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/tg/ - Traditional Games


File: OPSenzaikyuSpring.jpg (114 KB, 848x480)
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You are Captain Kusajishi Riku, and things are going to work a bit differently tonight.

Now that introductions are out of the way, welcome to Shinigami Savant Quest's 2015 Omake Collection! Tonight I will present to you a series of short stories similar to the one last thread, whose canonicity and/or relevance to the quest are too questionable to include in a regular thread but which may prove interesting enough as part of a thread dedicated to such things. These may be fairly short write-ups on my end, or they might be fairly involved, requiring multiple decisions and rolls. So take everything you read here with a grain of salt, and sit back, relax, and enjoy!

I'll give you ten minutes to vote for where you want to start tonight, and I'll keep running until I either collapse, run out of players, or run out of ideas. The options I'm prepared to do are:

>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
Riku tries to host an “Iron Chef” style event to amuse the Seireitei's gourmets and epicureans.
>Spring Break – Spring, 1999
A snapshot of the life of Starrk, Halibel, and company on a day when nothing important is happening.
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
What may have happened had you rolled a 5 in the first thread and turned Riku into a villain.
>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
SSQ meets canon, disaster ensues.

If a really popular write-in options comes up and gains traction, as always I'll consider writing it as well, but don't expect too much on that front as I'm pretty much winging it tonight.

Without further ado, let the voting begin!
>>
>>44400272

>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)

Tonight calls for shenanigans!
>>
>>44400272
>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
>>
>>44400272
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
>>
>>44400272
Would be nice if you state it's going to be an omake thread ahead of time King, Kinda got my hopes up.
>>
>>44400272
>>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
Start out with a bang

Riku petting two cats please
>>
>>44400313
>not being hype for the omake thread since the 12th
>>
>>44400313

It was on the twitter and prior threads this one would be one.
>>
>>44400337
It was not mentioned that it would be an omake thread on the twitter.
>>
>>44400272
>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)


I NEED THIS.
>>
>>44400272
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
>>
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>>44400282
>>44400284
>>44400330
>>44400358
Two Gins trolling Aizen, Yes please!
>>
>>44400272
>>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
>>
>>44400272
>>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
>>
>>44400272
>By Any Other Name (EXTREMELY non-canon)
must wreck mirror world canon!
>>
>>44400272
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
AKA, how Riku got the Couch before Aizen thought to get one.
>>
>This threads theme
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MK6TXMsvgQg
>>
>>44400456
what better theme to show the random fast paced shenanigans than bluegrass banjo tunes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=85mDyWCgHy0
>>
>>44400480
Obviously this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTSA_sWGM44
>>
>>44400272
You are Captain Kusajishi Riku, and something has gone terribly wrong. In a freak accident the Kōtotsu, normally responsible for keeping the Dangai free of obstructions and intruders, has attacked you midway between the living world and the Soul Society, ejecting you from the Dangai altogether and landing you... somewhere else.

Coughing, you glance around to try and orient yourself. You're in a city somewhere, in Japan at least going by the billboards. All around you are powerful spiritual presences, some familiar, some not.

“The Dangai...” you cough, clearing the dust from your crash-landing from your lungs, “never again. Next time I use the damn Garganta.”

The Kōtotsu is a tricky thing, you recall from your basic training so long ago. You've never actually seen it, but you've heard that it works by accelerating its victims in one direction or the other on the timeline, essentially killing them through the shock of transferring into a different time. Living humans for example may even age to death by being thrown too forward in time. Nobody knows exactly how the Kōtotsu works or where it came from, but every shinigami is taught how to deal with it if it comes for you: run like hell.

Unfortunately nobody taught you how to deal with it when the damn thing catches you, and the disorientation still has yet to pass.

>Investigate the unfamiliar reiatsu
>Try to focus on a familiar reiatsu
>Just find the strongest reiatsu
>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>Other?
>>
>>44400512
>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>>
>>44400512
>>Try to focus on a familiar reiatsu
>>
>>44400512
>>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>Try to focus on a familiar reiatsu
>>
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>>44400512
>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>>
>>44400512
>>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>>
>>44400512
>Try to focus on a familiar reiatsu
>>
>>44400512
>>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>>
>>44400512
>Just find the strongest reiatsu
>Investigate your surroundings, figure out where you are
>>
>>44400580
supporting
>>
>>44400512
>>Just find the strongest reiatsu
>>
>>44400512
Okay, gimme 3d10. Considering best of three, DC is only a modest 5.
>>
Rolled 2, 6, 5 = 13 (3d10)

>>44400709
>>
Rolled 1, 7, 4 = 12 (3d10)

>>44400709
>>
Rolled 5, 8, 5 = 18 (3d10)

>>44400709
>>
Rolled 3, 4, 5 = 12 (3d10)

>>44400709
>>
Rolled 7, 9, 2 = 18 (3d10)

>>44400709
>>
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>>44400721
>>
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>>44400721
>>
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>>44400709
You decide to focus as much on your visual senses as you can, feeling like the sheer number of powerful reiatsu sources near you may be difficult to deal with in your present state. Looking more carefully at your surroundings reveals an urban area, and one sign in particular advertises a business with a street address in Karakura. Yes, this seems like it's Karakura town. But when?

A poster for a local punk concert tells you that you've been thrown just a few months ahead in time. Nothing too drastic there, thankfully. At least none of your friends, loved ones, and allies will have changed too much: let alone have died. You suppose this could have turned out much worse.

Then you find something that's deeply unusual: a giant hoofed foot.

“Well, hello there Allon,” you greet the mute beast, which towers over you by dozens of meters. “The hell are you doing here?”

Allon, of course, says nothing.

You're not even sure it realizes you're here.

“You're in the living world, you know. Is Apacci here?”

Allon continues not to respond to you.

Stamping your foot and waving around your hands, you give in to shouting. “Hey, you smelly brute! I'm talking to you! Don't make me get the shoe again!”

“I... don't think he understands you,” Rosa muses thoughtfully in your mind.

“Oh he knows,” you grumble.

Allon, finally seeming to realize your presence, turns to face you and builds up a massive cero. You can cut him down safely, so long as you're sure to destroy as much of his body as possible. That just means his body will be dispersed back to the three arrancar he's made from.

>Try and find Apacci
>Kill Allon
>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>Other?
>>
So if this is a reality where Riku does not exist, doesn't that mean that Tamamo-no-Mae ripped herself apart?

I would guess full bankai and sword release would show like a huge beacon to Inari.
>>
>>44400827
>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>Somethings...Not right.
>>
>>44400827
>Try and find Apacci
quick! find our dear little deer!
>>
>>44400827
>>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>>
>>44400827
>>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>>
>>44400827
>Other?
Bakudō #75 Gochūtekkan or Bakudō #73 Tozanshō. Or stack 'em both.

See who comes over first.
>>
>>44400930
>>44400827
nice, I'll support that.
>>
>>44400721
Crrrriiitttical
>>
>>44400827
>>>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>>
>>44400827
>>Find the nearest person who can explain this shit to you
>>
>>44400827
>Kill Allon then find the tres
>>
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>>44400827
You've got no time to waste on something that can't even talk, so you search out the nearest familiar spiritual pressure.

“Ah, Rangiku!” you greet your daughter warmly. “Glad to see you... wait, why've you got a Tenth Div badge on?”

