Wait. What's going on. Were you sentient a second ago? You try to look around, but it's hard to make out what's going on with these eyes taking up room in your sockets. Your bones feel constricted, and you realize that you're entombed in a layer of twisting skin and muscle."What's wrong? The ritual...it should have..." Someone is speaking, far away."Looking for this, Gyrnax?" A voice grates through your jaw, not your own. You see the flesh suit around your right hand hold up a crystal of some kind."You fool! Do you have any idea what you've done?!"It's becoming a little easier to make out what's happening around you. You're standing in a well-hewn cave of some sort. Nearby, a large skeleton is laid out, purposefully posed in a circle of runes. At five equidistant points around the skeleton, candles have been lit and small altars raised. Four of the altars have crystals on them that resemble the one in your hand. A pointy-eared humanoid is struggling with two skeletons nearby, but soon manages to smash one of them apart. A red-robed figure makes arcane gesture and fires several bolts of arcane force towards a distant black-robed man, the apparent source of the other voice. Your right hand drops the crystal to the ground and draws a longsword, and you feel the suit of muscle and blood propel itself forward, rapidly closing the gap between you and the man apparently named Gyrnax.>Continued...
Gyrnax opens his mouth to speak, but your meat suit wraps both hands around his slender throat, knocking him to the ground."Time to put an end to your evil, Gyrnax!" you can hear the voice rattling around and vibrating in your throat. It's very uncomfortable."Wait...you cannot do this! I command you to stop at once!" Gyrnax says, his voice growing desperate as he looks into the eyes in your sockets.No, that's not right.He's looking past the eyes in your sockets. He's looking at you. He's talking to you."Do something, you...miserable spirit," he spits. "Without me, you're....." he coughs and begins choking."Shut up and die!" your throat rasps.>You are a warrior's RECENTLY-ANIMATED SENTIENT SKELETON>The necromancer who apparently created you is being strangled by your meat exterior. Will you...>RIP AND TEAR yourself out of the meat suit, killing it and saving your creator?or>BIDE YOUR TIME and see if there's a more opportune moment to reveal yourself
>>44941094>RIP AND TEAR yourself out of the meat suit, killing it and saving your creator?dank memes
>>44941094>RIP AND TEAR yourself out of the meat suit, killing it and saving your creator?Sounds fucking metal.
>>44941094>BIDE YOUR TIME and see if there's a more opportune moment to reveal yourself
>>44941094>BIDE YOUR TIME and see if there's a more opportune moment to reveal yourselfThis is the set up for the world's best practical joke ever.
>>44941094>>RIP AND TEAR yourself out of the meat suit, killing it and saving your creator?
>>44941340The barbarian's face furrows with concern. Slowly, his trembling hands release themselves from around the necromancer's throat. The necromancer coughs a bit more, but the cough fades into a thin wiry laugh. The barbarian begins to scream as his flesh begins to wriggle and contort, bulging and writhing in unnatural ways. The sound echoes across your bones, like nails on a chalkboard. You redouble your efforts.The barbarian's arms flop uselessly to his sides, wrinkled and bleeding, as his arm bones slowly extract themselves from his arms like the sleeves of a shirt. There is a wet, slurping sound, like a condom full of raw hamburger being forcibly emptied. Several points of pressure express themselves upon the barbarian's throat, and his arms jiggle helplessly as the white needles of your fingerbones punctures through and force a gap open in the throat. There is an impressive shower of gore as you force your arms all the way through and begin clawing your ribs free, handfuls of flesh at a time. Your spine arcs away from the limp, raglike torso and arms. Only the legs continue to kick as the eyes roll helplessly in their sockets. Eventually you are able to tear your legbones free of the barbarian's overworked thighs. This was clearly not a man who skipped leg day. You can still feel the muscles of the face tensing and jerking in agony when you begin to peel off the skin. You save the eyes for last, your vision clearing without the jellylike obstructions in your sockets.Finally you stand before Gyrnax, bones slick with blood and bits of viscera that clung to the bone when it tore from the muscle. The necromancer smiles. Nearby, the remaining skeleton has gotten the best of the elf and is smashing her skull in with its own severed armbone. The red-robed figure, whose only visible feature is a long, steel-gray beard, readies themselves.>DYNAMIC ENTRY>MURDER! +300 SPOOKY POINTS"Well don't just stand there!" Gyrnax says. "Get him!">What do?
>>44941602>Kill this fool who dares try and command us
>>44941602>Kill the necromancer.What folly man has wrought by bringing that which is most spooky into the world.
>>44941602summon the necromancer skeletton with his book
>>44941602geek the beardmage
>>44941602>Attack the red-robed figure
>>44941631>>44941625This sounds like an awful idea.>>44941602>Attack the red-robed figure
>Interlude: Stat UpdateYou are a recently awakened skeleton. You find yourself more capable of complex thought than your rudimentary knowledge base suggests skeletons should be capable of.>Str 14>Dex 12Your meat suit was in fairly good shape.>Con --Your life force is perpetual. Spooky.>Roll 3d6 for INTELLIGENCE>Roll 3d6 for WISDOM>Roll 3d6 for CHARISMAHP: 12 (base) +24 (Awakened)
Rolled 1, 3, 3 + 3 = 10 (3d6 + 3)>>44941686
Rolled 6, 1, 1 = 8 (3d6)>>44941686
Rolled 3, 3, 5 = 11 (3d6)>>44941686Charisma
>>44941699>+3DISREGARDED WHAT IS THIS
>>44941719We Suave Skeleton>>44941738It's fine just lower the total by 3 to get the real result.
Rolled 2, 1, 1 = 4 (3d6)>>44941738That seems rather arbitrary. Does this mean we roll one more?
Rolled 5, 1, 6 = 12 (3d6)>>44941686Spooky wisdom
>>44941749Fine, we'll take the 7 so you guys don't have a fucking 4 Int.>Int 7>Wis 8>Cha 11You feel the magicks that raised you solidifying in your bones, imbuing you with dark power.>+2 to any one stat, and then we'll get to attacking the wizard.
