>Archive links:http://archive.4plebs.org/tg/search/subject/Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20Quest/type/op/order/asc/http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive.html?tags=Hyperdimension%20Dwarf%20Fortress%20QuestTwitter: http://twitter.com/BlorpQuestAsk.fm: http://ask.fm/BlorpQuestYou are Urist Twelfthbay. You are the moe personification of Dwarf Fortress. You are a short, sturdy creature fond of drink and industry.You have, in your hubris, all but ruined the fundamental concepts of time and space, and possibly also cause and effect, as they apply to the nation of Planeptune (aka all things Sega). Currently, the cityscape is undergoing instant remodeling as Neptune turns the trousers of time inside out, retroactively ensuring that previously rejected building plans have always existed for many years since just now.See, you wanted to impress the goddess's minder by giving said goddess the power to complete paperwork without actually having to do it in the first place. And... well, it /worked/. Y'know, after a fashion. Kind of.Alright, so you can safely say you've never seen Neptune look so focused before. Sure, she's vacantly staring into the middle distance with a faintly worrying smile on her face, but she IS getting paperwork done. In a physically and temporally impossible manner, but it's the thought that counts.What probably counts more is the fact that Neptune's efforts have attracted the unwanted attention of one of her rival goddesses, Noire of Lastation, who's flying a beeline right for this building, armed for bear. From the guards' guesstimations, she'll be here in a matter of minutes, and no, she's probably not just making a social call.... you could really go for a drink right now.(Cont.)
>>47948283IF curses under her breath, releasing your wrists and letting you stagger to the ground as she turns toward the guard. "Fine. Take me to the Basilicom's entrance. I'll go see what she wants." Her bleak tone of voice tells you just what she thinks of her chances against this kinda divine wrath. "As for you... fix this."Your heart drops to your stomach. Fix- what, fix /Neptune/?Iffy's lips purse into a tight, disapproving line. "I don't know what you did to her. I don't think you do, either. But if we don't have at least a partially functioning Neptune by the time Noire gets here, then we're going to be in for a bad time, and I will hold you personally responsible," she deadpans. "Do we have an understanding?"The trenchcoat-wearing girl doesn't wait for your response before stalking from the room, leaving you staring at Neptune and her paperwork. The sound of signatures being scribbled and sheafs of paper being shuffled fills your ears, impossibly loud as decades worth of documents continue to be retroactively or prospectively filled out.Right.... right.Time to un-fuck yourself.>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:[ ] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effects.[ ] [DF HACK] got you into this mess, so by Armok it's going to get you OUT of this mess. Shut down her current job, alter its parameters, or outright change it... with ill-defined hacking.[ ] [BOOKKEEPER] skills ought to untangle whatever loop Neptune's gotten herself stuck in. Pitch in with your own paperwork abilities and see if you can't either stop her or finish the paperwork before she can.[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] Nope nope nope nope. You've got a bad feeling about this; grab Neptune, grab Nepgear, and pull out to a safer location. Either you'll save all your asses or divert Noire's attention away from the Basilicom.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>47948317> [EGGPLANT] Something with eggplantsFailing that> [INTERRUPT]
>>47948317>[ ] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effectsOH GOD OH GOD OH GODBlorp is on time-ish.
>>47948317>[X] [BOOKKEEPER] skills ought to untangle whatever loop Neptune's gotten herself stuck in. Pitch in with your own paperwork abilities and see if you can't either stop her or finish the paperwork before she can.
>>47948340Seconding eggplants, though try not to let nepgear see
>>47948317>[X] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effects.
>>47948317>[ ] [DF HACK] got you into this mess, so by Armok it's going to get you OUT of this mess. Shut down her current job, alter its parameters, or outright change it... with ill-defined hacking.IT'LL WORK EVENTUALLY!
>>47948377Isn't she still asleep in the medical wing or something?
Yay, Dwarf time, right on schedule!>>47948317[PUNCH HER IN THE FACE]Invoke a (Neptune Cancels Bookkeeping: Under Attack) response.
>[X] [DF HACK] got you into this mess, so by Armok it's going to get you OUT of this mess. Shut down her current job, alter its parameters, or outright change it... with ill-defined hacking.Yes, this will (not) work.
>>47948317>[x] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effects.Sometimes the simple solutions are the best, even for a dwarf. And for good measure, turn Neptune's bookkeeper labor off through Dwarf Therapist.
>>47948365Well, one reschedule and 20 minutes late. So yeah, practically early by Dorf Fort Quest standards.
>>47948317[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] Nope nope nope nope. You've got a bad feeling about this; grab Neptune, grab Nepgear, and pull out to a safer location. Either you'll save all your asses or divert Noire's attention away from the Basilicom.
>>47948317>[ ] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effects.No more DF-Hack for now
>>47948430Yeah, if it was usual Blorp time, we'd have to wait a week to a month for this.
>>47948317Just slap her a few times.
>>47948317Use BOOZEAll Booze into neptune ITS THE ONLY WAY
>>47948400True, but Gamindustri laws will always find a way to mortally embarrass Ulrist, and traumatise Nepgear
>>47948459You mean >No more DF Hack on anybody but us for now
>>47948317Question: Can you alter the generated history with DF Hack? If yes:>[ ] [DF HACK] got you into this mess, so by Armok it's going to get you OUT of this mess. Shut down her current job, alter its parameters, or outright change it... with ill-defined hacking.Just instead or additional to mucking about with Neppermint, we should try to identify and neutralieze to most offending changes to history or alternatively just try to change history back to how it was before Neptune got "Effortless Buerocracy" faster than she alters it.If DFhack can't change the history, then:>[ ] [INTERRUPT] Neptune by deconstructing her furniture. That ought to break off her current job, hopefully without too many adverse and/or time-bendy side effects.
>>47948317Right! Looks like the consensus is [X] [INTERRUPT], so->Urist Twelfthbay interrupts task: no table!ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)Taking the best of three!DC: 65, no bonus; however, the higher the better!
