What's the worst thing a player at your table has ever done?
>>81715911Done at the table, or in general?
>>81715911fuck outta here fagbeardia
>>81715911Funnily enough I also encountered a player like that>male, 24 white with slight tan>would only play a sorcerer and always specified had big dick and banged girls day and night>typically was an elf fighter because he liked to play ‘quirky’ characters>only brought food on nights his gf was playingAll in all he wasn’t THAT bad, more annoying with his constant play of the shr8ing game and the game to play it and orange and play though I’ve had much worse over the years and at least he smelt nice and didn’t actively snort crack halfway into a session.
>>81715911A player character shot another pc with a crossbow while he was bleeding out. It was retribution for not sharing gold equally or something. The guy who's character got shot had been chafed by crossbow guy for a while now, so he jumped out of his seat and threw a haymaker at crossbow guy. Was totally out of nowhere.
Player here. I basically sodomized an evil priestess with a sword and killed her. GM didn't like that I shoved the sword up her ass to kill her even though I didn't go into the intricate details. It was more "i kill her by shoving the sword up her ass as I come up the stairs"
>>81715951Could you try again, but in english?
>>81715951do you smell toast burning?
>>81715951Is this one of those AI-generated posts?
>>81715911Strictly at the table or including mid-game bathroom breaks?
One guy burped and it reeked of old cum, it was so fucking disgusting
>>81716211I wanna hear this bathroom break story
>>81716259How do you know what old cum smells like, anon?
>>81716272As a man, you know the smell of old crusty cum from your paper bin.
I had a friend once who told everyone else at the table of a very embarrassing event which happened to me as a child which I told him once while drunk and he swore to keep a secret.
>>81715951fake and gay
>>81716351Just bust into a toilet. Easy clean up and no lingering smell.
>>81716447and hunch up like im riding a kawasaki?hard passi have to piss in the shower when i wake up, no way im gonna manage that
>>81715911A guy from a boy scouts game I was DMing who insisted on playing a girl, then proceeds to try and seduce an 8 year old girl DMPC. I should've kicked him out right then and there. No one needed to sit back and listen to his child grooming fantasies. Fittingly, he trooned out a couple years after the incident.
>>81716447I'm sorry, do you think I can go back in time or something and change what happened? stupid fuck.
>>81716608Thats hysterical, you think youre worth more thought than a knee-jerk reaction.
>>81716672and then an angry followup postlisten man, you're the dude handing out JO instructions in a cringe threadcenter stage bro, center stage
>>81716261Suicide attempt. Failed but made lot of mess. For whatever reason the guy could not do it at home or go in the woods but had to ruin GM's bathroom.
>>81716594>an 8 year old girl DMPCyou're part of the problem
>>81716749Because probably he don't really wanted to die.
>>81716714You talk as if i actually give a shit. Its quite sad.
>Have contract work in a small American town.>Need to stay there for almost a year with nothing to do all day.>Don't know anyone and a bit of an autist.>Decide to post about hosting a DND game at the local community center to make frens.>Some people apply and seem eager to play having never played DND in person.>Guy from my company. 30 playing a wizard>local women who kept to herself and was quiet, mid 30s. played a druid>Local teenager, 18 years old and part of the local christian community. played a paladin and seemed to enjoy the "Lol religious guy" memes but was genuinely a nice guy.>Elderly women, like 50-60 who knew a lot about dnd. played a rogue >Elderly man around the same age who also seemed to know a lot about dnd. played a warlock.>Game starts off well, party gets into some fights and are romping around the silverymoon forrest trying to deal with a dragon cult.>Slowly the rogue and warlock start bickering over how to deal with encounters with the warlock claming that rogue was forcing herself into all the RP.>She starts saying that he was just terrible at the game and that no one else was upset about it.>Try chatting with them both after the games with both agreeing that they might have been a little disruptive and they would try to sort things out.>Over the next few weeks It seems that I just spend the session babysitting the pair of them as anything one of them does upsets the other.>Looking back on it I was being a bit of a beta and letting them carry on when I should have put my foot down.>But both were over double my age, that is my excuse.>Eventually druid says she is stressed out by the game and wants to drop out, says she liked the story and my DMing but was done.>Liked her as a player but I understand.>Pally invites me out to a coffie house with his pastor and the pair of them start chatting to me about conflict resolution and how to deal with people.>Pastour lets slip that the Warlock and Rogue devorced a few years ago.1/2
>>81716796go gum up the bowl lil manyou care enough to spill julay
I was playing a lustful viking in a party of evil fuckers. Character wanted to bang this one warrior chick, she wasn't interested.Decided that if I fucked her hag sister real good lady warrior would want some of this awesome D.Banged the sister (Not an actual hag just ugly like one) one night while camping on the road, made sure the last warrior saw us. Bitch still didnt Fuck my character.The hag sister and warrior lady were PCs.They were also a married couple IRL.I fucked the dudes character.His wife was very weirded out.8/10, would do it again.
