>LAST ISSUE>>42564010>ISSUE #3>>42542124>ISSUE #2>>42512575>ISSUE #1>>42501442>A typical psyche student at Gotham U is forced to take on the role of the Joker.>Your break-in to Arkham to release your captured companion resulted in a tangle with Batman, Clayface, Killer Croc, and Penguin.>Now looks like you're set to go up against Two-Face next. All thanks to a traitorous accountant.>The Rules>Write stuff snd make suggestions. Sometimes there are dice rolls, maybe.>Check for updates on Twitter at GothamQM@QMGothamThe night passes. The next day, you dress yourself and go to the central meeting place of yor base beneath the funhouse of the old amusement park. For the last month, this place has been you home, just as it is to many of the gang members you've come to think of as friends.And now there is one more. Nightjar, the Penguin's girl. Sent to ensure the old bird's interests in the matter of Top Hat's capture. Or at least, that's what he said.You have no question that she's also here to keep an eye on you. You can't be sure how much she or Penguin know- whether Top Hat warned them that you were't the real Joker. The woman, a dark-haired, tanned and toned woman in her ealy thirties, was a nervous wreck last night. She seems to have regained her composure this morning, however; currently, she is looking over a map with Dottie and Knock, pointing out locations your new rival gang has been operating in recently."Morning, chief," says Dwayne. "Figured you'd want to sleep a little later after the party last night. The others are already trying to track down some of Two-Face's operations. His boys have been on the down low for a couple months now; barely heard a peep from them. Guess they decided to come back in a big way."(cont)
>>42585607He shrugs. "Can't do nothing 'till we have more to go on though. And right now we have a more pressing issue." He takes you aside, away from earshot of Nightjar. "Finances. You know we're practically running on fumes now. You given any thought to my suggestions?"You nod. The old Joker hadn't given much thought to finances, and had left Top Hat in sole charge of all accounts and contracts. When he left, so did they money.You have to find a new accountant, and soon. Dwayne had suggested you use Holly and her white collar connections to recruit someone. Although they'd be discreet, you might never be sure if they're in Holly's pocket or yours.You had suggested another kidnapping from Gotham U, after your success with recruiting Professor Coal- a chemist of dubious morality. Of course, there's no way of knowing if your potential recruit will play nice, or if they will run straight to the police."Any ideas, chief?" asks Dwayne.>what do you do?>you could pick one of the two ideas offered, or come up with a new idea.>do you want to ask anyone questions first?
>>42585646>>do you want to ask anyone questions first?We could ask Nightjar who helps the Penguin with his finances, this is probably going to lead nowhere but it might not hurt to ask.
>>42585646You have an idea. "Say, Nighthawk," you ask, walking over to her. "Who does the Penguin's books? I'm in the market for a new accountant."She stands up straight, trying to make herself more intimidating. "Mister Cobblepot has a network of professionals to handle his finances, not just one person. A great deal of his business is strictly legitimate. Anything else, he makes sure to oversee himself.">wat do
>>42586049Man I fucking loved that movie>On land you may command, on sea it is me!The joker was A+ in that shit.Why not try to find accountants/money guys just out of jail for non-embezzling related crimes? They couldn't find a job anywhere else, so they'd need/owe us and they wouldn't run to the cops (or be trusted even if they did) Seems like a solid idea
>>42586049Go to both Holly and GU and get them to compete for the spot.Or go to jail for some guys in need
>>42586194Thank god I don't have to make all the decisions, this is a good idea. We can put our feelers out and look for someone who needs to be hired.
>>42586049>Forgot trip"Wait, I've got it!" You turn to Dwayne. "The jail! We find someone just out of jail! Somebody who's been in trouble. An embezzler or something. Nobody will let them touch money again, right? So we offer them a job.""So...wait a second chief. You want somebody who was arrested for stealing money....""Right.""...To handle your money?" He seems... Skeptical.
>>42586374Dude would have to have huge balls to try that on the joker, like amazingly huge balls
>>42586374Nigger what are you doing. >just out of jail for NON-EMBEZZLING RELATED CRIMESIt doesn't fucking matter if we put a gun to his head, embezzlers have proven that they can't be trusted to make a rational Risk-Benefit analysis when it comes to cash. Fuck it though, just go ahead. Tell him to find somebody who got real fucked up by prison, had a hard time of it, etc, and really dominate him the second he gets in. Think of the orange-shirt cyborg dude from the new(er) Dredd film
>>42586374find someone with a family, its one thing to mess with the joker, quite another if everyone you love will be in the line of fire
You know, after we kill Topper, it'll be pretty easy to convince anyone who works our money to not fuck with us.As long as it is high-profile.
>>42586649>As long as it is high-profile.>implying we won't put what's left of him afterwards in his own hat and deliver it to Two-Face>>42586419>really dominate him the second he gets in.To clarify, treat him real nice, give him great food, wine, show him an amazing apartment, make it clear he won't want for anything so long as he works for you. Then (gently) place a knife between his legs and let him know exactly what happened to topper, play by play. Maybe take him out to a movie and show him, really get that effect.
>>42586374"Alright, alright. I know how it sounds," you say. "We just make sure he knows not to fuck with us.""But, Boss...""He isn't wrong, you know..." Nightjar jumps in, continuing to make marks on the map. She's been listening. "A professional is what you need, and you need someone with a very particular set of skills. And if you can find someone desperate enough to jump in bed with you lot... Well, so much the better.""And," you add, "anyone willing to rip off the Joker would need huge balls. Amazingly huge balls."Dwayne begins to protest, but gives up. "...I'll get Spike to check the police listings."Several hours later, Spike calls in. You've struck gold. Earlier this month, a man names Orson Weatherby was released from a while-collar prison out of state after a two year sentence for money laundering."He was an accountant," Spike tells you. "Just like you wanted. Seems there were some deals going on under the table at his company, and he took the heat for it.""Well then, " you tell Dwayne. "Let's go and visit our new friend. And let's get a nice 'Welcome Home' gift for him on the way..."
>>42586823On the way downtown, both you and Dwayne stop by to pick up a gift basket and bottle of wine, then go to the man's address.You arrive at a small, crumbling apartment complex, far from the wealthy, or even middle class, accommodations you'd expect from a man in finance."Alright, we're here," says Dwayne. You put on your best Joker smile, and the two of you go to the man's third floor apartment.You knock. You hear locks unlatch inside, and the door opens a crack. A meek "...h...hello?" comes from inside.You quickly stick your foot into the crack, and push the door open. Inside is a small, bookish looking man in his early forties in coke-bottle glasses."Evenin' Orson!" you say with a smile.The man faints dead away.>oops
>>42587022Bring him to the hideout, also close his door its only polite
>>42585607>that fucking picI'm dying
>>42587022QM you have no Idea how much I love you right now if that's what he looks like. No reason to be rude, let's pick him up and get him comfortable until he wakes up. Then we can discuss business, maybe we should make him a pot of coffee?
>>42587117Oh, god, I hadn't even looked at it.That's amazing.
>>42587098I think the Hideout might be too soon, let's talk to him in his apartment give him time to calm down.
So do we know what our next skit will be?
>>42587274This but set up tea and scones. And pull the whole mafia shtick. We've got an offer he can't refuse.
>>42587323Dentist visit with Top Hat about the dangers of tooth decay that comes from fucking with the Joker?
>>42587371We're just too sweet to be a sucker.
>>42587132Agreed, best to lay things out on his home turf where he'll be at least marginally comfortable. We take him to our seat of power and make the pitch there, we're looking at a prisoner looking to escape, as opposed to a willing employee. Also if he brings up us killing him:"Orson, Orson, Orson," You shake your head back and forth, "When I do things, there's always a punchline, a reason to laugh in the end. Kicking a schlub like you when he's down isn't funny at all. No class to it m'boy. Now if you were riding high on the hog, I might find it amusing to render you down and make sausages..." Stop, tap our chin thoughtfully. "Dwayne, make a note to keep that on the back burner for the next time PETA has some bigwigs in town will you? Now where was I... ah yes. Really Weatherby, you and I are in position to do each other quite the favor. I get an accountant that I won't have to eviscerate messily on live television, and you get a position that gives you a dash of adventure while still mostly remaining within your comfort zone, and allows you to make what you deserve." Smile genially at him. "So, whadda ya say?"
>>42587371Afterwards we can send his corpse to a taxidermist so that penguin can have his hat rack.
>>42587022"Well...Damn," is all you can manage to say. You let yourself into the apartment, and make yourself comfortable at the table. You have Dwayne go try to put on a pot of coffee, but there is none in the kitchen. Indeed, most of the apartment is fastidiously bare; only a few pieces of tastelessly styled and cheap furniture, a small bookshelf, and an out of date PC furnish the small studio. The couch has a few blankets on it, but it seems the resident has made an attempt to make his "bed" as neatly as possible. The small air conditioner in the window buzzes.After waiting a few minutes, Dwayne attempt to rouse the man. When he wakes, you think he might pass out again."DON'T! DON'T KILL ME!" he whines. He tries to shout it, but his voice cracks. You have to get control of the situation. Dwayne easily picks up the man and puts him to his feet. You try to calm the man, and pour two glasses of the wine."Orson, Orson, Orson," You shake your head back and forth, "When I do things, there's always a punchline, a reason to laugh in the end. Kicking a schlub like you when he's down isn't funny at all. No class to it m'boy. Now if you were riding high on the hog, I might find it amusing to render you down and make sausages..."You stop, and tap your chin thoughtfully. "Dwayne, make a note to keep that on the back burner for the next time PETA has some bigwigs in town will you?"The man doesn't laugh. In fact, his face turns nearly as white as your own."Now where was I... ah yes. Really Weatherby, you and I are in position to do each other quite the favor. I get an accountant that I won't have to eviscerate messily on live television, and you get a position that gives you a dash of adventure while still mostly remaining within your comfort zone, and allows you to make what you deserve."You try to smile genially at him. "So, whadda ya say?"
