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/tg/ - Traditional Games

Kept you waiting, huh?


Twitter: https://twitter.com/?lang=en

This is a work of fiction. It doesn’t necessarily represent nor portray the state of the industry or the beliefs of the Author
Any reference to pre-existing work of fiction is to be considered entirely coincidental (that’s what my lawyer advised me to say).

No character is speaking on the behalf of the author. Their moral considerations as well as their beliefs regarding the social, religious and political sphere are representative only of the characters themselves.

If you consider entering this quest a gamble, the author can’t guarantee that the expect value will be large enough to win over the natural risk aversion you might feel. There are no certainty equivalents either.

I can’t promise you’ll have fun. I can promise however that I will try to make this fun. I am responsive to the audience and I will try accommodate most requests.

As usual we begin on the next post
“See, Outer? The importance of the quest lies in the questing itself. It wouldn’t have felt half as satisfactory if I just blurted out the solution”
The Warrior is flashing his brightest smile, in front of a jug of beer roughly as big as his own head.

The Tavern is desolate as usual, there’s no one around besides you, the Warrior, the Priest, and the Innkeeper, who had just served the Warrior his drink.

“Look, I am all for ‘live and let live’, but it’s 8 am. Are you sure it’s a good moment to drink beer?”, you ask meekly.
“OF COURSH”, he answers without a second of hesitation. “Might very well be the last day of my life. You can never tell when the Grim Reaper will come for you, now can you? So it’s better to be safe than sorry”

“Well even if that is the case, I must correct you on something. I didn’t find the solution on my own. Sir As Dark As My Soul threw me a bone”
“Hm, that might certainly be so”, he says while nodding. “Yet you put the pieces of the puzzle together. That’s what my teacher used to say: observe, analyze, then act!”

Those words sound somewhat familiar to you, but you decide to brush it off.
“Right, right. So you will come this time, won’t you?”
“I guess I have to. After all, the pride of a warrior means nothing if he doesn’t keep his word”
You breathe a sigh of relief. The dude blocking the entrance is simply to big and too strong to be dealt with on your own.
“Good, let’s leave when you’re done with your beer”

“You mean right now”, the Warrior responds.
“No I mean…”
You have no time to finish the sentence.
The Warrior raised the beer jug above his head and is gulping it down in one swing.

After a few minutes, he slams it down and gasps for air.
“See… told you… we’re leaving now”
“That wasn’t necessary”
“Ah, pay him no mind, Outer”, the Priest says. “It’s a character trait of most Shounen archetypes, the lust of challenge.”

“I didn’t challenge him either”
“He felt challenged by the circumstances”
‘What a troublesome person’, you think, scratching your head

“Very well, so we’re heading out”, you say confidently, heading for the door. The Priest is following you shortly behind, while the Warrior is investigating his pockets for spare coins.

As soon as you open the door, you’re greeted by an unusual sight.
A barely dressed girl, with cat ears and a long, fluffy tail is sleeping in front of the inn.
You gaze at the creature with contempt.

“Huh, what should I do with this, Priest?”
You turn around to see him shrugging. Guess it’s up to you after all.

>Try to wake it up
>Ignore it
>Report it to the Innkeeper.
>>Ignore it
Filthy animal. Not even a Lizard girl, for gods sake.
Kick it
QM, are you here?
Jesus Christ slow thread today.
I am a fag

You move in closer to the strange creature. It looks like a strange cat-girl mix.
“Wow, you anime folks sure need some bioethics”, you comment.
The creature is having some problems sleeping.

It is shuddering, shivering, and mumbling, maybe because it is feeling cold.
You try to move past it, but a weird sound coming from the mutt catches you off guard.
Turning around, you see the catgirl still trembling in her sleep.

“I was worried for a second there”, you say, before trying to move past it once again.
Then a paw reaches for you, stopping you right in your tracks.
It is firmly grasping your leg, giving you no chance to move.

“Hey, let me go!”, you shout in annoyance.
It’s no use: the catgirl is sleeping now more soundly than ever.
“Let me go, I said!”

Blinded rage, you kick the girl in the stomach.
She slowly moves away from you, still in drowsiness, trying to get up.
She looks fairly attractive, with wavy blonde hair and a womanly figure accentuated by her short clothing.

