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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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>Jerry accidentally opens up a portal in the middle of the adventuring guild. No one knows where it goes to, so Kramer and Newman make a pact with the king to dispose of all the city's garbage by tossing it in. In the end, it leads into the Elemental Plane of Earth, who somehow mistake George for flooding their entire dimension with trash
>Meanwhile, Elaine dates an extremely sexy and rich half-elf, but there's one problem: he's constantly on the cusp of sneezing
I have nothing to contribute but I will be keeping an eye on thsi thread.
>A desperate George tries to resurrect Susan for one more chance at a relationship, but he can only afford a reincarnate, and she ends up as a kobold
>Meanwhile, Kramer is evicted from his home and begins to live in an upright suit of plate mail in front of the paladin guild
top kek
>George implants fake memories into his girlfriend to convince her that she murdered a man so that she'll flee the city and he won't have to break up with her
>Meanwhile, Kramer becomes convinced that he's a silverbrow human and he's been unconsciously dying his hair black since childhood
>“What’s the deal with teleporter food?” asks the uploaded brain of Jerry during a virtual stand-up gig.
>George gets in a bitter fight with his genetically superior girlfriend when she insists that any children they have be biologically engineered. “How can she love me when she disrespects my DNA!” he asks to an empty room. His always-on retinal HUD displays several suggestions that may answer that question. His frustrated attempts to dismiss the suggestions are interpreted by his brain implant as a gesture requesting the next dozen pages of results.
>Elaine stands atop the spire of the J Peterman Building – the tallest in Neoyorkio – clutching Peterman’s head under her arm. “Yes, Elaine,” Peterman’s head telepaths to her, “Soon our nanobot army will rip apart our competition, atom by atom, and rebuild them into loyal servants of our great Corpor-nation.”
>When Kramer invokes his exocortex to artificially augment his brain’s computing power, he manages to create an android that’s actually smarter than himself, accidentally commencing the singularity.
>George concocts a scheme to transform himself into animals, sell the animal to dumb peasants, and then slip away during the night
>Meanwhile, Jerry dates a sorceress who he suspects is reading his mind
File deleted.
This is good.
>Jerry challenges a halfling to a fistfight in an attempt to impress his girlfriend, only to learn the halfling is actually a monk
>Meanwhile George proposes to his girlfriend at a funeral
>George feels tense about visiting his girlfriend's apartment after learning there's an invisible gorilla there. Things culminate when he purchases glasses of true seeing and learns that it's actually an invisible orangataun
>Meanwhile, Kramer is granted three wishes by all-powerful genie and uses them to start a dry-cleaning business
>Jerry needs to get into a theater to talk to a woman, so he somehow convinces the guards that he's Drizzt Do'Urden
>Meanwhile, George is cursed to lose one hair follicle for each adverb he uses
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Lurking thread. Good stuff.
>George attempts to impress a woman by claiming that he invented the spell fireball
>Meanwhile, Elaine gets out of being invited to a birthday party by claiming her boyfriend was a famous paladin who just died
>George learns he's the direct male descendant of an ancient hero who sealed away an omnipotent demon lord, and he must renew the seal by sacrificing his own life
>Meanwhile, Kramer somehow replaces all of the oak trees in the city with palm trees
>Desperate for money, George agrees to be the executioner of a wizard who prophecized his killer would meet with an even more painful death
>Meanwhile, Jerry's best friend from wizard school shows up, and he reveals that he's now a hot sorceress
>Elaine becomes ostracized from the adventuring guild after she is tricked into saying she worships Cyric
>Meanwhile, Kramer starts acting suspicious after returning from Werewolf Forest covered in bite marks
>Elaine has been crushing on this new sorcerer at work. Is worried it wouldn't work because they have different mana alignments.
>meanwhile Kramer debates with Newman over which tastes better grilled. Wyvern tail or dragon rib.
>Jerry enters banjo school after realizing the instructor is a hot bard lady
>Meanwhile, George realizes his shadow is missing
>Elaine accidentally joins a guild of lesbian amazons
>Meanwhile, all of the birds in the city start pooping on Kramer, and he doesn't know why
>What's the deal with level 1 male human fighters?
>Hey, Jerry, can I borrow this predigistiation?
>After losing trust in his cleric, George learns to astral project so he can check his own back for moles
>Elaine wants to break up with her boyfriend, but he's just been publicly challenged to a duel for her hand
>George breaks it off with his girlfriend after a vision of his death while they have sex. In the end, she's so obsessed that she hires a male prositute to imitate him only for him to have a heart attack during sex
>Meanwhile, Jerry has to share a table with a man who doesn't believe in magic
>Kramer builds a homemade Jerry marionette, only to find that the scenarios he creates actually come true, and he attempts to use this to his advantage
>Meanwhile, George is banned from the Guild of Awakened Animals when he brings an entire roasted chicken to an inter-guild gala
>Elaine purchases what she thinks is a feminine pointy wizard hat, only to be mistaken for a princess' pointy hat and gets kidnapped
>Meanwhile, Kramer purchases an entire banquet and clones himself so he can eat it all before it goes bad
>Elaine discovers a map to a hidden pirate treasure and slowly murders the other adventurers so she can keep it all for herself. In the end, the treasure turns out to be friendship
>Meanwhile, Jerry has a 95% chance to disable a trap and a 5% chance to spring it
generic FANTASY universe.
>After offending his sorceress girlfriend, Jerry is cursed to be mute until the end of the week--and his big stand-up routine for the king is scheduled in six days!
>Meanwhile, George dates an incorporeal undead, but he can't remember the difference between ghosts, spectres, wraiths, and phantoms. In the end, he accidentally banishes her to another dimension after proposing
>Kramer attempts to enter Evermeet by legally changing his name to Quorariel Forestmoonleaf
>Meanwhile, Jerry learns his new girlfriend is actually a serf--and Newman is her lord!
Someone archive this if it's not copypasta.
>Jerry asks a woman out, then is too scared to break it off when she casually mentions that she's actually a giant who's been shrunken for a few hours
>Meanwhile, Elaine tries to hide her six newly formed legs from Archduke Peterson after finding out about his severe arachnophobia
>George pretends to be into torture so he can gain magical barbarian scars
>Meanwhile, Kramer attempts to organize a Running of the Driders without the knowledge of consent of the government
>Elaine falls into a vat of blue paint and is mistaken for the leader of a Dark Elf house
>Meanwhile, George finds an abandoned tortoise shell and becomes convinced it's magical
> George finds an abandoned tortoise shell and becomes convinced it's magical

