You awake in pitch black, in a room that smells vaguely of brimstone and cinnamon. As you rise from your bed and light the cinnamon candle by your bedside for light, you remember that today is a big day. It's the day you officially become an Evil Lord. That is to say, you are evil, and will be dominating the area as if you were a lord.You clean up your armor and tie on your cape before heading down to the evil breakfast nook for a cup of black coffee and devil's food cake to start your day. Your daughter would scoff to see you having dessert for breakfast, especially after your last evil cardiologist visit, but it's a special day and she isn't around. As you enjoy your meal, you read from the paper, which arrives on your counter every morning via subscription based magic courtesy of entrepreneuring wizards. Nothing of real note yesterday, and you can't help but smirk as you predict tomorrow's headlines.There is a knock at the gate of your black fortress, and you head out to see who would dare interrupt your reading of the comic strips with such an early visit. You make your way to the walls above the gate, and peer over the edge to see none other than Vanessa, your lovely daughter come home from university. She's graduated now, with her degree in Magical Engineering, and has agreed to intern as your secretary until you are up and running and she can find somewhere more established to hire her. The thought of working on evil with your little girl makes your dark heart flutter. It doesn't seem as though she's noticed you yet, as she merely checks her manicured nails and sighs.>"Who dares disturb me!?">"Begone, ye trespasser, or suffer the wrath of this castle's Dark Lord!">"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!">Other
>>45397087>>"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"This is a neat ideaI like tihs idea
>>45397087>Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!">Who's my evil little succubus? Who's my evil little succubus? Yes you are! Yes you are you bad, bad girl!
>>45397087>"Vanessa, sweetie! Daddy's up here!"
>>45397150Ha, I'm backing this.
>>45397150Don't forget the cheek pinching
>>45397206Although it is tempting, it's probably a poor idea to compare our intellectually-minded daughter to a literal sex demon.She might not take kindly to that.
>>45397267Well, what overwhelmingly female non-semen demon could we compare her to?
>>45397286Can't we just.. call her a demoness?
>>45397145>>45397150>>45397161You call down to Vanessa, waving happily. She peers up, somewhat confused, but quickly you see a smile slice across her face like a dagger's path. In a few moments, you meet her at the gates."Daddy! I missed you!" Vanessa runs and leaps high to hang off of your neck and give you a hug. You wrap your steel clad arms around her in return, squeezing just gently enough that her spine doesn't crack. After swinging her around two or three times, you set her back down and pick up her bags. The two of you head inside and chat a little as you head back toward the kitchen."Ugh, the last few days have been the worst. I had to go to a million functions for graduates, and then I had to say goodbye to all my sisters at the sorority. Have you ever heard a Banshee cry? It's so sad, daddy."Banshees, ha! You still regret not making her go to your alma mater, the most prestigious school in the Shadowlands, but she insisted on a school closer to home so she could visit for the holidays. As Vanessa chatters on, you fondly remember her as a young demon. Her mother was a Hellish Queen of pain, and you were still working under your previous boss, a Necromancer of great renown in the evil community. It was only last year you resigned from the position of Chief of Torture, and were given this castle as your severance for a hundred years of loyal service. Vanessa herself was half-succubus as a result of her heritage, but she had no taste for mortal men, at least as far as you knew.The two of you reach the kitchen and chat a little longer before Vanessa reminds you that before any evil can be done, you must first have minions. Turning to your Evil Rolodex, you flip through a few business cards.>Message the local Necromancer>Put up a bill on the signboard in town>Put up a bill in the Underground>Call an old acquaintance in hell>Hear an explanation of each>Other
>>45397371>>Hear an explanation of eachGotta know more details before we can choose, although i'm leaning towards >Call an old acquaintance in hellIf it's an old friend, then it's someone that could probably be more reliable and trustworthy than just some random guy we pick off the street
>>45397371>OtherPut an add on the evil equivalent of Craigslist, also known as Craigslist.
>>45397434Undead are shambling husks of mortal dead, and are quite unintelligent, though they do grow smarter the longer they are active. It takes hundreds of years for one to become wizened enough to be a real threat, however, and in the meantime they make excellent disposable troops. Necromancers on the other hand are notoriously egotistical and hard to work with.Local hires have the advantage of being smart enough to do basic math, but they will require compensation individually, and are fickleDenizens of the dark below are often quite devious and lethal, but again will need to be paid, and are known to backstabDemons are loyal to the end, but are very high maintenance and one of them may try to put the moves on Vanessa if you aren't watchfulCraigslist is an option, but you'll get some creeps>Undead>Locals>"Locals">Demons>Internet users>Other
>>45397741>>Internet usersor>>DemonsMake sure to interview each potential recruit personallyBonus points if they're gay and won't hit on our daughterMake it very clear that if any even look at her in a way that we don't like, we'll make a very painful example out of them.
>>45397741>Craigslist is an option, but you'll get some creepsBut that's what we're looking for, isn't it?
>>45397825>>45397917You perform a short sending, calling out to all lurkers of the deep web. In less than fifteen minutes, you have thirty minions lined up outside the fortress, each more hideous and disfigured than the last, and almost all carrying their own weapons. You have Vanessa create them some simple armor, and put them to work getting things ready for the first evil operation.After ordering the deviants to work, Vanessa approaches, baring her best "please, daddy" pout. You already feel uneasy."So, Daddy, I was just wondering since you need useful people and all, if one of my friends from school could have a job? He's really hard working, and I promise he'll do a good job!" Vanessa leans on you, looking up with wide eyes. >"No, no boyfriends.">"Fine, but it's an internship.">Other
>>45397917Is this Overlord Quest? Because I can hang with that.
>>45398003>>"Fine, but it's an internship."No kissing, inappropriate touching, no being within 15 feet of each other.
>>45398003>"Fine, but it's an internship."Can we get a bunch of undead in addition to the minions we already have?
>>45398003>"Fine, but it's an internship."An unpaid internship. He should consider himself lucky, given how tight the job market is nowadays.>>45398053Depends on how spooky we're willing to make this.
>>45398077>>45398138You agree, but set some stern ground rules. Vanessa seems delighted."Thank you, daddy! I promise he'll be helpful!" Vanessa plants a kiss on your helmeted cheek and runs off to perform a sending. This leaves you with little to do for the time being, as the minions clean the keep and ready themselves for their first task.>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered>Have Vanessa teach them basic magic>Contact a Necromancer for more troops, at the cost of leaving Vanessa alone with the minions and potentially a strange boy>Other
>>45398311>Contact a Necromancer for more troops, at the cost of leaving Vanessa alone with the minions and potentially a strange boyLet's leave our daughter alone with the shady craigslist creeps, what's the worst that could happen?
>>45398311>Train the minions in combat, an art you have mastered
>>45398311>>Train the minions in combat, an art you have masteredAs much as I'd like more troops, I wouldn't want to leave our daughter alone with a room full of creeps we met on craigslist, and a boy from her college. That's just ASKING for a bad time.
>>45398311>>Train the minions in combat, an art you have masteredAnd make sure to show off our moves in front of our daughter's "friend".So he knows what kind of ass whooping to expect if he gets too friendly with our little girl.
>>45398354>>45398373You begin whipping the minions into shape, although for some that's much harder than others. Though they are resistant to any hard work, with a liberal application of motivational speeches and mindbreaking pain, you turn them into a decent fighting force. At the very least, they might be able to take a few arrows before bleeding to death.About a month or so after beginning the minion's training, Vanessa informs you that her friend from university has arrived.>Greet him at the door>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord>Ignore him, have him start by scouting the area for potential targets>Other
>>45398463>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lordHave him bring his resume too.
