What are your worst horror stories of other players'/DMs' magical realm bullshit or unwanted ERPing?
>>54521560What's that image from, OP?Storytime:>first session of campaign>enter bar>GM describes naked lithe feminine catboy approaching me>spends half an hour roleplaying this feline rentboy trying to pick me up>i leave the bar, catboy follows>i try to find a different inn, catboy follows>i draw a weapon, catboy runs away out of reach>i pull out a crossbow, catboy hides>i move on, suddenly catboy is there againEventually I tell the GM to stop fucking around and tell me what he wants me to do with the catboy, since the game clearly isn't going to progress without him. The GM said he's decided the catboy is going to be my character's love interest.I leave the table.
>>54521560I know a guy who stealth Magical Realms but knows to keep it on the down low.
>>54523007That's fine, right? As long as it doesn't influence other people, let him have his fun.
>>54522937I can't actually remember. Some nuzlocke comic I found on deviantart looking for the shittiest pokemon art I could find, years ago. To be fair, this is the least uncomfortable thing I found.Also fuck, that sounds awful. Was there any way the party could've helped you track him down and beat the shit out of him? I guess the GM would've just poofed him to safety...
Strong and domineering women have a tendency to transform into big monsters in my current campaign, and it's happened at a rate that feels a bit more than coincidental.>Bitchy princess cursed to transform into aboleth at night and locked up in dungeon>Gruff enemy general woman revealed to be a disguised dragon>Friendly tomboy warrior woman is also a lycanthrope>Evil priestess soul swaps with beholder >Other evil priestess gets polymorphed into griffon for a boss fightAll in one campaign. I get the feeling this is definitely the GM's "thing" but I guess it's not too egregious.
There's this super sweet girl in our current group who was so excited to join in our campaign that she drew a big group picture of our party and linked us to it in her art blog.It was a really, really nice gesture, but following links in her art blog really quickly led me over to her "nsfw" art blog where I realized the exact same character she's playing in our campaign is the avatar character she uses for her art about getting rawed by werewolves and monster boys.She's a real good rper, but knowing that her PC is literally the exact same character as her fetish OC has been making things kinda awkward.
>>54524668First you pander to her kinks, all subtle-like.Then you get the hand-holding.Then you get the sex.Then you get the weird sex.Then you get the really weird sex.Then you get married, settle down, and remember your youth with wistful fondness.
>>54524668Nigga, you better share that art blog. Can't just be talking about a good RPer who also just happens to want to get rammed by monsters and not drop a link.
>>54524668This dish is obviously lacking some sauce.
>>54524668Sauce, motherfucker. Also, what this nigga says: >>54524779
>>54524668100% your fault. She kept her magical realm off the table, you're the one who went digging on her blog. This is akin to peeping on someone in the shower, then accusing them of exposing themselves when you're caught.
>>54525362Found the player.
>>54525647Yeah, no. I wish I had a group... Also, I can draw about as good as I can fly.
>>54521560I've told this story before, and to be honest, it's more "Mommy issues" than direct ERP/magical realm.>Join roleplaying group.>Told that my character needs to have a detailed background, everyone else does as well.>Apparently got started by That Guy.>He's a rogue>Among other things, his mother was a whore, and raised him in the gutter, which is kind of how he grew up on the margins of society, blah blah blah.>We wind up heading to the town that That Guy's character hails from.>Says he wants to look up his mom.>Has big bag of money with him.>Aww, he's going to try to save her from her life of poverty and sexual exploitation.>nnnope.>Pays her a big chunk.>States that he wants her to fuck his horse.>She tries to back out.>He gets the pimp.>Pimp pimpsmacks her, and we get an awkwardly narrated sex scene (GM wanted to fade to black, but That Guy kept insisting that they play it out) between whore mom and horse.>Eventually spits on her, and says he made that much in one random fight, and the only reason she never made it out of her life is because she's weak and stupid.
>>54524668SHARE THE ART YOU CUNT MUFFIN
>>54524668just post the sauce you beardless garden gnome
>>54526016Glorious.Why can't YOU be this good of a role player?
>>54524668I'm afraid, well never see a conclusion to this.
>>54524779pic related had the best theme
>>54529837t. literal whoreson in question
>>54522937i'm pretty homo and like traps myself but that's annoying as shit. how do these people function?also i haven't been playing tabletop long enough to come across any magical realm ERP shit. the only time it may have been close to magical realm I was DMing (let me explain)>playing pathfinder, like i said i haven't been playing tabletop for long, > played one or two sessions before but this group is the only ones i've managed to hold regular meetings with as everyone's willing to rework schedules for game night.>be player at first, then ask if i can gm>party arrives at enormous city.>they're there to see one party member's mother who recently survived an assassination attempt. >as the party is exploring the city they come across a bookstore attended by a qt.314 gnome.>players ask what they see while she walks in the back to grab some scrolls.>to the half orc rogue.>"you peer around the humble little shop and your eyes come to rest on the large academic tome the gnome was reading, underneath is a slimmer pamphlet looking a bit saucier than what you'd find offered at the shop.">investigate>finds out she was reading half-orc erotica while at work>party has a small laugh at the absurdity of it and we encourage him to ask her out.>they go on a date later and while he's out scoring gnome pussy the party is jumped in an alley>he gets back to her apartment carrying her home drunk, finds it's been broken into>fights the guy inside, jumped by another he didn't see. has no choice but to kill them. >gnome gf wakes up and walks in>screamingwench.jpeg>half-orc runs off before the city guard show up to ask questions.
>>54524668>not sharing her art blogCall it a hunch, but I'm starting to think you made this up for attention
>GM always bends the rules for their character and tries to make everyone like them>Said character is a brown rabbitgirl who uses attacks clipped from fate, the series>Any wrong that they do was a mistake>They ignore things that make them sound bad>Comes from a powerful family>Can't take criticism of any sort, tries to make everything about the character >Eventually after months of conflict, we discover that it's actually a GMPC because it's the gm's "Alter ego" or something, and has been for 10 years
>>54534586Not mentioned here are the GM's fetishes, which we learned all about. But that's another story.
>>54532660>being this butthurt over someone being a better roleplayer than you.
>>54526016To be fair, the rogue isn't wrong, most people are practically complacent in their shitty lives.
>>54521560I've seen a DM who turned everything to NTR, then had the gall to say "The signs were obvious, you just didn't see it." Like, I sent a girl who was specifically a sexy spy to go undercover and steal information from a Baron, but she ended up betraying the party and got my PC tossed into a dungeon.HER ENTIRE JOB WAS TO BE AN INFILTRATOR. I literally sent her to do her job.
Here's a question. Where did you unintentionally cause the Magical Realm? Either GMing and unknowingly put in one or more PCs fetishes and make shit awkward. Or unwittingly roll up a fetishbait PC that due to either not being your own Magical Realm, or through sheer autism you play half a campaign with, only to look back 6 months in at pure horror and disgust at what you've done.Not that I've ever done that of course. That would be retarded
>>54521560From my fav character ever>be me>Dwarven Crusader of the Allfather>going into town to procure bedding and furniture for my new watchtower>go to seamstress>she is fingering herself on the counter>loudly moaning>shouting my name>ihaveneverbeenhereb4.jpg>Realm Master gives me a test of will>mywillisastheironoftheAllfather.png>fail miserably>dwarven erection>"o hai dorfanon, i didnt see you there tee hee">fuckthishumanshitimout>she grabs me by the shoulder>try to push her off>dwarven crusader of over 100 years of service is pinned by a human woman 1/10 my age and weighs less than I.>raped>forever shamed by clan>tfw
>>54535176>her entire job was to be an infiltratorAnd clearly she succeeded. >I literally sent her to do her job. And so did he.
