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File: NaziExperimentQuest.jpg (75 KB, 400x400)
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Character Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1dbHfLvUNQVM4qsomLlvpMOEWO7IDEf1fmC1ICYzJBdA/edit

Nation Sheet: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GFg53X7fF0KailEzfueGS3yzk_N1ufPdcEzxdla3mMQ/edit?usp=sharing

Twitter: QuestingQM

Last time on Nazi Experimental Quest, we went on a picnic with Ivanka, got a human cannibal pet, invented cubed beef with Karkmann, stole a piglet and are determined to find out how to give an animal lycanthropy, for a wolf-pig, and we successfully driven off the soviets.

The picnic finishes up soon, as the two of you are positively stuffed with cubed beef, and begin to head back home. The two of you fall asleep on the bed and pass out, while Kutyovka watches. However, your family is all... Well, your family isn't killing each other.

Actions.

>...Maybe you can get the piglet to rest on your bed somehow? Pigs are smart, after all.
>...Nah, get Kutyvoka to get in the bed, most specifically the middle for maximum cuddling.
>Ask Ivanka a "hypothetical" question regarding your piglet and her stomach. Hopefully she doesn't want to eat it.
>You know, what exactly happens if you infect Kutyvoka? You did make her a cannibal, after all.
>Go to sleep.
>Write-In
>>
>>437071
>>Ask Ivanka a "hypothetical" question regarding your piglet and her stomach. Hopefully she doesn't want to eat it.
>>
"So, Ivanka... How would you like a piglet staying with us? This is just a hypothetical question, of course."

"...A piglet, comrade Stojan?"

"Yeah, a piglet."

"...Sounds tasty, but I'm trying to lose weight, Stojan."

"No, not for eating! Just as a pet!"

"I thought that human girl was your pet."

Actions.

>...Well, yeah. But what's wrong with having more then one pet? Why not have ALL the pets?
>Well, she's there because she's adorable, and she couldn't harm me if she wanted to.
>...She's a science project, alright?
>Well, we've got to save the environment, comrade! Besides, that girl is becoming less and less racist as she spends more time with us!
>Write-In
>>
>>437114
>>Well, we've got to save the environment, comrade! Besides, that girl is becoming less and less racist as she spends more time with us!
WE WUZ KANGZ
>>
>>437116
AND SHIZ
>>
Well, we've got to save the enviroment, comrade! Besides that girl is becoming less and less racist as she spends more time with us!"

"...What are you talking about, Stojan?"

"Isn't it obvious? The oppression natural in the system for us werewolves! The humanarchy cannot go on!"

"...Stojan, I think you need some sleep."

Actions.

>...Fine, I guess.
>JUSTICE NEVER SLEEPS!
>...Does this mean we can let a pig onto our bed now?
>You fool! Humans oppress us with every breath we take, every step we take...
>...I will convince you to believe in Werewolf Lives Matter! (Charisma, HARD)
>Write-in
>>
>>437149
>>...I will convince you to believe in Werewolf Lives Matter! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>437149
>JUSTICE NEVER SLEEPS!
>...I will convince you to believe in Werewolf Lives Matter! (Charisma, HARD
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4 to convince Ivanka of MUH OPPRESSION.

Additional +2 available if you can cite "facts".
>>
File: BasedDaniel.jpg (832 KB, 1658x2468)
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Rolled 2 + 6 (1d20 + 6)

>>437166
It is a known fact that werewolves are superior to all other races! Look at Ancient Egypt, they worshipped our forefather, Anubis, as a GOD!
>>
>>437170
WE
WUZ
GODZ

also congrats I didn't even know I could be this fucking triggered.
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>437166
LOOK AT EGYPTIANS MUH MOZART MUH CHARLEMAGNE MUH KING ARTHUR ALL STOLEN BY EVIL WHITE MAN
>>
9+8=17

Minor Failure.

"IT'S A KNOWN FACT THAT WEREWOLVES ARE SUPERIOR TO ALL OTHER RACES! LOOK AT ANCIENT EGYPT! THEY WORSHIPED OUR FOREFATHER, ANUBIS AS A GOD!"

"Stojan, calm dow-"

"WHY, EVEN MOZART, CHARLEMAGNE, AND KING ARTHUR WERE WEREWOLVES, OBVIOUSLY! THESE HUMANS ARE FUCKING LIARS AND CHEATS, ALL OF THEM!"

"...Comrade Stojan, calm down. Please."

You hear a knock at the door.

"Is everything alright in there? I heard yelling."

Oh right. You have neighbors.

Actions.

>HOW DARE THESE HUMAN MALES OPPRESS YOU WITH ASKING IF YOUR ALRIGHT! REEEEEE!
>Everything's fine, I'm just really worked into something.
>Open the door, might as well meet the neighbors.
>Write-In
>>
>>437188
>>Everything's fine, I'm just really worked into something.
>>
>>437188
>HOW DARE THESE HUMAN MALES OPPRESS YOU WITH ASKING IF YOUR ALRIGHT! REEEEEE!
FUCKING CIS WHITE MALE OPRESSORS REEEEEEEEE
>>
>>437176
>also congrats I didn't even know I could be this fucking triggered.
Don't worry, that's what I use it for
>>
"Everything's fine, I'm just really into something."

"Yeah, just please be more quiet? Some of us are trying to sleep!"