>>45398463>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lordFirst impression need to be the best
>>45398463>Greet him at the door
>>45398463>Greet him at the doorintimidatingly
>>45398463>>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lordAssert our dominanceLet him know who's boss
>>45398463>Ignore him, have him start by scouting the area for potential targetsbut also send a minion to keep an eye on him, either in secret or as help. Let's get more info on him before first impression time, and give him the feeling that he has to work to be considered worth the time of this beautiful little fallen angel's father
>>45397371>Message the local necromancerThe undead will work without dental coverage
>Demand he come and pay homage to his new lord
>>45398488>>45398492"I am beside you, my dark master!" You are startled by this sudden exclamation, and jolt aside before looking down to see a young man dressed in black leather armor and a hood kneeling in a frankly beautiful two point grovel. His head hangs low, and you can see the weapon on his back. It's quite a fine piece, that you suspect was his graduation gift."My lord! I am humbled to serve as your left hand, baring steel against those who would deny your dark will!" He slams his closed fist against his chest needlessly hard. You look over your shoulder and see that Vanessa is smiling. You suppose you should do something with the boy.>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A>Have him battle a minion to test his strength>Tell him to stop being so predictable>Other
>>45398311>OtherHave Vanessa teach them basic magic while you oil up your staff of baleful polymorph and wait on her "friend" to visit
>>45398614>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A
>>45398614>>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A>Tell him to stop being so predictable
>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room AGotta make some plans
>>45398639>>45398659You wrap your caper around the both of you and teleport to the conference room. There you sit across from him at a large wooden table, and ask him to remove his hood. His hair is blonde as a field of wheat, to your slight surprise.On the table before you is a plate of donuts, and the boy's resume. You enjoy a bear claw as you peruse his qualifications.He is Duncan "Donut" SteelHis Major was Evil Espionage, with a focus on Interrogational TortureHe has no references, which explains why Vanessa had to ask you to employ himDespite his attitude, his transcripts seem to be quite good, especially his scores on the mental fortitude exams, which you yourself did quite well onYou also notice he was a member of the swim team, and competitive assassination team during his time at schoolYou tilt your eyes up to see him staring at you, cheeks slightly flush. You straighten the stack of papers and set them aside.>"Let's rap. Tell me about you, Duncan.">"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me.">Remain silent. Try to break him.>Other
>>45398614>Hold an interview in the dark dimension of Conference Room A>and turn his ass into a rabbit
>>45398908>Remain SilentALWAYS LET THEM SPEAK FIRST
>>45398908>Remain silent. Try to break him.
>>45398908If we choose>Let's rap.Will the interview be conducted in the manner of an evil rap-off?If yes, I choose that.
>>45398908>"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me."We are an evil overlord, are we not?
>>45398908>Let's rap. Tell me about you, Duncan."And by "rap" we mean freestyle. We can even provide him with a sick beat if needed.
>>45398908>>Remain silent. Try to break him.This always works. Always.
>>45398908>"Give me one good reason I shouldn't flay you and hang your skin above my gates as a warning to those who would dare defy me."We have no intention of doing so, of course, we just want him to tell us in his own words what he's good for. But don't let him know that.
>>45399018>>45398938>>45398951You fold your hands and stare him down. To your surprise, he lasts quite a while, without so much as breaking the line of sight between the two of you. Like all the others though, he does break."S-sir, I just want to say that it's an honor to work under you. I've followed your career as Chief of Torture under the sorcerer Vald, and I've tried to model myself after you in my own way." He looks away, toward the plate of donuts while he speaks.>Remain silent>Thank him for the compliment (menacingly)>Smash the table and call him a liar>Other
>>45399108>>Remain silentLet's see how much we can get from him using this. They always reveal the juiciest things when doing this.
>>45399108>Remain silentLet's see how long we can keep this going.
>>45399108>Thank him for the compliment (menacingly)
Will this a recurring Quest or is it for just today,because this looks pretty cool and i want to see it through to the end.
>>45399108>"No one likes a kiss ass, Duncan."
>>45399161>>45399171You say nothing, and do not move. Now he's shaking. you can see his hands shivering as he tries to find something else to say, and his eyes wander everywhere for anything to bring up.Finally he stands, face red as a sunset sky, and speaks."S-Sir! I understand now that you are far too clever for me to continue hiding my secret. You must have seen through me the moment I came into your training hall. The truth is...the truth is..." He pauses, clenching his fists and and gritting his teeth. You do not move."The truth is I lied! I told your daughter I was interested in her to get her to ask you to hire me on but it's not true! I love men! Big, masculine men! I mean no disrespect to your daughter, she's a lovely woman and any man would be lucky to have her but I can't continue with this charade! Please forgive my insolence, and I will serve you without question until the end of my days on this earth!" With that, Duncan bows deeply, still shaking from his confession.>"Was that so hard?">"You're hired.">Remain silent>Other
>>45399281If people want more after today I'll do more
>>45399372>"You're hired.">The next day one of our shirts go missing.
>>45399372>"You're hired."He's going to hurt our daughter, but I'll be damned if I don't admire a man this devilish.
>>45399372>>Remain silentSurely there must be more.
>>45399394I'm loving this so far, and it's a really fun concept. I do hope you keep going, I'm sure everyone else feels the same way too.
>>45399372>>Remain silentWhat if he's lying about lyingWe must know the truth
>>45399512I, for one, agree with you. OP should set up a twitter account and arranged one or more fixed days per week to run this, IMHO.
>>45399468>>45399494>>45399566You fold your arms, and say nothing. This time the two of you sit across from one another in complete silence. You say nothing, and hold still as stone. Then, after an hour, you fall asleep.You awake in a small puddle of drool some time later, with a soft blanket over your shoulders and a sticky note on the table in front of you. As you wipe your mouth, you unfold the note and read it quietly."Dear Daddy, I sent Duncan out to check the area for targets. He was half starved and blushing red when I found him! I don't think you made a great first impression." The corner bares a kiss mark and a heart drawn in red pen. You feel a bit ashamed.After gathering yourself, you head down to the kitchen to grab a bite to eat. You settle on a ham sandwich, but as you enjoy your meal you are interrupted by a puff of black smoke, which billows away to reveal Duncan in full regalia."Er, ahem. Sir. I've finished scouting, and have picked three soft targets to choose for our grand opening. Please consider them." Duncan hands you three index cards which you flip through as you eat.>A small fishing village, home to a local hero>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men>A trade caravan, hauling gold and other valuables, but likely guarded by adventurers>Other
>>45399785I know this isn't a good choice, but it's just too hilarious
>>45399759>>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the menFood is the most important.
>>45399759I'm resignedly going to support saying Nothing.We've come too far, now.
>>45399759>>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
This is going to backfire, I can just feel it. But goddammit it will be funny.
>>45399759>A farm. Not much fame in it, but it'll feed the men
>>45399394Please do more i am about to go to work and really enjoyed the concept.
>>45399785You silently read the cards, then set them on the counter before returning to your sandwich. Once you finish, you wipe your mouth and leave the room, having given Duncan no response, and leaving him standing alone in the kitchen.You find Vanessa in your office, sitting behind your desk as she flips through some ledgers, making notes of the accounts she'll have to keep track of from now on. When you enter, she peers up and smiles."Good morning, daddy. Did you sleep well? Duncan was half starved alone in that room with nobody to let him out, you know.">"Good, the real world is tough.">"He's fine. We've got our first client.">"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime.">Other
>>45400043>>"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."
>>45400043>"He's fine. We've got our first client."We just pretend everything is completely normal. We have a healthy working relationship with duncan.
>>45400043>>"Good, the real world is tough.">"He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime."I feel like we should be nice to him eventually, else he might stab us in the back or something.
>>45400043>He's gay, child. Gay as a bard in springtime.">"A fag, a fruitcake, a flamer, a backdoor bandit, a prancing lala homoman"
>>45400043>starved in such a short amount of time"WEAKNESS!"A good minion should be able to go without eating for much longer than one nap!
>>45400043>"He's fine. We've got our first client."
>>45397087ok, this is pretty greatplease continue
>>45400043>"He's fine. We've got our first client."Let's play it cool, no need to dash her hopes.
