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What are the best servants for an Almighty wizard?
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Orc slaves
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Birds
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Mexicans
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>>56188055

Scantily clad ones.
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>>56188079
Weak shit

>>56188055
Golems
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>>56188055
Sabers and Archers.
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Other Almighty wizards that are all competing to be his favourite.
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You're all fags, the correct answer is almighty witches
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Elf for their high affinity to magic. They come in many varieties so you can have a living ward for every situation.
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>>56188055
wonder how long it’s going to take homunculus anon to show
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>>56188154
>>56188196
>How to get backstabbed 101
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>>56188290
>Keep almighty wizards and witches as your servants
>Of course they would vie for power and back-stab you
>Don't reveal to any of them that you have enchanted yourself so you body swap with anyone who tries to backstab you
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>>56188330
>stab you in the front in a antimagic field
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>>56188055
>Almighty
How about all of them?
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>>56188454
>implying wizards can stab you with any sort of efficiency

If he's lucky, he might clip you in the arm and then you just run away.
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>>56188290
>being this shit at Almighty wizardry
You fear us because we are greater than you. :)))
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>>56188454
>not bathing in potions of adamantium skin.
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Three types.
1. yes, beautiful women or men as appropriate to the wizard's tastes. A little hedonism keeps the depression at bay.
2. Metal or stone automata, intricately designed, to be more practical servants and hard labor. Also bouncers.
3. invisible agents to serve with mystic grace, giving the appearance of, say, self-cooking food and self-pouring wine.
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>>56188571
>or men
Almighty and yet you choose to be a faggot
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>>56188616
He could be making allowances for Wizard Girls or wizards that became the girl.
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>>56188616
Got a problem with a little butt sex annon? You sound pretty gay
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>>56188634
>wizards that become the girl

So... gay then?
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>>56188454
>Letting antimagic fields anywhere close to your inner sanctum
You should have security systems in place so if even the hint of anti-magic is detected someone gets disintegrated
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>>56188616
>Being an almighty wizard and letting shit like gender get in the way of sex
Nigga, if you're a powerful enough wizard you could switch genders on the fly. Also it's not gay if the men are cute.
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>>56188571
>Wizard
>Has sex
You should know by now that the only way to become a wizard is to be a virgin at 40. And to become an almighty wizard, you need to make it to 100, and at that point, well, nothing works anyways.
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>>56188520
What the fuck are you even talking about?
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>>56188697
If he is the girl he is no longer the boy so he is not the gay.
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>>56188330
>Keep almighty wizards and witches as your servants
>Have a lifelong perscription of Kill-Me-Come-Back-Stronger pills
>Laugh off each assassination attempt as they just make you an even bigger role model to them
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>>56188797
still has the same soul right?

no amount of polymorphing can change that.

If they actually get ascended enough to change that, then ok.
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>>56188824
souls can be put in anything, anon.
That hot babe you're fuckin' was a fat dude in a previous life.
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>>56188844
Nope, assuming we are talking about d&d; I’m pretty sure only druids reincarnate.
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Hot faerie lady.
Swarthy elf.
Ex killbot.
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>>56188863
>not fucking QT satyr regardless of past
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>>56188880
I wish more games would let me be ex killbot.
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>>56188945
No need to go that far.

But if you have memory of being a dude, and aren’t currently a god I’m outta there.
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>>56188977
You're missing out bro.
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>>56189007
It’s truly a matter of principle.

With an infinite time to experiment I can get an equal looking girl to hand around with.
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>>56189034
That's not NEARLY as kinky.
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>>56189007
You would never fuck yourself. Why even go martial?
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>>56189106
I think the guy who you are responding to WOULD fuck himself.
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>>56189117
>>56189106
>>56189007
That's a really good wizard servant group.
Like five or six genderbent clones of yourself with various body types.
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>>56189007
>not posting source
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>>56189254
tea of the sagittarius herb. It has almost no porn in it!
https://e-hentai.org/g/444513/c2a9f0a234/
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>>56188104
>Tempting yourself into losing your powers
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>>56189166
It not sex, but musterbation. You keep your virginity no matter what.
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>>56189429
even better for wizarding!
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>>56188055
BEHOLD THE WIIIIIIIZZZZZZZZAAAAAARRDD

BEWARE HIS POWER

UNSPEAKABLE POOOOOOOWWWWWWWEEEEEERRRR
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>>56188454
>having an antimagic field
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>>56188454
>How do I stop an antimagic field?
>Magic
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>>56188055
Constructs.
Golems, homunculi, Artificial humans, or just straight up bots.

