Oh shit nigger, you're about to go on an deep sea submarine adventure! But first you must choose who are you working for: the military? A corporation? Or do you want to stick it to da man and work for yourself?Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327666mystery box
>>327666Let's go FULL CORPORATE.
>>327671There is no mystery box
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327677Independent then. We don't need no corporation or military to back us up.LOCK IT IN!
>>327679Being independent gives you these choices for a sub. Just know that because you're not backed by a corporation or the military, your crew will consists of a bunch of your friends and room mates
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327684ArgonautYou're late NaP
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327684FUCK THOSE CHOICESGET THE MYSTERY BOX OPTION BETWEEN HEIRLOOM AND SUB SANDWICHLock in again!
>>327689From my perspective I'm on time. Anyway, ya sure m8
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327692Lock in
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>327692Confirming selection, Captain!
>>327696And since this is your vessel, you can rename it, if that's waht you want
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327697"Moby Dick" Lock in
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327697Jason
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327697Spoops McGoops
>>327699Ah yes, yer the captain of the Moby Dick. You command the Dick.Anyway, choose what you look like. If this was backed by a big corporation you would ahve gene altering technologies to alter your appearance anyway you like, but since you're indie, this is all you get
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>327712Beardless CaptainLock in
>>327714Enter name here
>>327712>>327714Confirming for baby face.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327719BabyfaceLock in
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327719Derps McGurps
>>327719Head Commander Doyle (of the Dick)
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327719MelvinLock in
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327719>>327728let me roll for you son
>>327730Strange Family name you got there
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327733Its a missprint. Melvin Lochness
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327733>>327726
>>327738
>>327743That's good. Confirm it!
>>327746
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327743Confirm
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327743>>327746fug, my roll
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327743This image.>>327749
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327749I dont have a name
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327749Eat a corndog OP
>>327755
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327760
>>327764
I didn't expect this to be a puzzle quest.../exit name input/help
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327766Baha
>>327766Simon must be reading his fanfiction out loud.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327766Skip name creation and cut to us boarding our sub
>>327770
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327773Sea Man
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327773Hit enter
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327773Notaskeleton Lochin
>>327777Where the quads at?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>327773Jack Sparrow
>>327779Just know that if Disney comes to my house with a lawsuit, it's all your fault
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327787>>327776SMASH THAT ENTER KEY
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327787Zack Spareroom
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327787I regret nothing. Hit enter.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327787Anons gang up on OP and beat the fag down
>>327789Domestic abuse
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327803Oh shit, we're past namingHug the enter key to make up for it
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327803OH SHIT IT CALLED THE DEEP SEA POLICE!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327803So wait, who are we?
>>327807"Hands up, creep">>327809You're Jack
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>327814The Deep Sea Police starts beating our ass
>>327815
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327820Make a getaway on our sub and leave our ass as a distraction.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327820DONKEY NOOOO!
>>327814Aren't we in our ship? Have our crew members throw him in the brig.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327821Blow up the rails before we get on track again.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327820A valiant sacrifice, we shall never forget you
>>327821Wow that was an abrupt start to your deep sea voyage.As your Mody Dick descends the waters you think about what's your goal for going deep down into the sea
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327830To find the lost city of Atlantis and get a mermaid waifu
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327830To be the first man to procreate with a creature living in the deepest trench existing.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327830Collect waifus and treasure. Then start Outer Heaven.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327830To fuck a sea-urchin.
>>327830TO OPEN THE MYSTERY BOX IN THIS FUCKING PANEL>>327684
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327830To find the forgotten land of Mysterious Boxia.
>>327834... but Atlantis sounds okay. I guess.
>>327834Steve, your first mate, and also room mate, looks at you skeptically
>>327858Ah fuck, quoted wrong, meant for >>327832
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327858Tell him to shut it or he's getting tossed out into the sea.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327858Duck you started sooner than expected NoP.Let's get to know our crew!
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327858Not just any sea-urchin.THE sea-urchin.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>327858"STEVE, WHO ARE THE PATRIOTS?"
>>327864"I don't get it"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327871Shut it steve! Bring the rest of the crew so we remember what they look like and their names!.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>327871Let's meet the crewStarting with the cookAn Orc Cook
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327871That sea-urchin is the legend of deep sea! We'll be heroes if we manage to fuck it up!
>>327877"Greetings, Captain" said your cook and home ec classmate
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327886What's for dinner, m8?
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327886Attention all crew, please report to the bridge for a head count.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327886Cook Stewbings, you are possibly the most decorated officer on this ship, plus you make a fine ass pasta. You are most welcome on the bridge at any time.
>>327890"Ay yo where's the captain"
>>327897It's time for the high dive test.I'll be observing from the water
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327897your sub hits the bridge support
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327897Hey steve have you seen the rest of the crew? You dont think we left them on the surface with that cop did we on that bridge?
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327897Welp, looks like it's just you the cook and the first mate on this sub...Better hire some new crew mates at the underwater pub and grill.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327899>>327897FUCK
>>327900"oh wait, there he is"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327908it starts minigame with catching your falling down crewfuck up and you'll be left with only cook and Steve
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327908BET YOU GUYS 5 BUCKS YOU WONT JUMP DOWN HERE FROM THAT HIGH!!
