thus every year each party member would get 0.2% of the gold, making them very wealthy but preventing the massive damage of hyper inflation
>>42097474>Yandere, overtly clingly armor that doesn't want to be taken off.>implying I'm not into that, as long as I have means of ridding myself of filth that neither of us would want.
>>42106702>Implying after the first few times you take her off for cleaning she won't insist on you enchanting her with prestidigitation to keep both of you clean
>>42106702>>42106949>Implying that she won't just clean you herself and filth magically displaces itself.>>42098232>/tg/: Where new fetishes are discovered.
>>42107036That's what I was saying
>>42107036>>Implying that she won't just clean you herself and filth magically displaces itself.How would she do that if she's armor?
I'm curious, how many fa/tg/uys would play in a group if they knew another player would be playing an awoken golden princess statue?Let's assume that's the only info. provided by the GM when talking about it with the rest of the players
>>42098952Well , we could fuck the statue!t: Satyr-Bard
Sell her to some lonely rich idiot, tell him a bullshit about evil wizard that turned his perfect waifu into gold statue, let him hire us to broke the spell, then kidnap her in human state and demand ransom from both her father and her wannabe-husband.Seduce her and travel with her to the Free Island Pirate States. Give two polymorphed pigs for both ransoms.Presto.
>>42112072I'd give it a shotThough I would ask if I could play some stranger character concepts once I got a good feel for the setting/game
>>42099953After restoring the princess the king offers her hand in marriage to you and the bards sing of your exploits. The story is then passed down for generations as a fairy tale.This fairy tale is then referenced in a future campaign.
>>42112072Why not? There's a lot of fun that can be had with a character like that, and not just the "oh she's so wacky!" sort of fun.
>>42112552This, nothing wrong with players having a wacky and/or powerful character as long as all the party can have one.That's a bitchin' occasion to play one of the countless concpets /tg/ made me want to play.
>>42099676They're both 14.
>>42112308Give it a rest, Pygmalion. It's embarrassing.
>>42103896top fucking kek
>>42089978A CROWN FOR A KING
Anyone gonna post any other gold women?For Princess character inspiration?
>>42115801damn he looks really fucking manlymakes me jealous
>>42084757The human body has close to the same density as water. So figuring that the princess weighed roughly 120 pounds to begin with, that's equivalent to about 120 pints worth of water, since: "a pint's a pound, the world around". This online calculator http://www.aqua-calc.com/calculate/volume-to-weight tells me 120 US pints of gold weighs 2 418.5 pounds. Gold is a fuckload heavier than flesh. Gold is currently worth $1,128 per ounce. That puts the current value of that much gold at 43,640,064, over 43 million dollars.
>>42117691To put it in a more historical context, the Roman Aureus at the time of Julius Caesar contained 8.18 grams of gold. An aureus was worth 25 denarii. A denarius bought you about $20 worth of bread. So an aureus was worth about $500.There are 453.6 grams in a pound, and 1,097,031.6 in 2418.5 pounds. That's 134,111 aurei worth of gold. That gives us a value of $67,055,500. Of course, food was more expensive relative to other things back then ($20 would buy you less bread than other things), so that may be inflating the price a bit, and the general buying power of that much gold might not be far off from $43 million.
>>42117691>>42117975Gold is worth 50 gp a pound in D&D, you dumb fuck.
>>42085202I get 120,900 gp off the weight in >>42117691. Note that the weight of a gp isn't that much more than an aureus in >>42117975. Gold, however, is undervalued in D&D.
>>42118174A gp is, but I don't put too much stock in what is an encumbrance shortcut. I mean, it used to be 10 gp to a pound, which made size of those things ridiculous. So I think trying to determine value this way is like trying to determine the yield of starship weapons by doing the math on how much energy it would take to destroy an asteroid the size they shot. It's a special effect (or, in the case of gold piece weight, an accounting shortcut) and shouldn't be taken too seriously.Also, we don't know how pure gold pieces are. The aureus was pretty pure, but the denarius eventually got adulterated to the point where there was barely any silver in them at all. So who knows how much actual gold is an a gold piece?
>>42118458The fucking PHB for 3.5 and 5e both say that 1 pound of gold = 50 gp.Are you illiterate?