>>81716817>I loose my mind and confront them.>Both claim that it was utterly irrelivent and they are not behaving that way because of the divorce.>I asked them why they both joined a game together if they did not like each other.>Both refuse to answer.>stop running the game outright.>Stop playing dnd for the next three years.Yeah having the pair of them work out divorce frustrations at my table was unreal. Still mad about it.
>>81716781Could have done it at home then, he lived with parents.
>>81716829Dont you have a crusty sock to chew on? You should do that instead of writing subpar insults.
>>81716974approaching my kneecaps with stilted attempts at disengaged highhandedness while you're red in the face is comedy gold>uhh-uhhhhh crunchy sock GOTTEMcome on bowl boy, i thought you didn't careyou seem big mad about that small todger
>>81717012>>81716974you both seem incredibly asspained and the longer you go on the more humiliated you should feel.
>>81716772he IS the problem.>>81715911Had autism about how the maps worked in setting (everybody lived on magical mysko island with some strange shit in the middle, only working compasses pointed straight at the middle of the island) with the center of island being in the middle of the map. Held up the game for over an hour trying to argue that maps should be aligned differently as some sort of unreadable mess with the center of the island at the top or some shit.
>>81717087naw just you and spoogepygmy
>>81717129And now you seem more assmad, whichever end of the engagement you actually are.
>>81716594How does it feel to have turned your friend into a tranny pedo with your satanic game?
>>81716749I fucken hate fags like that, not having the decency to leave others out of it. What'd he do to try and end it?
>>81717087>Don't poke a cow!You're a fag.
>>81717150you should feel bad, but at least you and that other faggot can unite in being assmad that someone called you assmad.
>>81717137keep telling randos about your beatoff habits haflingwhile pretending to be above it all, entrapt by someone openly fucking with youyou're a clown, and you WILL entertain us
>>81717012I dont have to care in order to write one or two sentence responses. Youre the one having a shitfit because you were too stupid to let your cum marinate in your room.
>>81717170have a (you) for your continued seething. I'm glad you made up with the other guy in mutual outrage.
>>81717173>>81716672>>81716796remember when you tried that route the last few times?im not even the guy you fagged out on after he laughed at youbut i wanted to show youjust how much you caresucceeded, because look where you areeven as i outright tell you im trying to fuck with youyou waddle into it with your tiny little wee-man body with alacrity
>>81717219Anon, im literally just farming (You)s because i have to kill 15 more minutes before i can actually do what you want to do. Jesus H White Christ youre overthinking this and it just makes me laugh.
>>81715911Flipping the table mostly because there was potential for someone getting hurtThere are worse things outside of games, though like a guy being arrested for weed possession once, however the worst I ever experienced while playing were a table flip due to a bad roll and maybe two guys crying in separate occasions and a few commies gone wild but they get kicked before they could do any damage, people that bring any sort of politics to a table that don't include killing a king or helping a faction destroy their political enemies is just pants on head retarded, it's fantasy not the real world bro like seriously it almost always come from one aisle of the politics side being commies I have yet to experience the other side doing something retarded, worst I ever got was a gnomish rebellion because they came to take away their guns or a sword ban setting after a political faction assassinated the emperor being a gun grab analogy that got to one the nose still playable just really fucking stupid, samurai goblins and gnomes dude, if it wasn't that funny and stupid I would have left that gamePeople in other tables behave like animals though, many DMs just don't know how to wrangle their autists and more often than not just let them stay to maintain group cohesion or to avoid being seen as the bad guys, don't be afraid to kick a bad fruit they get worse if you let them sit in your tables, also don't be afraid to leave a bad game, sunk cost fallacy is a lie there are better games out there with bookers, blackjack and paladins, there's always another game if you are not comfortable with your current one
Go on, make another video out of it, you fucking cunts.
>>81717149Downed some pills and cut his wrist, got sick at the sight of blood and puked all over the bathroom. Fortunately one of the players was orderly at nursing home, so he was largely unfazed and treated him before ambulance arrived. While rest of us struggled to keep our stomach from turning.
