What are good quirks for ancient vampires?
one for all, best quirk in the series
Vile habits. Unwillingness to be part of your society. Breaking taboos. Ennui.
>>82606823Judging from Vampire the Masquerade, being very gay
>>82606823Uses slang from every period they lived in in a single SAN-damaging sentence. He'll call you a bitch-ass whackadoo incel jackanape and kill you while you're still reeling
Memory gets a bit fuzzy when it comes to dates. Has a hard time remembering if he did something yesterday or a couple years ago. The decades just blend together, you know?
>>82608457Similarly, their outfits should be a hodgepodge of shit that was fashionable at various points throughout historyBasically they should look like mental patients
>>82606823After a millennia of unlife, most ancient vampires have managed to 1) grow unassailably powerful and 2) indulge in every conceivable whim available to them. As such, they've become so desperate for any kind of new stimulation that they've chosen to impose certain challenges upon themselves in an effort to feel excitement again. Consequently, to outsiders, the actions of ancient vampires tend to resemble a form of obsessive-compulsive disorder: One ancient vampire might only feed on individuals who are both left-handed and bald, while another will take pains to ensure it never steps upon a single crack while stalking its prey.Indeed, most of the "weaknesses" vampire hunters have since mistakenly attributed to the species as a whole - inability to cross running water or enter a house uninvited, aversion to crosses and other religious iconography, the need to count every grain of a bag of rice spilled in front of it - are, in fact, the individual eccentricities of select ancient vampires throughout history.
>>82606823he goes "BLEH BLEH BLEH"
>>82606823Not being convinced that this whole electricity thing isn't just a fad that'll pass. Insisting that younger generations talk to them in Sumerian or something instead of newfangled barbarian languages. Using bizarre ethnic slurs that don't refer to any currently existing ethnicity. >>82608457>>82608822>>82608783These are all pretty cool ideas too.
>>82606823After not getting laid for centuries he has become really into futanari and insists that they're not gay.
>>82606823making them extremely racist, but specifically against races that no longer exist, like Poles, Iceni, Chickchaw and Thracians
>>82606823farts in the night
>>82609819I didn't know anons were ancient vampires
>>82606823An obsession with reading people's fates through peoples teeth.
>>82609973>Doomed to forever wear bracesAAAAAAAAAAAH
>>82606823none of the "traditional" vampire weakness, innate blood magic users, doesn't actually need to feed on blood. finds humans amusing. >"what will they discover next, it seems like it was just last century they learned to fly, and now they're in space? how quaint."
>>82607072>tfw I am a vampire
An absolute refusal to acknowledge recent historical events, be they the changing of national borders, the outcomes of wars, that wars even happened etc.
>>82606823OCD. Severe mistrust of any sentient being. Extreme levels of Psychopathy/sociopathy.
>>82606823Speaks to the empty air. Long lonely isolation has driven him to monologuing and speaking in third person.
>>82606823That was an odd filmCaptcha: WARVP
Discriminates in really bizarre ways their subordinates have to tiptoe around.
>>82606823I like the one where they obsessively count rice
>>82606823In a reverse from many of the posts, he's actually extremely interested in trying to keep up with the world as it is. Believing that falling behind will expose him. So he's always talking about the latest trends, wears current day fashion, and has as many of the current techy doodads as he can get his hands on.Except he sort of slept through bits and pieces of the scientific revolution and doesn't really "get" electricity or physics. So he just sort of treats modern technology as highly controlled magic.
>>82615787Kind've suggests that Silicon Valley transhumanists are vampires who're trying to cover up their preexisting immortality.
The older the vampire, the less human they look and choose to appear. Even if they retain the ability to appear human, they simply care less and less about doing so to accommodate lesser beings, and on-top of that they have become mentally and spiritually so distant that they could not even convincingly pretend to be human anymore if they wanted to.