>>42118458>A gp is, but I don't put too much stock in what is an encumbrance shortcut.One pound of gold is literally listed as a trade good in the SRD.
Now now, everyone. Let's play this smart and discuss this in a calm, civilized manner,
>>42118174>>42118484You alright, man? Having a bad day? We can take break if you think that will help.
>>42084350I vote we just hack it up equally and sell for profit. I call the bust. and the Bust.
>>42118174Nobody said we were playing D&D, fucknut.
Animate Objects and Permanency.
>>42084350in order...1. convince the rogue that she's more valuable as a person than a statue2. find a way to change her back3. chair shot the DM if this leads into his magical realm
>>42119158May need awaken, or something to restore her former mind
>>42121767Who cares about that? I got a life sized gold statue of a hot princess to be my servant now.
>>42084350>the dragon has turned the princess to pure gold!>mfw I know someone whose fetish that is
>>42121767>awaken my princessImagine what a Pillar Woman made of gold can accomplish.>Transmutation>Voluntary Midas Touch>Regeneration
>>42086665>she turns into a gelatinous ooze once changed back
My Sorceress would relish the chance to study the curse in detail, picking away at the underlying magic till she found a reversal. She wouldn't even charge extra for this sans exorbitant material costs simply because she'd have another feather in her cap and she'd have yet even more ammo to use while boasting about herself being the single greatest magic user in existence. But as she's from a campaign where dragons have been extinct for hundreds of years, I'll go instead with my Barbarian who would hit the Rogue upside their head and ready the princess statue for transport back to the kingdom.
>>42084350Tell the paladin that we don't know how to break the spell, melt that shit down into more manageable(and more importantly unrecognizeable) parts, use small portion of the LOADSAMONEY we just made to ressurect the princess, everyone wins.
>>42124888>My Sorceress would relish the chance to study the curse in detail, picking away at the underlying magic till she found a reversal.Calm the fuck down, Daro'Xen. That's a person, not an experiment.
>>42127590Turning everyone into living gold statues would solve the little immunity issue
>>42122598All I'm hearing is a gold googirl/a sexy gold version of the liquid metal Terminator from Terminator 2
>>42127590She wasn't that heartless or obsessive. She also did care a lot about life and quality there-in.She was also extremely vain, aloof and generally considered herself above pretty much most the world and she'd never miss an opportunity to prove it as well.Like when she (Ok, a number of Clerics helped. A lot.) cured a previously incurable disease and taught everyone who had enough magical talent how to do the same. Thus ensuring that not only would 'Magic Smallpox' cease to be a problem in the world, that no one could exploit the sick out of money for a cure.And acted like she was the most horrible and insufferable bitch in all of existence the entire time. >>42128095I'm guessing it's a particular alien scientist from Mass Effect who's very much a 'science for science's sake' type of character.What's a Lorry, Captcha? All I'm seeing is utes.
>>42107036>>42128040Which would you prefer /tg/ armor waifu or liquid metal gold terminator waifu?
>>42122598Nothing, because it would just be an animated golden statue?
>>42131539>liquid metal gold terminator waifuDefinitely this.
>>42084350Teleport to the king, tell him his daughter is turned to solid gold, show the king for proof, wait for results.
>>42084350here's a picture for you
>>42132383>Turns out the princess statue was still animate and aware, the dragon just put her under a stasis spell to keep her still>She's not particularly happy that the rogue had her melted down into coins>Nor is she happy that her current body has a tendency to rip all her nice clothes to shreds>Though she isn't really bothered by having to parade around naked, in fact she seems to enjoy the attention she gets as she travels with the party looking for a way to fix her, or preferably a decent enough illusion that her father won't be angry when she goes home>She seems to take a particular delight in being a cock tease to the rogue, doing her best to tip both his lust and greed, while reminding him that her new body can rip a full-grown man in two
>>42084350Take her back to the king, and there in his court, have the Wizard turn her back to normal in front of everyone. If it isn't raining money, then we just rescued the princess of the jews.