>>45400068>>45400081"Duh, daddy. He's on the swim team? He dyes his hair blond? He collects playbills from local musical theater groups? We only dated because I needed arm candy for school functions, or else I'd get teased by the other girls in my sisterhood." Vanessa stands and makes her way over to you, giving you a light punch in the arm. "I'm not stupid, daddy. Besides, when I did try to sleep with him he kept telling me he wanted to wait until marriage. Only two people wait daddy, queers and Paladins, and I don't see any holy symbols on him."Vanessa is cunning as she is beautiful, just like her mother. Then again, maybe she's a bit too much like her mother.>Raid the farm>Raid the village>Raid the caravan>Other
>>45400177I like the daughterlets go with raiding the farm, build up the larder, work up to caravans in due time
>>45400177>Raid the farm
>>45400177>>Raid the farmWe must feed the troops! And also Duncan that poor child.
>>45400177>>Raid the farm
>>45400177>Besides, when I did try to sleep with himChastise her. Just because her mother was a succubus doesn't mean she can go around acting like some hussy. What would our enemies think if they knew our daughter was easy?Oh, and go for the farm I guess
>>45400202You gather the minions as well as Vanessa and Duncan and meet in the foyer for the first operation. The men are nervous, but your daughter and her gay boyfriend seem sturdy as stone. Likely they've had experience dealing with a little peasant resistance before.Vanessa encourages you to give the minions a little pep talk before they go into it, and so you clear your throat and speak clearly.>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!">"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back.">"Before we go, I'd like to quote my former mentor, the sorcerer Vald." Tail off. Crumble up notes. Ad lib>Other
>>45400342>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."An evil overlord needs something to lord over. After the battle get to work on a fortified location for our men to stay to enforce our rule over the town without getting killed in their sleep or overrun.
>>45400342>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"tear the copper out of the walls if we have toalso, addendum, take the fieldhands and farmers alive if you can, cheap labor to work on our grounds, we need shaped bushes....for evil purposes
>>45400342>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"Time to send a message to the world!
>>45400342>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."If they die then taht's less food for us to plunder later.
>>45400342>Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"We can use undead farmers, right? Farming should be simple enough for even them.
>>45400342>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."We need them alive so they can spread the word about us. It'll be hard for us to become a well known beg if we kill everyone who knows about us.
>>45400494> It'll be hard for us to become a well known beg if we kill everyone who knows about us.>"Have you heard about that farm village that got wiped out? They say a new evil guy has shown up in the area"Killing everyone will still send a message.
>>45400342>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>>45400342>>"Take anything not nailed down and leave no survivors!"
>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."
>>45400342>Other>CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES>SEE THEM FLEE BEFORE YOU>AND HEAR THE LAMENTATIONS OF THE WOMEN
>>45400342>>"Leave the farmers and fieldhands, just take the food and put down anyone who fights back."Maybe we can make them deliver us steady offerings of food and money in exchange for keeping them alive
>>45400613The men salute, and you have Vanessa teleport all of you to the farm a few miles away.When you arrive, you are atop a small hill a ways away from the farmhouse and bunks. Total, there are probably a dozen hands and a family that own the land. They should put up much of a fight.>Send the minions alone>Send Vanessa>Send Duncan>Send everyone>Other
>>45400660>Send Duncanif he performs well start to speak to him
>>45400660Send everyone. No reason not to, it minimizes casualties amongst our minions, and it lets the leaders show off to establish authority.
>>45400660>Send everyone!If you've got overwhelmingly superior forces, why not make use of them?
>>45400691No way, it is far too early.Perhaps a single, firm "adequate" without even looking at him before walking away and resuming silence
>>45400660>Send the minions aloneLet's see what they're worth. And if a few die, that just means less people to pay.>>45400691>Speaking to Duncan>EverNigga you just went full retard
>>45400691This, but don't speak to him after.Just give a slight nod of possible approval.We work our way towards talking to him.
>>45400660>send everyone, time for a nice bit of teamwork
>>45400691I like this idea.
>>45400743You send Duncan with the minions, and they charge blindly into the field of grain with weapons ready. You and Vanessa sit back and watch as they meet with the workers, herding them back toward the farmhouse in fear. It's a bit hard to see from this distance, but there does seem to be a bit of a scuffle, but in a few minutes things die down. You wait patiently as the minions gather up what they can carry, and grin when you see them returning with a full cart and sacks slung over their shoulders.Duncan reports in, bowing before you as he drags behind him two bloody corpses."Sir, we lost two men to the farmer's daughter. She attacked us with a hunting bow, but her skill was less than a match for a trained fighter such as myself. I did not harm her overly much, and her parents swear their loyalty if we spare her."You look over the haul. It'll last months if you ration it properly, which you should. There doesn't appear to be much money, but that will come in time.>Take what you have and leave>Speak to the farmer>Other
>>45400876>Speak to the farmerWe lost TWO whole guys out there. How does he plan to repay us?
>>45400876Spare the girl but bring her with us as hostage for the family's continued loyalty.
>>45400934>>Speak to the farmerThis.Give Duncan that slight nod that he deserves before we go.
>>45400876>Other>"We expect funeral expenses to be paid. I hope you have a good lawyer, because I smell a wrongful death lawsuit cookin here."
>>45400876>Speak to the farmer'your daughter has skill, she will be safe, I will be taking her into my employ. She will learn skills and be spared, as long as we have your loyalty.'demand the farmers replant and sow, from now on we'll be taking a tithe as tax for our protection
>>45400876>otherAsk the farmer's daughter if she has ever considered the myriad career opportunities a life of evil would bring?
>>45400876>Duncan lost two men to a farm girlMEDIOCRE!
>>45400956>wrongful deathI can already see it playing out>"Your honor, the defense maintains that the farm provoked their employees."
>>45400977thisand don't forget the nod
>>45401053I agreeThe nod is important.If we just flat out ignore him then he might be disheartened and we' risk losing his loyalty.
>>45400953changing my vote to >>45400977We need more talented people. Have Duncan watch her though, in case of potential back stabbery.
>>45401053>>45400977>>45400958You look down at Duncan and give him a nod of mild approval before leading Vanessa back to the farmhouse. As you go, Duncan works to reorganize the men remaining.You walk past the workers, kneeling pitifully in the dirt, and catch them glancing at Vanessa. Neither of you acknowledge the eyes of dirt dwellers, and continue into the house proper. Inside, the family sits huddled together in the parlor. The girl Duncan spoke of is at the center, with a bit of dry blood below her nose and an eye swollen from a harsh blow to the face. Her mother, or so you presume, hugs her tight in one arm, and has a younger boy in the other. The farmer, an older man with greying hair and a strong build, sits before the three of them, blocking you from getting at them directly. He has the courage to speak before you do."We gave you what you wanted, just take it and go, please." The woman begins to sob, as does the young boy. The girl on the other hand seems to be full of hate and bile. It's amusing, at least. You approach them, watching them cringe away from you.>Backhand the old man and take the girl>Hand the girl your business card>Offer a handshake>Other
>>45401199>Hand the girl your business cardHere at Evil Inc. we strive to improve our consumer relations.
>>45401199>Hand the girl your business cardlet's keep things professional
>>45401199>Hand the girl your business card'Your daughter has promising ability, because of this, I will not be butchering you all for killing two of my men. Your daughter will be coming into my employ, and you will be supplying me a tithe every harvest. For my protection.'we mob bosses now
>>45401199>>Hand the girl your business card
>>45401199>>Offer a handshakethen>Hand the girl your business card
>>45401199>Hand the girl your business card
>>45401199>OtherWhat about we backhand the girl and take the old man?
>>45401229>>45401255You reach into the pocket on your suit of steel armor and produce a business card, black of course, and hand it to the girl. She hesitates, but takes it. You tell her that if she's interested in a starting position, to come to your fortress. She says nothing, but you can sense the hate in her eyes give way for something else, if only for a moment.With that done, you inform the farmer that his land is now your property, and he'll be offering a tax to you every month, or he'll have nothing to harvest. Before he can respond, you turn on your heel and lead Vanessa out the front door and back to the minions. When you return to the fortress, Duncan asks what you'd like done about the dead minions.>Burn them>Bury them>Put them away for later use>Other
>>45401443>>Put them away for later useWe might get a Necromancer at some point.Waste not want not.
