>Tavern has a mermaid in a barrel>Terrible at getting you drinks, but brilliant conversationalist>Tavern has a stuffed troll head mounted on the wall>It will answer one question for each patron every night, but its answers are not particularly intelligent and often sarcastic>Tavern will batter and fry ANYTHING>Specials of the day can be anything from Fried Lambchops to Fried Displacer Beast to Fried Earth Elemental
>The cellar is inhabited by giant rats>They're magically intelligent, and operate the back end of the pumps for board.
>"Stranger, this tavern is cursed...">"with a whopping 15% discount on food and drinks, one-time only!"
>you all meet in a tavern>this is no coincidence, you realize, as the barkeep gets up on the counter and announces you've all been invited here to take part in his taverns new gimmick, a hero casting show.
>There's a scythe in the umbrella stand>Nobody questions it
>The tavernkeeper has made a pact with a devil>He provides live music in the evenings, and takes song requests. Just be careful of the price.
>>42554874>ask the troll head every night for 18 years "why are you such a faggot? " >Find trolls. Kill trolls. Cut off troll dick. Put troll dick in its mouth.
>>42555069The cut ending of NWN:HotU had main hero forcing Mephistopheles to serve as a barmaid in hist tavern using his true name. The dialogues are still in the .tlk file.
>>42555127That's hysterical. Any transcripts?
>>42555135I can open the module and post them here. Wait a minute.
>>42554874>Tavern will batter and fry ANYTHING>Specials of the day can be anything from Fried Lambchops to Fried Displacer Beast to Fried Earth Elementalah, we're in Scotland, I see.
>>42555144>>42555135There's also some lines in the epilogue. Hold on.
>A magically floating sword is suspended point-down over the best seat in the house>Sometimes it falls
>>42555198That's great. Thanks for sharing.
That's a one big epilogue.
>>42555198Do you know how you learn his true name?
>>42555259Yes, that's what the whole third module is about. You free the Knower of Names, Mephistopheles' betrayed lover, from her prison on Cania, use her own true name against her, and then it gets pretty silly, as you can pay her large sums of gold to know true names of all the cast, even some minor characters. And you could use those true names to do some funny stuff, like forcing devils to be good.
>>42555294Wizards, no sense of right or wrong.
>>42555326Funny thing is, it's the gods of Faerun who lack that sense.
>>42555294>you can pay her large sums of gold to know true names of all the cast, even some minor characters.So, it's basically console commands, but for the story.
>>42555063If you put this with a heavily drinking stranger at the end of a bar who you can't quite remember what he looks like then It's all good.
>>42554874>tavern doesn't serve alcohol but smoothies and tomato juice.
>>42555752I thought that was Chim.
>>42555104>One day, the headless body of a troll shows up and the head grins at you.
>>42556417I'm fucking stealing it right now.
>>42555127>not getting the Sandman reference
>>42556569the devil as a talented musician is not a unique concept, mr. turtle
>>42556599 in the Sandman series, Satan quits managing Hell and opens a lounge bar, where he accept songs request and sometimes tells cryptic hints about someone future
>>42555010The adventurers find ads and coupons for a tavern in town, they shrug and toss them at the first convenience only to find the papers back in their pockets! Only then do they realize the papers are cursed, the only way to get rid of the annoyance is to go back to tavern and redeem the coupons.
>>42558525or allow them to expire...in 50 years
>>42558525>>42558552>party gets them>tests what if they exchange them between each other, do they stay with the new holder or do they return? If the new holder drops them, to whom they return?>if yes and to the original holder: exploit for emergency messaging
There is a door in every bar over about 70 years old.It has never been opened in living memory. It's usually quite small.People overlook it because it has always been there. Even when it first appeared it was overlooked because as soon as it appeared it had always been there.It is through this door that all mature drinking establishments are a connected. It is through this door that time and space is bent and broken through the power of beer.It is a door to Pub Space.
The toilets complain if you throw up on them, expect to have vomit-laden toilet water thrown up in your face.
The tavern keeps painstaking accounting records of everyone who has ever opened a tab with them. If one were to search through their accounting office one would find records dating back tens of thousands of years, despite civilization only springing up in the last five thousand.