>>54535826Not him, but I am pretty sure you aren't suppose to rat out your employer, especially before they pay you.
>>54535560Story time anon
>>54535963You are if they were never your real employer, just someone your real employer hired you to infiltrate by posing as their employee.
>>54521560>tfw the only magical realm story that happened to me was due to complete coincidence and mostly cute. On one hand I feel like I'm missing out but on the other hand I feel happy that I have missed out.
>>54535560I've told this story before, but here we go.>Friend says he has a great idea for a campaign>We'll all be were-creatures of various species. Our village's bloodline was cursed generations ago.>Our were-forms wouldn't be like a typical werewolf from Thriller or whatever, we'd just be a nasty, giant version of the actual animal>Someone chooses to be a were-snake, on the night of the waxing Gibbus he turns into a giant snake and we have to subdue him>We all pick various animals, someone picks a frog, someone picks a pangolin>I decide to create a cleric who worships the goddess of mishapen beasts and monsters, seems appropriate>My godess' form is that of a hyena, so that's the were-beast I choose>Sessions pass, we're travelling across the countryside, someone is transforming into were-animals every couple nights>Everyone has good fun hiding our affliction from the farmers and guards>After about 6 months in real life we earn favour with some mysterious god-thing who gives us the ability to control our transformation at will>Cool!>We also gain the ability to transform into a 'hybrid' form of our were-selves>Uh oh.>It was around this point that I realized that female hyenas have something very...unique about their physiology.>Did I mention my character was a chick?And then I realized I was playing an eight-foot-tall furry woman with a dick.
>>54522937>tfw I would have been totally down for this if it was handled tastefully>tfw it probably would not be
>>54526016Thought you were going to say he was trying to fuck his mother.Is it bad that I'm disappointed he didn't?
>>54535660Don't worry anon, what you were wearing wasn't asking for it
>>54536433You know that's only spotted hyenas right?There are other kinds of hyena.
>>54536433That lucky group
>>54536213 tell us what happened
>>54538744Well basically it went down like this>get an invitation to join an online group doing a fantasy roleplay>am told I will be coming a bit late into the campaign so the other >think long and hard about what kind of character to make and how they would meet the party>Decide to go for the damsel in distress route, but invert it>play an effete drow princeling kidnapped by the agents of a rival matron to be held hostage on the surface, so his mother couldn't get to him>since he was tormented by his captors throughout the arduous journey, he would quickly bond with whoever rescued him, and opt to stay with them rather than return home, as his family wasn't much better than his kidnappers>the party, not knowing any of this was going down, was fighting their way through the kidnappers hideout, unaware I would soon be joining them.>I'm tied up in the trophy room with all the loot, starved and battered and generally looking like something the cat dragged in>the door bursts open an in comes>A>FUCKING>WOOD ELF>mfw>so my character ends up just sort of spazzing out because he's not sure if he's going to be rescued or murdered >it could have gone either way honestly, but the rest of the party rushes in before things escalate.>woodelf is basically a twin of my own character by the way, only more athletic and brown rather than my guy's light purple and frail body.>anyway because the cleric was a huge moralfag who was all like "muh mercy, muh he might be good" they end up taking him in and nursing him back to health over a few days.>just to clear things up, my drow is not some goody two-shoes, he's more or less lawful evil and only looks after himself, except that now after being rescued by these weird strangers he is feeling all these weird non-drow feelings like gratitude and humility (since he fully expected to just be killed)>especially towards the woodelf, who was the first friendly face he had seen in months.cont'd
>>54524668OPs absence hints toward the fact that this is fake as fuck.
>>54539178before we go further I just want to explain how he was able to stick with them on the surface. Basically they just wrapped him in bandages and said he was a victim of weird magical shit and since the party already had a good reputation no one thought anything of it.>drow keeps trying to make nice with the wood elf (and be helpful to the party in general) but fails since he cannot into surface culture. Examples of fuckups and awkward moments include:>offering to murder someone the wood elf didn't like>almost getting the party killed when he heard them complain about being low on funds so he found his way into the black market and stole some drugs from the local dealers to sell at much higher prices, nearly starting a street war. >greatly embarrassing the party by walking up to the consort of the lord they were meeting and completely snubbing the actual lord, because he thought the wife was the one in charge>trying to solve a border dispute by suggesting tactics that only weren't a war crime because no one in the kingdom was evil enough to think of them until now.>eventually most of the party is beginning to reconsider keeping him with them, but then during a fight against some orcs he saves the other elf by taking a near-lethal blow and almost dying himself.>party realizes that he may be incredibly, incredibly fucked up but he is clearly capable of altruism so they decide to try and teach him how to people>actually they draw straws because no one actually wanted to deal with all that>the wood elf loses (I think the GM did that on purpose by the way, I got some fujo vibes off of her.)>party member that distrusts my drow the most and also is liked the most by my drow ends up having to spend a lot of time deprogramming his fucked up psyche.>they have a big scene where my drow just starts bawling because he realizes he's so far gone he doesn't even know how to properly express non-sadistic compassion>pic semi-relatedcont'd
>>54539424>wood elf begins to stop hating him and just feel sorry for him>my drow just follows him around like an abandoned puppy whenever he's not doing anything specific>pretty much everyone else in the party knows my drow has got a thing for him, but the two elves actually haven't figured it out yet (wood elf because he's dense, drow because he doesn't know what normal, non-spidery love is)>anyway after some time fighting the local criminal organizations we start to figure out that there was some big bad pulling the strings>start digging deeper into it and learns that drow are controlling the kingdom's crime rings from the shadows>shit gets real and we end up going against a full clan>eventually the leader herself comes out to deal with us>its my drow's mother>she's pretty pissed at my character but promises to spare me if I help her kill the rest of the party>my character does a really heartfelt speech that I forgot how it went, about how this is his new family, drow society is kinda fucked up, there's someone he couldn't bear to disappoint, ect ect>ends up grabbing wood elf's hand near the end>she gets mad>wood elf, who has just figured out why my drow has been acting like he was the whole time, notices she got mad>grabs my drow by the waist and gives him the frenching of a lifetime>drow's mother gets so fucking apoplectic at seeing her son embraced by a filthy surface elf that her wards waver enough for the rest of the party to mount an attack and kill her>drow and wood elf are now partners and don't leave one another's sideI know this all sounds pretty vanilla but this whole sort of scenario is like, ultimate boner fuel for me. I just intended for it to be a comedy thing, but it evolved into one of the most adorable romances I've seen and I definitely had fun with it.
>>54536213>>54539178>>54539424>>54539695That was fucking adorable anon, thanks for sharing.
>>54539958thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it!
>>54539695That was pretty cute
>>54521560>join an in-progress campaign>one of the characters has a "rage" mode where the DM takes control of his character>fight with drakes ensues>legit dragon comes down>player activates rage>DM lies about him getting a crit in combat and proceeds to describe in detail the character cutting off the dragons head, pulling his pants down and masturbating to completion on top of the corpseSetting was described to me as semi-realistic too.
>>54540047Yeah it was definitely a fun campaign. We never got the chance to do it, but I can only imagine the chaos that will ensue when the two of them break it to wood elf's family. Maybe in the next campaign if its possible.
>>54532853>I'm homo and like traps>pathfinder Checks out.