"See Ivanka? The fucking white males are at it again!"

"Stojan, take a deep breath and relax."

"I'm fine, Ivanka! You just don't understand how the humanarchy works!"

"Stojan, please calm down."

Actions.

>Fine, I guess.
>Kutyovka, tell her how you humans are all racists and oppress us with not being able to eat you! (Charisma)
>I'll show you! I bet that neighbor was a fucking white male who would love nothing better then to rape you and oppress me!
>...Fine, but only if you let a pig onto the bed.
>Fine, but only if you let Kutyovka onto the bed.
>Fine, but only if you let Kutyovka AND a pig onto the bed.
>Write-In
>>
>>437215
>>...Fine, but only if you let a pig onto the bed.
Seriously, he is an adorable piglet. If we fail, get daughteru Pelevanka in on this
>>
>>437215
>...Fine, but only if you let a pig onto the bed
>>
"Fine, but only if you let my pig onto the bed."

"...Your pig?"

"...Of course."

"...I guess, but only if you let Pelevanka onto the bed."

"B-But we don't have enough room!"

"So?"

"...We'd be really, really warm. And also it may pose a firehazard."

"For you, maybe."

Actions.

>Fine, I'll let Pelevinka onto the bed.
>...She can sleep in another room, alright?
>Fine, but only if you also let my human pet in the bed, alright? (Charisma)
>No, I won't. This bed is for you and me. And my pig.
>Write-in
>>
>>437240
>>Fine, I'll let Pelevinka onto the bed.
>>
>>437240
>Fine, I'll let Pelevinka onto the bed.
>>
>>437240
>Fine, I'll let Pelevinka onto the bed.

Also in real life, the French king Charles V would run around the castle grounds and howl like a wolf. Might be useful in the future.
>>
>>437240

>Fine, I'll let Pelevinka onto the bed.

"Ok, but the pig gets a blanket."
>>
>>437243
This.
>>
"Fine, I'll get Pelevina and invite her to sleep with us."

"...Alright, Comrade Stojan."

You put on your tracksuit and go outside, trying to find Pelevina. After some searching you eventually find her in a sleeping bag.

"Pelevina, you awake?"

"...What is it?"

"Ivanka wants to know if you want to sleep with us."

"In a real bed?"

"In a real bed."

"...That actually sounds really comfortable, sure."

"Good. Now, come on."

The two of you head back to the bed, and you have to make room. Right. Then you remember that you left the pig outside... What sort of terrible, horrible things could of happened to it? You rush outside, and see it eating grass, oblivious to the owl watching it closely. You grab the piglet and rush inside, hoping to avoid the winged menace. You close the door behind you and try to get comfy into the bed, while the piglet tries to find a comfortable space to rest on.

Eventually you wake up, around noon. Your bed is covered in fur, and Ivanka and Pelevina are talking in the kitchen, (and cooking something) while your piglet scurries around, not really knowing what to do. Kutyovka seems to be just reading a book.

Actions.

>...Well, you've got to get ready for your job down at the town hall. Get dressed, kiss the wife goodbye, and head to work.
>Eh, you can spend some time doing something at home, right? (Specify what you want to do at home)
>...You know you should probably start renovating your home soon so it's a little more suited to housing you and your family. You should see a contractor or something after work.
>Write-In

Is it just me, or does that bed sound really fucking comfortable?
>>
File: Tsudanuma.jpg (687 KB, 1200x848)
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>>437303
>Is it just me, or does that bed sound really fucking comfortable?
Comfytown

>...Well, you've got to get ready for your job down at the town hall. Get dressed, kiss the wife goodbye, and head to work.
>>
>>437303

>...Well, you've got to get ready for your job down at the town hall. Get dressed, kiss the wife goodbye, and head to work.

And bring the pig.
>>
>>437303
>...You know you should probably start renovating your home soon so it's a little more suited to housing you and your family. You should see a contractor or something after work.
It probably is
>>
You decide to go to work, and you leave your small residence behind.

When you arrive, you find there's five issues requiring your attention.

The first, is simply just werewolves wanting more human flesh so they won't starve, second is simply rebuilding the city, and the third is dealing with your promise to the head of the democrat party. Oh, along with dealing with the communists, along with somesort of controversy about the judicial system.

What do first?

>Democracy issue first.
>The food situation.
>The rebuilding of the city.
>Judicial system issue?
>Communists have to be dealt with, of course.
>...There's a NEW important issue. Racism!
>The environment needs to be saved!
>Appoint some cabinet members! (Also, could someone remind me what you appointed everyone to?)
>Write-In
>>
>>437343
>The rebuilding of the city.
>>
>>437343
>>The food situation.
>>
>>437343
Feed the werewolves the Communist.

A point cabinet members after. And then take care of the democracy and judicial issues as "reforms" to "bring about change"
>>
>>437343
>Dementyev, Communist, General.
Army Head
>Ivanka Romanov, Communist, Daughter of Commissar
Head of Secret Service
>Petrov Vladislavovich, Communist, Commissar.
>Nicolae Kopanski, Conservative, Priest
Governor of a Province
>Santiago, Unaligned, Ex-Criminal.
Head of Finance
>Leopold
We didn't really give him stuff

We need to figure out where to put Leopold
>>
>>437372
Oh, and also Petrov I suppose.
>>
>>437372
Leopold just makes a good field commander.
>>
>>437377
I'll second this
>>
Well, looks like food situation should be taken care of first.