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>47948570Om
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>47948570
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>47948570>DC: 65, no bonus; however, the higher the better!HWG
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>47948570
OH MY GOD, HONEST TO GOODNESS SUCCESSWriting!>>47948540Belatedly, you... probably could! In theory. It'd take far too long, since Urist wouldn't have a goddamned clue which texty bits are the actual history, which bits are Neptune-caused history, and which bits would cause hideous butterfly effects to occur and raze the whole land, causing even worse side effects.
>>47948579Oh ho...>>47948582Nevermin..>>47948585Quite pleased with this result.
>>47948627>Neptune demands more pudding be made>Urist removes it because it doesn't look right>Retroactive Neptune pudding withdrawal
>>47948570Why does my brain keep comparing the paperworkpocalypse outside to Cookie Clicker? I haven't even PLAYED Cookie Clicker.
>>47948460I'll be honest, at this point I just have too much fun teasing Blorp and seeing what despair-themed gif he pulls out next to stop.
haha, time for neps
Open question for the thread: how would Neptune react to the possibility of eggplant pudding? Would her mind just seize up and refuse to operate?
>>47948870No, it's time for dorfs. Why would it be time for a comic-relief background character?
>>47948900"That's a forbidden love!"
>>47948900It's not what it looks like on the outside, it's what's INSIDE that counts.So yeah, kill it with fire, I assume.
>>47948900Well, if she can't see that eggplants are in the pudding, she would taste it, realize the eggplants in there, go apeshit and try to find the person who is responsible for such a thing.
>>47948900KILL IT WITH FIRE
Urist better keep an eye on her equipment, since weapon and armor damage is a thing in DF now. And of course Gamindustri is exactly the kind of place to pull the anime "clothing damage" kind of thing.
>>47949261I'm having trouble imagining how the liquid metal gauntlets could suffer damage.
>>47949295Armok finds a way. Bits of it dripping off as it's used?
>>47949295They become thinner and tighter until they're skin-tight gloves that show off every detail of the skin they're on except for color.
>>47948317>[X] [INTERRUPT] >DC: 60-ish>90......................>Great success!You're not normally one to think on your feet. It's probably hereditary; you dwarves blunder into awful situations all the damn time, because you're all stubborn little shits with terrible foresight. Gotta murder that one goblin, even if it means following him out the fortress and into the remaining ninety-nine gobbos; gotta go fetch that one discarded left sock, even if it's in the jaws of a slavering Forgotten Beast; etc, etc.On the flip side, if there's one thing you're good at, it's reacting immediately when shit starts going south. Neptune's stuck in some sort of buggy bookkeeping loop? Cancel the job by deconstructing the chair she's sitting on.You don't have time to do that the properly dwarven way, though, so you wind up and just knock the chair out from under Neptune's dumb ass, sending her to the floor in a tangle of limbs and paperwork."Gyaaah!?"Instantly, the sense of all-pervasive /wrongness/ lifts from your shoulders, and the sound of paperwork trails off to a light rustling. As the laws of temporal physics stop getting taken to pound town, Planeptune's earthquakes fade to a distant rumble. Outside, the larger half-built towers collapse in on themselves, glowing materials fading to the color of dull rust before dissipating altogether.Neptune brushes a few stray papers aside and levers herself back up, tears of pain in her eyes- her completely normal eyes, thank fucking gods. "Ow... c'mon, Urist, that was mean! You don't kick someone when they're doing- what was I doing again?"Paperwork. She was doing paperwork."Haha, no way! Don't pull my leg like that!" the goddess of all things Sega laughs, socking you in the shoulder. "Really, what's going on?"(Cont.)
>>47949360So we'll be a chibi Ferrus Manus. What's the big deal?
>>47949476You grimace, fingers twitching as you resist going straight for your flask and drinking until the world stops sucking. You don't have time to putz around at Neptune's pace, so you give it to her straight: CPU Black Heart's coming right this way, so-"Huh? What?" Neptune's eyes- no, her entire goddamn /being/ seems to light up from the inside. She's always been happy, sure, but that ain't nothing compared to the sheer /joy/ bubbling up to the surface. "Noire's coming to see me!?"W-Well, yeah, but she's completely in battle mode, and oh fucking hell Neptune isn't listening."Noire's coming to see me!" she gushes, clapping her hands to her cheeks. "Haha, I thought she was giving me the cold shoulder, but she's going all deredere now, huh?"Before you can stop her, Neptune throws open the window and vaults out, ignoring the fact that it's not fucking ground level. "Noiiiiire~!"You scramble over just in time to see Neptune hit the roof running, waving her hands at the sky. Up above, far enough that you can't make out any details against the afternoon sky, you swear you see a shooting star; it's not changing direction, still heading straight for the Basilicom.Cursing under your breath, you're about to just- fucking follow Neptune, or go grab IF, or do /something/, when Therapist pings you urgently. You blink, bringing up the UI within your mind's eye (or your literal eye, who even knows how this even works).(Cont.)
>>47949503As expected, you've got Estelle and Rokko closing in on Planeptune's capital, which is great. What's not so great is that- well, speaking of not knowing how shit works, Therapist is telling you that you've got incoming hostile contacts coming in on the Planeptune Basilicom, far sooner than Estelle and Rokko will arrive.You didn't even think that Therapist could /track/ that sort of shit.>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:[ ] [FOLLOW NEPTUNE] Because NOTHING is worse than a dumb goddess going out to greet an angry war-hungry goddess with open arms.[ ] [DEAL WITH HOSTILES] Go make a beeline for whatever the hell it is that Therapist is picking up.[ ] [MEET YOUR FRIENDS] Y'know what? Use your fucking dimension door and go pick up your friends. You need them backing you up in any of this.[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR!] If there's something or someone Urist wants to grab![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>47949526>[ ] [FOLLOW NEPTUNE] Because NOTHING is worse than a dumb goddess going out to greet an angry war-hungry goddess with open arms.> [WATCH] Watch from behind something and intervene if it actually looks like they'll fight
>>47949526[ ] [MEET YOUR FRIENDS] Y'know what? Use your fucking dimension door and go pick up your friends. You need them backing you up in any of this.