Rangiku stares at you like you've got two heads and a lizard tail. “Because I'm Tenth Division's Lieutenant. Who are you?”

“Since when are you Hitsugaya's Lieutenant? It hasn't been THAT long!” you shout. “What about the Ninth? Shouldn't you have stepped up as Captain?”

“I was never in the Ninth Division,” Rangiku counters with a frown, even more confused now. “And you still haven't said who you are yet.”

“I'm Riku! Ninth Division Captain!” you insist to a deepened frown. “Your mom! You're acting crazy, Rangiku!”

Your reunion is interrupted by Apacci, Sun-Sung, and Mila Rose, who have all entered their released forms. They look different somehow... minor details, just enough to be difficult to explain away.

“Who's this old hag?” Apacci growls, her tone of voice alien to you. “They keep comin' out of nowhere.”

“Wherever she came from she should go back,” Mila Rose rejoins with a cocksure glance at you. “She's in the way.”

“Agreed,” Sun-Sung adds from behind her sleeve. “Most unsightly.”

“Apacci, I'm busy right now,” you growl. “Shit's getting weird here, so whatever game it is you're playing, I'm not interested.”

“Game?!” Apacci snarls. “What part of this seems like a game to you, hag?!”

A bala from Apacci's fist collides ineffectively with your face, wrapping you in smoke but not even burning your skin.

“What a nuisance she was,” Apacci continues. “Barely worth noticin'.”

>Teach Apacci a lesson
>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
>Go find Halibel, this is going nowhere
>Other
>>
>>44401031
>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
>>
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>>44401031
>Teach Apacci a lesson
She called us old....
>>
>>44401031
>>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
>>Go find Halibel, this is going nowhere
>>
>>44401031
>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
and give her a spanking for calling us old
>>
>>44401031
>Teach Apacci a lesson
>To Apacci: Did you... just call me.... OLD!?
>>
>>44401078
Second
>>
>>44401031
>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
"Goddammit, if I'm in an alternate dimension I'm going to murder Aizen. Actually, I'm going to do that anyway. If he doesn't know me in this dimension there's no way he's a match for me."
>>
>>44401031
>>Teach Apacci a lesson
>>
>>44401078
>>44401063
i'll support it
>>
>>44401078
Third
>>
>>44401031
>Teach Apacci a lesson
>>
>>44401031
>Call out Apacci, you don't remember her being this weak... or stupid... or aggressive
Or slow... or disrespectful... or so easily riled up.
>>
>>44401031
>>44401078
Apache's gonna have a bad time
>>
>>44401031
3d10, DC 5.
>>
Rolled 5, 7, 1 = 13 (3d10)

>>44401238
>>
Rolled 3, 4, 2 = 9 (3d10)

>>44401238
>>
Rolled 5, 9, 8 = 22 (3d10)

>>44401238
>>
Rolled 2, 4, 9 = 15 (3d10)

>>44401238
>>
>>44401251
Dead apacci inc
>>
>>44401251

RIP canon Apacci, we hardly knew ye.
>>
>>44401251
don't call us old I guess... god damn
>>
>>44401251
BTFO
>>
>>44401238
Any chance we could hit her with a bala buckshot?
>>
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>>44401251
Ooh~
Apacci's gonna have a bad time. When we're done she's gonna be scarred for her unlife.
>>
>>44401251
Today's thread is brought you by the letter O. O for Oblivious, Old, and Overkill.
>>
>>44401251
And this is what happens when someone calls Riku old.
>>
>>44401264
Oh god, Riku is going to pound her under assumption she is a captain tier opponent
>>
>>44401238
>>44401251
“I don't remember you being that weak, Apacci,” you growl as the smoke clears, a visibly unsettled trio of arrancar staring down at you. “Or that stupid. Or that aggressive. Halibel and I taught you better than that.”

“What'd you say!?” Apacci demands. “How the hell do you know Lady Halibel?”

“Maybe I don't,” you mutter to yourself. “I knew a Halibel, same as I knew a Rangiku, and an Apacci. But it seems none of you remember knowing me. Guess that just means I have to remind you.”

“We are ready whenever you are, dear Riku,” Tenkotsuki reminds you. “Please call upon our power, I fear you may need it.”

“Prohibit, Tenkotsuki!” you greet your old friend as you draw her blade, releasing a mass of reiatsu as you draw out her partner as well. “Raze, Kobara no Tachi!”

Your twin releases pour out an immense amount of reiatsu, enough to stun the Tres where they stand midair. Apacci, or the woman who looks like the Apacci you know, stares in disbelief as your hirenkyaku puts you behind Allon.

“You, beast,” you growl, spectral tails whipping about you in agitation. “Get out of my sight.”

A series of powerful slashes separate Allon's arms and horns, incinerating the stumps as if lit from within by a powerful cero, and even the beast's counterattack goes wide as you sidestep. It tries to turn its head again to face you down, but all that does is give you a clean slash at its eyes. Finally you finish the monster with a single downward strike from tonbo no kamae, splitting the beast from the crown of its skull down through its crotch and incinerating large portions of the remaining halves.
>1/2
>>
>>44401282
more like put the deer through hell like what OMG does to impudent whelps.
>>
>>44401299
oh...oh shit. Didn't think we'd actually go for the kill.
>>
>>44401343
it's only Allon, he'll get better
Apacci's probably just going to get a spinning backhand that breaks all her bones
>>
>>44401299
“The three of you will sit the rest of this out,” you tell the arrancar as you return to them, many eyes falling on you in non-comprehension. “You too, Rangiku. Just stay out of this until I figure out what the hell's gone wrong with the whole damn world.”

“Kusajishi Riku, Captain of the Ninth Division,” you add, staring Apacci down with a glare that forces her to take a step back. “Good night.”

A punch to Apacci's gut doubles her over and sends a mist of spit and blood drifting over your shoulder before an axe kick sends her crashing through a seven-story building. A second strike to Sun-Sung produces similar results.

“Hainawa!” you declare, aiming the spell at Mila Rose before using it to sling her through a water tower.

The three arrancar having been defeated in short order, you spare your stunned daughter a glance before looking out over what is clearly a battlefield. Starrk is fighting Ukitake and Shunsui, though none of them are taking it seriously. Halibel is glaring angrily at you from where she's been dueling Hitsugaya, while Little Bee and Omaeda are dealing with a group of arrancar which surround an old man sitting in the middle of the sky on a throne of bones.

Last, you see that the Head Captain is watching a large cage of flames that seems to be containing Aizen, Gin, and Kaname.

>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>See if Little Bee can point you towards Yoruichi, she may be able to help you figure this out.
>Speak to Halibel, you don't like the look on her face.
>Go talk with Shunsui, Ukitake, and Starrk. They seem fairly calm.
>Other?
>>
So Riku is going pretty fucking hard right now, wonder whose attention we got.

Wonder what they'll think once Riku pulls out a full release
>>
>>44401299
4chan mighta eaten a post, brb.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
Yo, Grampa Yeezy, what's the hippy haps?
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.

Because I'm sure that this can't go wrong at all.
>>
>>44401355
>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
Tiem to become anti-kubo. And kick Aizen's shit in.
>>
>>44401355

>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.
>>
>>44401355
>>Report to Yamamoto, get the full story of what's going on here.