holy fucking shit
>George purchases an amulet that lets him roll three natural 20s on sexual encounters before running out of charge. Each time his girlfriend is unimpressed. At the end, he learns she's immune to critical hits
>Meanwhile, Archduke Peterson tells Elaine to light a candle to Tyr, but she accidentally lights one to Bhaal
too meta/10
>Jerry begins to have tremendous headaches whenever he sees the color orange
>Meanwhile, Elaine kisses a frog who claims to be a prince who can return to being humanoid after being kissed. She does so, but it turns out he's a dwarf prince, and she doesn't want to seem racist by refusing his advances
>Kramer opens a portal to Hell to save the city money on heating bills during winter
>Meanwhile, an angry Elven prince owes Jerry 30000 gold. He pays him in disassembled ladder poles
>The gang attempt to clear a dungeon only to discovered that it has recently been looted. They decide to travel to the end so they can make fun of the previous adventurer's handiwork.
>They discover that the adventurers died to an Ancient Red Dragon at the end of the dungeon who is still nursing wounds from the battle.
>Elaine suggests they slay the dragon but George and Jerry agree that it feels like cheating. They loot the bodies and leave in silence.
>Meanwhile Newman and Kramer get trapped in a bag-of-holding.
>Kramer accidentally crushes the king of a tiny warrior people and becomes their new ruler
>George attempts to exploit this to retrieve a powerful spellbook in his ex-girlfriend's apartment
>Kramer accidentally enters himself into both limbo competitions--at the same time!
>Jerry dates a gnome named Sherry solely because their names rhyme
>George falls in love with a serf, but she won't date any man who doesn't own his own wagon
>Meanwhile, Kramer crafts a crystal ball that lets him read the dreams of dogs
I would watch the Newman and Kramer arc for sure.
>Kramer breaks his entire skeleton and borrows Jerry's without asking
>George attempts to avoid paying taxes by cursing himself to be forgotten by everyone who doesn't look directly at him
>Elaine dates a baker just for the discount pastries
>Jerry starts asexually budding smaller versions of himself from the back of his knees, and becomes upset when one of them has better jokes than he does
>Kramer sets up an elaborate ruse to convince Lord Newman that they are the last people in the Prime Material Plane in order to find out his suitcase locker combination
>George tries to learn Celestial after the city is visited by a hot angel woman
>George believes an assassin is after him, so he spends all of his spell slots on ever more powerful versions of mage armor
>Kramer accidentally opens up an unclosable portal to the Elemental Plane of Kara-Turian pop music
>George and Jerry discuss the ethics of mind controlling women who are into that sort of thing
>Kramer believes he's become a vampire and attempts to suck Elaine's blood
>George exploits a loophole to be crowned King of All Elves
>Meanwhile, Jerry has a blind date with a "Brunhilda Hammerbeard," only to be disappointed when she turns out to be human
>Jerry purchases a new robe that's slightest too bright for the wizarding guild's strict rules
>Meanwhile, George dates himself
George dating himself is something I really want to see.
>George learns to astral project so he can check his own back for moles

