Let's play a game. Give the non-magical item above your post a magical property, then name a non-magical item.I'll start.>A pair of scissors.
>>44172416>a pair of scissors that can cut Life FibersA lawnmower
>>44172442> The lawnmower doesn't cut the grass, it just shrinks it down to below a specific height. No lawn clippings, just tiny grass.A pair of sunglasses, one lens missing.
>>44172416>scissorsWhile holding these scissors, you can see red tape extending out of the heads of those around you. Cutting the tape with these sheers drastically reduced their lifespan.>an old VCR
>>44172442>a lawnmower that can cut Life FibersA butter knife
>>44172472Oops. Knew I'd taken too long.
>>44172468A pair of sunglasses, one lens missing.Through the missing lens you can see a still picture of the area you're looking at 5 minutes into the future every 5 minutes.
>>44172468>Gazing through the lenses let you see a kaleidoscope of futures. One lens was removed to let the user also see the present. Where is that lens now?A hip flask wrapped in blue leather.
>>44172486> a butter knife that can cut Life FibersCandles
>>44172492>Forgot to provide an itemA tube of lip balm
>>44172521Lip balm that perfectly disguises your voice when it is applied.A pillow
>>44172543A pillow that guarantees prophetic dreams when slept on.A dildo
>>44172494The flask contains an inexhaustible supply of an extremely bitter draught that acts as an cure-all antidote to any and all poisons.>An old Walkman cassette player with matching headphones
>>44172543>A pillow that ensures you will get a good nights rest no matter whatSeriously though I would've killed for that last nightA pipewrench
>>44172543>A pillow allows the user to immediately fall asleep. You could even whack somebody with it to make them forcibly fall asleep for at least 30 minutes. Additionally, gives a full night's rest in half the time but is unable to remove dark circles from your eyes.A lampshade
>>44172579>a dildo that changes shape depending on whatever the user thinks is the ideal penis.cake
>>44172543A pillow that transforms into the waifu drawn on it by hugging it.A gimp suit
>>44172612>The lampshade, when placed over a source of light, instead emits magical darkness.A manila folder.
>>44172612>Lampshade of Extinguishing>Immediately snuffs out anything it's put on>Put it on someone's head to erase their mindbananas
>>44172592Popping a cassette in with different headphones does nothing out of the ordinary. When you provided headphones, you still get music...just in a random different language each time. Still sounds like it's from the same people.>a rubber ball
>>44172599A pipewrench that acts like a dowsing rod, allowing you to locate any source of flowing water in the immediate area, including but by no means limited to leaky pipes.>A small, pocket-sized reference book of facts and figures
>>44172655A rubber ball that gains momentum each time it bounces. Bounce it around enough and it will eventually fly into space.I know that's impossible but we MAGIC hereSocks
>>44172693The socks are always a size too small no matter who wears them.An acorn.
>>44172681The book can be written in. When one of the facts in the book is changed it alters reality to suit it.A Teddy Bear
>>44172642>>44172612Reminds me of:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K0VQx3V4bno
>>44172693A simple pair of fluffy woolen socks that have the ability to make any pair of shoes perfectly warm comfortable to wear at all times, even going so far as to repel water, and protect against environmental damage.>A two-headed US quarter from 1973
>>44172681The facts are only truths you'd NEVER want to know and the figures back them up with irrefutable evidence. A leaf.
>>44172693>I know it's impossible but we MAGIC hereWhy did you feel the need to make that clarification? We are in a thread about magic items. Are you dense?
>>44172766It is enchanted to always lands on tails. It continues spinning forever once flipped.>A hoe
>>44172714The teddy bear does you tax forms or any other related legal forms. an empty pen.
>>44172772The leaf when cupped in both hands fills the holders mind with happy childhood memories, the memories are not from the holders childhood and are in fact removed from the minds of nearby children.> A large iron key too large to fit any regular lock.
>>44172814W A N TANTSeriously, that sounds based.
>>44172772The leaf is always a bright and vibrant green and never wilts or dries out. If grafted onto a sickly plant using standard gardening methods, that plant will likewise grow healthy and strong, at which time the leaf can be removed and used again.>A small bell, of the kind commonly kept on countertops to call for service
>>44172790The hoe is also a ho. A haypenny.
>>44172843The bell summons a butler or maid to help you anywhere and anytime regardless of impossible circumstances. (Maids and Butlers are held to the Service providers Code of Honor and Ethics sexual requests are a mandatory call to the local authorities and possible litigation.)A lawyer.
>>44172814When you use the key on any open expanse of wall it opens like a door.A top.
>>44172902The lawyer specializes in working out magical contracts with fey, demons, and other entities known for treachery.A large coffee mug.
>>44172902The lawyer is in fact a tiny parasitic/symbiotic organism that when placed against a human ear will painlessly devour and replace it, connecting itself to the host's blood supply. From then on it will offer perfect up to date legal advice on any issue the host may wish to know about and which is only audible to the host.> A single blue satin glove.
>>44172937Spinning the top causes you to realise that everything that happened since you last woke up did not occur, and you have been dreaming.Causing you to wake up, and begin the day again, unfortunately the 'real' events of the day are not identical to the dreamed version and thus is largely useless to see or predict the future. A box of matches
>>44172947The coffee mug is always full of a substance. What that substance is exactly is up for debate but is effects are genuine wakefulness no matter your prior state of sleep. A mint box.
>>44172814He or she who possesses the Key are granted the ability to convince anyone they meet to divulge to them any and all secrets they may be keeping.>A wristwatch, utilitarian in design but finely crafted
>>44172472The VCR is jammed and the video inside cannot be removed. If hooked up to a television and a camera via creative use of cords it allows you to rewind and view everything that camera has ever seen.A floppy disk.
>>44172785Because there are bitchers and moaners on this board.>>44172979It makes that one hand super strong.An aux cable.
>>44172991>Box of matches>They all do this thingA compass with a smiley face on the back
>>44172979When wearing the glove people around you are convinced you are a perfect example of future fashion and will emulate whatever it is you currently wear blue satin glove and all.
>>44172937Placing the top onto a jar or container of any liquid separates it into layers of its individual substances, as though a centrifuge had been employed.A stick of incense.