When in doubt the old man can provide some info, or fit things in.
>>
>>44401355
>Go talk with Shunsui, Ukitake, and Starrk. They seem fairly calm.
at least we can trust one of our buddys to be calm.
>>
I wonder what Riku will think of her nephew in this continuity.
>>
>>44401437
C-C-C-Combo Braker
>>
>>44401355
>Go talk with Shunsui, Ukitake, and Starrk. They seem fairly calm.
>>
>>44401355
>Go talk with Shunsui, Ukitake, and Starrk. They seem fairly calm.
>>
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>>44401355
“Head Captain!” you greet the confused old man as hirenkyaku carries you over to him at inconceivable speeds. “What's going on here, sir? Why are half the Captains and Lieutenants in the Gotei 13 in Karakura town?”

“You wear a haori like that of a Captain,” Yamamoto grumbles, “but I do not know your face.”

“You put in a request to Shutara for me and Captain Shihōin, because we kept destroying ours,” you explain, flaring your shunkō briefly to demonstrate. “That was back during the Great War. How can you not remember that?”

“You speak as one who knows me,” he observes. “You claim to be a Captain, and yet you cannot be.”

“Captain Kusajishi Riku, Ninth Division. I've held that position for more than a century.”

The Head Captain shakes his head doubtfully. “I feel sincerity in your voice, and yet your words are demonstrably false. Quite the dilemma, young lady.”

“No kidding.”

“Perhaps it is possible that we are both correct?” Yamamoto muses as Captains and arrancar, each familiar yet alien to you, exchange blows.

>Use Bankai, see if that draws anyone out or produces an unusual reaction.
>Ask Yamamoto to send someone to find Yoruichi. She understands this stuff.
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>Other?
>>
>>44401567
>>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
>>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
>>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.

I've met gods before, could they do something like this? Is Coyote fucking with me again?
>>
>>44401567
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>Speculate about a mishap in the Dangai when I was traveling and how getting caught in the Kōtotsu would end up like this.
>>
>>44401567
>>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.

I've met gods before and I did just have a minor Accident involving the Kōtotsu.
>>
>>44401567
>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>Other?
"Never seen this many Captains assembled, so why don't we just go straight to the point? Where's the threat that's gonna tip the balance between Seireitei and the mortal world which destroys both?"

Easier to get back on familiar ground with this line of questioning.
>>
>>44401567
>>Try to bounce ideas off the old man himself? He's fairly smart, and experienced.
>>
>>44401567
“Riku, he may have a point,” Tenkotsuki admits. “It seems consistent with what we have observed here so far.”

“All the same I want outside confirmation,” you reply to Yamamoto's bemusement. “Someone who hasn't been directly affected in the incident.”

“I was caught by the sweeper,” you explain. “There was an accident mid-transit where the hell butterfly assigned to me might have been incinerated... totally nobody's fault. I know the dumb thing can throw people backward or forward in time... but is there precedent that would suggest it can throw someone sideways?”

Yamamoto shuts his eyes, deep in thought. If you didn't know better you might think that he had fallen asleep. Finally, his eyes open again. “It is not impossible that such a thing could happen, though someone such as Kurotsuchi Mayuri or Urahara Kisuke would need to confirm it. However partway through this battle with Aizen Sōsuke and his subordinates, contacting either may prove difficult.”

“It is possible that the wound left in spacetime may still be lingering here,” Tenkotsuki warns you. “It may be crucial for you to keep that wound open.”

“You think we might get stuck here in this shitty timeline if it shuts?” Rosa asks.

Tenkotsuki seems unsure. “It is possible.”

>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>Ask Yamamoto where Mayuri is.
>Ask Yamamoto where Kisuke is.
>Other?
>>
>>44401699
>Ask Yamamoto where Mayuri is.
>Ask Yamamoto where Kisuke is
>>
>>44401699
>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
shit shit Shit SHIT
>>
>>44401699
>>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>>
>>44401699
>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>So what's different? The only thing consistent is Aizen being the whelp that he is.
>>
>>44401699
>>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>>
>>44401699
>Jeez so Aizen's acting up in this timeline to huh? Well let's go see if I can't fix that problem.
All this is noncanon to SSQ anyways.
>>
>>44401699
>stab Aizen in his stupid smug face
>>
>>44401699
>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
Ah Hell no.
>>
>>44401699

>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>Ask Yamamoto where Kisuke is.
>>
>>44401699

>Follow Tenkotsuki's suggestions.
>Ask Yamamoto where Kisuke is.
>>
>dice+3d10, DC 6
>taking first 4
>>
Rolled 10, 5, 2 = 17 (3d10)

>>44401808
time for reality to bend over
>>
I'm pretty sure the royal guard and the soul king have a way of getting riku home. It would probably involve the Oken or what ever that reality warper tool is called. The damn thing was probably used to make the Dangai in the first place.
>>
>>44401699
>Attack Aizen
Let ssee how riku holds up, this is noncanon anyway
>>
Rolled 9, 1, 1 = 11 (3d10)

>>44401808
>>
Rolled 10, 10, 8 = 28 (3d10)

>>44401808

lets do this.
>>
Rolled 6, 6, 10 = 22 (3d10)

>>44401808
>>
>>44401830
well then
>>
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>>44401830
>>44401833
dat overkill
>>
>>44401830
Fair enough.

Someone roll me 2d10. I will only be taking the first roll.
>>
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>>44401830
>>
Rolled 3, 4 = 7 (2d10)

>>44401830
>>44401833
Absolute Ccccrrrriiiitical.

And one was me.>>44401853
>>
Rolled 8, 2 = 10 (2d10)

>>44401853
>>
>>44401830
>>44401833
we really want to get the fuck out of here it seems
>>
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d10)

>>44401853
>>
>>44401862
Eh if they can open us a way home or the royal guard can I can see riku wanting to stay and kick aizen's ass.
>>
>>44401875
Same person here. I bet 10 bucks that the Okon or what ever it is called can easily open a way home with no issues considering the damn thing was probably used to make it.
>>
>>44401853
Riku and Canon really don't get along
>>
>>44401896
And by used to make it I mean the Dangai. Still they should be able to use Riku quantom signature to lock on to her home dimension.
>>
let's erase all aizen illusion before we skedadle
>>
>>44401908
Let's kick his ass by becoming an ascendent being and informing him we have been in a shadow war with our dimesional counterpart. The fact he didn't have a rival that could keep up with him and even surprise him in this time line will burn and irritate him like nothing else.
>>
>>44401927
I mean our version of him. You all know what I meant. Damn the english language for not having tenses for this situation.
>>
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>>44401808
“How do I do this, Tenkotsuki?” you ask.

Tenkotsuki thinks for a moment. “I believe our Bankai should be more than adequate for this task. However I fear nothing short of that would present sufficient brute force.”

“Good,” you nod. “It's always good when the solution's something simple.”

Your uniform is replaced by a many-layered kimono underneath your Captain's haori as you release your Bankai, and a mask forms over your face.

“Higeki no Ōjo.”

The smell of sea-spray in the air after a typhoon. The scent of pines reeking in the summer. The feeling of smooth stones beneath your bare feet. The sight of many retainers with eyes like darkened amethyst, bowing before you. Memories, emotions, and thoughts swirl in a disorienting dance before settling into something resembling order.

“What is this devilry?” Yamamoto growls as he draws his own blade menacingly. “What are you?”

“Don't worry,” you reply calmly. “What you see is not hollowfication, though it bears some striking similarities. I will now sort this situation out personally.”