>>54525690Found the artistically gifted harpy.
>>54539695c u t e
>>54541082someone should drawfag it
>>54541082I'm happy to see that so many people are enjoying the story. I have to sleep now but yeah, if people are reading this thanks for taking the time to listen to my shoddy attempts at storytelling. If the thread is still up in 8 or so hours and more people have replied I'll probably get back to you. Sorry if that sounds silly I just try to reply to everyone who replies to me because I think its polite. Anyway I think the sleep deprivation is getting to me so goodnight.
>>54541131Actually fuck it before I go to sleep here's a description of the two elves in case someone actually tries drawfagging. I'm not asking for it or anything, I just won't be around to answer questions for awhile and I'd feel bad if someone wanted to draw them but lacked the information to do so.Drow:>pale purple skin>white hair (just above shoulder length, wavy, and extremely fluffy) >red eyes>feminine, body is slender>normally wears a robe and enchanted round glasses that help him filter out sunlight until he can get used to it.>wears dark leather armor and uses a hand crossbow/dagger combo in combat>5'8Wood elf>brown skin>straight, sandy blonde hair that's about chin length>green eyes>looks feminine, but has a toned gymnast body>normally wears a tunic and boots>wears normal leather armor and uses a spear in battle>wears the pants in the relationship>5'9Ok now goodnight for reals
>>54521560It's not THAT bad, but it's something.NOTE: DM specifically promised NO ERP at the beginning.>a bit into our campaign>recently found some magic fabric, REALLY nice shit, lots of interesting properties>first thought is to get it made into a skintight suit, because why not?>in a town, find a tailor>note: tailor is a gryphon>asks me to remove my baggy clothes to take measurements>I say I strip down to my underwear, she's a professional and all, and not even human>DM "lol, what underwear?'>apparently the DM has decided I go commando>mfw I didn't even know I wasn't wearing underwear, apparently>she measures and gets real close>he makes me roll not to get an erection, because apparently I'm into catbirds now>succeed, no boner today>she lets me dress>come back to pick up spandex suit of magic>she doesn't want money>drags me across town to a secluded room>has me preen her wings with my 'dainty hands'>she gets off from wing stimulation>DM spends a great deal of time describing the incredible musky catbird mating smell I now reek of>I gather my friends and we leave town quickly>they make fun of my smell>later I shot down an airship and it crushed her office>she was fine but mad and DM had an excuse for her to talk to me again>whoopsThere's more.
>>54541700>I gather my friends and we leave town quickly>they make fun of my smellI like your friends
>>54541700>much later, she and many others are kidnapped to power some sort of magic superweapon>she was killed and had her soul stuck in a big crystal of wailing doom>I'm not a dick, so I grab the sacrificial knife and through some absurd rolls pull her soul out of the spooky crystal>DM said since I knew her, her soul was easiest to retrieve>ran out of time, couldn't save others>thankfully there were some soulless bodies wandering around, so I stuck her in one and we booked it>with no house to go back to, since I dropped an airship on it, she just followed me home>she now lives with me>due to the eldritch abomination tier shit she went through, character is nice about it and doesn't boot her out>much much later>I had kept the soul sucking knife, we bodyswapper now>I'm now in the body of a winged horse/unicorn thingy>my character was a thief, so he thought body snatching was the next step up after safecracking>also it had bitchin' magical powers, which are now mine>we had to paralyze it with poison to do the swap, so I'm immobile>get dropped on my bed by annoyed friends>unwanted waifu appears and starts asking questions about what happened, emphasizing whether or not everything was 'intact and working properly'>DM made a point of saying I was dropped on the bed on my back, legs spread, completely helpless, as she stalked around me>end session because it's really late>next week, I ask how my rape went>DM gets super flustered, claims not to remember any shit like that, and keeps changing the subject>says he was tired, that's why he suddenly wanted big horse cock ERP>retcons and says I had a nice peaceful rest>DM is also pissed I used the knife to start stealing stupidly overpowered NPC bodies>unwanted waifu is now going on about how she misses the HUMAN me, and wants me to switch back>implying I'll get some sweet ficki ficki if I doThis is where we're at now. I just wanted adventure, but DM keeps wanting me to fuck this thing.
>>54541700>NOTE: DM specifically promised NO ERP at the beginning.That should have been your red flag. It's like seeing a plate of brownies and having the guy who baked them promise, apropos of nothing, that he didn't shit in them.
>>54541871>my character was a thief, so he thought body snatching was the next step up after safecracking
>>54524668Well at least she's got good taste, if she even exists.>>54539695D'aw, thank you for sharing this, anon.
>>54541871The answer is obvious.You need to use that magic knife and a series of body swap schemes to get her stuck in the body of a house plant. That should shut her up for a bit.
>>54539695This kind of shit gives me life, good work anon
>>54539695Gayshit done right.
>>54543745Nah just gay
>>54543763cute faggotry tho
>>54539695Someone do a screencap of this shit and the replies right goddamn now./tg can be saved.
>>54544157Also, archive maybe?
>>54544566Definitely.We must preserve this, to show the world /tg isn't just a degenerate boa-oh...right.Seriously though, preserve this thing, its beautiful.
>>54544591Do you just submit a request or?
>>54524441Would you feel differently if these characters were male?
>>54526016I've seen this copypadta.
>>54535963Anon, what is a double agent?
>>54544608I have absolutely no idea.
>>54541871>says he was tired, that's why he suddenly wanted big horse cock ERPThis is why you fap BEFORE the roleplaying session, lads.
>>54544891fuck me neither
>>54543763I bet you're the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach-around!
>>54544986Wait I figured it out, am putting in request
>>54545047wait if you archive it does suptg save it at the point in time in which you updated it or will it have the whole thread in there when it finally dies? Just wondering if I should hit submit now or later. Sorry if I'm being retarded, its late.
>>54545116All right I did it. Sorry if I fucked it up.
>>54541301I did cap them, but I'm too fucking stupid to figure out how to stitch them together like you see on greentext threads. I can post them individually, or a kind hearted anon could teach me how to fish.
>>54544608>>54544891>>54544986>>54545047>>54545116>>54545499Sure smells like summer in hereIn all fairness though, it's a cute storyKind of mature depth i'd like for once in one of my games, instead of the typical swords and sorcery and the offensive jokes
i saw someone say once that you can re-archive an already archived thread to update it.no idea if that's true.
>>54522937>>54536917Yeah, I'm down for lithe catboys but "Here is an NPC I decided to make it your love interest and will railroad you into it" is shit completely regardless of what the specific NPC is.
>>54545116>>54549106The archive auto-updates the thread, don't worry.
>>54540866I spat out my drink, and I'm stealing this NPC.
>>54526488Why did I lose it to this?
>>54541871>next week, I ask how my rape wentFucking christ anon, that got me
>>54541700>>54541871Anon, i'm not saying you brought it upon yourself, but that sure was a series of... strange decisions.
>>54522937>not wanting a trap catboywhat are you anon, gay?
>>54550581>>54532853>>54536917>>54549231The general consensus is that the problem is more how it's handled.Also, handsome catmen > cute catboys.
>>54549881I am literally at full mast right now. Cute lewd is top tier.
>>54550545Looks like Anon was just trying to be nice, both IC and OOC. I.e. IC motivations to not tell the gryphoslut to fuck off, and OOC trying not to stir up drama. The GM was kinda abusing that later portion.>>54550581I (one of the guys quoted by >>54550611) want to pick my own gay catboi husbwaifu, not have the first one on offer be forcibly shoved down my throat.Notwithstanding possible vore-fetish GM doing that literally.