>>45401443>Necromance the fuck out of them.
>>45401443>Put them away for later useWe need to study necromancy so we can have a skellington army. They don't eat and spook the enemy: cheaper AND more effective.
>>45401443>>Put them away for later use
>>45401443>Put them away for later use
>>45401443>Burn themNecroing your own minions is just in bad taste.We are respectable evil lords,
>>45401443>Bury themTreat the minions well, and you get respect. We will follow the evil overlord rules. We are at least that savvy.
>>45401443>Put them away for later useWe don't waste, necromancy is an eco friendly solution for dead minions
>>45401524This sounds good, actually.Changing my vote fromput them away.
>>45401509You have the others drain them of blood and put them somewhere they won't stick up the entire castle, and then tell them to attend the review meeting.Some two hours later, you all gather in the presentation room. Vanessa gives a very well thought out powerpoint on where things went wrong, and what can be improved in the future. After, she asks you to say a few words. You stand, and make a brief statement.>Encourage the minions>Chastise them for being sloppy>A silent thumbs up, nothing more>Other
>>45401593>>Encourage the minions
>>45401593>A silent thumbs up, nothing morecan't stop now
>>45401593>A silent thumbs up, nothing moreIf we're going the silent route, we might as well go all the way with it.
>>45401593>>A silent thumbs up, nothing more
>>45401614>>45401615Isn't that only wtih Duncan?
>>45401614>>45401615You give them a silent sign of approval, and they nod in return. With that, you call the meeting over, and everyone is given free time. You yourself decide to unwind after a long day.>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy>Get in a workout>Go into town>Other
>>45401668>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandyA good relaxing moment where surely nobody would disturb us.
>>45401668>>Get in a workoutGet fit, can't quite.
>>45401593>Encourage the minionsyou want loyal minions who like you, less likely to stab you in the backtell them that the fallen gave their lives for you all, the best teamworkthey wont be forgotten
>>45401668>>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandywe classy beg
>>45401668>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy
>>45401668>Go into townHow about we convince the populace that there's a disturbing lack of evil in town and start a revolt, in our favor?Also, what race are we? We eat and we have a (troubled) heart, so we're not a skellington at least. Just some nondescript demon?
>>45401668>Go into town.Carpe diem testiculum!
>>45401668>Enjoy a good book with a glass of brandy. What if our daughter is ALSO gay? Make the Farm Girl her new Evil love interest.
>>45401705You don your smoking jacket of evil and slippers of evil before settling into your armchair of evil, located in your study of evil. You crack open a journal written by an explorer of world renown, sipping from your glass between page flips. You continue reading for a while, before you notice a faint ringing sound in your head. It's quite familiar, and you close the book on your thumb to look around the room.Across from you, a magical rift opens, just big enough to allow a scroll to pass through before closing. You set the book aside and stand, moving over to inspect the scroll, which appears to be a message. You unfurl it and read."To whom it may concern, you have conducted unlawfully evil business without a proper zoning permit as of the day of this letter's writing. Please refrain from future offenses until you have filed the proper paperwork, available at any public works building in the greater area."It seems the bureaucrats have come for their slice of the pie. >Go down yourself>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty>Send Duncan, just to know he won't enjoy it>Other
>>45401913>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
>>45401913>Send Vanessa, it's her specialtyIt is her job, so let's give her some experience in it.
>>45401913>OtherSend back the most concise and respectfully worded rebuttal you can think of"Get fucked"Then continue reading
>>45401913>>Send Vanessa, it's her specialty
>>45401913>Send Vanessa, it's her specialtyBut if someone dares to look remotely funny to her we rise hell and destroy them
>>45401913>Send Vannessa, it's her speciality. >>45401905I like this idea anon.
>>45401962You summon Vanessa, and order her to act as your right hand in all matters legal and boring. She agrees reluctantly, and uses her latent demonic power to open a portal to the fourth ring of hell, also known as the ring of red tape and rubber stamps. As she passes through, you wish her luck.That done, you're without her for the next few days while she waits in the queues of the damned. You turn in for tonight, and think on what to do next.>Continue operations as normal>Wait for her to get back before moving forward>Other
>>45402116>Wait for her to get back before moving forward
>>45402116>>OtherTrain the men. Make it so no one dies the next battle.
>>45402116>Continue operations as normalAttack more farms in the area. If people figure out we're targeting them, some might pay protection money pre-emptively! Getting money without doing anything for it, how neat is that?Oh, and tell a minion to inform Duncan for us. We're still not talking to him.
>>45402116>Wait for her to get back before moving forward. Don't want the Evil Police after us. >>45401905I too, like this idea.
>>45402116>Otherfortify the castle, train the minions, upgrade the ground defenses/offenses
>>45402177but if we go before we finish our law business, we'll be targetted by evil police, or fined.We can't really afford that trouble when we're still just an up and coming beg.
>>45401905She did try to sleep with a dude.
>>45402116>OtherTrain the minions and prepare some sort of gift for our daughter, her favourite food or similar, for enduring the hell that is bureocracy.
>>45402116Have we any sort of mystic mumbo jumbo spells we can do ourselves?
>>45402196>>45402174You cease normal operations for a while in favor of strengthening the forces you have left. Duncan is quite good in a fight, but the minions need a lot more work before they're ready to take on adventurers in single combat. You teach them the basics, as well as continue conditioning, and after a week of hard work they seem to be improving, especially with a more attainable example to strive for in Duncan.Vanessa finally returns, singed by the brimstone and nude as her name day, refusing to so much as speak before cleaning up. After she does, and changes into a clean suit, she hands you the paperwork. It takes the form of a three decimeter thick stack of forms, all highlighted, tabbed and signed. Even you can't begin to fathom the eldritch language that is legal speak, but so long as it's done you're free to continue your operations.Duncan reports in soon, informing you that the girl from the farm seems to be approaching on the main road, alone. He doesn't suspect any foul play, but he advises caution either way.>Let her come>Capture her and bring her in for a talk>Go to her directly>Other
>>45402430>>Let her come
>>45402430>Let her comeWe are a businessman here, so lets act like one.
>>45402430>>Let her comeWe are professionals
>>45402430>Let her comeand have the gates open ominiously when she gets to themwhen she passes through the gates, have her directly teleported to your parade groundwhere you are practicing, a nice show of forceif she is a trap, have the minions ready to rebuff invaders
>>45402430>Let her comeIf she wants to come, she can come.
>>45402430>Go to her directly
>>45402430>Let her come
>>45402430>Capture her and bring her in for a talkLet's give her the silent treatment, that seems to work out for us.
>>45402565I don't think it'll work on everyoneAfter all she might still hate us
>>45402597>>45402565Also pretty sure we already talked to her.
>>45402463You tell Duncan to wait patiently. He understands, and continues his reconnaissance. You continue training the men for a day and a half, when the girl finally arrives at the gates. It's time to greet her.>Welcome her warmly>Go spooky>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room>Other
>>45402654>You tell her that if she's interested in a starting position, to come to your fortressLooks like we did not.
>>45402676>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference roomWe're professional goddammit!
>>45402676>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference roomImportant business needs a proper setting
>>45402676>>Welcome her warmlyWe have to win her over, she's probably unsure about us
>>45402676>>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room
>>45402676>>45402697thisbe polite and courteous to a falt, but dont take any shitbe in the conference room when she arrives
>>45402676>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference roomProfessionality.
>>45402676>Go spooky>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference roomPrepare a spoopy welcome in the conference room
>>45402676>Send Vanessa to escort her to the conference room. >Welcome her warmly
i was sorta hoping this would be like Overlord The game.Good luck OP
>>45402697You tell Vanessa to meet you, and head to the conference room to set things up. You even prepare the intimidation donuts, always an icebreaker.When Vanessa arrives with the girl in tow, you're impressed at her sheer poise. The girl isn't dressed much differently than the day you left her, but is wearing a leather that would provide protection from animal bites and potential attackers on the road. Her hair is cut and tied, and the very bow she used to kill two of your men is slung over her back, with a decent number of arrows. You motion for her to sit, and she does, never taking her eyes from you, or ceasing to scowl.>Offer her a donut>Ask her why she's here>Remain silent>Other
>>45402865>Offer her a donut
>>45402865>Offer her a donut>Remain silentgesture at the donuts, but remain silent, take a donut yourself and eat onebearclaw seems a popular evil choice
>>45402865>Offer her a donutShe already knows we talk.