“Aaw… aawh… Master…”
She looks fairly confused, if not outright pained. The thought that you might be the cause she’s in pain hurts you.
“Priest, what the hell is going on?”

“Wh-why’d you think I’d know? Goddess know what this harlot has been up to”
“Well she sure isn’t properly dressed, but let’s at the very least give her the benefit of the doubt”
“Catgirls are filthy, Outer! Filthy, I am telling you!”

The girl is barely standing on her feet, massaging her forehead with her eyes close
“Hungover, huh? Been there, done that”, you say awkwardly, trying to break the ice.
Yet the girl is not minding you in the least.
“Stand behind, Outer! That thing is dangerous!”, the Priest calls out to you.
“Relax, what’s the worse that can happen?”
“Well I can envision a lot of bad consequences”

“Stop jinxing it, dude”
The girl moves a few uncertain steps towards you, her arms outstretched.

>pull her close to you
>dodge her
>grab her hands and pull her away
>>dodge her
No touch.
I would like to apologize for the slow thread today.
Shit came up in real life.
I also noticed that my twitter isn't properly linked, so here you go.
>dodge her
>>dodge her
Like the magic girl all over again.
The girl stumbles towards you, moaning in pain.
Distressed by the situation, you dodge her stepping aside and turning 180 degrees.
Not in the least discouraged, she turns around staggering in your direction once more.

Yet again you dodge her relying on your subpar reflexes, which are nevertheless good enough to avoid physical contact with a lewdly dressed drunkard catgirl.
But at that very moment, the Warrior walks out of the bar smiling happily, and the catgirl crashes straight into him

“Oi little one, are you doing ok?”, he asks, while the girl leans on him.
Her stomach makes a strange noise, and then…
“Bleurgh!” the girl pukes her soul out over the Warrior.

He takes a few steps backwards, with the vomit dripping over his sculpted body.
The girl collapses, soiling herself in the process.
“See, Outer? I told you catgirls were filthy”

“Oh. So you didn’t mean it, like, in a sexual connotation”
“No, I was being as literal as ever. Vomiting, open defecation and the destruction of furniture are common happenstances around such creatures”

“Right. I guess Outers tend to have a more rosy vision of them”. You turn to the Warrior. “You ok there buddy? Sorry, there wasn’t a lot I could do to help”
He motions with his hand as if to say ‘Don’t worry, it’s alright’. “Would you guys mind if I were to take a shower? I am not exactly in the… ehm… right condition to fight”

“Ah, go ahead”, you say tossing him your room key. “Grab some tissue paper on your way there. The last thing we need is an angry innkeeper”
He grabs the key mid-air, then nods to you in acknowledgement and heads back into the Inn.

The girl is still laying on the ground, in a puddle made of her own filth.
“Hate to say this, but better to him than to me. I mean he’s half naked anyway, if she puked on me we’d have a problem. I have no spare clothes”

“Oh, I actually have some extra robes on me”
“Yeah no thanks, I don’t want to look like the least desirable creature in the entire Universe”
The Priest glances at you sarcastically, responding non-verbally to your banter. You’re sure it’s something along the lines of ‘You can’t look any worse than you do right now’.
“More importantly”, he asks. “What should we do with the girl?”

>Leave her where she is
>Notify the Innkeeper about it
>Try to help her out.
>>Notify the Innkeeper about it
Fucking Catgirls.
>>Notify the Innkeeper about it

I feel bad about voting to kick her now.
it was not your fault, you'll see next thread
>Notify the Innkeeper about it
Absolutely filthy.

“I don’t particularly care about her but I do believe we should tell the Innkeeper. After all the girl has been… ‘releasing’ herself in front of his property, the least we can do is telling him”
The Priest nods in assent, but doesn’t budge an inch.

You stare at him, and he stares back at you.
“I get it, I get it, I will do it!”, you say, exasperated.
’Sometimes that Priest can be a brickhead! Then again, it’s not like he doesn’t know what’s best’

You walk to the counter, where the innkeeper is drying his mugs and jugs.
“Hate to break it to you, sir, but we had a… situation right in front of your tavern”
“Aye, the big guy told me. Fucking catgirls, I never liked them and I will never like them.”