>George purchases all of the kingdom's cows to prevent their hides from being turned into manuscript, all so that no one can write down that his pants fell down during a speech
>Meanwhile, Elaine finally makes a female friend, only to lose her when both audition for the same role in a play
>George purchases all of the kingdom's cows to prevent their hides from being turned into manuscript, all so that no one can write down that his pants fell down during a speech
>Meanwhile, Elaine finally makes a female friend, only to lose her when both audition for the same role in a play.
>George learns to speak telepathically to animals, then is surprised and suspicious when it works with his new girlfriend
>Kramer gets back a vacation and becomes convinced everyone in adventuring guild has been replaced by doppelgangers
Is this all just one guy posting these?

Ok: you are not a cuck, women find you attractive
That's not seinfeld dumbass.
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>You're a cuck, Jerry, a KEK!
>I don't see what the big deal is! So I got cucked, big whoop!
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>they removed the wordfilter for lowercase cuck but left it for all caps
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>You're a KEK, Jerry, a KEK!
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>You can't get doubles EVERY post, Kramer!
Isn't this basically what seinfelt was?
>No Jerry, see, this guy I know how works down at the docks has this system!
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Some of these are literally copied and pasted from there
>What about singles? Who's going to roll them?
See, that's the beauty of the system Jerry! It just makes the singles get rolled later. You get the doubles now and the singles later!
>Jerry I bought a screaming sword
>you bought a sword
>yes I bought a Screaming sword every time I take it out of the sheath it screams
>did you know you were buying a screaming sword
>why would I intentually but a screaming sword
>well then return the sword
>I like the sword Jerry
>you like the screaming sword
>besides the screaming I am in love with this sword
>What's the deal with page 10? Who are these posters?
>You'll never play fantasy Seinfeld because your players aren't clever enough to roleplay the dialogue.
>What's the deal with dialogue?
It's like Kramer is actually saying it.
>Jerry Potter
no/10 go home you're drunk
Of course, the entire cast would be gnomes.
>Jerry wins the award for "Kingdom's Greatest Fool" but is unsure if it's a compliment or an insult
>Meanwhile Kramer is trapped inside a gelatinous cube but refuses to get out
>George starts dating a mindflayer but doesn't want to eat brains
>Meanwhile Kramer and Elaine are convinced they've found the "Upper Torso of Vecna", Elaine wanting to sell it, Kramer wanting to use it
>Elaine's new boss is a Kender and keeps stealing her spell components
>Meanwhile, George keeps getting summoned by an amateur warlock
>Jerry is hired to do a gig for the psionic guild, but is worried they'll know he imagines them naked
>Meanwhile, Kramer might have polymorphed, cooked and eaten a tax collector!
>Kramer is kicked out of a group consciousness and desperately tries to get back in
>Meanwhile, Elaine is cursed with Mummy's Rot, but finds herself propositioned more as a result
>The Gang contracts lycanthropy from Cricket
>Frank, Dennis and Mac try and figure out who is the alpha
>Meanwhile, Charlie and Dee try and cure their condition through various means
>They argue if they should be "The Pack" now
>George keeps getting summoned by an amateur warlock

This, I would watch.

>Jerry discovers a fantastic garlic bread shop, but his new girlfriend is a vampire
>Meanwhile, George is legally declared a gnome
>George is kidnapped by agents from another kingdom after falsely claiming he works for Count Vandelay.
>Meanwhile, Jerry and Elaine make a bet over whether Jerry's relationship with a Chaotic Neutral woman will work out.
>jerry has his carriage stolen, but finds his stolen carriage back in the spot he left it the next day, with a new coat of paint and a fixed wheel, he doesnt know who did it and its driving him crazy.
>"It's exfoliating! Nobles kill for spa treatments like this!"
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this is a good thread.
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Its amazing.
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>"Last time, he got me while I was in the shower, Jerry. In the shower!"