Okay, so what gadgets do we have on us, and do we still have the vandals, and if so, what does it look like?
>>42587674>9000hrs.jpg"I...I appreciate your offer, s...sir, but I... Think I am quite content."Dwayne sits him in the chair across from you, but remains standing behind him. You pass him the glass, and he takes it in an unsteady hand.He downs it in one go."...I...Think I have had m...more than enough adventure for one lifetime, t...thank you.">wat do
>>42587775are you trying to kill me QM jesus christ
>>42587775Kill him.Make sure to mutilate his body then put it into the street in a funny pose.
>>42587775Oh pox on that Weatherby. I'm offering you a chance of a lifetime. Stare directly into his eyes. Besides I want you and that's it. I need a new accountant after the old one has a serious case of he pissedmeoff.
>>42587775In a false mafia don accent. "I don't think uou understand Orson, I'm makin' you an offer you can't refuse, capiche?"
>>42587775"Orson my dear little man, you live in a shit hole of a flat sleeping on your damn couch. Arn't you angry? Don'tcha want what you really deserve? Come and work for me and you'll be rolling in doe, besides ">>42587870""
>>42587775I just want to ask him about his adventures then tell him some of ours
Friendly reminder that this is our only true eyefu
>>42588019Also shameless plug on my side
>>42588043Nice, Dottie is awesome.
>>42587775You frown at the man, and look him in the eyes."I need an accountant, Weatherby. I need someone I can trust. I looked into your history, Orson. I need someone with your unique skillset.""B...but I didn't do it!" studders the man. He squeezes the wine glass. The bulb snaps from the stem and crashes to the floor. "I...I mean I did it, but not on purpose! Mister Shrader had all of us fixing his accounts! I...I was just the one he blamed!"He stiffens, and tries his best to look stern. He is still shaking like a scared puppy."I...I won't be going back to jail. Thank you for your offer Mister Jo...J...Sir, but I will have to refuse.You look around the sad little room, and motion to it all."Look at yourself, Orson. You're sleeping on a couch. Is this what you want? I'm sure you understand that you'll never work in finance again. And what else are you planning to do, Weatherby? Start a nice career in construction?"You screw your face into a comical scowl, pinch your fingers, and do your best Brando impression. "I'm makin' you an offa you can't refuse."Your face becomes deadly serious again."And I MEAN that.""Besides," you add with a smile. "I have some of my employees on the lookout for a good friend of mine who has gone missing. I...might be able to convince them to look for your friend too. ...Shrader, was is?"He stops shaking for a bit. "...Max. Maxwell Schrader.""Well, Orson my boy. I will see to it that you are reunited with dear old Maxie... IF you agree to join my little family."He thinks about it for a long moment. The timid little man has nothing left, and you've just offered him revenge on the man that took it from him."...And I'll just be doing accounts? Just like before? I won't have to... Hurt anybody?""Not unless you want to." You offer him a hand, and a friendly smile. He takes it, and shakes it limply.
>>42588395Score one spineless accountant!
>>42588466Dude's going to crack marvelously one day.Twenty bucks says he full-body tackles Batsy out of a moving train or some shit.
>>42588466Little accountants are best accountants.Too feeble to ever turn on you, but with ample leverage in the emotions department to do your dirty work, and even take pride in it, provided you make them not feel like a small and helpless little man anymore.>>42588499That's the day we give him his make up and clown nickname. Provided he survives.
>>42588461His mouth looks like a flowing lava river in DF.
>>42588499The only thing more terrifying than the Joker?The Joker who inspires true loyalty in place of fear.
>>42588566I fee like to do that we need to get a new wardrobe, maybe some nice modern suits in the joker's colors
>>42588566>The only thing more terrifying than the Joker?A villain who doesn't rely on his opponent refusing to kill him?
>>42588609To be fair, the joker gets shot at by the police and FBI pretty much constantly, so its not all luck of the draw regarding the hero.
>>42588645In a city noted for the incompetence of its law enforcement and a story loaded with plot armor, sure.
>>42588566>the only thing more terrifying than the jokerA joker that uses gadgets and elaborate traps instead of basic-bitch pistols and knives.I miss old joker.
>>42588693We really do need to up the crazy notch in our next schemes.Also of note: we need to play with the bat more. Setting all the bombs off at once last time didn't go so well. Bat's needs hope and a compelling reason to play our games.
>>42588693>>42588747We just start ascending to be the joker. The bats unlock the gate that hold our safety concern for people
>>42588747Just go for a walk.Do nothing "strange", just go for a walk.Keep a couple people with us, and go get a hot-dog or something.Bats will be so busy trying to over analyze that we aren't doing anything that he'll ignore everything else.
>>42588395You shake the little man's hand energetically."THAT'S the spirit, Orson! Welcome aboard! I'll have everything sent over, quick as a whip!""A...and nobody will know, right?" he says quickly. The reality of what he's done has yet to have fully dawned on him."Not a soul outside the family," you assured him. "You'll be like the weird uncle we don't talk about in company." You give him a wink, a tip of the hat, and both you and Dwayne are on your way."That one's gonna crack," says Dwayne. "I can tell. Feel bad for the guy.""We'll keep him out of things, " you tell him. "We just need a numbercruncher.""Yeah, but I can't help feelin' for him, you know? That coulda been me not to many years ago," he says."See?" you say. "You turned out just fine!"You return to base, riding high on a night's work well done.When you arrive, though, everyone is scrambling and shouting in the main hall. Something is going down."What's going on?" you ask one of the nearby men. "Where are Knock and Dot?""Trouble down at the docks!" he says. "Two-Face's boys hit one of our warehouses!">wat do?
>>42588747Oooh I know we can kidnap Lous Lane. . . wait thats the wrong caped crusader isn't it.What we need to do is have a villains get together, a power powwow of evil doers and ne'er do wells.
>>42588747screw the bat, he straight up murdered god knows how many prior jokers, the hell if this particular batman isn't out for blood.seriously, alot of the reason joker gets caught is because we keep getting caught in the bats shit, we should just not screw around when dealing with him because we will die otherwise.
>>42588747Lets host a lottery, maybe in a mall or movie theater. Basically whoever wins doesn't get to die from laughter.
>>42588883>a joker>staying dead
>>42588910>implying thats just not new jokers>implying batman isn't a serial killer by this point.
>>42588875Pull some ridiculous weapon out of our ass as see what's up.>>42588876I wonder who we would invite.I personally think we should go with a group of people just as unpredictable and/or crazy as us (Zsasz, Mr. Nobody, Baytor, and the like) just so Batsy or anyone else would be tying their own brain into nooses just to figure out what the point is.
>>42588883You missed the point anon.Playing with the bat means we do more elaborate and time consuming shit that keeps him busy while real business is done elsewhere, while trying to keep out of his grasp as much as possible. If we keep going as he have been, without dedicated distractions, he will catch us.We can't ignore him, because the obsessive stalker won't just ignore us.
>>42588875Well we'll just have to hit him where it hurts, the coin purse. We have to find a way to have a sit down discussion with the scar faced split personalty freak. Maybe take his lucky coin so he doesn't get shooty.
>>42588875Keep an eye out for the batsGet the fat whiz to check the radioWe got some two faced traitor to killor we go reinforced the dockYer choice tg
>>42588875I feel this calls for fucking up something of two-faces. He's had us on the back foot for a while now. Time to play.We should know one of his major clubs or warehouses, someplace with lots of business. Lets go do some home-designs and redecorate the place in arsenic laced paint.
>>42588999no anon what i mean is the joker is classical for basically giving mercy to the ass.like overly elaborate shit that bats can easily get out of.don't do that, just go with shit that could potentially actually get rid of his ass.like damn, hes probably one of the worst things for us right now.
>>42589039I think the reason Two-face is hitting us right now is because he is operating under some false assumptions, we need to disillusion him of these, and the best way to do that is to play dentist with tge smarmy git feeding it to him. We need to get our hands on Top Hat. We can deal with Dent after that.
>>42589106What I meant was tally-knife, but the grub is probably a better team player anyway.So let's go with him.
>>42589153I am fine with deadly deadly shit for the bats. So long as it is tasetfully joker style.
>>42589175by two faced traitor, i mean tophat playing harvey like a goddamn fiddle
>>42589153>confront batman on live television>monologue about some bullshit evil plan with a gun in our hand>we shoot him mid sentence when his guard is down>continue to explain our increasingly convoluted plotNow that's comedy!