>>44941809+2 to wisdom sounds good.
>>44941809Con! Wait, no. Cha!
>>44941809+2 str. Let's get us some calcium.
>>44941863Nick is that you?
>>44941809Str, we are Skelarnold!
>>44941979>Finaru Stats>HP: 36/36>Str 14>Dex 12>Con -- >Int 7 (lol u dum)>Wis 10>Cha 11The red-robed wizard murmurs some magical gobblygook, and a shimmering blur appears around his feet. He seems to move more lightly on his feet, and may be preparing an escape!>You are armed with YOUR TWO IVORY-TICKLERS>Roll 1d20 to attack>As always, a circumstance bonus is provided for situationally appropriate skelton puns
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>44942065I'VE GOT A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>44942065
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>44942065"I have a bone to pick with you" "Looks Like you're boned"
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>44942065BONE HIM
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>44942065We'll probably run out of humerus skeleton-related puns pretty quickly, though. Can be expand that tibia larger variety?
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>44942065uh... c-clavice hahatheres no good bone puns left
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>44942065I'm gonna shove my bacculum up your lacrimale
>Full Attack>>44942089>HIT>>44942093>HIT>Super Secret Damage Roll: 9 Total!"I've got a BONE to pick with you!" your real spoken voice emanates forth from your skull, and tiny pinpoints of red light gleam rhythmically from deep in your eye sockets when you speak. Your voice sounds familiar and natural to you, but you're sure you've never spoken before (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kWqDrMb5M8M vocal samples, previously recorded)Your hands scrabble at the wizard's papery skin, tearing away great gobs of his body. He stumbles out of your grasp, leaving behind a piece of his cheek, and tries to run, but Gyrnax fires a beam of cold blue light which punctures him through the back, and he topples into a sizzling pile in the corner. The material of his robes catches on fire and he is soon smoldering merrily.>MURDER! +150 SPOOKY POINTSYou and the other skeleton regard one another quietly. He stands lax, his severed arm in his hand."Guess we boned him good, huh?" you offer. He clatters his jaw absently but does not otherwise respond."Boss! We heard noises!" Three small green humaoids with enormous ears and moist-rubbery-looking skin tumble into the room, outsized spears in hand and lopsided human-sized helms partially obscuring their vision."Of course you did you idiots!" Gyrnax shouts. "Look around you! Those travelling fuck ups from the road must have tracked you back here! I had to rely on these mindless idiots to clean up your mess!" He jerks his thumb in your direction.>Gyrnax does not seem to realize that you are more than a mindless drone skeleton.>WHAT DO?
>>44942273do the skeleton dance
>>44942273Get a weapon and kill Gyrnax. Or just pick up one of the green midgets and beat him to death with it.
>>44942273Play our ribs like a xylophone
>>44942273>SPOOKY dance towards him>then kill him
>>44942273Laugh at the greenskins
>>44942273>"Cogito ergo sum.">"By the way, I hate tibia drag, but what does a skeleton have to do to get some milk around here?"
We proceed to:>>Rip And Tear >>Steal all the good stuff>>become sooper spook
>>44942318Can we kill him by beating him to death with a goblin?
>>44942273>>44942323This anon knows what's up. Get that calcium. Then we can bone the necromancer.
>>44942273Saunter up and drape an arm around his shoulders, then rip and tear.
>RIP AND TEAR one of the goblins for fucking up and being followed
>ATTACK GYRNAX locked
>>44942435Well this is either going to be a quick bad end due to killing the one who animated us or good news we can independently support our existence.
>>44942472Either way, It'll be fun.
You begin jauntily bobbing up and down at the knees to an unseen beat. The other skeleton reflexively follows suit, although his heart doesn't really seem in it."What is this now?" Gyrnax says, slightly incredulous.You begin waving your arms back and forth as you bob your way over to the necromancer. One eyebrow arches at you as you continue dancing. Behind you, the other skeleton begins lazily playing his ribcage in a slow salsa rhythm.One of your arms reaches out and grabs one of the goblins by his thin green wrist. You wrench the creature off the ground and attack Gyrnax, using it as a makeshift club>SURPRISE ROUND>Roll 1d20 for your attack>Roll 1d20 for your initiative>Roll 1d6 for your potential damage>Rolls counted in order received.
Rolled 9, 13 = 22 (2d20)>>44942526Attack and initiative.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>44942526
Rolled 18, 19 = 37 (2d20)>>44942526The first is for Attack, the second for Initiative.
Rolled 4 (1d6)>>44942526
First quest I've taken part in
Rolled 5 (1d6)>>44942526Can I cut in?
Rolled 1 (1d6)>>44942547Holy shit. Here's potential damage
>>44942561Damn I thought it would roll a d20Do I put it in name or options?
>>44942580Options. Make sure you put dice+1d20 in it though.
>>44942580Optionsdice+1d20(or whatever you're rolling)
>>44942587>>44942600>>44942615Thank you I forgot to put dice in front of it
>Please one roll per post so as many people as possible can be impactful>Attack 9 (+2)>Initiative 10 (+4)>Damage 4 (+2)The goblin's skull collides with Gyrnax's head, the helmet falling off and rolling into some dusty corner of the cave. The necromancer stumbles back, shaking his head and spitting out a tooth. The other two goblins begin warbling and shrieking in panic."What the fuck is this?" Gyrnax spits. "You miserable pile of keratin!">What do? Roll 1d20 where appropriate
Rolled 12 (1d20)Keep beating him.
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>44942697
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>44942697Bite his throatThat my-oid hyoid bone now!
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>44942697The beatings shall continue until morale improves
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>44942697Ahaha! You're BONED now, numbSKULL!