>"In the shower?!"

>"In the shower, Jerry. I was at my most vulnerable, then 'Poof!' and I'm naked and wet at a child's birthday party."

>"A birthday party?!"

>"A child's birthday party. In front of all the kids, screaming and yelling..."

>"Well what did you do?"

>"I curled up and cried until the duration ran out. What COULD I do?"

>"If it's any consolation, George, I doubt he was trying to summon *you*"

>"Gee, thanks Jerry."

>"I'm just saying, you hate kids, so who would ever summon you to a kid's birthday party on purpose."
This thread is my new favorite thing.
>"Jerry you'll never believe it!"
>"not now kramer can't you see I'm helping george with something? "
>"oh, well what happened"
>"a salamander"
>"a salamander?"
>"yeah, a big one. george you wanna tell him?"
>"george just winces in pain under the bandeges"
>jerry looks at kramer "it was a real firey one."
>laugh track
>"okay but jerry you gotta listen."
>"okay i'm listening."
>"Elaine is dating an orc."
>jerry: "an orc?!" george:"am orrmm?!"
>"yeah, yeah, an orc, can you believe it? his name was. Gra- Gru, ah. something starting with a GR."
>"okay that narrows it down to just about every orc in New jork."
>Elaine walks in exasperated.
>"oh no, did he tell you?"
>"he told us."
>"what happened to george?"
>"a big salamander got him."
>"oooh, you know Gra-kruul is a shaman he could help with that."
>"GRA-KRUUL! that's his name!"
More please
TBF that's pretty good.
holy shit my sides.

>"Come on jerry tell'm"
>tell me what?"
>"Come aaaaaan. you told me."
>"Yes, and I'm starting to realize that was a mistake."
>"Jerry what the hell happened?"
>jerry just lets out a sigh. "all right."
>"george listen up this is great."
>"can it kramer. okay so you know that girl I was dating?"
>Christen? was? what happened!? she was perfect!"
>"yeah well a little too perfect."
>"what do ya mean?"
>"she was a shape shifter george."
>george remains unphased. "okay. so. what?"
>"George I don't think you understand the magnitude of the situation here."
>"No clearly I don't jerry you had the perfect woman in the palm of your hand and you break it off! I don't understand crazy people jerry!"
>Kramer is just chuckling
>"look, she wanted to take things to the next level. which I would be fine with, but."
>"have you ever seen a shapeshifter's true form george?"
>oh. come. ON. Jerry! so what? so you make love to a gelatinous pale pile of flesh every once and a while to make her feel better about herself. is that really not worth having the perfect woman."
>"you'd just have to see it george."
"Well with your permission i'd love to."
>Meanwhile, Elaine dates an extremely sexy and rich half-elf, but there's one problem: he's constantly on the cusp of sneezing
This is why you'll never find a man Elaine
>episode ends with Kramer telling George and Jerry about how he started dating a Kobold named Susan, and how she's everything he's dreamed about in bed
>Jerry gives George a look, George realizes that he's made a huge mistake
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>This is why you'll never find a man Elaine
He was only half man
>There's a plot arc about the main characters running a generic fantasy tabletop campaign.
What episode, I've seen 'em all but I don't remember this.
There wasn't.
>Goblins Jerry
>Goblins? what Goblins?
>last night I was talking to my guy and he knows some Goblins
>Does he want us to get rid of the goblins?
>No, no, no they want to move to the kingdom
>we pay to get them here, and they ramsack my storehouse
>You have a storehouse?
>Oh yea! been renting it for three months
>You've been renting it just so you can get goblins to ramsack it?
>Exactly Jerry, they ramsack it then we shoo them off, we look like heros they get to move to the slums and I get to move back into my storehouse
>Your living in the storehouse, What about your apartment
>I'm renting it to 12 Kobolts

fast forward to Kramer opening up a box full of suffocated goblins
This is capped or archived, right?