>>42589153>>42589189 But again you have to play the game. Instead of setting off 20 bombs, have them lead off one after the other so he has to follow them or innocents die. Now exchange this for say breaking into the zoo and riding the prized elephant into the city park for a fun family day for all.
>>42589253this is amazing, i love this, it would honestly be a great end to the bats.
>>42588875"Get me a gun, Dwayne." you say. "Are you plannin' on going in as backup?" he asks."No," you say. "We're going to hit one of his operations. Dot and Knock can handle his goons themselves. We need to make sure Two-Face knows he can't get away with this."He nods. "Double Edge.""...What?" you ask, as he leads you to the back room. He begins opening a box, and hands you a tremendously oversized handgun."It's a club Two-Face's boys run. Joins a warehouse on the other side they run goods out of. Those guys always go for things like that. Double up on things, you know? Pain in the ass.""Sounds good, D. You know the way, right? Let's grab some of the boys and go.""Hang on, chief. Before we go, you'd best grab anything you think you need, and come up with a plan of attack."You look around the weapon-filled room, and begin considering your plan of attack...
>>42588992What DC characters are crazy enough enough to get in?>Mr. Nobody>Zsasz>BaytorBut who else is on the sane level? I don't read much comics so there may be a bunch
>>42589626I'd rather higher a merc, Deadshot or Deathstroke might be good.
>>42589595What sort of goods? If it's two face I'd guess explosives? So I say (regardless of what he's shipping) we pound it with molotovs, flame throwers and tear gas and when people come streaming out, ours guys set up behind strategically placed cover fuck them up
>>42589595Lets grab gas masks, joker gas gernades, a gernade launcher, a bullet proof vest (done up in purple in green) , a shoot gun, and a rubber chicken with a brick stuffed in it for a sap.
>>42589595Grenades, acid flower, gas masks, Airbased Joker Venom
>>42589701Mercenaries are good, but they wouldn't understand the (complete lack of a) plan.We need intellectual equals if we plan on doing anything big, with our hired guns sitting at table right next to our table enjoying snacks while the crazies babble.
>>42589777I didn't mean right now, just something we can look forward to in the future.
Guys this is CRUCIAL DO NOT GO INTO THE BUILDING. We have no ideas on their weapons or numbers. Use joker gas/fire to flush them out into an area we've already set up and are in control of with good cover and firing angles on dazed and confused two-face guys with no idea what's going on
>>42589822this, completely and utterly this.
>>42589701>>42589777Mercs are expensive and libel to double cross us because we may or may not have a bounty on or head. Plus the Joker never used them before, and we can do just fine with our own men rather than ask for outside help and look weak to our boys. Metcs are an all around dumb idea.
>>42589937Not when you need anti-supers and anti-bats. Unless we can find an amazing kungfu clown we need top tier guys to protect us from the bat.
>>42590014And not just that bat, too.The whole league may as well be after us since we're a top threat, along with any baggage nemesise that come with alliances.If we get Nobody on our side, the Doom Patrol is after us.If we get Bizzaro, Luthor is on our ass.Trickster? Flash.
>>42589595You take gas masks, and a small batch of gas grenades. You toss a bulletproof vest on under your jacket."Dwayne, have the men bring molotovs," you say. "We'll torch the place from the inside and drive his boy's out."You all hurry to a van at the loading dock, and a man drives you downtown, towards the Double Edge.As you approach, you ask Dwayne about the Double Edge. "What kind of goods does Tw-Face run, anyway?""Doesn't matter, " he says, "Same as us, most of the time. Anything he can get and move quick. Liquor, guns, cigarettes, even clothes. You get ahold of a hot shipment or something, then flip it for dirt cheap. It's pure profit."You approach the building. You can already hear the noise from the club from inside the van as you pull up into an alley nearby."Alright chief, we're here. What's the plan? Which side do you want to approach through, the warehouse, or the club?">wat do
>>42590132Blow yourself because you're an incompetent fuck who can't put quest in the title.
>>42590132Warehouse and then gas the club
>>42590132Have most of everyone on the warehouse side with a few guys on the club side.The club side they just have to throw a molotov or two at the front door and it will make everything shit for escaping.
>>42590201This seems logical
>>42590132Block off the emergency exits then torch and gas both force the two faced punks out the front and blast em as they flee. Block the ends of the street so that fire and rescue services take longer getting there.
>>42590271Dont forget to make a smile signature
>>42590132Whatever we do, take prisoners.We need to have a little fun.
>>42590132Throw your gas grenades into the club, torch the warehouse. Wait outside in the shadows behind cover, murder anyone who comes out either end.
Did anyone else notice how Dottie stopped being mopey she got her faux eye back?Like, instantly?So we should make sure she keeps the thing in, yeah?
>>42590404She also liked it when we mentioned her winning the pageant, confirmed qt
>>42590404No, have a professional their take it from her under the cover of darkness.There is nothing funnier than a sad clown (when it's not us).
>>42590428None of that we actually like Dottie. She's loyal, attacks the bat on sight, and Miss Gotham. She needs to smile more not less.
>>42590132"Alright, D. Take most of the guys to the warehouse. A couple guys and I will go to the front and toss in some gas and molotovs.Once you start shooting, the goons won't be able to flee out the club, and they'll have to run straight towards you. Toss in some molotovs of your own to assure their merch is all destroyed."The boys, ready themselves. "Alright guys," you say. "Let's go."Dwayne and company run off the other way, while you approach from the front.You walk straight up to the line to the bouncer. The line breaks and the people flee behind you.He seems to think about trying to stop you; you can see him weighing whether he'd rather risk you, or Two-Face."You have a fifty-fifty chance with your Boss, champ. What do you think your odds of making it out alive from me are?" You tell him.He flees.You enter the club.>do you make yourself know, or simply attack?
>>42590488We'll just have to make her smile without it.Good fucking luck, she's nuts!
>>42590553Jokers here! Time to party! Throw the molotovs and gas.
>>42590427She got flustered when we mentioned it. We need to drop some subtle but blatant Joker style compliments on her.
>>42590553Just attack.We have no tricks, no gadgets, no nothing.There's no point in a stand-up without jokes.
>>42590132Torch the front while our clowns are ready on the warehouse entrance, have a few of our guys in the front. Keep a few alive for juciy information, there would probably be a guy who looks like the head chief
>>42590553"Good evening Guys and Dolls, Boys and Girls, I was invited to a BBQ here and your on the menu!" Toss a maltove at the bar and a gas gernade into the crowd after you and your boys slip on your gas masks. Have your boys fire at anyone who makes a run towards the front door.
>>42590563They're all nuts, her variety of nuts is just less likely to see us stabbed in the back or poisoned in our sleep. She is more likely to isolate herself than anything truely harmful to us.
>>42590553You toss in a few gas grenades. "I heard there was a party here!" You shout, as the crowd begins to scream, then cough. "Who ordered the clowns?!"Not a great joke, perhaps, but everyone laughs anyway. You secretly wish it wasn't solely because of the gas.Your men light their molotovs, and sling them into the crowded room. "Now smile, and blow out your candles!"As the bottles burst flames pour over some of the guests, but they can't stop laughing. There is a stampede of people rushing towards the exits; you see some people get trampled underfoot as they are shoved to the ground.Some of the flaming partygoers begin staggering and fall. There is a sickening smell of burning hair and meat.You can hear gunshots in the distance; a door opens in the back, and notice a few men in workclothes rushing out; you are able to pick them out of the well-dressed clubbers easily."Grab one of them," you say. "We need a prisoner."Your men rush into the crowd and overpower one of the men, clubbing him in the neck with their guns.You motion for them, and they follow you back to the van, hauling the man between them. Back in the vain, you await Dwayne and his men, who come running shortly after. Dwayne has a busted lip, but everyone returned safely.""I let one of 'em get too close," he says, then smiles. "He won't do that again."You drive back to the base to asses your losses...and interrogate your prisoner.When you arrive, Dottie and Nightjar are waiting for you. Your men haul the goon into the room, and tie him to a chair."Brought us a songbird?" says Nightjar.Dottie ignores her. "Don't know how much we lost, Boss. Manifests were all with Topper. Buncha alcohol though, I could tell that much. Which means it was a big loss. They swiped what they could, then torched the rest when we showed up. Knock's trying to get our security tightened, and get all the rest of our goods moved to new storehouses."(Cont)
>>42590950She continues. "Looks like we might end up storing a bunch here at the park though. Means they'll be a lot more traffic through here for the time being.""It'll have to do for the moment," you say. "Right now, I want to see what our friend knows."The burly man in the chair is bald and stocky, with a deep red face and a bulbous nose. "I don't know nothin'," he spits.>wat do?>who will help you with the interrogation?>what will you ask?>what will your friends do?
>>42591024"Neither did the other two guys we grabbed. They're not HALF the men they used to be, HA HA HA. If you don't know anything you're no fun at all. Kill him however seems cleverest. Fire might be fun."Wave your hand dismissively and start to walk off.
>>42590950"That's about what I expected, but I know you and Knock can handle yourselves so I left in your capable hands. Meanwhile some of the boys, Dwayne, and I pulled a similar stunt on one of Dent's places. We even got a little present in the form of our friend here. Was about to wake him to see if he had anything useful to say."