>>45402926This, silent treatment won't work anymore
>>45402865>offer her a donut. It's the polite thing to do.
>>45402865>Give her the D(onut)
>>45402865>Remain silentWhat else?>>45402926>>45402940It's just a negotiation technique, bruh.
>>45402865>offer a donut
>>45402926You slide the plate toward her and offer her her choice. She doesn't even hesitate to reach out and grab an eclair, taking a greedy bite and chewing loudly. Again, she doesn't move her eyes from you. Vanessa seems slightly annoyed by this attitude."I think you're being a little rude to someone who kept you from being killed and invited you into his home." She remarks, but the girl is not phased.>"Indeed. I'm rethinking the arrangement I've made with your family, if this is the extent of their gratitude.">"Now now, be patient Vanessa.">Other
>>45403044>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."Farmers gonna farm.
>>45403044>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."
>>45403044>Take a donut yourself, enjoy it, don't say anything.
>>45403044>>Othersilence is the only way to go
>>45403044>Othercontinue chewing the doughnut, gesture for vanessa to sit and eat onecontinue to stare at the girl
>>45403044SAY IT LOUDSAY IT PROUDSAY. NOTHING.
>>45403044>OtherBe silent and wait for her to finish eating donuts
>>45403115This anon has the right ideaMaybe tell Vanessa to fetch more eclairs?
>>45403044>>"Now now, be patient Vanessa."Let's make Daddy's little girl jealous.
>>45403068You tell Vanessa to calm down and have a seat as well. She does, though haughtily. The farm girls finishes her snack, licks her fingers, then reaches for a jelly filled knot and continues munching. Her appetite is admirable at least. The girl nearly finishes the entire plate before finally growing satisfied, and settling back in her seat. Neither of you looked away the entire time, and you're beginning to wonder if the girl isn't some sort of monster herself. You think of what to say to open discussion, but it is in fact Vanessa who begins."What's your name, you little brat!?" she shouts, slamming her hands on the table as she rises from her chair."Marigold." Her face remains stoic."Sounds like the name of a common town whore. I'm guessing your mother as bought for the price of a pig?" Vanessa's smile creeps out, and she seems to take delight in mocking your guest."No," responds Marigold. Her voice is soft, and a bit quiet."Hmph. Well if you're going to continue eating my father's food, the least you can do is thank him for his hospitality. After all, I could have killed you a thousand times over if he wasn't holding me back." Vanessa crosses her arms and waits for Marigold's reply. The farm girl wrinkles her brow."Thank you," are the only two words that escape her mouth. Vanessa isn't thrilled about that.>Stop Vanessa>Allow it>Other
>>45403321>Allow it>Still say nothingLet it escalate. She'll learn her place.
>>45403321>OtherAsk Marigold why she has come
>>45403321>Other'So Marigold, have you decided upon entering my employ? The benefits are many.'
>>45403321>>Stop Vanessa Going to drive our employee away before she even begins if she keeps this up
>>45403321>Allow it>>45403392Including more donuts and dental for people with names.
>>45403321>Stop Vanessa>say nothing>lay hand across her chest to hold her back>and by that I mean on her breast
>>45403392"We have great dental plan."
>>45403461As long as you arent a faceless goon. We arent made of money.
>>45403321>>Stop Vanessa But do it silentlyLike raise your hand to signal her to stop or something
>>45403390You tell Vanessa to cease, and she does, though she seems to have shifted her anger at you a bit. You keep your eye on Marigold, and ask her to tell you why she's come all the way here. She doesn't speak for a moment, but does relax soon."You said you'd give me a job. I don't want to be a farmer." Simple enough, you think. Many are the same. Vanessa tries to speak up again, but you raise a hand to stop her before she begins, which seems to offend her enough to cause her to teleport out of the room, probably to thrash the minions for a while. When she leaves, however, you notice Marigold lose a great deal of tension.You tell her about the benefits of working for you, including but not limited to the health plan, salary, lodgings, executive washroom, and costume privileges. She doesn't really seem interested in any of them overmuch."I'll work here," she says, still glaring at you. "But I want the money to go to my family.">Deal>No deal>Other
>>454037222 month unpaid trial period in accordance to the law, 75% of minimum wage, no renegotiation
>>45403722>>DealIts her money, she can waste it however she wants.
>>45403722>DealThey will probably spend most of it on farm stuff to supply us anyway.
>>45403722>DealWhy the fuck not. It's her money.
>>45403722>DealWith the extra money they can farm better, and in turn pay us more taxes, so it's a win-win.
>>45403722>Other'your standard wage will be reduced by your expensses, which in turn with reduce your families tithe requirements as long as you are loyal, but they must still fulfill all other requirements;
>>45403722>>DealIts her money, we have no reason to refuse
>>45403722>Other Enquire about what they might spend it on. Concerned that they might use the money to hire heroes to take the farm back from us
>>45403818>>45403853You agree, and shake to confirm the deal. The two of you go to introduce her to the other minions, who are still hard at work training, although you can see the fear of Vanessa's presence still alive in their eyes. You push Marigold forward, and the other minions greet her. She says nothing, only eyeballs them and furrows her brow.>Encourage her to train with them>Send her to work with Vanessa>Have her assist Duncan>Other
>>45404104Ask for a demonstration of her skills.Get a first hand observation of her skills, and see if she's just that good to kill two of your men, or if they are just that shit.
>>45404104>Send her to work with VanessaShe has to earn her place, no point in making things too easy.
>>45404104>Send her to work with VanessaVanessa is already suspicious of her, she'll keep a good eye on the newbie. On top of that Vanessa is our daughter, the one person we can trust.
>>45404104>Send her to work with Vanessa
>>45404184We got them off of craigslist, what do you think?
>>45404104>>Encourage her to train with themAll these people voting for VanessaIt's like you just want a fight to break out
>>45404104encourage her to train with them
>>45404187You tell her to find Vanessa and begin her first assignment. She nods, and turns to go, but you notice her eyes linger on the minions as they spar together in the training room. With that, she vanishes through the doorway. You turn to Duncan."My lord, the minions are improving at a steady rate, but it may be time to consider the possibility of outside threats. Now that we're known, people will seek to strike back at us sooner or later. I advise establishing a spy network nearby. Even a single ear to the ground will aid us." You consider the thought. Having someone in town to keep you informed would be handy. But you risk them betraying you at this early and vulnerable stage.>Send Duncan to find a good spy>Refuse for now>Other
>>45404348>Send Duncan to find a good spyand time for us to get some capitalwe need moneyfor more minions and more weapons
>>45404348>Send Duncan to find a good spyOnly give him an approving nod though. No words.
>>45404348>Send Duncan to find a good spyNod
>>45404348>send DuncanHe took a degree in espionage, probably the best choice for recruiting spies.
>>45404348>but you notice her eyes linger on the minions as they spar together in the training roomShould have had her train>>Send Duncan to find a good spyNod of approval
>>45404348>>Send Duncan to find a good spy
>>45404417>>45404429You nod, and he vanishes in an instant to do your bidding. He doesn't return for two days, but assures you he'd found the perfect accomplice upon his arrival, and you decide it's time to begin another operation.The minions gather, as do your three subordinates. Duncan presents you with some potential targets.>The same trade caravan, going the other way now>A few more farms in the area, to reinforce your control>A nearby town, home to several potentially dangerous warriors>Other
>>45404593>>A few more farms in the area, to reinforce your control
>>45404593>The same trade caravan, going the other way nowEither they'll be spent from the long journey, or at least less on guard.
>>45404593>Trade caravan. We need to start getting the big bucks.