>>42133637Anything in particular you want to see? I have an idea for a story but I'll probably heavily take a page from >>42132910 only without the implied snuff and a bit more femdom and engulphment/full body stimulation
>>42134428Anything's fine, I just want to see things happen
>>42134454Okay then give me a bit, not sure it'll be greentext or a normal storyI would say I'd post it tomorrow in the /wst/ but I think that's dead, if not from the trolls than from all the writers waiting for the trolls to leave and the autosage on smut to get taken off
>>42128040>>42133637>>42134454Ending up a bit longer than I thought it would be, may not finish it today, but I'll try to, worst case I'll get bored with it and finish it tomorrow after work/sometime during the weekendIf not and/or the thread is gone then, it'll be in this pastebin when it's donehttp://pastebin.com/2PV7D2x5I'm leaving it private for now, though some of what I'm thinking of including is femdom, tease & denial, engulfment/pleasure-pit, masturbation, and implied lesbianism
>>42084390>Not delivering it to her loving father asking for a reward.>Reward not being a strong province or her (now literal weight in gold)>Not asking the likely more prepared court wizards what to do and take it as another job.Seriously, paladin and rogue, ugh.
>>42136328You're doing god's work, anon. Thanks for the contribution.
>>42136583Probably not gonna be done tonight, mostly lazyness, I'm going to bed in an hour or so so keep the thread bumped or just check the pastebin if it diesWork's been slow though and I'll see if I can do it during then
>>42138615I'm a bit of a busy person myself with college work so I'll check it out much later, cheers.
One more before I sack out
How many classlevels does this golden princess have? Is she animated?Hell, she'd probably be the least ostentatious member of our party.
>>42141200No idea, (probably less given the LA being a solid gold construct would grant) and given the thread, I assume yes
Good morning bump
>>42138719>>42140403>>42142958More girls in gold bodypaint please
>>42122598>Dubstep when she finally becomes the ultimate life form
>>42145115I've only got this last one at the moment, but I think I remember seeing a few more that were blue board acceptable. I'll snag them some time later today.
>>42136328>>42136583Ick, makeing progress on the fic, still at work and I didn't have as much time as I expected as work is unusually busy today, and I've learned I'm a lot better at greentext, and I'm probably not that good at dialogue eitherShould have it done in a few hours, having to look over my shoulders is not helping, and I may end up rewriting it over the weekend when I'm not trying to write smut in full paranoia mode
>>42118538Oh, so now the talking cheese is gonna preach to us?
One of the first things I ever masturbated to was golden painted women.This is a nostalgic kind of boner.
>>42152133>>42145728Now with golden pineapple. Cuz' why not.
>>42153667>>42138719Another one of this lady.
>>42153802Aaand I'm done
>>42128040>>42133637>>42134454>>42136328>>42136583>>42138862Done, not that happy with the beginning, end, or dialog, but I may go back and redo some of itGold Princesshttp://pastebin.com/2PV7D2x5Includes, googirl, femdom, tease & denial, engulfment/pleasure-pit, masturbation, and implied lesbianism
>>42153825Oh hey, reverse image searching the atuff I've posted yields new stuff. Neat.
>>42156597Tell me what you think of it once I'm done
>>42156610>Tell me what you think of it once I'm done*you're done
>>42156610>>42156792It's good, although I'm no critic so I'll leave it to the other anons. But there was a typo in the last bit (serves?)
>>42084350Is her mouth open?
>>42157344Glad you liked it, I actually wasn't feeling to well about it, but I've seen stuff I wrote that I thought was poor get complements in the past, so I wondered what others thoughtThanks for catching that, I cannot into grammar,
>>42157445Doesn't look like it
>>42084407I know you're still excited about that anatomy demonstration you saw in the last city, but we live in a world of magic -- one good high-level spell can reverse this effect and bring this princess back to life.>>42084394She could never be on top without killing you, and you'd always need a lot of lube. Make a regular sex golem like everybody else and just paint it in gold leaf with the reward money.
>>42154480It may be just me, but this pic fits a mental image of the princess gving one of her lines.
>>42084350stone to flesh
>>42100225Wasn't there a 3.5 book that detailed a beholder's lair, complete with statues that had been "surgically" altered to its idea of beauty with its Disintegrate ray? And if you cast Stone to Flesh, the victim turned out to be mortally wounded by the "operation", and died in a round or two if you didn't have high-level healing on hand.Replace the beholder with a dragon and polymorph other.
>>42160326Polymorph other wouldn't hurt the affected though
>>42159132It's a good fit
Jizz on it
>>42160346It might make a good magical equivalent to plastic surgery though
>>42164074Sounds like something commonly found in Eberron.