>>42591024We will. Bring out the saw and drills its time to play 100 questions!
>>42591137First ask if he know anything about Topper, second see if he knows where any other places we might want to hit up are. Two face needs to learn this lesson good. Video tape it and send the tape and his head along to Dent.
>>42591024>>who will help you with the interrogation?Dwayne>>what will you ask?where is tophat or someone who might know>>what will your friends do?dottie an knock secures the goods spike looks for more of two faces businessesthe rest get ready to rob what ever spike finds
>>42591100Seconded. We need to act fucking crazy and throw him off or we won't get shit out of him
>>42591187Start with sawing off toes and fingers, then move grab a tourniquet for the legs and arms. Drill his limbs to a chair if thst still doesnt motivate him to talk.
>>42591224>>42591250We need to get our hands dirty eventually might as well do it now.
>>42591250>>42591224We should do it ourselves. The professor has a point.
>>42591299Dude, we don't actually walk off, we're just doing it to make him THINK we don't give a shit. We're a psych student, this is like Enhanced Interrogation 101
once we get done with topper we should do a tv skit where we get someone to dress up with batman and we interview him as a psychologist and talk about his psychological issues.
>>42591100This is really good, let's Knock and Dottie have fun too
>>42591299There is only one thing I wish to sully around here, and it has a disfigurement.C'mere, Lefty!
>>42591343holy shit my sidesthis would be amazing, double if its actually one of our cronies.
>>42591024"Lets play a little game, every time you lie you'll be punished. Since you lied here's a little taste." Shoot some acid on his nose
>>42591024"Wait a sec, Boss." says Dottie. "Where'd you get your friend?""Figured you and Knock could take care of yourselves, so Dwayne and I decided to pay Two-Face a visit. We trashed the Double Edge. Figured we might find out some info from our boy here.""You realize, of course," says Nightjar, dissatisfaction in her voice, "that Two-Face's club must have been insured, correct? You probably handed him more money than you costed him.""Not the point," says Dot. "It was't about the money, it was about sending him a message." He knows we aren't going down without a fight.""Dwayne, get me a camera."He leaves for a moment, and returns with a handheld camera."Now, my friend. I want to know where Top Hat is.""I don't know no Top Hat."You turn to Dotty without a word, and hold out your hand. She pulls a folding knife from her pocket. She gives you a smile, and flips out the knife, and hands it to you.>what do you do.
>>42591447>what do you do.cut out a fingernail
>>42591447Why, obviously we have misplaced our knife through his hand. Whoops!
>>42591447Lets start with a family story about what grandpa did to grandma when she wouldn't smile, all while sitting in his lap tracing the knife slowly up and down his cheek. If he continues to play dumb stab through one of his hands.
>>42591447dickstab"whoops, not like you were using that anyways!"
>>42591447Start with his feet, with his left foot little toe. Pry it off, and finish no matter what he says, preferably while singing the "This little piggy went to market..." thing. Then let him know you'll be finishing with his feet in the next few days, moving up a few inches, breaking every bone in his ankles one by one, then his shins, then kneecapping, then his femurs, until every bone is broken, every muscle torn and ripped, every tendon snapped. And then, maybe, if he's lucky, you'll listen to what he has to say about top hat. Throw in some more funny shit though. Have to keep the theme
>>42591100Never threaten death at the beginning, after that everything else is a step down.
>>42591539>implying he wouldn't beg for death before the end
>>42591522"You know my grand papa use to come home every day from work hoping to be welcomed by Mema's smiling face, and every day head come home to her frowning. . . One day he came home late, drunk as hell with a switch blade in his hand. . . He held Mema down and carved her a smile from cheek to cheek. Now when he comes home she's always smiling."
>>42591633He'd not head
>>42591447"The game is 20 Questions," you say.You place his hand onto the table, and place the knife over his little finger. You bring your other fist down on the back of the knife, hard.He screams.You didn't quite make it all the way through the finger, but you split it between the bone joining thr finger to the hand. A ragged band of skin still holds the bleeding finger on.Nightjar seems undisturbed, with no sign of last night's squeamishness on her face. It seems she doesn't mind seeing others hurt; she just looks out for herself.Dottie watches silently."19 more.">what next?
>>42591447Cut a smile on him.
>>42591343That's glorious, especially as a psychology major.
>>42591729"Question 2: Where's my friend, Top Hat? Or Wally Winston, or whatever his name is."
>>42591729"No Tophat tjen, How about Penguin? Two Half Dozen of your pals come uninvited to a little dinner date we and Cobble-puff had, so you must know something about that."
>>42591729continue with the gameask him where twofaces other establishments are
>>42591758we could even play it halfway strait and talk about how he seems to create his own villains so he can play to hero to ease the pain of some sort of past trama
>>42591729"mmhmm. You sure you don't know nuthen'? Let's try for an easy one. Where does Two Face hold the stuff he steals before he flips it? Answer this and the last question and I wont cut you thumbs off next."
>>42591830Your*On my phone srry for teh typos.
Quest goes in the title field so that we can filter you, you inbred mongoloid.
>>42591729"Question Number 2: where is Top Hat? I'm looking for William Winston."The man is struggling. "I don't know no Top Hat, but I heard about some guy. Mighta been your Winston, I don't know. Been hangin' around with the Boss for a while now.""NOW we're getting somewhere," you say. "Next question...">...?
We have to throw in a few random nonsense questions to fuck with him."Am I telling the truth, that I am lying?""If a blind dog sniffed your butt, what color would it taste?"
>>42591633We have to use this sometime it's classic joker material.
>>42591900where is your boss or where is he going to be in the next few days?
>>42591900Where are your bosses usual haunts? If a tree falls in the woods do I care if it makes a sound? WHERE IS WALDO?!
Label quests. Most tumors are benign, this cancer is malignant.
>>42591900About him hitting Cobblepot and us. He wouldn't try that without a lot of firepower, but sent so little, why?
>>42591958well you would know about cancer
>>42591911>it's classic joker material.Actually, classic Joker material would be facing a Batman who was both shorter and skinnier than ourselves.Fucking Adam West.
>>42591991>Fucking Adam West.i think you mean Adam Best
>>42591729Is this quest a complete graph? Because you couldn't cram any more edge into it.
>>42591900"Question three! Penguin and I were having a little get together, and some of you boys came by to crash the part.Now, my friends here seem to think Two Face was feeling a little left out, but I have my doubt... Maybe you can shed some light on the subject?"You place the knife over his next finger for emphasis."Man I swear I don't know nothing about that! Two-Face has been moving some of our boys a little deeper into Penguin's territory, but I know better than to ask why!""Number four. ...Am I telling the truth, or am I lying"The man looks surprised. "What?""WRONG!"WHAM.A scream."Number five. Where does Two-Face keep his goods?""He's got places all over town, man. He likes to hold onto legit warehouses and slip in stolen stuff on the side."(cont)
>>42592078Oh, look, /tg/ related content. Cool.
>>42591958>removing the sticks from your controllerliterally why
>>42592119E-sports. They had to make sure the sticks weren't deflated
>>42592119Gotta make sure the pads aren't deflated.
Can we get back to our origibal purpose?[clown porn]
>>42592190I live in Mass, you cant beat me to a deflate-gate reference!
this is a quest. Please put "quest" somewhere in the subject line for future threads, so those who wish can filter it.Thank you for your understanding
>>42591377I'd like to sully her too, but will have to work for it.
>>42592088"Six! Where will Two-Face be for the next few days!" you shout."Providence! Underground casino. He's got a room above it.""SEVEN! WHERE IS WALDO?""I DON'T..."SLAM."EIGHT! Why did Two-Face send so few men up against me and Penguin?!""Two-Face didn't send them! He thought he could surprise you!""Nine! Who sent them?!""WINSTON!" screams the man.You pause. The bleeding man has finally confirmed- Top Hat is working with Two-Face.You think for a moment on whether you have any more questions...>any more?>I'm going to step out for a minute. Be back in 10-15.
>>42592303Was the gender of the giant twins ever specified?Lefty and Righty.
>>42592344Let Dottie and Knock play.
>>42592379This they can have some fun
>>42592344If were done with him, get a cooler full of ice, a baggie for his fingers, a six pack of beer, and a quick drop off to a random hospital.
>>42592344>WHERE'S WALDODying, OP. Ask if Winston is with Two-Face or if there's anything else important you should know.
>>42592344is winston gonna be with twoface
>>42592352I was talking about Dottie. Lefty and Righty are both big dudes I think. I thought he wanted the twins to do the interrogation. Step out for 10-15 minutes, have dwayne, dottie, and knock follow you out and leave the twins and spike to watch over him. Time for a little discussion before we resume.
This is what I imagine Holly looks like.Anyway, speaking of characters, I thought I would do a rundown of the people we met>Holly>Fox News anchor who gets Gotham riled up. Pink hair and hot as fuck>Dottie>one eye, green hair, smoker. Apparently has been committed before. Is Mexican and has one eye and scars.>Lefty and Righty>Xbox hueg weird retarded clowns. Lefty had his arm eaten by Croc>Dwayne>hueg guy who used to work in shipping>Knock>black guy who controls the men>Top Hat>huge asshole>Cole>psycho scientist>the accountant>weedy little guy>Joker>Dead (?)>Spike>Fat fuck
>>42592822im pretty sure lefty still has his arm its just broken
>>42592822I think it would be slightly funnier if we call the one with the cast on his right arm Righty
>>42592822what does your pic look like without makeup?