Food Consumption

Criminals Per Week for Death Row Crimes: 12

Required per week for Werewolves to remain at starving: 35
Required per week for Werewolves to remain at hungry: 70
Required per week for Werewolves to remain at sated: 140
Required per week for Werewolves to remain at well-sated: 280

Werewolf Citizens do not have enough to eat!

What exactly do you plan to do about this?

>Revise the constitution!
>...Take a more corrupt approach. Try to increase crime.
>Well, you could always outlaw a party as "free nommings" or something.
>Increase "volunteers".
>Introduce a tax for human meat!
>Write-In
>>
>>437343
>The food situation.
>>
>>437392
>Revise the constitution!
>>
>>437392
>>Revise the constitution!
Could we talk to our scientist buddy about making a serum that could lessen or stop us from needing human meat? Don't want revolting peasants.
>>
>>437409
This. Those beef cubes were good enough for Ivanka.
>>
>>437409
That sounds a lot better then my idea. I was going to propose making micro aggressions against werewolves a death sentence.
>>
>>437409
You decide to pay a visit to Karkmann, and you knock on his "office" (which is just the receptionist office)

"Karkmann, are you in there?"

"I'm busy!"

"What is it?"

He opens up the door.

"I am busy working with that scientist you gave me a while ago! I'm trying to set up a proper laboratory!"

"I was hoping you could make something that could lessen our need for human meat."

"...I could make a substitute, yes."

"...Erh, alright."

"Well, the problem is that it would be hard, even for me. I could probably lessen the need for it, but there's always the chance I could increase it, Stojan."

"Oh. Good."

Actions.

>...Could you just see about having a different safeguard rather then the human flesh one?
>Will the serum work on me?
>...Instead of that, why don't we see about trying to infect random animals with lycanthropy?
>Well, could we lessen the effects?
>Write-In
>>
>>437434
>>...Could you just see about having a different safeguard rather then the human flesh one?
>>
>>437434
>...Instead of that, why don't we see about trying to infect random animals with lycanthropy?
>>
>>437434
>...Could you just see about having a different safeguard rather then the human flesh one?
>>
>>437441
This.
>>
"Could you just see about having a different safeguard rather the human flesh one?"

"Well, unless you enjoy having to clean up lots of bodies, then no, not really."

"Damn it."

"Of course, there is a possible theory I have, that I could expand the safeguard limits, essentially lowering the need for human flesh and transfering the need lost into a need for something else... However, it could prove a little... Random."

Actions.

>...Do it.
>No, I'm willing to lose some comrades.
>Let's just go with infecting animals.
>Well, time to look at the constitution...
>Write-In
>>
>>437467
>...Do it.
>>
>>437467
>Well, time to look at the constitution...
WHAT IF WE HAD TO EAT PIGS? You can't do this to our pet
>>
>>437477
This.
>>
"Do it."

"...Very well, I'll begin the experimentation."

Roll me a 1d100 for what exactly happens
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>437511
>>
94

A few hours later, Karkmann comes back out.

"Well, I think you'll be surprised with the results, ja?"

"What exactly did you get?"

"Well, the safeguard was successfully replaced with a need for any meat, but tends to work much more effectively with human meat."

"Oh, great!"

"...It does however, cost ten-thousand per serum."

Actions.

>Start dolling it out! (Cost: 0.5$ Million)
>...Well, never mind...
>So, does that mean eating people isn't required anymore? That's great!
>Write-In
>>
>>437543
>>Start dolling it out! (Cost: 0.5$ Million)
>>
"That's great, doc! Start producing them at once!"

"Ja, very well."

"Is there any side effects, at all?"

"Not really, nein."

Actions.

>Could you give me the shot? I'd personally like to stop eating humans.
>Yeah, no. I'm good with my diet, thanks.
>...You've got to give it to Ivanka, I don't know how long I can control her!
>Write-In
>>
>>437574
>>...You've got to give it to Ivanka, I don't know how long I can control her!
>>Could you give me the shot? I'd personally like to stop eating humans.
>>
>>437574
>>...You've got to give it to Ivanka, I don't know how long I can control her!
This + meat cube
>>
"Listen, you've got to give this to Ivanka, I don't know how long I can actually control her."

"Oh. Right. Well, I'll make sure to give her some."

"Good."

"So, I don't know about you but that was the last of my lab resources. If you want me to research something else, your going to have to wait until next month."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

With that done, you leave Karkmann's office. It's currently the afternoon, and not much has been going on.

Anything else you want to deal with?

>Democracy issue first.
>Maybe you should change the constitution in light of this new serum?
>The rebuilding of the city.
>Judicial system issue?
>Communists have to be dealt with, of course.
>...There's a NEW important issue. Racism!
>The environment needs to be saved!
>Appoint some cabinet members! (Also, could someone remind me what you appointed everyone to?)
>Write-In
>>
>>437605
>Maybe you should change the constitution in light of this new serum?
>The rebuilding of the city.
>>
You decide to change the constitution in light of this new serum...

Right now, a werewolf can eat a protestor if the government allows it, they can also eat death row prisoners and volunteers.

Actions.