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>44942697Run Away
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>44942697Pick up another goblin and dual weild them. Also, our Skelebro has to keep doing the xylophone with his ribcage so we can battle dance.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>44942697Let's Bone him
Rolled 8 (1d20)WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE FUCKER
>>44942714>>44942738>Attack 12 (+2. Actually, undead get a BAB for their HD, my bad, +3)>Spooky Secret Damage Roll: 4 (+2) (+SPOOP)"Looks like you're BONED now, numbSKULL!" you shout.You whip the goblin back and slam it into Gyrnax again. The goblin's nose breaks, showering black foul-smelling blood all over your already-wet bones and the necromancer's robes. Gyrnax lets out a soft choking sound and then lies still, blood pooling around him slowly. The goblin stops struggling and goes limp, dangling from your hand and dragging along the ground.The two surviving goblins compose themselves too late to participate in the battle, but manage to prostrate themselves before you, their spears clattering to the ground. In the background, the other skeleton continues beating out steel-drumlike beats."Old boss mean. Old boss gone now.""New boss spooky!""No, uh...no bones about it!"They wince at you hopefully.>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?>KILL the goblins>Other (write-in)
>>44942853Can we use the spell the necromancer used to make us to make more skellybros out of the goblins?
>>44942853We animate the Skeletons inside the Goblins and take both them and the Goblins themselves as minions.
>>44942853>>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?
>>44942853>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?They did a bone pun, they get to live.
>>44942853>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?
>>44942853>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?Make them get milk.Also, loot the necromancer.
>>44942853>They wince at you hopefully.God I hope that was intentional and not a typo.
>>44942853"I just can't kill those innocent goblins... looks like I don't have the GUTS to do it!"
>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions
>>44942853>>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?But make the prove their DANCE SKILLS.
>>44942853>>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minions?We need some living minions, because skeleton lack reproduction parts.And also demand them to get flashy clothes for us as the new lord.
>SPARE the goblins and take them on as your bumbling minionSpare them until we learn necromancy, and upgrade them to skeleton goblins
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>44942853"No bones? I like the gut of your jib! What's the deal around here, anyway? Who was this flesh bag?"
Rolled 1 (1d20)https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDdR4c9vcEw because it's stuck in my fucking head.
>>44942873>>44942880Looking around the cave, you eventually discover Gyrnax's spellbook, close to the altars with the crystal formations. You open it up, and are disappointed to discover that YOU CANNOT READ MAGIC, YOU 7 INT ILLITERATE FUCCBOI. You wonder if you can even read Common.>SPARE"Guess I just don't have the GUTS to kill you," you say to the goblins. "But seeeeerve me well, lest you end up like, uh...""Me Pirk.""Me Nirk!""He, uh...he Mirk""Lest you end up like Mirk here!"The goblins nod eagerly."Now what the hell is going on here?""Boss, that is, Old Boss, he stole-""Had us steal!""-Had US steal the mayor's three daughters. They're back there in the cave.""Mayor, he hired a party of adventurers to get the girls back.""We tried to stop them on the road, but we had to run and-""-We retreat, tactically. Guess they followed us here.""What's all this?" You gesture to the crystals and the larger skeleton laid out between them."Boss said he was going to conjugate-""Conjure.""Conjure up something...""Boss said he wanted minions that were, um...""Akchewally Com Poe Tent!"The goblins smile and nod at one another, then glance at you vacantly. In the background, the skeleton sways back and forth slowly as its spooky tunes echo through the cave chamber.>Attempt to RANSOM the Mayor's daughters back to the village?>RETURN the Mayor's daughters and try to get into the town's good graces?>EXPLORE Gyrnax's cave system further?>Other? (Write-in)>+150 Spooky Points for murdering Gyrnax, and another +50 for Stylish rank combat.
>>44943111>RETURN the Mayor's daughters and try to get into the town's good graces?
>>44943111>RETURN the Mayor's daughters and try to get into the town's good graces?Because we are anything if not a gentleman. And we have a decent CHA and WIS as well.
>>44943111>OtherTry talking to the other skeleton and finf out if he is as sentient as we are.Maybe it can even read.
>>44943111>>Other? (Write-in)>> Make Mayor's three daughter into your lover/servant.
>>44943111>EXPLORE Gyrnax's cave system further?See if we can find any spoopy artifacts
>>44943154Besides, I don't think we can bone them in the conventional sense anyway.
>>44943111Make a bone pun to the daughters. See if they laugh.>give your dad a STERNUM talking to for letting you get kidnapped
>>44943111>OtherTry talking to the other skeleton and finf out if he is as sentient as we are.Maybe it can even read.If not then:>RETURN the Mayor's daughters and try to get into the town's good graces?
>>44943111>EXPLORE Gyrnax's cave system further?We should try to do things to up our intelligence.
>>44943111>>RETURN the Mayor's daughters and try to get into the town's good graces?Making bone puns all the time.
>>44943111>>EXPLORE Gyrnax's cave system further?
>OTHER SKELETONYou approach the other skeleton, who has been xylophoning one handed since you initiated the battle dance."Alright, good stuff, that's enough," you say.The skeleton stops playing and lets his severed arm fall to the ground beside him."So, did you work here long before I showed up, or-?"The skeleton's mouth slowly falls open and a long slow hiss escapes from his empty jaw."Alllright then," you say. "As you were."The skeleton slowly picks up his arm and resumes playing his ribcage.>EXPLORE CAVES before RETURNING DAUGHTERSYou follow one exit hallway from the room, finding that it eventually proceeds upwards to the ground level, the cave mouth poorly-hidden from view with some hastily-transplanted shrubbery. Deeper into the cave, you find a tiny kitchen area and dining nook, which doubled as a living area for the goblins. You also find Gyrnax's study, which is filled with more magical books you can't read, although you note that many of the shelves are empty. (Wisdom check: 20!) It looks like maybe Gyrnax was not very well-established here and was looking to either ransom the mayor's daughters for some seed money or maybe sacrifice them to some abyssal entity. Still deeper in the cave, you find the necromancer's sleeping quarters, where three young female humans are tied up, sleeping fitfully, and a storage room. The storage room contains some dry grains, barrels of ale and water, and a large crate labeled SARNAX THE MAGINIFICENT'S QUANTUM TREASURE CUBES ("Because a Wizard concerns himself not with if something 'should' be done!")Prying open the crate, you can see a golden cube inside, about 8 inches on each side. Each of the cube's six faces has a small latch and is illustrated with a picture and a short description. You realize with relief that you can indeed read Common.>Open which door of the Treasure Cube?>Wand of Inflict Light Wounds>+1 Longsword>Ring of Protection +1>Hat of Disguise>Cloak of Charisma +2>Eyes of the Eagle (+4 Spot)
>>44943436>Cloak of Charisma +2WE ARE THE TRUE HERO THIS WORLD NEEDS!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xg2eYFNSPBU
>>44943436>Hat of DisguiseSeems way too useful
>>44943436>Cloak of Charisma +2People won't even care we're spooky at this rate.