>>47949526>FOLLOW NEP>BUILD A FORT! DEFEND NEPLAND FROM HOSTILES!
>>47949526>[ ] [DEAL WITH HOSTILES] Go make a beeline for whatever the hell it is that Therapist is picking up.Nep'll be daijobu
>>47949526>BUILD FORTwhen in doubt. Build another fort
>>47949526 >FOLLOW NEP >BUILD A FORT! DEFEND NEPLAND FROM HOSTILES!
>>47949526>[x] [FOLLOW NEPTUNE] Because NOTHING is worse than a dumb goddess going out to greet an angry war-hungry goddess with open arms.
>>47949526>[X] [MEET YOUR FRIENDS] Y'know what? Use your fucking dimension door and go pick up your friends. You need them backing you up in any of this.Fuck this. IF wants paperwork done, you get it done, she complains. She tells you to stop it, and this happens. Doubtless there will be complaints again, but you got Older sis-. . . Friends to collect and hostiles to face.
>>47949526>[MEET YOUR FRIENDS]Gamindustri's survived this long with the goddesses interacting without your help, and as for the hostiles, well, that's what the city guard is for (And, again, there are two goddesses here). But we haven't seen Rokko and Estelle in weeks/months/20+ threads, depending on how you want to measure it, and Estelle will not be happy if she gets here and we've run off to do something else.
>>47949526>[ ] [DEAL WITH HOSTILES] Go make a beeline for whatever the hell it is that Therapist is picking up.Nep can survive until we deal with the enemies.
>>47949556>[X]BUILD FORTThis has my support. Pic unrelated and will hopefully stay that way.
>>47949526>[ ] [DIMENSION DOOR!] If there's something or someone Urist wants to grab!Grab Mojang, she is our best international representative!
>>47949526Remind me where we got a dimension door from? Is that a fast travel back to Hyperdimension? If so, how can we use it to get to our friends faster? Surely we can't open the exit anywhere we want...?
>[ ] KIDNAP NEPGEARUse dimension door, meet friends, avoid custody disputes, acquire daughteru, build forts
>>47949526Hide in that emergency dorffort made of couch cushions.
>>47949602We need to go bigger.
>>47949526>[ ] [FOLLOW NEPTUNE] Because NOTHING is worse than a dumb goddess going out to greet an angry war-hungry goddess with open arms.
>>47949526>DORF FORTBatten down the hatches.
[X] [MEET YOUR FRIENDS] Y'know what? Use your fucking dimension door and go pick up your friends. You need them backing you up in any of this.[X] [WRITE-IN] Ditch responsibility for the immediate problem and fuck off to the hyperdimension.
>>47949602those pups are pretty cute
Right, looks like the winners are [FOLLOW NEP] and, uh.... [BUILD A FORT]?Writing!
>>47949526>[ ] [MEET YOUR FRIENDS] Y'know what? Use your fucking dimension door and go pick up your friends. You need them backing you up in any of thisWe need help to defend the Basilicom. We got a Nepgear to protect in there!
>>47949602That picture has had to be made by a german. Their name for pugs and boobs are the same. (Eventhough it isn't a very polite way of calling breasts that.)
>>47949526>[X] [DEAL WITH HOSTILES] Go make a beeline for whatever the hell it is that Therapist is picking up.TO WAR!
>>47949719Ignore that if you can't work it in logically
>>47949900>Ignore that if you can't work it in logically>work it in logically>logically>logicSon, this is a Blorp Quest we're running here. Logic don't enter into it.
>>47950006Fair enough. Rule of cool then, if you can't make it cool then ignore. I'd hate to spend time making a pointless fort.
>>47950006Maybe Urist is developing a habit of building tiny forts when stressed. That'd be cute.
>>47950119> Pointless FortWhat is such a thing I don't even know what you mean by putting those two words together.
>>47950150And when she isn't looking, gamindustry makes what it was built out of into pillows.
>>47950154You say that like she wouldn't have already been building it out of pillows.>Sleepover in Bastillicom Main Hall for highjinxy reasons>Urist has to build a fort because the room is too big and open for her to feel comfortable.
>>47950186>Serious attempt at making a for in Planeptune>All of it turns into pillows>Urist manages to make a masterful adamantine sword>Gamindustri turns it into a masterful adamantine hammer
>>47949617Too late, but I woulda voted for this. We should just cut ourselves off from the bullshit of gamindustri altogether. We and all our buds can hide out in our fort and have fun fighting desperately against the hostile environment whilst making ever greater works of artifice for our own amusement as is the dorfish way. We can also start a nuclear family with Rokko and Nepgear.
>>47950305B-but Rokko's a girl, anon!
>>47949526>[X] [FOLLOW NEPTUNE!]>[X] [... BUILD A FORT!]You can't possibly imagine why the hell there'd be /any/ hostile ANYTHINGS headed for the Planeptune Basilicom, of all places. Given how weak Planeptune is compared to its rivals, you figure the most Gamindustri would bother to rustle up is the equivalent of a few goblins armed with copper weapons and maybe one piece of armor per two attackers. Besides, as rundown as Nep's home is, it's bound to have a few stubbornly loyal adventurers mucking about.You don't want to waste time with /that/, not when Neptune's running toward the heavily armed arms of the one Gamindustri goddess you haven't actually met yet. With a sigh, you lever yourself out the window, spending a few crucial seconds hanging off the ledge and stretching your legs desperately. Once you're finally down (thank Armok for climbing, but still, FUCK climbing), you make damn sure your footing's steady before jogging off after Nep.Noire, CPU Black Heart, and the goddess of all things Playstation. By most accounts, she's as aloof as they come, cool and competent; some people insist that she's one of those tsun-somethings. Either way, she's good at running her nation like a particularly efficient machine, despite making remarkably few public appearances. That's half the reason why you avoided Lastation like the plague; you can't fit in with a place like /that/, not with how you stick out like a sore thumb anywhere you go.Either way, if the meticulously cool-headed Noire has flown all the way out here and transformed into that fancy-pants (figuratively speaking) battle mode of hers, then there's no way that's good news of ANY kind.(Cont.)
