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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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TWITTER: twitter.com/planefag
ARCHIVES: https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/kant-o-celle-quest-a-kantai-collection-game-transcribed-from-4chan.345865/

Since people wanted an update on bat lead, here you go:


The scraping of your coffee mug as you turn it around and around in your hands is the only real sound in the room. The Officers sitting across from you continue to stare with cold eyes.
Waiting.

“... right,” you say, testing the waters with that first word. It hits the atmosphere, slows rapidly and sinks sadly towards the table.

Well. Double the energy, then.
>>
INB$... what, who now?
>>
But what is a bat lead?
>>
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“So, I'm around twelve thousand feet, you know, hiding in the clouds, ducking down for a looksee peek every now and then, and - BAM!” you exclaim, slapping the table, “there he is, big black ugly and monsterous, not three thousand feet below. So I slip into the deck and sliiiiiiiiide up on him, then I come screaming down in a full power dive, all guns blazing!” You shake double fingerguns at them to demonstrate. “Entered a tight spiral for evasives and to keep from running over my do-not-exceed speed, rippled off my rockets first, then go to guns at around five, six hundred yards - and over five-fifty knots indicated -” not even a *blink* - “and lay into him good, beautiful burst, he blows to hell and gone and I haul on the stick to clear the bastard. Hard pullout, almost lost it, zoom-climbing for the clouds again in case he has friends aaaand that's when I look about and, like... I'm not missing a *lot* of wing? But it's not a *little* either, it's like-” you waggle your hand in air uncertainly, “like a moderate amount of wing. So. Naturally I misjudge my max climb rate aaaand she stalls, which becomes a spin, which becomes a *FLAT* spin. Meanwhile my port engine is on fire for some reason and it's making this like, spiral of flame in the air it was - right, nevermind, anyway I lay on the guns to try and empty the bins, change the CG, you know? And it works! Except then the engine fire, right, so I dive again, flaps in brakes in unloaded for speed, try to blow that bitch out. Then there's an explosion behind me -” you pause.
>>
>>46401146
I forgot to post it Wednesday/Thursday, but this is how I imagine the SecNav laughing sounded like:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T1bmM7Ihv0Y
>>
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>This April Fools theme
>>
Even on mobile it is satan
>>
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“Wait, right, forgot to say that a gun ran away on me second time I fired so it's still hammering away blam blam blam blam till it goes BANG! Must've overheated or jammed or a round cooked off before it went into battery because it blows right up through the cabin floor into the batteries behind the seat so now there's a fire back THERE. But, hey, I finally blow out the flames on engine one, so we're good, right, we're good, I've got an 02 mask, open the window to clear the smoke, we're awesome. Except now we're at like, 3,000 feet and I'm getting maybe 40 percent out of number one and number two's at maybe 80? Ish? But it's good, we've got power, and then like *half* the right wing just fucks off on its own, seeya mate, headin to the pub for a pint don't stay up for me."

So now I'm losing altitude fast but - ahead - I see the island! Except it's got that coastal wall thing. Which is bad. So I just lay on the power best I'm able and dive for the deck a bit, get that speed up, flare right before impact, shallow the angle and - it works. I skip the bitch, I skip that bitch UP, and we're OVER, and it's WORKING and I can just SKIP this bitch right over, but, uh, the impact, the blades, yeah. So the engines both over-rev and number TWO explodes, like, what was even its problem, it didn't even catch on fire before, and the loss of thrust, and the uneven wings - especially when the flaps got ripped off - and... she starts...” you twirl your finger in the air to indicate a frisbee rotation - and...”

There's no way around this - the most shameful of admissions. “And that's about when I lost control.”
>>
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ERRY AND TERRY ARE FOR BEING TAKEN TO FOLK MUSIC CONCERTS AND THEN TAKEN TO TIM HORTONS FOR COFFEE AND DONUTS
>>
WTF this April Fools shit.
>>
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Oh fuck, I had forgotten about the April 1st thing.

My fucking eyes.

Also, fuck yeah for Batlead!
>>
Well, aint this a shitshow
>>
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Silence.

“... and that's why there's three-quarters of a Beaufighter embedded in the side of your castle.”

More silence.

“... don't look at me like that.”

To the right of the red-head rises a face doing the Kilroy, peering at you intently.
“Can we keep him?” he asks.

The redhead drops her face into her hands with a sigh.

“I never win these arguments, anyways. Sure. Whatever. Do whatever the hell you want.”

[ ] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
[ ] You're kind of hungry - you wanna see the kitchen, first.
[ ] Aahahaha yeah no make a break for it the first goddamned chance you get.
>>
This random name assignment thing is going to play merry hell with trying to find the posts during archiving. Planefag, do you think you could put !!0ZviLFh59My in the body of the post or something?
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] You're kind of hungry - you wanna see the kitchen, first.
>>
>>46401333
>[x] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
Wait, is this SWQ?
>>
>>46401336

Planefag here. You might not want to worry about that just yet. Furthermore I write this all up in a nice neat document, I can copypaste it to you in an email or something if it's crucially needed.
>>
If anybody is interested, I've got a present from /g/ to help with the April Fool's Day "improvements"

Go here https://s.4cdn.org/css/tomorrow.647.css and copy it to a custom css,

and add http://s.4cdn.org/css/md2016.651.css to the filter of whatever kind of add blocker you use.
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] You're kind of hungry - you wanna see the kitchen, first.

Fuck you so much fap angel
>>
>>46401336
problem with that is any random fag can do that as well
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
>>
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>>46401291
Agreed.

Abyssals are for taking on dates.
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
>>
>>46401333
>[X] You're kind of hungry - you wanna see the kitchen, first.

THIS ISNT KCQ WHAT HERESY IS THIS
>>
>>46401333
>Beaufighter
>Castle
>red-head

Did... did Batlead dimension jump to SWQ? I don't even.


[ ] Aahahaha yeah no make a break for it the first goddamned chance you get.
>>
>>46401376
>and copy it to a custom css,

Pardon sir, but I don't know what the fuck that means.
>>
>>46401333
>[x] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
hiroshimoot stole christmas
but SWQ will save it!
>>
>>46401405
April fools.
>>
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>>46401333
>[ ] Aahahaha yeah no make a break for it the first goddamned chance you get.
NOPENOPENOPEPOPFLARESANDEVACNAOOOOO

>>46401365
>Minnie KANE
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] Aahahaha yeah no make a break for it the first goddamned chance you get.
>>
what is this april fools garbage doing on my fourchans.

I actually kind of like it
>>
>>46401371

Not actually DbC, I just had a look at some other quests at sup/tg/ and they all retain the random names. Your guess is as good as mine whether 4chan's 2-day archive (or however long they keep the threads) will keep them too..
>>
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>>46401146
>>46401180

KCQ: Kongou-Celle Quest is running as an omake tonight.

God help me.
>>
What the fuck is going on in this thread? Castle? Beaufighter?

Do any modern fighters still go by Beaufighter?
>>
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>4chan finally got accounts

Man, this site looks so much better now. I'm glad Hiro let you guys (and a lot of gals, apparently) join Web 2.0.
>>
>>46401504

It seems to be a simple style sheet laid over the normal board software so the archives will probably pull the "right" version.
>>
>>46401517
SWQ.

The fucker's put Batlead in SWQ.
>>
>>46401517

Apparently we're getting the very, very, very long awaited update to Strike Witches Quest tonight.
>>
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>>46401547
>Man, this site looks so much better now. I'm glad Hiro let you guys (and a lot of gals, apparently) join Web 2.0.

And SB lays down a SICK BURN
>>
See guys, we warned you about SB. Now 4chan has been absorbed.

