>make a deception check to convince bandits im one of them>20>I not only deceive them into thinking im one of them>i convince them im their leader>i convince myself im their leader>live out the rest of my days as a bandit leader
>need to sneak past some guards>roll bluff check to convince first guard I am his father who left whe he was a child>20>he believes it>he takes me home to his family>they all greet me with "Pop pop finally came home">mfw I have grandkids
>go to give an old friend a hug>DM says to make a strength check>wut>do it anyway>20>i crush my best friend's ribs in front of his wife and children
>>42827765Go to Hades and get him back, Heracles.
>Strength check to climb>20>Climb so hard you fly into the sky, roll for falling damage
>>42828069No no no.>Strength check to climb>20>move the entire plane down instead of yourself up
>>42827638>Need to get over wall>Make climb check to scale it>20>put hand against wall>Launch into space>Land on Mars>Roll engineering>20>Terraform that shit>Other people join me>Mars now colonized.
>We can only have fun if the dice say soGotta love PnP Roleplaying.
>roll a Perception check>nat 20>perceive the underlying 84400-dimensional hologram structure of all possible realities>go mad from the revelation
>>42828103Naw, it just looks like a rave.
>roll to attack enemy>20>sword flies from hand, rotating like a boomerang>decapitates all enemies in the dungeon >flies back into hands
>>42827638>Random Search check to see if I can find any loose change>20>I search so well I find myself and become enlightened, giving up on the life of an adventurer
>>42828122Props for getting the reference. I can't remember the exact number though.
>>42828103Alternatively you see that they're taking the Hobbits to Isengard
>Swim check>nat 20>discover Atlantis
>> Roll stealth check to hide for an ambush>> 20>> Hide so well I lose myself>> Roll up new character
>>42828150196,833.Don't ask how it meshes with WildStorm being integrated into the DCU, go to a /co/ Morrison/Hypercrisis thread for that.
>>42828168Everytime this happens to meI just think this is playing in the background.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zjqdDMgpbDU&index=4&list=PLUcXHQ7VorrWZwLE5j2m89ltgsvbHMPPX
>Roll Sense Motive as a NPC is speaking>20>Suddenly understand his whole life story, motivations and this extends to his whole race>Get crowned King and usher a new age of peace on the land
>roll Ride check for a horse you're riding>nat 20>meld with and become one with your mount>congrats, you are now a centaur
>A bunch of people are speaking at once>I need to hear a single creature's words>Roll perception>20>I hear and comprehend every single conversation around me, details and all>Hear woman telling her friend how guilty she feels about cheating on her husband>Also hear her husband, across the room, bragging to his friend about how he is cheating on her too, feeling proud of himself for keeping it a secret>The person who they are both cheating on each other with is my target, who is currently bragging about all of the people he is sleeping with>I go up and use my falchion to kill him in front of everyone>The couple runs to the dead man, crying over his body>They find out that they both were cheating on each other with the same person>Their shared grief and revelation of their guilt brings them together, causing them to cuddle while mourning their dead lover in the middle of the room>I walk out of the establishment, proud of myself that I may have just saved a marriage
>>42828270Welcome to traditional gaming, where you can solve domestic issues with murder
>Roll escape artist check>20>squeeze my entire body down to the size of an atom>collapse the space around me>begin attracting matter with my intense gravitational full>shift into black hole and destroy the entire planet
>>42828306Okay then, Film Theory's Antman.
>>42828306>make escape artist check>as a halfing rouge>roll twenty>then butt god happened.
>make a diplomacy check to get a discount at a store.>Nat 20>clerk ups and leaves handing me the deed to the store, a list of all its suppliers, his safe key, his clothes, and a kiss on the cheek.
>make lore check on strange cult>natural 20>know all of the cult's doctrine>In fact I fucking wrote it>I am actually the BBEG
>met some goblins in the middle of a ceremony>roll deception to convince them i bring slaves with me>nat 20>goblin priests thinks I'm their god>I'm now convinced I'm a god>ascend to godhood
>it's the nat 20 meme
>>42828452>roll perform to bring back Nat 20 meme>You can guess the rest.
>>42828452>>42828452>Try to make a joke in tg>nat 20>make a meme
>>42828383> >make lore check on strange cult> >natural 20> >know all of the cult's doctrine> >In fact I fucking wrote it> >I am actually the BBEG
>>42828543Yes, that's what he said.
>>42828543> > >make lore check on strange cult> > >natural 20> > >know all of the cult's doctrine> > >In fact I fucking wrote it> > >I am actually the BBEG
>party traveling in the woods, running low on food>roll survival to forage>nat 20>character becomes a hermit with max druid levels>leaves behind the party and his other "chains to society" to live in the woods forever
>fighting with my signature weapon>roll to attack>nat 20>drill pierces the heavens
>roll for anal circumference >integral of x^(x-1)>your anus is bigger than your character >collapse into an anal singularity
>>42829154Is that gonna become a thing?Cause, damn if so. I made a fucking thing that became a thing.