>>44943436>Cloak of Charisma +2
>>44943436The hat of disguise doesn't give a magic bonus, so it's probably just a Groucho marks glasses&mustache combo glued to a hat.We need it.
>>44943436>>Hat of Disguise
>>44943513>It's a +10 to Disguise rolls, my bad
>>44943436>>Cloak of Charisma +2Time for us to become the DARK LORD OF THE BOOGIE
We need the cloak of Charisma. It'll help keep the chill out of our weary bones.
>>44943558Still assuming it's the groucho Marx glasses and mustache though
>>44943558So it IS just Groucho Mark glasses and moustache.
>>44943558Heck with that, then.Let's get those eyes, I bet with them in our sockets we get a charisma boneus for looking pimp as hell anyway.
>>44943436Hat of disguise!
>>44943576Fuck this get>>44943558
>>44943599>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U2V5hDQeM68I can't stop watching that now, thanks.
>>44943462>THAT FUCKING SPOOKY SCARY SKELETONS RIFF THROWN IN THEREMasterwork
>>44940979Hey I saw you trying to make this thread a few hours ago, but it 404-ed. Glad you decided to try again.
>>44943436Cloak of Charisma! If we want to be spooky we need that CHA for intimidate.And diplomacy.
>Cloak of Charisma, by a hairYou press inward on the cube, and it somewhat disconcertingly begins folding rapidly inwards on itself. With an actually-kind-of-cute slurping -pop- it vanishes, leaving you with a finely-made cloak of deep purple, with gold trimming and patches and filigree of forest green. You throw it around your skeletal shoulders, fastening it with the included brooch.>Cha +2 (13 total, +1 bonus to Cha-related skills and challenges)>RETURN MAYOR'S DAUGHTERSYou swagger into Gyrnax's chambers, letting the door slam behind you, which awakens the sleeping maidens. The mayor's three daughters are all very fair, one blond, one raven-haired, and one redheaded, in flagrant mockery of basic genetics. They cower away from you as you enter, you you hold up a hand to silence them, which causes them to begin screaming in panic."Easy now girls. We're going to have to give your father a STERNum talking to for letting you get kidnapped."Your jaw hangs open in an expectant grin, which closely resembles the face you make before you sink your teeth into someone's throat. One of the girls exhales sharply."Tough crowd..." you murmur to yourself. "Look, the sausage in the black robes is deceased. As, ehhh, as are the adventurers your father sent to rescue you. But hey, I'm here, so everything's great! Everything's fine! I'm going to return you to the mayor."The girls stare at you, speechless. Eventually, the redhead meekly asks you to untie her.>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Leave the girls TIED UP so they can't escape if they get spooked and bring them back to town that way.DOUBLE VOTE>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?or>Attempt to DISGUISE yourself as a heavily-cloaked foreigner using some spare clothes from Gyrnax's bedchamber and your new swag cloak?
>>44944028>>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?Ask them if they're hungry because you've got some SPARE RIBS.
>>44944028>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?
>>44944028>UNTIE girls and lead them back as skeltal as we can be
>>44944028>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?No need for disguise with so much diplomacy bonus (What, +1 is not much, pffff...)
>>44944028>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?YOU CANNOT HIDE OUR OH SO BONEY SELF!
>>44944028>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self"I know beauty i only SKIN deep so I might not be a looker but there isn't a evil BONE in my body, lets get you girls home"
Untie them and bring them to town as ourselves. Not even gonna try a pun because >>44944062 is the clear winner here.
>>44944028>>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?
>>44944028>UNTIE the girls and lead them back to the town>Bring the girls back to town as your glorious skeletal self?and we will be dancing all the way there.
>>44944028We need a name!Do we have zero memories or do we remember anything of an old life or are we just animated life without any past?
>>44944280I vote for Jeff Bones to be our name.
>>44944317Depends on the settings.I would vote for Bonny (I don't know. It's also a guy name, right?) and for last name I dunno
>>44944280I vote Cal C. Uhm
>>44944101>For reference, 13 Charisma makes you slightly more charismatic than an average human being.>Murder everything around within seconds of coming into existence.>"lol jk we good guys now"Love you /tg/You untie the three girls, which seems to calm them down a bit, although bits of the necromancer and the person you used to live inside are still all over your bones."Anybody hungry?" you offer. The girls all nod."Good, I got some spare ribs." You lean in, clacking your jaw at them. Slowly the girls begin laughing, at first nervously, but then genuinely. A lot of their stress and fear seems to melt away, and the redhead laughs until she starts crying."No, but really, we're starving," the blond says.You manage to find some bread for them in the storeroom, and after they've had a bit to eat, you set out towards the town. You leave Pirk and Nirk to work on cleaning up all the gore strewn everywhere and better concealing the cave entrance. As you're leaving, you can still hear the faint echoing of Xylobones plunking away in the ritual chamber.You pass the time on the road with idle chat. The mayor's three daughters are Juniper (Raven), Lavendar (Redhead), and Forsythia (Blond). Their father, Ignus, has been the mayor of the small village of Belford for as long as they can remember. The village exists primary on subsistence farming, and the economy gets a bit of a boost by it's proximity to the Bel River. Most of the village is sprawling fields and cottages but there is a small walled center of mercantile trade and governance, which you are approaching as the sun nears midday. Two lazy-looking guards as standing near the gate, but they perk up quickly as you approach.>Continued
>>44944280I vote Bill
>>44944359I just want to be called Mr. Bones. First name pending.