>>82608457So they talk like Joe Biden?
being a lesbian
>>82606823Need night light to sleep
>>82606823Learned the wrong pronunciation for a word and simply refuses to believe it's wrong to this day.Really good at a sport nobody plays anymore, or can be played alone. Playing hacky sack solo in the foyer just to pass some time.Has incredible trivia knowledge of TV shows that ended decades ago, calls them programs. Talks about dead people as if they aren't, especially his old bandmates. He played bass.Has a collection of classic cars in various states of repair he never drives, says he'll finish them "someday".Constantly does his own home repairs because he compares the rates to those 60 years ago, has to do the roof at night.Somewhere in the mansion there's a room with twenty-two number two pencils in the ceiling. He's been recording when they fall out. Has every console, has been talking mad shit online since SOCOM. Really good at MvC2. Does not show up on a webcam and only learned this playing Uno. Uno involves counting and is a personal favorite. Rollerblades around the estate sometimes, has learned not to use the stairs and just floats or grind the rail down. Gets cyberbullied, legitimately offended when called a boomer because he's way older than that. Artificially slow typist since he learned on a typewriter, still writes letters with it.Wears the same Halloween costume every year.
>>82606823Completely incapable of telling humans apart or remembering their names.
I used a vampire as a comedy character once, he was obsessed with being "hip"and with it. He was basically a grandpa who tried really hard to relate to his grandkids. He was a big hit and I think I'm gonna bring him back in a different campaign.
>>82619467Jesus, these are good.
>>82606823They've spent the past 5 centuries artificially selecting a breed of a duck whose call sounds like a swear word from his now long-dead native language.
>>82606823Always complaining about not being able to challenge people he hates to duels anymore.Feels an obsessive need to correct any historical inaccuracies in every book, tv show, movie etc.Has a bunch of historical nerd collectibles like original comic books and unopened Beatles albums he bought new and sells them once in a while for extra money.Gets into trouble because he cannot understand what the problem with using "negro" or "colored" is anymore.Still uses a Sony Walkman.Has a massive stereo system he uses to blast '40s big band jazz.Insult comebacks are almost always over three decades old.Reminisces about when he could smoke on commercial airlines.Still bitches about the Hapsburgs.
>>82606823Apply the old old tropes to their comedic conclusions ala What We Do In The Shadows.I'm probably never running or playing a V:TM game but it makes me smile to imagine a character refusing to flee the scene of a crime even though they can all hear the sirens because a stray bullet hit a bag of rice or something
>>82608783That's me now
>>82606823Collecting and preserving knowledge and culture.
>>82606823They're all baby boomers, but to the extreme. Many of them have extremely offensive political opinions that are so outdated they are no long shocking. >There is no evidence supporting that the Black Plague ever happened. >The Magna Carta was a mistake>Benedict Arnold did nothing wrong>The Boston Tea Party was an inside job!>Genghis Khan did nothing wrong!
>>82606823extremely politically opinionated about political matters that don't matter anymore.Just have a vampire who is, like, super fucking angry about the arrival of the saxons in the british isles displacing the native britons.
>>82621965Then the Norman's conquering Saxon England too.
>>82621882The terrible irony of ancient vampires is that nobody understands their prejudices except for the similarly ancient rivals against whom they're prejudiced. Nobody else understands why it all went wrong with king Mita (or anything else, really) except for Gyges and he's a GOD DAMNED LYDIAN.This is why truly ancient vampires who despise each other don't go as far as wiping each other out - for a lot of them, the only things that still make sense in a world that only makes less sense over time are each other.
>>82621969Old "scottish" vampire who is all about celt pride worldwide, terrified of running into another Elder who remembers he was actually born a Dane and will ruin his reputation by making barely comprehensible Cnut jokes nonstop.
>>82616063Is there a sequel to this pic? What happens next?
>>82606823Started their own eugenics project in a huge warehouse where they selectively breed rats so that become amphibious (think seals) and eventually aquatic (dolphins). Also breeds cats so that they become bipedal and have thumbs. Has been doing this since the late 1800s.
>>82619801This is the funniest thing I've read all year on this shitheap website.
basically be BASED YULRIC BILE, out on a crusade to destroy all pretty and or sparkly vampires.>>82622032its the only family they have.
I like the idea that after a thousand years or more, ancient vampires don't really have "enemies" any more, not in the context that most people would think of enemies. I mean, sure, you and a fellow ancient vampire may have gotten into it back in your younger days in that little crusade business during the 12th century or whenever it was (hard to remember the exact year sometimes), but that fellow vampire is still around, just like you, and is one of the ONLY people on the planet you can talk with about the good old days. One of the few who understands you, and you understand them, because you have seen countries, nations, empires, and much more rise and fall together.After a while, you stop being an enemy, and start having a weird friendship. What's the travails of the moment (even if the other guy is being an asshole at the moment) compared with centuries upon centuries? You'll just check back in a few decades from now, he's probably chilled out.