>Be me, level 5 paladin>DM pushing us to our limit, we're all out of spell slots, no healing items left>Rest of party all knocked out by raiders/slavers who are going to rape/torture/eat/kill us (probably all at the same time)>DM brings everyone within 1 failed save of death to build dramatic tension>DM was supposed to swoop in with his self-insert DMPC to save the day last minute >It's too late, I already decided to mercy-kill the female PCs by crushing their skulls so they don't have to live through a more gruesome fateDM Face When
>>81717431True hero right here.
>>81717431You and your DM deserve each other.
>>81716772>>81717096She was a fairly minor character who was the daughter of the important DMPC.
>>81717462>DMPCs in pluralbait
>>81717513>Having a DMPC.>EverYeah you are a rapist.
>>81715911One of my former players is currently serving a life sentence after he chopped his wife up with an axe when it turned out that she was cheating on him with his brother. Outside that whole wife chopping thing he was pretty good player from what I remember (dude has been in jail for almost a decade at this point), turned up in time, didn't bitch about things, bit neurotic about germs and smelled like hand sanitizer but other than that a solid 8/10.
>>81717536Gunna invite him back to the group when he gets out?
>>81717454Who is this semen demon?
>>81717626If I recall it's from a show called Idaten, she doesn't appear much and the Manga seems to be better, there are a couple of good animation moments in there though
>>81717662>she doesn't appear muchShe's the protagonist.
>>81717708Wait wasn't the blond one the protag?I don't know people were complaining she didn't appear enough, show is in my backlog so I'm going over reccomendations from people I know
>>81717733Its a great show, shame it will never get a season 2.
>>81715911Kinda a toss up, honestly. I got two stories.1/2>One guy at my table.>Absolute Shitposter. >Wasn't a bother most of the time and nobody at my table really minded his irreverence.>Honestly it was kinda fun half the time, at least he was funny. >Starts doing fucked up stuff.>Nothing too wild, but a streak of depravity kicks in.>Other players started talking to me about him outside of the game. >Starting to have my own reservations>Next Session>Players on a ship traveling to another part of the map>Shitposter messing around with the ship's cat>Attempts to rape the cat.>Disgusted silence from the table.>Goddamn that silence hangs in the air for five minutes.>He shut up for the rest of the game>Took the hint and fucked off for good from my table. Since then "I rape the cat" is a meme that my recurring players have a giggle about now and then.
>>81715911Started ERPing with her friendIn a face to face game of six playersIn the middle of a public library
>>81717744Funny enough that's what they said as wellAt first I thought it would be pretentious with good animation but people just keep saying it's actually just good and entertaining so I'm giving it a chance>>81717749I guess a cat wasn't fine at that table
>>817177492/2>Same Campaign>Serious guy, good player, has some anger issues.>Leaves Campaign for a while because of issues.>Comes back about six months later.>A lot less of a prick.>I ask him if he wants to come back.>Happy to.>Nice to have him back.>Its like the gang is getting back together.>Shit starts going down between players off the table.>Try to be above it, but I can feel daggers being shot from across the way.>Deliberately "In Character" does something that TPKs in a side campaign.>Serious dude is starting to be a real prick to our friends.>Like goddamn dude, shit is getting mean.>Talk to him.>Personal Drama.>Anger issues back, with a vengeance.>Try to get my players to hug it out.>Its like the serious guy is on a personal mission to get under all of our skin.>Flips out on a mutual friend over a tiny joke.>Shows up for the next session.>Says nothing for the whole game, except for the part where he follows an NPC into an alleyway and murders them, because he lost a fair fistfight.>Character makes off like a bandit, because retard stealth.>Ghosts us completely, gone for like two months.>Another friend asks if he's gonna show up at some point.>Serious guy just leaves our contacts, gone.>Didn't even say goodbye.I wish I knew how to help him, I don't even wanna dislike him, goddamn dude - why you gotta be like this?
>>81717957Now that's actually bad, guy seems to have some baggage
>>81717957Dude needs to get over himself and stop trying to get revenge for nothing. If he explained what was making him mad then you might be able to work with him. He stormed off like a child instead, your better off without him
>>81716272He hangs around your mum m8
>>81715911His girlfriend at the time who he invited to play with us was not, as it turns out, 18 as was advertised.
>>81716817>Warlock and Rogue devorced a few years ago.OOFno good can come of that
>>81717298>not hookers and blackguard
>>81717586What part of life sentence don't you understand?
>>81718399I'll be honest no one wants to play them where I live, last time I saw one he was playing a glorified Ranger with edge
>>81718419>He think's life sentence is a sentence for life.LMAO
>>81715911>What's the worst thing a player at your table has ever done?Act like a whiny, entitled cunt mostlyOne guy farted a bunch and took stinky shits, leaving the door to the bathroom open so the smell wafted out to us. Also scratched the walls with the back of his chair. Never had his character sheet ready and couldn't do basic math. Wasn't entitled but he acted like a full on potato
>>81718437Depends on the country. Canada has life sentences that are actually your whole life. It's called dangerous offender status.
