>>42564010
We need to get John from the Gotham Econ department, simple snatch and grab.

>>42564282
Any old Econ student will do. Do it quiet, we want it to be like he was plucked away with an invisible hand. Plus, this being the third kidnapping at Gotham Uni should give Prof. Coal more plausible deniability.

Call in the pyrotechnic. Get as many explosives spread out as we can over the gotham area. Similar to our wild goose xgasr from before, but with real explosives. Im thinking public buildings / skyscrapers to keep bats occupied.

>>42564010
We'll take Knock and Dwayne and some boys, We need a floor plan of the entire complex, we also need spike to rig something up for their security, make sure they can't contact the police or Bats.

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>>42564010

You have Dwayne call up Knock, Red, and Spike, and explain your plan.

"Spike, I want you to do something about the security systems. And I need a floorplan. Dwayne, Knock and I will take the Twins and a few of the boys in ourselves."

"I got you, Boss," says Spike, picking at his makeup. "Old Boss kept tabs on Arkham security all the time."

"Yeah," says Dwayne, "but he was always bustin' out, not back in."

You continue. "Red, I want you to take some of the boys. I want as many explosives set up across Gotham as we can to keep the Bat's eyes off us.

Real ones this time. And make sure they're big and loud. Public buildings. Skyscrapers.

Red chews on a smoking stub of a cigar, and shows his filthy teeth. "Big...Big I can do." He coughs out a mean-spirited laugh.

"So how you planning on getting us inside, Boss?" asks Knock. "I'm guessing we ain't going through the front door?"

>how will you plan your approach?

>>42564739
Right through the front door, have gang dress up as swat transporting joker to atkham then bang?

>>42564836
Let's try this

>>42564836
Don't know how well that would work

>>42564836
Shot arm adds legitimacy to the ruse

>>42564836
That's not terrible, we'd have to get swat uniforms

>>42564739
What about going through the sewer hit it from underground. We could as flood the ventilation system with knock out gas. While everyone's out we rush in with gas mask and get Dottie and any of our other guys there out. Hook ourselves up with gasmasks.

>>42565027
Two teams? Combine both plans?

>>42565027
It's Arkham, how many people do you think have tried this?
Now how many people do you think would be crazy enough to try just walking through the front door?

>>42565064

Might work.

>>42565064
That could work, but it would split the group. It's already a risky venture, probably better to keep it as simple as possible.

>>42565064
Us as Distraction at the front and The actual rescue team down under

Hang on, my beowser crashed and erased my post.

Starting over...

>>42565139
Oh shit

>>42565108
This! Use a double distraction front. Have a mook dressed up as us at the front, while the main group comes from below. I like it.

Quest goes in the title field so that we can filter you, you inbred mongoloid.

>>42565139

Use Microsoft Word or Notepad.

File: 1337382920830.gif (728 KB, 350x263)

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>>42565226

>>42565226
Stop getting so buthurt about it.

>>42565226
The people who want to find it will. It doesn't need to be tagged.

>>42565108
Distraction team will be fucked and then we'll have to rescue more people

>>42565318
Not when we use gas anon

>>42565226
All this salt
How does it feel to have lost?

Oh god you people.

Anyhoots: Front door is going to work all of three seconds it takes for them to check up. Maybe if we can blackmail a guard or two?

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>>42564739

"Actually, Knock. That's exactly what we're going to do."

They look at you in shock as you explain your plan. Spike will report your capture across police bands, and some of the men, dressed as a SWAT team, will deliver you right into the main entrance.

Meanwhile, a second group will enter from the sewers beneath, and release a gas throughout the asylum, incapacitating the guards within. The chaos will allow you to enter, find Dottie, and exit.

"She should be on the ground floor," says Dwayne. "That's where they keep the normal patients. But the crew that enters from the sewers will have to enter from the basement. Where they keep the serious threats."

You set everyone to work. You have to get ready for your biggest crime yet, and you don't have much time.


You work all through the night, until noon the next day. Luckily, much of the planning for breaking out of Arkham was already second nature to your crew. They're just doing it backwards this time.

Red's explosives have been distributed, and Dwayne and Knock drive you and a couple men to an office building on the outskirts of town- one within a short drive of Arkham.

Spike has called the police to the location already reporting a bomb.

(cont)

>>42565453

Or not, since if they put out a news report then it'd alert the Joker's army.

>>42565512
I hope the bombs were rigged in a timed sequence so he HAS to follow a set path to get them all in time.

At the end is a small prize present with a note or something among chattering teeth. Just to let him know it was us.

>>42565546
It'd be perfect. And it would tweak his nose too.

>>42565482

You arrive at the building, and enter on the ground floor, firing your guns and making sure to be as loud as possible. Within a few minutes, the police arrive.

You release the Professor's mist immediately, and remove the uniforms from the police, until Dwayne and the men are dressed in their riot gear.

Knock picks up the radio. "We have apprehended the Joker, en route to Arkham." As he does, Dwayne sends word to Red to begin triggering explosives.

Vehicles parked outside of offices and schools all over Gotham burst into multicolored explosions. Glass fires in all direction, as flames belch out of windows. In some areas, flames begin to spread to buildings built too close together.

With any luck, the police will be too busy with the explosions to send assistance to the unit that "apprehended" you.

You hope.

>>42565670
Is this a continued?

You know. Time in Arkham might be good for us.


Well. I mean Arkham and Joker seem to understand each other's madness. If we want to be more like the genuine article then we need to immerse ourselves in the madness.

Also I've been thinking about original Joker.
Is he trying to prove to Bats anyone can become the Joker with the right motivation? Is his seemingly random pick a twist on Batman and Robin relationship?

>>42565802
posts take time, it seems QM types as he goes instead of all at once then splitting up.

Works out better this way, since he can incorporate stuff that pops up later.

>>42565670

You drive out of town, and up to the gates of Arkham. After a word from Dwayne, the man at the gate buzzes you in.

You continue up the hill, and towards the side entrance- where the high-security prisoners are brought in.

Your men roughly lead you out of the van, and up to the gates...
Meanwhile, down below, Red, the Twins, and four other men are trudging through the sewers. The concrete pathways along the waterways are slick from algae and other unpleasant things. The two brutes are both carrying a pair of huge tanks over their shoulders. Red seems none too happy about his task.

Soon, they come to a huge steel gate, welded shut.

"Ah, hell." says Red. "'Course we couldn't just walk right up."

Red kneels down and goes through his bags,and pulls out a small explosive charge. He sets it on the gate, stands back, and sets it off. The gate falls to the floor with a clatter.

>>42565922
Yeah it seems faster this way. I like to give people a chance to steer things as I post, too

>>42565940
Red leads the men on, following the printed map the fat kid had provided him.

He doesn't care for the sewers. Red is not a man who fears very much anymore, but the strange noises down here put him on edge. The sound of rats diving into the filthy water echos through the network of tunnels.

He looks back. The three men and the two giants are still there. He didn't know what else he expected.

He turns a corner. Another gate, not on the map. Just as before, he blows it open.

"Hey, you two. Big guys. Why don't you head in first?" Don't want you gettin' lost." Red waves the two giants inside, and takes his place between them and the two other men.

>>42566138
Better watch out for Croc boys.

>>42566138

They go on. There is another noise, louder this time. Red jumps a bit, then looks behind him.

"Alright, which of you..."

There is only one man. The other man looks behind him, and for the first time he realizes he is alone.

The other man seems terrified. "Hey, where'd you guys go?!" shouts the man in fear.

Then there is a small splash, and the man's neck whips around. He doesn't have a chance to scream as he is pulled into the dark water.

A circle of red begins spreading across the gently rippling surface of the water where the man disappeared underneath.

>what does Red do?

>>42566245
Then again.

Clowns probably taste funny

>>42566310
Fucking run.

You don't fight croc head on.