>>44173030The compass will always point the way to happiness, be warned it is not necessarily your happiness it points to.>A fancy glass container full of sweets.
>>44173030>dat filenameIt always points the way to true happiness.a heart-shaped box.
>>44173030It points toward someone who is happy.An old tin mug with some cryptic maker's marks.
>>44172991The box always carries a single perfectly dry match no matter the actual condition of the box. A ball made up of white hexagons and black pentagons
>>44173004The mints, when consumed grant the user supernatural speaking skills, they always know just what to say to get what they want. The mints only last an hour. Every use of a mint requires you to remain silent for a period of time equal to each word spoken while under their effect. This limit cannot be overcome by anything, even other artifacts.An empty wallet.
>>44173099It turns whatever liquid is poured into it into a strong, murky alcoholic beverage that tastes vaguely of cherries and leaves no hangover the next day.>The torn-off left half of an old gas station roadmap
>>44173047When burned the incense leads all who breathe it into a dogmatic belief of your choosing.a thimble.
>>44173099Drinking tea, coffee, or cheap alcohol from the mug will temporarily transform the drinker into a grizzled war veteran for a period of time. The character and duration of the transformation is determined by the type and amount drunk.>A live snapping turtle.
>>44173160The map is an up to date version of where you are and details leylines, entrances to other worlds, and the best greasy spoon joints. It makes no provisions for your personal transportation or magical affinity.An old radio.
>>44173160When reunited with its missing right half and thrown on the ground in any open area, an unassuming gas station springs into existence. The locals act like it's always been there, making it a perfect base or hideaway. You must staff the gas station to keep it in business.A fridge magnet.
>>44173194He snaps at invisible spirits, and can be be used to detect their presence and keep your pond free of them.A strop for a razor, sans razor.
>>44173213It attracts cold. That is, if kept in a warm room, it will seemingly pull local cold spots around it instead.A porcelain eye.
>>44173203The radio amplifies nearby ambient noise, making it easier to sneak through outdoor areas. A guard may still wonder why the local wildlife is so noisy all of a sudden.A shoehorn.
>>44173128When filled with blank paper and treated as currency whoever you hand these "bills" to will believe it amounts to exact amount of currency needed for the exchange at hand. A coin with face to worn to recognize.
>>44173258Rub it for luck, and you'll appear bland and anonymous- faceless, even- for a short time.A silver platter, with lid.
>>44173128Carrying only the empty wallet on your person effectively makes you a living John Doe. You become unrecognizable, completely forgettable and leave no impression on anyone you meet.>An oddly shaped, ornamental glass paperweight
>>44173253>Gives a DM a way to force all of the characters' subplots into one muddled questline.>May induce TPK'sA 20 sided die
>>44173169The thimble, quite simply, protects the wearer from any and all stabbing wounds.>A gold-played flip-top lighter with a four-leaf clover engraved in the side
>>44173253The shoehorn somehow recognises pairs of shoes and uses them as components in a teleport: while wearing socks or nothing on your feet, easing either foot into a shoe with the shoehorn will safely transport you a short distance away from the other half of the pair. A brown paper bag.
>>44173253When blown like a horn it acts as such. A flyer for a now derelict retirement home.
>>44173325A +1 oddly-shaped, ornamental glass paperweight that is actually one of the components used to summon the world-eater and begin the Apocalypse.>A space heater
>>44173116Causes arguments and fights whenever used in sports. A dragon dildo.
>>44173401Wearing the paper bag over one's head allows you to perfectly impersonate anyone you choose, regardless of how you yourself choose to act during the impersonation.>A common, long-handled shovel
>>44173477The shovel is absolutely required for digging with the devil.a porcelain egg-cup.
>>44173477The trowel cannot be used to dig into dirt, clay or sand.It can however slide into the hardest stone as if it were nothing more than earth. Beloved by saboteurs everywhere. A sword hilt. Sans sword.
>>44173302Whenever you're hungry and the lid is covering the platter an undeniable and enticing smell will be emitted. An ant.
>>44173394Causes an overwhelming compulsion to flip the lighter open and closed to come over you. A pop can.
>>44173502Setting gemstones cut into an egg shape into the cup causes a gemstone chick to hatch from it in a few days.A rugby ball.
>>44173463When used in a proper manner(this already precludes many individuals due to anatomy) it transforms the wearer into a dragon. A regular dildo.
>>44173325The ornament can be used to render anyone or anything it is placed on immobile. It conforms to their shape as required.An old cellphone.
>>44173564that transforms in weight and density into rock when struck by an objecta bathroom
>>44173419This old, kerosene-burning space heater will keep whomever lights its fire warm wherever they go, provided that it has the fuel to keep burning in their absence.>The keys to an old El Camino on a brass keychain shaped like a laughing monkey
>>44173564Holding the ball endows supreme confidence that rugby is the greatest sport ever and you will be compelled to tell other such. A leather egg shaped ball.
>>44173588The old cell phone is indestrucable but has a faulty unfixable button.>A folding ladder
>>44173588When used like a cellphone it causes brain cancer in others within 10 feet. A wax apple.
>>44173599The keys open the door on any car, and fit inside the ignition, but will only turn the engine over, will never start ita leather wallet
>>44173581When used in a proper manner(this already precludes many individuals due to anatomy) it transforms the wearer into a slut. A regular fleshlight.
>>44173626The ladder folds down in size and weight to an impossible degree. A hard-boiled egg.
>>44173626Can be unfolded limitlessly, but has a tendency to refold itself when it feels a bit tireda pair of converse all stars
>>44173603Holding the leather, egg shaped ball endows supreme athleticism, but reduces the carrier to a blithering idiot who must be clearly instructed if they are to complete even the simplest of tasks.a small yellow ball
>>44173642When used in a proper manner(this already precludes many individuals due to anatomy) it transforms the wearer into a sad and lonely human being. A Bad Dragon brand Husky fleshlight.
>>44173631That tastes just like and will provide the nutrition of a regular apple when eaten, but will leave a blue residue around the mouth of whomever eats itA bar of soap
>>44173710When held it gives the wearer an air of belligerent assholery and years of compounded shoulder, elbow, and wrist injuries but damn do bitches love it.A small hollow blue rubber ball.