>>44944280Os Cnáim OstoOs mean bone in latin.Cnáim mean bone in old irishOsto mean bone in greek
>>44944370>>44944380 If we are named Billy Bones, we need a tricorne with our charisma cape
>>44944366>Murder everything around within seconds of coming into existence.>"lol jk we good guys nowhey, we didn't murder EVERYTHING. Just most of the things.
>>44944366>>44944431And we did it to secure the situation. Basics rule, first safety then adventuring. We you have someone that can fuck you very much in front of you, you hit first. Then we decide to deal with the problem the more easy way possible: Nice guy
>>44944422Billy Bones, i like that one.
>>44944366>Circumstantial modifiers are high enough that you automatically pass this DiplomacyThe guards are NOT pleased to see a skeleton in a swag ass cape approaching with the merchant's three daughters, but you and the girls are able to defuse the situation pretty easily, if only because it doesn't occur to the guards that anything could control the girl's minds. You are lead through the town center to the Mayor's building, a small annex attached to the local smithy. It seems Ignus was a smith in his youth and only turned to politics after turning the forge over to his son Ferrus.Ignus is a stocky man, but fills every inch of his space with muscle and gristle. His hands and arms are crisscrossed with scars and callouses. He jumps to his feet when you and his daughters enter."What is the meaning of this?" He bellows. "Guards! Why hasn't this abomination been smashed to powder?!"The guards and the mayor's daughters all drown each other out trying to explain. Eventually you step towards the mayor, swooshing your cape loudly. The room falls into silence, all eyes on your impassive skelal face."The name's Bones," you say, thinking quickly. Names are a think people have, right? "Billy Bones. Mr. Bones will do fine.""Well, Mr. Bones," the mayor spits out the name like it's spoiled food. "Explain yourself.">Explain yourself, Mr. Bones. First d20 roll sets the base for Diplomacy, will add circumstantial modifiers as appropriate.
>>44944532>with the merchantShould be with the mayor, sorry, I've begun drinking heavily.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>44944532Hello there fleshbags, I was just delivering these colorful females back.They didn't seem to find my jokes HUMERUS.
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>Hey, don't worry. I'm not the one who Rib-Caged your daughters. In fact, I saved them!
>>44944532Well, you see, I was in between meat and a calcific place when I had the wonderful idea of smashing the necromancer that made me and release these fine you ladies back into your possession because they're too...squishy for me.
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>44944532Well you see ever since I was just a lil skull plant I always wanted to grow up to be an adventurer. When I heard you had a bone to pick with some evil doer, I knew that even though the radius of my skills was small, I could step up and do the job.
>>44944584Yes they did, when they got out of choc
>>44944584>fleshbagsThis word always entertains me.
>>44944532Don't get out of joint!Ha Ha Ha.I'm returning your daughters. You're welcome.
>17+massive situational modifiers = DAMN SON U SUAVE"Easy there, fleshbags," you say. "I'm not the one who rib-caged your daughters. In fact, I saved them!"The mayor looks unmoved."Honest! I was just delivering these colorful females back to their home. Seems they didn't find my jokes very humerus.""It's true Daddy!" Juniper says. "Gyrnax must have made him wrong or something. A traitor skeleton."The mayor's eyes keep darting back and forth between you and his daughters. "What about the adventurers who went out to rescue them?""Unfortunately my willpower was mustered just a bit too late to save them, I'm afraid," you say, grinning sheepishly, which involves nothing at all changing about your facial expression. "But don't get out of joint! heh heh...they were appropriately avenged."The mayor regards the situation for several more silent seconds."Fine," he says at last. "Mr....Bones...you will receive the reward initially promised to the late party of adventurers. 200 gold pieces, and a sword forged by my son Ferrus." The daughters all clap giddily. "But I don't want you sticking around town and terrorizing my townsfolk, you've probably caused enough shat pants already. At dark I want you out of here.">ACCEPT the mayor's reward.>TURN DOWN the reward graciously.>TURN DOWN the reward in favor of asking for one of the mayor's daughters in marriage
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>44944877>>TURN DOWN the reward in favor of asking for one of the mayor's daughters in marriage
>>44944877>TURN DOWN the reward graciously.>Instead I'd like to be able to visit once a week!
>>44944877>ACCEPT the mayor's reward.>Ask to get the necromancer lair + minions for ourselves
>>44944877Can we look the sword over, see if our's is better?Don't marry the girl, I don't want to be stuck in some dead end marriage where we never bone anymore.
>>44944877>>TURN DOWN the reward graciously.I, SKELETOR, NEED NOT YOUR SHINY DISCS MAN-THINGJUST GIVE ME MILK
>>44944877>>TURN DOWN the reward in favor of asking for one of the mayor's daughters in marriage
>>44944877>TURN DOWN the reward graciously.I BILLY BONES ONLY REQUIRE MILK!
>>44944921I second this
>>44944877>ACCEPT the mayor's rewardLets go adventuring!but insist on being allowed to shop some clothes first.
>Scratch head with horrible grating sound> ask if anyone in town can read magic
>>44944877>accept reward>buy several hundred gallons of milk>bathe in said milk
>>44944877"Mr. Bones doesn't really need a sword. He prefers to HANDle things bare-knuckle. Appreciate the offer, though! Tibia honest with you, all I really want is your permission your permission to open an inn outside of town where Gyrnax was holed up. Gonna be a real hopping joint - live Xylobone music every night!"
>>44944877>ACCEPT the mayor's reward.