>>327910Now roll 5d100, The first dice is the picking dice, highest gets picked. The following 4 is for the 4 crewmen. If a crewman's roll is higher than 30 then he is saved
Rolled 70, 41, 74, 31, 57 = 273 (5d100)>>327921gotta save em all
Rolled 57, 71, 71, 3, 45 = 247 (5d100)>>327921
Rolled 45, 4, 58, 69, 20 = 196 (5d100)>>327921I'll fuck it up
Rolled 85, 22, 84, 99, 42 = 332 (5d100)>>327921Yus
>>327926Amazingly, you saved them all
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327932Introduce everyone
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>327932Unfortunately they landed in your shipment of sink bombs, cut to them saluting us.
>>327934"But they didn't?" questioned Steve
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>327936>>327933
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327936Whats causing that smell then?
>>327941Ah yes, your crew:- Dan "the Man": Voted most likely to die first for cheap drama- Tyrone: Black guy who lived next door to you, owes you 5 dollars- Wilson: Went to school with you that one time- Manlet: a manlet
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>327953A group of dolphins begin harassing your sub
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>327953We need to obtain more crew. Preferably of the Russian persuasion.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327953Plot a course for the deepest trench.
>>327963"Hell no! Aint no reds getting on this sub! Death to commies!" claimed Wilson
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327953go to the onboard sauna and discuss the problem with our ass to the crew.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327968Someone throws vodka at Wilson
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>327968descend into the sea in search of waifus
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327968He reveals himself to be a nazi along with the manlet and dan the man.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327968Explain that the Russians will also be cute girls.
>>327971
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>327984That's a full bottle, it should've exploded into shards
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>327984drink vodka and dive
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>327984He rages and annilates the manlet.
>>327990"Captain, are you sure diving under the influence is a good idea?"yerrssh
>>328001On the quest for Pepe island
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328001THE SHARK IN THE BACKGROUND CALLS THE DEEP SEA POLICE ON US
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328001While were diving check our secret stash of "illegal consumables"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328001Also, abuse prescription drugs whilst driving in order to forget our tragic past.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328001"Why else do you think I've been smoking meth, jackass?!"
>>328004And so it didIF IT HAND FINGERS, HAH! TAKE THAT, MARINE LIFE! #LANDLUBBER4EVER
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328017His squid friend calls the police using his tentacles
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328017Capture it the cook can make shark fin soup.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328017Drive by harpooning.
>>328017We hit rock bottom
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328025
>>328020oh nnoes
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328029Lucky for us we're in international waters.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328029The Deep Sea Police arrive and ram our submarine
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328029Do a drive by harpooning on them to stop them.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328029Deep Sea police sub begins battle with us
>>328034
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328041You gain a wanted level
>>328042"Damn! Captain! We're now officially wanted criminals! We better be careful now"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328046lets look at whats the best thing to dive for right now
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328046Itsh, ok... Make depthsh of 20000 leaguesh, we are searcshing, for culthlu
>>328050"Well captain, accoding to this poorly drawn map, with our current location we can dive for three things. First, there are some ruins near here, possible from some ancient civilaztionn or something, there may be treasure there. Then there's a ship wreckage that hopefully also contain some things worth salvaging. And then there's a huge hole that'll take us even deeper down into the abyss, who knows what we'll find down there"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328058To the abyss numbah 1
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328058DIVE FOR THOSE RUINS
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328058Lookin for Cthulhu in the ruins
>>328060Aw yeaaah, check out your sick diving skills.You're getting thirsty, betting drink some more
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328065Look underwater jews Such majestic creaturesDo we have a biologist on board? Please don't tell me it's the cook
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328065search for waifus
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328065Drink rum. ALL THE RUM.WE ARE NOW SUBMARINE PIRATES!
>>328070Damn, the abyss is pretty dark, can't find any waifus here
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328074turn on your lights
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328074Head lights boy,And radarAnd gaydarAnd Tina feydar
>>328078
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328083Use our radar to navigate
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328083delve deeper into the darkere darkness
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328083Exterior lights, silly.
>>328084"Radar shows nothing so far, cap'n"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328095go towards that white dot
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328095What's that white dot on the left then?
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328095HmmDo we have a biologist on board? If so bring him here, if it's the orc... get him here faster
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328095Zoom and Enhance on that white dot
>>328098"Well captain, I'm indeed a biologist. In the sense that I know what is edible and what isn't"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328105Take off his glasses and wear them.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328105GREAT! CAN WE EAT WHATEVER THE FUCK THIS THING IS THAT'S SUCKERED ON OUR FRONT?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328105What's your name cook?
>>328108"Well from this angle I'm not sure, if we can collect some samples I may be able to determine its culinary qualities. As in it's time to kill it"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328112MURDER IT LIKE A NARWHALA GLORIOUS FUCKING NARWHAL
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328112I LIKE THIS COOKLaunch photon torpedoes At the beast, numbah 1
>>328116"Aye aye, captain. Readying drill horn, preparing to activate Ramming Speed. Targetting engaging. Captain, we can let the computer aim for us or you can manually do it with that handy dandy control panel right next to your chair there" said Wilson. Racist and also Mr Exposition
>>328126I'll take the controls!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328126fuck computers we sail our own ship
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328128>>328128
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328126MASTER OF MY DESTINY!
>>328129"Aye aye captain. Bringing up visuals onto main screen"Surely aiming your weapons while drunk is the best idea
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328136Activate the spiral engines.Pierce whatever the hell's on our ship.
>>328136High quality visuals cap'n
>>328136"Might as well smoke this here bowl of meth while I do it, too!""I am fucking awesome."
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328139>>328136
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328140
>>328138"Activating spiral engines""Time to kill this generic abyssal monster""I mean, black body, some tentacles and teeth, how lazy can ya get?!""A literal black screen"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328149The creature engulfs us
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328149Kill it and collect the remainsIs it edible mister cook also known as Stewbings
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328149Pierce the abyss.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328149The monster and the Moby Dick jump gloriously out of the water like a breaching humpback whale.Looks like something a stoner would have painted on the side of his van.
