You are a blunder. No I mean a Blunder. Little orange things (people?) who tend to make a mess of everything involving them. You, however, are in jail. Well, it's less jail and more a room with a trapdoor that is hard to reach and open. It's difficult finding any legit jail-space in Blunder society these days, given the lack of funding (and hats) to even manage it proper.Thing is, why are you in jail?Destruction of private and public propertyMaking friends with adventurersYou're a Blunder, and another Blunder noticed this (for shame!)I don't know if any of this formatting will work proper. Anywho, whichever of the three colors is closest to the ID color of the first person to reply to this determines the reason. Post suggestions for what to do. (Escaping jail is the best option, given that there's no food and you won't get any hand-outs in here)
>>399926>Destruction of private and public propertyI threw a guy through his own window and he knocked over a trashcan which made it roll into the lake and sink.
>>399926Push the table on the right to underneath the trapdoor, then climb out from it.
>>399930That's right! Smug bastard thought he had such a nice window and trashcan that it caused your blood to boil. Good thing you dealt with all three with a single throw. You kick over the basin next to you and give yourself a small nostalgic chuckle.
>>399932Looks like you're just a smidge too short to reach. Let alone you'd need something to pop the latch on the other side. Ugh, that stuff in the basin smells a bit. The hell was in that?
>>399948Woop! That's what you get for such a precarious manner. Good thing you caught yourself with your brute strength before you hit the floor.Well, what do?
>>399964Pull the candlestick to open the secret door. Oldest trick in the book
>>399970Yeah that sounds about right. Well it would, if you read a book. Do you even know how to read? Wait no this isn't the time to contemplate these things. You pull the candle and...It pops off of the sconce easily. Aw yeah you got yourself a candle! That was the reason for interacting with it right? You wanted the candle, and now you got it. (Feels good to be a Blunder)Okay now that you've got a candle, what next?
burn yourself with the candle.
>>399978I dont know why we have a candle, bur we are a Blunder. Put the candle up to the lock on the hatch.
>>400007Well it did burn for a little bit. Then the wax cooled.
>>399978Is that a picture on the back wall? Take it off; there's probably something behind it.
>>400011Just a bit out of reach still.
>>400018That picture reminds you of the smug bastard. You tear it a new one to find a Jimmie behind it. Wow, it fits snug into that hole in the wall. Can't get rustled like that now can it.
>>400036Enough oggling the Jimmie. You take it in hand. Aw yes, the cold iron feels great in your hand. Makes you want to hit things proper that's for sure.What are you going to hit first?
>>400069>Hit wall>Try to walk through wall>Repeat
>>400078You don't know how long it's been, but your arm is tired and the hole is only barely bigger. Could have been hours. Could have been minutes. Might have been just one or two swings. Who cares? You sure don't.Should probably think of something better to waste your time with.
>>400087Let's get back on the stool and smash the trapdoor.
>>400092Well it looks like you suck at smashing things but instead you got a good hook on the trapdoor...
>>400105Up and out we go!
>>400105>>400106Success! Now you've managed to open up your cell door and... are... now just in a bigger room? Wait was this the bathroom for your cell? Ugh gross. How were you suppose to even get out of it when you were done?
>>400107Hey look, another door!And another candle
>>400107Use the chair as a stepping stone to get from the left side to the right side, then open the door and leave the room.
>>400107Take that bottle and pull the candle
>>400110Ah yes, good to see.>>400159>>400171You feel more confident now with a lit candlestick headgear and something to bash something with if it needs to go down that way. (It always needs to go down that way)Now you just stand at the door, bracing yourself for what is about to come next.Getting food and doing life stuff.
>>400184Open the door
>>400448Get on the floor
>>400455Everybody walk the dinosaur?
>>400594Paint a buffalo on the wall with the candlestick, you never know...
>>400448>>400455>>400594These all sounded much better in your head. Oh shit it's a 'bold! The hell is one doing down here?>>400865The candle fell off of your head during the fall. It's alright though, just a bit winded. Should be fine in a little bit.
>>403690Fail to resist the urge to bludgeon the 'bold to death. Miss.