“What are you planning to do?”
“I called the police. Can’t wait until they pick up that mongrel and throw her in prison”
“Wow, she’s going to prison? Ain’t that a bit too much”

“Beats me”, he says, shrugging. “But the law is the law. She should count herself lucky I won’t be suing for damages”.
“Hm.” You scratch your chin, deep in your thoughts, then you speak up once more. “Do you happen to have pen and paper, by any chance?”

“Uhh, yes. What for?”
“Oh I just need to take notes”
The Innkeeper gives you a quizzical look, then hands over a piece of scrap paper and a pen whose upper part has been chewed on.

Not without disgust you write down what seems to be the rule around here.
“Cute things suck”
‘Hm, no, I need to think this over’

Taking the pen in your hand once again, you write on the piece of scrap paper: ‘Stay away from cute things’
‘Now that should be it’, you think, satisfied.

You fold the note and put it in your pocket.
“Thank you, and see you later… hopefully”
You turn around and head for the exit, just to be assaulted on your way to the door.
“Onii-! I mean, Broooo!”
The familiar voice screaming your name comes from behind you, and is clinging on your shoulders before you have time to turn around.

“Look Princess, I have no time for this shit today, especially not after what happened with that catgirl”
“Eh?” The crossdresser gets down, looking at you as if she’s in the verge of crying.
“So… I am not Bro’s wife anymore?”

“When did I say anything like that? In fact, when did I say you were my wife?”
“I see”, he says, looking thoroughly dejected. “You have a new girl now”
“No I don’t! That… thing! Almost puked all over me! And I am glad the police is coming to retrieve her”

A flash passes through Princess’s eyes. “Bro… can I have her?”
“Have her? I mean she’s half cat, but she looks sentient enough, I can’t just sell her to you.”
“No, I mean I will host her in my room. I will take really good care of her, I promise!”

>”Are you mentally retarded?”
>”Do whatever you want, I don’t care”
>>”Do whatever you want, I don’t care”
His problem now.
>>”Do whatever you want, I don’t care”

Maybe he'll stop liking hitting on dudes with a slutty cat girl in his room
>”Are you mentally retarded?”
Called it.

RIP mental retardation anon, he hated the trap more than anyone else.
I hate all fucking traps.

Well, maybe a reverse trap....
NO, ALL TRAPS DIE. If you allow one in the tide will never stop.
I am posting a somewhat shorter update because otherwise it would get too long. I am already over 4000 characters, so I will break this up

You widen your arms and shrug as hard as you can.
“I couldn’t possibly be giving less of a fuck right now. It’s not my problem, talk with the innkeeper, talk with the catgirl, talk with the police”

In the middle of your speech, the Warrior comes down from the stairs.
“Well that was quick. I am out of here, see ya!”, you say, not even bothering to wave at him
The warrior quickly catches up with you, and you exit the tavern pretty much at the same time.

“Are we ready to go?”, the Priest asks.
“I am. Are you, Warrior?”
“As ready as ready can be”, he says enthusiastically.

“What of the catgirl? She’s still laying in front of the door”, the Priest inquires, pointing to the alluring frame resting a few steps away from the entrance to the inn.
“The Innkeeper called the police. Sweet Dreams Princess says he wants to keep her. I have no idea what that little pest is planning, but maybe it’s gonna be his chance to fuck the gay away”

The Priest gives you a worried look.
“What is it, Baptism Man? Speak up”
“Oh, nothing really. Just worried that we will come back from the fight with our bones broken and with two pests rather than one in our hotel”

You sigh. “You’re totally jinxing it, Priest. As for me, I sure hope there’s a timeskip now, because there’s literally nothing I want less than riding on the metro AGAIN”

But there’s no timeskip in real life, so you’re stuck in the metro against your will once again.
You fill the Warrior in about what happened the previous day, including the little magical girl #2 accident.

“I see, I see. But what about the fighting dude you met there? Was he… evil?”

>I have no idea
>Not really
>>I have no idea
Edge is edge, evil or good.
>I have no idea

Fuck the gay away? That'd be fucking amazing.
>>I have no idea

That line was amazing

The question takes you by surprise. In all honesty, you can’t say that.
“He didn’t look evil. He just looked… extravagant.”

The Warrior nods. He’s thinking of something, something he doesn’t feel like sharing.
His moral code is somewhat ambiguous to understand, but so far he’s done nothing to harm you.
There’s little reason to suspect of him.