>>82606823when he sees your girl he becomes a SIMP
>>82606823They’ve completely stopped caring about individual mortals instead getting extremely invested in the affairs of family lineages. treating them as singular entities and going so far as ensuring that certain ones don’t die out.
>>82606823They've been into miniature wargaming since HG Wells time.
>>82606823Despite millenia of speaking multiple foreign languages, their never learned to count in anything but their native tongue. So whenever anybody ask them anything numbers-related they are prone to answer in an ancient language.
>>82606823Obsessive compulsive traits. Through either some bizarre attempt to retain their former humanity or a quirk of long-term brain rot, vampires engage in ritualistic activities in relation to their feeding and freak their shit out if they're unable to complete their ritual, risking discovery.>must read one of their victim's books cover to cover before they can choose a new target>must leave $20 USD (adjusted for inflation) in the victim's wallet or purse before feeding>must wash the victim's dishes and take out the trash before they leave
>>82621882>I fucking hate Sargon of Akkad, that fucker should shut the hell up>I know, I hate these stupid youtubers>The fuck is a youtuber?
>>82606823Takes great pleasure in defying the pope. "Mwhahahaa! Thanks to my scheming the mayor of this pathetic little village (of some millions) will appoint the local bishop! Let us celebrate by hunting Christians with crossbows!"
>>82606823>What are good quirks for ancient vampires?Complains about the shepherd tribes, like a lot. Everything bad that happens or will happen is because the pastolarists are amassing numbers and getting ready to cull the good riverfolk.
>>82621965I remember I got into a argument when I was running a vampire game because a player didn’t like that I made Dracula of all people really, really, racist towards the T*rks
>>82616242>first encounter with ancient bidenpire>"look, fat"
>>82621882>extremely offensive political opinions that are so outdatedyou need to go back soi boi
>>82619467i feel personally attacked
>>82606823Obsession with technology but complete and total inability to use it.
>>82627404that guy should chill out on the rothschilds, let it go
>>82627842>must leave $20 USD (adjusted for inflation) in the victim's wallet or purse before feedingDepending on when they started that habit, that’s a fuckload of money.
>>82628617Boomeratu?I like it
>>82628402>vampire fat-shames everyone since they can stay skin & bones without dyingfund it
>>82628632500 and change seems generous but manageable for an elder vampire with passive income and a sense of standards. It'd be up to setting fluff to hash out how much blood is taken and how often, but I'd take $530 for a case of mild anemia.
>>82609914>races that no longer exist, like Poleswat? I no longer exist?
>>82628621That's what they said about the Ptolemys and Hapsbergs, and by gum... well, they may have had a point actually, but the sunk cost fallacy is a hell of a thing even when you HAVEN'T been doing something stupid for centuries.Although some vampires doing the generational eugenics thing have got to be well aware of how appalling the results can be at this point and are specifically breeding absolute trolls for shits and giggles. Just complete SMASHED and SLAMMED bloodlines.
>>82628874hey man if i make a joke about how you can 'polish my sausage' (i.e. wank off my cock) is that offensive?also if i go into a 'polish shop' and ask if they sell either shoe polish or nail polish, what are the odds they actually do?thanks in advance
>>82628892My man just faded away into oblivion and you're making anglo puns at him?
>>82628910oh well it's not the first time the Polish have been systematically extinguished
>>82619467>Uno involves counting and is a personal favorite.kek
>>82628892>is that offensive?Meh, doesn't make much sense cause who the fuck polishes sausages? I think it would better of with "polishing your sceptre" as that is actually one of polish euphemisms.>what are the oddsDunno for sure, cause I have never been to a "polish shop" like you probably mean it, just shops in poland (and there are shops that sell them here of course). I guess those might focus more on traditionally polish products, and I don't think we have any famous shoe or nail polish (I don't use either so not an expert) so that reduces the chances of it being there, but there might be some that do just for the memes, so it might be non-zero.
>>82606823A fascination with the most mundane shit you can think of whilst being dismissive towards anything else "advanced". Computers won't impress them. Cars? They can outrun those easy. But show them a ballpoint pen or A4 paper? You'll be lucky to get their attention as they go on and on about how much more convenient this is over using charcoal and leather and write down some arcane bullshit involving industrialised blood sacrifice.