We better start talking politely and sucking each other's cocks now.
>>
>>46401517
Welcome to Castle Barin, tovarisch!
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] You're kind of hungry - you wanna see the kitchen, first.
>>
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>>46401517
Nope. There's only been one beaufighter. The bristol beaufighter
>>
>>46401333
>[ ] Sure, gimme the ten cent tour!
>>
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>>46401547
FUCKING SPACEBATTLES GET OUUUUUUUUT
>>
>>46401578

If SB's staff pulled this shit on us, we'd lynch them and they know it. This? This is pure evil.
>>
>>46401504
it's a 7 day archive, IIRC, so we'll see if the April Fools formatting strips off when the clock strikes midnight
>>
>>46401578
>Catalog
Church of Conner did what?
>>
>>46401632
Unfortunately, sup/tg/ might still keep the formatting.
God forbid
>>
Can we replace Minna with a better commander?
>>
>>46401665
No kota. Bad pet.
>>
>>46401658

Well, I just applied the CSS fixes to render this shit readable again, and it appears that the random names in the name field are the result of code, not CSS obfuscation. So, we're kind of screwed on that point.
>>
>>46401665

Only way of getting Minna out of the field would be putting her on maternity leave...
>>
>all these sympathetic responses
Guys, this is miss' MenHater castle before men haters were in style. We're in proto-spacebattles and /gaia/ at the same time. Time to leg it before shenanigans happen.

If Ian is around though we can stay. He is a bro.
>>
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>>46401658
and nothing of value was lost
>>
>>46401680
>pet
>>
>>46401665
Go back to the doghouse, Kotapet.
>>
>>46401333
VOTES CALLED
>>
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Votes called!

In lieu of tripcodes I will identify myself with smug anime girl pictures.
>>
>>46401712
VOTES NOT CALLED
>>
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>>46401684
Ah hell naw.
Hell fucking naw.

Suddenly /a/'s THIRD IMPACT CSS is more bearable.
>>
Who is this kota you speak of?
>>
>>46401740
A pet.
>>
>>46401725
>I will identify myself with smug anime girl pictures
>/tg/
>Land of the nerds and home of the moe dwarfs
This is such a bad idea it can only be planefag's. Well thought.
>>
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>>46401146
ITS TIME
>>
>>46401547
>>46401575
>>46401610

Dude's probably not even from SB, but with this name shit going on, who the fuck can actually tell?
>>
>>46401710
>>46401680
Would Kota post something so lewd of his waifu?
>>
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Planefag here.

Arizona a shit. Essex a best.
>>
>>46401684
No shit, CSS is for styling content. It can't ADD content. And names are content.
>>
>>46401795
>Dude's probably not even from SB, but with this name shit going on, who the fuck can actually tell?
Only when everyone has names are we truly anonymous.
>>
>>46401801

Prove it, say it on your twitter if you really are him.
>>
>the archive sites also are getting the names
amazing
>>
>>46401801
Way to ruin your attempt at a ruse, Nagato.
>>
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>>46401801
But how many turrets does Essex have?
>>
>>46401860
Three
>>
>>46401844
>amazing
Let's hear you say that again when the transcriptions start coming in.
>>
>>46401872
>>46401860
Wrong, Essex has four Double 127mm guns and four Single 127mm guns.
>>
>>46401881
>not recognizing sarcasm
>>
>>46401911
Prove it.
>>
>>46401801
You are an evil, evil man for today's pranks.

Don't ever change.
>>
>>46401801
Once she realizes she's gotten an admiral fired, sure.
>>
/k/ripple here, posting ships!
HMS Warspite, HMS Malaya, HMS Barham, HMS Valiant, 1916.
>>
>>46401635
Where? I HAVE QUERIES!
>>
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what's the point, even?
>>
>>46401684
damn, the 4plebs archive is picking it up too...
>>
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>SWQ is back
You know what that means, guys.

Time for PILLOWFORTS!

Also, the thread is slower today, I approve.
>>
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>>46401920
This shit+ CSS is giving me a headache, bro. Bear with me.

>>46401926
Pic related. The double turrets are lined in a superfiring configuration along her island, starboard.

Her single turrets are set up amidships, half a deck below.
>>
>>46402022
No, it means we have Navy faggots to beat up.
>>
>>46402054
What does that mean, superfiring?
>>
Do Erry and Terry do extra damage against pillow forts?
>>
>>46401957
To be fair, Kongou did. Ari just made the worst assist in known history.
>>
>>46402107
They were made to obliterate fortifications, so... Imma guess no.
>>
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“Sure,” you agree cheerfully - hey, if you like the looks of the place, you can always stay, and if not there'll be ample opportunities to run like hell. “Gimme the ten cent tour!”

“Awesome!” The newcomer ducks below and actually crawls under the table to surface by your side, grabbing your hand off your lap to shake it vigerously. “I'm Young, that's Minna, and-”

“AAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” comes a terrifying, booming laugh from the other side of the room as the short-haired one slaps her irritated looking comrade on the back.

“-that's Death Incarnate,” Young finishes. “Try not to piss her off.”

“Duly noted,” you note duly as he almost physically drags you out of the room. Emerging into a nicely appointed, wood-paneled hallway, he steers you down a sweeping grand staircase that leads to a spacious lobby before shoving you out the big double front doors into the huge courtyard. “Right, so -” he points to either side, “we're building hangars on each side of this square-y area because the Italians are too goddamn useless to do anything right beforehand. And that-” he points down the nearly half-mile long strip of stone leading out into the ocean - “is the runway, if you can call it that. We're trying to fix the broken bit at the end but it's a CULTURAL ICON or some shit and paperwork and blah blah, right, so... yeah.”
>>
>>46402105
means that the turret behind fires over the top of the turret in front.
>>
>>46402105
Turrets are arranged to have the one in back set up higher than the forward turret so that the rear turret can fire over the forward turret.
>>
>>46401957
Nobody is getting fired you stupid fuck.
>>
>>46402105
Better than normal firing, but not quite as good as megafiring.
>>
>>46402105
it means that the turrets are stacked on top of each other, but can still shoot simultaneously

Also, I used to know an Annie Chan[g] during middle and high school. I think I still have her on Facebook. She's a doctor or something now, I know she at least did premed at NYU
>>
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>>46402107
They didn't do much against real forts, so I assume not. The leveling effect would make pillow forts indestructible.

We may have to use 19th century pillows though.
>>
>>46402119
Really, Essex was probably the least damning part of the stream.
>>
>>46402163
>Naka and Harder engaging in a pillow fight with the abyssals using leveling effect improved pillows
>>
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>>46402132
>I'm Young, that's Minna
AHAHAHAHAAHA GOOD LUCK YOUNG
It's a Marine pilot you're talking to
>>
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He leads you to a small jeep parked in the wide courtyard area, and soon you're off, circling the small spit of land clockwise. “So you know about Athens, right?”

“Uh, the city? Full of Greeks?”

“Yeah. Back in ancient days apparently they built long walls that led from the city right down to their harbor, because their navy was so important. This place started out nigh identical, but the harbor was built onto this island, and then they built a castle to guard it, and, you know, blah blah - ah, here.” He brings the jeep to a halt by a half-constructed hangar to the right of the square courtyard. Popping out of the jeep, he drags you along behind. “Over there, that's mine.” He points to a twin-engined beast of an aircraft - for fucks sake, it's even got a top turret!

“What is that?”

“That is equipped for night fighting,” he says primly. “A P-61 Black Widow. It's a *heavy fighter.*” You, a Beaufighter driver, understand exactly where he's coming from. You nod solemnly, sealing the pact. “I see.” You see, indeed. Aside from the black paint and the nose art... “why is it covered in those little paper strips with Japanese scribblegrams on 'em?”