>>403728Everything done according to plan.>Writer's note: plan means 'keikaku'The 'bold pops the cork and sips from the bottle, giving a moment to show their appreciation for the benevolent gesture."Well since you did something nice for me, I can do something nice for you? I'm not good for fighting, but if you have a need for speed I can move really fast. That or carry your things for you if I'm not carrying you."Well it looks like you've acquired an ally! Now you just need a means to get past that guard. The one in the headband just waiting for you like some honor-bound chump of a blunder. *AHEM* I meant Blunder
>>403773In a sudden explosion of competence beat the guard to death with the chair.
>>403779That's a really good idea!One that relied entirely on the guard to be less competent than you could muster in this very moment.[Cont.]
>>403800MC: Regret nothing'Bold: regret everything Guard: move in a way that Blunders where never meant to move.Joints: sprain.
>>403800[Continued]Holy crap what happened? Who is this Blunder? (More importantly: where do you get that headband?)>>403818Oh okay you have a good ghist of what's going on. Feel free to take it from here then. (No don't really, I need this job to feed my family)
>>403824Note to self: this is not a joke thread.Serious time. Throw skulls at Kung fu guy, and get ready to duck into the bath room.
>>403835In all honesty this entire thread is a joke taken too far.In the meantime, this Blunder is incredibly competent with punching things to bits.
>>403861Brilliant plan!: throw the chamber pot. Be sure to get some filth in there.
>>403909Making a right mess of this blunder alright!
>>403924Quick! While he's distracted! Double team him with 'boldbro
>>403958Success! The guard has been defeated! You feel a sense of camaraderie between yourself and the 'bold grow just a smidge.See you, 'bold Blunder.
>>403982Sweet head band get! And proceed carefully.
>>403982OP, your art entertains me very much.
>>403982Use a chair like the metal gear box and start walking in it onwards
>>403986You can feel the power of the headband flow through you, and penetrate your skin with it's stench! You feel your hands bolster in strength and your legs swell with muscle with the empowerment of martial arts.>>404139Well you can't really manage to think of a metal gear box, but you nudge the chair along and hide behind it. That's close enough right? 'boldbro follows along, still holding that bottle for you.>>404055Aw thanks anon! I appreciate you too.
>>405459Or do a thingI didn't know we were waiting for input
>>405459Do some sweet wall jumps to climb that upward passage!
>>405459I'm sure there are enough chairs and tables to construct a primitive ladder.
Looks like this was a pretty amazing thread. Shame I got here too late. Hopefully OP returns sometime.
>>408761I'm here, just working on a different project. This quest is more for relaxing between projects and work.
>>408786I know that feel OP
>>407159>>407191>>407551Yes! Perfect plan![Cont.]
>>408892FUCKLooks like your headband helps with the violence and not so much with the badass moves.
Maybe ask our ally to give us a boost?
>>407666That would take a while to manage. I mean, on top of all the chairs, tables, and somehow moving them into position you would also need to not fuck it up in the process.Oh but the 'bold looks to have a plan. You can see it somewhere within the twinkle of it's eye.>>408734Who's the jester? Is it you? Do you jest?
>>408900Give the bold a treat and ask what's his plan.
>>408901You offer it the beverage in its hand, to which it downs in a single chug before placing the cork back within it, and setting it gingerly upon the floor.>>408899This is the plan. You feel majestic and hold a sense of solemn remorse for the lack of wind to accentuate this moment.
>>408904Alright making some headwa-https://youtu.be/-Tdu4uKSZ3M?t=28
Oh shit, I wonder if Blunder's two fists will be enough to fight through these guys.
>>408912"Sup fellas, I come bearing news that the prisoner has escaped! This 'bold here is willing to help me for good behavior points... did you guys see him?"Remember, we're still wearing kungfuBlunder's bandana. We can sneeki breeki!
>>408925>>408928You've never been one to mince words, and don't even know how to cook that and there's the problem that you look nothing like that kung-fu Blunder that you totally wrecked.Well, now the element of surprise is gone. Going to have to do this the hard way.