>>54550611>>54550651I was kidding, chill out guys.Why don't I have players like you guys?Also I disagree on the catmen, if they get too bara or furfaggy it goes in the incinerator instead of on my dick
>>54550676I can see furfaggy (especially if it's dumb dimorphism), but there ain't anything wrong with bara.
>>54550676>Why don't I have players like you guys?Because most people still didn't learn to give less of a fuck about things that make them uncomfortable.
Well...the worst is completely subjective since I'm also into that shit. But These are the only times so far where magical realm kinkyness happened.But so far the only time we had some magical realm, another player took over GMing after our regular GM had a little burnout. Let's just say...she's a bit of a weeb. A kinky weeb. So far my goblin:> diddled with a female goblin> had sex with the leader of cult of a goddess of sex and fertility (I rolled really well and since it was also a festival in the name of her goddess going on at the time, she had no reason to decline)> diddled the same female goblin again> got squeezed into some lamia boobies by said lamia as she was sleeping, though I almost suffocated> tried to help a young centauress from slipping on slippery steps and got sat on by her as she fellWe never went into much detail, but the last part had some of the other players go wtf for a bit.
>>54550676>Why don't I have players like you guys?Because it's hard to distance people being chill about sexy/fetishy from ones being crazy bitches about them.Also catboys are a sliding scale that needs some fine tuning.
>>54550772>Sat on by a horseSounds more painful than kinky.>>54550784I'm just gonna interject there and thank FF XIV for finally giving us a non-furry catpeople race.
>>54550814It was a small horse. Very delicate even.
>>54550826So.. a pony?
>>54550910A young centauress. Geez.[Spoiler]But I'd be fine with that too.[/Spoiler]
>>54539695Holy fuck this is horrible. What shallow garbage.
>>54546268In what world is that escapist trash mature? It reads like the script to a Hollywood film.Glad you guys are happy we're becoming another reddit tier, participation award hugbox. Good RP can aspire to be something more than just comfy. We should celebrate the people who find new understanding through their sessions. Not those who find some misplaced sense of belonging after pitch perfect imitation of capeshit tropes.Be better /tg/
>>54551156>>54551113sorry to hear you're such plebs>escapist trashWhere the fuck do you think we are?
>>54551193Its tg, so theres a mix.Sure, you get the deep escapist nerds. E.g. the 4 or 5 folks rationalizing the childish joy they get from gay elf story as teegee returning to form (opposite is true)But there's plenty here who's interest is in games for challenge and have non-autistic, successful loves
>>54551263>games for challengeFuck off back to your 40k thread and your netlists then, the only magical realm you'll get out of that approach is if you have a fetish for your list getting stomped or something equally asinine>my opinion is the correct one, stop having fun in ways I don't likeClearly fun is not for you
>>54551307you cant make me have fun
>>54551156Sorry if what a stranger does in their freetime hurts your feefees.
>>54551156/tg/ can't be better. /tg/ allows people to kick out other people because they have badwrongfun. the people who remain in /tg/ are not the better people at all.
54551156>Glad you guys are happy we're becoming another reddit tier, participation award hugbox. careful with that edge mate, you might hurt yourself>We should.....No mate I'll do what I damn well please
>>54524441>>Friendly tomboy warrior woman is also a lycanthropeI can be doin' with this.
>>54551432thats not their point, the point is your opinion doesent matter and no one needs to hear that you dislike something or that you think others are wrong in having fun based on your own subjective judgements.You could have inferred this by reading but you didnt.
>>54551519you cant make me read either
>>54551519pretty sure the guy is just baiting
>>54551536I'm pretty sure in this thread we're all 'bating
>>54539695That was shit. And gay as fuck to boot.
>>54539695Yeah, this feels too contrived to actually have happened. I've had players literally bully a villain to death, though.
>>54551536I like to give the amount of stupid tg can produce the benefit of the doubt. But yeah lts bait.
>>54551640A lot of the seeming contrivance is the fact you're getting a multiple session, long term situation that doesn't include anything about the other party members or over how many sessions it occured. It's a reader's digest version, and doesn't have a lot of extraneous stuff, so of course it sounds contrived.
>>54541273All right so I have returned and oh gosh I think I derailed the thread a bit sorry. Anyway to the people who did enjoy the story thank you for taking the time to read it, and to the people who didn't like the how things went I appreciate that you have a different idea of how to have fun in a campaign and I hope you find a group that lets you enjoy yourself.Also >>54551640 it did happen, but you are correct that it was somewhat contrived. The GM admitted to me that making my character's mother the villain (well a villain, the campaign went on longer after that) was something she did after my character joined the party, because she thought it would be an interesting development. However, most of the other stuff happened entirely organically. >>54551711 is also correct in that I greatly truncated a lot of the story in order to focus on the romance plotline.>I've had players literally bully a villain to death, though. This sounds like a great story though. Would you care to share it?
>have an account and a handful of characters on a well known roleplaying site>find the idea of magical realm stuff in an RPG weirdDo I just have stage fright?
>>54539695Good read but could have done without the faggotry.
>>54542001I haven't shit in my brownies yet but I don't promise not to later on, okay?
>>54552590The faggotry was the whole point of it, and I need more dammit!
>>54552566It's just personal preference. Some people like their fuck writing and their other writing separate, and others like to cross the streams.
>>54553242I actually can remember a few other notable little vignettes if you're interested. I have enough time to tell all of them but feel free to let me know what you guy(s) would like to hear first.>Drow and friends bluff their way past dark elf sentries through crossdressing and implied BDSM>Drow and Wood Elf go on a date and its almost ruined due to cultural differences>Wood Elf tells his ranger friends about his relationship
>>54553547>Drow and friends bluff their way past dark elf sentries through crossdressing and implied BDSMmy dick is diamonds already
>>54549881Its going to be odd seeing this reposted
>>54553633All right, the crossdressing story it is. Just for context, this happened right around when the party was starting to really crack down on the dark elf core of the crime rings.>party finds the location of a drow outpost in the catacombs below the city>contains a macguffin that is needed to find transport routes for the syndicate.>party needs to sneak in so the macguffin isn't removed before they can steal it>leader hits on the idea that they could use my drow to open the gates for them>my drow says that wouldn't work because he's only a lowly male and the guards would ask questions>this does not deter the party>throw my character into a dress with much protesting, female member of the party helps him do makeup>the plan is put into motion>enter the catacombs and detect two male drow guards just around the corner, here is my moment to shine.>too bad my character is scared shitless>wood elf gives him some words of encouragement though and he eventually gathers his nerve and rounds the corner>dragging the rest of the party along in chains behind him>rolls bluff to present himself as an emissary from a distant part of the syndicate who will be staying here for awhile to ensure everything is up to snuff, and that the party were his mindbroken fucktoys and spoke at length of the horrific fun they were going to have once properly situated.>party hears all of this>rolls really fucking well>guards are convinced my character is a sadistic sociopath with a very high ranking in the organization and god help them if they delay her any further>party is practically shoved inside>when we finally get a good distance into the lair, my drow unlocks the party's shackle's and tries really, really hard not to look them in the eye>party is looking at him like he's some kind of demonThey ended up getting the thing and barely escaping but man the journey back to base was just one long awkward silence.
>>54553873This is good stuff, keep 'em coming.
>>54553873Can we just make this into a legendary story?Like the tale of Edgardo.