>>45404593>A few more farms in the area, to reinforce your controlwe will be the protection racket in this district, then we can start charging tolls for caravans coming through
>>45404593>The same trade caravan, going the other way nowTime to get the lads tested properly.
>>45404593>OtherAttack the caravan, but make sure Marigold doesn't come along. We haven't seen her fight firsthand, and she may be friends with the local farmers.
>>45404593>A few more farms in the area, to reinforce your controlWe feudal now
>>45404593>The same trade caravan, going the other way now
>>45404593>>The same trade caravan, going the other way now
>>45404738You ready the minions to attack the caravan. It will likely be guarded, but if you succeed you'll have a wealth of spoils. You motivate them, and consider with lieutenant to bring along.>Duncan, he is loyal and may be able to provide you with subtle sabotage before going in>Vanessa, magic is invaluable when battling the unexpected>Marigold, she is eager to go along, and you don't want the minions to rely on their superiors to succeed>Go alone>Other
>>45404831>>Marigold, she is eager to go along, and you don't want the minions to rely on their superiors to succeedWe must test her
>>45404831>Marigold, she is eager to go along, and you don't want the minions to rely on their superiors to succeedAnd we're going with her, so if she does anything funny we wring her little neck
>>45404831>Vanessa, magic is invaluable when battling the unexpectedWe aren't fighting mud farmers this time, we need our best here.
>>45404831>Vanessa, magic is invaluable when battling the unexpectedand have duncan assess marigold's combat potential
>>45404864This.Keep an eye on her throughout, don't want her dying on us
>>45404831>Marigold>Keep an eye on her.
>>45404831>Marigold, she is eager to go along, and you don't want the minions to rely on their superiors to succeedBabies first caravan looting.
>A trade caravan, hauling gold and other valuables, but likely guarded by adventurers>we lost two men to a single farm girl>you don't want to bring the best we got against people actually trained to fight
>>45404831>Marigold, she is eager to go along, and you don't want the minions to rely on their superiors to succeed
>>45405016We got these dudes from the internet. If we wanted someone good we should have sprung for it.
>>45405060They're just cheap corpses we can get some use out of before we reanimate them.
>>45404864You teleport the entire group to the road a good ways away, and take up position out of sight so as not to reveal your intentions too soon. Marigold, now armored as well as the others, strings her bow and prepares for the worst. You are not concerned with preparations, primarily because you are wearing enchanted armor, but also because you are good enough in melee combat that you killed an ancient death knight and took his suit of enchanted armor. As time passes, you start to see the kicking up of dust from hooves and wagon wheels. When the caravan is finally near enough, you order the minions to scatter and surround the area. As the wagons roll through, you sound the call, and watch them rush in, screaming and waving their spears in the air like common savages. At least it intimidates the drivers, and allows you time to approach. Marigold seems to have stuck close to you, and makes her way toward you with her bow ready to fire as men come tumbling out of the wagons. Several of them are armed, and seem willing to put up a fight if it comes to it.>Order the minions to attack>Order the caravansary to stand down>Charge in yourself and set an example for any would be heroes>Other
>>45405284>Order them to stand downWe do this the right way, damnit
>>45405284>>Charge in yourself and set an example for any would be heroestime to show them why we are the bosscut a scythe through them, and allow the minions to mop up the rest
>>45405284>Order the Caravansary to stand downIf they refuse or Tell us to fuck off>CHARGEEEE!
>>45405284>order the caravansary to stand down.Your money or your life, mortals.
>>45405284>Order them to stand down
>>45405284>>Order the caravansary to stand down
>>45405358>scytheYou mean swath?
>>45405392This, if that doesn't work, i vote we go for>>45405358
>>45405392You signal the minions to hold, and shout at the caravan to throw down their weapons, telling them to choose between their GP or their HP. They consider it, but of course one of them decides to try his luck, and charges you with a steel tipped spear. It won't so much as scratch your breastplate, but you'll admit he's got good form for a moron.>Let him come, show him the futility of his effort, and toss him aside>Strike first, don't give him the honor of hitting you>Order the minions to deal with him>Other
>>45405555>Strike first, don't give him the honor of hitting you
>>45405555>>Strike first, don't give him the honor of hitting youcut him down like wheat
>>45405555>>Let him come, show him the futility of his effort, and toss him asideHumiliate him.
>>45405555>Order the minions to deal with himWe shall not sully our hands with him
>>45405555>Strike first, don't give him the honor of hitting youTry to give his head a trajectory that puts fear into the hearts of the rest of them
>>45405555>strike him downEffortless victory is just as intimidating, with no risk of injury.
>>45405555>Strike first, don't give him the honor of hitting youWe've still got it, and proving it is the only way we stay where we are.Also, it's fun (because we're evil).
>>45405555>>Let him come, show him the futility of his effort, and toss him asideDon't kill him though. If he has potential, maybe he can be recruited too.
>>45405555>Strike First and fast, No mercy for the weak.Self fucking defense.
>>45405590You snap your fingers, and your lance appears within your grasp. You level it, and with a step, a turn, and a mighty thrust, you impale the poor fool on the end of your weapon. His momentum carries him further, until he takes the form of a helpless ragdoll as you use your immense strength to raise the lance as well as his corpse to stand on the butt. As his blood drips down the shaft to your hand, you tell the rest of the caravan to surrender. They do, setting their weapons on the ground for your minions to collect.Out of the corner of your eye you see something move. It is small, and seems to be heading away from the rest of the caravan. You watch it, but the thing is quite nimble, heading for the field of unkempt grass across the road.>Order Marigold to fire>Let it go, word will spread all the sooner>Chase it down>Other
>>45405804>>Order Marigold to fireShe's there for a reason.
>>45405804>Order Marigold to fireLet's not make the classic villain mistake of letting the plucky young hero who will grow into a ferocious fighter that will take us down escape.
>>45405804>>Order Marigold to fire
>>45405804>Marigold take the shot, then go after it.
>>45405804>chase it downNot sure what the fuck this is. Best to exercise caution
>>45405804>order marigold to fireI'm guessing she hunted game on the farm, so she should make this shot. Plus, we can keep our eye on the caravan.
>>45405804>Order Marigold to fireLet's see how good she is
>>45405804>Order Marigold to fire
>>45405839You tell Marigold to shoot it, and she takes aim. Just as it is about to reach the grass, she releases and you watch the arrow travel through the arrow with your keen eyes. It sails true, on a direct course, but is stopped by a very lucky, or perhaps unlucky hand, extended by one of the caravan drivers. It impales the man's palm, sticking out the other side a full foot as he collapses on the ground in pain. Marigold attempts to aim again, but the target is in the grass now, making it difficult. She fires again, but you can still hear it moving after the shaft tears through the tall grass. Frustrated, she attempts to give chase.>Stop her>Allow it>Other
>>45406036>Allow it>Kill the driver for interfering. We told them to stand down, He refused.WON'T LIE THO, THE REFLEX ON HIM IS GOOD.
>>45406036>>Allow itIt was her's to stop and, regardless of interference, she failed.She needs to fix the problem herself.
>>45406036>>OtherStep on his injured hand, ask what he's protecting.also>>Allow it
>>45406036Ask the man what he just took an arrow for, and compliment his reflexes.
>>45406036>allow it and take arrowhand captiveEnough prodding with red hot pokers and he'll surely tell us what he prevented us from shooting if Marigold can't catch it.
>>45406090Changing my vote, Which is this too>>45406183
>>45406171This and this>>45406117
>>45406036> "Wait, let me use my lucky arrow"> Throw the caravan driver
>>45406090You let Marigold chase down her mark, returning your attention to the caravan. You approach the injured driver, lance still waving the body banner of the dead guard, and place your heavy boot on his mangled hand. You apply just enough force to avoid snapping the finger bones, and remind the rest of the caravan that they need not suffer as well if they'll just cooperate. None speak against you.You look down at the driver and ask him what or who he was protecting. He glares at you with bloodshot eyes, and hawks a bit of spit and mucus onto your foot."Fuck you! Kill me if you're going to!">Kill him>Capture him>Ask another caravaner>Other
>>45406090I'm with this African American
>>45406253>otherLet's find out how many fingers his loyalty is worth.