>>42566310
"Everybody back to back"
Prep explosives for everyone to throw at what ever attacked the men.

>>42566310
It's either Croc, who I don't remember being a cannibal, or King shark who IS. Either way throw down a bomb and run like hell

>>42566310
Time to go croc hinting with dynamite. Explosives plus water equal liquefied guts. Lets not risk anymore men. Freaking put will only get us killed. Stay out of the water.

>>42566310
Recruit Killer Croc!

Ahahahahahaha

I mean, throw every fuckinh bomb you got and run like the fucking Flash.

>>42566369
Ment out not put. Stupid phone.

>>42566310
>what does Red do?

Fucking run.

>>42566310

"BACK TO BACK!" shouts Red, fumbling with his bag. He tosses a few charges into the water.

"Let's MOVE boys!"

The three clowns just fucking run.


>Roll 4d6

Rolled 2, 4, 3, 4 = 13 (4d6)

>>42566425
welp this happened

Rolled 6, 5, 6, 1 = 18 (4d6)

>>42566425
Time to kill a croc

Rolled 5, 1, 5, 6 = 17 (4d6)

>>42566425
Evade the Croc.

Rolled 3, 6, 2, 6 = 17 (4d6)

>>42566425

>>42566444
>three successes
And trips confirm

>>42566479
Awesome!

>>42566425

The explosives go off, spraying the filthy water through the air. There is a loud cry, and Red looks back to see a hulking, inhuman shape claw its way out onto the concrete.

The creature draws a hand away from its face, revealing a burn across the right side of its face, its eye forced closed. The creature's other undamaged yellow eye meets Red's.

It howls, and charges him.

As it nears, one of be boys lashes out with one of the huge aluminum tanks.

Roll 3d6

>>42566625
Fingers crossed...
Kick his ass, right and/or lefty!

Rolled 6, 5, 3 = 14 (3d6)

>>42566625
Come on good rolls!

Rolled 2, 6, 3 = 11 (3d6)

>>42566625

Rolled 2, 4, 2 = 8 (3d6)

>>42566645
Shit forgot to roll

Rolled 6, 2, 5 = 13 (3d6)

>>42566625

>>42566654

Righty (or Lefty?) smashes the tank down onto the creature, knocking its face into the floor. There is a crunch, and the creature rolls and grabs the huge clown's arm. He looses his grip on the tank, but still keeps hold of the other.

He cries out in pain as the creature sinks its teeth into his arm.

The other huge clown attacks.

Roll 4d6

Rolled 4, 3, 5, 6 = 18 (4d6)

>>42566845

Rolled 1, 5, 3, 1 = 10 (4d6)

>>42566845
Put that croc down!

Rolled 6, 1, 2, 6 = 15 (4d6)

>>42566845
Fuck him up, fuck him up!

>>42566845
The other clown hammers the creature's ribcage with both of his tanks. It wrenches its head, and there is a sickening pop. It lets out a howl, and heaves before quickly leaping into the water, leaving behind only a pool of blood and a few bloody broken teeth.

Once the group is sure the creature is gone, Red takes a look at the big clown's damaged arm. His brother is concerned, and is trying his best to comfort him, while the big clown tries hard to stifle his sobs.

The flesh around the bite is torn, and the arm has been wrenched out of the socket. "Gimmie your shirt, big guy. And you," he tells the wounded clown. "Hold still."

The big clown screams as Red pops his arm back into place, and raps his brother's shirt around the arm. "It'll have to do for now," he thinks. "Guess we can't just leave him here."

He tries to feebly lift the dropped tank again, before resigning himself to simply drag them both with his good arm.

Red leads the pair to the access point, and prepares to blow the door...

>>42567082

Back upstairs, Dwayne and company are rushing you through security.

"Move, move, move! We need a holding cell, immediately!"

You are lucky they don't ask many questions; it's not difficult to get yourself admitted into Arkham, you wager. They just don't expect you to get back out again.

After a few words with security, the temporary holding cell is prepared for you. Just as you are to be passed off to the guards, you give Dwayne a signal, and he quietly triggers a transmitter on his belt.


Down below, Red and the clowns out their gas masks on, blow the access panel, and knock the tops off the canisters. The Professor had been able to prepare the chemicals in gaseous form this time, and the begins pouring into the building through the ventilation ducts.

From the basement on up, patients and guards alike begin falling over themselves with laughter. Once it starts affecting on your own floor, your crew puts on their gas masks, knocks out the nearby guards, and releases your restraints. He hands you a gas mask, just as you are starting to feel a bit light-headed and giddy.

The gas is filling the building, but you don't have long before someone triggers some air scrubbers and calls the police.

>what do you do!? Quick!

>>42567332
Find and release Dottie as quickly as possible no need to hang about.

>>42567332
>what do you do!? Quick!
Open the gates, and find Dottie.
Leave the gates open after we leave.
The carnival's in town, boys!

>>42567332
Find Dottie and release as many normal prisoners as possible.

>>42567413
This

>>42567383

Seconding, the reason I say everyone not just the normal prisoner's is I would very much like to be not the biggest fish Batman has to fry

>>42567332

"Alright, Dwayne. We have to find Dottie, fast."

He begins checking the nearby prisoner manifest.

"...She isn't on this floor. I don't understand. It says she's on the basement level. Boss, something's wrong."

"Dwayne, can you release the prisoners from here?"

He clicks a few buttons. "There's an emergency override for the cells on this floor in case of fire, but I can't trigger the high-sec cells from here. They would have to be done individually."

"Let's head down to meet Dottie then. Set the prisoners on this floor to release once we're down there."

Dwayne hits a button. "We only have a few minutes after the alarm sounds before the prisoners are released."

A klaxon begins sounding.


"...alright, NOW we have to move."

You lead your group down the halls and down the stairs. The guards lie laughing on the floors, some already passed out. It is a simple matter for you to lift a card key from one of the incapacitated guards.

You unlock the steel vault that seals the lower levels, and step inside...

We're definitely goibg to have to slow it down so we can recover as a group. We've been pushing hard to prove that we're just as good as the previous joker. I think we've done this. Now we need to regroup and work on strengthening our group as a whole before we set out and do something big again.

>>42567744
>Boss, something's wrong."
Torture and/or experimentation chamber time!
Oh fuck, wait a minute, what if Dottie's a narc?

>>42567745

Agreed.

>>42567849
I hope not. If she is then she'd know that we didn't really have option not to step up into the joker roll, well at least without dying.

>>42567744

Downstairs, it's much quieter. The cells here each have their own oxygen systems, ensuring nothing goes in or out without the permission of the guards. You take Knock and Dwayne, and send the other men to rendezvous with Red and his men.

Finally, in the back hall, Dwayne stops you. This is the place.

There is a clipboard in the holder beside the door. At the top, it reads:

"VALEZ, DOROTHY"

>what do you do?

>>42567970
>what do you do?

Pick it up and read it.

They could be trying to put her on the suicide squad.
>>42567970
Grab it we can read what it has to say later assuming its a file on her. Find away to get this door done then we need to get the hell out of here.

>>42568035
Down not done

>>42567970
Tell dwayne to open it, and while he does read the file
>>42567907
If she is we kill her on the spot. I hate to, but we need some goddamned respect

>>42568071
I doubt she is though. And if the file we can kill her later after we read it. Right now we don't have the time and it would really hurt morale.

>>42568117
I was trying to say If the file says she is we can kill her after read it, but we shouldn't do eiyhet here.

>>42568071

I'd rather we ask her if she'd like us to just kill her or let her in the Squad.

It's her life

>>42568177
Either* sorry I'm on my phone.

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>>42567970

You take a look at the chart for a moment. At a glance, a few words stand out to you: "Schitzoid Personality Disorder." "Depression." "Addiction." "Antisocial tendencies." "Regression."

"This is her," you say. "Open it up, Dwayne." He swipes the card, and opens the door.