>>328153Oh no!1! It has engulfed us in its mass of teeth and tentacles! Now we can't see!Roll 2d100 to pierce the darknessFirst one is pick second is success rate0-9: FUCK!10-19: Fuck!20-39: Fuck40-79: Fuck yeah!80-100: FUCK YEAH!!
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>328162Radical 90's Guitar Solo
Rolled 57, 42 = 99 (2d100)>>328162Fuck yeah?
Rolled 49, 15 = 64 (2d100)>>328162fuck nah
>>328168
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328176Row rowFight the powa
>>328177Coincedentally, that is also how your vessel is powered. The manlet channels his insecurities into his rowing.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328182Collect samplesCOOK what do we got?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328182time to eat
>>328186"Well captain, we got...a tentacle"Roll 2d100 to determine it's edibleness0-9: food poisoning10-29: tastes like ass, but not in a good way30-69: edible, but nothing special, tastes kinda like chicken70-95: Delicious96-100: One of the best thing you'll ever eat, it's like there's an orgy in your mouth and everybody's invited, no homo
Rolled 70, 20 = 90 (2d100)>>328196Here we gooooooooooo
Rolled 13, 3 = 16 (2d100)>>328196It's gonna be full homo if it's as good as you say it is.
>>328201Oh god what the shit. THis tastes horrible. It's like one of the worst things you've ever tasted. Like a dead cat mixed with puke and topped with buffalo shit.On a positive note, it's great for stopping your drunkeness
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328209Add seasoning.
>>328211Nnnnnnoope, nope. Ketchup doesn't help either. Which is a shame, it always goes so well with your steaks.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328214Welp let's explore some cthluluh ruinsOld gods are always fun
>>328216There ain't no party like an eldritch party.
>>328216Exlporing some nearby ruins
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328219We search for loot
>>328224
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328228Roll some dice to see how much loot we get
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328228Roll some dice to decide if we eat good food.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328228RollBabeh
>>328229Rolling some dice
Rolled 35, 13 = 48 (2d100)>>328234ROLL!
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328234Attack from cult sub!
>>328235"Congrats, cap'n. You rolled a 13""Yo that shit's cheating"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328243check the loot detector
>>328244
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328255Throw dice at the screen
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328255It's a very lazy d20
>>328256
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328255Wait, I thought we were playing Sharks and Submarines?
Rolled 12, 31 = 43 (2d100)>>328259I'm rolling and you can't stop me
>>328261
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328263Smash the screen in rage
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328259All right, then, asshole, why don't YOU be the Dungeon Master tonight?!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328263Bloop, incoming enemy torpedo fromEnemy....
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328263Unplug the computer.
>>328267"OH FUCK!""CAPTAIN! TIME TO ENGAGE EVASIVE MANEUVERS!"
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328274WARP SPEED, STEVE, WARP SPEED
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328274SHOOT OUR OWN TORPEDO AT IT
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328274Ask the cook what to do!
Rolled 6 (1d6)>>328274Ram the torpedo
>>328280"AIMING AT INCOMING TORPEDOES, CAP'N!""FIRING ON YOUR COMMAND"Roll 2d1000-9: Terrible failure10-39: Failure40-89: Success90-100: Grrrrreat success
Rolled 58, 66 = 124 (2d100)>>328290STEADY, STEADY
>>328291"DIRECT HIT CAPTAIN!""ENEMY TORPEDOES ELIMINATED"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328295FIND THAT ENEMY VESSELWE'RE GOING TO DRILL THEM OPEN
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328295Who is this new enemy?! BETTER ASK THE COOK
>>328296"SENSORS INDICATE IT TO BE A MILITARY SUB, CAP'N"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328301CONTACT THEMI WANT TO SEE THEIR FACES
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328301HEY FUCK YOU WE ARE IN FREE WATERS
>>328306"HOLY SHIT THE SEA MOSNTER CONTACTED US"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328312WE'RE NOT A SEA MONSTERWE'RE AN INDEPENDENT SUB IN A SUBMARINE THAT JUST LOOKS LIKE A SEA MONSTERIT'S THE MOBY DICKWE COMMAND THE DICK
>>328314"Oh, well why didn't you say that in the first place? We almost blew you up. Oh well, no harm done, see ya"
>>328320...We find any loot yet?
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328320threat avertedget back to searching for waifus
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328320>>328322
>>328323
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328332go explore that white dot we saw on the radar earlier
>>328335No white dots here capn
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328338Let's keep diving then.
>>328338Fuck better look for some archeological findings....The cooks an archeologist right?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328340>>328338
>>328339Ah yes, you were investigating the ruins after all.You come accross a huge sunken temple. To the point that it can even house your sub
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328345Enter the ruins and put on the diving suits, we're going in to explore.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328345Find some probably important skeletons plotting something potentially apocalyptic.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328345LETS GO EXPLORING
>>328346Loading Sunken Temple stageNow you choose who goes out of the sub
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328355The Cap'n, Steve and the Cook.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328355>>328357
>>328357
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328365Have the cook tell us about the temple.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>328365Find some treasure and squid eggs
>>328366"Ah yes, frome these carvings I can deduce that this temple was once a place of worship for a cult. An ancient one that worships the deep dark abyss of the ocean and the old gods that inhabit it. Judging by the scriptures on the wall they want to become one with the ocean, and with their temple now down here, looks like they got their wish""Wow, how do you know all that?""I freelance as an archeologist. I go into ruins to find edible food sources""Doesn't that just make you a hobo though""Shut up Steve"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328376An ominous figure shows up behind us
>>328376Find skeletal remains
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328380>>328376
>>328379
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328385OH SHIT IT'S THE DEEP SEA POLICE
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328385QUICK, HIT IT WITH A RIGHT HOOK
>>328388"You're coming with me, criminal scum"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328393Shoot a harpoon at him!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328393You are outside your jurisdiction!>>328393
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328393HEY MAN WE AINT TRESPASIN
>>328395Fwoosh
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328406It deflects off his armor
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328406It nails him to a ruin, Continue exploring
>>328410ktonk
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328418Cop's hand transforms into harpoon gun
This is the best fucking thread.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328418Turn on your little girl decoyHe will surely chase after it
>>328422A harpoon gattling gun
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328427Stare in calm, accepting awe.