>>408933Can we jump back down and get that bottle as a weapon?
>>408933Bro jumps on top of the first guy super mario and yoshi style. Then our hero jumps off of Bro and lands on the next guy. Two defeated!
>>408933Awww skeet skeet skeet, jump back down! See if these Blunders will blunder into some falling damage chasing us.
>>408933Claim to be the guard from downstairs and justify the presence of the 'bold by saying that you are in the process of subjugating the prisoners..
>>408933>>408974oh whoops disregard this
>>408912>https://youtu.be/-Tdu4uKSZ3M?t=28 [Remove]What an amazing meme, you meme loving fuck. Goddamnit.
>>408961>>408989Looks to be working out rather well!>>408936>>408973That almost sounds like a good idea but there's something you can't quite put your finger on that seems off. Oh right, you don't want anyone outside of this room to know you're escaping.That and why pass up the opportunity to hit things?
>>412298Grab the weapon of the guard you've dispatched and have the kobold do the same.Then bum rush the Blunder at the back before the other two guards can react and hack him up before he can inform anyone else.Then it's a two on two fight, baby.
>>412391Grab the weps, but backflip over the guards b4 the bumrush - see if we can knock them right off that cliff
>>412298Throw body of their comrade at them. Demoralize!
>>412391>>412397>>412485Now you're talking!
>>412560Shove the blunder in front of us into them. Hopefully, it'll destabilise them.
>>412565Brilliant!Looks like your 'bold friend plans to skewer the group. Nice!
>>412587You're pretty sure you won't ever see something so magnificent as this again.
>>412597Let's rush through the gore and go through the door.
>>412597go through door
>>412614>>412633You've found the exit! However, you feel as if you have forgotten something important.
>>412663Let's grab his sword arm and stab him in the side.Poor guards.
>>412711You do the next best thing, given the lack of your stabbable armaments.
>>412730Bottle first, then exit
>>412730>>412840Bring a chair, too. You never know when you might need a chair.
>>412924>>412840>>412730Oh, and that axe, priority levels, bottle, axe, then chair.
>>412950And that candle.
>>413221Well yeah, but it doesn't weigh enough to register on the priority level.
>>412924>>412950>>413221>>414155It took some juggling and teamwork, but between yourself and the 'bold you both managed to get the bottle, chair, and keep the axe in hand.
>>415619Now we escape! Through the door! Into the sunlight!
>>415619>Forgetting that candle on the floor
>>415619Leave chairGrab candleLeave
>>415774>>416505>>420007>>420118That chair is much too important, and also you remembered the candle fits nicely on your head.Onward, into the light!
>>426611Well that was definitely unexpected. A good thing you played dead to save your skin.A shame you're covered in piss and your headwear is now a toilet.So, what's the plan?
>>426658After that criminal!First, definitely first, take the toilet off our head.Then pile up the furniture in the right of the room, climb it and jump left to grab the platform.
>>426659You always were the more resourceful blunder you knew. Damn, and you just earned that headband a few days ago. It doesn't even do anything, but it was yours.That's what counts.
>>426665Let's pick up that axe and go through the door.
>>426669That's something similar to what you were thinking, but since you know that you'll be in a fight that's two against one you're going to need some protection and know how to get some. This will be only a minute.
>>426677You craft the Hinge shield. It's very flexible in terms of offense and defense, with the handle being part of the trap door's contraption it allows rapid readjustment even while in the middle of combat.It's a design you've been waiting to test for the longest time, but never got your hands on a Chopper until today.
>>426677Are you asking for an action?
>>426682Now that we're geared up, let's go through the door.
>>426685Couldn't have said it better yourself.The chase begins. Next time... ON BLUNDER QUEST!I'm still messing around with the next map so please be patient.
>>426688No worries; take a break if you want to as well. You should probably archive this thread on sup/tg/ today, by the way.
>>426691No clue how to do that. Is it intuitive so long as I just... read?
>>426693http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/requestqstinterface.htmlIt's really simple. Just fill in the form, make sure to put the name of the quest in the tags, and press the "Go!" button.