Inside, the woman you know as Dottie is sitting in the corner, wearing a set of white Arkham-issued clothes.

For the first time you see her without her makeup. Her hair is still dark green, but is no longer styled. It hangs limply around her dark-skinned face.

Her face is covered by a network of aged white scars. A bandage covers her empty eyesocket, yet her good eye looks so deeply sunken you think for a moment that it is missing as well.

She looks at you.

"You shouldn't have come."

>what do

>>42568314
Smile
then Say Time to go

>>42568314
No i shouldn't have, but i did anyway. Your part of my crew, as long as i have your loyalty youll have mine.

Get her prepped, check for bugs / homing devices, get the fuck out

>>42568314
"Niether should you, so lets fix both of our problems and get out of here faster then little Billy with a stolen pie"

>>42568386
>>42568378

Mix of these

>>42568314
Give her her eye back

>>42568419
>>42568420
Seconded.

>>42568314
Seconding
>>42568419
>>42568420
>>42568442

>>42568314
>"schitzoid personality disorder"

this sounds bad

>>42568473
Ehm, we're the Joker... Honestly some delusions and the odd hallucination is the least we could expect for anyone in the inner circle.

>>42568473
If we were normal, then yeah

>>42568473
Dude, we've committed like a dozen felonies in the last hour, to say nothing of the dead cops, traumatized bitches, etc. A little crazy is no bid deal. Schizoid is also overdiagnosed in the DC universe

>>42568314

"Neither should you," you say with a smile. "You saved me, so I save you. Now let's get out of here faster then little Billy with a stolen pie."

She hugs her knees to her chest, and rolls her head back. "I didn't save you so you could run and put yourself in Arkham."

She looks at Dwayne. "Why'd you let him do it, D?"

"Too late Dottie. Time to go," you say, holding out her cracked eye.

She takes it from your hand, then removes her bandage and pops it in. She stands, and looks at you with her cracked eye.

"You brought me a gun too, right?"

Knock, who has been waiting impatiently and watching down the halls, shouts into the room. "Come on! If you're comin', let's get out of here, now!"

Dwayne gives Dottie a gun, and you all begin rushing down the hallway.

You can feel malicious eyes watching you from the windows in the doors as you pass as you go deeper into the basement towards the sewer access, and your escape.

As you enter the area with the special cells, you hear a voice call out to you from a glass cell nearby.

"Well, what's this?"

You glance over at the cell briefly, but are stopped in your tracks.

>>42568800
$20 says clayface looking like joker or actual joker

>>42568800
Dun dun dun! It's the original!

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>>42568800

The man inside the cell is a bit taller than you. Age shows at the corners of his face.

The face is familiar. You've seen it every morning for the last month.

"Guess there are two Jokers in a deck, eh slim?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

>>42568800
Its either clayface joker or original joker. Either way we scram, dont have time for this shit

>>42568800
It's a hypnotist. I'm shit at comic references so feel free to list potential hypnotists.

>>42568896
Immediately turn to Dwayne and ask how certain he is that the joker's dead.
It's totally fucking clayface, and I say we call his bluff.

>>42568896

"Maybe next time, pal."

Laugh and leave.

>>42568943
Bad idea. Goons would turn on us at once. Make sure it's a hypnotist/shapeshifter first.

>>42568896
"And you're in the discarded pile. Bye".

>>42568906
Might want to takr gim with us either way. If it's the actual joker we can step down from running the gang and take on a learning role, if it's clay face he'll owe us. "I thought you we're dead? If it is you than this has been a hell of joke, if it isn't it's still funny, want to come with?" something like this or maybe ask the crew what we should do?

>>42568896
READ THE CLIPBOARD BEFORE PROCEEDING!

>>42568997
Take him with*

>>42569006
Yes! This is important! Do this!

>>42568896
>There is a clipboard in the holder beside the door. At the top, it reads:
Find out who it is.

>>42568997
>>42569014

Why would Clayface honor a deal?

>>42568896
Seconding
>>42569006

>>42569006
this

>>42569006
I vote for this

>>42568997
"Daddy dearest is that you? Mummsy told us you'd kicked the bucket!"

>>42568896
Let's find out which prisoner this is before releasing it.

>>42569060
Say this, while checking the clipboard.

File: mhm.png (48 KB, 640x480)

48 KB PNG

>>42569006
>>42569060
These

>>42568896

The rest of the group is silent.

"Dwayne, I thought you said he was dead?" you ask, suspiciously.

"...Yeah, Dwayne?" asks Knock.

You look at the chart next to the glass cell, and read off the name to the group.

"Karlo, Basil?"

The "Joker" starts laughing, then begins melting, his high-pitched laugh growing deeper as he melts into a formless reddish-brown mass.

The mass swirls and crashes against the glass as the horrible laugh grows louder. More laughter from the other cells joins in.

Men, women, and other indescribable things- all in a knowing chorus. And all focused on you.


You had no idea the kind of horrible things you'd encounter here. Arkham lives up to its reputation.

Suddenly, the laughing stops.

A new chorus begins.

One of fear and rage and hate. Every voice from the cells joins in.


"BATMAN! BATMAAAAAN!"

>>42569157
"Fuck RUUUUUNNNNN"

>>42569157
Well lets just leave that alone. . . It's time to go.

>>42569157
"Definitely, not the Joker! Now, let's move! Spectacular Performance, Basil!"
Then we run!

>>42569157
>>42569204
Run, worst case scenario we start opening cages along the way, laughing as we do it of course.

>>42569241
>>42569229

This

Dude, ask Karlo who put him in there. Make sure it was Bamhan and then open all the fucking supervillain cages you can, including his.

>>42569157

There is a loud snap, and a cloud of smoke appears around you. You can't see through the smoke, but you and your allies all begin firing your guns towards the source.

The creature in the cell crashes against the reinforced door, screaming and shaking the room around him.

You hear Knock let out a grunt. There is a heavy thud from his direction, followed by the clatter from his gun.

To your right, you can see something slam against Dwayne. He staggers and falls. You fire towards the shape in the smoke, but its gone in a flash.

You hear a cry from Dottie. All the gunshots stop.


The smoke clears.

All the patients have gone quiet, Karlo settling into a pool of clay-colored liquid.

You are alone with the Batman.

He grabs you by the front of your shirt, and lifts you against the wall.


He looks at you with those dead white eyes.

"I KNEW you'd come for the girl. As soon as you started setting off bombs, I knew you'd come straight here.

Did you think you could trick people into believing you were the real Joker? Before tonight you were trying to avoid any real bloodshed. It looks like something changed your mind.

You got lazy. You got arrogant. You got scared. You're NOTHING like the real Joker."


>wat do

>>42569424
>wat do

"You mean the old Joker. I'm the new one. So what? You gonna kill me like you killed him?"

>>42569424
LAUGH HARD
I Actually Care about my Subordinates!
Spray him in the face with the Acid Flower when he processes that

>>42569424
Laugh, then activate our flower pocket.

>>42569483
Seconded, not gonna work but let's lose both arms.
Also scramble for the key/button to let Karlo out

>>42569424
release the clayface

>>42569424
"You must have me confused with someone else" then laugh and hit him with acid

>>42569424

"Yea, this bully decided to crash my party! Do you have any idea how much effort I put into that one, do you?! And then you have the spine to kidnap my Miss Gotham!"

" I hope this is worth it to you, you've caught a nothing and in return...KABOOOM. Good trade, very well done. Hope you're happy"

>>42569424
>laugh heartily
>"so I'm not evil enough? Great"
>"it was either accept being his heir or get shot and lie dead in my apartment".

>>42569424
"You're right Bats, I'm better!" Acid flower

>>42569424
>>42569483
Seconding, something along the lines of "That's because as a villain I can't just pick up any little bird off the streets"

>>42569424
"Do you really want another person like him walking the streets of gotham? I care about my subordinates, my friends!" Laugh like a man about to die, and if he get close the flower is a good idea.