>Dragon's milk is available every anniversary of the Fire King's Ascent>The dragon is milked in the tavern in front of patrons as proof of freshness
>>42565845Dragons lay eggs...This is not a milk...
>>42555162>Fried Earth ElementalWouldn't that just be clay?
>Tavern has a stuffed troll head mounted on the wall>It will answer one question for each patron every nightOne day a half-troll walks in, makes eye-contact with him and exclaims "D-dad?!"
>>42566450Greasy clay. With beer batter.
>>42566530eh, if you serve it with enough hot sauce and beer no one complains much.Now, deep fried water elementals, then you're in for a real treat.
>>42567072>no one complains muchUntil their teeth sink in through the outer fried bread crust and into the thick clay, which has no real good taste and is very tough to chew.>>42567072Do they leave any particular residue or would that just be water?I'll tell you guys, I'd rather have some battered and fried slices of tentacle of a Roper or Beholder than that, along with maybe some rice and some battered and fried shrimp. And some steamed vegetables.Also what the fuck is up with that guy's dad's head on the wall?
>>42567300>Until their teeth sink in through the outer fried bread crust and into the thick clay, which has no real good taste and is very tough to chew.What kind of chef fries whole slabs of earth elemental? Everyone knows you cut it into thin strips or slices before frying.
>>42567300Never had deep-fried ice cream?
>>42568297But it's clay, mud, dirt>>42568382No.How do you even do that without it turning into a bunch of goo?
>>42568449BY THE POWER OF 'MURRICA
>>42555104What on earth would warrant this amount of unprovoked edgy faggotry.
>>42568449You pretty much flash fry it before it mealts.>>42569236It's either mexican, american, or asian.
>>42568449Each country's wizard cabal has to pick a type of magic to specialize in, so no one country could have a monopoly on the worlds magic. The American wizard cabal (pictured here), chose to specialize in producing incredible culinary feats, such as deep frying ice cream.
>>42568449You put it in a deep freeze until it's a slightly sweet ice rock made of milk, sugar, and flavorings, coat it in batter, and fry it.Alternatively, there's the no-fry version where you literally just mash crushed corn flakes into the surface, but that's both cheating and bullshit.
>>42569690the no-fry version is fucking disgusting.
>>42554927>The rats also have a decent barbershop quartet
>>42554874>Tavern has a fighting pit in the center>Owner keeps troll finger in a flask of acid>every weekend he takes the finger out and throws it in the pit>It regenerates into a full troll and people go down to fight it>Nobody ever wins except the retired adventurer tavern owner>At the end of the night he kills it and returns the finger to its flask
>>42569363I hear the Black One knows recipes so great that to even speak of them would drive a mortal man mad with hunger.
>>42566029>The milk is actually secreted from a gland in their throat much like some birds
>>42569907What, you mean like that one burger served between two doughnuts?
>>42570445>one burger served between two doughnutsIs that not a common thing in your country?
>>42570506I'm American, I just don't live in a Georgia Ghetto, so we don't have two pound burgers slathered in too much cheese and served between two grilled Krispy Kreams, mainly because most of the farmers around here don't want to worry about instantly dieing of a heart attack when there is livestock and crops to take care of to feed and cloth all you crazy people
>>42556599No dude, Neil Gaiman invented anything that ever appeared in everything he wrote.
>>42566512>The troll head reaponds>No, Im your great aunt. Your dad is the other troll head in the pub 1 block over.
>the bar was built by, owned by and ran by a curiously well known prankster and trickster and sometimes whispered as a once notorious criminal who went to ground after one too many successful heists who at first glance is a normal pub, but hidden secrets all over the place. From hiding nooks for drinks, to hidden side rooms where you can make special food and drink orders from, to passage ways, to simply amusing traps and maybe even some sinister and deadly things too. But no one can say for sure. The owner knows how to keep secrets.
>>42562787>not space bar
>>42556336"HOW DOES ONE... FORGET?"
>>42572297>Trolls don't get decapitated, but at a certain age in life detach their heads from their bodies so the body may grow a new, fresh head to live a new life.
