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/tg/ - Traditional Games


PREVIOUSLY ON THE SECOND GOAT QUEST:
>We become Deadgoa7!
>Everybody disco dancing! Lots of fun, good time for all!
>MICHAEL BAY!
>Stuffing chewed up pants in the ears of our friends!
>Finally reaching the "goat tower!"
>A wild T-rex appeared!
>Lawn chairs galore!

You are a goat. Your name is Goat who is the Protagonist.

You recall another toothy goat as you look at the ancient goat swaying before you. Though nowhere near as massive as this one, he was loud, obnoxious, and was prone to biting you. This goat, however, seems to be doing nothing beyond the cursed effects of your mask.

He will most likely not bother you. More importantly, you have a throne to find.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42825706
Search on top of ancient goat!
>>
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>>42825744
While your herdmates search elsewhere, sitting on false throne after false throne, you decide that the best way to find the true one would be to search from a good vantage point.

And although the gigantic goat continues to sway, making your efforts difficult, he provides the best of all. You do not see any thrones beyond the ones you saw as you entered. However, you do notice something near the box trap you emerged from...

Goat who Milks You has returned. And he is swaying.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42825981
Attempt to get Fuckhueg Goat to dance on top of Goat who Milks You.
>>
>>42825981
Lick ancient goat, and carry him over to goat who milks you.
>>
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>>42826188
>>42826085
Releasing Goat who is Black, you lick the colossal Goat and drag him toward Goat who Milks You. He attempts to get up and start swaying when you release him, but the two of them collide before falling over. The colossal goat falls on top of you, and you fall over yourself.

That's when the music finally stops. Goat who Milks You bleats angrily as he gets up...and then you hear a deafening roar from the colossus that you dragged over, as he grabs him with his teeth and throws him off the building.

He then turns to you. "That was not necessary, travelers." He can understand goat?

"TRAVLRRRZ! TRAVLRRRRRRRZ!" Goat who is Black screams in the background.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42826454
Sorry, Fuckhueg Goat. We didn't think you'd be able to understand us.
>>
>>42826551
"You can understand us?" You bleat.

"Indeed," the colossus responds. "I have watched over this tower for eons."

"Then we must apologizes for our rude behavior earlier," Goat who is Your Mother bleats, trying to remove the mush in her ears using her hoof. "Furthermore, we seek the goat tower of old. Is this the one?"

"You too seek the throne?" the massive Goat asks. "It is here. And I do know where it is. However, I have been placed here to protect it from the unworthy. Countless goats have fallen before my might; do you believe you can surmount it, travelers?"

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42826812
Yes.
We've licked and headbutted our way all the way here
>>
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>>42828023
You have come too far. Endured too much. Licked too many. Put up with Goat who is very Loud for too long. You will not turn back now.

You look to your comrades. Goat who is Your Mother nods in approval. As does Goat who is very Loud.

Goat who is Black just screeches in the background.

It is time. "We do!" you bleat. "We accept your challenge!"

The colossal goat is silent for a moment, before backing away slightly.

"So be it!" He roars. "I am Goat who is Ancient, warrior of Goat who Reclaimed the Tower!"

Goat who...the heroine herself?!

"I am he who protects the goat throne from those who would abuse it! You, who would dare oppose me, shall be consumed!" With a mighty roar, Goat who is Ancient charges at you.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42828146
DODGE AND LICK!
>>
>>42828303
You do not think Goat who is Ancient can turn too well, so you wait for him to get close enough before you dodge, and then lick as he passes.

Unfortunately, he anticipates your move and swipes you with his massive head, sending you crashing into a wall, splayed out in a ridiculous position.

With you busy righting yourself, Goat who is Ancient then turns to Goat who is Your Mother, in an attempt to do the same. She successfully dodges his charge, but was too far away to lick him herself. Goat who is very Loud tries to lick him while he is distracted, but Goat who is Ancient saw it coming and swiped her with his gigantic tail, putting her in the same position as you.