>...Make the consumption of people illegal...
>Keep it as it is.
>Be a little more lax on it.
>Write-in
>>
>>437639
>Be a little more lax on it.
>>
You decide to lessen the human consumption laws.

Select how far your going to change them.

>No, don't change the law.
>Any criminal can be eaten.
>Humans who preform constant micro-aggressions against werewolves.
>Humans who have been judged as racists may be eaten.
>Humans can be eaten at any time, for any reason.
>Humans who are repeat offenders may be eaten.
>Write-In
>>
>>437681
>No, don't change the law.
>>
>>437681
>Any criminal can be eaten.
>Humans who preform constant micro-aggressions against werewolves.
>Humans who have been judged as racists may be eaten.
#WerewolvesLivesMatter
>>
Waiting ten more minutes.
>>
>>437681
>Any criminal can be eaten.
>Humans who preform constant micro-aggressions against werewolves.
>Humans who have been judged as racists may be eaten.
>>
You fume at the thought of RACISM... The humanarchy must be stopped, and therefor consumed because they are vile racists!

Werewolf Respect has greatly increased, while Human Respect has sharply decreased. Respect of the Communist Party has increased greatly.

With that done, you decide to begin to rebuild the city. You find Santiago in one of the hallways of City Hall.

"Senor, there are pre-"

"I know, let's solve them already. What are we supposed to do?"

"Well, I know of a few opportunities to repair the city... However, we need to decide where we'll rebuild first."

Choices.

>The poor section. (Respect of the Communists is increased, along with the respect of the lower class. Capitalist respect falls.)
>Get the middle class section up and running. (Respect of the unaligned is increased, along with the middle class's respect.P
>Get the upper-end sections livable again. (Respect of Capitalists goes up, but Communist respect falls. Upper Class respect also rises.)
>>
>>437770
>The poor section. (Respect of the Communists is increased, along with the respect of the lower class. Capitalist respect falls.)
>>
>>437770
>Get the upper-end sections livable again. (Respect of Capitalists goes up, but Communist respect falls. Upper Class respect also rises.)
Fuck commies
>>
1=Poor.
2=Upper-Class
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

>>437813
Fuck you too dice.
>>
"Yeah, help out the poor and downtrodden first off. Maybe the communists will start liking me."

"I think they already like you... Now, I have a few corporations willing to invest in rebuilding the city so we'll have money of somesort for the next few months..."

Actions.

>No, we don't need foreign corporations, damn it! (-50% Income for the rest of the year. When done, receive a +5% Income bonus)
>...See if the United States are willing to help us. (-25% Income for the rest of the year, slightly decreased relations with USA.)
>Well, hire a corporation from Sweden. (-35% Income for the rest of the year)
>Write-In
>>
>>437847
>>Well, hire a corporation from Sweden. (-35% Income for the rest of the year)
>>
>>437867
scratch this, go with -50% income.

Make Poland great again!
>>
>>437898
This
>>
>>437898
P O L A N D
>>
>>437898
Polish jobs for true Polish workers!
>>
I-is QM dead?
>>
>>438120
QM is in a better place. A place free of edginess and pretzelposting.
>>
>>438120
I hope not.


Also I regret going to see a film, since some insane fools have decided to alter the werewolf human-consumption laws in an idiotic way. Can, if either of you are still here, you explain why you think that that wasn't retarded? I mean, we'll just change it back at some point but still.
>>
>>438142
>>438146
I was wondering that myself. Most of our population are humans and we're no Ren.

Also Godspeed QM you /pol/lack meme maniac.
>>
>>438146
Fucking this.
I voted towards revising the constitution so we wouldn't eat as many people, but then I go on a college run and now this shit happens.
>>
Back anons, I passed out in my office chair and got scolded for it.

Pro tip for the graveyard shift: if you fall asleep someone is watching you, murderer or boss or co-worker.
>>
>This thread right now

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=04xOsNW7zTA
>>
>>438612
Spoke too soon..
>>
"Polish jobs for Polish workers, comrade. Nothing else."

"Alright, I'll send out the letters immediately."

"Good, good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be going now."

"Yes, my king."

It's late at night, and you can't help but realize you might of been a little TOO impassioned about destroying the humanarchy.
But soon, it will all come tumbling down...

Actions.

>...If anything, you must keep RACISM at bay further!
>Yeah, might not of been wise to allow werewolves who don't really need to eat people... Well, eat lots of people for little reason. Even if it's just. Revert the changes.
>You should probably make eating people illegal.
>Write-In
>>
>>438620
>...If anything, you must keep RACISM at bay further!
>>
>>438620
>Just keep the changes and move on

The way it is now will be useful at handling possible dissenters.
>>
>>438620
>Yeah, might not of been wise to allow werewolves who don't really need to eat people... Well, eat lots of people for little reason. Even if it's just. Revert the changes.


Please anons, just be sane for once!
>>
>>438608
Sorry to hear that fampai

>>438620
>Yeah, might not of been wise to allow werewolves who don't really need to eat people... Well, eat lots of people for little reason. Even if it's just. Revert the changes.
>>
>>438631
>>438638
Uber moralfags putting feels before logic and pragmatism
>>
>>438646
...except we have meatcubes that can achieve the same when the serum is fully distributed, and we're fucking werewolf badasses who can go hunt for soldiers if we need food.
>>
>>438646
There is a difference between "uber moralfags" and being fucking retarded. But to be frank if it is aligning with you or moral fags, I'll sooner be seen preaching a end to human pets than I will enjoying the human pretzels!
>>
>>438661
If we have laws in the constitution that are very liberal in terms of punishment then we can easily dispose of people who might pose a threat without as much backlash.
>>
>>438668
And if we are a good leader we shouldn't NEED those sorts of laws!
>>
You sneak into the constitution room, grab an eraser, and begin erasing wildly on the "fucking humans" and shit.