Over where the flames of Yamamoto's sword were burning, you can now see Aizen and his fellow traitor-Captains all in white, standing at the center as the flames gutter out. On Aizen's face is a grin, which rapidly fades as he seems to realize it was not by his design that the flames faded. Across the battlefield, shinigami and hollow alike are stunned as their abilities are crushed under the silent weight of your presence in their midst.

“What's goin' on here, Lady Riku?” a familiar voice asks you. At your side stands Ichimaru Gin, dressed in the familiar Captains' garb. “And more important, why'm I over there?”
>1/2
>>
>>44402015
“It's complicated, my dear Gin,” you reply. “But this appears to be an alternate dimension. Good to have you at my side.”

“You've gone and used Bankai and Resurrección, haven't you?” he asks in disbelief as he looks over your changed appearance and many tails. “My, how impatient.”

You ignore his jab as you're joined by two more familiar faces.

“This is the source of that reiatsu,” Kisuke mutters to Yoruichi, whose outfit looks more like swimwear than a proper uniform. Not your Yoruichi, you realize.

“Who are you?” the other Yoruichi asks.

>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>I'm your wife from another universe, and I can prove it.
>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>Other?
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>>
>>44402032
>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe, and I can prove it.
>>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>>
>>44402032
>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>"Your wife"
>>
>>44402032
>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.
Here's hoping Soi Fong's close enough to hear this.
>>
>>44402032
>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe. But there are more important things to deal with here.


>The smell of sea-spray in the air after a typhoon. The scent of pines reeking in the summer. The feeling of smooth stones beneath your bare feet. The sight of many retainers with eyes like darkened amethyst, bowing before you. Memories, emotions, and thoughts swirl in a disorienting dance before settling into something resembling order.

Bet Inari picked up on that.
>>
>>44402032
>>I'm your wife from another universe, and I can prove it. But there are more important things to deal with here.
>>See if monkeying around with the hole in the universe brings you more backup.
>>
Bring out our wedding photo album
>>
>>44402092
>>44402032
I second this notion
>>
I hope canon appachi and friends wake up in time to see their Savant counter parts enter the scene. Remember they are all stronger then their canon selves.
>>
>>44402032
“This may be difficult for you to believe,” you begin, looking into the other-Yoruichi's eyes. “In another universe you and I are married, and we have been preparing for Aizen's rebellion ever since the hollowfication incident.”

“You're absolutely right,” other-Yoruichi nods sagely. “I do find that difficult to believe. So in this weddding, who got to be the bride?”

“You know better than to ask that,” you chide her with a smile. “A gentleman never asks...”

“And a lady never tells,” Yoruichi's voice responds, as other-Yoruichi's eyes widen a little in surprise. “Riku, I suppose you've got an explanation for why you've been hanging around a place like this with a woman dressed like that?”

“The sweeper threw me sideways in time,” you explain. “Releasing my Bankai means some of my closest companions were dragged along for the ride.”

“Well, seems plausible,” other-Yoruichi muses. “But can you prove you're me?”

Yoruichi drops her hakama, revealing the familiar tattoo on her thigh before tying them back up. You can already see other-Yoruichi's matching tattoo, as her outfit leaves little to the imagination.

“Okay, I'll admit,” other-Yoruichi laughs. “You really are me! So that means I'm a lesbian in another universe?”

“Just because I'm married to a woman doesn't mean I'm a lesbian,” Yoruichi scoffs.

Other-Yoruichi nods in agreement. “Fine, fine. I always wondered what'd happen if I'd ever meet a woman who was my type. Well, our type.”

“This is all lovely,” other-Gin interrupts, “but is he really me?”

“Depends,” your Gin responds with a devilish grin. “Are you really me?”

“There's only one way to find out for sure, isn't there Gin?”

“Absolutely right, Gin.”

Both Gins turn to face a deeply-confused Tōsen, yours with his blade in his left hand and the other with his in his right, side by side.

“Bankai: Kamishini no Yari.”
>1/2
>>
>>44401908
Punch him and tell him he's not living his life correctly?
>>
Two Gins and one of them was trained by Riku. Can the world survive?
>>
>>44402233
>“There's only one way to find out for sure, isn't there Gin?”
>“Absolutely right, Gin.”

My fucking sides
>>
>>44402259
Probably not
>>
>>44402285
But that's ok, since it's canon world and Kubo sent it down the shitter years ago anyways
>>
>>44402233
Looks like Aizen and Tosen is gonna have to deal with this particular nest of vipers named Gin now.
>>
Can't wait for Rangiku,the arrancar, and our commandos to show up.
>>
>>44402233
As Tōsen is speared by two different Gins, killing him nearly instantly, a Garganta rips itself open high above Karakura town. Through it tumble a giant hollow with one great eye in the center, a blonde arrancar you've never seen before that makes an unearthly screech, and the more familiar versions of the arrancar you know. The intruders crash loudly to the street in a pall of dust, and you can hear Apacci shout in frustration.

"Shut UP you brat! What the hell!?"

Halibel squares off with herself, pushing a stunned Hitsugaya out of the way with one hand. The young Captain is too confused to even offer resistance. Starrk and Starrk scratch their heads, uncertain of what to do. The old man and Little Bee have stopped fighting entirely, glancing back and forth among themselves and between their commanders, waiting for word on what they should do.

>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>Deal with the old man, free up your allies. Or their copies. Whatever.
>Just watch for now. This is too weird not to appreciate.
>Other?
>>
i wonder if our captain commander is going to show up?
>>
>>44402343
>Deal with the old man, free up your allies. Or their copies. Whatever.
>>
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>>44402343
>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
ready the lube boys
>>
>>44402343
>>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>>
>>44402343
>Just watch for now. This is too weird not to appreciate.
>>
>>44402343
>>Deal with the old man, free up your allies. Or their copies. Whatever.
>>
>>44402343
>>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>>
>>44402343
>>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>>
>>44402343
>>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>>
>>44402347
>Two OMG's in one world
YOU WANT TO DOOM US ALL!?!?!
>>
Everyone is probably wonder WTF is going on right now.
>>
>>44402347
ALL OF THE WHELPS. ALL OF THEM. WHELPS.
>>
>>44402343
>>Just watch for now. This is too weird not to appreciate.
eat popcorn
>>
>>44402343
>>Attack Aizen with Yoruichi and Yoruichi. So cathartic.
>>
>>44402343
So is there a reason Rangiku or the commandos haven't showed up yet?
>>
>>44402375
>>44402397
>Hey, kids, want to buy some genocide?
>>
>Two Ol' Man Yamas
How boned is Aizen, given that it's unlikely Extinguir can stop TWO Ryujin Jakkas?
>>
>>44402343
>Invite both yoruichi's back to you home to party
Its like twins!
>>
>>44402431
Extinguir is currently being held up by our appachi.
>>
>>44402431
If you're talking about canon Aizen, very boned. Unless SSQ Aizen pulls a kubo and pulls Canon Aizen's ass out of the fire.
>>
>>44402438
>>Invite both yoruichi's back to you home to party
>Its like twins
Riku must have had a dream or two like this already
>>
>>44402445
Canon Aizen is going to be pissed at riku and friends while being insanely jealious of SSQ aizen. He had a worthy opponent while canon didn't.
>>
>>44402461
Wasn't kisuki his opponent?
>>
>>44402459
KEK
>>
>>44402481
>You're telling me he has to fight a goddess incarnate while I have to settle for a candy store owner?
>>
>>44402481
Not really. Aizen was pretty much 10 steps ahead of Kisuki right until the very end when he surprised him with that seal. And that only worked because ichigo had weakened aizen enough before hand.
>>
>>44402481
>Wasn't kisuki his opponent?
Kisuke isn't his equal opponent. He is behind Aizen
>>
>>44402511
I will admit, if the fight had ended right there with the Senju Koten Taiho I would have been satisfied with that ending to the fight in a way I never was with the 'Final Getsuga Tensho' nonsense. A villain getting rekt because he let someone he's been underestimating get the drop on him is super satisfying.
>>
Meanwhile, Canon Quincy King looks at this situation.....
>>
>>44402520
Yup. Aizen is pretty much enjoying himself massively in SSQ in regards to riku and yoruichi apposing him. He views them as worthy opponents.
>>
>>44402534
>You know what, fuck it, I don't want to wake up.
>>
>>44402343
dice+3d10
Best of five due to a MASSIVE advantage based on simple confusion and numerical superiority.
>>
Rolled 9, 10, 1 = 20 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
Rolled 8, 8, 10 = 26 (3d10)