>>328437
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328427Squid eats cop
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328442>>328441
Rolled 3 (1d10)COP EATS SQUID
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>328444This
V works
>>328441Op still experiencing problems?
>>328443What squid
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328469arrest the cop
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328469The one behind the cop
>>328471How would that work
Rolled 2 (1d10)Seems we are going, guys.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328475International waters boy anything goes
>>328478"Which also means I can shoot all these harpoons up your ass"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328485Fire the Doritos!
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328485And that squid can eat you the one behind you!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328485Close-up for dramatic effect!
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328485ask Tyrone for tips on how to successfully resist arrest
>>328486
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328500Well, that didn't work.So, Plan B: Torpedoes.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328500Have get behind him and smash his bowl Helmut
>>328503
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328510Throw the cook
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328510Cook gets the coos helmet off to reveal a squid man
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328510the armor piercing ones
>>328510FUCK.Fuck this, just... just launch Chris Tucker at him.Or get your face so close it melts in the net of his helmet; and say "sorry".
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328517Details
>>328516
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328522You running out of ideas huh...Fine.. gradually run for it!
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328522open his helm and deck him
>>328522Smile at him.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328522the ass tasting tentacles
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>328525
>>328523"Yo, das a good idea cap'n" said Tyrone, who undoubtedly has lots of experience in running away form the police
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>328530start running back to your sub
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328530Scream in absolute terror as you run the FUCK away.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328530Suddenly a shark
>>328533
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328538you reach yo sub
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>328538Pull the sub around we leaving!
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>328538Cop's partner, Cop 2 was behind you the whole time. Also a deepsea Paladin
>>328543
>>328547He takes off the mask.
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>328547get back in the sub and flee
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>328548FUCK
>>328552He revealsanother mask
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>328554HOLY FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKIt's your lost brother!!
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>328554Sub lands on top of deep pally and we make our escape.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>328554Deapsea holy lazer!
>>328556Whoops, gotta get dinner, be back in about 2 hours or so
>>328559Tnks for running, was awesome!
>>328559Thanks NaP
Oh jeez, a full stomach is making me wayyyy sleepy
>>328610you will get fat(ter) if you submit to what russkies call the pig illness.
>>328615Too late, I'm already in bed.Remember me as a hero.
>>328617dont do it, /fit will molest you for bulking improperly.
>>328619I'm already too far gone, save yourself
>>328622your ass mang, your ass.
>>328622Listen to>>328619and get your pretty, shining, spherical ass moving.
>>328622Good night sweet Jew
Well you escaped the ruins and the police, probably.Wut now?
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>334939VODKA
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>334939Punch self in face
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>334939Go find a mermaid waifu.
>>334942"Aye captain, searching..."
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>334943you found super robot pilot instead as a easter egg
>>334943Yo find on
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>334943>>334945*one
>>334944swim swim
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>334947take him aboard
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>334947Plot happens
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>334947Waifu detected!But wait, it's too big. Like, really big.
>>334949Suddenly,An ancient Evil Awakens
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>334953Pray to cthulhu for help
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>334953it's so ancient that it dies from one torpedo launchI mean really. we have the technology, what ancient pile of shit going to do?fart?
Rolled 5 (1d10)Look at it on the radio.
>>334954Damn, he's not answering
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>334958Send in a probe, also punch self in faceTradition people!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>334958super robot pilot punches shit out of ancient evil while swimming by
>>334959Probe launched
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>334962It explodes.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>334962Mr. Cook what does the prove say?
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>334962Not that kind of probe, rhe anal probe
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>334962do an alien probing sequience
>>334963Well that didn't do much
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>334968Hol up, maybe this guy comes in peace. Let's hear what he has to say.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>334968Send in another one, a non explode one
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>334968Aight then, we rush STRAIGHTTOTHEEYE
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>334968RAM THAT FAGGOTTROMBEEE
>>334969
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>334974Engange in evasive manoeuvres
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>334974DO THE BARREL ROLL
>>334976"Aight captain"Engaging Evasive ManeuversRoll 2d100 for results. As always, first dice is the picking, second is the results0-9: terrible10-29: bad30-79: okay80-100: great
Rolled 74, 46 = 120 (2d100)>>334978BARREL ROLLS
Rolled 20, 59 = 79 (2d100)>>334978inb4 100 and 1
Rolled 13, 61 = 74 (2d100)>>334978
>>334979Dodge succesful
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>334983DRILL RAM INTO ANCIENT EVILTROMBEEEEEEEEEEEhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aK8hI9AfRE8
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>334983Shoot vodka at it
>>334984"Activating drill""Engaging Ramming speed""We ram on your command captain"Roll2d100 for results0-9: extreme failure10-49: failure50-89: success90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 100, 51 = 151 (2d100)>>334987TROOOOMBEEEEEE
Rolled 9, 54 = 63 (2d100)>>334987OH GOD
>>334988hory shieet
>>334988"Juuuuuuust about made it""We got its shoulder!"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>334991check enemy hitpoints
>>334992huh
>>334995check our special abilities which we can use as commander of submarine.