However, as you begin to get your things and leave the town hall, you see your father, Nicolae.

"Ah, Stojan. I haven't seen you all day."

"I've been heavily busy trying to stop the humanar- I mean trying to repair the city."

"Oh, good. Stojan, why don't you come to church some time? I know you have done many things you regret... Maybe you should turn away from the vodka bottle a little, eh?"

Actions.

>...Well, I guess I might.
>I'm too busy to really go to church.
>...Well, would you mind if I confessed to a few things right here, right now? I can't really wait for a church. (Stojan becomes more religious)
>I'm not really religious, dad. Being a werewolf doesn't really help. (Stojan becomes less religious.
>Hey dad... I've been meaning to ask you if you'd be willing to invite the family here, rather then remaining in the soviet-occupied territory?
>Write-In
>>
How about we all just sit back and assess the situation. There are enemy soldiers we can hunt. We have beef cubes that can sustain us for a long time. The majority of the population is human.
Having werewolves eat fair citizens is pants-on-head retarded if you ask me.
>>
File: 1468201086462.gif (655 KB, 460x426)
655 KB
655 KB GIF
>>438682
>Hey dad... I've been meaning to ask you if you'd be willing to invite the family here, rather then remaining in the soviet-occupied territory?
>>438646
>>438661
>>438667
>Mfw seeing edge and moral fags argue
>>
>>438671
A good leader should be chivalrous but also pragmatic. If there is some sort of plot against us and the person in charge or movement has any support from the people then it will be more challenging to get rid of them. Some sort of rebellion is bound to happen.

>>438682
>...Well, would you mind if I confessed to a few things right here, right now? I can't really wait for a church. (Stojan becomes more religious)
>>
>>438682
>>Hey dad... I've been meaning to ask you if you'd be willing to invite the family here, rather then remaining in the soviet-occupied territory?
AVOID
>>
>>438682
>...Well, would you mind if I confessed to a few things right here, right now? I can't really wait for a church. (Stojan becomes more religious)


>>438683
Mate I agree and will attempt to fight back against the insane edgy people who seemingly consider it a good idea. Sadly this quest runs after midnight for me and I won't always be able to join...
>>
>>438689
If they have the support of the people then we aren't a good leader. Unless you are talking about them receiving the support of a minority, in which case that helps them little.
>>
>>438697
There will be parts of Poland that are out of our control such as a Soviet or possibly even American backed insurgency. A aristocratic uprising or something like it is a another possibility. It's not like we're Ren and can just fuck everything up. Making it easier to eliminate people would be a good thing. Would you disagree with something like secret police?
>>
"...So, I've got two things to ask you. First off, are you willing to invite the family here? Second off, would you mind if I confessed right here, right now?"

"...Well, to answer your first question I would rather they stay at home, I'd rather you not turn them into werewolves or something..."

Actions.

>...I didn't plan on that, I just want them over.
>...Well, maybe if they consented?
>...What, you don't want the family to have fur or something?
>What are you, a racist?
>Write-In
>>
>>438682
>Hey dad... I've been meaning to ask you if you'd be willing to invite the family here, rather then remaining in the soviet-occupied territory?
>>
>>438718
>>...I didn't plan on that, I just want them over.
>>...Well, maybe if they consented?
>>
>>438718
>>...I didn't plan on that, I just want them over.
>>...Well, maybe if they consented?
>>
>>438718
>I didn't plan on that, I just want them over...
although it wouldn't hurt if I asked and they consented.
>>
"I didn't really plan on that. I just want them over, but if I asked and they consented..."

"Then no, not at all."

"Why? I just said I'd ask."

"Yeah, I'll trust my son who made people pretzels, tends to go on semi-fascist stances, has a betrothed who I fucking saw look at my kids like a goddamned bird of prey... Not to mention she's a God-forsaken communist."

Actions.

>Don't fucking say that about Ivanka, damn it.
>...Right, I have to get your approval for the marriage. Might as well get that out of the way.
>I wouldn't freak out and try to infect them, I swear.
>...On second thought, that was somewhat stupid of me.
>Write-In
>>
>>438756
>...Right, I have to get your approval for the marriage. Might as well get that out of the way.
>>
>>438756
>...On second thought, that was somewhat stupid of me.
>>...Right, I have to get your approval for the marriage. Might as well get that out of the way.
>>
>>438756
>I wouldn't freak out and try to infect them, I swear.

We should eventually spend more time with Ivanka and sway her to Catholicism or at least away from communism.
>>
"Right... Well, do you approve of me marrying Ivanka?"

"No, not at all. I refuse to have my son marry some communist Russian, and that is final."

"...Why?"

"She's a bad influence on you, isn't it obvious?"

Actions.