"The lot of you will not find me so easy to conquer!" he bellows.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42828418
Charge for a Headbutt.
Nobody headbutts me and gets away with it. That's my shtick.
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>>42828498
You rush Goat who is Ancient, attempting to headbutt him. How dare he use your own move against you?

"Again?" He grumbles, and swipes you with his tail, once again slamming you into a wall. This time, half of you is stuck inside, and you start jittering. "It is time I was rid of you!"

"RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID! RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID!" Goat who is Ancient's approach is halted by the scream of Goat who is Black, and turns around to examin your avian companion. He picks him up with his teeth, and throws him at you, slamming into your mask.

...And then he starts swaying. Because the music started again.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42828670
Say to goat who is ancient "Goat Who is Ancient. If you surrender to me, then sway listlessly."
>>
>>42828738
You have more or less disarmed Goat who is Ancient. It would not be too difficult to headbutt him off the tower, but he knows where the goat throne is, so that would be counterproductive.

Instead, you choose to resort to loophole abuse.

"Goat who is Ancient," you bleat. If you surrender to me, then sway listlessly.

He does so, as do your companions. You are victorious!

Except Goat who is Ancient will not tell you his secret as long as this accursed mask continues to blare music. Baphomet's horns...

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42828772
Climb on tob of goat who is ancient, and dive off headfirst to dislodge the helmet.
>>
>>42828786
In an attempt to stop the music, you climb on top of Goat who is Ancient, and jump off, diving into the floor head-first.

It takes several tries, but the mask is finally silent.

"Well played, using that mask against me," Goat who is Ancient bleats. "Very well, the lot of you have won this day. I shall guide you to the throne, but I should warn you that there will be...a very long drop."

He then walks to the edge of the building, and leaps off.

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42828893
Skydiving time!
>>
>>42828953
You lick Goat who is Black and leap off the building. Your herdmates follow suit.

You slam onto the pavement, your limbs splayed out in a comical manner. Goat who is very Loud lands on Goat who is Ancient, who is also laying in such a fashion. Goat who is Your Mother lands on Goat who is very Tall, who happened to be in the area.

"Come," Goat who is Ancient bleats after you have all righted yourselves. The concrete nearby gives way, revealing a massive staircase. "The throne awaits."

You step into what is practically the halls of Goathalla. Ahead a throne made of goat skulls sits unoccupied...this must be the throne Goat who Reclaimed the Tower sat upon.

"I was not there to witness such a spectacle," Goat who is Ancient bleats, as if reading your mind. "But yes, Goat who Reclaimed the Tower did sit upon that throne. Just as you are about to."

>What will you do, Goat who is the Protagonist?
>>
>>42829058
Slowly approach the throne.
Lick it, to ensure its authenticity.
Then sit/stand on it.
>>
>>42829104
Your comrades nod in approval. Slowly, you approach the throne.

Even so, you're a little skeptical that this is actually the throne. So you lick it. Try as you might, it will not budge. This must truly be the one!

You jump upon the throne, and it bursts into flames. When they die out, your large-eared mask is replaced with one reminiscent of a goat skull.

"It is done," Goat who is Ancient bellows. "All hail Goat who is Herd Leader!" He bows in reverence, as do Goat who is Your Mother and Goat who is very Loud.

Goat who is very Tall stares at you blankly, while Goat who is Black just screeches.

You would go down in history as the Goat who crushed the two-legged menace, and ushered in a new era for goatkind. Like Goat who Reclaimed the Tower before you, goats young and old, large and small would bleat of your tales of glory.

Also, there are no more goats with spinning hooves. Those things are just rude.

~fin~

>And that's all, folks. Thanks for playing!

I gotta admit, this turned out pretty shitty for my first multi-parter. The first Goat Quest doesn't count, since it was meant to be a one-shot to begin with. Thanks for bearing with me, though.
>>
>>42829235
I enjoyed it.
Much like the source material, it was odd, and dysfunctional, but that's really what kept me coming back.



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