Always build in a geas into their coding though.
>Sexy combot
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>>56188086
Birds
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>>56188055
What the fuck is that real?
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>>56188055
A bunch of orphaned children who drive him to drink.
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>>56194343
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xi_hcwB8i64
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>>56188055
Elemental myrmidons
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>>56194494
Holy shit is this what a level 20 wizard looks like?
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>>56194621
Looks like literally me.
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>>56188055
The undead
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>>56188055
Fleshlights.
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>>56189274
My friend, so long as it's done well that is the BEST KIND of porn.
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>>56188697
>hating on cagliostro
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>>56188863
Druids cast the spell (except in OD&D where Magic-Users do), anyone who pays off a Druid gets to do it.
>>56188977
And the spell retains your memory.
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>>56195747
no, I mean there's not even any penetration.
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>>56189356
>not demonstrating your resolve by surrounding yourself with loyal turbosluts
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>>56188086
What a stupid hairstyle.
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>>56194494
I wish someone at WB would make this into an actual series already.
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>>56197461
Can you imagine the look on the writers faces when they got the song into the episode.?
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>>56197461
>daffy the wizard

Man I didn’t do enough good in a past life to cause that to happen.
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Does masturbating make you lose your powers?

Is it okay to summon tentacle beasts on your servants?
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>>56194494

Fuuuuuuck
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>>56200749
Do you want to risk it?
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If Daffy is the wizard, who are the clerci, the fighter and the thief?

Bugs is clearly the bard
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>>56205699
Foghorn Leghorn is the Fighter.
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>>56205699
Pepe le pew is the bard you fuckwit
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>>56194494
>How long was I asleep?
>Three days. You have a bed, you know.
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>>56188055

Goblins, obviously.
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>>56188055

custom-commissioned fembot warforged obviously
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>>56205699
I can see Bugs as being a thief, actually.
>Excellent at disguise
>Great at escapes
>Very, VERY rarely falls prey to traps
I'd argue that while Bugs is the most popular, he consistantly wins less with charm and more through trickery and guile.
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>>56206944
>she doesn't really look like goblin
>looks up the filename
oh my
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>>56208291
>look up
wha? It's right there.
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>>56188055

Wizard pupils
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>>56188055
Giantesses.

Can serve as large-scale maids for when you need to dust the mountain in your backyard, as adequate mounts, and as a living, breathing proof that your dick may be tiny, but your girls aren't.
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>>56188055
Unseen servant.
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>>56206944
>>56208291

Fetish Status: Unlocked
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>>56208678
He googled it, anon.
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>>56188055
Demons, Devils, Constructs, Undead, whatever powerful creature he can get to serve him basically.
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>>56188055

Is that fucking daffy duck?
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>>56188055
Lewd oppai lolis
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>>56197425
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>>56188055
Gender bent clones
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>>56213840
I'm not gonna go all "prepare to have your life changed" or some stupid shit but watch this
>>56194494
>>
>>56206944
>>56208291
>>56208678
i'm confused what are we talking about, the source? cant find it
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>>56214729

There's no source, just read the filename and put two and two together.
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>>56214802
but there's no 2+2 to put together.
It's just 2.
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>>56194494
>those elf slaves
Th-this is a kids’ show, right?
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>>56207087
>that one session where Bugs brings his jock friend along for a one-shot that turns into multiple sessions
C’mon Mike this character is literally you
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Talking about wizards?
I was thinking, remember ignus(PST)?
They made him a conduit of the fire plane, now lets say a powerful necromancer wants to be really powerful, what would happen if he made himself a conduit to the negative plane?
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>>56216067
Sentient Unelemental

Which is pretty spooky.
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>>56216003
so is Wakfu
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>>56188055
Meidos
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>>56188880
My nigga.
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>>56194494
This music unironically gives me chills.
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>>56194494
>Heavy Metal Score
>Classic Arcane Badass
>Goofy as fuck story line
>Sexy McGuffin
>Sexy Servants and mystical powers
>"IT WAS ALL A DREAM!"
>Or was it?!?!
>Taco Bell