“Long story,” he says breezily. “Oh, look!” He points at a sour-looking man in stained overalls. “My crew chief. HEY, MARV!” A few seconds later he ducks as a half-inch wrench whistles over his head. “Right cool hangers very big and hangary let's like you know get the fuck out of here,” he says hastily as Marv reaches into his toolbox for something with better aerodynamics. "Where to?"

[ ] Recreation facilities. If they don't have a shuffleboard court, you're making a break for it.
[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
[ ] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB
>>
Here's a very quickly updated timeline.

Day 1:
Arrival at Yokosuka
Meet Goto
Return of Harder

Day 2:
Harder and Naka fight
Abyssal attack on Pasaleng
Meet Kougou
Battle at the Philipines
BB-3, BB-4 emergence
Arizona EOD
Naka hospitalized

Day 3:
First Naka hospital visit
AAR with Jintsu, Kongou, Tenryuu, Tatsuta
First mention of AR lower
Settle and Kaga fight
Sammy and Mogami, Choukai, Chikuma fight
Meet Crab, Wainwright

Day 4:
Wake-up call by Kongou, Kirishima
'Rescue' by Arizona
Goto meeting
Call, CNO
Second Naka hospital visit
Briefing, Harder
Abyssal attack on Yokosuka
Scouting mission, Tone, Chikuma
Date, Shoukaku
Containment activity, Hate

Day 5:
Breakfast, DesDiv6
Range practice, Kongou, Arizona, DesDiv6, Willie Dee
Harder and Fubuki fight
Settle and Hornet fight
Third Naka hospital visit
Mikasa visit, Settle, Arizona, Willie Dee, Hate
Settle, Hate and Tenryuu fight. Arizona, Willie Dee, DesDiv6 bystanders.
Reequip Arizona, Kongou
Abyssal attack on Tone, Chikuma
Settle hospitalized (this quest gave me cancer)

Day 6:
Meet Yamato
Task force dispatched

Day 7:
Battle of Bonin Islands
Iwo Jima emergence
Return of Northampton
Settle and Hate fight

Day 8:
Paperwork with Naka

Day 9:
Early AM: Task force return
Breakfast, Shoukaku
Welcome back party
Press meeting, Goto
Corgi attack on Shigure
Settle and Shigure fight
Settle and Hate yaoi
Corgi containment, Settle, Hate, Arizona, Ise, Hyuuga, Northampton, Super KTKM-sama
Strategy meeting
Settle and Goto yaoi
Naka meeting
Yakuza attack

Day 10:
Wake-up call by Willie Dee
Breakfast, Willee Dee, Hate
Tea time, Kongou, Haruna
Shigure visit
Thomas meeting
Naka visit
Meet Shimakaze, Settle and Rensouhou fight
Invasion of Iwo Jima
Return of Essex
Settle and Arizona... something
HMS Terror call
Sunda task force dispatched

Day 11:
Battle of Sunda Strait
Return of Houston and Perth

Day 12:
Tatsuta hospital visit
Kougou/Arizona/Essex livestream
CNO and SecNav call
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>>
Quick someone tell me which is the Trude option so I could vote for it.
>>
>>46402183

>[X] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB

FEEDMEEEEE
>>
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>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
Maybe we'll see Chuck and Shirley?
>>
>>46402158
>Also, I used to know an Annie Chan[g] during middle and high school. I think I still have her on Facebook. She's a doctor or something now, I know she at least did premed at NYU

...What are the chances that she's part of Colonel ArmyNurseCorpFag's medical staff?
>>
>>46402208
Only two weeks and how many times have we gone crazy?
>>
>>46402208

planefag here, fucking thank you for this because jesus christ I did not want to have to go back and count all those up myself.
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>“I'm Young, that's Minna,
Yeup, SWQ.
>>
>>46402183

>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.

this sounds best
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>>
>>46402183
>[X] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.

So this is SWQ. Huh.
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB
>>
>>46402240
Nice try Stanley.
>>
>>46402183
>[X] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>>
>>46402245

Next year, Planefag will troll us by posting an update for AWIY...
>>
>>46402105
one's raised up to shoot over the top of the other instead of bonking into each other or being down on the side of the hull poking out of a slit like an age of sail cannon

the fact that this was revolutionary should tell you something about the old military's attitude to technology
>>
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>>46402183
>The P-61 is covered in shinto seals
The fuck? Did we finally jinx it beyond repair?

>[ ] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB
We need more Rommel in our lives.
>>
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every thread
>>
>>46402183
[x] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB

Maybe we'll run into Best Frenchie again.
>>
>>46402208
weren't there some gaps or something while time passed, or was it just straight action? Like, I think I remember days when Settle was passed out hospitalized or something like that
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Recreation facilities. If they don't have a shuffleboard court, you're making a break for it.
>>
>>46402292
>the fact that this was revolutionary should tell you something about the old military's attitude to technology

>centerline turrets
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] Repair shops - engines, armory, and such. You HATE turning back from sorties with rough-running engines and losing kills to a gun jamming is the WORST.
>>
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>>46402183
>>[X] The Bathing Areas
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
>>
>>46402183
>[ ] RUB A DUB DUB IT'S ALL ABOUT THE GRUB

2 options for kitchen, come on guys
>>
>>46402234
very little, pretty sure she's still in NYC and not in the military. Saw her a couple years ago at New York Comic Con
>>
>>46402236
That would imply there were times where we weren't crazy.
>>
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Threadly reminder that PERRINE IS PERFECTLY CUTE.

Picture unrelated, but day-related.
>>
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>>46402183
>[x] RUB A DUB DUB I HUNGER, COWARDS
>>
>>46402327
A few gaps, yes.

Also, unless I missed a day again it should be Tuesday in-quest.
>>
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>>46402396
>>
>>46402208
Funny how many things can happen in two weeks.
>>
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>>46402183
OF COURSE MONA.
OF COURSE YOU FUCKING POST MORE SWQ AS AN APRIL FOOLS JOKE. WHY DO YOU HURT MY LIKE THIS.
>>
>>46402396
Threadly reminder that nobody likes Kota, especially Perrine.
>>
>>46402415
Why isn't this still a thing?
>>
>>46402371
When fighting Abyssal level spoopyness, sanity only leaves more for them to damage.

The crazier you are, the harder it is for them to successfully mind-fuck you.
>>
>FEED PILOTS

That or

>RAEP TRAIN.
>>
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>>46402303
>>
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PLANEFAG

LORD CLIVE WHEN
>>
>>46402430
Because he hates it and its fans.
>>
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VOTES CALLED. Here is your smug anime grill
>>
>>46402450
>The crazier you are, the harder it is for them to successfully mind-fuck you.

Either that or even Abyssals know better than to stick it in the crazy.
>>
>>46402292
pretty sure naval architects and conservative admirals were afraid that their steel strength wasn't strong enough to handle the stress of the turret on top firing and damaging the one on bottom. Probably were afraid they might collapse or something.

>>46402335
BADNAUGHTS! BADNAUGHTS! What you gonna do when they come for you!
>>
>>46402294
Do you think Bradley or Patton are still on-base? Would be nice to see them size up Batlead.
>>
>>46402460
Run a train on who, though? Should we cuck someone?
>>
>>46402505
Find Mallory. Throw him into the ocean.
>HAH, LET'S SEE A EUROPEAN SWALLOW SWIM!
>>
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>>46402489
>BADNAUGHT

the fuck is this
>>
>>46402548
Wait, does that shit have reactive armor on its turrets?!
>>
>>46402548

The USS Donald Trump, alias the worst paper-ship known to Man.
>>
>>46402548
It's when someone tries to build an awesome dreadnought designed to strike fear in the hearts of man.

And they fail.