>>42592822Holly is a skanky ho though, and a gold digging attention whore, I'd rather our dick not rot off thanks or a knife in the back because she decided to make a power grab.
Christ sorry about that. There was a car accident on my way back.Writing.
>>42593161Everyone okay? Or just blockage on the way from point A to point B?
>>42593161Damn, anybody hurt?
>>42593161Hope nobody got hurt.
>>42592344"Ten." you say. "When will Winston be with Two-Face?"Tears of pain are streaming down the man's red face."...He's staying at Providence. Until things cool down."And there you have it."No more questions." you say, as twirl the knife between your fingers."You know, every night for thirty years, my grandfather came home, looking for my grandmother's smiling face.And every day, he came home to her frowning. Now, I know a little bit about psychology. Grandpa did too. They say that just by smiling, you can make yourself happier. And grandpa... He really wanted her to be happy."You look the man in the eyes."...So you know what he did?"You grab the man by the hair, stick the knife in his mouth against his cheek, and start sawing. You easily cut straight through the man's fatty cheek.Then do the other one."...He made her smile."You wipe the knife on your vest, leaving a deep read smear across it. Then, holding it by the blade, you return it to Dottie."Have fun," you tell her. "...but just on his right side. That way he can match his Boss.But the smile... That's so he remembers me. Him and everybody else.""Dwayne, send a copy of that tape to Two-Face.I want the original."And with that, you return to your room, and prepare for your next big show.>now...what're we gonna do about Two-Face and Topper?
>>42593181Blockage. Just explaining why it took so fucking long.
>>42593516get the boys together have nightjar contact the penguin to surround the Providence while we go and get tophat and twoface
>>42593516Let's play them a visit. We can take the tape to two face directly. Let Dottie have her fun then gather the boys and girls up cause we going to have a slumber party with the stiffs at Providence.
>>42593516Fuck them, we need money. Actually fuck them AND get money. Lets raid their warehouses, and stock up our own.
>>42593643Think Pengy will help us out on this one?
>>42593659he gets a shot at twoface and nightjar stated that two face has been pushing on his territory.
>>42593516You take Nightjar into your office. "Tomorrow night, we're going straight to Two-Face. Directly, Darkwing.""Oh COME ON, that one isn't even close."You continue. "See if you can get Penguin's men to close in on the building from the outside. I don't want anyone getting out once I'm inside.""...WE. Mister Cobblepot insisted that I be there. And I will be.""Then tomorrow night, we all go have a little sleepover with that two-faced freak and the DA. I'll have some of my men try to hit some of his stockpiles. We could use the money anyway..."She interrupts you, "Just so we are clear, anything in OUR territory belongs to the Penguin. Anything in your territory is yours by right.And should... Something happen to Two-Face, I'm sure both you and Mister Cobblepot could come to an arrangement..."Things are heating up. The Penguin's men should be in place around the Providence. You, Nightjar, and whoever else you choose to take will enter the casino, find Two-Face...And kill Top Hat.The next day, you ready yourself. You again take your bullet-proof vest, gas bombs, and giant gun. You are also sure your acid flower is refilled.When you enter the main hall, the tension is high. A black stain is on the floor, and a filthy plate is on the table. "Your friend is ready to go back home," says Dottie. "Awful nice of him to bring some treats for the Hyenas."Nightjar is in a stiffly-pressed suit with a shoulder holster beneath her jacket. "I hope you've prepared? My boss's men are at the ready; everything else is up to us. Now how exactly are you planning on getting us inside?" she asks curtly.>whats our plan?
>>42594058Pump gas in from below come in from the top. After all, we are pretty colorful, and decorations go on top.
>>42594142This."That sounds most agreeable. Though I'd rather not have to kill Dent. Power vacuums suck an aweful lot after all."
>>42594142>>42594194Make sure Penguins goons are in the know, we don't wan't any friendly fire. Or at least friendly gassing
>>42594058rush the ground floor find out were top hat and two face are then go have a "talk".
>>42594219Good point, we want that canary to keep singing.
>>42594058"We gas the bottom floor, and go in from above. The man said his hideout was above the casino. Besides," you smile. "Decorations go up top.""Up...top?" says Nightjar incredulously."There's a cheap hotel next door." suggests Dottie. "We head upstairs, then drop down onto the roof of the Providence building.""Yes, but they're sure to have guards. He's sure to have a plan to protect against Batman.""Then we just have to make sure we don't go in like Batman." you say,"Boss, if you're goin' in from above, I'm afraid that counts me out," says Dwayne, patting his stomach. "The twins too. No safe way for us to swing over there.""We won't need Knock to lead our men, so we can take him along this time. Dot, you too. And Nightbird has already said she's going," you say.You ride out towards the Providence. On your way, you pass a number of suspiciously well-dressed men watching the streets."It looks like our men are in place," says Nightjar.You arrive at the hotel.
Suggestion."Politely" knockout-gas the blue-footed booby. If it comes to pass that she was really lying to her boss and us she'll shoot top hat or us to protect herself.
>>42594445This no need to take undue risk after all.
>>42594433The four of you exit the vehicle, and head into the service entrance of the hotel. You head into the stairwell, and up to the roof.From the rooftop, you look down upon the Providence. Four men, armed. They're staying away from the corners of the rooftop; the people below might not see them, but you can see them clearly from above.Before you attack, though, you and your two clowns corner Nightjar."If you were lying to your boss, we're going to kill you. Do you understand?"She scoffs. "Understand something, 'Chuckles.' I would never be stupid enough to betray Mister Cobblepot, and I'm much more afraid of him than I am of you. The worst you can do is kill me. The Penguin can destroy me.I've done better for myself than most people, and I have the Penguin to thank for that. I would die before I jeopardized that."She approaches the edge of the building."Now let's take those men out and get moving."
>>42594708Awe she's a good little birdy ig she doesn't screw this up. I say we use her name correctly when we congratulate her, that'd through for a loop.
>>42594708>The worst you can do is kill me>Said to the JokerWow. That's a whole new level of stupid.
>>42594751And if she does we put her psychological torture until she's a kookaburra?
>mods=godsExcept they got rid of clowns too :(>>42594771>Implying she isn't already
>>42594708>crazy bitch willing to Allah Akbar if she can't stay richmaybe she belongs with us after all
she gonna try and take the accounts you guys know that right she pretty much stated it with this> "Just so we are clear, anything in OUR territory belongs to the Penguin. Anything in your territory is yours by right.shes gonna say that the casino is now the penguins territory
>>42594855Yeah so we kill her.
>>42594855If she does we shoot her in the face. She's up here with us alone, and she can't tell the penguin shit if she's dead.
>>42594708You approach the edge of the hotel, and toss a handful of gas grenades over. The men begin laughing uncontrollably, unable to maintain a hold on their guns or call for help.Knock goes first, jumping down onto the lower roof; Nightjar follows.Before Dottie jumps, you stop her, pulling her out of sight of the people below."Dot, I want you keep an eye on her. If you even think she's about to betray us...""It'd be a pleasure," she says, and jumps down. You follow her.When you are all on the roof, you signal some of the men below, who send in your cut-up friend from last night. The man is still smiling his gory smile, and one side of his body has long strips of flesh torn out of it. He is still passed out, and a man is pushing him in a wheelchair.Once inside, the man pushing the wheelchair throws on a gas mask and triggers gas tanks beneath the seat of the wheelchair. Laughing gas floods the ground floor of the casino.At the same time, you enter the access door and enter the building, heading down to the top floor."This way," says Nightjar. "The penthouse has to be this way."You follow the dark haired woman, her gun held ready. Before you turn the next corner, she throws her arm in front of you, and motions for you to be quiet.She makes a motion with her finger, and mouths the words, "It's around here."You have to decide how to lead the assault>what do we tell our guys to do?
>>42595034rush the penthouse kill any who fights backs then search an secure the area then round up everyone in the penthouse and coral them in one area
>>42595034Call the cops to help you with that. Slap Nightjar ass while you do that.
>>42595034Listen carefully make sure we have the right room then bust door done and enter loud and proud waving your gun around. "Oh Harvey boy youve got some esplainin' to do! Namely why the fuck you are taking the advice from a two-faced back stabbing sonofa bitch. Did you really think I'd just roll over and take it like a good little boy. . . I'm clown not a dog Havery and you should no better. Now I'm here because you've got something of mine and I want it back." causally point it at Top Hat. " Now we can do this two ways, fun way or the easy way. I'm sure I don't have to spell out either option to you so whats it going to be Harvey?" shoot the coin out his hand if he takes it out "And bo cheating that wouldn't be any fun. Your a smart boy I'm sure you'll figure it out without the help."