>>44173675This egg if cracked creates an amber coloured black hole that will eventually absorb everything.>A vial of blood
>>44173752The soap is absolutely frictionless and perfectly rounded at the edges.A bent nail.
>>44173752When this bar of soap is dropped, there will always be a desperate horny man behind you.>A fancy looking shirt
>>44173772The blood if shaken (not stirred) creates a massive amount of UV light. A sealed locket.
>>44173588The owner of this old cellphone will periodically receive calls on it from a mysterious female "informant" who will provide hints, tips and cheats pertinent to whatever problems or projects the owner might have.>A small combination lock
>>44173806The shirt looks fancy but to the wearer is an ugly and scratchy Hawaiian print christmas sweater.A christmas sweater.
>>44173864The locks spinner never counts down when turned no matter the direction. A U bike lock.
>>44173684When tied together at the laces and thrown up over a set of powerlines, this pair of Converse will establish a shady meeting place at which a shaggy, shabby looking street merchant will trade with you.>A dinged and dented yellow bicycle
>>44174076Turns to lightning when rode on, allowing you to zap to the extreme.>Coffee mug
>>44173788When held betwixt the fingers, this bent nail allows its wielder to remotely remove, undo or destroy fasteners like nails, screws, and bolts.>A cheerful red and white checkered oven mitt
>>44173394When ignited the light from the lighter will reveal the forms of incorporeal and otherwise invisible creatures. It's fire can burn and destroy ghosts and other incorporeal objects but is otherwise normal, albiet neon blue, fire.A 25 pound diamond.
>>44174158Oven mitt completely heat proof. You could dip that fucker in lava and it would be whole still.>a printer
>>44174158This mitt was crafted with so much love and protection it can be set on fire and not have the flames spread beyond the glove, or burn the person using them. Useful for fistfights.>a mini stapler
>>44174243The printer itself is normal, but the ink it uses is actually a powerful contact poison, killing or crippling those who read its pages after drying.
>>44174206Looking through the many, many facets of this gem will give the diamond's owner glimpses of many, many potential futures, all of which seem to include the distraught owner giving of tossing the diamond away.>A peculiar prepaid phone card
>>44174243Can print any desired picture simply by being connected to a power source and set up in direct sunlight, even vague thoughts or future occurences to some extent, i.e. thinking about tomorrows sports page and pressing print will give you a perfect photocopy, but thinking about something like Armageddon will turn out like a red and black surrealist painting that may or may not be accurate.
>>44174367>a pink Highlighter
>>44174365This gives a phone a direct line to wish granting services.Costs and effectiveness of the service provided will vary.An original production liberator pistol.
>>44174395Will reveal the innermost thoughts of anyone the wielder chooses by highlighting the relevant words in any handy book provided.>An old kitchen knife with "Suzie <3" carved crudely into the wooden handle
>>44174497A sharp blade with a standard sharpness enchantment, but it refuses to cut into meat. This includes muscle, and has unfortunately been used by demented torturers to slice and flay victims without leaving them crippled.>an oil on wood portrait of a very smug man
>>44174119Any liquid besides coffee poured into this mug will vanish without a trace.>A standard white plastic kitchen timer
>>44173856When work around the neck and gripped tightly in one fist, this locked has the power to force any target the wearer chooses to relive their most painful memories afresh.>A complete set of billiard balls
>>44174689By thinking of a mundane task you want to complete and setting a time on the timer, you will finish said task within he time you set, but will retain no memory of it.
>>44174937The balls are able to move exactly how the owner wants them too, and this included going at whatever speed they wish.>A novelty spaghetti measurer shaped like a cowboy.
>>44175027Experiences a slight pull westward. Can be used for navigation. A live chicken
>>44175027Any item sent through the spaghetti measurer from one end to the other will be transfigured into a solid silver version of that item.>An nondescript leather briefcase
>>44175090The chicken only lays an egg once a year, but any dish made from that egg will be supremely delicious.>An empty cookie tin
>>44175027Someone holding the measurer can staunch and plug wounds by filling the holes in with anything, and although the wound won't become worse, emptying or dropping the measurer will reverse the healing.>A handheld radio with unlabelled dials.
>>44175158The tin works as a bag of holding, but only for things that could be classified as cookies.>A broken china plate
>>44175112When the holder of the briefcase speaks to another person, whatever that person most wants can be found in the briefcase - in sample sizes, naturally.>A coffee-maker.
>>44175112Anything small but vital you think you have forgotten for an event will be in the last of its compartments you search. Like chargers, cables, flash drives, papers etc
>>44175211>Any liquid put through it will be allowed to be poured into the>>44174689coffee mug.Except coffee.A trash can
>>44175090If provided something to write with and plentiful seed as a reward, this chicken can solve any math problem given to it, no matter how complex.>A red wooden yardstick with brass fittings
>>44175112It is always filled with whatever documents one would need to appear busy and productive, although it is random if they would ever actually be useful. Occasionally illegal or secret documents will appear.>A life size brass cast of a parrot.
>>44175186Any meal served on the plate will be broken down to its base ingredients and organized neatly on the nearest available surface.>A violin missing one string
>>44175211No matter what you put where and in what quantities this coffee maker only produces a delightful oolong tea. A 100lb steel tire rim.
>>44175262This brass parrot is able to perfectly mimic its owner's voice and manner of speech, and may be taught by its owner to repeat any number of words or phrases upon command.>A small ornamental cactus in a decorative earthenware pot
>>44175457>>A small ornamental cactus in a decorative earthenware potThe cactus shoots its spikes at any elves in its presenceA slinky
>>44175348If placed into a bonfire, the fuel will last nearly three times as long.
>>44175487It will locate and climb any nearby stairs. A train ticket
>>44175487If set down on the ground or the floor, this slinky will walk itself toward the quickest, easiest way out of any dangerous situation.>A common CD
>>44175581Anything stored on the CD is automatically remembered by an ethereal being with a dark following...A reclining chair
>>44175540This ticket functions as a free pass to any form of public transportation - even those not of this place or time.>A small box of toothpicks
>>44175581The CD can only have music files written onto it. For every ten files in the CD, it erases the files and comes up with one song that is a mixture the general genres and themes.Songs made by the CD are always good quality but, they cannot be erased or copied.>A pair of headphones
>>44175657The picks are used by the tooth fairy to mine teeth. Fucking fairies, man. >A children's chemistry set.