>>82620231>Has a bunch of historical nerd collectibles like original comic books and unopened Beatles albums he bought new and sells them once in a while for extra money.Also has a big storeroom filled with junk that he thought was going to be big, like piked shoes, Wii U consoles, fidget spinners, do-it-yourself hair jewelry kits, special limited collector's edition comics from the 90's and mummified tulip bulbs that he just can't bear to part with.
>>82629040>Iron age vampire gets arrested for stealing bundles of stainless steel cutlery and cookware from a local cafe>he rants and raves to the police about how the foolish mortals are making wasteful use of their mastery of the riddle of steel, and that he will have them forged into war-blades for his thralls
>>82606823Idk why but I'd imagine any creature that long lived would eventually become the worst kind of trendy consumer if only to keep boredom at bay
>>82606823Boredom would be a huge enemy. I imagine the Ancient being *deep* into a large number of long-term hobbies, like writing hundreds of thousands of pages of epics, detailing every day in the life of his fictional characters, just to give himself something to do. Or binge watching anime for months on end bc wtf else is he going to do with his time?
>>82629707>party infiltrates lair of powerful vampire>finds his Astolfo dakimakura
>>82629932>Ancient vampire makes his own custom dakimakura>They are all based on people he knew who are long dead, either mortals or other vampires
>ctrl+f loli>0 resultsThis place is losing its values.
>>82630013I assumed that went without saying. There are ancient vampires who might be from times/places where marrying a girl before puberty wasn't uncommon
>>82627576Not only that, their culture didn't invent the 0 or use base 10, so they might tell you it's five eights instead of forty.The concept of negative numbers was treated as a childish joke when it first showed up, and it's proponents ridiculized. I'd imagine am ancient gut might get very riled up at -x.
>>82609790"X is a fad" sounds like pretty obvious thing. After you've seen hundred fashion style and gadget come and go, you stick to the "classics". Imagine a vampire hosting a party for the living and all the food is misremebered medieval. A hundred pots of porridge and applesauce.
>>82609112Kek I like that idea. Vampires are basically pokemon fans who have to make up new challenges during their playthroughs just to keep it interesting.
You know, Agents of Shield was(is?) a crappy show, but there's one line that I definitely want to use one day when playing a vampire or an immortal"Do you know what my favourite thing about the young is? They age."
>>82630162Imagine trying to explain variables to an ancient vampire that learned math back when it was written in prose.>So as we can see, x equals five.>Now wait, I'm sure x is ten.>No see, for this problem x equals a different thing. If you solve it the anser is five.>How does a symbol equals two different numbers now? That's just senseless, just use another letter for five.>No no, the point is that x can equal anything. It has no value.>And now it has no value? You just told me it was ten and then you told me it was five.>No, listen. X is a variable. It can have different values.>Well I want it to be 10, like it should.>But it cannot be 10 in this equation, it has to equal 5!
>>82630659>negative numbers?>IMAGINARY NUMBERS?!?>THE CATTLE HAS BECOME INSANE!
>>82629932>It's based on actual Astolfo>They were pals, he thinks Astolfo would find it funny
>>82606823Culinary mastery. Partly to avoid garlic (or slowly build an immunity to it), but also because so many millennia of drinking blood has spurred him to tailor the populace's cuisine to make the blood taste best.If you see a restaurant over two centuries old, most of the time it's owned and run by vampires.
>This Amazon Prime is a great idea, I don't even need to leave the house during sunlight hours.>Humanities greatest invention is the MMO, I can have a social life AND only awaken at night.>Refers to the different nightclubs as 'restaurants' except for the goth nightclub where he actually goes clubbing.>Hates Nazis not for any usual reason but because he is convinced Himmler is still alive and after him.>Gets really upset about inaccuracies in historical movies and vampire movies>Not Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter though, that actually happened.
>>82609112Only preys on the sunburnt, claims the sun provides better flavor.
>>82606823They need blood to survive. Make their living vampires drink any animal blood. They still age slowly.Undead vampires are urge stricken and must have only human blood. Ingesting animal blood makes them start to take their form, also becoming insane while doing so. (Thralls?)have fun
>>82626181This is a good cross trope for liches e.g. became a lich to conduct evolution experiments
>>82606823Forever in academia. They collect degrees just to pass the time and see how fields advance over the centuries. Some have been in college for as long as the college in question has existed.
>>82631044Ha ha -- certainly explains one or two of MY professors! ;-)
>>82630967>Ingesting animal blood makes them start to take their form, also becoming insane while doing so.Werewolf origin story.