>>42828092fucking mechanicus bullshit
>>42827638>make intelligence check to remember the magic word that opens the cave entrance>20>I remember my past lives as an arch-mage and demigod>I unlock the secret of mana>fuse with magic itself and transcend
Well, it may not belong here but>Playing a paladin>Wizard fucks with my mind and makes me see my party members as demons>They do dumb shit to reinforce that notion>Roll faith to not smite>Nat 20>And then i killed all of them
>>42827638>trying to intimidate shopkeeper so he lowers his prices for me>roll a 20>he lowers the prices ridiculously low>I work out that if I buy the right amount/type of goods under these conditions he will owe ME money>spend 20 minutes in shop>get 1000 feet of rope, a longsword, 30 daggers, 300 days of rations and 6 tents for -10 gold>Other shoppers chastise me for my extreme [s]couponing[/s] bargaining
>>42829265Fighter: God damn-it where did Frank goDruid: Maybe he like, Ascended yoCleric: Don't be stupid Jamal.
>>42829280>Playing a student in Economics class>Intelligence check to say something smart>nat 20>I ask my teacher why the value of money couldn't change>He just looked at me like I blew his mind>I become a stock broker
>bard attempts "detect motive" on a random-ass catfish>he rolls a 20>mfw I'm the gm and am forced to come up with a back story for a catfish
>>42830684But the value of money DO change...
>>42828101>try to bait>natural 20>end up believing my own shitty bait
>>42828638>> > >make lore check on strange cult>> > >natural 20>> > >know all of the cult's doctrine>> > >In fact I fucking wrote it>> > >I am actually the BBEG
>>42827638>Trying to jump over small pit.>Nat 20>Jump over it with such force I begin to fly foreward at mach 5>Crash into wall and explode.
>Ask DM if I can roll for my character to call him out for reading off the wrong location card"How would you even roll for that?""Strength check against the fourth wall.">mfw DM allows it>mfw natural 20
>>42834870>make lore check on chaos cult>natural 01>know all of the cult's doctrine>including their patrons true name>executed by party for probable heresy
>Need to rescue party member from tower>Try to bluff my way past guards>Nat 20>They all flee from the tower convinced that I'm an unstoppable ten foot tall elven demigod
>On the floor, dying from grievous injuries>Make death saving throw>Nat fucking 20>I ascend past mortality itself and become a permanent entity in the universe, unable to ever die in any form
>>42828101It's the middle of the day anon, no point in baiting during off peak hours
>Attempt to decipher text from a language I haven't seen>Nat 20>I know the entirety of the language, and I know it better than anyone who has ever known it. I know it so well that it's the only language I ever speak from then on.
>be browsing /tg/>see a dice right beside me>decide to roll it, why the fuck not>i need to think something funny for this roll>exclaim to myself "I make a bluff check to say something stupid">20>suddenly, see a post of mine in this thread>mfw
>>42837325You should have rolled to brush your teeth.
>>42827638This is the dumbest shit and bait
>>42828452>tfw tg ruined the nat 20 memeit's better when the consequences of the critical success end up being negative, rather than super duper positive
>>42830999>be catfish>I like mud>I'm hungry
>>42827638>make a bluff check to tell the king his daughter is dead and totally not in my private plane of existence>20>nothing out of the ordinary happens because you don't fucking crit skillchecks>go on with business
>>42837500>this isn't what I'm used to>I don't like change>stop doing things different, you're ruining everything
>climb down the cliff on the rope>lose holind on the rope, roll to catch myself>nat 20>grip and pull the rope so hard it causes the whole cliff to collapse on me.
>Decide to scale wall of enemy fort>nat20.jpg>Oh shit, I'm going to fly off into the sunrise>Roll to hang on to the wall>nat20 2.0.jpg>fort walls are coming WITH me>Well, if I'm flying into the sunrise with this wall, may as well hit something with it>nat20 3.0>I just girded Venus with the walls of Troy>Later that day, Trojan War endedStill died horribly, but everything went better than expectedOf course I'm full of it
>>42838551>Of course I'm full of itJesus Christ.You open a fucking thread on 4chan, expecting honest replies, and this is what you get?God.Fucking.Damn it.
>>42838801Whoa, relax, anon. You are way too stressed out over that.
>>42838850No. No.I am incredibly upset.I mean, look at posts like >>42835853, >>42829280, and >>42829113, who are obviously just sharing stories from their games, and then this one shithead comes along and ruins everything.FUCK.
>>42837793No, he's right. This thread and this meme are shitty.
>>42837793When a joke comes full circle and becomes what it was originally mocking, it stops being funny.
>>42836298Unlike most of the posts ITT, it actually happened in a game.
>Transporting some treasure across town to my party's keep>A group of bandits ambush us in order to steal our stuff>Roll to intimidate them>20>The bandits are so scared of my presence that they lose their sanity. Some kill themselves right on the spot>DM asks me to make a perception check>20>I see my reflection off of one of the bandit's eyes>I am become death, destroyer of worlds>My party is in shock. Some want to draw their swords at me, but can't bring themselves to.>The cleric weeps and breaks into prophecy. Even his gods fear me.>I purchase a new helmet to cover my face. My true form must never be seen again, not even to myself.