>>44175657The toothpicks will start rattling loudly in their box whenever a lie is spoken within earshot of the bearer.>A paper airplane
>>44175841The paper airplane will spontaneously combust when near anything other then the user, it can also be used to make a stunning paper hat.Some Styrofoam
>chewed and badly decomposing chucks of whale
>>44175939my bad, the Styrofoam grants the user immunity to any kind of accelerated decomposing magic
>>44175960The stench of the chunks of whale will paralyze anyone who is unlucky enough to be near it, However it cannot penetrate a Gas Mask.The shredded tail of a german shepherd
>>44176055+5 to Diplomacy rolls with wolves and gives advantage on rolls when attacking sheepThe eye of a Tyrannosaurus
>>44176189>+5 to Diplomacy rolls with dragons/kobols/other reptilian races and gives advantage on rolls when attacking long-necks>Monkey's paw
>>44176189The eye will give you a glimpse into the past, letting you stay there for a short time, Whatever you have/are on will come back with you including riding dinosaurs.An ugly looking body pillow
>>44176220Will give you 1 free wish for anything you'd like, Afterwards it makes a good beating stick.The ear of a cow
>>44176244gives you the ability to speak the "cow" languageA living headless chicken, will stay alive if fed
>>44176292Will allow you to detect all invisible units in a radius around the chicken.A jibsheet
>>44176055Preserved and hung from a leather cord like a lucky rabbit's foot, this shepherd's tail has the power to drive dogs mad and cause them to flee the wearer's presence.>A heavy shot glass with a cat's face carved into the bottom
>>44175167>Turning these mysterious dials will allow you to hear what's going on in the same spot.. but in alternate timelines.>>44175245>This trashcan presents itself as ordinary, but it's actually a portal. Whatever you put in it will appear in an identical trashcan, created as the only two of their kind.An ornate silver hairbrush.
>>44176404>Combing the hair of a werewolf will cure them of their lycanthropy>Combing the hair of non-werewolf humans will turn them into werewolvesA sandle.Just one.
>>44172623>Someone picks up the dildo>It ceases to exist
>>44176404Combing one's hair with this brush will cause it to grow a little bit longer with each stroke.>An RFID badge on a red lanyard, bearing a nondescript name and photo
>>44176482This sandle will allow the wearer to NEVER get anything below their feet/in the shoe. So no sand in the shoes.A perfectly rectangular orange
>>44175739comes with instructions on how to concoct children from the provided chemicals
>>44177152>a bean bag chair
>>44177145Grown on a perfectly rectangular tree. Stacks nicely.A toothbrush.
>>44177180This toothbrush can destroy ANYTHING unclean or unholy. including placque with the right toothpaste.A really fat cat with diabetes.
>>44177179When sat it, the chair causes a person of the users gender and approximate age to appear on the closest sitting surface. Their appearance will seem totally natural and go without notice, even if the chair is used in the middle of a party. They are fun to talk to and give excellent advice on any number of subjects, but upon the user standingstanding, they will complain that they want to sit in the chair for once, before vanishing.A fresh fruitcake.
>>44177180when stuck in the ear, will clean away whatever unpleasant thought is in the users head at the time, erasing the memory or hypothetical scenario completely>a weathered red Mets baseball cap
>>44177296This fruitcake will safeguard anyone near it, Once eaten, The person will gain immeasurably powers over fruit and cakes.A donut made out of metal shavings and pubic hair
>>44177252When presented with several shoes worn by different people, it will play with the laces on the one worn by the person with the best business sense.A scuffed-up pizza delivery driver car topper.
>>44177308This cap will send the spirits of the Mets baseball team to run at any enemy and beat the holy shit out of them with bats.A orange potato made of cheese.
>>44177356This topper will deliver fresh pizza to the wielders house for exactly one month, And then disappearing to the next person to find it.An empty bag of cheetos
>>44177371Consumption causes you to question your life and why you chose to eat such a thing anywaysA stick
>>44177340Appears delicious until an hour after being eaten, at which point it's nature becomes obvious. The eater is reminded of their first RP character.An empty shoebox
>>44177406This stick was wielded by an ancient wizard, This stick will allow the wielder to send extreme cold chills at other people, Including themselves./pol/
>>44177439By furiously shaking the box you will get a free pair of shoes, putting these on will teleport you into the person who made the shoe's memories.The left testicle of a hyena.
>>44177371tastes intensely of orange (the fruit), potato, and (american) cheese simultaneously, the conflicting tastes may cause Grand Maul seizure in the weak willed when consumed>a pamphlet of indecipherable IKEA chair instructions
>>44177406Peculiarly sticky, despite nothing added to it to make it so. Roll of toilet paper.
>>44177406Is perfectly weighted for swinging or throwing, and the knots always seem to be positioned just right for you to grip it comfortably. Breaks if you hit something with it even lightly, has a supernatural tendency to wind up in woodpiles and stacks of kindling.A mousetrap.
>>44177481The book magically inscribes itself with instructions on what the reader needs to do to find what they always desire which will end up being a chair.a zip-up hoodie
>>44177481If spoken aloud, this pamphlet will give the person power over all furniture and let them throw furniture at other people, no matter the weight.A non-fat salad
>>44177443when browsed, causes the user to realize that Hitler did nothing wrong
>>44177541when consumed, will give the consumer the herculean will to actually lose weight and keep it off, leading to radical (some might say obsessive) lifestyle changes (for better or worse)> a 6-plug power strip with a broken power button
>>44177671when the power button is pressed, Every single server on 4chan will be DDoS'd at the exact same time.The thumb of a flying kim-jong-un
>>44177505The roll goes on forever, but will never break apart.A blank notebook
>>44173514The hilt produces a blade when drawn from a scabbard, but only the kind of blade the holder believes should come from the blade. This varies from a rusted, broken blade to a gleaming blade of light, depending on how much faith the user has in the sword.A wrench.
>>44177884Can be used to drill holes and tighten screws.> a watch without numbers and only one hand
>>44178050The watch allows you to see what an enemy does depending on where it's pointing at.>if it's pointed at one you get 1 minute of future vision, two you get 2 minutes etcA lock of hair from someone you fancy
I've never wanted to take part in a Lost Room game more than I do right now after browsing this thread.