>>47950439Because Gamindustri loves dramatic standoffs, you intercept both goddesses just outside the Basilicom: Neptune stands at ground level, smack-dab at the front door, with Iffy right beside her. They're both staring up at CPU Black Heart, hovering three stories up; with her back to the sun, all you can make out of the white-haired goddess in the black battle bikini is her silhouette, those lit-up highlights common to all divine beings, and the barest hints of her expression.You only need that much to figure out that she's not exactly /happy/."Don't give me that!" Noire snaps, her eyes flaring with divine light. "It's not just suspicious, it's- it's inexcusable for a goddess to just /disappear/ for days on end! I was- I mean, your constituents must have been worried sick!"Iffy flips back her side-tail, looking rather put-out. "... look, give the Basilicom more credit than that, will you? Of course we didn't blab it out for everyone to hear. Besides, we're getting off-track-""Exactly, exactly!" Neptune wails, flailing her fists childishly. "I've been trying to talk to /you/ for the past gazillion weeks, but you never picked up! And now you're even madder because I accidentally did the same thing to you!?"You squint, staring in turns at the three of them. What the hell are you looking at? You were expecting fireworks and divine rage and fighting goddesses, and instead, you get some sorta- what, high school level "you never called me" relationship counseling bullshit? Honestly. Dwarves are so much easier- all /they/ need to do is bottle up all their stress to unhealthy levels before unleashing it all in cataclysmic temper tantrums with more than enough potential to end a fortress.(Cont.)
>>47950439>fancy-pants (figuratively speaking)literally, it would be more like no-pants
>>47950450... anyway, no one's even noticed you yet, which is absolutely perfect. You've got a hunch about all this, given pattern recognition and all, so you keep an ear tuned to this conversation, and turn half of your attention to the ground beneath you. Seems like it's pavement, with some solid soil beneath you- good enough for your purposes."Of course I'm mad, idiot!" CPU Black Heart stammers. "After what happened to Vert and Blanc, and now you-""I can take care of myself, you know!" Neptune points an accusatory finger at Noire. "Besides, if you're gonna worry about me, then at least be honest about it! Tell me straight up! Show me some of that classic cutie-patootie tsundere blushing!"The white-haired goddess opens her mouth to snap back a retort, but swallows it down with an effort. For a moment, she seems busy enough, listening to something close to her ear-"N... Noire?" Neptune sounds uncertain, though she covers it up well. "C'mon, this is where you insist that you're not worried, right? Except in a totally unconvincing manner, and you blush and stammer while doing it, and it's the cutest thing that everyone expects from you by now-""Shut up." CPU White Heart lifts her sword and points it straight at Neptune, ignoring the goddess's sharp gasp. "I'm tired of this farce.""Dammit, Noire-!" Quick as a flash, Iffy pulls out her punching daggers and stands protectively in front of her friend, her trenchcoat flaring out behind her. "I don't know what's eating at you, but you're going /way/ too far-""I have to admit, you're good for an imitation," Noire continues, her voice wavering. Her sword arm remains steady, even as those thrusters hovering inches from her skin begin charging up. "It... it was fun, talking to 'Neptune' like this again. But she's already fallen to Arfoire, hasn't she? Histoire told me everything-"(Cont.)
>>47950467CPU Black Heart boosts forward, swinging her sword. That divine weapon- sharp enough to cut through steel like butter- slices through nothing but air, 'cause that's when you dig a ramp up underneath Neptune and Iffy, removing their footing and dropping them into your underground fortress/bolthole.Ignoring Neptune's protests, you all but kick them into the tunnel behind you, staring up out your hole at Noire's big dumb shocked face, close enough that you can see the tears of /burning saddened vengeance/ gathering at the corners of her eyes.>CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:[ ] [VIOLENCE HER] She who strikes first stops the pissed off goddess from pushing in your shit and buys her friends time to get the fuck away.[ ] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?[ ] [IGNORE HER] because you're too busy building a fucking wall between you and her and blocking her off from your mini-fort because NOPE NOPE NOPE.[ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>47950479>[ ] [IGNORE HER] because you're too busy building a fucking wall between you and her and blocking her off from your mini-fort because NOPE NOPE NOPE.cue Jackie chan wanting no trabble as Urist builds a fort in the middle of the duel.
>>47950479>[ ] [WRITE-IN]LOUDLY CALL HISTOIRE WITH THE PHONE NOW. PULL OUT ALL THE KEYSTONES.You're going to tell me we left all the keystones in the Hyperdimension, aren't you?
>>47950479>[x] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?
>>47950479>[ ] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?Hooray, I caught a Blorp thread!Also, we can probably do this. I mean, if anyone's got insight into what goes on in the mind of Nep, it's Noire and Urist. Even if we may hate ourselves afterwards.
>>47950479>[ ] [IGNORE HER] because you're too busy building a fucking wall between you and her and blocking her off from your mini-fort because NOPE NOPE NOPE.WE'LL BUILD A WALL AND FIND A WAY TO MAKE LASTATION PAY FOR IT
>>47950479>[ ] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?> [WRITE-IN] KEYSTONE PHONE
>>47950467>CPU White Heart lifts her swordso when did Blanc or the one who stole her powers get here?
>>47950498Pretty sure they're still glued to our phone>>47950479>[X] [IGNORE HER]She's already convinced, on the inside. This is just the stock tsundere "kill them all to hide my shame" moment. It'll pass.Or we will, but hey, that's life.