>>42595209*the door down *you're
>>42595034You motion for everyone to follow, and rush the penthouse.As you round the corner, you see two men guarding a large door. Your companions open fire, and you duck and roll a gas grenade towards them.You hear shouting, and throughout the floor you can hear doors opening- Two-Face's men.Quickly you tackle open the door, and duck inside the penthouse. Knock and the girls step inside behind you, opeing fire towards the men.Inside, you come face to face to face with Harvey Dent, now known as Two-Face.At a table nearby is a lean, well built man in a fine suit. He smiles a perfect smile at you.
>>42595365Shoot his legs out. He can't get away this time.
>>42595404Right in the knee.
>>42595365"Well...Joker. Figured you'd show up sooner or later," hisses the scarred man. Half of his face is scarred and melted, and his two-toned suit is split down the middle."You got some explaining to do, Harv," you say. He flinches at the name. "You've been making moves on both mine and Penguin's territory. You stole from me, and destroyed my property. And worst of all, you've been dealing with my man here. I can't just roll over and let this go."Winston stands, and approaches you. "You know there's a power vacuum, friend. This is just the markets shaking out naturally."Two-Face cuts him off. "Shuddap!" He addresses you, "You know me, clown. Never argue with fate." He spins his coin between his fingers. "Sorry you ended up on the wrong side this time, slim. But you win some..." He flips the coin and catches it. "...and ya lose some.""I want Winston, Two-Face."He puts a hand in his pocket, and smiles."Flip ya for him.">roll 1d2 (first result gets it)>1 is heads, 2 is tails.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>42595583Shoot him in the knee! Winston that is. Just a precaution there didn't want him to run ya see? Now I think it's gonna be
Rolled 1 (1d2)>>42595583Heads!
>>42595687You didn't call it.
>>42595687>Namefag fails at existence again.
>>42595687Two-Face catches the coin. "Tails," he says with a smile. "You lose."Winston smiles and pulls his own gun on you. "I guess this means the circus is leaving town for good this time...Boss""...And you're luck's run out too, Dent,"It is Nightjar. It seems she slipped away while the group was defending the hall. She has a gun pointed at Two-Face."It took a lot of work for us to get both of you up here, you know," she says to you. "But once you two and the bird are on ice, Winston and I have plans for this town..."Two-Face turns his gun from you, and points it at Nightjar, drawing a second gun to point at Winston.Your own gun is pointed at Two Face, and Top Hat's is pointed at you. "Double cross ME, eh?" sneers Two-Face.Top Hat looks dumbfounded. "Now, wait a second Harvey, he pleads...>wat do!?
>>42595884Shoot Winston. Let Dottie shoot Nightjar. "Sorry about the mess and your boys Harvey, but this solves both my problems. I'll turn the bird into a feathered cap and have Topper boy sent to the taxidermist yoy see Pengy wants a new hat rack and he's just perfect for the job! Hahahaha! Now you'll have to excuse me but I've had my fill of bat boy for the month so I'll be taking my toys and leaving now, tata!"
>>42595884SHOOT TOPHAT FOR GODS SAKE.
>>42595884lets make a deal dent i get top hat and whats rightfully mine and you get the night owl over there and i have the penguins boys to back down
>>42595884>OOOH, this is such FUN! Next a few more people are gonna come in, and Nightjar's half-sister wants to steal her man, and then Two Face reveals his true feelings... wait, no, that's General Hospital.Stall for time
>>42595884>Shoot Top HatDottie can shoot Nightjar
>>42595961>>42595987Whistle after Dottie kills the Dodo bird "I love it when I see her go to work, sends a thrill down me spine!"
Throw laughing gas and shoot top hat
>>42595884>forgot tripYou point your gun at Winston.Two-Face keeps his gun on him as well, while taking his gun off Nightjar and onto you.She holds her gun on Two-Face."Harvey, she's lying! I've been playing both Penguin and the clown! You know that!" pleads Winston.You try to stall. "This is such FUN! Next a few more people are gonna come in, and Nightwing's half-sister will try to steal her man, and then Two Face reveals his true feelings... wait, no, that's General Hospital..."Two-Face is sweating. "Shuddap!" he snaps."Say, Harvey... I've got an idea." You say. "I give you the Blue-Footed Booby, and you give me my new Hat Rack. Everybody wins, right?""Harvey, shoot him! I've been on the level with you the whole time!" says Top Hat, his composure breaking for the first time."Yes," says Nightjar. "Up until now we've had to play it straight with you, Two-Face. But now we've got you where we want you."Harvey trembles, his eyes darting between you, Nightjar, and Winston.Then it dawns on you."...You can't make a decision, can you?"
>>42596141Oh this is just TWO sweet.
>>42596141Are we on a ruse cruise?
>>42596141Coin flip is go.
Rolled 2 (1d2)>>42596141Tell you what harv, heads you shoot winston, tails you shoot nightbroad. Catch!Then flip a coin at him, shoot winston, shoot dent and bugger off.
>>42596141Make the decision for him.BAM BAM!Joker gets the last laugh
>>42596141>wait, no, that's General Hospital..."Pffft my sides
>>42596232We're getting better with the jokes, thank christ.
>>42596141"...If I could just let go..." he says, his teeth clenched."If you take your gun off me, I shoot Winston, whether he's telling the truth or not. And then you shoot me. And then the girl shoots you."You continue, talking the problem over to yourself as well "...And if you take you your gun off Winston, and he's lying, then the girl shoots you, and Winston shoots me.""And if you try to shoot the girl, and Winston was lying, he shoots you. Then I shoot him.Of course, you could shoot the girl, and Winston could be telling the truth, and he could shoot me. But then you'd be left alone with Winston, and I wouldn't wish that on ANYBODY.""So," you finish, "You need to decide which of the three of us to shoot before you can decide which of the two of them is lying. Even if you could reach your coin you'd be left with three choices. And unless you have a three-sided coin...""JUST SHUT UP," he cries. "What are you, the Riddler now?""No Harvey. I'm the Joker..."(cont)
>>42596356Troll level is over 9000!
>>42596356"...Which is why I'm going to do this."You fire your gun at Top Hat, who immediately reels in pain. He tries to fire his gun, but misses.Harvey fires at you once, but immediately scrambles for his coin.The impact hits you in the chest and knocks the breath from you, but your vest protects you from harm. Nightjar throws her gun to the side, and rushes to Top Hat. She checks him for a moment, and in an impressive show of strength, heaves the man onto her back In a fireman's carry. She lugs him towards the door, stopping near you only briefly."Go! GO!" She grunts. Gunfire is still raging outside, and you catch one last glimpse of Two-Face trying to puzzle out a solution with his coin before you swiftly duck out of the room.>wat do?
>>42596454SHE WAS ON OUR SIDE ALL ALONG! HELP HER FLEE.
>>42596454stop nightjar before she can get to the penguins men then search her and take top hat
>>42596454>wat do?Isn't it obvious?We "Go! GO!"(mebbe throw a laughing bomb behind us as we leave?)
>>42596471>>42596488But make sure we get Too Hat from her before we get to Penguins crew, he still h as info we want.
>>42596482She played Twoface by making three targets, she was on our side all along.
>>42596505that doesn't matter its about getting whats ours back
>>42596503Seconding this. We want the info. Penguin can get his hat rack after that.
>>42596454You decide to as she says, and "Go! GO!" out into the hallway. Both Knock and Dottie are standing right outside, firing at the men in both directions. When they see you, both rush to your side, still firing. You toss a gas bomb towards the largest group of men, disabling many of them.The group hurries back to the stairwell, your pace slowed by Nightjar and the man she carries. You go up the stairs, and back to the roof of the hotel; you help Dottie up onto the roof, and help her drag Top Hat up after her.In a few minutes, you are back in the hotel, and in a few minutes more, back at the van.Knock, who has been carrying him since you reached the hotel roof, tosses the limp and bleeding Top Hat into the van.As you all crowd into the van, Nightjar makes a signal to one of the suited men, and they soon disappear into nearby buildings and cars.She gets into the van with you.The ride back home is silent.You have a lot to talk about when you get back, though. Uncle Joker's favorite nephew is back for a visit.
>>42596617Time to play dentist on live television, have spike do the routing it last time holly was on it the bat got involved.
We should get a canister of laughing gas in our suit, that we can open with a small movement of a mechanism at the risk.We need an engineer...
>>42596656I assume you meamt wrist?
>>42596617You arrive, and unload your guest. He is roughly tied to a chair, just as your friend was last night. He stirs, and awakens. He stays silent.You sincerely hope you can make him just as comfortable as your last guest.Dwayne, the Twins, Knock, Dottie, and Nightjar are all here- and, surprisingly, you are greeted by Holly."I just couldn't miss my good friend Willy's going away party!" she says, bouncily. "I spoke to your father this morning, Will. He said he is awfully concerned about the crime wave recently, you know. Things just aren't safe in this city anymore.He suggested that he might be donating to my 'Take Back Gotham' campaign!" she taunts. Her voice drops, temporarily dropping her bubbly, schoolgirl tone, as she closes in on his face. Instead, she growls, "Isn't that just swell, Willy?" She reassumes her cheerful tone. "I wonder how he might feel if something happened to his youngest son...? It might just push him over the edge, you know... I wonder how much he'll raise his donation by?"She laughs. A cold, hateful laugh.William Winston swallows. That grin you've hated for so long is nowhere to be seen."You'll have your accounts, alright? And the contracts. And...And I can get you more. From my dad's business. The kind of money you have is nothing compared to what we can get in a day playing the markets.You're smarter than the old Joker. You know a good thing when you see it, right?">wat do?