Take the reward. We don't want to be boned later
>>44944992>locked here>>44944992>>44944921"I have no need for your metal discs, man-thing," you say to the mayor. "Instead, perhaps allow me to visit your humble village once a week to conduct any necessary business. I intend to continue utilizing my creator's dwelling for my own living and working quarters, so I need to trouble your good townspeople often.""Shit, if it saves me 200 gold, that's just fine." The mayor says. "But the very first time someone even complains that you're spooking them out, I'm going to run you out of town and have my boys smash you apart.""That seems...fair-ish," you say.>QUEST COMPLETED>+500 SPOOKY POINTSYou can feel the dark powers tethering you to this world increasing. A great heroism has awakened within you. You are now a Level 1 character. But what class will you pursue?>FIGHTER. Melee combat shall be your specialty. Str and Con are key stats. A mixture of brute force and tactical maneuvers.>BARBARIAN. Str to the exclusion of all else. You gain the ability to temporarily increase your strength by entering into murderous Rages. Your original meatsuit was a Barbarian.>BARD. You focus on Charisma, but Dex and Int play a role as well. A jack-of-all trades class that gives you access to minor magics and combat skills>CLERIC. You will choose a deity to worship in an attempt to curry divine favor and be granted magical powers. Wis is key skill.>PALADIN. Similar to a cleric, but trading some of your magical power for melee training. Following the path of a Paladin requires strict adherance to a moral code.>ROGUE. Another jack-of-all trades class but with combat maneuvers and additional skills rather than the Bard's rudimentary magic. Dex/Cha are key skills>SORCERER. You will pursue your innate magical nature and gain the ability to cast magical spells, although your talents are more based on innate talent than a wizard's studious magical learnings.>I will allow a healthy period of time for this choice to be debated
>>44944877OP, I can tell you really want to make a bunch of sexual puns involving bones so.>TURN DOWN-- daughters in marriage
>>44945267SORCERERMORE SPECIFICALLYNECROMANCERI CAN REVIVE MYSELFI CAN PRETEND TO BE A LICH
>>44945267Bard feels to be our calling!
>>44945267Motherfucking bard.We should probably dress like a pirate as well.
>>44945267We're dumb but charismatic. Bard probably. But we are a barbarian skeleton. A bardbarian.
>>44945267>SORCERER. You will pursue your innate magical nature and gain the ability to cast magical spells, although your talents are more based on innate talent than a wizard's studious magical learnings.
>>44945267BARD. You focus on Charisma, but Dex and Int play a role as well. A jack-of-all trades class that gives you access to minor magics and combat skillsI love them bards
>>44945267>BARDor>SORCERERlets use our charisma!
>>44945267>SORCERERuse our charisma for magic
>>44945267>>BARD. I suggest bard, it give us more flexibility and we maybe can become a Necro-Bard.
>>44945267Sorcerers cast off Charisma, right? If so that's my vote. I was thinking bard then remembered we already have Xylobones in our party, so it's covered.Second choice Paladin. Matches our behavior so far - walk in, kill everyone, be the good guy.
Sorcerer would make us full casters and we wouldn't be held back by low intelligence
>>44945267>SORCERERLet's show the world that we can charismaticly rock us some magic even with 7 Int.
>>44945267>>SORCERER. You will pursue your innate magical nature and gain the ability to cast magical spells, although your talents are more based on innate talent than a wizard's studious magical learnings.
>>44945267Bard we already got a swag cape we can attach strings to our ribs and play banjo
>>44945386do you really think we can adhere to a code?
>>44945441Also paladins deal in positive energy. Feels like playing with fire.But Sorcerer would literally let us play with fire
>SORCERER.We will cast bone spells. And they will fear our name.NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH NYEH
>>44945267Bard, I want to Bone ^^
>>44945267>SORCERER. You will pursue your innate magical nature and gain the ability to cast magical spells, although your talents are more based on innate talent than a wizard's studious magical learnings.I'm late but hi
>Sorcerer locked, but damn it was a close one. Sorry Bards, maybe you can fuck up your progression later by multiclassing.
>>44945822Let's do that.
>>44945822>The necrotic magician bardI LIKE IT
Sorcerer-Bard sounds unholy in terms of Chr. Let's do it.
>>44945822>>44945853We're definitely going to do that.
>>44945822We can still learn how to sing, wear frilly clothes, and pretend to be a bard to unsuspecting enemies, right?
>>44945900The dubs demand it, it will be the ultimate ruse!
>>44945822>SORCERERYou feel a surge of magical power crackling through your bones like electricity. Yes! Magic is your calling. But what sort of sorcery will you pursue?>Level Zero Spells Learned:>Detect Magic>Read Magic>Light>THIS WORLD SHALL BURN>Learn Burning Hands, Magic Missile, Flare>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLE>Learn Daze, Charm Person, Sleep>THE SHADOWS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETS>Learn Message, Disguise Self, Obscuring Mist>THE POWERS OF DEATH ARE NOTHING BEFORE ME>Learn Disrupt Undead, Chill Touch, Cause Fear
>>44945990>>THE SHADOWS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETS
>>44945990>THE SHADOWS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETS>Learn Message, Disguise Self, Obscuring MistSpooky
>>44945990>>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLE
>>44945953a trap skeleton?there is a joke to be found here, which might not be our protag
>>44945990Death or shadows.
>>44945990>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLE>Learn Daze, Charm Person, Sleep
>>44945990>THE POWERS OF DEATH ARE NOTHING BEFORE MEIts gotta be our closest ties to magic
>>44945990Shit this is a hard choice>THE SHADOWS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETSLets do the Mind games just in case
>>44945990>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLE
>>44946042Make an actual vote fuckwit, not "this or that"
>>44945990How about a mix: Disguise self, obscuring mist, cause fear
>>44946065>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLEmeant this one ^
>>44945990>THE SECRETS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETS
>>44946083My vote won't be the one that decides, might as well make sure both stays in the game.Having a bad day by the way?
>>44946048>THE POWERS OF DEATH ARE NOTHING BEFORE METHISIF YOU PICK ANYTHING ELSE, YOU ARE DOING A DISSERVICE TO SKELETON CONCEPT.ALLOW ME TO ARGUE!>Disrupt UndeadAny of our fellow skeletons get uppity, or we're in a fight we can't win and we need to play dead, zap and the target goes down!>Chill touchFreeze the living, create new (slightly meatier) dead! Freak people out with our spoopy coldness>Cause FearSpoopy Scary Skeleton? Need I say more?