>>42569424
I'm sure you miss your oldest pal but you should be expressing your grief in a healthier way Batsy.

>>42569424
"Yea, something changed alright. This bully jumped in and crashed my party, do you have any idea how much effort I put into that!?
And then you have the nerve to Kidnap my miss Gotham!? How dare you"

"But seriously now, you've traded me for a whole lot of Kaboom. Not a winning deal for either of us, wouldnt you say"

>>42569424
Waah, waah, waah, Im not your old boyfriend is all I hear Bat for brains!

>>42569524
This and the acid flower.

>>42569569
>>42569513

whops, sorry for the double post. It lagged and I assumed it simply didnt get posted due to internet magic bullcrap

Please put Quest in the title so filters can catch the thread.

Thanks.

>>42569424
"You're right. . . But do you seriously think this is how I wanted to live? Everything I've done is your fault! You put me here! You murder! You killed the last Joker, he choose me as his successor, and you don't get to say no to that position. I'm here because of you. All I'm trying to do now is take care of these people the best I can without getting myself killed." All while laughing and crying hysterically, then spit in his face.

>>42569424
>You're NOTHING like the real Joker."
>wat do

"So I'm not pretty enough for you?"

>>42569524
Say this hen spray him the face with that acid flower we still have. Do we have joker's hand cannon?

>>42569548
I think a Joker who cares is actually scarier then one who doesnt.

>>42569602
Backing this!

>>42569524
Something like this then the acid flower to the face.

Guys WE MUST RELEASE THE CLAYFACE

>>42569524
Add
>"Hey at least I haven't killed anyone"

>>42569686
We have though.

>>42569677
The fuck are you smoking nigger. Clay face is a massive liability rather than an ally. He's more likely to betray AND kill us than batman killing us.

>>42569677

Why?

>>42569700
When? Oh right, those two officers. Well joker would have done dozens of more kills at least.

>>42569620
Yea, because a Joker that cares will blow things up and kill cops and guards every damn time one of his gets arrested.
If only because they stand between him and freeing his croonies

uh

i think 4chins ate my post

Test

>>42569790

DOUBLE NIGGER

REWRITING

FFS

>>42569790
Damn

>>42569710
>>42569722
The Bamhan has us up against the wall, and that shit is classic joker. Clay hates batman more than he hates joker, as a rule.

>>42569790
>>42569812

Write up in Microsoft Word or OpenOffice or Notepad next time.

>>42569790
Ita ok, most of us are patient. And you have even more dialogue now.

We need to start focusing on countering the bat. He's just gonna keep showing up to stop us so we need to plan and hit him first

>>42569835
>>42569790
Shit I waited 2 hours past your 4PM EST deadline for this to start, I can wait 5 minutes for it to update.

>>42569886
But, batman is always prepared . ALWAYS. AAAAALLLLLLWWWWWAAAAAYYYYYYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!

>>42569812
Goddammit. I need to sleep. It's nearly 11 and I need to wake up at 5 this morning. I'll wait till this next update then I'm going the fuck to sleep.

>>42569918
We need to be more unpredictable then. And work on our joker arsenal

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>>42569424

"It was wither this or get shot and lie dead in my apartment," you cough. "At least I care about my companions."

You take a deep breath; the Batman's grip is painfully tight.

"But hey, sorry to hear about your boyfriend."

And with that, you squeeze the bulb on your acid flower.

Perhaps he didn't think you had it in you, but the spray of acid across his chest and the flecks that splash his face surprise him enough to make him loosen his grip. You wrench your shoulders, and rip your shirt, leaving him holding a shred of purple fabric.

You scramble for the release on Karlo's cell. As soon as you hit the button, a clay-colored ride pours out of the cell, knocking both you and the Batman back. The formless mass picks up the Bat and sweeps him down the hallway, both of them struggling with one another.

You are dazed, but alive.

>>42569917

yeah sorry bout that I fell asleep. I made a twitter tho

>>42569997
Ayyy told you niggers clayface was good idea
Gather up our guys and their broken bones and feckin' skedaddle after checking for the tracker(s) Bats no doubt planted on our neck/shoulders.

>>42569997
All that beautiful dialogue you just ignored......

>>42570022
It's all good man, shit happens, I'm just happy I only had to wait 2 hours instead of over a year. Looking at you SWQ.

>>42569997

Attempt to rouse your comrades as a pair of men in SWAT gear come up the hall.

"Boss, we gotta go, NOW."

You all scramble down the hall, and down the sewer access tunnel. Red and the twins are waiting. One of them is holding his arm limply.

"Are the rest of your men waiting outside?" you ask. As the group of you run. Dottie moves a bit slower due to her bare feet slipping on the filthy concrete.

"We had some excitement earlier, cap'm. We're it." says Red.

Dwayne jumps in," We can't risk trying to break out ANOTHER group, Boss."

"Don't worry about it, big guy. Ain't nobody rescuing them."

You pass a bloody smear on the concrete.


As you reach the exit to the sewers, you all climb up and out, into an awaiting electrician's van.

Four clowns, six cops, and a green-haired girl with one eye in a hospital gown. If you all walked into a bar, you might make for a funny joke.

Instead, you drive directly back to base.

>>42570211
*You attempt to rouse your comrades

>>42570211
Check for the trackers batman planted on you.

>>42570255
And on our compatriots

I feel bad for our big guy who got nailed by Croc.

The part about him struggling to carry stuff actually made me go 'Aw...'

>>42570255
Bet their bat shaped.

>>42570281
The narcissistic fucker. Probably owns a selfie stick.

>>42570211
Have a party with just our close associates and powwow about how we see our group moving forward. Get input from the people we trust.

After that, start planning tophats comeuppance

>>42570361
After we patch everyone and remember the fallen.

>Remember kiddies, its not alligators in the sewers but one crazy fucker with atavism. Fuck you Waylon Jones!

>>42570211

On the way back, Knock pulls the truck over. With a practiced professionalism, each member checks over another; backs, lapels, and shoes are all given a twice-over look.

As Dwayne looks you over, you ask why. "Trackers. Bats loves sticking trackers on guys."

"Little bat-shaped things," Adds Dottie. "About this big." She holds her fingers about the size of a penny apart.

Satisfied, the group continues back to the base.

Once everyone is back at the park in the main hall, you assess the situation. Dottie is back, but you traded the lives of four men for her.

Dwayne is looking over the wound of one of the Twins. "He needs a doctor. Knock, get some real clothes on him and take him to the clinic.

It looks bad. Might have torn a tendon." He sighs. "We might have finally decided which is Lefty."

He looks to Red. "Was it some kind of animal?"

Red is chomping a cigar again, "Looked like it. Couldn'ta been a man. But hey, we got the dame back, right? Lucky us. Looks like we won one.

Now if you'll excuse me, it's been a long day."

Red waves to the group, and leaves. Knock takes the clown now known as Lefty to get cleaned up for his visit to the clinic.

Dottie has returned to her seat, and lit a cigarette from the pack she's left behind. If it weren't for how she was dressed and the crack in her eye, it would be as if she had never been gone.

"We should have Knock do somethin' about those boys that got...lost," she says.

"Think he always gets some guys to watch their families for 'em. They did for us, and we gotta do for them," says Dwayne.

Dottie nods, and addresses you. "Thanks for the rescue Boss." She takes a drag on her cigarette. "Just...don't do it again. So...what happened while I was gone? Did anybody else not make it back?

Did somebody get Holly?"

She looks hopeful.

>what do?

>>42570775
Now we kill Top Hat. Fucking moneyClown

>>42570775
>what do?

"Holly got out before things went bad. Top Hat turned on us and went to the Penguin with his girl 'Nightjar'. Terrible name, right?"