>>47950540that one's Neptunes, right? We didn't glue ALL the keystones to the phone yet
>>47950523IT DON'T MATTER IF YOU'RE BLACK OR WHITE but fuck typos, goddamn
>>47950479>[ ] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?Well at least try to be reasonable with her... if it doesn't work, then>[ ] [VIOLENCE HER] She who strikes first stops the pissed off goddess from pushing in your shit and buys her friends time to get the fuck away.But instead of personally trying to intercept Noire, try to resummon that Elephantine Forgotten Beast which drooled acid everywhere.
>>47950498>>47950540>>47950554Belatedly, yes, only Planeptune's Key Fragment is glued to Urist's phone! Trying to ring up Histoire is still entirely possible, though.
>>47950479>[CONVINCE HER]"What do you trust more, a voice in your ear or your own senses? Even better, why do you think Neptune's a fake, but that voice is above suspicion?"
>>47950561>Is called Black heart>Not black in any way, shape or form.
>>47950595>Black on the inside
>>47950479>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Somehow lead her to nepgear and when she is trying to comprehend the situation restrain or trap her.Pitfalls and fast construction ho.
>>47950595Her spandex is black.
>>47950479>Phone Histy to back up your CONVINCING.
Right, [CONVINCE HER] is the winning choice, but [PHONING HISTY] rolls well with that, so- writing!
>>47950479>[ ] [CONVINCE HER] Because this Neptune is the real Neptune, and Noire would have to be a goddamned goober to think otherwise, the hell is wrong with her!?
>>47950672Except when it's grey. Or blue. Or any of a half dozen other colours than black.
>>47950479Combine [CONVINCE HER] and [IGNORE HER]. Because while we'll hopefully be able to talk her out of her tantrum, it never hurts to have a nice strong wall between us and sharp metal pointy things.
>[X] [IGNORE HER] because you're too busy building a fucking wall between you and her and blocking her off from your mini-fort because NOPE NOPE NOPE.We can talk after we got walls around us. Or die trying.
>>47950692[X] [NO U] Oh yeah, how do we know YOU ain't fallen to Arfoire, huh, prove yer the real Noire
>>47950186I think we did that early into the quest.
>>47950893Didn't fallen Goddesses have a different Eyecolor than in normal or HDD form?Or did I just project the differences between a Copy Goddess and the real Goddess unto fallen Goddesses?
>>47950950If they did I think Noire would be able to tell this was the real Neptune....Question: We lost sight of Neptune on the way here, right? Should we be going full Shadowruns right now?
>>47950950No, no they don't.Until the moment of death they are functionally indistinguishable copies.
>>47950994Can personifications even have kids? There are no males who are actually 'real' (and that whole thing raises its own set of worrying questions) and new adventurers jiat pop out of nowhere. But at the same time they're clearly aware that reproduction is a thing, since we tricked Rokko with it one time.
>>47951039If the companies make a video game together, I guess so.But it's mostly little sisters.
>>47950987What if.....WERE THE CLONE?>urist cancels task: to much like other quest.
>>47951021What about their alcohol tolerance.
>>47951021>>47951087Pretty much this! There tends to be differences in strength within the copies, but in canon, the biggest giveaways seem to be slight differences in personality.Alcohol tolerance might also be a thing to test.>>47951039GAMINDUSTRI IS A MAGICAL REALM, ANON
>>47951076That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard, the probability of that being true is like the chance....ofNobody roll a one EVER
>>47951039Well, I don't think that things like the Übercreeper curtesy of Urist and Mojang would count.Also, strictly speaking, despite all the implications, Nepgears creation was just a very, very powerful summoning accident, mixed with, well, the biblical creation of Eve. (Part of Adam vs. part of HDD Neptune)The only real kind of reproduction observed is kind of like Cell division. (Cytokinesis; in this case also more likely mitosis instead of meiosis etc.)Or, in other words: Like Amobea.
>>47951129Bloop wouldn't dare, clone archs are shit, worse than body swap storylines.I mean, we know you're going to say, "this is what makes me, me" at the verry end. It's always how it ends.
>>47951039>>47951170NEPGEAR IS STARCHILD
>>47951183Shit, I ment "worse than the worst body swap storylines" Vert wrote an alright body swap storyline.
>>47951183Or the real urist kills us with a ridiculous trap that uses lava, forgotten beats, and a stupid amount of glitches.
>>47951184If we look at Relationships it would probably say Kaa-san. That or Onekaa-sachan.
>>47951217Then she has truly earned the title of>"the dwarfiest moe since that game where you are deamonesses that set up s&m Rube Goldberg machines to kill people and bring back the devil"And we get to play as her
>>47951108D-do you mean a realm that is magical, or a MAGICAL REALM?
>>47951076>>47951217>>47951283>pepole think this is a good idea
>>47951315Or it's a joke.
>>47951209Since when was Lady Vert an author...?Also body swap stories done with the right mix of humor, character development, and existential horror are the best thing, how dare you.
>>47951183Well, I would debate that most body swaps and clone are kind of equally bad, with the only exceptions being essentially either forms of Possesion or a Doppelgänger monster.The only problems are: Arefoire/Magioque represents, amongst other things, software piracy, so her power include copying. Also, it is too useful in sowing distrust.
>>47951301So... it is a Realm of Fantasy/Illusions?
>>47950479>[X] [CONVINCE HER]>[X] [PHONE HOME]Your first instinct is to punch Noire in her inhumanly cute face, because she's sieging your territory. Your second instinct is to drop back down and build a wall immediately, locking her out of your fortress forever.Instead, you lean out of the one entrance to your fortress and prop your elbows up onto the pavement, summoning every ounce of dwarvish stubbornness you've got to give the goddess of all things Playstation your best unamused glare. Oh, so CPU Black Heart's got this all figured out, does she?Rather than strike off your head for being a cheeky shit, Noire seems too damn surprised to do anything more than stammer. "Who are you supposed to be? Get out of my way, I have to get rid of-"What, Neptune? you growl, leaning forward and taking refuge in audacity. And CPU Black Heart's absolutely convinced that she's some clone cooked up by Arfoire, is she?"Of course I am!" Hah, no she's not, she's not even looking at you straight. Noire's a terrible liar, unless this is all just as planned. "I have it on very good authority that... that everyone else has been compromised. She's been warning me for weeks-"Who, Histoire?"Yes!" CPU Black Heart rallies magnificently, regaining some of her divine poise. "Why am I even arguing with you!? Vert's been acting strangely, Blanc is nowhere to be found, and Planeptune's been completely destabilized just now!" She straightens back up and looks down her nose, pointing that strange, mechanical sword of hers at you. "What more proof do we need? You're probably just a- what are you doing?"Dialing up a number, what does it look like?Noire stares at you, looking completely nonplussed. For a goddess, she's not too difficult to take off-guard, huh. "But- why does your phone have a rock stuck to the end of it-" Shhh, you're putting it on speakerphone.(Cont.)