(Your pic related)
>>
>>46402473
Why though. It's the third best quest that's ever been on the board, with the other two being KCQ, and EQM.
>>
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>>46402489
>Badnaughts
Don't remind me of that abomination.
>>
>>46402548
Trump's plan to push the USA into bankruptcy, like he's done with his company.
>>
>>46402548
Huh. Interesting question comes to mind. If you make a ship large enough, are the roles of Carrier and Battleship mutually exclusive?
>>
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>>46402581
>Not mentioning MGNQ
>Not mentioning Ogre Quest
>Not mentioning Maid Quest
It's like you're not even trying.
>>
>>46402622
yes
>>
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>>46402548
>casemates
I... what.
>>
>>46402622
The roles of carrier and battleship are mutually exclusive in any ship because carriers deal with lots of flammable materiel and battleships are obsolete.
>>
>>46402625
Oh, those are up there. It's as follows:
1. KCQ
2. EQM
3. SWQ
4. MGNQ
5. MaidQuest
6. OgreQuest
>>
>>46402677
>no mention of Oversized Weapon Quest
>>
>>46402671
Doesn't that make the Navy Railgun obsolete? What about a battle-ship sized Missileboat?
>>
>>46402548
that's pretty bad, my brother.

But the original badnaughts I was talking about are from that one game of Rule the Waves where some dude played the Royal Navy and had rules where he could never design a BB with a centerline turret and more than 1 gun in a turret, along with other dumb old school naval design things.

More info here: http://nws-online.proboards.com/thread/449/badnoughts-experiment
>>
>>46402581
EQM?
>>
>>46402622

Those roles are always mutually exclusive. Look up the conversions of Ise and Hyuga if you want to see examples of an atempt to combine them that failed miserably.

Mind, they were fairly shit to begin with, but that's not the point.
>>
>>46402622
A battleship is designed to be a ship of the line, to go directly into battle and pulverize everyfuckingthing

A carrier is supposed to stay the fuck out of battle, being filled with avgas and ordnance, and pelt the enemy with proxies from afar

trying to combine the two does not into working

Look at RSS Steadfast - if she hadn't had a helicopter pad on her, that shot by either Sneezehorn or Gesundheit wouldn't have been as debilitating as it was.
>>
>>46402706
Eclipsed Moon Quest.
>>
>>46402581
aw, no love for Fuck Quest, even if it was primarily an /a/ quest and died a sudden death?
>>
>>46402548
I just found that pic http://www.oocities.org/doujincorp/doujinbb.html

Is that the original source and everybody's been memeing me, did they take it from elsewhere, or was everybody retarded enough to assume whatever random anon spoonfed them about the picture?
>>
>>46402716
They were serviceable BBs when they were built in the teens. The conversions fucked em tho.
>>
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Since we're posting old SWQ images
>>
>>46402723
The problem is, is that the steadfast isn't supposed to gun fight a cruiser in the first place.
>>
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>>46402472
That thing is too glorious not to draw.
In the meantime have a shitty sketch of U-35 (people remember that, right?)

http://i.imgur.com/n0MRzgS.png
>>
>>46402698
>>46402751
Oh these aren't bad quests. They're just not as good as I listed.
>>
>>46402677
>no MEQ
Also Ruby and Dorf
>>
>>46402700
>Doesn't that make the Navy Railgun obsolete?
No.
>what is combined arms, Alex?
>What about a battle-ship sized Missileboat?
That is a thing - an arsenal ship.

Better/Easier to make a bunch of smaller ships - like OHP frigates or Arleigh Burke destroyers - to truck around your flying explosive metal dicks than to stick it all on one boat - leaving all your eggs in one basket, STS.
>>
>>46402765
Neat.
>>
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You ask to see the repair facilities in more detail - machine shops, armory, engine shed, the works. You've always been partial to doing your own tuneups and that typically requires someplace other than an engine stand right in your own revetment to work. The rear echelon fuckers can be bribed cheap to look elsewhere as you bypass engine speed governers, but your own crew and chief will simply sodomize you to death with their wrenches for sticking your nose in their goddamned business. Young, driving like the typical American, executes a low-altitude suborbital transfer flight over the courtyard to the other side, where the machine shops and such lie. Parking the jeep with a squeal of tortured rubber, he bounces out and beckons you to follow. Strolling side by side, he starts pointing out areas of interest - a small ammo dump, a huge pile of sand for testing guns, even a strange metallic contraption built for tail-dragging fighters to be pushed against for testing of installed guns - like a pair of shot-traps that can swing out on articulated wheels to accommodate planes of different wingspans. He steers you sideways into a smaller hanger that's been subdivided into cubicles.
>>
>>46402797
I'm bad at tactics and that kind of thing. I'd to actually learn more about tactics and military theory but I have no idea where to start.
>>
>>46402753
Isn't that the image from the original thread on /k/ though?
>>
“Over there,” he points, “is experimental. All sorts of crazy shit in there, lots of tools and gauges straight from the engine manufacturers, stuff you usually only see in their - uh - hello?” You're already trotting towards the stall, trying not to drool as you eye all the beautiful toys the nice manufacturing reps jealously guard and hide in their bags after they're done dealing with That One Thing that brought them out to Limey Land.

Two people are already occupying the stall - a young man with short-cropped hair and a rather buxom redhead wearing only cut-off jeans and a tank top. They're both standing near a wheeled engine stand; the big ones used for rolling Merlins around the shop floor. The wheels have been unlocked. Each stand hosts an engine - one looks like a standard V12 that's grown a shitload of funny tubing on it, and the other looks like... well, like two goddamn engines in one crankcase. Both have propellers on them, and they've both been chained to huge concrete blocks on the floor. A presumed finish line has been painted on the ground some twenty feet away, near the wall of the hangar.

The lad and lass exchange a narrow glance.

“It's time,” he says.

“It is,” she retorts. “Ready to pay up, asshole?”

[ ] Observe.
[ ] Place your own bet.
[ ] Just keep walkin.
>>
>>46402862
That's what I don't know.
>>
>>46402622
Battleships are meant to be there on the line and slug it out with other heavy combatants, and are armed and armored to fulfill that role.

Carriers have vulnerable flight decks loaded down with avgas and ordy to facilitate the launching of planes.

You want to have a carrier sit there and take hits to the face while both returning fire and launching planes? I'm sure you can tell that's a seriously bad idea
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Place your own bet.
OH YES, YEAGER SIBLINGS ARE BACKKKKKK
ALL PRAISE THE PATRON SAINT OF STONKING BIG FUEL TANKS
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Place your own bet.
lose
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Observe.
>>
>>46402864
>[X] Place your own bet.

WHO NEEDS MONEY
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Observe.
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Place your own bet.
>>
>>46402864
>Place your own bet.
>>
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Also here is a hint if you don't know what breed of V-12 you're dealing with.
>>
>>46402864
>[x] Place your own bet
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Place your own bet.
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Place your own bet.
>>
>>46402864
> place your own bet
> on big tits and her engine
>>
>>46402902
But WHERE. IS. SHARKPLANE?!
>>
>>46402864
>[X] Observe.
>>
>>46402671
>battleships
>obsolete

Nice meme, chair force
>>
>>46402864
>[ ] Observe.
>>
>>46402864
>placing your own bet on a 2-person wager
fucking how

No, I'm serious deme. Tell me what the payouts are.
>>
>>46402622
Not by any conventional means, but if you go into sci-fi...

>cruiser-sized main gun
>>
>>46402864
>[x] Place your own bet.
tuuuuubes!
forced induction uber alles
>>
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also I had no idea I had that picture till just now

alice in a shark? ahahaha what the shit
>>
>>46402864
>[x] Observe.