>>42570775
"Tophat was a traitor. . . We'll make sure he get's his. Things were a little chaotic, I got shot. . . I was concerned about what happened to you. . . Has anyone heard from Holly?"

>>42570775
At some point we should buy her a replacement eye with an apple iris, after all she is the apple of our eye. HAHAHHAHAHA.

>>42570942
This

>>42570775

Ask her why she wandered off at the pageant

>>42570775
Seconding
>>42570942

>>42570942
Uh.. is she really?

>>42571058
Yes.

>>42571058
Clearly you were not in the previous threads to witness the clown porn.

>>42571058

She's our favorite, I think.

>>42571058
She's got our back, she's solid

>>42570942
Follow this up with an apple pie to the face.

>>42571058
I'd take Schizo Clown over Sadist Chemist any day.

>>42570775

"Holły got out with the Professor."

She looks disappointed.

"You ever meet a lady named Nightjar?" you ask.

"Yeah, one of Penguin's goons. Always names 'em after birds."

"Well, Top Hat brought her and a friend to visit. As we were escaping, he signed his resignation."

You undo your sleeve and reveal your bandages.

"So we can kill him now?"

"Yes Dottie, and we will."

"FINALLY." She seems satisfied. At least someone will be getting hurt.

"I have a question though, Dottie. Where were you during all this? Why did you sneak into the pageant?"

She sits bolt upright.

"I was driving up the bids, obviously. More girls meant more money."

"...But you won, Dot. We didn't get any of the money they offered for you."

She smiles. "I did win, didn't I?" She gets serious again.

"You got the money for all seven of the other girls that way."


You feel you didn't get the full truth, but you leave it at that for the moment.

"Hey Boss, it's been a long couple days. You think we can save all this for tomorrow?"

You nod, and return to your room. You are asleep as soon as you hit thr mattress.

>>42571289
>I'd take Schizo Clown over Sadist Chemist any day.

Why don't you like Professor Polly Shelby, Anon?

YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY LAIFU BEFORE YOU GET MY ONE EYEFU

>>42571335
Who?

>>42571380
I'm with this guy.

>>42571289
>not wanting MILFgele
>not wanting Fox News Waifu
>not wanting delicious strongbrown Penguin girl

>>42571380

The way you have Professor Coal act reminds me a lot of Polly Shelby from the show Peaky Blinders.

>>42571407
I dont even know if you are trolling, suicidal or just silly

>>42571407
Oh we want the Penguin girl alright. Want her head in a present box to be sent along with Top Hat's to the Penguin with a note attached telling him to politely go back to fucking with birds and not go sticking his beak where its libel to get burned off.

So are we gonna start living up to Batman's expectations now? Someone has to pay for the boys we lost

>>42571588
Fuck batman. I say as long as we do right by our boys, and make money then game on.

Guys we were talking about it last thread. We really need to work on our personal joker arsenal so that we have some slim hope of dealing with the batman.

>>42571706
We have to deal with batman. Distracting him isn't gonna work anymore.

>>42571588
Batman was the old jokers obsession. Ours is doing right by the family.
Fucking around with Bats will only hurt our family.

>>42571722
Actually learning a bit about fighting should be a priority too

>>42571751
I said that last thread.

>>42571588
>So are we gonna start living up to Batman's expectations now?

No. We're really different than the last Joker. That probably scares him that he doesn't know shit about us other than we're not the old guy.

We also need to take sometime to recover and get everyone back into shape. We need a replacement for Top Hat, I suggest a college buddy someone who we know will have our back.

>>42571301

You have a long, dreamless sleep. The next morning, you get dressed, and return to the main hall.

The Twins are back in their corner. Lefty's right arm is done up in a cast. Knock and Dwayne are having a drink nearby. Dottie has returned to her seat, and is once again wearing her eyepatch and clown makeup.

Everything's as if it's back to normal.

On television, a news report is going on, detailing yesterday's crimes.

"Yesterday, in the midst of widespread bombing, the Joker and his men broke into Arkham Asylum, and released a gas into the building from the sewer system.

Reports say the Joker allowed himself to be apprehended before the building was gassed, and released many of the patients, including the dangerous Basil Karlo, better known as "Clayface."

It is unknown the degree of damage this most recent attack has caused. This, of course, follows nearly a month of increasingly high-profile activity from Joker, leading many to wonder what he will do next.

Gotham PD, in light of this, has contracted one of Gotham University's leading experts on the Joker's chemical attacks."

The Professor appears on the screen, standing behind a podium of microphones. The police commissioner is nearby. The bottom of the screen reads, "COLLETE COAL, PHD. CHEMISTRY, GOTHAM U."

"I have no doubt," she says "that, with the support of Gotham's Police and concerned private investors from the community, that I will be able to develop a method of neutralizing the Joker's dangerous poisons. Indeed, with your support, perhaps we will someday be able to immunize all residents of Gotham from this monster's poison."

On television, everyone applauds. The screen returns to the anchors.

"Let's go to Pricilla Criss, for her analysis."

The woman you know as Holly appears on screen.

(cont)

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>>42568473

It really just means "Detached Loner". It's not too bad.

>>42571588
The weird thing is, it's his own fault. As he himself notes, until tonight, we were trying to limit casualties. Then he took people we were attached to. This is classic war of escalation.

>>42571737
One thing that bugs me is that we're unsure of the universe/timeline we're in. Because different Jokers act very differently. Hell, one of the early Jokers thought that killing was beneath him.

Personally, I've always preferred Jokers that operate on the logic presented in Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader. (Pic related)

>>42571850
>This, of course, follows nearly a month of increasingly high-profile activity from Joker, leading many to wonder what he will do next.
We need money without seeming like we are doing too many jobs for profit. How about we rob a bank and leave a single cherry pie in the center of the room, not rigged or anything, just there.

>>42571914
Leave it at the Teller's window, piping hot, with a note saying "Don't touch till after dinner." With a big kiss as a signature.

>>42571850
The professor is playing it smart good for her this lets her play both sides which I'm okay with. It's also insuring that we have to keep comibg to her for new chemicals. She's dangerously smart and seems to love having live subjects for which to test new Chemicals on. Definitely not waifu material but we should keep her close and not cross her.

>>42571914
I imagine the bomb squad will be called to examine it, or Prof. Coal's services will be hired, at great expense. Holly then reports on these frivolous expenditures of YOUR tax money and the budget might get cut, making our job easier.

Dont we still have money from our jewel heist?

>>42571942
Shes perfect waifu material, Look how close to the fire shes getting. Wont be long before shes full on harley

>>42571972
Yeah and we still need to fence those, which we can't do untill we replace tophat.

>>42571850

"Another break out from Arkham!" Says the woman. "This isn't the first, and it won't be the last. And yet every time one of these murderers is finally apprehended, the police give them in a comfortable cell until they're ready to...what? Walk right out again!?

Is there some reason we aren't executing these... 'people?' Can you even call them that? Some...ball of mud goes on a killing spree, and we just give him a vacation!

And this Joker! If the police's pet 'Bat Man' would just KILL him..."

You look at Holly on the screen as she continues reaffirming Gotham's fears. She is attractive, of that there is no doubt. She might be beautiful, even, were it not for those eyes. Hungry and predatory like an animal's.


The TV clicks off again.

"I know another dangerous criminal who needs more than a vacation..." says Dottie.


Dwayne shakes his head a bit. "Morning, Boss. Guess it's time we start deciding on our next plans, right? You still dead set on going after Topper?"

>what do you do?
>do you want to ask anyone any questions?
>do you want to start planning?
>how?

>>42571992
>do you want to start planning?

Ask if they have any ideas.

Also ask if setting a bounty on him and Nightjar would work in getting other people to take them out for us without alerting the Batman to their existence.

>>42571942
>coal
>not best waifu

>>42571954
Oh jesus, that's genius. I love this quest.