>>45406253Kill a random person.Ask him again.
>>45406253>Kill him, then>Ask another caravaneror we could be smart and capture him for torture and interrogation
>>45406253>other Start snapping fingers. If that doesn't work, get a pair of tongs and start removing teeth.
>>45406253We're masters are torture and shit right? This>>45406288
>>45406288This, no need to be hasty, we can kill him eventually. Might as well let him suffer a little first.
>>45406253>Capture him for interrogation"You know, if it was a family member you could always have offered your servitude in exchange of their freedom.What you were trying to protect will die, and it will be your fault."
>>45406288You plant your lance in the ground for safe keeping and bend down to lift the driver by his wrist. He screams in pain, and takes two very silly jabs at you, which only serve to bruise and bloody his knuckles. You squeeze his injured hand, snapping the arrow shaft as well as his bones with relative ease. He wriggles like a worm on a hook, until finally he seems to come to grips with the pain. At that moment, you grab his other hand and crush it as well, to make sure the pain is fresh.The other caravaners recoil in fear and disgust as the sound of screams and snapping bone emanate from the poor man. When he calms down again, you pull his arms apart and stretching him into a cross position, promising to rip them off if he doesn't confess. He only spits blood at you from the bite he made in his own tongue.>Kill him>Keep inflicting pain>Other
>>45406492>otherClearly this motherfucker is crazy, threaten to torture the others, and go through with it if nobody confesses.
>>45406492>Other, Speak loud enough for everybody to hear"You know, We can do so much worse to whatever you're trying to protect. Would't you want to keep it safe? After all.... It'd be a shame if after all this, we dragged it out infront of you and just killed it."If he dones't accept this, MOAR pain.
>>45406492>otherClearly we need more refined methods to break him. Have our minions take him back for enhanced interrogation.
>>45406492Threaten to start killing other people till he talks.If he doesn't talk start killing.
>>45406492>>Keep inflicting painThis guy's got balls though, I'll give him that.Remind him that even if we kill him, we're sure another one of his colleagues will be more cooperative, so his secrecy and death would be for nothing.
>>45406543>>45406554You tell him if he doesn't speak soon, everyone, including the one who got away, will endure just as much pain. This actually seems to make him waver. You grin."Don't, Mal! We'll die either way!" you hear a woman cry from the group of other caravaners. When you turn, of the three of them none seem any more afraid than the others. You grab the driver by the neck and drag him choking toward the group. They all recoil, and none turn over the interrupter willingly.>Start killing>Start hurting>Other
>>45406642>Other>Start hurting "IF YOU SPEAK UP AND TELL US WHAT WE WANT TO KNOW, IT WILL ALL END! OR was he this much of an asshole you want to see him suffer? Does it make you proud or aroused? "
>>45406642>Start hurtingKill one if no one gives anything up, then move on to the next.Repeat as necessary.
>>45406642>OtherGive them a chance to speak up, then start hurting.
>>45406642>OtherTell them that you've become an Evil Lord because you've seen what the afterlife is like, and it's endless pain, whether you've been good or evil. Their sacrifice will be useless
>>45406642>>OtherGive them our word that we'll all let them go if they're willing to cooperate.We only kill when needed. We're no barbarians, we are classy and we are professional.Although, if they refuse...>Start hurting
>>45406642>OtherYou will in fact not die either way. Just ask those farmers.
>>45406688>>45406689You begin with the closest, putting him through the very basic of torture, from good old fashioned punches to the kidney to precise and practiced asphyxiation. To his credit, he holds fast, but when you toss him aside and move on to one of the women, he gasps and cries for you to stop. His wife, no doubt. Love makes fools of us all. "Please, stop! It was only a child that fled! The child of the man you killed!" Children can be troublesome. "Please, just let us go!">Agree, and go after the child>Agree, but raid them anyway>Kill them>Other
>>45406805>>Agree, and go after the child
>>45406805>Agree, but raid them anywayThey can live, but we're still taking everything.Including the kid for the trouble, assuming Marigold doesn't kill him.
>>45406805>Agree but Raid them anywayWe came here to fucking raid, Marigold can go after the kid... its JUST a kid after all.
>>45406805We have no reason to trust their word.>go after the "child"
>>45406805>Agree, but raid them anywayI would like to point out no one would be dead or hurt at all if you had just listened to my demands.
>>45406857You order the minions to take any valuables, and whatever else they can carry. The caravansary sob and lick their wounds, but otherwise you let them go on without further hassle. You even stop one of your more eager minions from harassing the women.Suddenly there is a flash of light, and you turn your attention to the grass. There is a scream, and it sounds too much like Marigold for your own comfort.>Order a minion to go after her>Go in yourself>Other
>>45406987>Go in yourself
>>45406987I fucking knew it. Fucking kids.>go after marigold yourselfThis is a sign of good faith.
>>45406987>Order a minon to go after her/Go in yourselfWhatever we do, don't let the child go.He'll just turn into the hero that seduces our daughter and kills us in a dramatic battle atop our castle in the midst of a raging storm.Unless that's endgame, in which case go ahead and spare him, and make plans to tell him that we spared him at his parents' request right before we die.(Wrong quote first time)
>>45406987>Go in yourselfIf you want something done right...
>>45406987>>Go in yourselfIf Marigold couldn't handle it, a dumb minion won't be able to either.
>>45407050We tell him his dad would still be alive if he didnt run away like a little shit.
>>45406987>Go in yourselfMade an investment, got to protect it.
>>45407034You run at full speed toward the grass, tracing the path of least resistance to follow after Marigold. In a few moments, you spot her kneeling in the dirt, rubbing her eyes and groaning. You kneel beside her and ask to see her face. She turns up toward you, and you are stunned to see bad burns around her face, as well as two smoky white irises. This has all the signs of divine intervention, but for a child to be granted such a boon is unheard of. Unfortunately, as you peer around, you can no longer see nor hear the child moving. It might be best to take what you have and go. Then again, leaving something like this is risky in the long run.>Burn the field>Retreat for now>Other
>>45407116We kind of killed his dad right in front of him>>45407199>>Burn the field
>>45407199>>Burn the field
>>45407199>Burn the fieldIf that's his/her power as a child, i don't want to know what it becomes as an adult.
>>45407199>Burn the field>Monolong"YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP TRUE AND JUST EVIL GODS? YOU SHALL SUFFER FOR THIS TRANSGRESSION! "
>>45407199>burn the fieldNobody gets away with attacking us. No exceptions.
>>45407199>Burn the fieldIt's a matter of presentation:You hurt anything that belongs to me, and everything you love becomes fire.Also, if he comes back, we can use the inevitable phobia it creates against him in the long run.
>>45407265His dad was the guy who blocked the arrow.
>>45407313That's what they told us.Doesn't mean it wasn't a crock of shit.
>>45407313>The child of the man you killed!"His dad is the guy we're using as a flag on our spear.
>>45407313Save his skull for later.We should start a collection, if we don't have one already.
>>45407345This. We have to assume that this kid(?) is at least as much of a threat as the others.
>>45407347I thought we killed the other guy too.
>Burn the field
>>45407411Nah, just horrible excruciatingly painful torture. We stopped after choking him.
>torture people for answers>threaten to kill them>believe the first thing they tell youWe're terrible at this torture thing.
>>45407447Ah well. The kids dad was an idiot.