>>44945990>THE SHADOWS WILL REVEAL THEIR SECRETShttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PBHvJrVma8Y
>>44946144I thought we were going the route of a Charming Spoopy Skeleton
>>44946170tg is not one mind
>>44946170Ah my friend! But, consider the other options.>SHADOWS>CRUMBLING MINDS>WORLD BURNSounds pretty scary to me.
>We're at 4:4 for Shadow vs. Mind magic, need a tiebreaker
Voting for>powers of death
>>44945990The Powers Of Death.Only because it is absolutely vital that we not learn Disguise Self. We are a proud, independent skeleton who don't need no meat.
>>44946275It's all to spooky for me
>>44946334Oh poo, I suppose I'll change my vote to Mind.Shadow will just make us look like non-skeletons and where's the fun in that?
>>44946334I voted death earlier, i guess i can switch to shadow
>>44946334Of those? Mind. Disguise Self is not allowed. Gotta show off that great bone structure.
>>44946335>>44946346>Well that makes it a three-way tie, soooooo>>44946368>>44946373>>44946388>Mind locked
>>44946448WOAH WOAH WOAH BRODEATH WON FIRST>>44946346
>>44946497>Either you miscounted or I did, and either way it's too late to go back now. I think you counted the person that voted for two things and I didn't? If I fucked up somewhere else I apologize.>THE MINDS OF MY ENEMIES WILL CRUMBLEYou grin evilly, which is to say that nothing at all changes about your facial expression. You think about the way the minds of these people were massaged into the desired forms by your words and deeds. You can feel your will pressing against theirs like a field of force, probing and seeking for ways to exert your mind's influence upon the material plane.>Zero-Level Spells (5/day)>Daze (mometarily confuse a target and cause it to lose its ability to act coherently for a few seconds)>Detect Magic (Detects the presence of magical fields or effects)>Read Magic (Allows you to read magical tomes and scrolls.)>Light (Causes an object to emit soft light like a torch)>First-Level Spells (4/day)>Charm Person (For up to one hour, a sentient target regards you as a trusted friend and ally. You may attempt to give them orders but they will not harm themselves directly. Works best on people you are not actively fighting)>Sleep (Puts a small group of people to sleep for up to 1 minute.)Well according to the mayor you have until dark to vacate the town. Anything rattle your bones around town?>Visit the BLACKSMITH'S SHOP>Keep talking to the MAYOR'S FAMILY>Hit up the local TAVERN and socialize with the local questgivers>Visit THE DOCKS in search of random encounters
>>44946711Go to tavern.Procure milk.
>>44946711>Hit up the local TAVERN and socialize with the local questgivers
>>44946711Talk to mayors family,learn whats going on around here.
>>44946711Ask the mayor if he knows that there's a skeleton hiding inside of him RIGHT NOWOr maybe it's trapped?
>A WORD ABOUT MAGIC>By choosing the Mind magic path, you've obviously gained access to some seriously game-breaking abilities, with which you can exploit any number of mundane situations. But!!>People in the world are aware that magic exists. Even if podunk locals aren't on guard patrol with magic spells in mind, reports of crowds of people being put to sleep or people having their minds controlled WILL attract attention, not all of it positive. This isn't a threat or a railroad warning or anything, just don't get carried away with the mind-control without understanding that it could have long-term consequences for an area...assuming there are surviving witnesses.
>>44946711>OtherAsk one of the girls to show you around town.Lets have a date!
>>44946796Do people know they have been mind controlled?
>>44946825Second, Preferebly the redhead! SHe liked our jokes alot!
>>44946825thirdedroll to bone her at the end
>>44946841>In the moment, a Charmed person will not question why they view you so favorably or why they want to help you, but they retain full functionality and will have memories of the things they saw and did while Charmed, which would probably lead them to question inconsistent actions or beliefs. Additionally, there is a chance that mind-altering spells fail, in which case the person will have a sensation from contact with the magic, although they may not recognize it as such.
>>44946825Ask if the red head would be willing to give us a tour of the town!
>>44946825Yep, best plan right here
>>44946796There goes my "put everyone to sleep and drink all the milk" plan
HOLY SHIT I GOT ITWAIT FOR ITMILK BATHS!
>>44946920We need to do this
Wish there was an option for transmutation, my favorite school.
"I wonder, Mr. Mayor, if I might entreat one of your fair daughters to show me around the town before I depart for the evening? Lavendar?"Lavendar's face brightens up, but the Mayor looks displeased. He hems and haws for several seconds about propriety before finally acquiescing, demanding that you stay on your best behavior."Cross my cranium and hope to crack!" you assure him."Oh, Mr. Mayor? I just wanted to let you know," you add, stopping at the door and turning to show him your grin. "There's a skeleton hiding inside you right now. Or is it trapped?" You leave him to ponder this before he can respond.Belford exists between two larger river towns, so it frequently gets passed over by long-range traders. It exists, as its name suggests, at an old fording of the river Bel, but the road is not so widely traveled these days. Still, the town attracts enough trade to get by, as well as some money from adventuresome treasure hunters traveling to the nearby cave systems. Lavendar cheerfully points out where everything has stood since her childhood. She seems to know and care little for far off places, and the townspeople seem to love her and the Mayor dearly. Word seems to have spread in advance of your coming, so while nearly everyone stops to whisper to the closest person as you pass, few people are outright terrified by your presence."What's over there?" you ask her, gesturing to a stand of trees beyond the town's walls."Oh, that's Sarnax's Forest. Everyone pretty much stays away from Sarnax, he's...maybe dangerous isn't the right word. He mostly stays in his tower in the center there, doing his experiments. We're lucky it's a forest right now, at least. It was huge mushrooms for at two months last year, and once for nearly a week it was," she shudders before forcing it out, "a skinyard, bloodfilled fruit of flesh being grown on thick thorny vines." She shakes the memory out of her head, chuckling to reassure herself that they're just trees now.>Continued
Eventually the two of you make your way to The Carp's Den, the town's local watering hole. Lavendar orders herself dandelion tea, and you order a tall glass of cow's milk, which you proceed to pour vigorous down your spine through your face, dampening the packed earth floor below you. The barkeep, a truly ridiculously fat man named Garth, has heard that you refused the mayor's gold (that is, the taxpayer's gold) and declares that you may drink for free, although not everyone in the bar is quite so welcoming. This seems to be the place where people stop if they're traveling through Belford on their way overland or upriver, and there are a fair share of people that Lavendar does not recognize. She orders some dinner, although you restrict yourself to a second glass of milk."So," she says while you're waiting for her food. "That is...you really can't remember anything about, you know, where you came from?">SPILL THE BEANS and tell her everything, trusting her confidence.>LIE and insist that you can't remember anything about murdering those adventurers>LIE and make some crap up>Other (Questions to ask her, maybe, things to do in the tavern, write-in)
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>44947386>the only thing I can remember is how beautiful your smile isDeflection attempt go!