Also Shirley is not rather buxom, she's very much buxom.
>>
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I'm fairly sure Zucchini is laying low and stalking us right now. Better put a crotch protector on.
>>
>>46402983
We'll probably make a wager with Young
>>
>>46402864
>[X] Place your own bet.
>>46402837
So am I.
Hell, I'm learning wet-navy-related information through osmosis at this point, just following this quest.
>>46402946
However, I know enough that big huge pure-gun-based aquatic combat platforms are a bad idea in today's combat theaters - Yamato proved that beyond a shadow of a doubt.
>>
VOTES CALLED TOOT TOOT
>>
>>46403059
>Hell, I'm learning wet-navy-related information through osmosis at this point, just following this quest.
Ditto. Through both this and RTW. Had some knowledge beforehand, but seeing it in action makes it a bit easier to understand.
>>
>>46403059
So what about a combined cannnon-and-or-railgun ship with several vertical launch tubes.
>>
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>>46403077
NOT SMUG ENOUGH, I CAN'T TELL IF IT'S PLANEFAG OR NOT
>>
Seriously though. What's BatLead?
>>
>>46403125
Combined railgun and missile armament would possibly work, but still won't 'bring back the battleship' (though for the first decade or two, the power source capable of charging the capacitors for the railgun quickly enough to be viable in a combat timeframe would likely need a BB hull to truck around).

>>46403196
Akagi's boyfriend.
Same thing with the arsenal ship - 'tis better to make lots of smaller ships than one big ship. Carriers are an exception to this, because they have to be fuckhuge to fill their roles properly.
>>
>>46403196
Read the archives you nig
>>
>>46403196
Squad leader.
>>
>>46403196
Callsign for the commander of VMFA(AW)-242, who provided air cover for our task force during the Bonins engagement.
>>
>>46403196
The pilot from Bonin that Hornet caught on her deck after his plane got damn near chopped in half.
>>
>>46403238
Akagi, not Hornet.

>captcha is food
>>
>>46403228
Use that filename on Akagi if she's holding a Super Hornet, not an F-15EJ.
>>
>>46403261
...Closest fucking image I could find, anon.

Will edit image file name appropriately though.
>>
I can't take this fucking april's 1st theme.
>>
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>>46403196
he followed the white rabbit and landed his f18 on akagi's manifested hull

many wtfs were wtf'd
>>
>>46403228

Gonna argue the carrier thing- with them, they benifit better from economy of scale because they can deploy their offense as defense, and thus don't need to dedicate nearly asmuch tonnage to it.

Conversly, the problem with large arsenal ships is that if you only have one, all the eggs are in one basket. Which is bad.
>>
>>46403196
>>46403235
this guy
http://www.1stmaw.marines.mil/SubordinateUnits/MarineAircraftGroup12/VMFA242/CommandSuite/CommandingOfficer.aspx
Lieutenant Colonel Shawn M. Basco
>>
>>46403194
Great to see ya Fap Angel.

WHY?! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE US WITH THESE FOOLING SHENANIGANS?!
>>
>>46403228
More or less, yeah. In general, radar and other fire control systems are pretty squishy and can often be taken out by otherwise minor hits. Without radar, the combat ability of a ship is heavily reduced due to the inability to respond against distant targets.

As such, when you have more ships each with separate FCS instead of one big one with a single FCS, a single hit will only affect part of the fleet's radar systems (and thus leave more ships in the fight).
>>
>>46403352
Whad did Planefag said about looking for trouble with the forces?
>>
>>46403238
And this applies to SWQ how?
>>
>>46403352

We generally don't hunt down names in order to keep the g-men away.
>>
>>46403384
>A Hoover talking about G-Men...
>>
>>46403376
It doesn't. At all.


Cry some more.
>>
>>46403384
>Hoover
>G-Men
I'm trying to see a joke here somewhere.
>>
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>>46403301
add
||s.4cdn.org/css/md2016.*.css
to your adblock rules
>>
>>46403309
>Gonna argue the carrier thing- with them, they benifit better from economy of scale because they can deploy their offense as defense, and thus don't need to dedicate nearly asmuch tonnage to it.

Well, that too.
>>46403352
>Woah, Nellie.
>>46403364
Also - and forgive this anon's lack of knowledge - is not a distributed detection system better, for when one needs to turn the Eye of Sauron on a single target?
>>46403428
J. Edgar Hoover.
The first director of the FBI.
>>
>>46403425
Then what are we reading? I'm hearing BatLead but reading SWQ.
>>
>>46403352
Why do you do this?

Seriously, this shit needs to stop now that a Real Motherfucking Admiral knows about this quest.
>>
>>46403352
Wow. A real person ship.

You should be ashamed of your autism.
>>
>>46403352
Delete this.
>>
>>46403447
I know that. I was making a joke comment.
>>
>>46403465
no
>>
>>46403373
>>46403384
>>46403453
>what is google
>what is wikipedia
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/VMFA(AW)-242
>>
>>46403440
Thanks Wilson
>>
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>>46403501
Autism.
>>
>>46403513
>>46403440
>Thanks Wilson


WILSONNNNNNNNN
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z7Rv_7kWfBc
>>
>>46403501

There is a point here.

There's a reason you're way the hell over there.
>>
>>46403358
>Implying that's Deme
>>
>>46403578
Not the same anon, but even I'm scratching my head as to what this is supposed to mean.
>>
>>46403698
>Higgins
lolwut
>>
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>>46403698
>Higgins
>>
>>46403698
He didn't so much miss the point as to actively flee from it.
>>
>>46403698
>HIGGINS

SETTLES WAIFU CONFIRMED SUMMONED
>>
>>46403698
>Higgins

Now the name randomizer is just fucking with us.
>>
>>46403451
BatLead is a character from Planefag's newest quest, Kant-o-Celle Quest.

This April Fool's Day thread is the character BatLead from KCQ being placed into the universe of SWQ.

That simple enough for you?
>>
>>46403784
I'm just waiting for someone to get the name Settle.
>>
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>>46403698
>Higgins
>>
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>>46403823
>Chen
>>
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>>46403698
>Higgins
Someone cap this for posterity.
>>
>>46403794
Yes actually. Unlike these other, over-complicating fuckwads. Thanks.
>>
Welp, PF's writing a big update.

Are we gonna JUMP THE SHARK PLANE again?
>>
>>46403727
>>46403744
>>46403762
>>46403784
>>46403823
>>46403992
My only regret is that that post wasn't even related to KCQ.
>captcha is food
>all but one image was of a burger
>MURICA
>>
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Young sidles up beside you, observing the imminent race. “Oh. I see they're butting heads again.”

“Who?”

“Shirley and Chuck. Brother, sister, you know how it is.”

“Ah. What are those things?”

“That,” Young points to the tubed engine near Chuck, “is an Allison V-1710-127. It uses some kind of crazy exhaust-ducting shit to return power to the crankshaft. And THAT one-” he points to the engine next to Shirley - “is a V-3420, which is basically two standard V-1710s mated to a single crankcase. They've been arguing over which one is the future of pursuit aviation powerplants, and tweaking the hell out of their Chosen Engine to edge the other out in raw horsepower.”

“Ahhh,” you say. As Chuck and Shirley fire up their respective engines with a great and terrible roar, you and Young exchange a Glance.

“Five bucks on the 127,” you intone.

“Five bucks on the two-in-one!” he retorts. You both spit in your hands and shake on it. Over the din, Shirley and Chuck are both rooting for their respective engines. The machines drag their concrete blocks forward while you and Young both steal glances at Shirley's ass while Chuck is otherwise engaged, cheering his engine on. Shirley is pumping her fist in the air as she yells encouragement. The two-in-one seizes an initial advantage, having more torque, but once it gets rolling the lighter mod-127 gains quickly, threatening to pull past the competitor. They inch forward, heavy blocks scraping against the concrete floor as they suck gasoline hungrily from two fifty-five gallon drums placed atop their respective blocks, connected with flexible temporary tubing. The 127 seems to have more power, or at least better power-to-weight, but as it encounters a rougher section of the hastily-laid floor the 3420 gains a momentary reprieve, torque serving it well once again. The stakes are rising, the tension is thickening, and you're just beginning to really enjoy things -
>>
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- when the goddamn chains snap.