Finally, you reach the end of the line.
Even if it’s still morning, no one is around.
You get off the metro and head towards the exit from the station.
The other fighter you had met just one day before wasn’t anywhere to be seen.

“This is strange”, you comment. “No one is around. Must be that I fulfilled the condition: I brought a Warrior true and blue with me, and the passage was unlocked”
You climb the stairs that lead outdoor, the sun blinding you and your companions.

As soon as your eyes adjust to the intense daylight, you realize you’re in some sort of a canyon.
The end of the line is literally in the middle of nowhere.
“What the hell is this place?”

“Surprised, Outer? This is the fighting arena I arranged for us!”
A familiar voice comes from the top of one of the small rocky hill not too far from where you’re standing.
It’s that guy again.

He’s barely dressed, just like the Warrior, wearing only white trousers, a red bandana around his forehead and sunglasses.
“You’ve finally come to this fateful fight! But tell me, will you really entrust your destiny to this warrior?”, he asks, pointing at the massive figure next to you.

“That was the idea”
“Because if I fight you, you will break every single one of my bones. Even those I don’t know of”

“Quit your blathering!”, the Warrior says, which makes you wonder how a Warrior like him even knows of the word ‘blathering’
“You wanted a pure-hearted fighter to duel with, and you’ve got it. You have no reasons to complain”
The weird guy assumes one of his weird poses again, and gives you a derisive smile.
“Very well then. Let’s fight!”
The combatants lunge at each other at a physics-defying speed, exchanging blow after blow.

It makes you uncomfortable to admit it, but the weird dude’s word weigh heavy on your mind. ‘Trusting your friends is good, trusting yourself is even better’: is this what he meant?
You have to deal with an increasing and discomforting sense of uselessness.

Learn their fighting style.
For a while, that obnoxious sense of futility gets the better of you.
There’s nothing you could do, even if you wanted to.
Fighting means suicide, not fighting means giving in to this feeling.

You try to watch the warriors fight. No one really has an edge over the other, the match seems quite balanced. There’s nothing you can gain at this point from simply observing.
You can’t analyze their fighting style just at a glance.

But there’s something else a thickhead like yourself can analyze: your surroundings.
No, not the canyon per se. Not even the metro statio.
No, it’s the Shounen world in itself that should be the subject of your analysis.

What does this mean? Why do people like watching other people fight? Gladiators are a thing of the past, yet it looks like man hasn’t lost his taste for this kind of entertainment.
Could there be purely Schadenfreude behind this medium?

“Priest, can you tell me what usually happens in a Shounen Anime?”
“The plots rarely are complicated. It’s often about this one kid who is special and sets out to fight evil, learning new techniques as he goes on in his journey”
“New techniques?”
“You could call them power-ups”

That’s it. That’s the key point you were missing.
A power-up. That’s the meaning behind these chinese cartoons: the idea of fighting, giving it your best, being defeated, and rising up once again.
No matter if it is set in space or in high school, on a football field or in the Middle Ages: what matters is the effort, the will to challenge yourself and rise above the obstacles.

This is a feeling every human being can relate to, regardless of his creed, age, or race. The desire of moving forward, the strength not to give up.
That’s what lies at the heart of this world.
“Outer, you… you’re changing!”
You look in shock at yourself. Your body is slowly but steadily becoming more bulky.
A sudden pain makes you bend on your knee, a splitting headache takes your sight away and for an instant all you see is white.

Your mind is being overloaded with informations about martial arts and fighting styles, as you feel your muscles reaching the peak of their potential.
“Outer, you have self-inserted!” the Priest cries, surprised and terrorized in equal parts.

“Self… Inserted, huh?”
“Yes. It’s not uncommon for Outers to identify with characters in anime, but you’ve taken it one step forward. You’ve resonated on a deeper level with your surroundings, literally inserting yourself inside them!”

There’s no more trace of that feeling of uselessness. It’s up to you what to do next.
>turn inside out and gobble like a chicken begging for death's sweet release
wew lad

Didn't see this coming

While you’re sure that your odds have significantly improved, you are not exactly brimming with confidence either.
Surely raw power can’t be enough to defeat your opponent: blows are being dealt using technique and style, something you can’t make up for with pure strength.

You observe the two fighting: they’re well past their prime, and while they won’t reach their limit anytime soon, they’re starting to tire out.
Watching them doesn’t elicit deep feelings from you anymore: it’s like watching a movie you’ve already seen 4 times at the very least.