This is still probably the best and most accurate game of D&D ever written.
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>>56188055
PCs
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>>56215978

Wat? That's it, the filename is the entire joke.
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>>56217021
yeah.
So there's just 2.
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>>56217028

Well yeah, but there's no source material to look up. There's no other joke involved, the filename is it.
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>>56217142
hence back to the original question.
>look up
wha? It's right there.
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>>56217158

Oh, I meant to just look at the filename, I'm sorry for being unclear.
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>>56188055
Elf Servant Girls just like OPs pick. Not Slaves, servants. Unless you wanna get dicked over it's always best they want to be there. Elves are naturally predisposed to magic, are very aesthetically pleasing, and live for very long periods of time but don't show age, meaning you don't have to go looking for new hotties every decade cause the old ones got wrinkly.

The benefits of being your servant are plenty. Access to interesting magical artifacts, the opportunity to became a bone fide apprentice, easy to take weekends off since you got magic portals to their hometowns, you're a wizard whose probably lost all sense of earthly economics so your probably overpay with ancient coins worth far more than their value in days of old. Really it's a sweet gig and all the girls have to be to get it are pretty and hard working.
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>>56188055

Golems are ideal, stone golems for general construction purposes, iron/steel golems for defense/offense of the wizard's tower, and mithril/adamantine golems for personal protection. Any task requiring intelligence can be coerced out of nearby mortals in exchange for magical favors/material wealth, and if the wizard's "baser needs" should arise, self-casted illusions or summoned and bound succubi should prove more than satisfactory.
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>>56188153
Or a Lancer that isn't from the fucking Fenian cycle, at the very least.
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>>56189356
It's like training in weighted clothing
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>>56217642
dang, that one in the middle is super hot.
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>>56189274
At least it's self-aware about that fact, apparently. I found this at the end.

Funnily enough it actually has my vanilla-as-Hell fetish in it, which is women wearing pants but not any shirt or bra. Something about it just turns me on.
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>>56219359
it's hot, yeah, but not ENOUGH
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>>56188055
AI
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>>56188055
The Barbarian!
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>>56207087

This.
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You biologically engineer a servant race of underlings. They are instinctually drawn to serve you and see you as a divine being, and have the physical traits of servants, like not taking up much space or breeding rapidly.

Then long after you're dead, they'll still be following your orders and view your distant memories as actual religious myth.

This is where Kobolds and Goblins and shit come from.
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>>56194494

What the fuck did I just witness, and where can I find more of it!?!?
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>>56194494
I wanna know why looneytoons can write a song that is a better fantasy story than Hollywood.
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>>56224182
Because it was Candlemass that wrote the song?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-3uvf0cn0jo
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>>56188055

Mindless undead are the best, in terms of availability and general ability.
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>>56188055
By 3.5, you've a lot to work with- Alchemical Undead to populate your sewers due to waste from experiments being sent down, the possibility of the Dungeon Master PrC, Acidborn monsters, Dungeonbred Monsters, and other such things.

If we're talking Inner circle sort of servants, you want an Evil Good or Neutral Outsider for Esoteric Knowledge/Intellgence network on matters of the planes, as well as your affairs there, namely in areas of trade, Apprentices, at least one double or clone, a Rogue/Spy/Assassin for matters of local concern/specialist item recovery, a dedicated familiar/pet a harem, or at least companion/mistress who as some ability and input, usually a Nymph Elf, or some kind of Fey, Nymphs being important for knowing shitloads of things that quite frankly, you'd never expect of them, Lichdom for one, they're actually one of the most important sources an Archlich to be could want And of course, your fucking broken as fuck Guard Golem, and some sort of martial/magical person who's frequency in ability, skill and power only comes about once every century or 1000 years, but is the staple of your motivational outer workings who relies on your support as a mentor and a friend.

Then the mandatory Dwarf, can't be a wizard without knowing at least one, you might have some familiarity with Elves, but for the most part it isn't manadatory that you have an overly strong relationship with them, or an individual of the species.