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>334995Check your sub hp
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>334996fug
>>334997
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335000check your special abilities as a captain
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335000Check this trips
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>334995drill it again!
>>335005USE YOUR LASER BEAMU!
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335008
>>335007"DRILL READY!""ATTACK ON YOUR COMMAND, CAPTAIN"Roll2d100 for results0-9: extreme failure10-59: failure60-89: success90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 6, 51 = 57 (2d100)>>335011TROOOOOMBEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 46, 64 = 110 (2d100)>>335011BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU
Rolled 62, 94 = 156 (2d100)>>335011This drill is the drill that will pierce the Heavens!
Rolled 49, 75 = 124 (2d100)>>335011
>>335015"DIRECT HIT""WE DRILLED OFF ITS LEFT ARM"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335020ancient evil explodes behind the submarineclassic
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335020Finish him off using your special attack!
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335020Finish him off with your ULTIMATE ATTACK!
>>335023"OPENING UP DRILL""ENGAGING BEAMHORN""FIRE ON YOUR COMMAND CAPTAIN"Roll2d100 for results0-9: extreme failure10-59: failure60-89: success90-100: ggreat success
Rolled 32, 11 = 43 (2d100)>>335025
Rolled 69, 69 = 138 (2d100)>>335025TRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 41, 81 = 122 (2d100)>>335025SPIRAL POWERS ACTIVATE
>>335027SIX NINE, SIX NINEOH SHIT
>>335027"WE GOT 'IM""RIGHT THROUGH THE CHEST!"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335032Loot it
>>335027
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335032Sweet loot it
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335032Now exploding scene behind our submarinegive some fanservice, will ya?those rolls deserved it
>>335033Sending out divers to loot Ancient Evil
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335038you find a mysterious device which lets you transform into giant robotobviouslyalso 10 gold coins
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335038You find some phat loot and a treasure map.
Rolled (1d0)>>335038you find fanservice
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335038Make sure to bring your ancient god disinfectant. Lord knows what's this things been in
>>335041"Well captain, we looted the thing, and find an energy cannon, in the eye of the "ancient evil"""Yea nigga, dis ancient evil aint ancient at all! In fact it's actually fairly recent and looks to be artificial"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335048Mount this to my hull it will be sweet to shoot fucked with it
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335048EQUIP ALL THE THINGS
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335048mount that energy cannon to our ship
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335051>>335050>>335049All of this
>>335050Energy cannon equipped. It even goes into a seperate compartment so it can stay inside when not firing.Totally not an excuse for me to be lazy, no no no
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335053Can we paint our sub yellow, I feel it needs to be yellow
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335053>>335055with red and black partsand call it Trombe
>>335055
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335059Any luck with the waifufinder?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335059add black painta bitalso how do you paint underwater
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335059We all live in a yellow submarineA yellow submarine A yellow submarine
>>335061"the black paint are the outlines. also super future underwater paint, lmao" said the OP fish
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335063at least paint drill in red, cheapstake
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335063Dive mister Steve dive!
>>335064"Ah yes, the MC Donalds color scheme"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335067go
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335067that's a good camouflagewe also can sell those special burgers our cook can make
>>335068"Now why would someone build a robot pretending to be an ancient evil""And why was it down here"
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335073Who cares, go look for a waifu again. Maybe we will find the answer that way
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335073make the drill able to shoot ketchup.mcdonals all the way
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335073Commies
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335073from the remainings of ancient evil robot shows super robot pilot shows updun dun DUN
>>335077MEANWHILE, IN COMMIELAND"Greetings comrade, did you build a giant robot and made it look like an ancient evil and then stuck it in the bottom of the ocean inside some ancient ruins?""No I haven't comrade""Ah okay, just asking, comrade. Death to america""Yes comrade, screw murrica"[Communist laughter]
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335080Go check our radar
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335080now show tho actually built itancient commies
>>335080Mean while the Russians make a quick Russian dance escape from the anger middle class.
>>335080plot twist, the ancient evil build the commies
>>335082
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335085
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335086OK then what's that? Is that ship wreckage?
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335086who coded this shit of bort computer AI anyway
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335086Go find a sea urchin to fuck
>>335090I just laughed, I totally forgot about that
>>335090
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335093it searches via google
>>335094
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335093I see some over by that sunken pirate ship
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335095activate waifu radar
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335095safe search offgo go go
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335095>>335096This damn loading time
>>335098
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335103you find walrus
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335103find waifu
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335103Shark attack
>>335107Welp gotta leave for a bit, be back in 2 hoursWill not quite like last time, promis
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335109RIP in pieceyou shall be remembered
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335109yes we find waifu
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335109COME ON NIGGA
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335109I'll roll tooo!
Rolled 82184, 41266, 53281, 68292, 47113, 34037, 7348, 68244, 14665, 63986, 92778, 4268, 88347, 10879, 55834, 38385, 62829, 8311, 25355, 11313, 19348, 1525, 94902, 66867, 9954 = 1071311 (25d100000)>>335109
Alright, who's still here
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335181you bet your ass i am.also find waifus
>>335183
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335186404 waifus not found
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335186THESE WAIFUSand whip out waifus
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335186ALL OF EM
>>335187
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335197lets look for the wreck of the titanicmaybe we can find the bones of that fag from the movie or something
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335197Look for the fabled fuck clam
>>335201"Wonder when he's gonna figure it out" mumbled Steve to Wilson
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335204Disengage computer, go use the loo
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335204>>335198
>>335206
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335209its getting stuffy in here lets crack a window open a little bit
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335209And the results are in!They're right next to you!