>...Well, it was just a formality, I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not.
>...I'll try to convert her, alright?
>I guess I won't marry her, then.
>Write-In
>>
>>438776
>...Well, it was just a formality, I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not.
>>
>>438776
>...Well, it was just a formality, I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not.
Will this be the first time /qst/ ditches a waifu?
>>
>>438776
>>...Well, it was just a formality, I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not.
>>
>>438776
>...I'll try to convert her, alright?

>>438786
If I recall correctly we just met Ivanka out of a random group of girls in town, proceeded to drink with her and then we just took her to the back of the woods. The rest is history.
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons!
>>
>>438817
>...Well, it was just a formality, I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not.

And you can't stop me.
>>
>>438827
This.
>>
"It was just a formality. I'll still marry her, whether you like it or not."

"...Go ahead then."

"Just like that?"

"No, but I know I can't stop you. Just know that if it goes downhill that it's not my problem."

"...Thanks, I guess."

"Yeah."

"...So, about the family thing..."

Actions.

>Come on, you can trust me, I swear. (Charisma, HARD)
>Actually, you can trust me but Ivanka? Eh... Don't invite them, please.
>Do it or your hide is on the line. (Intimidation, HARD)
>...I promise that I'll protect them from Ivanka and anyone who'll harm them, alright? (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>438842
>...I promise that I'll protect them from Ivanka and anyone who'll harm them, alright? (Charisma)

I don't trust Petrov...
>>
>>438842
>...I promise that I'll protect them from Ivanka and anyone who'll harm them, alright? (Charisma)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+4.
>>
>>438842
>Actually, you can trust me but Ivanka? Eh... Don't invite them, please.
>>
Rolled 6 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>438857
>>
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)

>>438857
>>
18+4=22

"...I promise I'll protect them from Ivanka, and anyone who will harm them, alright?"

"...I guess. But where are they going to sleep?"

Actions.

>Erh, my house, I guess.
>My house, but first I'll have to clean it up a little.
>Well, I guess they can just... Where do you sleep anyways?
>...I'll get them an apartment here, alright?
>...It might be a little sketchy, but you'll personally kick out a more upper-class family for their home, where your family will stay in. (Stojan will become slightly corrupt)
>Write-In
>>
>>438871
>>...I'll get them an apartment here, alright?
I'm going to be renovating my place soon anyway, and I could add a few extra rooms for them.
>>
>>438871
>Write-In
We can have some of our werewolves go and rip some lumber out of the ground from a forest, enough for a decent log cabin. We can give them land rights to a large yard and such.
>>
>>438871
>My house, but first I'll have to clean it up a little.

Combined with our tracksuit and us being a 10 foot tall werewolf, this could make some comedic stuff
>>
>>438871
>My house, but first I'll have to clean it up a little
>>
"Well, I guess my place."

"...Alright, just be careful around them, alright?"

"...Right, even a scratch could infect them."

"Yeah. I'd rather not have to deal with my wife being a werewolf."

"Well, that'd be kind of adorable to be honest..."

"Stojan!"

"Oh. Right."

"Yeah. Anyways, let's get somewhere private for your confession, such as my office."

"Agreed."

What exactly do you want to confess?

>...You did force Kutyovka to eat human flesh.
>Well, you kidnapped someone, made them a pet, and forced them to eat human flesh. Might as well be in the specifics here.
>Well, you did think about torturing and maiming Zhukov for Ivanka.
>Brush those details out!
>>
>>438890
>...You did force Kutyovka to eat human flesh.

Don't go too far in depth since it might damage our relations with Nicolae.
>>
>>438890
>Brush those details out!
>>
For a while you start confessing to some relatively minor stuff, but when it comes to the "big thing" with the forced human cannibalism, you purposely be vague about it. Your father hesitantly forgives you, and you continue on with your day.

It's currently night.

Actions.

>...Go to a bar and get a few drinks. "A few".
>You should probably go around looking for a contractor, just to make plans with on how to renovate your house.
>You should probably see where the hell Leopold is.
>...You know, you don't really know your unofficial adopted daughter too well. Why not give her a gift while your out?
>Head home.
>Write-In
>>
>>438923
>You should probably go around looking for a contractor, just to make plans with on how to renovate your house.
>>
>>438923
>>You should probably go around looking for a contractor, just to make plans with on how to renovate your house.
Get hammers then get hammered.
>>
>>438923
>You should probably go around looking for a contractor, just to make plans with on how to renovate your house.

I want a basement linking to the command bunker. Not to mention various defences and expansions.
>>
>>438923
>You should probably go around looking for a contractor, just to make plans with on how to renovate your house.

I want some sort of dungeon. It's necessary for any good King to have a dungeon for enemies.
>>
File: StojanHouse.jpg (13 KB, 770x587)
13 KB
13 KB JPG
You decide to find a contractor, and within at least three hours, around midnight, you find a willing contractor. You enter his office and take a seat.

"Erh, can I help you?"

"Yes, I'm looking for a contractor to renovate my home."

"Right. Right, erh... That might be a little hard because of your condition, but so long as I'm paid, I don't particularly care."

"How much do you want?"

"It depends on the renovation you want, of course."

"Well, here's what I want you to do..."

Your house is currently very small, having basic living conditions.

Actions.