There is a lone bar stool at the end of the bar that no one sits on save for one old man who shows up from time to time after dark. He talks a bit about current events but never about himself. If someone orders a meal and/or a drink for Him, will thank the person who did so. Then will give him or her advice or prediction that can range from interesting realistic, to the down right odd. But it ALWAYS becomes true one way or another. After word, he goes to leave, but quickly ditches any attempt to follow him. No one knows where he cram from.
>In a dark corner of the, a mysterious, hooded figure sits casually smoking a pipe.>If approached, will turn on the nearby wall lamp, lift his hood, and engage cheerily in coversation
>>42574152>In a dark corner of the, a mysterious, hooded figure sits casually smoking a pipe.>If approached, will vanish and reappear in another corner, still casually smoking his pipe.>he's been smoking that pipe for sixty years.>Is he a ghost? An illusion? A god?
>>42574233The landlord had to stop people organizing to approach every corner at once after the third time. A square room having seven corners is enough of a headache for anyone to deal with.
>>42574233>in a dark corner of the tavern, a mysterious hooded figure sits casually smoking a pipe>if approached, it quickly becomes apparent that he's just a cardboard cutout the barkeep put there to keep any actual mysterious hooded figures from bringing their crap around his place
>>42573335Are you dyslexic?
>You can find booze from just about everywhere here>a fine dwarven brew is made in the back, owner won the secret recipe in a drinking competition with a dwarf lord>wine is brought in by the barrel from pretty much all the elven kingdoms>an alcoholic blood is available for vampires and anyone else less than savory>once a month, a travelling merchant comes from Sigil with a few special bottles from around the planes
>>42555104Wouldn't that grow a whole new troll every time?
>>42574500I'm afraid I don't get it either. What's the joke?
>>42574522The joke is you being this new apparently
>>42554874>Tavern will batter and fry ANYTHING>Specials of the day can be anything from Fried Lambchops to Fried Displacer Beast to Fried Earth ElementalSo what happens when I want to be a boring motherfucker and order a nice ordinary meal of fried chicken?
>>42574571I'm no oldfag, but I've been here for about six years, and based on the responses, nobody else got it either.Explain, anon.
>>42574618Jesus Christ. Fuck sakes.>>42555104Is LITTERALLY 4chan in a nutshell
The bartender is a stocky woman appearing to be in her late thirties, still pretty and speaking with a strong Southern accent.It's actually an ancient eldritch monstrosity on par with Lovecraftian Old Ones, who decided that the whole alien insane abomination gig is just not what it wants from life and finds bartending more fun and fulfilling.Woe to all who try to start shit in her bar, but thankfully her grasp on money and value is a bit skewed so you can get things dirt cheap from her.
>>42574591They give you the whole chicken fried. Upon cutting it, you notice that the insides are also fried, even the bones.
>>42574814>ask for fried fried chicken>portal to elemental plane of frying is opened>hundreds dead in catastrophic flash frying>nearby black dragon chef inspired to become BBEG
>tavern has a large hole in the center of it>if you want their eastern specials you have to yell into the hole>you get a bowl of noodles and chopsticks five minutes later
>>42554874>>Tavern will batter and fry ANYTHINGNice to see a Cantonese restaurant opening up in town.
>>42574641"Jesus Christ Fucks sakes" does not explain "Ask it y u such a faggot" and "chop off a dick, stick in it's mouth" as a joke anon.If it does, I think you need to workshop that one some more.
>>42574814And feathers. They fried the fucking feathers.
Are there any fishlike monsters which you could cook and eat?Like cut filets, squeeze some lemon juice on them, then batter, bread and deepfry together with potato fries?
>>42573035Pub Space is the extra dimensional realm through which all drinking establishments across time and space are connected.
>The Wall of Fame>adventures from around the land embark on epic journeys and world-changing campaigns to bring back some prize or tale worthy of The Wall>Some boost killing ancient red wyrms and bring the skull as proof>Some still have shining palms from the time they met, feasted with, and shook hands with a god>Some have the keys to cities or the undergarments of a princess from when they daved the day>Anyone worthy will get a portrait with size being relative to greatness of deeds on the wall>The largest in the center is a large picture of the tavern owner and 4 others however the faces of the rest of the party were ripped off>seems that some on The Wall get taken off
>>42575691Only after visiting China do I now realize why the sky looks so deary in this picture...should be filled with smog...