>>47951452For a few tense heartbeats, you pray to Armok that Histoire will pick up. Then you pray to every OTHER deity that if she does pick up, she won't backstab you for some infathomable reason and confirm everything Noire says, leaving you stranded up shit creek without any non-minecart vehicles or boating physics-"How in Gamindustri are you /doing/ this?" Histoire's tinny voice wails from your phone. "Please stop breaking the laws of physics on a whim, Urist! Or playing with my fragments! I'll have you know that this is /very/ uncomfortable-"She can chew you out later, but- can she please just tell Noire that she's the real Histoire, and not some strange fake one whispering sweet nothings into the goddess's ear?There's an awkward silence. "... oh, so that's where it went," Histoire says eventually, her voice subdued. "I'm so sorry, Noire.""No way," Noire whispers, her face pale. Quick as flash, she's grabbed your phone, though she doesn't wrest it from your grip; she's just looking over the rock. "That's- that's one of the Key Fragments. It can't be anything else."She lets go of the rock, staring through you. "Are you telling me that all this time, I-""Okay, that's enough of that." Histoire's voice cuts in from... somewhere above you.(Cont.)
>>47951463You whirl to face her, but before you even catch a glimpse of the false fairy's book, a bolt of lightning blasts Noire right off her feet; the goddess's screams cut off when she slams against the pavement, but the electricity keeps coursing through her prone form."Noire!!" You're roughly shoved out of your burrow as Neptune and Iffy elbow past you; you roll to your feet, taking in the scene with a glance. IF's already got her punching daggers ready, Noire's convulsing on the ground, Nep's looking... Armok help you, you've never seen her /crying mad/, and it's not something you want to see again.And 'Histoire' is leisurely floating above you, perched on a large book, just like in your dreams. You'd wager she's perfectly indistinguishable from the normal Histoire, but you're reasonably sure the real deal doesn't fucking immolate goddesses with lightning bolts.You're pretty sure they're hers, anyway. The lightning bolts aren't even coming from her hands or being channeled or anything- they're just /there/, arcing down from the sky, like 'Histoire' just set off the charge and let 'em rip.... and the cherry on top is, of course, how this book fairy isn't actually showing up in Therapist.'Histoire' opens her mouth to say something->CHOOSE ONE OF THE FOLLOWING[ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.[ ] [NOIRE] You don't know if hitting 'Histy' would even /stop/ those lightning bolts, so for the love of all things holy, find some way to block that lightning from Noire. [ ] [DIMENSION DOOR] Shove Neptune and Iffy through, pull out a random ally from Hyperdimension. 'Histy' doesn't need to get her hands on another goddess![ ] [RETREAT] Okay, no, back down into the hole![ ] [WRITE-IN]
>>47951334Good thing I corrected myself, bloop did a good job with the characters.People tend to flanderise characters in bad body swap stories, we didn't deal with the nep in dwarfs body to see any true emotion, but it could be for the best, Neptune like characters are hard to write, and you should only do body swap stories if you can write the characters pretty well.
>>47951039Yuri transcends biology.
>>47951472>[x] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.>[x] [DIMENSION DOOR] Shove Neptune and Iffy through, pull out a random ally from Hyperdimension. 'Histy' doesn't need to get her hands on another goddess!NEPGEAR, HELP BIG SIS NOW PLEASE!
>>47951472>[ ] [WRITE-IN] You're done with all of this, fuck everything, throw a tantrum
>>47951452Dang, we are so freakin' hardcore.>She felt nothing after seeing an angry goddess recently. She felt nothing after nearly destroying the world with paperwork recently. She felt nothing breaking physics with her phone recently.
>>47951472>[ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.>[ ] [NOIRE] You don't know if hitting 'Histy' would even /stop/ those lightning bolts, so for the love of all things holy, find some way to block that lightning from Noire.
>>47951472>[ ] [NOIRE] You don't know if hitting 'Histy' would even /stop/ those lightning bolts, so for the love of all things holy, find some way to block that lightning from Noire. Build another room around Noire and Neptune.>[THERAPIST] If Rokko and Ester are in range, it's time to contact them and/or direct them to the hostiles we found earlier.
>>47951472>[ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.
>>47951472>[ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK herFirst things first: Try to close the book/squish false histore between her own pages. Then either try to knock her down from her perch, if the closing is somewhat unsuccessful or if it is successful, chain it up and either martyr some of your alc to douse it and burn it up or make sure a big stone is on it.
>[X] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.RIP AND TEAR!
>>47951472> [ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] cat bomb her.
>>47951472[X] [NOIRE] You don't know if hitting 'Histy' would even /stop/ those lightning bolts, so for the love of all things holy, find some way to block that lightning from Noire. Ahahahaha. You know the problem with Palpatine impressions?Even Palpatine got fucked up good by Mace without his lightning. Guess what are doing?
>>47951472>[X] [RETREAT] Okay, no, back down into the hole!Tactical retreat, lightning doesn't work underground. We need to GTFO. Failing that though...>[X] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.Because you go fucking hard or you go fucking home.
>>47951472>[ESCAPE]Here in my fort I feel safest of allI can raise all the gates it's the only way to liveWould have been nice if Neptune and her henchmen had been inside but that's their fault.