Just archived it.
>Alright, George, it's in range! Cast Fireball!
>...I forgot it.
>You forgot it?!
>I'm sorry, Jerry!
>You just spent four hours memorizing it, how can you have forgotten it!?
>Jerry's in his apartment, there's a slamming noise at the door
>Kramer opens the door, holding his head in pain as he stumbles in

>Hey Kramer, you feeling alright?
>I'm all out of whack, Jerry, it's this abyss that's opened up on the other side of the street, right outside my window.
>Yeah, so?
>I can't stop STARING at it, Jerry!
>Big deal, Kramer, it's just a magical black hole in space.
>You don't understand, Jerry, the abyss gazes back!
Comedy gold
>Jerry stops by George's tower, George comes to the door in his robe and wizard hat looking somewhat disheveled

>Hey, you wanna go check out that new dungeon on the east side?
>Are Kramer and Elaine coming with?
>Nah, Kramer's out with a new druidic circle and Elaine's organizing the J. Peterman Chronicle. We'll just stop by the guild and get a couple guys to come with.
>Come on, Jerry, you know I don't like going to the guild. What if it's only casters or only martials, there? What am I gonna do if it's you, a barbarian, and a monk, and I'm sitting in the back waving my hands while the rest of you are in the way of the action?
>Come on, it won't be like that, there's all kinds of people there.

>smash cut to later in the dungeon, where the scene George describes is happening
Don't forget to vote, everyone!
>"so Jerry I've been thinking about multiclassing."
>Jerry looks at George.
>"Multiclassing. George. multiclassing?"
>"Well yeah why not?
>"Well. allright what do you want to roll as your secondary?"
>"I'm thinking of going for a rogue route, I mean come on I'm already a caster, what could be more dangerous than a sneaky caster?"
>"No offense but the last time you succeeded a stealth roll was that time you thought your hoagie was hexed to come alive."
>"well if it was then it's a good thing I succeeded isn't it?"
>"george let me re-emphasize that you snuck up on a sandwhich."
>He's a gelatinous cube boy!
>A gelatinous cube boy?
>A gelatinous cube boy.
>What's a gelatinous cube boy?
>He lives in a gelatinous cube!
>How do you live in a gelatinous cube?
>I don't know, but he's doing it!

>This gelatin, it's making me thirsty!
>What's the deal with adventuring guilds? You've got a bunch of people with no stable means of income, coming together to go into musty old dungeons full of goblins to kill everything and take whatever they find inside. When are they going to change their names to Hobo Graverobbing and Extermination Services?

>Come on, Jerry, everybody's multiclassing. Take a couple levels in fighter, couple levels in rogue, go a bit nuts and be a druid for a bit...
>Kramer, how many classes have you trained in?
>Oh, you know... all of them. Got a couple buddies of mine to get me some supplemental stuff, trained in a few of those, too. Need me to fly a giant kite anywhere for you?
>Well, when you do, I'm here for ya.
multi classic kramer
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Not a lot of people would be able to come up with the kind of dialogue Seinfeld had on the spot.
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this thread is gold
>She's a kobold Jerry. A KOBOLD.
>I thought you liked her, what happened to her having a great personality?
>We talk and talk and it's great but then she goes to kiss me and it's like I'm making out with an old goblin
>Weeelll there was that time at Arcane University...
>I told you a hundred times, I had a curse of blindness on me! I couldn't see what I was doing!
>Nilbog seemed very happy about what you were doing

Go away.
At the tail end of that, Kramer bursts in as per usual.
"Nilbog? You know, that's 'goblin' spelled backwards, Jerry!"
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I think you guys might be thinking of this
There's also not much the GM could do besides set up the premise since much of the episodes are character-driven while they do mundane things.

>So what are we doing today?
>You guys are going to the blacksmith.
>You mean to prepare for our voyage to a dungeon?
>No, just to the blacksmith.
>That's it? How is that an entire gaming session?
>Oh, believe me. It's an entire gaming session...

It's like when they were pitching their show to NBC:

>Alright, so what's your game about?
>So get this: it's a game... about nothing.
>I don't get it.
>What did you do yesterday?
>I woke up and went to the tavern.
>That's a game!
>Well, what happens at the tavern?
>Nothing! Nothing happens!
>Well, *something* has to happen...
>Well, why am I playing this game?
>Because it's on the table!
>Not yet it isn't...
OTOH, players should be able to come up with half the episode as Kramer story arcs are pretty much PC plans:

>Hey, Jerry. Can I borrow your wagon?
>Sure, Kramer. What's up?
>Newman and I are starting a moving company.
>Moving company. That's a lot of work, Kramer.
>Ah, but Newman and I got it all figured out. You see, we just bought this bag of holding from this guy on the street.
>Oh. So you guys are gonna go around the house, packing stuff into the bag of holding. You know, that's *still* a lot of work.
>No, we're just gonna pack the whole house into the bag.
>The whole house?
>Kramer, I don't think that's how a bag of holding works. What's the biggest thing you've stuffed into a bag of holding?
>I... put my coat into it this morning.
>Your coat.
>But it was a big coat!
>And now you're gonna try a house. How are you going to get a whole house into a bag of holding?
>That's why I got Newman! He'll hold one side of the opening, I'll grab the other, then we'll just run around the house and *BLOOP!* into the bag!
>So let's say you managed to get the whole house into the bag. How are you going to get it out?
>Well, we'll just trot on over the where the people want to move it, turn the bag upside down, and *pop*! There it is!
>... Oh, this I gotta SEE.