>>44402533
I loved the way it ended with a seal that was placed on him without him realizing by someone he underestimated. Ichigo didn't beat Aizen. Urahara did.
>>44402565
>>
>>44402539
>tfw our Aizen is fighting Riku, decides the plot rock makes it unfair and gets rid of it to have a real battle with his rival

I know it won't happen, but I would be both impressed and staggeringly aroused at such a thing happening.
>>
Rolled 10, 3, 5 = 18 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
Rolled 10, 6, 3 = 19 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
Rolled 6, 7, 4 = 17 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
>Just watch for now. This is too weird not to appreciate.
>>
Rolled 5, 5, 8 = 18 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
>>44402574
BTFO
>>
Rolled 3, 7, 10 = 20 (3d10)

>>44402565
>>
>>44402572
>>44402574
rekt in first two
>>
Rolled 9, 10, 6 = 25 (3d10)

>>44402574
I think I just crited.

>>44402565
>>
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>>44402572
>>44402574
Oh boy! Crit on an 8 and a pass on a 9!
>>
>>44402565
>>
>>44402574
GET
FUCKING
REKT
CANON AIZEN A SHIT
>>
>>44402565
dice+3d10
what is our dc?
>>
>>44402565
“Would you two lovely ladies like to lend me a hand here?” you ask jovially, pointing in the direction of Aizen. “I think I'm going to enjoy killing that bastard, and I'd love to share the fun.”

“Why, Riku!” your Yoruichi replies. “I do believe you've read my mind!”

“I've been waiting for this for a hundred years,” other-Yoruichi agrees. “Let's go for it.”

Rangiku, your OWN Rangiku, assaults Aizen with her Byakkokiri “clones”, covering the approach of you, your wife, and your wife's doppelganger. Though this Aizen is fast enough to deal with the clones, two Yoruichis proves impossible to handle.

No spells here, no tricks using reiatsu. Only a constant pummeling on three fronts is Aizen's reward for his treachery. A slash from your blade leaves him open for several fast strikes from your Yoruichi and a heavy kick from the other. Swiping, claw-like blows from Yoruichi lead into deep slashes from your blade that burn deep into Aizen's flesh. Twice he tries to protect himself with kidō, and once he chooses not to dodge a punch to the back of his head as if he expects it to be stopped by something. But bloodied and beaten, Aizen eventually loses his grip on his sword.

You have to admit, even you lost track of how many minutes the beating lasted up to that point. But it was not a short brawl.

“What nonsense...” Aizen mutters angrily. “To be defeated by two Yoruichis and a stranger? Who could possibly have devised a plan I could not have forseen? Was it that bastard Kisuke?”

“Random chance devised your end, pretender,” Mirai informs him, having joined you. She hefts her seki-stone studded warclub high over her head. “Now die.”

The splatter of gray matter and bone accompanying the wet thud of the blow is almost enough to ruin the moment of satisfaction.

Almost.
>1/2
>>
>>44402595
We probably just stole his heart.

Literally
>>
>>44402613
>literally took a several minute beating from three of the most powerful Captains alive

Fuck, man, dude must have drank his milk for his bones to not all be jelly.
>>
>>44402613
>The splatter of gray matter and bone accompanying the wet thud of the blow is almost enough to ruin the moment of satisfaction.

Goddamn Mirai
>>
>>44402613
I'm gonna have to call bullshit. Even our full power shouldn't be enough to shut down the Hougyoku, and if anything having the stuffing beaten out of him for twenty minutes should have forced it into activating.
>>
did he not have the hogyoku implanted at this moment?
>>
>>44402649
He didn't have plot rock activated dumbass.
>>
>>44402649
It probably will activate in a minute.
>>
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>>44402652
>>44402649
>>44402658
>inb4
>>
>>44402658
He already implanted it into his chest by this point, and all he needs for it to accept it is for him to be pushed past his own considerable limits.
>>
>>44402669
Which he just was. Course Mirai's club probably countered it activating.
>>
>>44402649
>>44402652
>>44402658
>>44402661

Wouldn't our Bankai stop it?
>>
>>44402669
well his brain got pushed past the considerable limits of his skull by this points soooo...
>>
>>44402613
“He was clearly unprepared for that,” you eventually explain to Yamamoto after sealing your blades once more and leaving Aizen's corpse to Kisuke, who insisted on disposing of it. “Our Aizen had a hundred years of being challenged by Captains who remained in the Seireitei after hollowfication.”

“I see,” Yamamoto nods as you find yourself flanked by your own friends, standing across from many of their counterparts in this twisted mirror universe. “You intend to return?”

“If I go back through the hole I made in the universe,” you sigh, “my sword believes I'll re-set things. Once that wound closes, it'll be like I was never here... for all of us involved.”

“It was strange seein' all the ways things could've been,” other-Gin grins. “But one thing's botherin' me.”

“What the difference between our worlds was,” other-Bee completes his thought. “I had my useless Lieutenant search the Seireitei's digital archives for a Kusajishi Riku. There were no results.”

“None at all?” your Rangiku asks in disbelief. “How can that be?”

“Simple,” you reply. “I died. Instead of crossing over and meeting Tenkotsuki, this Riku must have been lost.”

With much to think about, you guide your interdimensional visitors back to the spot where you emerged.
>2/3
>>
>>44402677
That seems way too OP, even for us. Like maybe it would nerf his power boost a bit, but neutralizing it completely seems a tall order even for a god.
>>
>>44402679
He was just brained by a seki stone club. Remember how Tenkotsuki died?
>>
>>44402613
“I feel like I just saw you,” Rangiku muses. “When did you get back?”

“Just a few minutes ago,” you scratch your head in confusion. “Funny, I feel kind of the same way.”

“Whatever,” your daughter sighs. “Sure it's nothing important. Glad you're back, the paperwork backed up while you were gone.”

“Damn it all...”