You and Young both duck with well-honed reflexes as broken links sail harmlessly overhead. Chuck and Shirley are left staring at the two holes in the wall. The gas drums are gone from atop the blocks, drawn along by their flexible fuel lines. Somewhere, in the distance, you can hear the faint and fading howl of both dueling engines as they scream towards the horizon, unchained and free.

“Well, shit,” Chuck says dismally.

Shirley makes to comment, before squeaking and hugging her arms over her chest. You look to Young for comment, but he's busy peeling Shirley's tank-top off his face. You both exchange another Glance, and come to silent accord with a simple nod - time to move on. You beat feet before they can turn around and attempt to silence the witnesses to their opening of Pandora's crankcase.

“Ooohkay,” Young says, balling up the tank-top and flicking it neatly into a trash can full of oil-stained rags. “Just... come along. Over there, that's an experimental Striker shop.”

“Experimental?”

“Yeah,” Young explains. “Like every six weeks or so someone digs up a 'super secret plan,'” he airquotes, “left by Dr MickyFoojie with a rad bitchin awesome utterly insane new striker that only Yoshika can use. Just, you know, dug up from somewhere. But nobody knows where, because the Good Doctor is totally still missing for reasons unexplained by spooks that get real shifty-eyed when you talk to them loudly.”

You raise an eyebrow.

“NOOOOO SIIIIIIR, no, not bitter, not me, nope, never,” he says with deep and emotionally-laden Conviction. “I am thankful that her prototypes never blow up on her or do strange things or decide to just up and quit or seize bearings or put her into a flat fucking spin, because she is a young girl and she wouldn't handle it like us professionals do.”

“Of course,” you concede graciously.
>>
>>46404255
VIVA ITALIA FUCKBADGER
>>
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“Now over here-” he leads you towards the “stall” on the right size of the aisle - “is where the neat shit happens.”

“Neat shit?”

“Yeah, from Germany. You know the Germans make good stuff!”

This stall is currently occupied by two blondes - identical blondes, in fact - and a brunette. The brunette is wearing some kind of rather fetching red outfit for some reason, and studying a truly massive cannon laid out on a big work-table.

“... this.”

“... that,” Young says under his breath. “Is... big?”

You squint. “That's a 50mm gun.”

“It is?”

“Yeah. I used to fly Mosquitoes for a bit,” you tell him. “Teste version. Had one of those in the nose for anti-shipping work. Only about thirty rounds, though.”

The brunette's expression of dubious concern deepens when she rolls the big gun over a bit to discover a hand-grip under the breech block, as if it was meant for someone to hold.

“Erica?”

“Yes, Trude?”

Trude looks up, and points at the gun, her face asking the question for her.

Erica shrugs, and points at the other blonde. “Ask her.”

The other one is leaning over something vaguely propulsionish looking that terminates in a nozzle. “Oh, hell yes,” you exclaim, sneaking forward to take a look. Trude and Erica's eyes track you with twin expressions of foregone expectations as you and Young approach.

“Hey, Ursula,” Young asks. “I'm showing our new guy here the lay of the land. What's this thing you've got here?”

“An engine,” she says matter-of-factly as she dives into the guts of the device, face hidden by an access panel.

“Yeah, a jet engine,” you say appreciatively as your fingers twitch to touch touch touch. You look back at Young - but he's retreated several steps. “Whatsamattayou?”

“Jet engine,” he says suspiciously. “Or... a rocket.” He raises his voice. “Hey, Ursula, where's the fuel for this thing?”
>>
>>46404299
Oh glory. They're making the Flying Flamethrower Mk II.
>>
So, uh, who exactly are we?
>>
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She surfaces from the guts of the machine, taking off her glasses and blowing some fine dark dust off of them. “Hold on, I'll show you - I'm about to fire it up.”

Young has cautiously crept back to stand near you, though he's now eyeballing the mysterious engine darkly. Ursula ducks under her workbench and drags out a big tub of something - coolant? Protective packaging? You lean in, eager to see the latest invention of German wunderscience.

Ursula reaches down into the huge tub... and comes up with a coal scuttle.

You tip your head to one side, nonplussed.

She turns, and pours it into the open hatch. You and Young both leeeaaan over a bit, and get a good look at a wire mesh basket mounted to some sort of rotating drum - and it's filled with what look like uniformly-sized coal pellets.

“Yeah we're done here,” you state, spinning on your heel and stalking away with Young close beside you.

“Young?”

“Yeah?”

“Why in the name of all that is holy,” you query, “are the Germans building a jet that runs on fucking coal?”

“And I'm supposed to know this how?”

“You *are* fucking one,” you point out.

He opens his mouth. He closes his mouth. He opens his mouth again. “Uh. Shut up. Look!” Sprinting past your elbow, you turn to find him cracking open a door on a stall that's been fully walled off for privacy. “BEHOLD! THE LABORATORY OF THE GREAT AND god dammit where did he go.”

“I RISE!”

The voice echoes down to you from the ceiling. You both look up-

- and find an old white-haired man wearing a metal colander on his head, who is standing upside-down on the ceiling.
>>
>>46404333
TESLA CALLING IT NOW.
>>
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“BEHOLD!” he declares. “I, TESLA, HAVE DEFEATED GRAVITY ITSELF! THEY CALLED ME MAD! AH! HAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“... why is that man on the ceiling?” you ask.

Nikolai Tesla seems to deflate with a long sigh. He looks up at his own feet, and executes a little hop. He sinks towards the floor for a second, before falling and landing on the roof again. “Because I did not think this through. Bring me that ladder, would you?”

Young grabs the ladder and wedges the top beneath a rafter near the man before fairly sprinting out of his cell. You follow, still blinking.

“So yeah, that, uh... happened,” Young says.

“That man was walking on the ceiling.”

“Yeah, so? He'll do it again tomorrow, what's your point?”

“THAT MAN,” you repeat slowly, reminding yourself that he is an American, and thusly exceptions must be made, “IS WALKING ON THE CEILING.”

“What do you expect him to do, water skate!?” A faint cry of exultation sounds from behind the thin plywood wall, and Young slaps his hand to his face. “Fuck. Thanks.” He stalks away down the aisle. “Uh that's the armory for the witches, because they're fucking insane and insist on using their personal slew of weapons sourced from whatever military they come from, so we need to maintain separate ammo and parts stocks for each goddamned one. Except for Zuuchini, because she intelligently lost her pile-of-shit eye-talian gun at the first opportunity and got a M1919 from Shirley, which we actually DO use in some aircraft.” His expression darkens. “Until we didn't. And then we actually moved to fucking Italy, like ten miles from the factory that makes the gun she lost, and now we have to source lightweight aero barrels for the plane variant of the 1919, from across the goddamned Atlantic.”

“Oh,” you say, tone carefully neutral.
>>
>>46404333
wasn't the coal jet engine intended for the supersonic flying wing made of plywood?
>>
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>>46404333
TESLA, GOD OF THUNDAAAAAAA
>>
>>46404333
>“I RISE!”
>The voice echoes down to you from the ceiling. You both look up-
>- and find an old white-haired man wearing a metal colander on his head, who is standing upside-down on the ceiling.

I didn't realize just how much I missed SWQ until now.
>>
>>46404333
>You *are* fucking one,

ha
>>
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“And over there is-” he points to another walled-off stall. This one has a pentagram drawn in front of the door with white chalk and what looks like a bead-curtian for a door. “Y'know what? Nevermind.”

You look to your left and find a mostly disused section filled with dust-covered crates. Some of them have been piled up like steps, and when you follow them upwards -

- you stop abruptly.