>>47951472>[X] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.WAAAUUGH
>>47951472>[ ] [WRITE-IN] Force the flying book fairy to consume large quantities of alcohol.With all villains giving monologues before doing ANYTHING, the element of surprise is with us to douse the book in alcohol. If anything, she will ignite herself from the lightning.>[ ] [NOIRE] You don't know if hitting 'Histy' would even /stop/ those lightning bolts, so for the love of all things holy, find some way to block that lightning from Noire.Even a goddess can't withstand a hundred million volts passing through her body.
Okay, [DO NOT PASS GO] sweeps the vote! In that case, one last roll for the night->Urist Twelfthbay trains her throwing skill!ROLL d100! (dice+1d100 in the email field)Taking the best of three!DC: 70; Bonus: +15 to rolls, skill & surprise!
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>47951662
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>47951662
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>47951662
Hey guys, can we still use cat bombs. If not cats we can use capuchins, eagles, sugar gliders, any small mammal.
>>47951679i am so proud of myself
>>47951673You, I like you.
>>47951675that's mainly something to use against adventurers. Goddess tier enemies can tank the performance drop.
>>47951675Cat bombs don't work on Arfoire creations or goddesses. You know that. Stop trying to screw us over.
>>47951700Against Goddesses, we need to unleash a Forgotten Beast bomb.
>>47951686You typed in that dice command and waited to see the randomly generated result like a champ, champ.
>>47951675>>47951700Pretty much this. In this group, it'd only mess up Iffy.>>47951706Just to clarify: cat bombs (or bombs of other small fast-breeding animals) would totally work on copies of adventurers, just not goddesses or copies of goddesses!Or, in that one terrifying case, on Arfoire herself.
>>47951730What about generating a new region with raw duplication?
>>47951739That wouldn't work in Gamindustri proper unless Urist has the explicit permission of the nation's goddess, and enough space to work with- and even then, raw duplication is a strange situation! (Her current fortress is a special case of Urist putzing around outside of Leanbox's borders, getting a power-up, and making her DF Arena 'region' a reality).
>>47951739I think that would overload the reality of Gameindustri. Well, at least we get to see what happens when Reality bluescreens. I think it just collapses and we are all thrown into, essentially, the Planescape equivalent.
>>47951739We just need to lure under a drawbridge and WHAM, atom smasher solves the problem.What does Arfoire even want? What's her motive or goal? Surely there must be a way to settle things without bloodshed. Does she want to rule? We can probably create a new region out at sea and give her her very own island, if she wants.
>>47951787Complete and utter domination of course. Why should she settle for a mere island when she could have all of Gamindustri?
>>47951774FPS death sounds horrible. Things stutter, going slower and slower, until finally the whole world hangs, frozen in a single instant for all time. We can only hope people's minds are effected by the lag the same as their bodies, or everyone would be fully aware for eternity or until someone resets the universe and we get Ultradimension.
>>47951823Because winning is easy, young lady, ruling is harder.Seriously, have you seen these places and the people in them? It's a lost cause. Just get a new island, round up a bunch of creative Graveyard adventurers, and found the new nation of Laputer.
>>47951828Any game that has frame rates would suffer from this. What about Save data corruption that commonly plagues the old Pokemon games?
>>47951730I ment raising the cats core temp to max to have it blow up.
>>47951860Not just any game with rame rates. You need games where you can do somehing that will eventually start eating away at your frames until the game cant't handle it any more. So games like DF, Garry's Mod, anything where you can spawn thing infinitely, really.
>>47951828Well, if they had to witness the same event that brought the bluescreen of reality, then their brains would basicly do a hard reset, aka in humans known as an epileptic shock. Also, I think we would be aware of it for the most part, until it effects the speed of electricity enough that the signals of our nerves do not arrive.
>>47951883That'd just be using DH hack.
>>47951883It's been so long since that was possible that I'm not sure if Urist can even do that now.
>>47951887prop spam, particle fx overload. anything that has a physics engine and graphically intensive motherboard melting specs for optimal performance. Like Crysis
>>47951858Well, if Arefoire would found her own nation on an Island far away, it would be with a few hack adventurers and be called Malum, because I don't think that Laputer could be founded by someone as shady as her.
>>47951923She did have her own nation. Well, not her specifically, but the seven sages.
>>47951923True. I like to think she'd be unoffical allies, at least, although offically, as far as any of the other nations are concerned, no one in Laputer ever associates with Arfoire and her band of pirates. (But we all know there's no other way some of those goods fron the Consoles would ever be able to exist on Laputer without her.)No, Laputer would have started as a loose collection of allies, including Doom, Keen, and the original Adventurer herself. Nowadays it's a trade hub with no offical goddess and Vavlie's empire at the top, though Ubi, Eia, and the Good Old Guild are starting to catch up.
>>47952006Well, if we go in that direction, Laputer would have two rivals, who think that they are stronger than they really are.One would be the Citystate of Litux, which is govern by the great Houses and their offsprings, who mainly work in maintenance or as specialists. Its population is highly specialised, respected and arrogant. Also Tourists are easily lost in the city itself.The other one would be the People's Republic of Mallum (Latin: Bad, Evil, Apple (look it up)) who seems good on the surface, but below is reigned by demagogues in their literally Ivory Towers and indifference towards the population.