>>42571992
We should probably do something simple, like a robbery. We need capital, I think we should hire Deathstroke to kill Batman

>>42571992
Rest recuperate, Tophat knows were not dead after that arkham breakout so finding him will be a lot harder. Put the word out to all our boys everywhere to keep an eye out for him.

Make the roundup Knock and Dotties Responsibility. You know, Delegate.

While thats happening, I say we work on finding a new accountant.

>>42571850

Preddy bold of her to go on TV and declare war on us

>>42571992
"Yes I am, he owes me a new suit, he got blood all over the last one. I want to have a nice chat with him so we can figure out where he thinks his future is HEADing. I also want that bird that was with him as well, so we can talk about what sort of present to get the Penguin. I'm think a pair of heads in a box, but I don't want to be overly cliché. We'll obviously need to get a replacement for him as well. . . But we definitely need some R'n'R time as well, we've been too busy as of late we need some cool down time."

>>42571992

"I say we go have a chat with the fat bird himself. His people were with Topper, maybe he knows where Topper's gone. And birds hate a snake in the grass just as much as anyone else, so it shouldn't take too many fish to get some bones from our Penguin."

>>42572128
>>42572124

These

>>42572184
They were probably doing this on the penguins orders. Fuck talking to the bird send him a message that we're not to fucked with and he'll back down.

>>42572125
She's playing up her character, but we might want to convince her to put the spotlight on someone else for awhile. We need to shift the publics focus off of us.

>>42572209
>They were probably doing this on the Penguin's orders.

Unlikely.

OOC, Lex Luthor invites the joker to join any band of villians he composes. Not because he wants to work with the Joker, but because if you don't, and the Joker finds out, he ruins your plans out of spite.

The Penguin is, at his heart, an opportunist, and a coward. He wouldn't back a play not GUARANTEED to kill us, because he knows the Joker would burn his house down for the insult.

It's more likely that his little birds thought they could win some favor by handing the Penguin a fait accompli: "Hey, boss, we killed the Joker, and his replacement loves dealing with us!"

Now their plan has failed, and there are growing consequences. Clayface is out, so now no one can trust that anyone's who they say they are. We blew up the gates that kept Croc under Arkham, so now he's loose. The Joker, the Penguin has just heard, not only didn't die when Batman attacked him, OR when he was shot a minute later, but decided to raid Arkham just a few days later.

We don't sound hurt, or scared. We sound PISSED.

>>42571992

"Of course. He owes me a new suit. Besides, we can't just let him run off. People will get the idea they can rip off the Joker."

He nods. "One problem though, chief. When Topper skipped out, he took the accounts with him. And our deals. Our finances ain't looking so hot.

Luckily Holly set up the ransom donations through accounts she controlled to be automatic, so by the time the girls were rescued we already had the money cashed out."

"How much?" you ask.

"Not including that pile of jewelry you have to flip, and excluding recent expenses... You're looking at a little over 2 million."

"That... Is a lot of money,"

"That SEEMS like a lot of money. We gotta pay off cops, judges, and just about any business that we buy from. Discretion costs money. Plus we have to finance all the props for your crimes that have to specially-made and delivered without anyone noticing.

It all adds up, chief."

>>42572209
I have to agree with this guy, Penguin fucking overstepped his bounds sending people to re-negotiate/act as Tops bodyguards (most like).

The least we should do is send him a little something back, after all.
He gave us a pair of songbirds.

As for tops himself, hows that idea of hanging him with bungie rope from a bridge we had a thread or two back sound?

>>42572300
>but because if you don't, and the Joker finds out, he ruins your plans out of spite.
Or he waits until the heroes take care of it and shoots you in an alley.

>>42572315
You and bungie cords man, What did you think of the repetitive drowning / resuscitation only to light him on fire plan?

>>42572308
We'll just have to make sure we beat the information we need out of that Sobgbird he seems so attached to. I'm sure he'd rather die painlessly than watch as we break her bit by bit, and if that doesn't wor we'll move to his bones instead. We need their pretty face intact for Penguin's present but the rest of them should be fair enough game, we just have to do it slowly so they don't slip into shock."

>>42572308
"Topper didn't take our deals with him, Dwayne. Those deals are with the Joker gang. If people don't pay, then we remind them why they have to. All we need are the names. So we go talk to the Birdbrain, and see what he squawks. And if he doesn't know anything, then we make an offer: 50 gees to whoever brings us our missing boy. His uncle's worried sick about him. Hell, someone go find Deathstroke or Deadshot and pay him to do it. Topper rises from his hole in three days, or we get Biblical."

>>42572315
>>42572371
Really, guys? You're going about this all wrong.

One, he wears a Top Hat.

Two, he has really nice teeth.

Three, he betrayed us.

So, logically, we have to cut off his lips, Hammer 30 Silver Nails into him, and lock him in a barrel of Mercury.

Logical.

>>42572394
Would you forget talking to the penguin. He probably was told by topper that we aren't the real joker. Talking with him won't help, we need to send the coward a fucking message first before we try to have words withbhim otherwise we're just going to get ourselves killed. We don't have the money for mercs atm so forget those as well.

>>42572437
Quaint. The kids will love it, put it on air.

>>42572437
I can see it, We could also do a mad hatter rendition of 20 different torture apparatus' and then just yell out change places every so often

>>42572437
If he hadn't shot us I'd be down with that, but he did and now we have rival gangs to worry about. Sending he's head to a rival boss sends a clear message that we are just as ruthless as our predecessor and gets them off our back.

>>42572308

"I guess we need a new accountant," you say. "Any ideas?"

Dwayne shrugs. "Holly, I guess." Dottie makes a retching sound. "I know, I know. But without Topper she's our only big white collar connection. She can probably find us somebody who knows how to stay quiet."

"...But what if we need someone who isn't under Holly's thumb? I don't want her running off with our money like Topper. What about the University again? It worked with Coal, after all."

"I suppose so, " he says. "But someone else might not be like her. They might run for help. At least with Holly they'll be used to the way things work."

You weigh both options, and continue.

"Dottie, take Knock and get the boys looking for Topper and the others. We need them found, but not dead. Yet."

"I think," you say, "we should go visit the Birdbrain, and see what he squawks. I want to know whether Topper was working under orders, or if he was trying to buy his way into Penguin's favor."

Dottie speaks up. "...and what if he knows?"

"We have to do this sooner or later," you say. "I didn't get where I am today by trying to plan ahead."

>>42572486
Whether Im the original joker, or the new joker, the fact remains that I am the Joker.

And Aint Nobody Crosses the Joker.

>>42572443
You never really did much with Batman comics, did you? Directly talking to each other is the main way that the various personalities interact.

And so what if Topper did say that? It's his word against The Joker's. One of those names raided fucking Arkham yesterday. One of them has tussled with the Bat twice this week. The other tried to shoot a man in the dark and failed. Of course he's going to claim I'm not me, otherwise he knows you wouldn't be STUPID enough to try and hold onto him from ME. He's a fucking traitor, and a liar, and he's playing you for a fat fucking stooge, Birdbrain. But fine, don't. Keep the poisonous little snake. But you're taking my toys, Penguin, and I don't like sharing. Guess I'll take a few of yours.

>>42572486
Tell our people, if we don't come back from the meeting, we're offering a going away sale: 3 grand to anyone who kills a fence, thief, thug, or general degenerate whose name is or contains a bird.

Let the Penguin squawk.

>>42572543
>>42572524

Mix of these

>>42572474
Oh, I didn't intend in anyway for that to be privately done. Hell, I'm still trying to figure out how we can do this on a skyscraper.

Alternatively, we could make all the gang leaders lovely leather top hats! Well, running the math, only like, 3 leaders could get a Top-Hat Top Hat before we ran out of skin.

>>42572543
Not really so I'll have to take your word for it. I'm just concerned about keeping us ticking. I do like your insurance idea it's a good one, but it'll only worj if birdbrain knows we have it, so it should be in our opening line disguised bu colorful jokes but clear all the same.