>>42159132All right, I'm having too much fun posting these and the thread's pretty much dead now so this is my last one.
Don't worry, I got this.
>>42167202>All right, I'm having too much fun posting these and the thread's pretty much dead now so this is my last one.I'd say continue
>>42164982I'm kinda surprised it's not in the books
>>42100178Inanimate or awake and aware of everything? That's one hell of a quest hook, all those frozen adventurers and heroes. And then, if unfrozen, all that ancient knowledge and potential madness to deal with...
Also, this thing archived?
>>42173978I don't think so
>>42173854I dunno. What do you think a dragon who freezes keeps his favorite opponents as trophies would do? Aware seems kinda likely now that I think about it.
>>42173978On archive moe, yeah
Damn it /tg/, new fetish for the week again.Where's the nearest /d/ thread?
>>42179021Closest thing /d/ would have is petrification...
>>42175752I'm now imagining a mixed good and evil/batshit insane version of DC's Metal Men.
>>42157636I thought it was fun too. Honestly, I'd like to see how the Rogue reacts in the morning, as well as possible continued adventures/exploration.
>>42179271Maybe if I get in the mood/have a good idea for it
>>42179227Oh gosh, and I just thought of another layer of atrociousness to drizzles all over this. The Dragon animates the golden statues and forces them to defend him against their will. They have to watch as their bodies cut into the flesh of would be heroes attempting to challenge the dragon.
>>42179326It just occurred to me that the dragon, like Auric Goldfinger, may have wanted to literally stick his dick in gold.Hmmm... would extreme cold have an adverse effect on her new body's shifting capacity?>>42179429Ahahahahah, as in full bodily control of them? I like that. Bonus if part of it is lingering suffocation through goldshifting.
>>42179502>It just occurred to me that the dragon, like Auric Goldfinger, may have wanted to literally stick his dick in gold.I also wrote the bit up thread about the princess that wanted to use a bit of herself to gold plate an adventure's dick
>>42180371Come to think of it, "Auria" might be able to do things like that, magic armor included, in her present state. Don't think she can electroplate, though.
>>42182861Man, body paint like this is one of my big kinks, but it's so hard to find anything more than just pinups.I think it was from an old Anne Rice novel I read where some dude was sacrificed in a ceremony where he was painted in gold and had to reenact the acts of some god including killing a dragon and fucking some goddess.
>>42086856lol haven't seen this one before. saving it.
>>42182861>>42183041Pretty sure mine kicked off from The Mummy with the chick who played Nefertiri
>>42183336And a classic shot cuz' why not
GAZE UPON YOUR TRUE GOLDDESS
>>42183489I can only imagine that that shit stings like mad
>>42183489...HOW IS IT ON HER EYES?
First, we slay the rogue. I don't know how we forgot to take care of that before this point.Now that the criminal is dead, we can consult experts in (presumably arcane if it was a dragon) magic to cure the princess.
>>42186744Coloured contacts, presumably.
>>42186744>>42189093It's actually paint. But it was developed that very purpose, so it's not too bad. Washes out too quickly in fact.
>>42194534Out of the pictures I can post, pic related is the last one I can find that's worth posting.
>>42084350Cast Animate Object, followed by Awaken Construct. "Good news bad news, princess. You're beautiful, immortal, and never need to use makeup ever again! But you're not going swimming any time soon."
>>42195263We're past the bump limit anywayAny good links to less SFW pics you've found?
>>42195704Does a bear shit in the woods?Truth be told the majority of what I posted I found via googling the term "girl gold paint" and various permutations thereof. Along with words like fuck and sex.Unfortunately it looks like the rest from this set have been taken down, but it used to be on a website called Goldfinger 2000, the model's name is Queeny Love.>>42157662And I just really like this photo from this same set.https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/45/45/4d/45454df54b0e6374ecdab21f4a81847a.jpgAnd finally this site just has a good collection in general. The list is currently filteres and is missing some of their other gold photosets http://vidown.com/cgi/store2.pl?site=dl.messygirlvideos.com&keyword=gold&vcart=df08302015122830-70&pagelimit=25&pagenumber=1
>>42196184Meant to quote >>42182861 and >>42183336 for the second paragraph here >>4219618