>...I'd like to expand the restroom. It's hard for me and my soon-to-be wife to move around in there.
>Erh, I need my bedroom expanded. We're starting to run out of room.
>...I was wondering if you could expand my living room.
>I want to attach a new room to my house.
>...I want a second story.
>I would like a basement, of course.
>...Well, I want a swimming pool outside, like our neighbors.
>Write-In
>>
>>438959
>...I'd like to expand the restroom. It's hard for me and my soon-to-be wife to move around in there.
>>
>>438959
>>...I'd like to expand the restroom. It's hard for me and my soon-to-be wife to move around in there.
>I want to attach a new room to my house.
Two more bedrooms for the family. Some will have to double up, but we can always expand more later.
>I would like a basement, of course.
This would more or less be a tunnel to the command bunker and that's it. Once again, expand again when we have more money.
>>
>>438959
>...I'd like to expand the restroom. It's hard for me and my soon-to-be wife to move around in there.
>...I want a second story.
>I would like a basement, of course.


Room for werewolfs and family! Secret tunnel of secrets too!
>>
>>438966
This is good.
>>
>>438959
>Erh, I need my bedroom expanded. We're starting to run out of room.
>...I want a second story.
>I would like a basement, of course

Is anyone else thinking about taking that pool our neighbors have? We could just reimburse them.
>>
"Well, I want a bigger restroom, two more bedrooms, and a basement."

"Ah, well, let's start off with the restroom. Do you have any specifics?"

Actions.

>...Just make it a little larger, alright? I would like not making things fall over everytime I turn around. (Cost: 25k)
>I'd like it to be much larger. I'd like to actually fit in the bathtub if I can install a new one. (Cost: 50k)
>I want a deluxe bathroom. About the size of a bedroom. (Cost: 75k)
>I want the largest bathroom around! (Cost: $1 Million)
>Write-In

Your current treasury is 60k
>>
>>438997
>...Just make it a little larger, alright? I would like not making things fall over everytime I turn around. (Cost: 25k)
>>
>>438997
>...Just make it a little larger, alright? I would like not making things fall over everytime I turn around. (Cost: 25k)
>>
>>438997
>I'd like it to be much larger. I'd like to actually fit in the bathtub if I can install a new one. (Cost: 50k)
>>
>>439006
This, if we can take out loans.
>>
If we can take out loans that I support a larger bathroom with a tub.
>>
"Yeah, I'd like it just to be a little larger."

"Alright, let me just put that on your tab..."

Your treasury is now 10k.

"Now, let's start talking about having a basement."

"Basement, right. Alright, what exactly do you want?"

Actions.

>...A small cellar, suitable for storing things (Cost: 60k)
>You want a large cellar, maybe with a second room in it? (Cost: 1 Million)
>A mini-dungeon. (Cost: 3 Million)
>You want a tunnel heading to the Command Bunker. (Cost: 10 Million)
>A soundproof dungeon. (Cost: 5 Million)
>Erh, just a small room underground. (40k)
>Write-In
>>
>>439026
By the way, since you guys can't afford this stuff I'll just say once you get the money to afford it you can choose to order it.
>>
>>439026
Is the treasury ours or the government's? If the government's do
>You want a tunnel heading to the Command Bunker. (Cost: 10 Million)
As it would be important we would be able to get there on military business
>>
>>439034
It's both yours and the governments, since you are the KANG after all.
>>
>>439026
>You want a large cellar, maybe with a second room in it? (Cost: 1 Million)
>>
>>439026
>You want a tunnel heading to the Command Bunker. (Cost: 10 Million)

We can have stuff built off it later.
>>
>>439026
>You want a large cellar, maybe with a second room in it? (Cost: 1 Million)
>>
"I want a tunnel heading to this specific location."

"Wow... Well, since you've got government access I suppose I can do it. Only problem is that the time needed, cost, and manpower of digging a hole that long... Well, I'd say at least ten million."

"Damn. When I raise the money I'll come back to you."

"Alright. Now, is there anything else?"

Eh... I was thinking about a new room."

"Right. Here's the costs for a new room. I don't really furnish this stuff, this is just a size."

>Living Room (Cost: 1 Million)
>Garage (Cost: 80k)
>Bedroom (Cost: 60k)
>Restroom (Cost: 40k)
>Closet (20k)
>Shed (Cost: 10k)
>Erh... How about we make a deal... You scratch my back, I scratch yours?
>...You wouldn't happen to have room for a new employee, would you?
>Write-In for sizes.
>>
>>439047
>Bedroom (Cost: 60k) x2
>>
>>439047
>Bedroom (Cost: 60k)
>>
Waiting five more minutes anons.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Two bedrooms!
2=Just one.
>>
"Yeah, I'll just have a single bedroom. That's it, really."

"Alright, I'll put this in a tab. I hope you enjoyed doing business with me, mister Kopanski."

You nod and leave, heading back to your home. You fall into bed, nearly ontop of your wife.

"Hey, Stojan... I was wondering where you were."

"I was out, making sure our home will get bigger and better."

"Ah. You know, Stojan, I've heard about you taking down a gang."

"Oh, really?"

"Da, comrade. I was wondering if you'd let me also do that. It seems much more fun then just sitting around here all day."

Actions.

>Sure, I guess. But who exactly are you going to track down?
>Could I come? That's less boring then sitting around and filing papers all day.
>...Fine, but take Sedov and Boris with you.
>No, I'd rather not see you get hurt, damn it!
>Write-In
>>
>>439097
>Write-In
"So long as they haven't got anything too dangerous. Do warn me before doing so just in case you get captured."
>>
>>439097
>Could I come? That's less boring then sitting around and filing papers all day.