>>81715911Shove a mini up his ass and leave it covered in poop on the table out of sheer autistic rage
>>81718419if it's in America, he's eligible for parole after 20 years, with the exception being a sentence of "life without the possibility of parole"
>>81718838I must hear this Hero's tale
>>81715979>I basically sodomized an evil priestess with a sword and killed her.I mean, why did you do that?
>>81717532All npc's are dmpc's you fuckhead.
God I hate hosting so much>Fucked an Asian hooker a few days ago in my bedroom >placed several pairs of bras and women’s underwear in my fridge>baked a cake, drew a penis in icing and left it on my front door every day for a week
>>81719300Why are you being harassed by an Asian hooker
>>81719275To his credit, the term DMPC implies a particular type of npc
>>81716817>Pally invites me out to a coffie house with his pastor and the pair of them start chatting to me about conflict resolution and how to deal with people.Holy fucking based. Imagine being so bad at conflict resolution that one of your players tries to get you professional help lmao.
>>81715911Guy tried jacking off a player while we were playing. Player was non-consenting and the guy continued to try anyways.
>>81716594There's a lot to unpack here. >I ain't fuckin doin it
>>81715911Monologued for about 10 minutes and got our DM to take a full session just Roleplaying between that character and related NPCs. And then took up most of the next session on something completely different. I don't mind watching other characters develop during games but Jesus Christ we were all sitting there asking to do something and were politely told to STFU. Can't wait until that game is over. Only seeing it through out of an obligation to someone I care about.
>>81719214>evilnot op but that sums it up pretty well to me
>>81719825>Only seeing it through out of an obligation to someone I care about.I respect that. But at the same time, fuck all that shit
>>81715951This is what genuine schizophrenia looks like.
>>81715911Police brutality against other cops. I was an internal affairs officer who managed to force two crooked cops into a knife-fight at a blacksite by throwing a knife in there, telling both of them they ratted on the other and saying that the winner would be allowed to walk if they told me everything else they knew about a case I was looking into.If they didn't fight I'd just kill them both and pull it from a computer the party had acquired from a third accomplice we'd taken into custody previously. That gentleman was no longer in the city.He was buried alive in a brick of concrete outside of town.
Put their greasy burger down on top of a stack of char sheets, destroying themSaid person also later randomly ripped up one of the DM's maps because they thought it'd be funny
Brought their dumb fucking mutt with them to the house. The mutt proceeded to get into the DM's room and rip apart his entire collection of books, DND shit or otherwiseThousands of dollars in damages
>>81715911The last edgelord in our game tried to recruit the girl's PC into whoring herself to help him on a heist. He took over half an hour of the session trying to persuade her in character, which she kept rejecting. The thing is, the heist wasn't even something the GM pitched, he just decided he would steal someone's gold while he was having a good time. I later told the GM I wouldn't be coming back until that guy got kicked.
>>81716594>pedo triggering pedobased pedo scout!
Stabbed another player in the arm with a pocketknife.
>50% of the thread is horrifying tales of humanity>the other 50% is two guys arguing about masturbation techniquesI missed you, /tg/.
>>81715911If I go with what enraged me the most it's got to be the dude who tpk'd us in pvp during the epilogue of the campaign that was setting up the continuation with his Jar-Jar tier character. It was a Star wars game set in the old Republic, he played a character named Vanille (with a disruptor rifle named pumpkin spice or some shit) and always talked like a sassy black woman with the only character trait aside from that beeing that she enjoyed drinking pumpkin spice latte coffee. After the final showdown we basically decided to swear loyalty to that Valkorion dude (basically old Republic palpatine) in the epilogue session during which he decided to attack the super powerful emperor, after we tried talking him down for 5 minutes we decided to stop him flying around and taking shots at the dude. He then 1-shot both other player characters before beeing killed by Valkorion. Faggot didn't like the campaign because it was mostly talking instead of fighting and didn't want it to be continued. I chewed him out after the session ended because I was furious and he stopped playing with us after that but the campaign was ruined nevertheless.
>>81715911I think it was me. In one medieval themed game I torched the tatch roof of a couple peasant houses so that the city guard would be occupied with that instead of catching me. Another modern themed game I drove a car into a bar becauseI wanted to get a message across to the owners of the bar.