>>44178323>A lock of hair from someone you fancy, and they'll fancy you back as long as you pay a small pricea pet carrier
>>44178606>a pet carrier that's been enchanted to carry any animal or beast you capture, it will remain at it's same size but the weight will depend on what beast you've caughtA set of sticky notes
>>44178050Can be used to stop time for everyone and everything except the wearer. The hand only rotates when time is stopped. Once the hand makes a full rotation, (after 24 hours of stopped time) the wearer dies.> An old wooden writing desk
>>44178679The sticky notes remind you when you've forgotten something - only problem is, the clues as to what you've forgotten are so vague as to be nearly useless.>A large novelty beer mug in the shape of a boot.
>>44178976>you can fit one foot into the boot and it becomes a boot of asskicking that has a chance of inflicting confusion/drowsiness on foes, however, when you're not wearing it, it reverts back to it's fragile (must be Italian) beer mug form.>an unpopped popcorn kernal
>>44178976The beer mug once belonged to a wealthy but long-dead baron. When alone with the beer mug, it will speak in the baron's voice, and answer any question. The Baron's spirit is bound to only ever tell the truth, but is devious and seeks to bring about the downfall of it's owner. It will never speak or animate when in the company of people other than its current owner.> a dried chicken bone
>>44174427Every time the Liberator is Fired you hear a black man Shout "It Looks Cool Man!">The Skull of Bob Marlie
>>44179120If you throw the Chicken Bone into the mullet of any canine enemy it will be guaranteed to choke on it>A knifegun
>>44179147It's a knife that turns whatever it cuts into a gun>A soup spoon
>>44179210The soup spoon allows you to place it into any body of water and it will ladle up stewed ingredients related to that body of water>A stapler
>>44179066The popcorn kernel is indestructible and contains the world. Heating the kernel causes the climate to warm, cooling it begins a new ice-age, etc.> an old cigarette lighter from a car
>>44179238The owner of the stapler becomes omniscient. To mere mortals they seem to be completely insane, making it nearly impossible for anyone else to communicate with them or benefit from their new knowledge.> A polo shirt embroidered with an unrecognizable crest
>>44179240Plugging it into any energy source causes it to fabricate reasonable-tasting, if a bit musty, cigarettes at a slow pace - approximately 1 every day for a normal car battery.It can be sped up by increasing its energy supply or inserting cigarette ashes, but not any other type of ashes, or any other material.>A deck of playing cards, missing the Ace of Spades.
>>44172512> a set of candles that, when lit, and your Life Fibers are severed, extends your life for as long as they are lit.A ceiling
>>44179478>This ceiling will respond to the phrase "keep it down!" by descending.A destroyed shoe
>>44179478A ceiling with a removable tile that can hold any object, regardless of size, as long as it can fit into the opening. Basically a bag of holding built into the ceiling.
>>44179718>The shoe nudges whoever wears it towards treasure, it is extremely uncomfortable though.A mustache comb.
>>44180160>Any facial hair combed with this, grows to incredible size, and develope arms made of hair, which can be used for anything from the mundane to combat. An empty jug of chocolate milk
>>44180945>Empty Jug of Chocolate Milk>can be used to disrupt and derail any course of discussion no matter how silly or how seriousA Jar of Pickles
>>44181050A glass jar, filled with murky, sweet and sour brine, from which can be pulled an infinite number of delicious pickles.>An old, plaid-print thermos
>>44181753>The Thermos has an infinite supply of a stamina-restoring, high-energy fluid. It however tastes disgusting and if drunken in excess can have adverse side-effects.A Camera.
>>44177737The pages of the notebook remain blank, no matter what is used to write in them, but any personal memories recorded in it will be wiped from the writer's mind.>A heavy-duty metal flashlight with a severe dent in one side
>>44181808The camera allows you to trap anyone in the frame into a polaroid. Beware, do not take a selfie.>>44181906The flashlight will light up the interior of any cave/dungeon but will begin to flicker and die out whenever you approach a grue nest.>A pencil sharpener
>>44181808While holding this old-fashioned bellows camera, you have an uncanny knack for discovering people in compromising situations.>A human molar, yellow with age.
>>44181955When placed under a pillow before 3 AM, it repositions itself with a random amount of cash from a bank vault or register.>A rusty metal bucket
>>44181954Instead of turning the pencils it sharpens into graphite chips and wood shavings, this pencil sharpener creates tiny, delicate animal figurines from the refuse.>An acoustic guitar with a number of old band stickers pasted all over and a beaded strap
>>44182079Full of holes, it's useless for holding liquids. However, place it upon your head and it becomes a helmet fit for a champion.A flannel pair of pajama bottoms
>>44182109These flannel pajama bottoms will cause the wearer to sleepwalk every night without fail. Wearing the matching flannel pajama top will let the sleepwalker use their arms and hands as well.>A 25¢ capsule toy dispenser
>>44172494>implying blue leather is hip.
>>44182239>The Dispenser has a seemingly infinite stock of capsules, and completely random, seemingly magical pill is within every capsule. Providing such bonuses as instant healing, capsules of emotion, and ones who's effect causes the growth of limbs.A key-ring with or without keys.
>>44182404>When the key-ring has three or more keys on it transforms into a weapon of random effectiveness. After a single use the key weapon turns back into a key-ring except all the keys are now gone.A taxidermied alligator head
>>44182496>A taxidermied alligator headWhen worn, it allows the wearer to magically alter their facial appearance. SNAKE EATEEEEEEER
>>44182496>The alligator head may be worn as an impromptu helmet, providing slight defense. Upon being attacked, it leaps from the wearer's head and transforms into a live alligator, and will attack whomever attacked the wearer. If killed, it reverts back to it's original state.A thimble.
>>44182558>When the thimble is worn it prevents all sewing related accidents.An 8lb dumbbell
>>44182602While holding the dumbbell in one hand, any object held by the other hand weighs exactly eight pounds, regardless of the object's actual weight.>An old keyboard, missing all punctuation keys.
>>44182738When carried, the bearer finds he is undeterred by any barrier, guard or observer. He finds however that any task he undertakes using this ability will never provide the intended effect.> An ancient canvas biplane sans canvas.