>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
Riku tries to host an “Iron Chef” style event to amuse the Seireitei's gourmets and epicureans.
>Spring Break – Spring, 1999
A snapshot of the life of Starrk, Halibel, and company on a day when nothing important is happening.
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
What may have happened had you rolled a 5 in the first thread and turned Riku into a villain.
>>
>>44402700
Foxes can't eat chocolate, it will kill them.
>>
>>44402700
I guess I'd have been satisfied with an additional line of the Hougyoku glowing, but Mirai killing him at the last second before he could begin Round 2.
>>
>>44402691
>That seems way too OP, even for us. Like maybe it would nerf his power boost a bit, but neutralizing it completely seems a tall order even for a god.
His brain get rekt by seki stone
>>
>>44402717
>>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
>>
>>44402717
>“Damn it all...
HA
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
>>
>>44402717
>Spring Break – Spring, 1999
>>
>>44402717
>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
I want them food recipes. And food porn!
>>
>Spring Break – Spring, 1999
>>
>>44402717
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
>>
>>44402717
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
>>
>>44402717
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
>>
>>44402717
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
Can we get Riku as idol? Maybe a concert
>>
>>44402717
>Mirror, Mirror – Summer, 2001 (non-canon)
I guess I do miss Riku's street pilfering roots. So I wonder how it would go in this case.
>>
>>44402717
>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
This is the one that I want the most
>>
>>44402728
Well yeah, but before then he seemed like he really was beaten, instead of just regaining his confidence because he was about to become as a god, only to be rudely interrupted by the one thing even he can't ignore.
>>
>>44402717
>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
>>
>>44402691
Not gonna lie, partly I just wanted to move on at this point. We could easily spend three more hours on Aizen if I let him regenerate like he did in canon, and I don't want to show any of the tricks I've come up with for him in an omake.

The real fight will be harder, and will play out more strategically.
>>
>>44402717
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
Bring out the food.
>>
>>44402778
I can appreciate that, but I guess I kind of wanted something like >>44402722 just an indication that it would have been a close call had the fight continued.

Though I guess the more the players underestimate Aizen, the easier it will be for you, huh?
>>
>>44402778
So you're saying anons are going to fuck it all up at the end and die horribly? Neat.
>>
>>44402717
>>Iron Chef Seireitei – Summer, 2000
>>
>>44402778
Well, at the very least we got a taste of how a co-op fight with Riku and her allies would go. I imagine there'd be a lot more combinations they're gonna throw into the mix.
>>
>>44402802
>>>44402778
>I can appreciate that, but I guess I kind of wanted something like >>44402722 just an indication that it would have been a close call had the fight continued.
>Though I guess the more the players underestimate Aizen, the easier it will be for you, huh?
This one
>>
>>44402818
No kido combinations in that one due to Bankai being active from the start.
>>
>>44402717
You are Kusajshi Riku, and you need to earn yourself a break from having the Old Man breathing down your neck about deadlines and responsibility. As it so happens you have one good idea as for how to accomplish that.

“I'm gonna do an episode of Iron Chef live,” you announce to nobody in particular, with only Yoruichi and Rangiku around the office to hear. The former is reading a magazine on your couch, and the latter is sitting at her own desk with her head resting lightly on her arms. She stirs at the sound of your voice, pretending that she hadn't been dozing off in the summer heat.

Yoruichi doesn't even glance up from her magazine. “I call Chinese.”

“That's one down,” you nod, ticking off a box on a small notepad. “Now I just need the rest of the setup.”

“You have the food and the kitchen?” your daughter asks thoughtfully. “I'd bet that's an important detail.”

>Go to the Fourth Division and arrange logistics
>Clear this with the Head Captain
>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
>Other?
>>
>>44402859
>>Clear this with the Head Captain
>>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
>>
>>44402859
>>Go to the Fourth Division and arrange logistics
>>Clear this with the Head Captain
>>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
>>
>>44402859
>>Go to the Fourth Division and arrange logistics
>>
>>44402859
>Clear this with the Head Captain
>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
>>
>>44402859
>Clear this with the Head Captain
Time to... shall I say it? Turn up the heat?

>>44402849
Rangiku got a chance to lead off the attack. Good enough for me at this point.
>>
>>44402803
Not in so many words, but failure IS always an option.

Chalk it up to this Aizen being too busy trying to figure out what the fuck was going on before being brained by a weapon that ignores reiatsu entirely, at which point he had no "will" because he had no higher thought processes.
>>
>>44402859
>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
Get Old man Yama to participate, he's bound to have picked up cooking in his long life
>>
>>44402859
>>Clear this with the Head Captain
>>Go to the Fourth Division and arrange logistics
>>Get your other two Iron Chefs and a likely Challenger
in order
>>
>>44402979
Uhhhhhhhh
>>
>>44402979
Nice double post there, King
>>
>>44402979
>Go to the Fourth Division and arrange logistics
>>
>>44402979
Bizarre.

One minute.
>>
>>44403026
First order of business: clear this event with the Head Captain. While you're fairly sure he won't especially mind, it never hurts to make absolutely certain you have his backing for a large-scale public event like this.

“Head Captain,” you announce your presence and bow as you enter his office. He greets you calmly from behind his desk, and motions for you to sit. “I'm planning a cooking competition, based on a television show in the living world called Iron Chef. I'd like your permission to host it as a public event.”

“Interesting,” he nods calmly after you explain the premise further. “Who are these “Iron Chefs” to be, or do you know so far?”

“All I have is Lady Yoruichi as Chinese,” you reply, knowing the probable response.

Yamamoto nods curtly. “Very well, you have my permission under one condition.”

“You get to judge.”

The Head Captain nods again. “You guessed it, young lady.”

“Thank you, sir. And can I take it that you'll put in a good word for me with Captain Unohana?”

“Most certainly.”

Next on your list is Fourth Division, where Captain Unohana initially seems hesitant to grant your rather extravagant requests for support and materiel.

“And what benefit would this have, exactly?” she asks skeptically.

>Check with the Head Captain.
>The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.
>... Lady Yoruichi will be Iron Chef Chinese.
>Other?
>>
>>44403031
>The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.
>you also get to be the judge of the event.
>>
>>44403031
>The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.
>>... Lady Yoruichi will be Iron Chef Chinese.
>>
>>44403031
>>The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.
>You also get to judge if you want
>>
>>44403031
>>The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.
>>... Lady Yoruichi will be Iron Chef Chinese.
>>
>>44403031
>seems like the vote's pretty much been decided
“The recipes will go in the weekly magazine my Division produces. Call it cultural enrichment.”

“Given how few shinigami can cook,” Unohana replies skeptically, “I must admit I am unsure how useful recipes will be to them.”

“You can also be a judge,” you offer.

“That wouldn't...”

You interrupt. “Lady Yoruichi will be Iron Chef Chinese.”

“... how many eggs did you say you needed?”

Now, all that's left are two Iron Chefs and the required Challenger.

Vote for a Challenger!
>Aizen
>Hitsugaya
>Shunsui

Vote for two Iron Chefs, the highest two will be taken!
>Kenpachi
>Mirai
>Kai
>Rangiku
>Gin
>>
It's 4 am on the eastern board. We're losing some players.
>>
>>44403107
>Aizen
>>
>>44403107
>Shunsui as challenger
I don't trust Aizen with his sense manipulation.
>Kenpachi as Iron Chef Japanese
>Gin as Iron Chef French
>>
>>44403107
>Shunsui

>Kenpachi
>Gin
>>
>>44403107
>>Aizen
>Mirai
>Gin
>>
>>44403125
>>44403107
This has my vote. With out the whole nationality stuff.
>>
>>44403109
Yup. I should be wrapping up fairly quick here, as this segment is unlikely to be very interactive.