>>82621882>Many of them have extremely redpilled political opinions that are so based they are no long shocking.FTFY
>>82631011>a wizard achieves lichdom, sacrificing his dick, so that he can spend centuries selectively breeding vermin goblins into the shortstack goblins he wished existed when he was an apprentice
>>82626181>>82631011Centuries later he rules as the god-emperor of the skaven.
>They treat mortal humans as we might treat dogs, or a really cool fish>Have their followers on a good boy point system with handmade trinkets and treats as rewards>Treats those vampires who have sex with human mortals as weirdo perverts>Is one of Cain's many exs>Sometimes forgets literary rates and education rates are much higher now, will treat new followers like they are intellectually disabled at first>Complains that records destroyed music and are poor substitutes for live performances>Complains that it's bullshit his eye sight started to fade a couple centuries ago and he's never gonna get to fly a moon ship before the next societal collapse
>>82632518>he's never gonna get to fly a moon ship before the next societal collapseIf society collapsed now, there never would be moon landings again. All the oil necessary for building technological infrastructure which can be extracted without preexisting technological infrastructure already has been.
>>82629707>The Subspace Emissary's Worlds Conquest was never actually the world's longest fanfic, Count Vladislav's self-insert AU to Bram Stoker's Dracula where Vladislav clumsily forces his way into the narrative, defeats Dracula and steals not just the Brides, Mina and Lucy for his harem, but also seduces Van Helsing (who was revealed to be a woman in disguise all along) and then runs around the world meddling in everything of historical note had it beat decades before.
>>82606823He studies genetics in an effort to clone blood so he doesn't need to hunt in order to feed, but rather for the pleasure of it
>>82606823eats fruit cause fruit bat
>>82634153>Fruit vampire>obviously doesn't kill people because he can just buy fruit>still has most of your standard vampire traits, sans blood>generally a cool guy but sort of a misanthrope purely due to living for so long
>>82634329so he is just an immortal Bat mutant at this point who is hurt by sunlight?
>>82610489Also wearing long flowing capes, staring out of windows in brooding silence, and lounging carelessly on thrones.
>>82634153>>82634329Oh no, the fruit's for you.
>>82620231>Still bitches about the HapsburgsIn fairness, this makes a good portion of the UK vampires, especially after it became clear how much of a paedophile creep Andrew is.
>>82628008"Cassius, they're Muslims.""What? Since when?""Eight centuries ago."
>>82630841>Not Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter though, that actually happened.Watching it with him is a nightmare, because every other scene he points out someone he knew, and starts rambling about some bullshit he did with them "back in the day", talking over the movie.
>>82606823I have this idea for a story, a deconstruction of vampire romance. So there is a hot young guy, looking 18 or so, who is lord of his own estate, but is really a hundreds-year old vampire. His long life has made him apathetic and he indulges himself in demented mind games to pass the years. He kills a family and saves the very young little girl, and raises her, and as she gets older, she falls in love with him and is convinced he saved her from the other vampires he leads. Then there is also a young man that he raised as well, who was in love with the girl, forming a love triangle. Unlike the girl, the boy was old enough to vaguely remember what happened to his family, so he always fears and hates the vampires. Eventually, the vampire lord turns the boy into a vampire and casts him out, leaving him as a self-loathing vampire. The boy realizes he can't control himself and is about to kill someone, so he in a mentally-clouded state goes back to the vampire lord, because he has no one else to turn to, and the vampire lord manipulates him to murder-rape the girl. Afterwards, the boy realizes that he enjoyed it, and is inducted into the vampire lord's coven.
>>82619467>Uno involves counting and is a personal favorite.>>82628939Doublekek
>>82634921>a deconstruction of vampire romance
>>82634921>a deconstruction of vampire romanceThe vampire romance novel authors are all vampires. Actual, proper vampires who learned the advantages of propaganda.
>>82630841>>Hates Nazis not for any usual reason but because he is convinced Himmler is still alive and after him.>implying Himmler would possibly still be alive>he would have to be a vampire himself>turned in the last days of the war>totally not living undercover for the past decadesThis sounds completely unrealistic, good sir, I am quite sure such a man would be long dead and most certainly not still seeking any leads on that traitorous fucker who abandoned him at the end of the war. By the way, you wouldn’t happen to live nearby would you? Got an IP address?