>>54553947All right, here's the date story. This happened shortly after the two of them officially became a thing.>both elves have been avoiding each other since they don't know what to do next>wood elf decides to take the initiative and ask my drow on a date>drow says yes of course>goes to the party sorceress awhile later and asks what the fuck is a date>sorceress explains it as when two people who like each other very much agree to meet up and have fun>drow just nods, as he has seen this sort of thing in the underdark, thank you for the advice I will be going to prepare now>the only sort of romance he is familiar with is when a female selects a male and basically drags him off to be bedded or wedded>is now expecting to be roughly ravished by the wood elf the next time they meet>meanwhile, the wood elf is planning on taking my drow out on a horse ride through the forest>finds a decent pair of animals and takes them by the reigns, leading them back to camp>on the other end, my drow is trying to look his best for the meeting, setting up the bed, spritzing perfume, ect ect>hears footsteps outside>opens the flap of his tent and tries to look seductive>completely flubs it when he sees that his partner, who he fully expects is going to sex him promptly, has brought along TWO FUCKING HORSES>tells the wood elf he didn't know he was into that sort of thing>"Well I mean, I'm a wood elf, what did you expect?">drow is just sort of bluescreening and wondering how he should deal with this until he sees the saddle>wood elf is wondering what the heck is going on and then he notices the skimpy clothing, the perfume, the bed for two in the back of the tent>it clicks for both of them at roughly the same time>both start stammering out explanations/apologies>rest of the party (who was watching from a distance and encouraging wood elf) starts losing their shit >Eventually they end up splitting the date between their two planned activities.
>>54554250...This is adorable.also skimpily-dressed sexytimes drow, unf unf
>>54534762I agree, so long as the rogue wasn't doing it for the wank of it. The problem is, he insisted on having them complete the horse fucking. That screams 'fetish' to me, which lands it squarely in the magical realm. Then again, what fucking DM is so weak willed that they continue narrating when they didnt want to? What, did the rogue's player hold a knife to his throat and threaten to kill him if he didn't narrate a horse fucking a woman?
>>54554250>>drow says yes of course>>goes to the party sorceress awhile later and asks what the fuck is a date
>>54554380Thanks, I'm glad you like it. Here's the last story, sometime after the first two>party stops at the small town they all started at >wood elf goes to meet his fellow rangers he grew up with>eventually one of them asks if he met some pretty girl out in his adventures>he can't hide the fact that he met someone despite his best efforts, getting flustered>friends obviously want to know more>wood elf says he'll come back tomorrow and show them>comes back as promises, brings my character (concealed via a cloak and shaking in his boots, as there are other surface elves present)>wood elf knows that even though they're like family, some things are just a bit beyond the pale at first glance, and concocts a plan to soften the blow>grabs my drow and holds him close to his chest, and starts recounting their adventures together, saying that my character came from a bad place but is getting better, he's saved wood elf's life multiple times, basically telling the whole story without saying exactly what he is.>rangers listen with rapt attention, at the end are practically shouting for him to stop playing games and let them see who this special someone is.>drow lifts his hood>dead fucking silence>some of the other elves look utterly scandalized>eventually a grizzled human (the leader of the group) steps forward and looks my drow over>who is on the verge of collapse from anxiety, by the way. He's mostly being held up by the wood elf.>eventually the boss says that if my drow is good enough for the wood elf, its good enough for him>"also if you hurt my boy here I will hunt you down and skin you alive">the lodge ends up throwing a small party in the couple's honor and my drow rolls well enough that he makes a good impression on them.>party goes on into the night and the two of them leave on a high note.I know its not the most humorous or thrilling story but I thought it was a heartwarming moment.
>>54555160And that's all I can remember. Campaign went on hiatus awhile back and last we left off the two of them were still a happy couple adventuring out in the countryside. Hopefully we play again sometime, as I really enjoyed their adventures.
>>54555160>>54555183d'awwww. best end.
>>54555526Yeah it was actually pretty nervewracking too, since we had to roll to not ruin everything, it wasn't just a story event.The funniest part to me was that they didn't even care my drow was a guy, just that he was a dark elf. Like oh being gay was one thing, but gay with a drow? That's just too much.But yeah overall it was a really enjoyable campaign. Definitely had a lot of cute moments.
>>54555160Good story anon, thanks for sharing.
>>54555656no problem, thank you for compiling it all.
>>54550231i used one of these in a freeform once.then the character got derailed by a romance subplot and i didn't stop it in time so everything went kind of insane. then one of the other people in the group turned out to be a narcissist emotionally-manipulative jackass and sexually harassed other group members.it was pretty funny though cause she didn't have talons on her wings, so she'd have like one good final art and dozens upon dozens of half-finished drafts that were discarded every time her foot twitched. (at least until someone magic'd up a psionic cheese that just let intent shape everything)protip: if you make a harpy PC or NPC, figure out whether their knees bend forwards or backwards AHEAD OF TIME. otherwise, people will assume different things and when it finally becomes relevant, you'll have to stop the game for an hour while everyone tries to get their mental image figured out.protip 2: don't have the harpy try to fight a colossal stone golem. she'll get critted and battered out of the sky and break every hollow bone in her body.>>54555183god dammit why are your characters adorable
>>54535560>group needs to cause a political scandal in a neighboring city state, are in the city stealth mode to attempt to do this>decide to kidnap the princess and make it look like somebody else did it>"...wait, why don't we just rape her?">group agrees that this is simpler and lower risk, don't intend to do it themselves but hire a lowlife drunk to do it for them who is from the nation they're trying to frame>earlier in the shopping portion of the day jokingly offered magic viagra as an option, which they argued would beat out whiskey dick>fuck my entire life>and the princess apparentlyThat session did not end well. I was too green of a GM to handle the situation.
>>54521560I hear these stories about magical realms and shit and I just cannot wrap my mind around it. Like do a bunch of sweaty fat fucks just gather around a table and, entirely voluntarily, verbally masturbate each other? Do you guys actually jack off when DM starts his magical realm bullshit? This is just so fucking outlandish and weird that I cannot imagine this actually happening. And yet, there is a thread about this every single day. Unless all these stories are just made up nonsense, then this is not at all uncommon. What the actual fuck. Sort out your fucking lives.
>>54540866>>54525690Hi Dee! How you been?
>>54555851>god dammit why are your characters adorableI only played the drow but yeah it was funny how two of us in the party had the idea to play elf fuckboys. I'm certainly not gonna complain.
>>54556117it probably happens online most of the time. I honestly couldn't imagine this stuff happening over a tabletop, but then again I should not underestimate human weirdness.
>>54536213>>54539178>>54549881>>54553547>>54553873>>54554250>>54555160>>54555601>>54555656I'm juust gonna do another screencap at a more consistent size with the first
thread theme: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNHMNK6Kzvw
>>54524441>>Friendly tomboy warrior woman is also a lycanthrope
>>54534860>tried to back out of it>beaten up by pimp into fucking a horse>complacentokay
>>54554250>>Eventually they end up splitting the date between their two planned activities.So one went off riding while the other stayed behind for some horse-time?
>>54551263>non-autistic, successful loves>in DnD
>>54555183>Campaign went on hiatus awhile backhate it when that happens
>>54558973Can we get a screencap with the character descriptions too?