The remaining two Omakes may show up at the end of a thread here and there in the future, since the first one took so much longer than I thought.
>>
>>44403107
>>Shunsui

>>Gin
>>Kenpachi
>>
>>44403107
challenger:
>Shunsui
iron chef:
>Kenpachi
>Kai
>>
...you people do know there's no way kenpachi can cook right?
>>
>>44403107
>Shunsui

>Kenpachi
>Orihime
food poisoning for everyone.
>>
>>44403107
>>Aizen

>Kenpachi
>Gin
>>
>>44403107
>>Shunsui
>Rangiku
>Kenpachi

Seireitei's alcohol supply will be reduced to zero after this.
>>
>>44403160
BBQ man we where at his BBQ
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>>44403160
why do you think we're voting for him?
>>
>>44403160
have you read the threads? He's a mean cook when he's behind a BBQ Grill.
>>
>>44403160
We believe in Kenpachi
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>>44403119
+
>Rangiku
>Gin
>>
>>44403107
Calling it and writing.
>>
>>44403107
The day finally comes, when you can step out in front of the assembled crowds that have turned out to see the show in a re-fit auditorium filled with kitchen equipment and store cupboards of every variety. Behind the podium you stand confidently, welcoming the challenger.

“Here today is the Captain of the Eighth Division, Kyōraku Shunsui,” you announce, waving Shunsui in to stand before you with an amused look on his face. “Excellent when it comes to good sake, good food, and the hearts of women. Many years ago I wanted to see how well this respected Captain could handle himself in the kitchen, and was quite surprised to learn that he has some talent for it. Now I've brought him here to show his mettle in my Kitchen Stadium.”
>1/?
>>
>>44403292
You make a sweeping gesture behind you, and the lights darken all except for three spotlights as you call upon your Iron Chefs in a cloud of fog: Iron Chef Japanese Zaraki Kenpachi rises from the floor in blue, with a leek in hand and a Japanese-style chef's hat impaled on one of his hair spines. Next to him rises Iron Chef Chinese Shihōin Yoruichi in yellow, a Chinese-style cleaver upraised in her hand and a stern look on her face. She's taking the whole thing deadly serious. Finally rises Iron Chef French Ichimaru Gin, who wears red and grasps a light lacquer tray of pickled ume. He can't help but grin even more broadly than usual at the absurdity of the setup.

“So, Shunsui,” you announce, “which will it be?”

“Well, I know Kenpachi cooks a mean barbecue,” Shunsui muses into the microphone, still all smiles, “and I've never met a noblewoman who cooked for herself. So I guess Lady Shihōin.”

“And it's Iron Chef Chinese Shihōin Yoruichi!” you declare, excitement obvious in your voice. “The Goddess of Flash and master of the Sichuan, Cantonese, and Shandong styles, whose refined tastes are legend among the epicureans of the Seireitei's nobility!”

Shunsui's smile fades somewhat. “Wait, what?”
>2/?
>>
>>44403305
After the applause has gone on long enough, you motion to silence the crowd of now quite-engrossed shinigami. “Now, what ingredient could I have chosen for such a notable challenger? I recall a spring day, many years ago, when I was called upon by the Captain of the Eighth Division for a cherry-viewing party, and it was then I remembered! The floral poetry and honeyed words meant for the season flowed from his tongue that day, and the heat of the summer gave me my inspiration. Something refreshing, something seasonal, something... unique.”

“And so I give you... the Theme Ingredient!” you cry, pulling a cloth off of a low-slung box in front of you. More fog pours out of the hole as a dark, nebulous shape rises from the center of the stadium. Finally, the identity of the objects becomes clear: two dwarf lemon trees.

You give the audience a wicked grin as Shunsui frowns in confusion. “Today's theme: lemons.”

>Join the announcers/observers
>Just wait for the tasting
>>
>>44403311
>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403311
>Just wait for the tasting
like the chairwoman we are
>>44403305
>Iron Chef Japanese Zaraki Kenpachi rises from the floor in blue, with a leek in hand and a Japanese-style chef's hat impaled on one of his hair spines
my sides.
>>
>>44403311
>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403311
>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403311
>tfw you are picturing Riku making all the absurd faces and gestures from the actual show

Dear god, it's beautiful
>>
>>44403311
>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403340
I hear her imitating the Chairman's voice too, my sides can't take it
>>
>>44403311
>>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403311
>>Join the announcers/observers
>>
>>44403311
You decide to spend the next hour in the observation booth with your Commandos, who are supposed to announce and discuss, watching the cooking down below unfold. While Yoruichi seems to be in complete control of the kitchen and works at a steady, fast pace, Shunsui seems to have trouble timing some steps of his dishes. It doesn't seem like he's on track to finish the four he started off intending to make, and his fish dish ends up burning in the pan. However he rescues it at the end by making a simple dessert out of lemon juice and sugar, essentially cadying the lemons and serving them together with ginger and peaches.

Yoruichi sets up a few dishes to work while she strips leaves from the lemon tree and begins to dry them using kidō, and everything on her end seems to come together brilliantly. By the end you can tell just by looking at what each Captain has done that there's been a different level of thought and technical mastery involved.

Finally, it comes time for you to showcase the dishes you've seen prepared today. Projected onto an overhead for the benefit of the drooling audience, you begin with Shunsui's offerings.

“The Challenger has presented a total of three dishes. First is a pasta made with lemon and shochu sauce and capers. The tartness of the lemons and the round, full flavor of the shochu will prepare and refresh the palate, setting the pace for later offerings. Second is lemon-flavored chicken, a take on a common dish around the world. The delicate flavors and aromas of fresh lemons are well-suited to the mild flavor of chicken. Last is a candied lemon dessert, the sourness of lemons having been disguised in a sweet treat to conclude the meal.”
>1/?
>>
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>>44403428
“Iron Chef Shihōin has responded with three dishes of her own. The first offering is a set of three lemon-flavored appetizers: fresh cheese set and flavored with lemon juice and grilled with strawberry compote, tuna ceviche with lemon and tomato, and Inari sushi, lemon-scented. Each individual dish not only showcases masterful balance of lemon tartness with other flavors, but illustrates the value of lemon juice as a part of the cooking process itself. Second is lemon-smoked duck, Sichuan style. Tea leaves in this traditional Sichuan preparation are replaced with dried lemon tree wood and leaves, imparting a powerful aroma of lemons to the meat itself and continuing the usage of lemon as both ingredient and technique. The dish is served with a preparation of sauteed lemon slices with garlic, ginger, and Sichuan peppers, combining distinctive flavors in a powerful statement on the versatility of Sichuan cooking. Last is lemon and coconut dessert, made by infusing segments of lemons with the smooth and sweet flavors of coconut milk to create a refreshing and playful offering.”

“And now, tasting and judgment. On the panel today are Head Captain Yamamoto Genryūsai Shigekuni, Fourth Division Captain Unohana Retsu, Research Department Head Kurotsuchi Mayuri, and Sixth Division Captain Kuchiki Byakuya.”

Yamamoto and Unohana seem quite happy to be here, while Kurotsuchi and Byakuya seem like they'd rather be doing something else.
>2/3
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>>44403428
are you having to research this stuff or do you know it off the top of your head?
>>
>>44403438
"I was really pressed for time today!" Shunsui admits rather humbly as the tasters are served his first dish, the pasta. "I found myself running out of time for some things, finishing early for others, and just mis-timing some stuff in general. But I think everything came out pretty darn good!"