>>42555063Pr... Pratchet senpai
>>42570599Huey Freeman please go
>There is a man assuring you he is most certainly not a vampire.>In Swedish.
>>42554874>Everyone thinks the bar is part of a massive chain>It's actually a single bar connected via magical pathways to a single massive location>The stamp the doorman puts on you is actually a magical sigal telling the door which one you entered originally.
>>42566450>>42566530Fried clay would actually be... a brick
>>42575927Actually, now I wonder what a Texan Huey Freeman would be like.
>>42575956jag er null vampir
>>42570445https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luther_BurgerSometimes you gotta show your arteries who's boss.
>>42576922What the fuck, America?
It's a common joke that the latrines pour directly into the kegs of the goblin divebar beneath the tavern. What's less well known is the divine urinal metaphysically located directly above the taps...
>>42576946I totally agree! Who the hell makes a wikipedia article about donuts?
>>42576076When the rogue sneaks in, they're gonna have a hell of a time getting back out the righ tplace again.
>>42576961That would give an interesting insight towards the gods volume. And the amount of food and drink they'd have to consume.
>>42574954A dandy guy in space often comes around the bar, claiming he's looking for the perfect bowl of noodles.
>>42576946This is why we don't let the Georgians or Harlemites cook anymore.Also>In Astoria, Queens, a Lebanese burger restaurant began selling a halal-compliant version of the Luther Burger (a Crave Doughnut Burger) with turkey bacon in 2010. The restauranteur added the 1⁄4-pound (0.11 kg) burger to the menu after a friend experienced one while traveling through the Southern United States. Restaurant owner Firas Zabib has said he sells 10–20 of the US$6.50 burgers per day, and that his was the first shop in New York City to sell themNot even the Kebab are safe from it.
>>42577050Gotta go bait /fit/ with that.
>>42577050Holy shit that actually looks tasty
>>42577182Oh, it is. There was a little restaurant run by a black family that lived near me. They served it with sweet potato fries dusted with powdered sugar. It was more desert than meal.Shame I was the only one who ever ate there; they folded in less than a year.
>>42577233>sweet potato fries dusted with powdered sugar.>sweet on sweetDisgusting. Sweet potato fries do best with Rosemary Salt.Also, how's your waistline?
>>42577273People say that I look like a skinny highschooler, but I'm actually 30 years old. Cardio every other day and no refined sugar except for a bottle of Root Beer at the end of the month. I only ate the Luther burger once out of morbid curiosity. It was delicious and I have no regrets.
>>42569758>They're only decent, though, and don't let them sing when the tavern keep's given them cheese
>Ho, adventurer what can I get you?>Oh, just a cider? Alright man... You know we've got a good selection of craft beer here, too. Do you like hops? You might like this Ithania Pale Ale we have on tap. I can get you a growler of it if you want.
>>42558525>>42560158>these are the ads
>>42576734>>42576666>>42575956Magicka was such a great game. Pity the sequel was hot garbage on a cold plate.
>>42577496Shhhh, its chicken whispers
>>42558525>cursed coupons>not "good way to have angry adventurers murder you and burn down your inn"
>>42576666Vad fan var det du just sa?
>>42576666>Jänkare tror att vi faktiskt pratar så.Nice quads
>>42577811>playing a campaign where players can burn down inns with no repercussions because they were annoyed by a slip of paper
>one of the barmaids is a clumsy mage the always screws up the orders>the drinks and food strangely taste like what the actual order was
I'm taking this tavern for the centerpoint of my next campaign.>Job Board next to main door>Covered in postings from around the world>If someone leaves with a posting they will find themselves in the land from which it originated
>>42577967inb4 "no fun allowed"
>The whole tavern is actually for show and conceals the true tavern which is exclusive>In order to access it you have order a specific drink in a specific way and then accidentally spill it onto yourself>as you go to clean yourself up in the bathroom this will allow you to see a door that is normally hidden and only visible this way that leads to the real club>you also need a membership badge or else the door leads to an empty alleyway
>>42578367It's like some sort of drink based combination lock!