>someone compiled that mess of a faggot fanfic with the literary quality of a YA "novel"Disgusting
>>54561797>someone got this sexually conflicted over storytime he decided to shit up the thread with his analpain and try to disguise his real reasoning by saying "b-but it's the quality!"Disgusting
I was stuck in several campaigns where shit turned into something out of a harem anime complete with sessions dedicated to anime-eqse beach episodes, japanese spring episodes, etc.All the while the world was being threatened to be destroyed by a hydra that can eat mythic beings while backed up by the bad guys from Gravity Falls, FMA, Supernatural, and several other animes and cartoons.It took me 3 sessions of coordinating kingdoms together, shadow organizations, black mailing, assassinating, intimidating, back room dealing to delay the BBEG let alone stop him. I was playing a fucking fighter mind you and did not had mythic like the rest of my party due to DM not wanting me being since apparently I'm too powerful since I'm one of the few who uses their brains to get shit done.All the while the party was busy with a trap goat girl, a lion battle maid, several pirate wrenches, a tsundere hydra chick, and several other women.Oh, and several items and spells taken from erotic 3.5 books and horsecock futa maids.Then the DM switched the game night to a night I couldn't join and they're still doing more harem protag shit.Honestly, with the campaign was, I wished he just told me he was doing a harem anime campaign so I wouldn't have joined.
>>54556012If that wasn't an evil campaign it became one at that exact moment because that's pretty fucked
>>54561953Have you considered that you are a grown fucking adult and capable of leaving a campaign at any given moment. It's not like you signed a contract in blood that kept bringing you back.
>>54561608Oh oops forgot that. Arright.>>54536213And just linking to the first post for updated capping.
>>54562482Friendship, my man, friendship.
>>54555160Put me in the expanded screencap, elf nigga
>>54566726eh?Put what exactly in the screencap?
>>54566841I just want my post to be in the screencap. There's always one dickhead saying it in the old ones, and it might as well be me this time
Thankfully the only time I ran a magical realm was with my first GM.Unfortunately, my first GM had my cleric and his DMPC raped in an orgy of lady ghosts.>>54566866Make you own screen cap for fucks sake anon.
>>54566866That's dumb.Go sit in the dumb corner alone.>>54566918Was it at least cute ghosts or ugly decaying body like ghosts.
>>54566968Cute. The whole city was populated by ghosts, blessed by a god of immortality. He was pretty much a playboy, cool Hugh Hefner style geezer, which was a relief after the GM had all the other gods be dicks. The only problem was the fact his followers were promiscuous as he was, and somehow that even transferred to the city, or at least that was the GM's excuse to have my character masturbate in the streets.He also had a golem who was your traditional big black prison bear threaten to rape my cleric, till I pointed out a golem would be flat as a ken doll.I still can't tell if my GM was just doing rape humor, given he liked to mock how soft spoken my cleric was, said he was beta as fuck, but on the other hand, he was specifically targeting my cleric due to the other players and party members being females, and later did admit he was bi.
>DM regularly for work pals>game is weird and goofy >haven't had the guts to insert my kinks How do I do it? There's no way it's worth the risk, right?
>>54567232>kinks>meatspace gameNope. Just don't.Make an online something with randoms if you want to get your jollies.
>>54556117>a bunch of sweaty fat fucksStop projecting.>>54556229Erotic roleplay has been around FAR longer than the measly whippersnapper we call "the internet".
>>54567260> cue a european castle in the mid 1400> "Hey baby girl, you wanna do a kinky brother sister roleplay~"> "Verily, father."
>>54567519>hey do you wanna pretend were doing a DIFFERENT kind of incest?
>>54550698Yes there is too.
>>54526016>Eventually spits on her, and says he made that much in one random fightWell, she made that much with a single fuck, so here's that.
>>54535560I run a shadow run game and through happenstance I've slept with half my players and the other half are shameless perverts.I'm not even trying to hide fetishy stuff anymore, both my own and whatever else comes up.But then again we are talking about a system that has rules for cybernetic genitalia and tits in a main source book, so I HOPE that if I'd run a different game it wouldn't end up like this...
>>54567992>I've slept with half my playersPlayers or characters?
>>54568012Context says players, anon.
>>54568012Players.Was 3 out of 5 before drama happened and one player got booted.
>>54561856>sexually conflictedIs this one of those "if u hate gays den u secretly is gay" things? You queers are all so mentally ill.
>>54550611only if it is a trap catboy(female)
>>54564906Well done dude, you're doing the Emprah's work.
>>54568464>implying anyone who gets this buttbothered over a cute storytime and keeps going "hurr qweer fagets" isn't hiding somethingEmpty vessels make the loudest noise anon
>>54568464says the shortfuse shitposter attacking a mass-enjoyed series of posts in a chill thread?If anything sounds like you're the one with mental issues.
>>54568642>>54568656>n-n-no uI love when disgusting faggots resort to this. Admitting that there is no greater insult than accusing another of being like themselves.
>>54568607You are entitled to your opinion, anon.
>>54570227>disgusting faggots>implying we're the ones being insultingOh, just get it over with and kiss a man already, stop lying to yourself for once
The main antagonist forces of one campaign I ran were basically just vore-based meat tentacles.I have zero interest in vore and the 'eaten alive by tentacle monsters' stuff was intended as horror. It wasn't until I had to start describing the aftermath of monster attacks that I realized I might have sent the wrong impression.
>>54524779This asshole gets it. First step, play a Gnoll.
>>54522937Sounds like normal cat behavior, really.
>>54525690You can fly?
>>54535560I once had an npc who I described as small, mousy, and quiet to show the pcs where the showers at the prison camp/summer retreat were. Her entire purpose was to get the story moving. Didn't even have a name. Two sessions later she's practically married to one of the PCs. Apparently she initially fit some standards, and then as I rapidly fleshed out her character since the pc wouldn't leave her alone I just kept pushing more and more buttons until I had accidentally created my (female) player's perfect waifu.
>>54545010DO YOU SUCK DICKS
>>54564906>I didn't know you were into that fucking kek
>>54550910See you in three days, anon.
>>54551480>so I'm playing this game, right?>y'know, dice n' such>by the way, why - why dice? You know, why not - why not spinners? Or a deck of cards?>anyway do I'm playing this game>an' we meet this bird>nice girl, friendly, bit butch but y'know s'how it is when - when you swing a sword all day, innit?>I mean if blokes didn't - didn't ever...fight, we'd probably look like ladies>anyway this bird, nice girl, figurin' 'maybe she wants a shag?'>so keeping this in mind one night m'character is takin watch and bam>wolf>well, you know - not, not a regular wolf, innit? One o them werewolves>anyway do I'm thinking 'well that's a bit weird, innit?'>but y'know she still had - had human traits, right?>soon anyway my point is, is it bestiality if - if normally she's a, y'know, she?
>Party has had run ins with a murderous blood cult>Party gets hired by a wizard who has been trying to wipeout said cult>Wizard let's party stay at his tower while they're working for him>Tells them they are free to use his library, parts of his lab, or ask him directly about the cult>Wizard's tower is on an island with a beech>Party obsesses over having anime beach episodes. Even after one of them steps on a poisonous sea urchin and nearly dies >*hint hint* Get back in the tower >Subtly imply the cult is bigger than they thought and wizards is in over his head trying to wipe the out.>Having too much fun at the beach to notice>Eventualy the wizard gets mindfucked into joining the cult and chases the party off his island>Mfw party never investigated the cult at all and knows next to nothing about them because they at the beach all the time>Gonna have to figure out how to get the story back in motion
>>54571321let them have a few more sessions of beach fun and then narrate how the apocalypse happens and the world is effectively doomed>"DM what the fuck">"M8 there was literally a blood cult doing all sorts of shit and you sat there at the beach knowing full well what was going on"
>>54554250Oh I'm laffin
>>54571321Oh lol I know the type.Was in a big forum RP, hopping around worlds, solving apocalypse plots, etc etc.A portion of the players bitches about too much dramatic stuff, wants a relaxing episode.GMs are ok sure, lets have one in which there are no big shit going.It goes ok.Half the group gets back to world-saving, while the half that asked for downtime proceeds to extend the relaxing by RPing in-detail a sleepover watching monthy python.Then they bitch they missed out on doing cool shit.