>>44947386>lie and insistWe exactly know where we came from; someone's body.
>>44947386MILK FUCK YEAH>LIE and insist that you can't remember anything about murdering those adventurersProbably won't sit well with her if we tell her we forcibly removed ourselves from a man, before murdering two old men.>OtherAsk about local rumors, things we can do, people to spoop.
>>44947386"Do you?"I mean, humans don't remember their birth at all, or even being a baby.
>>44947509This. Fuck lying if we don't have to.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>44947386>LIE and Half-truths (also lets tell everyone a story of out bravery so rolling for charisma)"The first thing i remember was a man that looked like a barbarian get torn limb from limb by the evil black robed meat sausage's power, then he attacked the old man with a similar power but the man was still alive as i got closer to see if he was hurt. As soon as i had gotten there the the old man was struck down... As I turned to look at the evil sausage that struck the old man down, I decided that the world would be better of without him so I marched up to him and attacked him with a shout of "Looks like you're BONED now, numbSKULL!". ""after that I questioned the goblins and found you three captured beauties and well you know the story from there"
>LIES (and half-truths)>>44947828>Perform (Oratory) (+Cha, +Circumstance, 13)You leave out the bits about the person you tore to bits. But you tell Lavendar, loud enough that a small crowd slowly begins paying attention to you, about how you seized your sapience and wrought ruin on the necromancer with much punnery. The crowd doesn't seem extremely impressed, but you held their attention, and there was some scattered applause when you got to the part about rescuing the mayor's daughters. By the end of it, a few patrons have insisted on picking up Lavendar's tab, a third glass of milk for yourself included. You flash the patrons an enthusiastic thumbs up with one hand while pouring milk all over your face with the other.Lavendar seems to have greatly enjoyed your evening together. As twilight approaches, you deliver her back to the Mayor's house, where she somewhat awkwardly tells you what a good time she had, and that she hopes she sees you again, and gosh mister thanks ever so much for saving my life. However, you are reminded of your skelty form when she whisks inside the mayor's house without so much as a hug good-bye.>It's almost dark>STICK AROUND to cause mischief?>Get BACK TO THE CAVE before those fucking goblins break anything>Other?
>>44948042>>Get BACK TO THE CAVE before those fucking goblins break anything
>>44948042STAKE OUT the GRAVEYARD for anything fun or suspicious.
>>44948042>Back to caveTime to make plans for a hideout.
>>44948042> she whisks inside the mayor's house without so much as a hug good-byeAw. Even skelies enjoy nice hugs. Although she is probably just being polite and well-mannered.
>>44948042>Get BACK TO THE CAVE before those fucking goblins break anythingDon't want to cause any trouble, plus maybe we can find out what those books say now that we can read magic. Maybe spook someone if we pass anyone on the way out.
>>44948042This sound good >>44948142
>>44948042>Get BACK TO THE CAVE before those fucking goblins break anything
We can make trouble later
>>44948042>Get BACK TO THE CAVE before those fucking goblins break anythingWe can read magic books.Time to check out those books.
>>44948226I want to see what the necromancer was up to
>Back to the Cave>Spoops OptionalYou raise the hood on your cloak and begin the several hours' walk back to the cave. On your way out, you pass a couple heading for the Inn. It's dark, so they nod to you without really looking at you."Better hurry along to the Inn," you tell them, softly enough that they stop and lean in to hear you better. "Gonna rain this evening." You step towards them, just enough so that you slowly enter their lantern light as you speak."I can feel it...in me bones!"The two of them drop their lantern and scatter fearfully into the town. You cackle at them as they pass before stamping out the small fire started by their lantern and continuing home.Pirk and Nirk are still scraping the dirt over a shallow grave near the cave entrance when you approach. You come towards them in the pitch darkness, for you, like the goblins, can see perfectly even in the absence of light, the world cast as a dim colorless figment."Ah! Boss!""Did everything you asked, Boss!"Indeed, the mouth of the cave has had some dirt and underbrush piled up around it to narrow its entrance. As you enter, you can hear the distant hollow plonking of a marimba melody.>Going to wrap it up for this evening. I plan on running tomorrow from some time in the early afternoon until as late as ten or eleven. Thread is archived on suptg if you want to throw me a like, and I'm always open to any comments or suggestions in the threads.>I'm trying to go for as much fun factor as possible here, in a fairly typical fantasy world that has a slight bit of absurdity to it. Rules will be somewhat-loosely based on 3.5e, at least for stat progressions and overall framework, but we'll probably simplify combat significantly to avoid endless dice autism.>Stay cool, skellies. Until next time, drink your milk
>>44948545All times Eastern, btw
Good thread, might check it out tomorrow.
>>44948545Thanks for the game and hope to see you again :)
>>44948545I can't think of a bone pun, looking forward to more though.
>>44948561Best time zone
>>44948974Uh sure. @ChronPaul. I'll tweet tomorrow when I'm going to run.
Really enjoying this so far.Can't wait to see what spooks we can get up to tomorrow.
Just caught up reading, looking forward to another thread of this. Well written and noice suggestions from the people in the thread. Not often we actually get that on /tg/