>>42577050Cheese is so nasty. It looks like someone came all over that burger.
>>42577967Sometimes you just want to have a wacky slapstick adventure.
>>42579053Personally I never saw the appeal of cheddars or the "American Cheese" by product garbage. I rather put Jarlsberg or Muenster on my burger, though for your more thin patties Havarti works fine as well. Pepper jack should only be used when you can't get fresh peppers available, or you're just feeling too bored and lazy.Also fuck anyone who offers a choice between ranch and blue cheese, but uses blue cheese to make the ranch anyway.
>>42579233The problem with cheddar is that good aged cheddar doesn't actually go that well on burgers, IMO. The cheap stuff does, but that just tastes like every other mild semi-hard cheese. I sort of like American cheese on my burgers if I'm in the right mood. It's junk food, but junk food has it's place. I'm not a huge fan of Jarlsburg on burgers (or Gruyere, for that matter). Muenster is GOAT though.
>>42569844gonna stole this m8
>>42573124This made me happy at first.Then it made me very, very sad.
>>42579233Cheddar is the most basic cheese. This isn't a bad thing, but if you want cheese flavor without anything dumb like the initial shock of blue cheese or the excessive rubberiness of soft cheeses or whatever, cheddar is the way to go. It's also really cheap for some reason.American cheese is shit though. I don't even use that shit when making grilled cheese sandwiches.
>>42569974>birds>milkI had to look this up. Thanks for making me have "bird milk" in my search history.>in the background of this tavern, there is just a dragon they keep feeding booze to make it throw up to get trace amounts of "milk" as it wretches>>42569236it's actually asian I think, japanese and thai restaurants almost always have it but I rarely see it elsewhereyou basically super chill the ice cream so it's in hard chunks, and then tempura it.
The tavern is in fact, your typical tavern. There is nothing special about it. This, whoever, tends to throw people off who are used to every tavern having some spooky gimmick or another.
>>42556380Kirkbride is an egotistical hack. His early work was alright, but now he's trying to cling onto his former glory by writing fanfic-tier bullshit. Pretty sure he's been smoking crack or some shit.
>>42586270>Pretty sure he's been smoking crack or some shit.You'd have to get pretty high to write the shit he did for Morrowind.>Kirkbride is an egotistical hackYou're just mad because he banged your daughter.
>>42585707glad that i live in the magical christmasland where i can get soft cheeses one day after they're made, they're downright creamy and not rubbery at all, and to top it off, they're cheaper because they were stored for less long.
The tavern is the only game in town. Considering the town is tiny and there are few buildings in a remote but suddenly booming town, the tavern also serves as a general goods store, blacksmith shop, and many other needed services in a rambling chain of buildings connected together by various means. Having to eat and drink right near by the aisles of random but needed goods and the sounds of a non stop blacksmith makes for a slightly odd decor.
>>42574591You'll eat your fried basilisk and like it buster.
The tavern itself is normal, but the Tavern owner absolutely hates sausages. He does not and will not have them inside his tavern. Locals tend to taunt him with them and fights that ensure are a sight to see.
The tavern was rebuilt around a sizable rock outcropping that has a small but never ending spring of fresh clean water quietly bubbling out of it. It was the only thing that was not cleaned up after two druids that came in the tavern years ago had an argument that erupted into a full blown spell battle. Lingering random but harmless druid magic leaks out from the spring from time to time due to it.
>>42591225>absolutely hates sausagesI cast detect evil, followed by detect Magic. This man is clearly not human.
>>42591473Nah, he used to like sausages. But then Freud showed up a rolled a 20 on his sense motive check.
>>42591473No lie, I had a DM drop this quirk on my group once. It was a plot hook for a side quest.
This Tavern is near the massive docks of the major sea port of nation. The tavern owner was ship captain before he slot his boat in a gale. He has a standing bounty on solid and up to date nautical map data to add to his on going dream to make a sea map of the whole world. Due to his obsession he is the sole owner of one of the best nautical map in the world. Oddly enough, he refuses to any ship ever again and will not say why.
>>42591821augh!>Lost his boat in a gale>Docks of the major sea port of the nation>He refuses to board any shipSome times I wish there was an edit option.