>>47951662>>47951472>[X] [DO NOT PASS GO]>DC: 70 (+15)...........>Great success!You're honestly not sure /what/ this bitch was planning to say. Maybe she would've gloated, or said something smarmy in that clipped-tones voice of Histoire's. Or maybe it would've been something more harmful, like commands to some distant group of operatives, who would've made your lives far more complicated.Instead, you take no small amount of satisfaction from winging your phone-and-rock combination straight at 'Histoire's' head, hitting her with enough force to bowl her off her book and knock a few tiny teeth from her tiny bloodied mouth.You were moving even before your makeshift projectile connected, boots ringing out against the pavement as you make a mad dash for Arfoire's little clone. Extending one arm out, you transform one liquid metal gauntlet into a war hammer, the magical alloy drawing material out into the open.'Histoire' rights herself when you're five paces out, a distinctly Arfoire-ish expression twisting her doll-like features. "You shouldn't have done that," it hisses, nearly flooring you with the sheer hatred dripping from every word.Your warhammer smashes into Histoire, but you don't have time to celebrate- /something/ clips your leg and spins you wildly off-course. Cursing all the while, your lunge turns into a painful crash-landing, and you skid across the pavement a few times before sliding to a stop.- CPU Black Heart.For a moment, you're really not sure what the hell you're looking at. Lastation's goddess is still coursing with electricity, and steam streams off her slim form in odd patterns- no, it's her armor, it's streaming from her goddamned /armor/. That's no battle bikini, not anymore, not with the sheer amount of bulky metal jutting out from her arms, her back, her helmet.(Cont.)
>>47952112You're less worried about all that than you are about her terrifyingly blank eyes, her blue pupils impossibly wide, their usual 'power' symbol replaced by a flickering cross."Noire!?" A burst of light temporarily illuminates the ground in front of you, and Neptune's high-pitched yelp gives way to CPU Purple Heart's deeper voice of command as she keeps talking, this time to 'Histoire.' "What have you done to her?""How rude," the copy coughs painfully, her voice faint from how hard you fucked her up; she crawls to her feet, broken in a thousand places, using her book to keep herself upright. "I haven't harmed a hair on her head. Why, I've gone ahead and given CPU Black Heart a direct injection of what all you goddesses want the most: shares."Wincing painfully, you begin the laborious process of getting back up to your feet. Fucking hell, if you'd been /any/ slower in going on the attack, you would've gotten absolutely murdered by CPU Black Heart. You... you have to finish off this bitch before she does anything else-"I suppose this puts her abilities one generation higher than the rest of you, and two higher than CPU Purple Heart..." 'Histoire' continues, sinking back to her knees. "How does calling her 'Next Black' sound?"Neptune's warning growl puts even you on edge. "Stop joking around-"(Cont.)
>>47952123You blink and miss the impossibly quick burst of action- all you hear is the sound of metal striking metal, and Noire and Neptune have already separated, their respective swords still ringing from the clash. They dash back in again, and as they continue fencing, Iffy grabs you and hauls you roughly to you feet."- have to evacuate the Basilicom- at this rate, the entire city block, and- are you even listening to me!?"You're not listening to IF. You're too busy staring upward and smiling like a goddamned doofus, as a rainbow arcs across the sky. Sure, everything is absolutely fucked right now, and you don't really see how anything can UN-fuck it, not even 'Histoire's' death, but... well.Big sis Estelle's finally arrived.[TO BE CONTINUED NEXT THREAD]
ALRIGHT, it's 3 am, which is plenty late even though it ain't no weekday!We'll hopefully have the next thread on TUESDAY, 6/28, at 9-ish pm EST! As always, updates will be at twitter.com/BlorpQuest, and questions can go to ask.fm/BlorpQuest (and I'm finally making a dent in that backlog, probably)!As always, thanks for participating and uprooting a large chunk of what I had planned; hope you all enjoyed the thread, and I'll catch you next time!
>>47952123So, endurance fighting, with the best case being to snap Noire out of it.
>>47952137>>47952163Yayifications! Sis is here.Thanks for the thread Blorpy
>>47952123WE COULD HAVE STOPPED HERMAYBEPOSSIBLY
>>47952163Thanks you for writing!See you...lets see...3 delays...add a week end...on July 5th 6PM EST!
>>47951472>but you're reasonably sure the real deal doesn't fucking immolate goddesses with lightning bolts.I'm sure she really, really wants to though.>[ ] [DO NOT PASS GO] Throw something at her and go in for fisticuffs because FUCK monologues and FUCK her.
>>47952123Heh, so that happened, and we can not force her share back down by bombarding her with mediocre adaptations of IPs into PS games.On the other hand....... I have a plan: DFHack, try to get into Noires code and divert the shares a bit into another processes or even another structure. We only need a 80 + and we have both diverted the infusion and created an at least instable Uni.
>>47952006Leanbox would also have an odd connection with Laputer. While Vert doesn't rule there she still has no small amount of influence there, and she'd have an odd open borders policy between the the two kingdoms.
It was inevitable
>>47952163Thx for running Blorp
>>47952198Well, it would npot be too far fetched that Vert has Big, Little and Half sister, which live in Laputer.
For the few of you who have somehow been uninformed.
>>47952227fuck, I'm still plowing through One
>>47952236Same here. Fuck.
>>47952163Thanks Blorp, you da best.
>>47952163Thanks for running, Blorp! Sleep well!>>47952123So the takeaway from this is that yes, the goddess of computers would be unbelieveably powerful, since I'm pretty sure my desktop rig is more powerful than the XBox Next or whatever they're calling it.Also shares are a thing you can inject to give more power? That combined with the picture name is making me feel... determined.Oh yeah and also we're screwed hahaha there must be someone better suited to fighting all these mind controlled goddesses out there
>>47952227Wait, we're on 7 already?I thought we'd only had 3?
>>47952197Nope. We'll use Nepgear to link to Noise and drain her of her overload . . . . AND TO ALSO MAKE NOIR AND NEPTUNE indirect ACTUAL SISTERS! MUWHAHAGAHAHA
>>47952281Counting the original games, yes, on 7. It can also be read as V2.
>Next BlackUnicorn Vert when?
Wait. We made Neptune a little sister goddess that needed shares to survive, right? We just had to attune her to Nep's Sharicite.Could . . . could we make Noir a little sister goddess maybe?*Cue Vert breaking through ALL OF THE WALLS between her and us to get herself the next little sister goddess.*
>>47952494Is it just me or is 4chan a bit slow right now? Is it due to /pol/ and the bexit thing?
>>47952227> July 5th> Just end of Steam-Summer-Sale>Mfw:>Captcha: Front side of storesI know, I must resist the urge
>>47952852Well it is 40% off.