>>44182808In defiance of all laws of physics, aerodynamics, and common sense, this plane can fly as if there's nothing wrong with it. However, it will only function if the user does not have anything on his or her person manufactured after 1903.>A braided lanyard bearing the words "BEST FRINEDS".
>>44183367When the wearer of this braided lanyard closes their eyes, they experience the sensations of having warm sun shining on their face and a gentle breeze tousling their hair. The scent of campfire smoke can be smelled, and the laughter of children can be heard.>A fine old china bowl with an intricate pattern of blue on white
>>44183559Depending on the liquid you pour in it, the bowl will show you a different kind of future (i.e. pouring in milk will show your future as a parent, pouring in hot water will show your next conflict).>A rubber tire
>>44183559>A fine old china bowl with an intricate pattern of blue on whiteAnything eaten out of this bowl has intense hallucinogenic effects>A bicycle
>>44183626Once stood upright and sent rolling, this tire will not stop until it causes an automobile accident.>An old Rader Range microwave oven
>>44183671This bicycle has the ability to fly at the same speed that its cyclist is pedaling, but having no aerodynamics to keep it aloft will plunge back to earth should they stop before landing properly.>A typical first prize blue ribbon
>>44183716No matter what is placed inside the microwave or what setting is selected, what emerges is a delicious, albeit greasy and thoroughly unhealthy "TV dinner".>A nondescript, opaque squeeze bottle.
>>44183800>A nondescript, opaque squeeze bottle.Inside is an nth dimensional substance that tears at your sanity the longer you look at it. It also smells faintly of citrus and makes a wonderful shampoo/conditioner. >A deck of 53 playing cards
>>44183855The 53rd card always trumps the one before it, no matter what.A jar of pickles.
>>44183786>A typical first prize blue ribbonThe wearer of this object is universally accepted as "the winner"; though they get no reward or prize for "winning". Those around them will simply offer congratulations, refer to the wearer as "champ", or in some cases will grumble that "winning" has "changed (the wearer)". Effects lingers for about an hour after the ribbon is removed.>A man who can run pretty fast
>>44183925>a jar of picklesthat is sealed shut and can only be opened by asking it politely, and even then, sometimes it's just feeling petulant and wont opena bedside lamp
>>44185403>a bedside lampthat, when lit, will prevent ghost and spirit from entering the room, compelling them to leave if already present. It will also grant anyone sleeping within the light radius a magically guarded sleep, preventing nightmares and detrimental magic/supernatural effects connected to sleep.A toothpick
>>44185447Not just a toothpick, but also a magical seeker of pressure points that, when thrown correctly, is capable of freezing up the joints of the toughest of monsters.A pair of dusty old sunglasses.
>>44172766>Always comes out headsA piece of belly button lint.
>>44185519>dusty sunglasses>The person who possesses these sunglasses are magically inclined to believe that they are a valuable antique, though they really aren't. A glass eyeball.
>>44185634Doesn't actually function as a replacement eye, but every time you take it out and give it a good shake, a breath mint falls out.A fork.
>>44185715It has seven tines. If you break one off, it can be used as a poison dart.A Greyhound ticket to New York from 2009
>>44185731>Summons 2009 greyhounds from New YorkA bicycle horn.
>>44185744Whoever holds it and says "honk honk" gets arrested and fined $350A wreath of garlic
>>44185765>repels vampiresA single 44. Bullet. Uranium capped.
>>44185830>slowly inflicts radiation poisoning on ownerA jar of clipped toenails.
>>44185765>Behold, ye undead of sanguine nature! I bring thee a relic of my hunter's guild, passed down from master to protege! Lay yon hungry eyes and despair, for ye will cry tears of REDEMPTION! I hold in my hands the Dread Garlic of Ophioscorodon, bane of vampires, beguiler of bloodsuckers! HAVE AT THEE!A half-bitten sugar-frosted donut
>>44185853>Owner moves as fast as the faster runner who's toenail is in the jar. Also, eww.Small bin for used batteries.
>>44185853>each individual clipping smells like the owner.A jar of mist.
>>44185878>The jar of mist is a sentient being who wants to see the world, but will die if it leaves its jar.A box of adult diapers
>>44185853>the prototype version of the ship Naglfar. It's also a portable version.Ten nine-inch carpentry nails.
>>44185918>putting each nail close to your ear, you can slightly hear some sort of music, metal in nature, yet you can't make out the words.An old wool blanket
>>44185918When smelted together, you summon Trent Reznor circa 1995
>>44185918>When held to your ear, each nail will play a terrible song before crumbling to dust.A retainer.
>>44185941>The retainer prevents you from speaking falsehoods.A push pin.
>>44185941When worn, it makes your voice smooth and accented. Like Sean Connery. Magically beguiles women.A leather chord bracelet.
>>44185918>If the nails are used for accupuncture in any pattern believed to relieve pain, they pull all sensation from the body of the patient, leaving him temporarily despondent, but permanently without pain. This forms a small fiery gem, which will be collected as payment by a horseman in black next morning. He will also take the nails with him if he knows they will be used better by their next owner.A set of sharp screw-in sport cleats.
>>44185936When pulled up over one's head, this Civil War era blanket will camouflage anyone hiding underneath it such that they will be effectively invisible to anyone pursuing them.>An extra-tall basketball jersey from an obscure, semi-pro team
>>44185999While wearing this leather cord bracelet, it will tug the wearer's arm in the direction of anyone they are actively thinking about, and will cause the wearer's wrist to itch and tingle when they begin getting close.>An antique snowglobe with a fairytale castle inside
>>44187233So long as one is inside, shaking the snowglobe causes a violent snowstorm to begin within the next hour.>A bracelet of hematite beads.
>>44187267Touching a bead for more than 4 seconds makes it start "recording". A single bead can record up to five hours worth of audio and video, which can be transfered to other beads or deleted. When the wearer touches one of the beads for more than four seconds, they receive a vision of the recorded events.A M1911 pistol.
>>44187349>A M1911 PistolInstead of shooting bullets, each trigger-pull causes the target's mental fortitude to weaken.A He-Man action figure.