>>42574852>black dragon chef>black dragon>dragonthat's racist.
>The place has had so many additions and renovations over the years that it's impossibly to say what the original building looked like.
>>42593934That shit is humongous, a town could live in there
>>42591181Tastes like cockatrice
>>42597151Still have to pay rent.
>>42597151Still could play it as an uber-inn. Just gotta have some automagically refreshing questing spot nearby.Liike, a dungeon with some thing generating monsters at the bottommost level. Overarching goal is to get there and shut it off, but concentration of monsters gets worse the deeper you go.And frankly some monster parts are valuable, so a lot of them just farm upper levels for monster parts.So the uber-inn has to accommodate all those adventurers as well as merchants and craftsmen buying the loot and selling back supplies.Also yes, gotta minimize supplies while going deeper, so picrelated applies.
>>42597539Speaking of Dungeon Meshi, is there a torrent for the translated stuff so far?
>>42554874>there's a Lizardman who shows up every tuesday, dressed in a straw hat and cloth pants (with a hole for his tail)>he always orders the fried chicken, failing that, any other bird or birdlike meat>he also drinks copious amounts of red wine, he pays everything in copper, always copper, if something costs in silver or gold he'll pay that value in copper, leading the establishment to always being able to make change when needed>the bartender calls him the "Copper Lizard", prompting him to ask "How you know I is named Copper?", the irony of his name being lost on him>he would really want to talk about farming and crops with anyone who would listen, but nobody ever does
>>42597760>He tries to look smart by reading a book (the dictionary), upside down>a barmaid once accidentally stepped on his tail, he now curls his tail around the chair he sits on
>>42577967Sometimes it's worth the repercussions.
>>42566450They make it special for Troll Tuesdays
>>42574233Welcome to the Inn of Many Dark Corners
>>42598565>inn specifically designed to have a high amount of corners>even has dividing walls added here and there to create extra corners
>>42597760Goddamnit penis, it's too early for your shit
>>42597760>He recently started noticing this female orc who frequents tavern>After a while, finds her kinda good looking>Ends up wanting to share something special with her>One Tuesday evening, decides to approach her>Asks if she'd be interested in a 'juicy drumstick'>Orc says she's more of a 'taco' fan herself>Undeterred, they eventually come to a compromise>15 minutes later they're enjoying, hot, delicious tacos, all stuffed with drumsticks and various other ediblesOf course they were talking about food, what else could it have been?
>>42575815>from when they daved the dayDave is the tavern owner and it has become common to say dave instead of save because of how often his heroic efforts have daved the day.
>>42598658>that inner yard also has tables just so you can be in your shadowed corner while enjoying fresh breeze
>>42556950>n-no you don't get it, this isn't my body! i, um, swamped souls with someone!
>>42598712>she teaches him how to read (at a gradeschool level, sure, but better than no level), and sets him up on a date with her half-ogre friend>they all eat a lot of chicken and tacos together>>42598962>there's also a well with a little roof in the center, which has a roof over it to cast more shadow>there's a second floor to the tavern, with more chairs and tables, another bar, bookshelves to create more corners>third floor is a hostel with beds put up in little cubicles, effectively a corner for each bed>kitchen and store room is obviously in the basement, accessible from behind the main bar on the ground floor, there's an adjacent wine-cellar there too >also the chimney from the kitchen goes up through the floor and ceiling, acting both as a support pillar, and as a way to build another corner.>there's a hidden door in the basement, leading to a small, yet not insignificant dungeon (there's really nothing particularly unnatural living there, just subterranean creatures, rats, big bugs, etc), in that dungeon/combination crypt, there's a path leading out to the town sewers, effectively creating a secret exit. >there's also many dark corners in the dungeon.This is a really cool tavern.
>>42599579>not having skellys in your dungeonwhat are you, a pleb?
>>42593934>At the center of the inn/tavern is a courtyard in which traveling merchants and local farmers set up their wagons and carts, looking to sell their goods and trinkets.
>>42599618They make xylophone noises.Bothered the guests, had to give them away
>>42601063l'm so adding this to my slave cyoa!
>>42598685Fried chicken gets you hard?