>>45407280You summon another weapon, a sword of hellfire, and brandish it, focusing it's demonic power for one great burst of cleansing flame. It takes a moment to ready, but when it's done and with one great cleave, a wave of flames hot enough to bend steel surges through the grass field. It consumes all, and you are sure you have cleared any and everything, until the flames part, revealing an aegis standing firm in the middle of the grass. A shield of silver, bearing ancient runes of protection, protects it bearer from your magic. When the shield moves away, you see a familiar face in a set of all too annoying armor."Been a long time, eh comrade?" The man, red of hair and square of jaw, stands, tossing aside his golden cloak to allow his armor to shine in the sunlight. The child you'd been after cowers beside him, curled into a helpless ball. "I was wondering who might be causing so much trouble. I should have thought it was you. After all, we both know where we come from.">"Silence, or I'll rip that tongue from your pretty lips.">Attack him full force>Retreat>Mock him>Other
Gonna have to wrap in the next few posts since we're gonna autosage. If you guys want me to continue this quest, let me know now. If not, I'll leave it as a satisfying cliffhanger
>>45407493>Mock him"Blinding an archer? I didn't know you had a potential for such poetic... cruelty."
>>45407493>Other. Slay the child. Show that Paladin(?) who's boss!
>>45407521>satisfying cliffhanger>satisfying>cliffhangerPick one, and only one.
>>45407479No reason for them to lie.>>45407493You should return that kid to whatever family he has left. Tell him next time nobody dies if they follow orders.
>>45407493>Other"Give over the damn boy, We've filed the paperwork and justified in our demands. Otherwises we're gonna have real issues with the civilians.>>45407521I want you to continue, Because this is fucking awesome. Or atleast give your twitter.
>>45407534This is good.Also OP, I'd very much like for you to continue.With all the posts this quest is getting, I'm sure many others feel the same way too.
>>45407493>otherAsk that he step away from the child, or threaten to kill the caravaneers. There's no reason that we can't be diplomatic.
>>45407558>no reason to lie>other than to not be tortured and killedSounds like a damn good reason to lie.>>45407561>>45407577These.We get the kid or we kill the everyone else. And then eventually kill the kid anyways.
>>45407493> "Oh my Dark One, Gabriel? Ling time no see! How's the wife?">"...uh, right, I killed her. Still, it's so good to se you!"
>>45407616Or they could tell the truth and not get tortured and killed. You really think its a good idea to lie to someone torturing you? What do you think happens when they find out. Spoilers:Its torture
>>45407534>>45407564The man laughs hardily. "You always were a cut-up! Come on then!" He draws a longsword from his side and takes a defensive stance. "If you want the child, come and take it! Or have years of servitude dulled your sharp eyes and atrophied those hulking muscles of yours?" You see that annoying grin glint in the sunlight, almost brighter than his outfit.>Fight>Retreat>Other
>OtherThreaten to kill the survivors
>>45407678>FightWreck his shit then kill the kid in front of hsi very eyes, out of spite.
>>45407678>FightYou are lucky we are such friends, We'll make it a fair fight!
>>45407678What a fucking mess this raid is.>retreatHopefully our nooks were smart enough to grab some supplies.
>>45407678>OtherPretend to fight honorably, then kill the child while he's distracted
>>45407678>>FightHow can we be the beg if we run away We stand our ground and ACT like the beg, or every hero will thnk they can step all over us.
>>45407678Tradition dictates we >Retreatand dismiss him as a non-threat.We came here for the raid, let's get the stuff and go.No need to risk more minions on a duel.
>>45407877>damages your property>denies you your prey>just walk awayLook at this beta ass bitch.
>>45407877If you're following standard story rules, keep in mind that those stories had the good guy as the MCWith the good guy killing the beg in the endWe ain't dyin for no bitchass good guy niggaget outta here
>>45407947This is our second ever fight and you want to go against the knight with divine powers?It's not worth the potential loss of resources.
>>45407762>>45407783You raise your sword and charge, surprised when he does the same. As the two of you meet in the middle, eldritch steel meeting astral diamond, literal sparks fly between you. His strength is nothing to laugh at, but you are still mightier, and with all your strength you bend him under your weight. Realizing this, he breaks away and tries to use his agility to get around your blind spot. Unfortunately for him, you are just quick enough to parry his swing, and turn to face him again.The two of you exchange blow for blow, most cutting nothing but air, but a few shredding armor, coming dangerously close to flesh. Still, despite his praiseworthy skill at arms, his need to protect the child from being caught between you slows him. After one clash, you give him a boot, knocking him backward, and affording yourself a chance to turn and rush at the child. his speed is greater, but that is of no consequence.You arrive, plant your foot, and bring your sword down in a powerful arc. If he evades, the child dies. If he doesn't, he is cut. Even through his shield, your demonic blade's edge slices cleanly. It finally meets his flesh through his pauldron, and you lop off his entire right arm, depriving him of further use of his sword. He falls to one knee, groaning in pain, and you prepare for the final cut. Just then, another flash of light radiates from the child, and the two of them are gone as if they'd never been there. The only evidence of your battle left are the cuts in the burnt soil, and the blood arm lying on the ground.You sigh, banish your sword, and return to Marigold."What happened? Did you win, boss?" she asks, as you lift her up and carry her back to the others.>No>Yes>For now
>>45408051>For now,>" However let's get your eye sight fixed. Your worthless otherwises, I expect you to be a proper servant due to how much this will cost us."
>>45408051>>NoWe didn't kill the kid or Paladin.It was a loss.
>>45408051"Frickin' celestial beings and their Deus Ex Machina bullshit. C'mon, let's get your eyes fixed"
>>45408051>For nowMake an example of the village. Burn every last brick, salt the earth, make it as if the village never existed. Make sure the "hero" learns the consequences of his cowardice.
>>45408051Everything went better than expected, I see.>For now"Yes. But those fools will be back. We must crush them in whole next time we meet them. Besides, you still have yet to earn your keep- or the return of your sight. I suggest you make good on it."
>>45408051>For now"We must get you to the infirmary, i won't have you blinded as a result of my own errors."
>>45408118This.Someone's gonna pay.
>>45408150We didn't make an error.How could we have seen the paladin or magic coming?We can't always do everything for our servants, you know.
>>45408095>Anonymous 02/13/16(Sat)21:50:43 No.4540backing this
>>45408051>For nowTake his arm>>45408118Thats terrible for business. We need somewhere for these caravans to come to.
>>45408189Technically it was an actual god protecting the child. They probably sent the paladin.
>>45408294so that's our fault how anon?
>>45408264Think long term, bruh. If everyone learns about that one motherfucker who burned down an entire village, slaughtered all (except maybe one messenger) and salted the earth simply because they resisted, what do you think all other villages we visit will do? That's right, they won't even bother resisting. The small chance of taking us down doesn't weigh up to the near certainity of losing everything.That's worth a lot more than one measely caravan.
>>45408264Also for the farms we plan to take over to buy and sell shit.>>45408315Its not I was just pointing that out.
>>45408095>>45408108>>45408118>>45408160You carry Marigold back to the fortress and have Vanessa fix her eyes. The rest of the minions did quite well, hauling back a great deal of gold and notes, as well as tradeable goods. As you sit alone in your study of evil, you think about the encounter you had. To see Cruze after so long was a shock. You'd have assumed he was long since dead. To have lived, and still look his old self, he must have pledged himself to something quite powerful and desperate for his aid. Thinking on the trouble he will no doubt cause your effort, you grow angry. You decide to blow of a little steam by burning, pillaging, and wasting the local town, along with ruthlessly murdering it's defenders and sending it's women and orphans screaming for the hills. It helps.
>>45408324Cant the guys we just tortured and/or killed just spread the word?
>>45408324OR they'll fucking fight back even worse. Showing that if they slip up so much as ONCE they are all dead.In the long run it'll be harder.>>45408349...Why did we destroy the local town? I thought we didn't have enough votes for that?Also new thread?
That'll be a wrap, I hope you all enjoyed the thread. I'll be off now, but I will continue tomorrow at around the same time I started this one, or at least I'll try. I'll probably only be able to do more threads on the weekends, so keep an eye out for them if you're interested in more!Thanks to everyone who came to participate, I really appreciate it!
>>45408379Ah. No one really cares about one town.I was against it, but I cant really say I am mad it happened.
>>45408386I enjoyed it bro. Won't you leave us a twitter account you can use to announce the next installment?
>>45408386Thanks for the ride
Thanks OP, this was a fun game with an interesting concept, hope we see more.
>>45408386Thanks OP. I fucking enjoyed it.