Seriously guys if the Bat keeps popping up we're gonna keep getting our shit pushed in. We need anti-batman personnel, can we hire Deathstroke or another merc of comparable quality?

>>42572614
Need some serious cash flow for that, which we don't have. Mercs are a dumb idea at the moment.

>>42572637
never said right now, but we need to keep the option open.

>>42572597
Now this I like.

>>42572614
We need some villains who hate batman a fucking lot
Evil justice league when?

>>42572443
Deathstroke has been known to work for 250,000 and less. He's not actually out of our reach, as long as we get our financial network back fairly quickly. But I hold that as a last-ditch effort.

>>42572605
Yeah, it's one of the weird bits of the DC universe. It's kind of a long-standing holdover from the 30s and 40s, when meeting was legitimately the easiest way to communicate without being intercepted, but the various Gotham gang heads physcially meet up with impressive regularity. It's even more baffling because it tends to go like this:

"Joker offers other leader a deal"
"Other leader refuses, threatens joker."
"Joker reveals deadly surprise or costly revenge mechanism"
"Other leader reluctantly agrees."
And no one ever stops taking meetings with the Joker. I assume it's partly because, hey, dude tends to not be in it for the cash, so free payday, and one part the whole Lex Luthor thing. You talk to the Joker, or he MAKES YOU.

But generally speaking, things between the gang leaders tend to be cordial. Hell, at least one cartoon states they all play cards at semi-frequent intervals, and various comics suggest they have semi-regular social interactions.

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>>42572667
Well we did just free Croc and Clayface...

I don't think they will cooperate with us well.

We might be dead.

>>42572486

Dottie and Knock spread a dragnet over the city, and Spike manages incoming information. Spike is able to get a little information- seems "Top Hat" is actually William Winston, an official at a local brokerage firm- the Winston Brokerage firm, actually.

"Put in a call to his office," says Spike. "Seems like he's on vacation. Probably laying low. The fact that he didn't skip out completely makes me think he's planning on going back."

Dwayne makes the call, and tells you a location. "We'll be meeting at neutral ground," he tells you. "Penguin doesn't like having us around his club, and you wouldn't want to be in his turf anyway."

That night, you head to to a small, unsuspecting bar in the middle of Gotham, and enter through the back, Dwayne and four men following.

Inside, seated at small table, you see a small, fat man with an oversized nose wearing a tophat and monacle, a pair of beautiful ladies standing just behind him, guns at the ready. Nightjar is seated at his right.


>what do you do?

>>42572716
Greet him cordially, Make a joke about birds, and then get straight to the point.

>>42572716
>wearing a tophat
some clever reference to this, I'm spent of clever ideas after the clipboard and pie.

We should determine a password system so that Clayface can't just waltz into our place.

>>42572716

Joyous and flamboyant, for the moment.

"PENGY, baby, so good to see you. It's been AGES, darling, ages. I see your little chick got back to your nest. Excellent. I was going to return her to you safe as houses, but the Bat threw the whole evening off-kilter. Why, we didn't even get to open the champagne! The night was ruined. How goes the owning what Bruce Wayne doesn't want business?"

>>42572716
We need to mention our insurance and make a vaguely threating joke about the state of things before getting into the meat and potatoes with the ol' suited waddler.

>>42572802
Also we need to refer to him as that in the conversation some where.

>>42572716
"Yadda Yadda, set-up about birds and beaks, let's get to the punchline. You have a monocled traitor I want, I have a bunch of repressed homicidal tendencies and some prime-time reputation to sell you. How does cutting the news with ads for your business sound? You might be thinking, why would this madman give me this for a weasely accountant?"

"Because I have a chip on my shoulder. And it's about an inch wide."

Then laugh.

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>>42572716

"PENGY, baby, so good to see you. It's been AGES, darling, ages!"

You lay it on thick. You want him on edge.

"I see your little chick got back to your nest. Excellent. I was planning to return her to you safe as houses, but the Bat threw the whole evening off-kilter. Why, we didn't even get to open the champagne! The night was completely ruined!"

"But enough about all that. Tell me, how goes the owning what Bruce Wayne doesn't want business?"

He chews his cigarette holder. "Just what's all this about, Joker?"

"Now hold on there, tall dark and handsome. I've had all my people out birdwatching all evening. Maybe I just wanted to spot a rare bird?"

He lets out a croak-like grunt. "Birdwatching, eh?"

"Of course. Although if I don't show up later to call it off, they might decide to have a barbecue instead."

"So it's a threat, ey?" His girls start to raise their guns.

"Of course not, my little friend. Just insurance.

One of my men showed up the other night with your girl there, trying to renegotiate some deal. And then he shot me. Do you realize how this looks?

I want answers, Penguin, and I want Top Hat."

Thread has been Archived
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=gotham

>>42572935
>>42572990
You calling it here?

>>42573002
what? I just archived it for him

>>42572935

Penguin looks to Nightjar. She looks panicked.

"Mister Cobblepot! I never..." He throws up a hand to interrupt her.

He addresses you. "You mean the Winston boy, I take it? He's always with my men directly. We move cargo for you, your men... Get their hands dirty for us."

He snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray, and Nightjar has another ready for him immediately. He lights it with a match.

"But...ah, you already knew all that...Right?" And he looks you in the eyes.

"...So imagine my surprise when the Winston boy came and tells me there's been a... shake-up in the Joker's gang. Tells me I need to make sure you aren't looking to back out on our turf agreements."

"And yet you didn't come yourself. You sent your goons."

"I know that I can trust my men. A pity you can't say the same. And you know I like to keep my hands clean. I can't be seen in a sewer, after all. I have a reputation to uphold. WAARK WAARK WAARK," he laughs.

>what do you say?

>>42573065
Try not to laugh at his ridiculous penguin sounds

>>42573065
>I can't be seen in a sewer, after all. I have a reputation to uphold.
Neither can the Croc now that he's free, guess Croc are... back in style HAHAHAHHAHA, -stage whisper aside to Dwayne- were they ever in style?

>>42573065
Hmm...
What should we do with him?
Should we take nightjar as an insurance?
Just say we borrow her because we cant trust our men...especially after tophat

>>42573065
"Oh my, i will put quest on the title next time, its the 4th time in a row i'm being a faggot."

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>>42573065
>He snuffs out his cigarette in the ashtray, and Nightjar has another ready for him immediately. He lights it with a match.

We need to use this to kill him eventually just so we can drop the punchline "Careful, those things will kill you HA HA HA HA HA!"

>what do you say?
"Don't you worry your beaked little head about Winston, Joker always gets the last laugh. What you should worry about is what will happen if I find out you knew where he was and didn't tell me."
>Big Joker Grin

>>42573065
Laugh with him.

"Oh, come now, Penguin, you know I have no head for numbers. And no taste for subtlety. If I wanted to change our deal, I'd have sent you cake with a bomb in it, or dropped one of your fences through a skylight."

Sigh melodramatically.

"The problem with hiring degenerates and psychopaths, sometimes they can be so unreliable. Top Hat, or Winston, or whatever his name was, thought he was good enough to play on our level."

Lean in conspiratorially.

"Bit of megalomania, there, I think. Started claiming I wasn't the "Real" Joker anymore. That since my last run-in with the bat, I was a "different person". Tell me, Penguin, do I look different? Parades down the street, raids on Arkham? I'm still little ol' me."

Lean back in our chair.

"So he gets it in his head that I'm not the Joker anymore, and makes a move. Normally, I wouldn't mind. Be proud, really. Nothing like shooting your boss to shake up the status quo. But then he runs off with all the names and the numbers and who we do what for...I tell you, anyone who says crime doesn't pay should talk to one of our accountants, ey? Anywho, I want him back, so I can sort out this whole mess, and then...probably shoot him out of a cannon into the harbor. Croc's out now, maybe he'll get himself a Top Hat Snack."