>>335212Cracked open a window
>>335215look a sea hag
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335215>>335218forgot roll
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335215Suddenly deep sea commie attack!
>>335220
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335224eat it to gain its powers
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335224Including her guard of colossal squids.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335224She turns you all into ducks
>>335228Oh shit, magic zapper beamRoll 2d100 to engage evasive maneuvers0-9: extreme failure10-19: terrible failure20-29: failure30-100: success
Rolled 16, 33 = 49 (2d100)>>335233
Rolled 48, 81 = 129 (2d100)>>335233
Rolled 58, 54 = 112 (2d100)>>335233ducks here we come
>>335234woop
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335244Uh oh, you evaded too high, you continue evading upwards all the way out of the water
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335244Dive into the beamramming speed
>>335249"But that's retarded, captain"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335251I wanna become one of natures asshole rapists just do it
>>335257Steve continues to stare at you judgingly
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335263corkscrewPenises
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335263Do ir or you're not getting payed.
>>335264[continued judging stare]
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335268throw steve outside into the sharks
>>335268dice+1d10Are you OK Steve? Do you have brain damage or something?Roll to slap Steve.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335268Fine I'll do it myself
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335271I'll get the hang of this yet. Rolling to slap Steve to awareness.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335268eat steve and absorb his soul to get his judgement power.
>>335269[continued judging stare while fighting a shark]
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335280promote chef to first matelets go find that duck beam again and realise our dreams
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335280The rest of the crew see this and mutiny.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335280Steve kills the shark and brings the meat for us to eat.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335280He kills the shark and you have it for dinner
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335280steve kills the shark and returns to the ship
>>335285"I dunno captain. your dream does sound pretty retarded"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335300The crew mutiny so they dont have to follow a retarded captain
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335300Alright, let's start small then. I want to hijack another submarine. Let's steal one from the corporation.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335300you wanna join the fish as welljust listen to me and do it
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335300This is mutiny!eat the cook and absorb his soul for his Common Sense powers
>>335304"Aye, let's go find one"
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335319Bring Steve and is wife back aboard before we cast off.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335319wait why does Steve get a waifu...
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335319ask steve where he found the waifu.
>>335321"what wife"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335326The shark you married
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335326back to the sharks with you
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335326The qt shark girl you met loverbird.Ah whatever, time to Grand Theft Submarine.
>>335331"Oh, her. I just married her so she would lead me back to the secret shark people home so i can murder all of them. Which I did. Anyway, back to work"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335337Did you bring their loot?
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335337wow what a gay
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335337why do you have a crown?
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335337I hope you brought the fins back for soup.
>>335343"I killed the shark king so by shark law I'm the shark king now"
>>335346Can you summon sharks? That can be handy.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335346Just to make sure you aren't a shark in disguise I'll have the cook test you.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335346And if I'm captain of the Shark King then that makes me... the Shark Emperor
>>335350"Yep, he's still just Steve"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335358Huh. Found a ship to hijack yet? If not go find one.
>>335361AND NOW. THE CORPORATE SUB YOU FOUND IS...Roll 2d100 to find out0-65: You found no subs66-75: a Cruise-class sub76-85: a Profiteer-class sub86-95: a Infiltrator-class sub96-100: Super duper secret sub that's hidden from the current image
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335358What does being shark king grant you?
Rolled 56, 13 = 69 (2d100)>>335368supet duper seceret pls
Rolled 93, 35 = 128 (2d100)>>335368
Rolled 16, 90 = 106 (2d100)>>335368better be secret sub
>>335374"Welp, we got nothing"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335386Go look for a military ship to steal.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335386If you look closely there's a big green swirling line going around and around in front of, according to the monitor.
>>335386Recalibrate and try again.
>>335394Forgot the roll.
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335398gah roll roll roll
>>335389Roll 2d100 to find out what you...find0-65: You found no subs66-75: a El Generico-class sub76-85: a W-8-class sub86-95: a Wrecker-class sub96-100: Super duper secret sub that's hidden from the current image
Rolled 46, 82 = 128 (2d100)>>335402We're gonna make it brah.
NOBODY ROLL ANYTHINGwe getting wrecker sub boiiii
Rolled 7, 80 = 87 (2d100)>>335402>t
>>335408Beep"Ah wait, we got something. Seems to be a military vessel, a W-8 class. Those tend to be heavily armored and equiped with lots of weapons. If the military is sending those down here then there must be something they want to destroy."
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335425It's probably us. Send Steve on a steal mission to infiltrate and kill their captain.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335425ram it
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335425What they want to destroy, is you
>>335428I meant to say "stealth" but we are stealing a sub.
>>335430"Engaging Drill"Roll 2d100 for ramming results0-29: terrible30-79: bad80-95: okay96-100: good
Rolled 82, 63 = 145 (2d100)>>335443
Rolled 38, 25 = 63 (2d100)>>335443Rolling to embed and attach to the military submarine.
>>335444Ah fuck, they shot a torpedo and blown you off course
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335453Board their bridge
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335453You accidentally ram a giant squid instead
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335453>>335454Rolling to unsheathe your captain's sabre and duel their captain.