>>42596756There's only one thing to do, laugh.
>>42596756No, I'm the Joker, and I know a good punch line when I see it.>Right hook
>>42596756Laugh and ask who he thinks you areThen grab a spoon and scoop an eye out saying "as kind as I get an eye for an eye, I'll be happy to take that info off your hands. Then maybe take the hands as well"
>>42596819>as kind as I get an eyeAs long, damn autocorrect
>>42596819Maybe let Dottie or knock do it, they've wanted this for a while
>>42596830I agree with that.Plus, it's nice to see how creative our henchmen can get.
>>42596811>>42596819I like combining both of these in that order.
>>42596756You laugh in the man's face."HAHAHAHAHA!""Willy, I'm the Joker!" you say."So believe me when I say this... THAT was one HELL of a punch line!"You smash your fist into the man's jaw."Accounts, Top Hat." says Dwayne. "Now."He nods, and opens his mouth. He closes it again, and then says weakly, "A phone. I have to sign them over."Dwayne pulls out a cheap cell phone, and Topper lists off a number. Dwayne dials, and holds it to the man's face."H...hello, Tony? Listen, I need you to do me a favor. There's a file in the cabinet in my office, on the bottom shelf. It has no name.I want you to take that file, and get the access codes for all those accounts. Have them sent to this PO Box:" He lists off a number."...No, I can't explain. My...vacation is going to be a little longer than expected."His voice cracks. "...Tell Dad...alright? ....Goodnight, Tony."Dwayne clicks off the phone.Winston is almost in tears. "..You have your money now, right? So there's no reason to keep me. You..you aren't like the old guy. Right...Boss?"He tries to give you a smile.>wat do?
>>42596923"You're right, I'm not." kneecap him and let him go."I'll be watching you Winston."I say we do this, he is still technically family.
>>42596923See, the issue here, is that you didn't just fuck with me. You fucked with the family AND with our dear bird friends.IF I were to let you go, then I'm certain that dear old Pa would get roped into this. And, aside from that, I'm overdue for the next episode of Uncle Joker's happy hour!Spike, it's your turn to set up the signal.
>>42596923>Kill the asshole
>>42596923I think we should have a bit more fun with him. This is personal. He shot us and tried to get us killed a few more times and he thinks begging will get him mercy.
>>42596923No, I'm not. He would've shot you before asking for the money. *kill him*
>>42596923"Hmmm... I need time to think it over. Lock him up, I'll probably kill him in the morning"Then tomorrow we go by his cell, taunt him and day "good night Willy, I'll probably kill you tomorrow"Rinse and repeat a few days then let him go. We see him off, and when he's about 20 get away, we call out to him. He turns around and we point the fake gun at him and pull the trigger. Then we shoot him for real in the knee caps and go back inside. If he can make it home on one knee cap he's golden
>>42596923You look at him, solemnly."I'm enough like the 'old guy' to know you can't just expect to get away with trying to steal from me....and it's not just me you've hurt, Topper. You've hurt the family. And that makes Uncle Joker VERY disappointed in you.So let me tell you what I'm going to do. First, I'm going to let Dottie have a turn with you. Then, I'm going to let Knock have his turn.Then Holly, then Nightjar....And then, Top Hat my friend... Then, it will be you and me.You grab the back of the chair, and haul it into a back room, the rest of the clowns laughing maniacally. A single dim lightbulb still burns on the ceiling. "Play nice, Topper," you say, as you close the door behind you. "HA HA HA HA HA!"William Winston, who had up until now lived a charmed life, sits alone in a dark room. He waits for the clowns to descend on him like wild dogs.(Cont)
He cost our men's lives and tried to take over, he tried to kill us. He had chances to work for us. He dies one way or another. I dont care about if its on TV or quick. He does not get to live.
>>42597008So... We're gonna tape and broadcast this, right?And send a special VHS (the funniest video format) to his father.Other than that, leave the rest of the family alone, so he donates even MORE to Holly's charity.
>>42597008>DOTTIEA few minutes later, the door opens, and Dottie steps into the room. "Evenin', Topper," she says. She pulls a chair in front of him, and sits down. She lights a cigarette. Then she looks at Top Hat and inhales. "Wanna see somethin', Topper?" she says, as she removes her eyepatch. The cracked and splintered eye sits in her deeply-reddened eyesocket. It's tearing slightly."I don't know what you had to do with Bats crashing the party the other night. Probably nothin'. But see, ever since then?" She taps her glass eye with a long fingernail. It makes a hollow 'plink'."...My eye here's been splinterin' real bad. And so I'm thinkin, one thing I'd really like right now?I'm thinkin' an eye...." She grabs Top Hat's head, and presses her cigarette into his eye. He screams. There is a hiss, and a strong smell."...for an eye.">TOP HAT>Tell me- what do you do? You've got to weasel your way out of this somehow!>DOTTIE>You got a lot of pent up aggression, babe. Why not let it out? Remember though- you have to make sure everyone else gets a turn!
>>42597063>Top hatTry to think what weapon he has on him. Surely there's something he can use>DottieTake after the boss. He likes to flash that perfect smile so much, he oughta be doing it now.
>>42597063Dottie pulls out his eyes. He's getting tortured and knows it, doesn't need to see it happen to know that.
>>42597063Winston's mind races. There must be something he can use for a weapon... But his hands are bound to the chair's arms. He tries, but he can't break the chair that holds him.Dottie watches him squirm, as pulls her knife out, and folds it open.She looks at him with a frown. "You know, Topper... You always liked to smile. What's the matter? Not happy to see me?"Again she grabs him by the hair, and with a quick motion, slits both of his cheeks open- not enough to make him bleed to death, though."I think I'd like my eye now, Top Hat," she says, as she wedges her knife into his ruined eye. The tip of the knife pierces the orb, as blood and fluid streams down his face. She prys it out in meaty chunks."Stop! STOP!" He screams. He wrenches his torso around, knocking himself and the chair to the floor.Calmly Dottie lifts him back, and sits him up.She holds her face an inch away from his face, and looks into his good eye."I want the other one too. But I want you to be able to see what's coming even more."She stands and tousles the man's hair, then leaves the room quietly.Again, Top Hat is alone in the dark.He is smiling to himself. He can't do anything else.The door opens again."Knock, Knock..." says Knock, as he enters the room.>TOP HAT>Oh jesus, we have to do something. Can we offer him something?>KNOCK>We're gonna enjoy this...
Top had tries to plea and joke with knock. Knock removes tops teeth.
>>42597241This seems fine. I can't really think of anything to vote for.
>>42597219Is there a reason why we're acting this out? This is almost excessively gruesome.
>>42597219Top Hat gently nurses his facial wounds with his tongue. He looks to Knock, pleadingly."W...who's there?" he says, weakly. He hopes in some small way that playing along will lessen his pain."You know," says Knock. "I never really get to that part. I just like the opening so DAMN MUCH!"A fist smashes into Top Hat's face."Long time ago, I almost thought about joinin' you, you know that? But you ain't loyal to anybody, are ya? Lot of my boys got killed and put away because of you. Long time ago, I also told the Boss I wanted to knock out those teeth you're always showin'."He cracks his knuckles, and punches Top Hat again. And again.Knock hits him in the chin, and the teeth on the right side of Top Hat's mouth crack outwards, tearing his gums.He hits him one final time.Knock wipes his knuckles on his shirt. "You know, you spent all this time tryin' to rip everybody off. But think about this," he says, as he exits. He points at Top Hat, "Ain't nobody comin' to save you now, is there?"He is alone again.After a few minutes, the door opens again. Holly enters the room, practically skipping.>TOP HAT>Oh thank god! Finally, somebody we can reason with!>HOLLY>I don't need any suggestions, thank you.
>>42597329We the joker, excessively gruesome is expected
>>42597329>>42597339We've gone like 5 threads without actually killing anybody ourselves. This guy is basically our final boss.
>>42597363Didnt we blow up those skyscrapers?
>>42597377It's all happened off camera. We even shot a shotgun at some dudes and it OP didn't say we killed them.Plus in >>42597349 it looks like the characters are getting time to do development stuff
>>42597349I'm curious why top hat thought he could get away with his grand scheme. Its one thing to double cross the newbie joker, its another to cross the penguin and two-face while your at it. He is a guy that has everything to lose. Why is he trying to live out some grandiose power fantasy.
>>42597428Maybe he thought that if some college guy like us could become the joker, maybe he could become something more?
>>42597349"Oh thank God, Holly," he says. "You've got to get me out of here. We've always had an understanding, right? I mean, when we got into this together, I never..." He swallows. "...I mean I never thought things would go this far..."She sits in the chair, and rests a hand on his leg. She looks at him with pity."You never thought things would get this bad, right? I understand.But I'm sure that you understand this too, William. There was never any other way it could have gone.You were always going to be second to your brother, William. And you were always going to hurt yourself somehow, William. Wether you were playing gangster, or it was something else. I've known you since you were in braces, William. And all I can tell you is that you were never going to be good enough.You're father is about to give a lot of money to the city for you. You're going to help a lot of people now."She gives him a gentle, sincere kiss on the forehead, and looks him in the eyes."...I think that this is for the best."She leaves.