"I just wanted to make sure your little Chickadee here wasn't hunting under orders. If we're at war, I'll need a better suit!"

>>42573101
Crocs* damn, horrible shoe pun wasted.

>>42573132
Oh my, its you again. 4th time being a shitposter or do you shit up other threads as well?

I hope op continues to spite you

>>42573065

These two seems to bring out the fear
>>42573142
>>42573158

>>42573158
>>42573101
This

>>42573158
Fucking this

>>42573101
That's meta-knowledge, we don't know who or what the thing in the sewer was. In fact, we weren't even there.

>>42573065

The Penguin continues, "So I'm terribly sorry to disappoint you, you great painted buffoon. Though you may have had a cuckoo in your nest, he wasn't one of mine."


Though the Penguin is a crook, you believe you can trust his words... Though the way he speaks to you makes you uncomfortable. He knows more than he is letting on.

You crank your act into high gear.

"Of course, Penguin, you know I have no head for numbers. And no taste for subtlety. If I wanted to change our deal, I'd have sent you cake with a bomb in it, or dropped one of your fences through a skylight."


You sigh, "You know, Penguin, the problem with hiring degenerates and psychopaths, sometimes they can be so unreliable. Top Hat, or Winston, or whatever his name was, thought he was good enough to play on our level."

You lean in to the Penguin conspiratorially.

"Bit of megalomania, there, I think. Started claiming I wasn't the "Real" Joker anymore. That since my last run-in with the bat, I was a "different person". Tell me, Penguin, do I look different? Parades down the street, raids on Arkham? I'm still little ol' me."


You lean back again. "So little Willy gets it in his head that I'm not the Joker anymore, and makes a move. Normally, I wouldn't mind. Be proud, really. Nothing like shooting your boss to shake up the status quo. But then he runs off with all the names and the numbers and who we do what for...I tell you, anyone who says crime doesn't pay should talk to one of our accountants, ey? Anywho, I want him back, so I can sort out this whole mess, and then...probably shoot him out of a cannon into the harbor. "

"I just wanted to make sure your little Chickadee here wasn't hunting under orders. If we're at war, I'll need a better suit!"


The Penguin blinks for a moment, then motions to the girl behind him. "What are you babbling about? Chickadee's been with me the whole time!"


(cont)

>>42573223
Damnit, I worked hard on that shoe pun.

>>42573266
It was a quality pun, anon. Almost Carlos-worthy.

>>42573264
"Penguin, you can't take all the bird names for your people. How else am I to make jokes? Inconsiderate of you."

>>42573307
This.

>>42573264

Before you have a chance to try and salvage your joke, you hear shouting from the bar. Gunshots ring out, and the Penguin ducks beneath the table.

A group of burly men kick in the doors, all carrying guns. You hear gunshots outside the other exit.

You're trapped.

Nightjar flips the table in front of the cowering Penguin and kneels behind it, pulling a handgun. Chickadee and the other girl run to the sides, opening fire on the men.

>Roll 5d6 for the Penguin's birds
>and quick, tell me what YOU do?!

>>42573264
Point to Nightjar "I'm meant her, whatever it is you call her, I can't seem to keep all the bird names straight in my head. My next gues was going to be dodo seriously, because as you know anyone who tries to fuck arpund with me winds up pushing daisy sooner or later. You might want to keep an eye on that one probably caught sticky pie fingers from Topper if you catch my drift."

Rolled 2, 6, 1, 5, 5 = 19 (5d6)

>>42573334
Pull the sawed-off shotgun we're concealing beneath our trench?

Rolled 4, 1, 4, 2, 4 = 15 (5d6)

>>42573334

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>>42573264
>"What are you babbling about? Chickadee's been with me the whole time!"

God damn it penguin

Rolled 5, 5, 2, 5, 1 = 18 (5d6)

>>42573344
Scratch that dive for cover. " Friendz of yours Pengy or uninvited guests?"

Rolled 2, 5, 3, 2, 6 = 18 (5d6)

>>42573334
"I knew one day Gotham would get a Lumberjack gang! I knew it! Shoot them! But leave at least one alive! This town needs more diversity!"

Have our 5 guys fire as well, as we jump to cover.

>>42573334
Do we have a gun?

>>42573381
We should our boys wouldn't leave us alone unless we wete carrying at least some form of heat.

>>42573334

A pair of the men in the front of the group stagger and fall. Nightjar pegs one of them through the throat; he drops his gun and clutches for his neck. A few more of the masked goons step into the room- red and black ski masks cover their faces, the colors split down the middle.

"Friends of yours, Shortround?" you ask.

The Penguin reaches for his umbrella. "I can assure you, sir, that the company I keep is of a much higher class." He stands up, holds his umbrella over the table, and opens it, spraying a choking gas towards the attackers.

"And furthermore, associates of mine would be MUCH better behaved! WAARK WAARK WAARK!"


Behind you, the other door is kicked open- one or your men you left outside falls in, dead, as more of the masked goons enter.

"D! Men! Open fire! I knew one day Gotham would get a Lumberjack gang! I knew it! Shoot them! But leave at least one alive! This town needs more diversity!"

The men open fire on the gang, and you duck to the side for cover, readying the shotgun the men had prepared for you earlier.

>roll 3d6

Rolled 3, 5, 3 = 11 (3d6)

>>42573472
Also we should be shooting at them too. We arr armed, right?

Rolled 3, 5, 3 = 11 (3d6)

>>42573472

Short Round is a nice line.

Rolled 5, 3, 5 = 13 (3d6)

>>42573472

>>42573495
>>42573492

God damn. The dice gods have spoken

>>42573492
>>42573495
>>42573503
What the fuck is with these numbers?

>>42573492
>>42573495
Wut
>>42573503
Wat

>>42573472

You lean out and fire your shotgun into the crowd of gangsters, then duck back behind cover.

You hope you got lucky.

Finally, it seems that the attackers have stop coming. Dwayne comes to make sure you are okay.

The Penguin is prodding one of the men with his umbrella.

"I would wager we both have the same stool pigeon to thank for this," says the Penguin.

"This doesn't make sense. Why would he attack both of you out of nowhere? I've barely seen his boys on the street in months, " says Dwayne.

"For the last couple of weeks we've had a few of them sniffing around the Lounge," says Nightjar.

"Yes..." Says Penguin. "Not long after your boy Winston came trying to sell a new status quo..."

He looks around for his cigarette holder, and finds the cigarette at its end snapped in half. Nightjar prepares him another and lights it.

"Its seems your boy Winston has been making friends..."

>what do you ask?

>>42573652
What kind of birdbrained scheme does he have cooked up now? HA. HAHAHAHHAHA.

>>42573652
"Yes, well, with friends like these, who needs enemies? HAHAHAHA!"

>>42573681
Attacking two of Gotham's greats at once? Wonder how he'll, TOP this one. HAHAHAHA.

>>42573472
>I knew one day Gotham would get a Lumberjack gang
Were they wearing flannel?
Or were they wearing suspenders, high heels, and a bra?

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>>42573699
If he made it three, it would be a hat trick

>>42573652

"You know, I thought the boy was a mite Two-Faced, but I never thought he'd go to the half-man himself."

>>42573652
"Well I was going to make myself a new Hat, I suppose you'll be wanting one too? I'm sure there's enough of him to make at least two fancy new leather hats, of coutse leather doesn't breath well so it would only be worn a specail occasions. If our bussiness is concluded I'd to get started on that right now." Point to Nightjar "Whatever your name is, were you in on the trouble that Topper is trying to stir up or were you just a stool pigeon he left behind to take some of the blame? Your answrr determines whether or not I add some you feathers to my new hat."

>>42573774
course* worn on* answer*

>>42573774
>>42573787
*some of your

Sorry about that typing on my phone.