>>44187377>A He-Man action figureWhen placed by a sleeping child, creates a zone into which no evil creature or magic may pass. Stops working as soon as the child wakes.A brown coca-cola bottle from the 1900s
>>44187403drinking it make your reproductive organs rot away and drop off.A banana.
>>44187495Eating it will make intensely attractive to all potential sexual partners. 4 litres of milk in bags.
>>44187594Drinking the milk turns you into a werecow.A bass.
>>44187629Does nothing passively, but if it falls to the floor a loud deep-pitched electronic music song starts emanating from it. Most agree that the music isn't particularly good but fairly impressive for a fish. >An internet router/modem
>>44187726Randomly disconnects for 20-30 minutes every other day. However, if you enter the Konami code using a NES controller attached via USB during one of these disconnects, the computer will instead display the truths and infinite knowledge of all creation.>A Canadian Flag
>>44187754Covering any liquid with the flag instantly turns it into maple syrup. >A television remote control
>>44179124Touching the skull will make people mistake you for someone else. Burning sacred plants will lift this curse.>Hematite eyepatch
>>44187629Nobody can agree whether it's a guitar or a fish. It functions as both.A wall poster
>>44187848Putting the poster on any flat wall will result in a 1 meter wide rough hewn tunnel straight to the other side. The hole, of course, only becomes noticeable when you take the poster down.>A forty pound bag of gravel
>>44187882Can be used to make concrete. Said concrete will be insanely tough, and will resist everything up to a direct hit from a GBU-57. A wrecking ball can however destroy it with ease.
>>44187956>a Toshiba Satellite l450d-12p
>>44187812This old, old, old remote control only has four buttons on it, and was meant for a model of television you've never heard of. When used on a modern television, this remote can tune the set to stations and broadcasts unavailable to anyone else.>A trunk full of vintage vinyl
>>44188322Each record holds a secret of history, but shatters after playing.A simple barrel break shotgun
>>44187965The only program installed upon this unassuming laptop PC looks almost like a no-frills industrial-use version of the popular Sims computer game. Different real-world locations and addresses can be looked up and downloaded from the programs DLC menu, thereafter granting the user Sims like control over everything and everyone found in those places.>An extensive collection of tiny commemorative spoons housed in a handsome wooden display
>>44187965To anyone but the owner, all pornographic images and videos opened on this laptop look and sound like high art and philosophical debates.>>44188599Fires magic shells>A singing wall-mounted bass
>>44188599When loaded with regular shot, this weapon is prone to jamming. When loaded with c-batteries, this weapon shoots lightning.>A half-dollar coin with a small hole drilled at the top and attached to a long length of fishing line
>>44188693When singing all individuals in the room will ignore events that transpire outside of the room, even if they see or hear them.>A desktop acrylic double sided picture frame.
>>44188693Every eleventh song this bass sings is about its owner or about people it's owner knows specifically, and always proves to be eerily prophetic.>A small, handheld chalkboard with a green wooden frame
>>44188864When two portrait pictures are placed in the frame back to back, those two people will become destined to meet. Their interactions at this meeting cannot be dictated or predicted by the frame.>An extravagant crystal decanter filled with a rich amber liquor
>>44188877Anything drawn on this chalkboard appears nearby as a pure white simulacrum of itself in 20 minutes. It takes exceptional skill to create functional complex objects or living beings within this time limit.>A dakimakura pillow cover
>>44189163The pillow cover will whisper dating and sex tips when you sleep, teaching you to become an alpha bard after an month.>An laboratory watch glass.
>>44189346Lighting any flammable substance places on the watch glass alight will produce a flame in the shape of a tiny featureless female figure that will dance hypnotically as long as the fire burns.>A fluffy parka with a big, fur-lined hood of the sort worn by arctic explorers
>>44189630It will keep you pleasantly warm everywhere you go. Even when outside is -80°C. Or 48°C.
>>44189021Drinking the liquid will allow you all the senses of the creatures you've spent previous lives as. But you also start having trouble remembering what your body is capable of. At times you think you can fly, at times you feel a hunger for rotting meat on the Savannah. The more you drink the better your senses become, but the worse the side effects get.Drink all of it and your mind will start to be affected.>A chipped and scratched blue rock.
>>44190003you can use the stone to teleport but when you use it it shrinks to the size of a kidney stone and you have to piss it out to use it again>a 0.5l bottle of pepsimax
>>44190083The Pepsi Max will enhance all your stats to the highest cap you can possibly have at your current level, but once it wears off they all drop lower than your current level and stay that way until a long period of time or until you can get your hands on another bottle.>a set of Christmas lights
>>44190237While this string of Christmas lights is the standard length and does have three burnt out bulbs, it is in fact completely indestructible. It can support any amount of weight hanging off it, and can resist and amount of strength pulling against it without the slightest stress or strain.>A bottle of expired, off-brand pepper sauce
>>44190346Before, this pepper sauce mixture would burn the mouths of anyone fool enough to try it. But that was ages ago, now it sits on a shelf collecting dust. However, age has reversed the effects to the point where it can freeze solid most creatures unlucky enough to try it out. When they thaw, it leaves a rather unpleasant taste in their mouth.>a print-out of Hideo Kojima's infamous "I'm alright" tweet
>>44190409Appropriately enough, the owner of this printed screencap will find that no matter what they do, the end result will be "alright." Not terrific, but not awful, either - just sort of mediocre.>A large, gnarled horseradish root.
>>44190613No matter how much or from what angle you grate this horseradish, it never seems to run out or get any smaller. Any dish made from the roof will taste overwhelmingly of horseradish however, no matter his many other ingredients are used in cooking it.>A small, square tin box sealed with great lengths of duct tapehttp://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?searchall=Modern+Day+Magical+ItemsJust threw the thread up on Sup/tg/ for archival purposes. Vote it up if you care to.
>>44190779The duct tape surrounding the small box is enchanted so that it never unravels. There will always be a piece of tape underneath the one you had just peeled off. However if you manage to unenchant the tape and open the box, a small note that says "Got you" can be found inside. It's best used during escort missions or to distract a chattery child while running an adventure.>an aglet (the little hard-piece at the end of most shoelaces)
>>44188759You might think that the coin is useless, especially since it has such a long fishing line attached to it. However, it gives you incredible luck while using it as lure, and some people say that you can use it to catch a leprechaun and steal his treasure.>A plank of wood.