>>335454"WE CAN'T GET CLOSE ENOUGH FOR THAT, CAPTAIN! AND NOW THEY HAVE A LOCK ON US! THOSE BASTARDS ARE GOING TO RETURN FIRE!"
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335464RAM THEIR BRIDGE
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335464Tape a piece of paper over the warning, that will fix the problem
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335464RAMTHEBRIDGE
>>335466Ramming bridge while having torpedoes launched at youRoll 2d100 for ramming results0-29: terrible30-79: bad80-95: okay96-100: good
Rolled 16, 58 = 74 (2d100)>>335475
Rolled 89, 68 = 157 (2d100)>>335475
>>335478"AH FUCK""THEY GOT OUR ENGINES"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335490Aren't our engines just one midget rowing really hard?Did he died?
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335490Activate the laser cannon we found!
>>335492No but he is knocked out
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335500SAVE THE MIDGET FROM THE FIRES!
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335500Taunt them to firing another rocket to boost your speed forward and causing you to ram them
>>335504"I"LL SAVE HIM!" Yelled Dan - voted "Most likely to die for cheap drama", as he jumped into the burning engine room
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335513And then he saved him perfectly and didn't die, weird
>>335518"Manlet rescued, captain"
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335528While this was happening you got hit by multiple torpedos.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335528good work, now we can all die together
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335528he then gets a heart attack from the excitement, and the captain and dan have a tear jerking moment while cook sets up a way to save him
>>335534no...dan....no...please..live...
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335537Once you look out the bridge you notice your ship is cover in holes from torpedos.
>>335280THAT STARE
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335537you look out the window, and see sharks crying for dan.
>>335540
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335549Summon all your might and power the sub with your rage
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335549TIME TO FIX THE SHIPBRING THE "CARLOS" FROM THE BASEMENT!
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335548>>335534rngesus smiles upon my drama>>335549the water fills up the submarine and sinks to the bottom as dan fights for his life to survive
>>335553
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335567OH FUCKMEGA RAM TIME NOWLOCK ON
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335567YOUR TO ANGRY, THE SHIP CANT HANDLE THIS POWER!!!
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335570MEGA RAM ACTIVATEHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
OH GOD YES
>>335570Roll 2d100 for results0-19: terrible failure20-49: failure50-79: success80-100" mgreat success
Rolled 59, 15 = 74 (2d100)>>335588
Rolled 71, 97 = 168 (2d100)>>335588
Rolled 72, 37 = 109 (2d100)>>335588TROOOOOMBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Rolled 2, 93 = 95 (2d100)>>335588FULL SPEED RAM!HAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
>>335592NOOOOOPage refreshed after I clicked send!!!
>>335594rip
Rolled 39, 47 = 86 (2d100)AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>>335594Sadly, your Rage Drill was foiledBy the W-8 moving slightly to the leftYour sub is now stuck to some rocks
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335606back slowly to the place you were before you rage drilled, the do it over again.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335606Get out and ride the walks like the pioneers used to do way back when
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335606those are no rocks...IT'S A HIDDEN CITY OF ATLANTIS
>>335613"Okay, backing up, backing up...""Aaaaanyyyy minute now""Crap"
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335625Get absorbed by the rocks and wind up somewhere ~mysterious~
>>335631A ~mysterious~ placeWITH NO LIGHT OOGA BOOGA BOOGA
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335634Suddenly lights appear and you see you're in the magical lands of the anons.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335634turn on the light thenit's a city of ATLANTIS
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>3356345 hours later
>>335638"your waifu is shit"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335646They're giant and you're tiny
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335646start throwing punches
>>335646A hoard of r9k anons appear looking angry
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335646send out Steve
>>335649"lmao he thinks he can actually punch us"">implying you're not a faggot"
>>335655why is the sub not yellow
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335655Head deeper into the mystery zone and find a caverns made out of mystery boxes
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335655send out Steveto gather resources
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335655Pray to the dark alleyway god to save you from this hell.
>>335662Man, he's not answering, wonder why....MEANWHILE, IN THE REALM OF THE DARK GOD OF THE ALLEY"Man, i should really remember to charge my phone"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335667Good, screw that guy anywaysend out Steve outside to gather materials to upgrade your submarinemeanwhile cook the dinner with cook
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335667right then, I guess just keep wandering around until you hit something
>>335670"Alright captain, you can start by chopping this carrot"Roll 2d100 to chop carrot0-19: impossibly terrible failure20-39: terrible failure40-69: failure70-89: success90-100: great success
Rolled 27, 5 = 32 (2d100)>>335678
Rolled 8, 92 = 100 (2d100)>>335678FEAR MY COOKING SKILLSTROOMBE
Rolled 76, 83 = 159 (2d100)>>335678
Rolled 89, 86 = 175 (2d100)>>335678
>>335682"Thanks captain, now can you use the stove and heat up a pot of water for me?"Roll 2d100 to boil water0-19: impossibly terrible failure20-39: terrible failure40-69: failure70-89: success90-100: great success
Rolled 76, 93 = 169 (2d100)>>335692CHESTOOOOO
>>335695"Ah, so you boiled a pot of plain water so good, you somewhow turned it into broth. Okay."
Rolled 7 (1d10)Put your face in it.
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335705Make delicious meal for all your crew!