From the rafters above dangles a cow. A cow that is dangling by its *own tail,* carefully wrapped around the beam. It lets its head dangle to bring its wide, brown eyes to bear on you - and unleashes a quiet, steely *hissssssss* that slithers down your spine.
You turn to Young, and open your mouth.

“Justkeepwalkin,” he says, flinging an arm around your shoulders and propelling you forward. “Right so yeah uh that's this whole... place, uh... what do you want to see next?”

[ ] Actually I have some questions first!
[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
[ ] Recreation. A shuffleboard court cures ALL ills. And polo, too. Who doesn't like polo? Fags and Welshmen, that's who.
>>
>>46404299
>The brunette's expression of dubious concern deepens when she rolls the big gun over a bit to discover a hand-grip under the breech block, as if it was meant for someone to hold.

Wait. Is that Hate's fucking frankengun?
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] Recreation. A shuffleboard court cures ALL ills. And polo, too. Who doesn't like polo? Fags and Welshmen, that's who.
SUMMON HELLCOW DAMMIT
>>
>>46404397
FOOD
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
>>
>>46404399
Not big enough.
>>
>>46404397
>[x] Recreation. A shuffleboard court cures ALL ills. And polo, too. Who doesn't like polo? Fags and Welshmen, that's who.
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
"You have any steak?"
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
>>
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>>46404368

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lippisch_P.13a

As usual, it's too fucking insane to actually make up.

>>46404399
>Wait. Is that Hate's fucking frankengun?

You have no fucking idea how much I wish that was so. But it's not. That's right out of goddamn Strike Witches, Season 2.

They were on CRACK when they made this show.
>>
>>46404399
No, it's from the Strike Witches OVA.
>>
>>46404397
>[X] Recreation. A shuffleboard court cures ALL ills. And polo, too. Who doesn't like polo? Fags and Welshmen, that's who.

>From the rafters above dangles a cow. A cow that is dangling by its *own tail,* carefully wrapped around the beam. It lets its head dangle to bring its wide, brown eyes to bear on you - and unleashes a quiet, steely *hissssssss* that slithers down your spine.

okay the fuck is that thing
>>
>>46404399
More like its spiritual ancestor

>>46404397
[x] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.

How did Shirley lose her top and how did the Glorious sight not be beheld?

I do have a theory on this: This is Batlead's ancestor at Barin.
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
>>
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>>46404397
>[x] Actually I have some questions first!

"Is Shirley single?"
>>
>>46404449
http://www.luft46.com/
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.

I love how this turned into SWQ. The only question is if it's going to be archived with the SWQ threads or the KCQ threads.

That's if it's even archived of course.
>>
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>>46404449
>https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lippisch_P.13a

>The aircraft never made it past the drawing board, but testing of wind-tunnel models in the DVL high-speed wind tunnel showed that the design had extraordinary stability into the Mach 2.6 range.

what the fuuuuuuuck
>>
>>46404463
>not knowing hellcow
>>
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>>46404463
BEHOLD, GENTLEMEN, HELLCOW, SAVIOR OF THE UNIVERSE
>>
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>>46404463
>okay the fuck is that thing

So I just opened my mouth to try and actually describe HellCow for you, and discovered... there really is no god damned way to describe it. So just... appreciate the phenomena, as our viewpoint character England von Britbong the Third does. That... pretty much sums it up, I think.
>>
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>>46404397
>[x] Actually I have some questions first!
how do i get outta this chickenshit outfit?
>>
>>46404463
Hellcow.

Just read SWQ:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=strike%20witches
>>46404464
>I do have a theory on this: This is Batlead's ancestor at Barin.
Different universes dude.
>>
>>46404486
>"Is Shirley single?"
As per the last SWQ thread, she's got a harem of prep school boys now.
>>
>>46404538
Doesn't mean there can't be an ancestor there; different universes can have the same person. Thus odds are there is a Settle in the SWQ89 verse.

>>46404540
This seems to ignore that last stretch though.
>>
>>46404397
>[X] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
Also alcohol.
>>
>>46404540
I say we go for it. FORTUNE FAVORS THE BOLD
>>
>>46404507
Why would this be archived with KCQ? This is obviously not Batlead and there's no connection between the two quests other then planefag.
>>
>>46404575
That's a good thing. The last thread ended going in a stupid direction.
>>
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>>46404540
WEW LAD
>>
>>46404618
>a stupid direction
Welcome to Bureaucracy (tm)
>>
>>46404397
>[x] Actually I have some questions first!
>"Is Shirley single?"

If we're doin' this, then by god we'll go all the fucking way.

You chose this Planefag.

YOU CHOSE THIS.
>>
>>46404656
What? It's true!
Didn't she call Minna to say she crashed into an all-boys boarding school?
>>
>>46404397
>[ ] ... grub. I need grub right now. Right the fuck now.
>>
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>>46404540
>>46404656
>tfw you'll never be a prep school boy in the school where Shirley ended up
>tfw you'll never be fucked half to death by a lusty American slutwitch
>tfw she'll never threaten your best friend with a wrench if he doesn't have sex with her
>>
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>>46404681
I'm not saying it isn't true, I'm just saying WEW LAD.
>>
>>46404659
I mean the last thread, with Georgette awkwardly asking how Young proposed to Minna. That shit was cringey as fuck.
>>
Why aren't these girls wearing any pants?
>>
>>46404749
I thought the last thread ended with is punching out a Kennedy
>>
>>46404773
easy access, duh.
>>
>>46404773
Same reason there's a cow that can hiss.

Just because.
>>
>>46404791
Pffft, you're way behind, bro.

Deme updated SWQ in November 2014, yaknow.

>>46404749
It's young!Georgette.
She's still fairly innocent to this shit.
>>
>>46404791
No, it went on for quite awhile after that. I think the last thread ended with Sean and his brother about to fight the D-Day bagpiper and Lord Lovett.
>>
>>46404839
Yep, but aside from that.
>Georgette awkwardly asks Young about his relationship with Minna
>Shirley calls to tell her condition
>Lynette is angry at us
>>
>>46404822
>It's young!Georgette.
>She's still fairly innocent to this shit.

The fuck?
>>
VOTES CALLED
>>
I wasn't sure what I was walking into when I first saw all this but ah well, I have arrived. However many hours late it may be and I can not WAIT for this formatting to go away and trips to come back because it is not easy to ctrl+f planefag when it's not there to find.
>>
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>Planefag's number of posts is already many times the number we get in MULTIPLE threads.

Goddamn why can't it be April 1st every day? You should just turn SWQ into a slice of life and write whatever bullshit you want whenever you're not feeling up to a KCQ.
>>
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>>46404914

Someone let Death By Chains know I'll send him my own personal document (I write the quest into a regular document then copy-paste to post) if and when he needs it.
>>
>>46404888
>Lynette
>angry
More like scared. We did fuck Cupcake right in front of her and Yoshika
>>
>>46404888
I do remember all of that. I'm probably getting thing mixed up because it was 2 YEARS AGO HOLY FUCK WHAT HAPPENED TO MY LIFE
>>
>>46404942
Hooah.
>>
>>46404888
Yeah, but didn't that happen before the Kent family reunion?
>>
>>46404969
>2 years ago
It was last year.
>>
>>46402291
If it's a Cirno omake, that would be the best thing ever.
>>
>>46404897
NOT SMUG ENOUGH
>>
>>46405000
2015 was last year...
>>
>>46405042
2015 was four years ago, dude
>>
>>46405155
>2015 was four years ago
>Still no news about LA
>>
>>46405042
2015 is so last century
>>
>>46405183
LA was an inside job
>>
>>46405201
ABYSSALS CAN'T SINK STEEL FRIGATES
>>
>>46405226
IOWA DID LA
>>
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>>46405226
>>46405201
ABYSSAL AKBAR
>>
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>>46405243
>IOWA DID LA
Too far, mate.
>>
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>>46405285
Dead bodies can't get pregnant
>>
>>46405329
>Implying he's dead
CHAR WILL MAKE ZEON GREAT AGAIN
>>
>>46404942 (planefag)
Oh, he's here to see it himself, demetrious. (And talking about himself in the third person, for some goddamn reason.)
I'll PM you my e-mail address on SB.com.
>>
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Threadly reminder that Lexington is stacked.
>>
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I'm filled with so many questions right now.
>>
>>46405545
then read SWQ, the archive link is here
>>46404538
>>
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“The mess,” you say sternly.