>>44188650If you lay out the spoons with a set of equally tiny dishes and forks, a small family of pixies will dine there. After they thank you for your kindness, they will offer you a pouch of magic dust, what the dust does however, goes unexplained.
>>44190927This wood can potentially create ANYTHING, including money. But each creation cots 1/4 of the plank, when it runs out, it is gone forever.A man's leftmost toe from his right foot.
>>44190927This plank of wood has a crude face painted on one end. Children given the plank swear that they can hear it speak, and you're hard-pressed to disagree with them - they should have no way of knowing the things they say that the plank whispers to them.>A pencil-box containing an assortment of school supplies - pens, pencils, compasses, safety scissors, etc.
>>44188759>Barrelbreak gun>JamsPick one.
>>44191016Makes you fall up and jump down.>A mug
>>44190927The plank can span any gap at will, but its size is directly proportional to the gap, affecting width as well, the user can only revert the plank to its original size if the user picks it up>A small eagle toy that balances
>>44191055This toy gives you the power of George washington himself, you can summon eagles at any time, And have a pimp-ass car.A clinically depressed banana
>>44191052A mug of endless water>a gasket
>>44191037The pencil box guarantees you mild success in endeavors of the academic type, however, should you lend someone a tool from it, cheat on a test or allow someone to copy willingly or not it will crumble to dust.>A worn button found on the street.
>>44191081If you manage to cheer up the banana, it will forever make your sides split with the cheesiest of puns, also it can be used to make nearly any enemy slip and fall on it's ass, causing their attack to be lowered harshly.>A piece of glass.
>>44191083This gasket will grant you the power to fix ANY Vehicle, including 4 wheelers and bikes.
>>44191016This big toe is heavily spiced and pickled in a sealed and stoppered bottle of potent whiskey. The toe and alcohol together are a cure all for any disease or ailment, providing one is willing and able to choke both down at once.>An old metal cooler with faded blue paint
>>44191109This beggars button grants protection from a lethal accident one time after which the button detaches itself from the wearers clothing, the same accident is fated to happen again in one year >A small wooden statue of a goblin
>>44191131The glass will reflect any person's true feelings or true meaning of why they are here, Can also be used as a shank.A dinosaur's nether regions.
>>44191159The statue will allow the owner to summon an army of mini-goblins.A blue melon.
>>44191169Whenever you try to have sex meteors will shower from the heavens.>A beaten old teapot with a hole near the bottom
>>44191150If you want, you can set it to reach 0°K inside, heat up to room temperature instantly, and go back to 0 in but a moment. Perfect when you need some ice cream real fast.A Samsung Galaxy S6.
>>44191169A dinosaur begins to follow the afflicted of this blessing, the dinosaurs crotch is always centered directly above them but they gain the protection of this beast. No one questions the sudden dinosaur.>A old gasmask filter
>>44191229This teapot will always have scalding hot tea in it, being able to burn the holy fuck out of anyone besides the user.A half-eaten hotdog make of chips and KFC.
>>44191229The teapot will never be used to pour piping hot drinks ever again. Should you try to plug it, the pot will turn to hot molten metal and scar you forever. However, if you place it on water and are able to stick a foot in it and balance it will hold you up stronger than the mightiest of ships.
>>44191234You can talk anyone into giving you their number, but you'll always be in a dead zone when you try to call someone.>A train ticket
>>44191262Grants passage on any transport except trains.>A small bedside table.
>>44191288The bedside table will provide you with light and cozy reading material throughout your adventures, however, the light will bother any of your companions trying to sleep. Even if they're in a different room it will shine through the walls just for them.A palm tree frond.
>>44191246It changes size so that it can be used by all gasmasks in existance, and can block out all kinds of dangerous biological and chemical agents.A Timberwolf mech.
>>44191288You'll stub your toe every morning or evening at least once a day, but should somebody ever break into your house they'll trip and break their neck on it, effectively saving your life.>A golden thumbtack
>>44191353This mech can fly and shoot magic missiles that will decimate anything it hits.A sad, yet funny 25-year old comedian.
>>44191365This large thumbtack is made of some hard, golden metal and appears to have a Greek letter embossed on its head, though determining what letter it is may be tricky. This thumbtack possesses, without exaggeration, the sharpest point in the entire world, and may be easily pushed into any surface no matter what it's made of.>A beautiful Swiss Army knife
>>44191458The Swiss Army Knife possess any tool for the right job. However, it is also enchanted with lifeforce and if it feels like it's being used the wrong way all the tools will be dulled and useless.A handkerchief.
>>44191506The handkerchief may be a man's or a woman's, and bears the monogrammed initials of your soulmate on the corner.>A standard pink ceramic piggy bank with an indeterminate amount of change inside
>>44191618Anything you put in it will multiply over time. You'll never know how much is inside until you break it though.>A pair of old army boots
>>44191691Will absolutely repel all mud and filth, staying clean no matter the situation.A Warhammer 40k 4th edition rulebook.
>>44191691Wearing this old pair of army boots will make any hike or trek through the wilderness is made significantly easier, but the wearer will have to stop and remove the boots periodically to empty them of sand, spent casings and small scorpions.>A small black address book
>>44191788While holding this book, you gain the ability to measure distances shorter than 12" by eye extremely accurately.>A large, round tin that once held shortbread cookies (now empty).
>>44192068If you put inside a single fresh cookie of any type, it replicates similar cookies until full. Created cookies are warm to the touch and fresh, as if they were just out of the oven.>A shiny steel padlock and a matching key.
>>44192068While the tin may no longer contain any cookies, it does still hold all of the little paper wrappers those cookies were packaged in. Reaching a hand inside, one will discover that the tin is apparently bottomless and is filled with crinkly tissue cups all the way down.>A single square, painted tile from a much larger mosaic
>>44191380The comedian will prove an effect bard and keep your party's spirits up, however, there will always be a feeling of concern for his well-being.>a cue-ball
>>44192339When pressed against a wall, it will unfold and create a unique work of art. Should you pick a tile from it, it will have the same property, but will create a different mosaic. Take pics!A taser.
>>44192546If the taser is pointed at someone and discharged without directly affecting them, sometime within the week after the discharge, lightning will strike them. A videogame console controller.