Episode ends with Kramer and Newman being chased out of town by an angry town mob, banned from ever entering Stonehaven.

>How was I supposed to know someone had stuffed a drake into the bag??

*cue end credits*
Not to shit all over this thread, but most of these aren't really Seinfeld episodes.

Seinfeld was all about making fun of common things we run into in our everyday lives. It questioned social norms and why we do certain things/can't do certain things (like double dipping chips).

These are just generic sitcom episodes, where wacky hijinks just happen. It's the equivalent of Steve Urkel and Carl getting locked in a basement, not something they'd do on Seinfeld. That's not to say wacky things didn't happen in Seinfeld, just that they were usually the result of a character trying to break some kind of tradition (like, Festivus was wacky times, but the episode is really about George trying to get out of the Christmas gift-giving tradition).

Generic Fantasy Seinfeld would be an episode where they question why a spell or game mechanic works a certain way/doesn't work a certain way. Or Elaine trying to get a paladin to fall because she thinks he's cute and wants to sleep with him but knows he can't as long as he's a paladin because of his oath (and then it ends with her getting him to fall but losing interest in him because he's not as hot without his holy aura).
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You forgot your sign.

>George concocts a scheme to become undead in order to avoid paying taxes.
>Meanwhile, a particular bard keeps stealing Jerry's punchlines at guild events.
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Criminally underrated post
This is actually the best post in the thread.
That was a different, but also good thread.
>After acting dodgy and suspicious, Kramer reveals that they're from a girl he's been seeing who lives in the forest and is into rough stuff. Kramer is then shocked to find out that she is obviously a werewolf. Turns out it doesn't transmit that way, and she gets pissed and leaves him. At the end it's revealed that he got fleas. Double joke, he already had them and gave them to the werewolf.
>The gang are arrested for malfeasance when it's revealed their laugh track has actually been them unintentionally casting Tasha's Hideous Laughter.
This idea strikes me as a good candidate for compilation into a random roll table.

Randomly encountering the cast of Seinfeld as fantasy characters?

Or the situations for random scenarios that can happen?
>George suffers ability score damage and can only communicate through bardic performance. Meanwhile, Kramer takes on an apprentice while experimenting with necromancy, causing Jerry to lose sleep every night.
>"I don't understand! You're level 2 now, you should be able to make diplomacy checks using your perform skill!"
>George furiously strums his lute in frustration
>George and Jerry find a Potion of Treasure Seeking and debate whether to use it or save it for later. Newman drinks it and ends up finding George's piggy bank
>Meanwile, Kramer is convinced he's figured out a way to game the Reincarnation tables so he can be revived as a satyr. In each scene he's in, he appears as a dfferent ridiculous animal
>Elaine starts dating a member of the Assassins' Guild, but gets worries that she won't be able to dump him without getting murdered. Ultimately, she has to take out a hit on him
>Meanwhile, George discovers that no spell, potion or magic item that regrows hair will work on him. Even polymorphing leaves him as a bald version of the creature, until he discovers that getting turned into a turtle consistently gives him an amazing pompadour. This only drives him further crazy
>George accidentally offends the God of a minor Cult, but refuses to apologize because he sees nothing wrong with double dipping.
>Elaine must endure a curse of lesser misfortune and misunderstanding, but isn't sure whether the curse is real.
>Jerry is dodging a notorious Warlock after he accidentally feigned interest in making a deal with her Demonic Master at a Jousting Match while trying to get her number.
>Meanwhile Kramer and Newman get caught up in a shady Crusade working for George's Father who has created a new and better god-- FESTIVUS! AIRER OF GRIEVANCES! MASTER OF THE SHORT STOP!
>"you need to stop casting that laughing spell"
>"Why? I can do it once every short rest."
>"Yeah, but you're only funny once every long rest."
>[sorcerous laughter]

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