>>42597474....... Jesus Christ man. Now I kind of don't want to kill him
>>42597509Don't you fucking puss out on us.
>>42597474I did not expect these feels. Well done QM
>>42597516Ops Humanizing the Victim!
>>42597509I kinda want to kneecap him and leave him in the sewers under Gotham Central Hospital - if he can make it to safety we'll leave him alone.Issue is he knows too much
>>42597329Well basically this guy double crossed us, lead batmang to our beauty pageant which led to Dotty being thrown into Arkham (and then he shot us, but of the two we seemed to react more about Dotty interestingly enough).People died setting her free, people died in our bomb filled tantrum. In short, this guy royally fucked us over and pushed alot of buttons, all while shouting "This guy inst the joker and he doesnt have the balls to kill me!"
Just nightjar left then its our turn ..
>>42597528Then sided with two face to kill us. He had chances. He decided to risk it everytime and in the end he lost this war. He dies. If he won we'd be dead. He could've been rich skimming off the top of the numbers but he wanted more in a town where gangs are larger than life. He had a good run, but its over. We have zero reason or excuse to let him live. Everyone has a shitty life and nobody wants to die. Too bad he tried to cross the joker.
I think when this gets back to us we should give him a speech when we are alone with him. Tell him that he was exactly right. We were soft, we did not want anyone to get hurt, and we were kind of forced into this. Were is the keyword. He forced our hand and so did batman. He helped create this monster and thank him. Then kill him in the most merciful way we can.
>>42597571Merciful? Too soft boy-o.
>>42597474Nightjar steps into the room."I...see your friends have been enjoying themselves." She sits down. "I'm not here for that. Penguin wants to know all the deals you brokered on behalf of Two-Face. I need names, and I need addresses. As best as you can remember."She takes out s small pad of paper. Slowly, Top Hat tries to list s few names and places- high profile people he got into Two-Face's pocket, businesses who tied themselves to him. Everything Top Hat gave to Two Face, Penguin knows. If he wants it, he will have it. If he doesn't, he'll sell the knowledge.A lot of money just changed hands."Well, I've got everything I need," says Nightjar. "There is a lesson here, of course. ...But I doubt you'll get to put it to good use."She leans closer. "One more thing, William..."She slaps him. Hard. His mouth starts bleeding again, and he lets out a pitiful yelp."Damn you, William." Her voice cracks. "Damn you for playing me, too."She stands, wipes her hand with a small handkerchief, and straightens her suit. She leaves as casually as she entered.
It's probably been obvious to everyone but me until now, but does anyone else get the feeling the Joker is doing the same thing he was in TDK? He's taken a normal person and showed how easily they turn into a monster. His endgame plan is almost certainly to make our true identity public knowledge, to show everyone how close they are to madness.
Caught on this too. Too bad clayface already used the two jokers in one deck line.
>>42597592Dumbass. He had money. He just had to start shit didn't he.he could have left with the money or stayed with the gang.No. He had to be a retard. Still, Thanks William. For giving the new joker the trials he needed to pass.
>>42597571Mercy? He backstabbed us, killed our men, tried to kill us and stole our money.He gonna die a death that will forever be immortalized as a joke.
>>42597592>Missed the "You played me for a fool." JokeThis is why we don't let birds in the gang, especially lovebirds.
>>42597592One final time, the door opens."Hello, Topper." you say, as you enter the room. "All smiles, I see." You indicate his facial wounds.The man who sits before you now is nothing like the man you met weeks ago. There is no sign of the arrogant haughtiness, nor the knowing smile. There isn't even a hat. William Winston isn't just hurt.He's broken.You sit before him. You don't bother using your Joker impression; there is no need for pretense here. Not anymore.You run your fingers through your hair."You know, Top Ha... William. You were right. I was too soft. I tried my best not to hurt anybody. Hell, I didn't choose to be here. I only did this because I was afraid.And then there was you, Will. You chose..." You raise your hands "All this. God knows why. Damn it, Will, you're rich, aren't you? You could have been sitting in a penthouse somewhere letting money just... Pour in. But you chose this. And ever since I got here were always the one pushing me from behind. A lot of men got killed because of you. We almost lost Dottie. I cant't let that go, Will. You bet everything against me, and I guess I'm as surprised as you are that you lost." You rub the back of your neck, thoughtfully. "...and the thing is, if I let you out of here, I'm the one who dies. The wrong person will find out the truth, and BANG." You make a gun with your finger and point it at him for effect."So...I have to ask myself, William... ">"...What am I gonna do with you?"
>>42597656I have a joke for him before we kill him.>I didn't know you had a brother. I would have felt sorry for your mom if she wasn't just losing the spare.
>>42597474Jesus Christ. Two posts of eyegouging and shit and this is the one that gets meThis bitch is evil
>>42597700BANG! Gun to the head. Quick and easy.
>>42597700As I said before just mercy kill the guy. The goons have already had their fun.
>>42597700You know what's funny, we do have a kind of mafia vibe going. We look out for our people, until they cross us. Maybe we should cultivate that, say we just watched The Godfather and thought it would be fun.
>>42597700"You know Willie, guns kill people. I shouldnt have to explain that but... here we are, so next time you're gonna shoot someone make sure it sticks"*bang*
>>42597700You stand, and lift the gun from your belt.Not the comedically long revolver you carry normally. A regular gun, simple and black."...You got anything to say, William?" He lifts his head, one last time, and looks you in the eyes. He breaths deeply, and then speaks."...I...I think this is for the best.
>>42597787>a regular gun, simple and black>simple and blackNOT TOUCHING THAT JOKE.
>>42597795Top Hat's face explodes in a red splatter. His tongue lolls from the gaping hole in his face, and his head hangs limply. His body was given to the hyenas. When they had finished the carcass, they chewed the bones, cracking them down to the marrow. Eventually, there was nothing left.William Winston, with his charmed life and his perfect smile, never returned to work at his father's financial firm. His father, distraught, spent a good deal of the rest of his life assisting campaigns against crime. Priscilla Cris, a dear childhood friend of William's, offered emotional support to the grieving family.Tony Winston never forgot his brother and that strange call he received late that terrible night. Some nights, he stayed late at the office of the firm he inherited, drinking and cursing himself for not checking the mysterious blank file before he had it delivered. But on most nights, life simply went on, and Tony Winston retuned home to his loving wife and his son, William.
>>42597890I....GReat play, QMNot only you are turning the main character to be the joker, you transform /tg/ into a psychopaths. The mindset of The joker is almost readyBravo,QM.
>>42597890For the first time, you look into the face of a man you've killed.Everything else you could shrug off as someone else's fault, or an accident. But this time, it was you. And only you.You know it won't be the last.That night, miles away from Gotham City, you, and the corpse of William Winston, a bus is driving along a desert highway.A man in a heavy coat has been sitting next to a small old man for the last few hours now, though the little man can't be sure when he got on. The strange man's coat is heavy and obscures his face.The bus reaches a stop, and the coated man walks off. The little man sees something in his seat- it seems the man in the coat dropped something.The little man picks it up to look at it, turning the cylinder in his hands. "PEANUTS," it says.He opens the canister, and a live snake pours out. The man screams, its sound carrying on the desert wind, back to the bus stop and the man in the coat.He laughs.
>>42597949>END OF VOLUME ONE>Trade paperbacks coming never to a bookstore near you!Cutting it there. I might do the next one later.Questions, comments, clown porn is welcome.
>>42597949Joker is still alive and he left gotham? How? Perhaps the greatest joke of them all is that he didn't die but fooled batman into thinking he killed the joker.>>42597957Thanks for the quest. I wonder if the donations are going to The new Joker?You doing an pastebin right?
>>42597957I don't know what to say. That was something I guess
>>42597957That was great QM. Plus called living joker.
>>42597957You study psychology or something?This play is spectacular.I have never seen this kind of effect in a quest
>>42597957Well, damn QM.Thats one hellova way to end the season, so to speak. Shit got heavy there for a while, great job.
>>42597971>Joker is still alive and he left gotham? How? Perhaps the greatest joke of them all is that he didn't die but fooled batman into thinking he killed the joker.Now that'd be spoilers.>I wonder if the donations are going to The new Joker?What donations?>You doing an pastebin right?Is that a thing quests do? I figured they just got archived.
>>42597985>I have never seen this kind of effect in a questwhat do you mean?>>42597985Yeah, although I did make sure all the gang members figured he wasn't dead either. Because comic book deaths.The one thing people did guess that mad me sad was everyone spotting Clayface immediately.
>>42598042Starting out innocent then slowly transforming into a psychopath. The effect is not only to the MC, but it migrate to the players as well.We can spare Tophat but we didnt
>>42597890This mad me sadWe went from a qt clown trying to win a beauty pageant, to a slasher movie in the sewers, to some weird mind game puzzle, to EYE GOUGING, to feelsThis is a weird quest man
>>42598100tbqh I think /tg/ was always crazy.>>42597329>>42597339I hope you see why I did what I had to do now.
Thanks for running QM.