"You brought a lot of sake to drink with it," Byakuya observes. "Is this an accompaniment or an apology in advance?"

"Well, both!" Shunsui grins.

>Let the tasters do their thing?
>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>Strike up a conversation?
>Other?
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>>44403461
>>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>>
>>44403461
>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>>
>>44403461
>>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>>
>>44403443
All of these are things I've made except the duck. I've never actually tried the basic tea-smoking preparation so I wouldn't know how to modify it aside from in theory.

The cheese is the hardest by the way. So simple, so easy to get wrong.
>>
>>44403461
>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
lil byakuya and kurotsuchi are really out of their element, until they taste the dishes.
>>
>>44403461
>Let the tasters do their thing?
>>
>>44403461
>>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>>
>>44403461
>>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
>>
>>44403461
>>Offer prompts as to how the marking works?
Do it fabolously
>>
>>44403461
>Let the tasters do their thing?

I also do wonder what Kenpachi and Gin would've cooked up using the theme ingredient. The commentary would probably be hilarious too.

>"The hell am I gonna use a damn fruit for? I need meat in there! MEAT!"
>"Ah, I recognize these particular batch of lemons. Looks like someone's gonna have to forego this ingredient for teatime."

And surprisingly no ice cream machine abuse! Which is a relief for those in the panel, I suppose.
>inb4 Yachiru gets involved anyway
>>
>>44403461
“Just a reminder,” you begin, “Score of zero to ten for taste, and zero to five each for presentation and originality, for a total of twenty. The dishes aren't scored separately.”

“Tuck in.”

As you wolf down your own portions, you hear the discussion for each of Shunsui's dishes.

“Is this alcoholic?” Unohana asks, to which Shunsui replies that no, the shochu in the sauce will have burned off. Unohana seems slightly disappointed. “Oh. Well, it's very nice.”

“Almost European after a fashion,” Yamamoto comments of the same dish, “but with a strong Japanese liquor instead. Quite tasteful.”

Unohana seems to enjoy the chicken more than the pasta. “This is quite a simple dish, but very well made. I can see it being something I'd make for myself.”

“Yes,” Byakuya agrees, “this is a fairly classic preparation, reasonably well-executed.”

“You are to be congratulated, it is often the simple things that are easiest to get wrong,” the Head Captain nods in approval.

It all goes wrong when it comes time for dessert, as Byakuya is the first to observe. “It's too sweet.”

“Captain Kuchiki has a point, you have changed the nature of lemon entirely, disguising it too much behind saccharine sweetness,” Yamamoto agrees thoughtfully.

Even Kurotsuchi has a valid criticism for this one. “I like sweets, but as a lemon dish? I'm afraid its transformation leaves a bad taste in my mouth, so to speak.”

After a brief pause for the judges to mark down their initial scores for Shunsui's dishes, Yoruichi enters the room with her offerings. She's even made you double portions.
>1/?
>>
>>44403574
“Lemons are foreign to Chinese cuisine,” she explains thoughtfully, “so I tried hard to use them in creative ways. I knew that you can do a lot of chemical cooking with them, due to the acidity, so I decided to adapt those aspects of the fruit to Chinese cooking as well.”

“All three of these dishes are so good,” Unohana praises the appetizer plate as you munch, “and they each show such mastery of technique and flavor in their own way. You've really gone outside your comfort zone too, I'm very impressed!”

“To be expected, these are all quite excellent.” Byakuya replies simply, once his own plate is empty.

The Head Captain seems to agree. “Your command of flavor and texture is superb.”

Kurotsuchi has a big, evil-looking grin on his face. “It's almost like you used the lemons scientifically for the process of cooking and artistically for its flavors! Very well done indeed. In fact, I'm quite eager to return to my own research with that sort of perspective!”

“Ah, this is the Sichuan flavor I expected!” Unohana sighs contentedly at the duck dish. “It works so well with lemons, I have to wonder why anyone bothered with tea-smoking?”

“It's deeply traditional, and yet accommodates this unusual ingredient as if it were natural,” the Head Captain muses.

“I know you're big on traditions,” you speak up, “so when I saw this I figured you'd like it.”

Yamamoto nods appreciatively. “I expected you to rely on Cantonese techniques for a citrus ingredient. I am glad you did not, Executive Commander.”

Finally the tasters get to the dessert, with Unohana making the first comment. “It's very well-balanced. Based on a Thai dish, am I wrong?”

“Simple, yet flawlessly done,” Kurotsuchi nods, giving his words an air of finality.
>2/?
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>>44403581
queen? you still alive?
>>
Poor Shunsui with that dessert. A sorbet probably would have worked out for him in a pinch.
>>
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>>44403581
"Our Challenger on the one side," you announce to the audience, having returned to the stage, "is a widely-respected Captain, and a devotee of leisure activities. He's a man with his own sense of style, and a perpetually relaxed attitude. On the other is our Iron Chef, a noblewoman with a fiery passion for many things, including good food, having spent long decades perfecting the art of its preparation. Two clashing attitudes towards the notion of high cooking. But regardless of the validity of their respective attitudes, in this Kitchen Stadium only one may reign supreme."

After a dramatic pause filled with sad piano music, with the audience hanging on your word, you announce the victor.

"IRON CHEF!"

To uproarious applause Shunsui and Yoruichi shake hands, though neither seems surprised at the results: Unohana – 16/20 Iron Chef, Yamamoto – 15/20 Iron Chef, Kuchiki – 15/20 Iron Chef, and Kurotsuchi – 14/19 Iron Chef. A sweep of the judges and a near-perfect score secures Yoruichi the win.

As the lights dim on the stage, Yoruichi finds you.

"There are easier ways to get me to cook for you," she grins.

You continue to play the part for anyone who may still be looking, smiling out onto the crowd as they file out of the building. "Yeah, but it's more exciting this way, right? Dinner and a show?"

That gets a laugh out of your wife. "Sure as hell was! But still, next date night's my turn to pick."
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>>44403648
Holy shit, nice art Queen? Did ya get that commissioned or did you somehow find it online?
>>
>>44403648
And that's all for tonight, thanks for playing this year and hope the next one sees you all well! I may not run a thread next weekend due to other commitments, but as always keep an eye on Twitter for news to the contrary.

Archive is up, and see you next time!
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>>44403667
thank you queen!
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>>44403666
Pixiv, dear anon. If you know how to make it work in Japanese it can bring you amazing things.
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>>44403667
See ya next time. Back to the keikaku we go!
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>>44403667
Thx Queen
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Also, fair warning for anyone who tries it: making cheese with milk and lemon juice is harder than it sounds. The amount of juice you need depends on the acidity of the lemons, where using vinegar is easier to judge because the acidity is often listed on the bottle.

You can also do it with milk and buttermilk, but that tends to be too soft for my tastes.
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>>44403797
Queen, why am I getting the feeling you cook as a hobby and wanted to use this omake to show your chops regarding research and presentation?
>>
>browse catalogue
>Shinigami savant
>open thread
>phon battery dead
Such is life in the Zone
>>
Sad that Aizen wasn't challenger, stilloved everything.
Happy Christmases and New Years for everyone, thanks for running.



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