>>335709"You're doing great so far, captain. Now chop up this fish. Careful though, it's poisonous"Roll 2d100 to boil water0-19: impossibly terrible failure20-49: terrible failure50-69: failure70-89: success90-100: great success
Rolled 42, 52 = 94 (2d100)>>335716IGUZO, TUROOOMBEEEEE
>>335718Oh fuck, you weren't careful and touched one of its poisonous spikes! You are now unconcious
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335722THIS IS NOTHING WHICH YOU CAN'T CURE THRU SHEER WILLPOWER AND HOTBLOODNESS
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335722cook wakes us up from our fever dream
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335722Wake up captured by the military
Rolled 2 (1d10)RAGE WAKES YOU UP
>>335726And he did it...by feeding you one of the tentacles again.Oh god, it tastes even worse than you remembered, it's like somebody took the smell of old clothing that have been accidentally left in the wash for a week and somehow made it into a taste
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335732go read a cooking book to improve your cooking skill
>>335732what happened during my fever dream?
>>335736apple won it all
>>335735Roll 2d100 to read book0-19: impossibly terrible failure20-49: terrible failure50-69: failure70-89: success90-100: great success
Rolled 10, 81 = 91 (2d100)>>335747
Rolled 58, 80 = 138 (2d100)>>335747
Rolled 31, 50 = 81 (2d100)>>335747CHESTOOOOOOOOOO
>>335750Cooking skill +1
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335754Remember that steve was still having a heart attack then check if he's still alive.
>>335756"No I wasn't"
>>335759check Steve's stats
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335759>>335761dang it
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335759Remember it was dan
>>335762Yep, those are his stats
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335767He seems to have caught a gay
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335767Check how everyones health is
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>335767how good they are based on your jaw location
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335767Oh shit look some plot!
>>335772Quiet satan
>>335774never....
>>335770
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335777why our crew has almost same HP as submarine?I smell ruse
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335777You forgot to include the heart attack debuff on dan.
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335777then the ship runs a ground in a mermaid secret cove!
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335782ALRIGHT GUYS, WE CAME FOR WAIFUS
>>335781Nah, the heart attack issue was resolved a long time ago. WHile you were unconcious.
>>335784No waifus 4evarUnless you are Lolisniffer
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335790Also. Plot
>>3357801 Submarine HP = 1000 human HP
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335790two plotsbig roundy plots
>>335793"Oh yeah, forgot to mention. We've been captured. And the Moby Dick has been taken away into their storage"
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335804but what about dinner?that broth was nice
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335804They send you to deep sea prison
>>335808"Oh yeah...about that....yeeeeaaaaaah....They kinda dumped your whole pot of broth down the sink. Apprently it wasn't to their liking, too much salt or something"
Rolled 9 (1d10)nigger
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335812They also confescated everything below the waist. Tyrone is being set up for execution because of....discoveries.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335812this just got personalbreak yourself free cause of RAGE
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335812RAGE AS HARD AS THE GREATEST BARBARIAN AND FIND WHO DID IT!
>>335820"I dunno captain, that game was pretty shit""Yeah, "Megatextures", pffft"
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335823RAGE ANYWAYTHAT WAS NICE BROTH GODDAMIT
Rolled 6 (1d10)>>335823Just rage.
>>335829"Well yeah, just by itself, the game was pretty crappy, man.""Indeed, nothing but a mediocre FPS""I dunno guys, aren't you being a little hard on it? It's actually a pretty decent game"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335831become extremely upset about lost broth to the point being heavily angered by culprits which leds to increasing your physical ability which lets you break free from your shackles and free your crew.
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>335831While the military is bickering over the game tyrone frees the crew with his skills.
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>335831It wasn't good. Seriously, nostalgia is a filthy mirror sometimes.
>>335834"Take those nostalgia goggles off, Dan. RAGE was at best, meh""Awww c'mon, RAGE was good back then and it's still good now....Unlike some other game...*cough*DOOM*cough*...""I will murder your entire family and leaving only you left alive so you'll have to live with the pain"
Rolled 7 (1d10)>>335844Duke Nukem Forever was alright
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335844That guy behind you is dans father and you use your rage to kill him
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335844>insulted DOOMAight. Aight.Punch his face so hard it swallows reality.
>>335849Your crew looks at you with various degrees of pity and disappointment
>>335856beat the shit out of dan for even suggesting DOOM is bad.
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335856now that I have your attentionlet's break free and murder those who stand in our way?please?
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>335856The military comes and brainwashes your crew, as a side effect they dont remember you saying duke nukem was good.
>>335856Of course, >>335849 is just joking. Liking dnf would make a rift in reality.
>>335861"Aye aye, captain"
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335873lead the attack!CHEESTOOOoh wait, Steve already killed everyone
Rolled 9 (1d10)>>335873They realize their cell had cameras and now the military are in alert phase.
>>335879"ALERT! ALERT! THE PRISONERS HAVE ESCAPED!"wuh oh, they're coming to get you!And they willIn another time because thread will now again put on hold for now. Will cotinue later. Again. See ya.
Rolled 10 (1d10)>>335885rip op will be remember
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>335885DEM CLIFFHANGERSBUT WHAT ABOUT THE BROTH
Great thred is great.
>>335890The broth is gone.The fascist military threw it out the airlock.
Rolled 5 (1d10)>>335885Huff some paint to become golden.>If you're golden, nothing could stop you.
>>335889
Rolled 4 (1d10)>>337770WE MUST SAFE BROTH
>>337771"The broth's gone, captain. Gooooone"
Rolled 8 (1d10)>>337773I REFUSE TO BELIEVE ITIT WAS NICE BROTH
>>337775"Yes it was. And now it's sewage"
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>337776What about the military?
Rolled 2 (1d10)>>337776where did flashin alarm gone btw
>>337779"Oh they're right outside this door. I've managed to wreck its controls to stop it from opening but it won't hold them for long"