Then there's the 'rare collector's item' servant, someone who is near extinct/worth their weight in gold if placed in slave trade, that kind of individual.

You may also have an imprisoned ancient evil you go to banter with- if you so wish it.
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>>56228235
Lastly, a Butler and maid trope, can't be wasting gold on cantrips autocast items for keeping things clean, making sure said person is a capable resourceful individual also helps, but basically anyone like Elminster's crossbow caretaker, then that's okay too- and it's important you have such a fellow because someone has to see to guests and magical item organization and cataloging.

Another final thing is to have the 'Room of questionable moral intent.' You know, the one room that seems completely out of place in contrast to others, and it's supposed to be unnerving/disturbing as fuck because it's there for when you need to be scary or at least hint the potential of insanity to people you want to be wary of you or a falsely assumed 'true nature'/reminder your an ammoral spellcaster or something of that niche.

It's best you put something like a high quality Undead in here or something to scare off intruders.
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>>56188504
To be fair, while wizards aren’t particularly good stabbers, wizards are also fairly easy to stab, so the ineptitude cancels out
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>>56188880
fuck that's old
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>>56188738
>at 40
What? I thought it was 30? Shit. I thought I'd be done in about five years.

>>56216236
Yeah. But it's french. So it doesn't really count.
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>>56188055
Imagine pushing that brown choccolate elf against the wall with your dick until she opens up and you just go balls deep down her throat and push her against the wall until you burst
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one familiar
a few unseen servants
a few elf meidos
a few golems made of random magic substances
both a succubus and angel summon that have to work closely together ala
>>56188617
maybe a fey loli summon
a 1000 y/o dragon loli
homonculi if they have souls in the setting
race of magically bio engineered servants living in your demi-plane's vast wilderness.
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>>56216211
I’m reminded of Blue Dragon, where you had chests that said “this chest is empty” and “this chest contains Nothing”
Nothing was an upgrade material for your weaponized shadow
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>>56228802
With her hips, I’d take the blonde
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>>56188055
daffy is /ourguy/
>>
Hot anime babes. Of all kinds. Monsters, homunculi, elves, clones, androids, demons, angels, as long as they're cute, just get them in there.
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>>56218969
Careful, you might wind up with Elisabeth fucking Bathory. Because I guess being a pyschopath who has teenaged girls murdered for your bath makes you a sufficient hero. Who is somehow skilled with a spear, I guess. And a pop idol because japan.
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>>56232628
>being a pyschopath who has teenaged girls murdered for your bath makes you a sufficient hero
Within the rules of Fate, a hero pretty much means somebody who's just plain famous. Goodness is not a requirement, e.g. Gilles de Rais, Gilgamesh

The idol thing is partly meant to reflect her early narcissism. Not sure where the lancer thing comes from though.
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>>56232628
>Think Batory actually did that
You're as bad as Universal/Hammer horror Dracula Fans

She was a noble who was taught to perform torture's on her servants by her two husbands who were both hardcore Dracula Wannabe's that died in fighting off Kebab and EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME this happened, they fucking left her alone in a state of perpertual horniness and blue-balls that fucking Destroyed her fucking sanity, like, seriously, her two husbands were fucking balls to the walll PERFECT for her, and the fucking Dunecoons ruined it twice, She had two kids from I think the second one, but it doesn't change the fact that these men barely gave her the D, and even when they did, they did fucking wreck her shit so hard it looked like she got a new chromosome fucked into her-

I should also note that because of this limitless sexual frustration, Nativity and utter airheaded lack of common sense this sheltered girl had (Literally never left the castle save for this one mansion to do politics) she escalated her tortures of servants, leaving her with a Mega-Proto feminist and Freaky hunchback who cancerously fed on this behaviour she showed, corrupting her because of their own insecurities as low-born ugly human garbage.

She never ever bathed in blood, that was a fabrication to make her crimes look worse than they actually were, because of this one time she struck a handmaiden and drew blood from her.

I should also note her goddanmed "Literally on par with Albedo/that Manga about the Non-lewd Japan dystopian future" sexual frustration hit so hard we hit table-masturbation supressed bisexuality levels.

All of the dead girls could have been saved if someone just Fucked her- I shit you not.




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