Young nods. “Right. A man can put up with nearly anything if he's got good enough eats.”

“Even the hissing demon cow?”

“Yes now shut up and keep walking,” he grumbles. “So who are you with right now?”

“Beaufighter squadron based in Sardinia,” you explain, “but they keep sending us on weekend trips to every damned ten-dollar grass strip on the coastline. You wouldn't believe the rocky little shit-spit islands they're building strips on.”

“Kick the seagulls off and move in?”

“I fucking wish. The damn gulls just stick around - we have to fire a machine gun over the damned runway to clear them out before every take-off and landing.” You follow Young outside, strolling between the big hangars on your way back to the jeep. “Oh. By the way.”

“Yeah?”

“Is Shirley single?”

“Significant other, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, yeah,” Young says. “And she's not the only one. Most of the witches in this loony-CATION are single,” he says enthusiastically. “And of course they're cute, and they don't wear pants so it's nothing but long lovely legs all day long, and the food's great, so what's not to like?”

“The hissing demon cows,” you guess.

“ARGH!”

“What?” you say with a shrug. “I'm curious. And the man literally walking on the ceiling-”

“NGHAAA!”

“I WANT TO KNOW!” you object.

“NO!” Young exclaims as he pops the hood of the Jeep. “YOU MUSN'T!”
>>
“Why not?”

“Because this fantasyland of cute girls and endless awesome grub and the latest greatest toys the combined forces of humanity have to offer is sustained by secrets,” he says sternly as he replaces the distributor cap and slams the hood closed. “Serious secrets! STATE secrets!” He starts the jeep as you plop into the passenger seat. “So constrain your curiosity and learn these things the way I did, one poor decision and physical assault at a god-damned TIME!” He pops the clutch and goes tearing away across the ground again, power-sliding across the courtyard just because he can. He lurches to a halt beside the double doors to the Castle, gives them a longing look, then reluctantly shuts off the jeep. “Come, come, I'll show you the kitchen.”

He pumps you for information on your exploits as you traverse the wide, spacious hallways of... whatever goddamned place this is. You didn't even know the Italians *built* castles outside of Roman hill-forts. Maybe it's Arabian or something. Young is suitably impressed by your kill-count, and notes his is somewhat higher, which you know is bait to reel you into accepting a transfer to this lunatic asylum, just to one-up him. You nod noncommittally and reply cooly - you can shoot down Martians anywhere you go. But food? Food is the great equalizer. The quality of the grub - that's the thing. That is always THE thing. A good game of darts helps, a shuffleboard court is balm for the soul and a polo course is simply sublime, but food is first and foremost in any young fighter pilot's heart.
>>
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Young knows this. “We got everything,” he says happily. “Land routes through the south of France opened up recently, but we've been getting supplies by ship from day one down here; the Martians don't dare poke their heads out of Iberia anymore since Saratoga was added to the escorts. You might fuck with a CVE, but not a CV.”

“So the Navy fliers are doing okay, then?”

“Now that they've embraced their natural role as deliverymen? Of course.”

You smirk. You'd have sympathy for his inter-service rivalries, if the Fleet Air Arm actually mattered at all. “Delivering bombs?”

“Oh, no,” Young objects. “Have you SEEN how many cans of beer fit in a Corsair's gun bays?”

“... don't they need those for the, uh, guns?”

“Two Brownings,” Young opines stuffily, “are enough for anyone. Anyways -” he points at the double doors ahead - “the kitchen! The home of culinary wonders the likes of which you haven't seen since you were last in America!”

“I've never been to America.”

“THEN PREP YOUR FACE FOR THE REVELATION OF GODDAMNED NIRVANA, MY BONG BROTHER!” he declares, obviously confident in the Castle's kitchen. Why wouldn't he be? The place is posh as hell. He flings wide the doors and strides in triumphantly.

He pales instantly. “Oh no.”
Two men in the resplendent and well-bedecked outfits of high-ranking officers are peering at a map. The one on the left you recognize as the American tanker, Patton, but the one in the dashing coat and hat is a stranger.
>>
>>46405600
No, I've read all of SWQ. And that's the problem.

Oh Deme, you've done it yet again.
>>
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Patton picks up a small tank model and moves it somewhere on the north coast of Africa.

“Nein,” his partner declines.

He moves it back.

“Nein.”

He moves it closer to Egypt.

“Nein.”

He moves it to western Libya.

“Nein.”

Young is tiptoeing across the dining room towards the double doors of a large kitchen, hustling you along sideways as a human shield. Patton sighs, leans back in his seat with a sigh, and catches sight of you over his compatriots shoulder.

“Who the devil are you?” he demands, eyes growing sharp and piercing.

[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
[ ] *Devil,* he says? Did he just say *devil?* Ask him to repeat the question.
[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
>>
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>>46405617
>muffled KININARIMASU in the distance

>>46405683
We're Limey? Dafuq?
>>
>>46405714

Beaufighter pilot!
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
>>
>>46405683
>Two men in the resplendent and well-bedecked outfits of high-ranking officers are peering at a map. The one on the left you recognize as the American tanker, Patton, but the one in the dashing coat and hat is a stranger.

ROMMEL VS PATTON

FIGHT
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
CV'S ARE TOTALLY FOR LEWDSSSSSS
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
Patton would be proud.
>>
>>46405699
[X] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
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>>46405771
>That's smalltime. I once rammed an M4 up a martian spider tank's ass then started whistling Garyowen while i shot them with my revolvers.
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
WHAT ROCK?
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
>>46405699
>[x] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
>>46405699
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.

"I'm pretty sure that's how most people get here though. So it's cool."
>>
>>46405699
>[X] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
Might as well start trying to fit in, and proving how insane you are by mouthing off to a general and casually tossing off a display of your 1337 pilotan skillz will make you look like just another part of the resident madness.
>>
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>>46405699
>Patton picks up a small tank model and moves it somewhere on the north coast of Africa.
>“Nein,” his partner declines.
Oh Rommel, if only you knew how Operation Torch would go in SWQ you wouldn't be protesting.
>>
[X] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
I'm surprised the Neon Samurai aren't out yet.
>>
>>46404917
This guy has the wrote idea. Do it Plamefag. DO IT!
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] WHAT SHIP!?
>>
>>46405986
That was in protest against Malory, and if I remember correctly, he got chased off the island.

The Neon Samurai are not needed at the moment, but they remain on silent watch. In case they are needed again.
>>
>>46405699
>[x] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.

"That's the devil I am, I guess."
>>
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>>46406076
The NEON SAMURAI watches over all
>>
VOTES CALLED
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] *Devil,* he says? Did he just say *devil?* Ask him to repeat the question.
>>
>>46402441
I like Kota
>>
>>46406417
please don't lie
>>
>>46406417
Of course Kota likes Kota.
>>
Seems we'll have to cehck twitter to find the next page.
>>
>>46405699
>[ ] I planted half a burning Beaufighter into the side of the castle, so they're giving me lunch.
>>
>>46406679

just finished update, may as well put it up in a new thread
>>
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>>46406869
Yay!
>>
>>46406917

SHE UP
>>
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God I've missed this.



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