Every single move seems predictable to you. Every step seems trivial. It’s a knowledge you’ve absorbed in an instant, but feels centuries old.
And yet, what is it that keeps you away from the fight?
“You’re doubting yourself, aren’t you, Outer?”

The Priest says so nonchalantly, reading right through you.
“I guess I am. I feel like I am damned if I do, and damned if I don’t”
“I won’t tell you to go and fight. But I will tell you this: don’t go until you are ready to commit to the last. Anything else simply won’t do”

You nod. In a place like this, there’s no room for compromise, no room for hesitation: there’s do, and there’s don’t, there’s believing and there’s doubting. Tertium non datur.

>”This is not my fight”

Yes. YES!

I don't know what this means!
Enlighten yourself, anon.
At times, big problems call for small solutions.
A small step forward.
A short glance at your friend, who takes his cue from you.
The small window of time in which the opponent is confused and dazed.

Then it’s your moment to act. Guarding his incoming kick, then responding with an uppercut.
His style focuses on powerful blows, but leaves his guard wide open.
At this point, any mistake is fatal, given how reckless and savage his technique is.

You guard and wait for your chance, as patience and time are on your side.
He’s fresh from the fight, while you just jumped in. It’s just a matter of time before he slips.
And he does: he commits too much to his powerful blow, you dodge it, and prepare to retaliate.
It’s your chance: you hit him with a jab to his jaw, then you roundhouse kick him in his face.

And finally, a single, refined and precise punch, right in the opponent’s guts.
The weird guys shouts in pain, before folding in two on the ground.
“Sorry for taking so long”, you say. “I was figuring some stuff out”

“No problem”, the enemy says, barely wheezing. “The important thing is that you understood.”
You kneel besides him and help him sit straight.
“I guess that was not very chivalrous of me. I will blame it on the fact that I am a foreigner”

The weird guy shakes his head. “No, it’s alright, I guess this is what your friend wanted from the beginning too. It’s much more shameful to let someone else fight your own battles”
“Alright. I am sorry to cut to the chase, but I myself am not sure of why this land is in danger”

“You see, the manga artists who draw Shounen never put an end to their sagas. While they preach noble virtues, they’re afraid that giving a conclusion to their works will also mean the end of their career. Thus, we are kept alive longer than other series artificially. A land with no death, that craves for release”
It appears obvious to you now: these people would rather die with their heads held up high than live without pride.
The weird guy fidgets with his pocket before producing what looks like the base of a compass.
“This belongs to you. You’ve sought enlightenment with an open heart, and you’ve deserved it. Now it’s up to you to save this place”

“So you didn’t want to kill me?”
“Outer, how many times have I told you?” This time it’s the Warrior’s voice that reproaches you.
“The purpose of questing is finding purpose in your quest. I could have simply lead you here. He could have simply given you the base of the compass. But if we did, would you have realized that this world is worth saving?”

They are right. You thought of this as a chore, not as a noble cause. Maybe having to find your own answers was a much more relevant aspect of your task than you had anticipated.
“Probably not. Thank you, Warrior. Thank you, Weird Guy. I will make sure not to disappoint you”

Your bulky body turns back into normal, and all the martial arts you mastered simply vanish from your brain.
“I am not done yet. But I am halfway there. Oh, and one more thing, Weird Guy”
“Could you please stop calling me like that?”
“Uh… sure. Anyway, how comes this metro station is always so deserted?”

“It’s not always deserted. I just arranged for it to be. I am the Minister of Transportation, after all!”
“Is that so? Guess I’ve found your name, after all”
Around you, the dust from the fight is settling.
From the smokes emerges one silent figure.

A knight completely clad in an argent armor, with an intricate shield in left arm and a masterfully forged blade hanging on his right side.
It is a moment that lasts for an eternity.
Then, silently, he raises his right arm and gives you a thumbs-up.

Half of the prophecy has been fulfilled: embark on a journey to seek the place that abhors life and thrives off death, surrounded by dubious allies and powerful enemies.

And also hopefully next time the QM will have less normieshit-tier problems

Thanks for running.
checked, son.

While we're at it, I think I might run again on sunday.

I will let you know on the thread/twitter.
See you next time, Author. Hopefully the normies don't get to you.
god speed

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