>>54521560My foreverdm for years is asexual and has almost 0 sex drive so I don't have to worry about that shit.
>>54571305I laughed harder than I had a right to.
>>54571682>only letting eunuchs GMThis sounds like a surprisingly good idea.
>>54570631No, just good at jumping though.
>>54524441Shrek inspired?>>54544618It'd still be a lot of coincidences.
>>54571554I see this happen too, except minus the bitching about missing out on cool shit part, because they really did have more fun making dollies kiss than doing dramatic things.
>>54572438To be honest I'm a little bit baffled that this is a thing. I mean I get that there are people who want chill RPs, but why did they sign up for high adventure stuff instead of making a chilled out light hearted game in the first place?
>>54571321>>54571338Kinda feel like this same kind of situation is why Nina got chimera-d.>If you had focused on researching the main plot you would have solved his research notes, found out what he did last time and what he'd have to do to keep his funding, stopped him and handed him over to the police saving his innocent, adorable daughter from a grizzly fate.>Instead you spent all your evenings playing with her and the dog.>This is not how I planned this to go at all, but no "moe-loli imouto-chan to idolize and eagerly greet you when you're coming back from adventures" reward for those who are too busy goofing off to actually save her. You ate desert first. I'm happy I got to play a neat villain and made a hard-hitting, gut-wrenching unforgettable moment out of this that we'll talk about for years to come, but truth be told I'm just as heartbroken about this as you are.
>>54571682do they have nonsexual fetishes they insert then? Just those, like, weird obsessions ace people tend to get? Birds, for instance? I know several with that one. Nikolai Tesla had it too.
>>54572438I had one campaign I intended to use to test a system out just sort of die to that. Like, no plot hooks bitten, they just wanted to sit around and goof of pretending to be these characters.It was still fun, sure, but kind of frustrating in its own right.
>>54571305>nice girl, friendly, bit butch but y'know s'how it is when - when you swing a sword all day, innit?>I mean if blokes didn't - didn't ever...fight, we'd probably look like ladiesGod damnit.
>>54572751From what I usually see?Good writers seem to never actually want to GM "mess around socializing with NPC games".
>>54562743>not signing a contract in blood when you roll your statsFag.
>>54521560There's a guy in my group who is constantly trying to ERP with me. One of the issues is that he's a guy and I'm a straight male. Another problem is that he's 60. A third problem is that he has hygiene issues and I am very, very clean. Fourth, even if I did want to ERP with him I don't want to do that shit in public, or in front of my friends. Especially not both. Fifth, and finally, I don't want to ERP at all, not even if you were a supermodel.
>>54572751>instead of making a chilled out light hearted game in the first place?The gang I told about also constantly tried to make those.The died within weeks. Every single one.So they just joined a big game run by other people, in a similar way how a metastasising cancer joins organs other than where it started at.
>>54535560>turns one of the PCs into stone
>>54549881/tg/ is the kind of place that gives you feels and massive throbbing erections
>>54570484So wait - you're telling me if I finally work up the courage to play the type of character that I'm worried will get me shunned from any game table, there's a random chance I might get some girl wanting him to bury his bone in her?I don't know whether I should be elated at the idea of having the potential of a positive human relationship, or horrified that I'll never be able to play a gnoll without it being seen as sexual by somebody.
>>54576882Neither - be depressed that any relationship founded on this is going to be somewhat less than positive.
>>54577246Well yeah, hopefully a relationship will be formed on a mutual bond of caring and perhaps similar or compatible personalities. But surely if you're boring each other in the bedroom, unable to help each other with your kinks, that's bad as well?
>>54524668>character she uses for her art about getting rawed by werewolves and monster boys.sounds like pretty standard nerd girl fetish stuff
>>54524779>Then you get the hand-holding0 to 100 in a flash
>>54521560A player of mine is in another group at a LGS, one bringing new players into the craft. They are running 5th edition starter campaign, he's there as old hand to help the new players settle in. One rolled a human female prostitute. He is always making a point of trying to seek out men in the bar and sleep with them, and gets visibly angry when everyone asks him to stop. He insists he is playing his character, 'as he was encouraged to do'. Pretty sure those other players won't be back at the end of all this, hey.
>>54576882Okay, step one of how not to be a magical realm gnoll.No fucking pseudopenis.Even IF you HAVE to make a female gnoll, and somebody makes that joke - immediately reply "not that kind of a hyena, champ"
>>54541871>>54541700>>54539695>>54539178>>54536433>>54524441>>54522937How the fuck do people like this even exist and how do they manage to get together a group to play?>mfw me and all my friends are well adjusted and furry dragonkin shit never crosses our mindIs it because you're virgins that you need to RP sex?
>>54581302This. With the modern internet at your fingertips, if you want to be a catboy and get railed by a wolf, do that somewhere where that's the express purpose of it. IRL? Roll a Barbarian. Hack apart enemies. Be worthy of song. The normal, not-sexual shit. How is there that lack of distinction?
>>54581302Some people know better than to have stupid hangups about sex.>virginsLike clockwork.
>>54581359>Wizard defense imageNo anon, you're just a degenerate. Please keep your fetishes off my table. No one wants to hear them, and the DM doesn't want to narrate it.
>>54581249Well I wasn't going to do THAT. It's not like fantasy races that are loosely based off animals have to be one-to-one like them physically. Even if I was enamored by the idea, it's too much trouble.
>>54581302Hey, dickgirl here, and this isn't anything that any of my group did on purpose. We were just doing a campain where the party are werewolves, and due to some choices and events we just happened to find ourselves at this point.Does it help that so far I've only used my hyrbid form to talk to a group of gnolls?
>>54581425Question. Are your party aware that pseudopenis is even a thing? Like, at all? If not, ignore and proceed. Problem solved.
>>54581409>Please keep your fetishes off my tableGladly. I play with fun people.
>>54581509>Pedo image>Fun people
>>54581493As far as I'm aware I'm the only one who knows. We don't bring up sex at the table (in character at least), so I never mentioned it to avoid any weirdness. It's just so funny to me that myself and my GM accidentally made such a magical realm character.>>54581509
>>54581715Well, as far as I'm concerned? If you never bring it up, she's not a Magical Realm character, mate.
>>54581782Is it truly a magical realm if no one at the table wants to rule it?
>>54581805No, it's an unspoken thought. So a normal session as far as I'm aware.
>>54581805If a tree falls in a forest with no one to hear it, does it make a sound?
It wasn't ERP or anything but I was pretty horrific.Was playing with my brother a while ago running curse of Strahd, we had set up camp for the night I think when he rolled an encounter. The first turn the evil druid used thunderwave and TPK'd us. The first spell, from the first enemy, in a random encounter killed our entire group. I know it wasn't his fault for the rolls but it wasn't a good way to start out. We didn't even make it to Barovia
I actively try and avoid it. Another player's character actively flirted with mine as a joke. My half-Elf turned her down. 'You are pretty, but you remind me too much of my mother.'