Not the worst thing, but it made me feel like shit. We were evacuating the remnants of a colony and only managed to get a bunch of children out alive. I then accidentally dropped in conversation with our quest giver that all their parents were turned into techno zombies and we didn't find any other survivors because i forgot the kids were in earshot. They were understandably upset and created an incredibly awkward situation and made me feel terrible for emotionally scarring them for life.
>>81718291but was she a decent player? were they happy together?
>>81719805>>81722139are these two stories connected?
>>81715911my friend, broke a miniature i gave him for the game. what a twat
>>81715951>would only play a sorcerer>typically was an elf fighterKYS retard
The autismo Lard Lord once threw himself on the table when he took down a bad guy with some grapple move, rolling a nat 1.Crushing his own bag of chips and spilling drinks everywhere.He "got caught up in the action".
>>81715911I was 13 just started playing 40k had maybe £30 worth of tyranids i bought from ebay. Everyone is playing each other besides this one guy ask him does he want to play. Sets up hes entire army of space marines easily 2k points. Kills one of my units each turn to fuck with me. He must of been one of those guys after that i never return to the local,
>>81723307That's pretty funny
>>81719300Mate, you got 7 free cakes and some lingerie, stop complaining.
>>81723284Look at the rest of the post, none of it makes sense
>>81719300Anon, this is cute and you know it.She is leaving you CAKE on your doorstep. That's some old school southern girl shit right there.Shit, I'd consider wifing her if she isn't a superhoe.
>>81719300This reminds me of a thread we had on another chan where we were discussing the possibility of hiring prostitutes to play video games with.I guess it's still valid with D&D, isn't it?
>>81723784Tbh i only come to this chan for a somewhat active /tg/ community. But even here half the threads are endless political infighting.
>>81722846Bro, they'd just survived a technozombie out break, they were already scarred
>>81725380We saved them from a shelter where they were locked in. They had no idea what happened to their parents or the colony before i spilled the beans.
>>81715911Accidentally poisoned the girl they were interested in at the time, causing her to get food poisoning and stop coming because she thought it was an anxiety induced stomach pain from all the arguing going on in the 8 person group.>it was me.
>>81715911One of my players accidentally got his character's wife killed. Another player accidentally committed 3 counts of magical manslaughter. And yet another smashed a defeated baddy's head into the wall and dragged it along for about 5 meters a la Alucard
>>81716749Look slike he hated your campaign so much he decided to kill himself.
>>81716772>game about boy scouts>NOOOO you can't play as kids cuz it'll make my pp grow!Neck yourself coomer
>>81715911Spread lies that I insulted his girlfriend and called him a simp, just to get the other players to throw me out.
>>81723077Does it matter? Even if you're ideologically committed to the moral innocence of rawdogging teenage gash, fact is the pigs aren't and you're going to be in a heap of trouble if they find you loitering around when the other guy gets arrested for underage sex.
>>81719214I was new to D&D and just thought it would be funny. I didn't go into detail just literally said I shove the sword up her ass as I come around the stairs. Apparently even though I didn't give extensive details that made people feel uncomfortable.
>>81716259Average dnd 5e player
>>81727473yes it does, if respecting the law was more important than people's wellbeing i should still be allowed to have slaves.I highly doubt the whole cops issue would go beyond "i don't know this girl at all, i've just seen her with him a few times and she didn't look in danger." and it's widely different if she was 16/17 and a KHV neckbeard went "achtually that's not alright" or if everyone found out she actually just turned 13 and he has 3 other girls on the side
>>81728173>pedo tries to use "muh morals" for pedophiliaEVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
>>81716879That’s pretty par for the course, don’t let shitty relationship drama sour you.>>81717431I’m dead lmao>>81717749Sometimes, a cat is fine too, but I think he misread the atmosphere. Depending on how long y’all had been on the boat though, it might have been appropriate rp.
>>81728221>dumb murricunt uses words programmed in his NPC brain without any self thought or understanding on what it meansEVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
>>81728250no child will ever consent to being within 100 meters of you
>>81716594>Boy scout is a pedophileEvery fucking time.
>>81728280good, children are annoying. but we were talking about teens, that's a big difference.
>>81728250You are not nearly as intelligent as you seem to think you are. You need to rethink your life choices.
>>81728341I want you to take a good long look at this picture. This will never be you. No teenager will choose to be with you over someone with the same age as them. If you ever got close to these kids, their smiles would vanish, because of your disgusting presence.
>>81715979>"i kill her by shoving the sword up her ass as I cum"
>>81728173They also made slavery illegal anon. You go to prison for having slaves regardless of whether its moral.
>>81728413for one, the conversation started over a teenager choosing someone over their age bracket so the pasta is irrelevantfor two, why are you searching for photos of teens in swimsuits?