>>54582301Dm should fudged it
>>54582301Are you sure it wasn't ERP? Cause you DID get raped
>>54582844Agreed. That's why we have a DM screen: to fudge rolls.
>>54582866Who the fuck still uses a GM screen in this day and age?
>>54584392People who don't play online. Why do you think people keep selling them?
>Get invited to a new group>Make a female dragonborn cleric that looks like pic related, minus wings>Discover too late that GM has a fetish for dragon ladies>Constantly hit by fire breath that the GM gleefully describes as 'burning my robes off'>One point he talks about how my robes have burnt off, before I point out I'm already naked because he did that about an hour ago>House rules I have boobs after a player asks and I say I don't because dragonborn are female>I say that I'm a AAA cup then>He overrules and says I have DD boobs>mfwI'm probably going to end up arguing with him over dragonborn vaginas at some point.
>>54584610>*dragonborn are reptiles. I'm an idiot who can't type.
>>54584392those who don't use their laptop as a notes folder/dice roller/sound mood setter combo.
>>54584610That is one annoying bastardI know, I have a fetish for dragon ladies, but I ask players about there appearance first - we concluded that dragonborn can have tits, but only if there non dragon heritage has them - luckily all dragonborn women I used as NPC's are lizardfolk dragonborn, so no dragon boobs.Now problem become that one of the players wanted to seduce leader of a kobold tribe...I gonna need to invite them into more games...
>>54525362>Girl walks in on guy masturbating"AAAHHH!! YOU PERVERT!!">Guy walks in on girl masturbating"AAAHHH!! YOU PERVERT!!"
>>54584967>they're both masturbating as they walk in on each other
>>54584986Regardless of your interpretation it still works
>>54584610>House rules I have boobs after a player asks and I say I don't because dragonborn are femaleGreat, first the elves, and now this.
>>54584610I've dealt with that more than once. Turned the tables on him when I declared his catfolk to have the full set of kitty-tits
>>54584919You'd be surprised what a little music can add to an already intense boss fight.>>54584950Dragonborn aren't halfdragons. Their heritage is "dragonborn." It's a race.
>>54585071>catfolk to have the full set of kitty-titsI would fully expect them to have the 8 nipples, but I also would expect them to only engorge when lactating, unlike humans who are basically the only animal to have permanently engorged breasts, as a form of mating display.
>>54585120Go full scarlet and apply it to catgirls as well
>>54585212Guess I'm becoming jaded, not only the tags did not discourage me, the contend did not make me lose my appetite for upcoming lunch.
>>54585212are those like, arm garters?
>>54585087Yes, but half-dragons are sterile, and in my game made with magical rituals.Dragonborns are the halfbreed dragon and other race hybrids in my game.Also that makes more sense when you look at there lifespan
>>54585450However that doesn't mean that they can not be children of other dragonborns, just that they started that way...
>>54567992Don't the cybertits also have the capacity to install cybergenitalia?
>>54585212C-can I get a sauce on that?
>>54524668If this isn't a fiction, this poster would be wise not to out his player to fucking 4chan of all places. I think we all know what kind of putrid shiteaters call this board home, and how they like to punish women for being present in their precious hobby and internet.Good players are hard to find, and a fetishhound who never brings their fapfuel to the game table uninvited is bro tier.
>>54571321Sounds like your players would rather play CATastrophe or something.Not a bad thing mind you, more like a matter of different expectations.But yeah obviously they shouldn't join your table if your premise is high fantasy action.>>54582301I mean, that's probably someone's fetish...
>>54521560I've had a bad case of being a GM and having players inadvertently wandering into my magical realm on their own.>Have massive transformation fetish, especially based around themes of domination and humiliation>Players are escorting a female NPC around who was framed for a crime and is wanted in virtually every city they go to>They get tired of disguising or hiding her everytime they want to enter town, so they suggest just polymorphing her>Not wanting to enter my own magical realm, I have the NPC struggle against this idea. Unfortunately I realise a second too late that making her struggle just makes my dick harder>The party (innocently) find this funny and tease her by treating her as a pet and normal animal whenever she's transformedI really have to end this quest soon before my dick bursts at the gaming table.
>>54586804what did they polymorph her into?
>>54540186maybe he was into gantz
>>54586822They've turned her into everything that it's become a running gag that they tease her whenever they approach a town by openly discussing what they'll turn her into next.>First time: Turn her into a raven so she can fly around and scout for them. >Second time: Turned her into a horse and had her pull their caravan into town. They temporarily rented her out to a farmer for farmwork to get on his goodside>Third time: Turned her into a dog when I offhandedly mentioned an important NPC in that city tended to go hunting with his hounds. They tried to join in one one of his hunts with her as their bloodhound. I made her run away sulking until the spell wore off (and to try and end my boner)>Fourth time: They turned her into a fish and put her in a bowl "so that she couldn't run away like last time."I swear to fucking God, it's like they know I have this fetish and are just trying to blueball me.
>>54544157>taking a screenshot of repliesHow about you fuck off.
>>54524736if he posted a link someone could track them and ruin their game dumbo
>>54550814I think you mean FFXI, which did it first.C'mon, fellow cat lover, give credit where it is due
>>54587071Well, if it's not a wanted boner, you could have the spell start working less and less the more they use it, the reasoning being that her physiology is getting used to handling the spell, effectively lessening it's impact.
>>54567658>her: hey bro, maybe I can be your girlfriend tonight?>him: BAAAAAAAAH!>her: that's a good Billy
>>54568464You sound like you need a nice hard cock in your mouth. I know that would shut you up
>>54585901Yes.We actually tried to do the math. We might be off a bit, but the character with the most dicks we could create has 72 (+1 original) dicks. Ball of cock man....
>>54591803>+1 originalnah, you gotta start as girl to be a 72uple futa.
>>54550826>A small horse>ConfusedBenWyatt.gif
>>54589785It did it first, but as functionally monogender race.
>>54521560A player in a session that one of my friends is running for the summer (apparently a regular of his semester session for some strange reason) was hyper insistent that she wanted yuan-ti to not just exist in his established homebrew setting but have a full nation. She wrote it herself>Insists she spent hours and hours working on the LORE of shitty fucking snake hitlers >Reveals that she only has 6 pages of a googledoc of stuff actually typed out even after all this effort>As far as anyone can tell it's almost identical to the fluff describe in Serpent Kingdoms, only less well thought out>Verbatim uses the word 'eugenics' so she can't even pretend that they're good>Still insists that it's a race full of good people even though they're racially Usually Lawful Evil even in her shit homebrew and still do all the genetic purity shit of normal Yuan-ti>Proceeds to interrupt another player's exposition to tell us about how they exist because the 'Snake God' told his human followers to fuck snakes>The capital of the Yuan-ti nation is "Ssnek"god i hate her
>>54594675I imagine the only reason why she hasn't been removed is because "no players" or some shit? because that sounds like cancer.
>>54594920That's the thing, the GM loves her! Not literally loves her he has a lady but like, as a player he thinks she's great I don't fucking understand it. Add in the fact that in an ECL 9 game she somehow managed to bitch and moan her way into 7 class levels and 4 racial hd for ECL 11 and it just gets even fucking worse
>>54572988I dunno man, bad things happened when we pressed on and did the research too.
>>54594521for players, technically, but in the lore there were male mithra, just not many of them (1 or 2 npcs iirc)Been a while, and I'm just nitpicking now. Let us thank FF in general