Hey QM, do we still have that crown we found in the woods. It's not listed in the character sheet with other stuff like the Nazi hat,
>>
>>439097
>>Sure, I guess. But who exactly are you going to track down?
>>
>>439105
Yeah, I keep forgetting, and it doesn't exactly fit you right.
>>
>>439097
>Sure, I guess. But who exactly are you going to track down?
>>439111
It it comically small or just wierd shaped?
>>
>>439117
Eh, it's just too small to really wear without it just falling off.
>>
>>439120
I thought we got duck tape or something to deal with that.
>>
>>439123
I don't think so.

"Sure, I guess. Who are you going to track down?"

"I'm not exactly sure, comrade. It's just that city life is quite boring."

"...It is, really."

"Da, comrade. But anyways, I've got you something while I was securing our property."

Actions.

>...Oh God, what do you mean, securing our property?
>What is it?
>I don't think I want to know.
>Please tell me you didn't booby-trap the yard...
>Write-In
>>
>>439132
>Please tell me you didn't booby-trap the yard...
>>
>>439132
>What is it?
>>
>>439132
>What is it?
>>
>>439132
>Please tell me you didn't booby-trap the yard...
>>
"...What exactly did you get me?"

"Hang on..."

She gets out of the bed, and opens the closet, and hands you... The communist star and scythe.

"I got this for you, comrade. Wear this at all times, so the proletariat know you are on their side at all times!"

"...Ivanka, I'm not really into the communist stuff. You are."

"...Comrade, it is stylish and looks good with your tracksuit. Also, it shows you support equality and justice for all!"

Actions.

>...Thank you?
>Thank you, now... Feel up for a night of tumbling? (Charisma)
>...Erh, it's probably time to drop a few redpills for her. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Ha, this will show those humans who's truly equal!
>Write-In
>>
>>439156
>Write-In
"Look I feel we need to have a talk about respecting different view points and how I don't feel like being communist.

If you want to discuss it, sure but I am certain in my beliefs."
>>
>>439156
>...Erh, it's probably time to drop a few redpills for her. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
Can we put on the Indiana Jones hat first?
>>
>>439156
>...Erh, it's probably time to drop a few redpills for her. (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>>
>>439164
Sure.

Roll me a 1d20+5, additional +2 if you can drop a redpill or two about communism.
>>
Rolled 15 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439171
>>
Rolled 10 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439171
Mr. /pol/?
>>
>>439171
She's going to want to take some vodka with these pills.
>>
Rolled 3 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439183
Fucking dice.
>>
Communism is the conglomeration of ideas by two German bourgeois, one of whom was a factory owner. Communism is unable to succeed because itself goes against nature and therefore human society. Equality is impossible while monarchy is the truest and most pure form of government. The strong should lead over the weak and misguided.
>>
Rolled 10 + 7 (1d20 + 7)

>>439171
Communism relies on the government to deliver a service. The open market often supplies the same or better service at lowered cost, thanks to greater interest in cost reduction and a need to maintain a superiority over competitors. This is before even mentioning the inefficiency of government administration.


Communism oppresses the best of humanity and rewards the laziest equally well. It sees those who do more rewarded the same as those who do the bare minimum.


Communism requires that an armed authoritarian force exists to stop a group from removing the control of the means of production from the people. Since these people can't be trusted to never become corrupt this system instantly or eventually turns into a dictatorship.


Does anyone think I should add more arguments or is that enough?
>>
15+7=22

Borderline Failure

"Communism is the conglomeration of ideas by two German bourgeois, one of whom was a factory owner. Communism is unable to succeed because itself goes against nature and therefore our society. Equality is impossible while monarchy is the truest and most pure form of government. The strong should lead over the weak and misguided!"

"But it's the modern year, we have a duty to help the downtrodden and the poor man! We cannot let the capitalists exploit them!"

"Ivanka, think about it!"

"...Comrade, it's clear that you don't understand the issues! Communism is great, the Russian czars barely fed or clothed their own people! Under communism, Russia has gone far, it can boast about powerful factories, with men and women given board and shelter, surely you can understand that without communism Russia would be irrelevant, still!"

Comrade Pig oinks at her angrily.

"...Why is he doing that? Do I smell bad or something?"

Actions.

>He can smell COMMUNISM!
>...Honestly, when have you taken a bath?
>Comrade Pig just doesn't like us yelling at each other. He also doesn't like communism.
>...I don't know, honestly.
>Write-In
>>
>>439238
>He can smell COMMUNISM!
>>
>>439198
Communism is a system of governance which last saw effective use thousands of years ago. In small tribal groups where everyone was either family or going to be married into in a few generations. People couldn't betray each other and the only things to share were housing, food, fire and tools.

The moment complex civilisation took off, more complex than mere farming communities but ones filled with professional farmers and such, the system fell apart.

Only one example of a more complex society in the ages before now which managed such a feat exists. It had all citizens who were craftsmen; potters, smiths, fetchers, jewellers, tanners, carpenters and masons. Turn their produce into centralised warehouses, under armed guard to prevent theft. In return for producing the goods for every other citizen, they were given their needed food and part of the produced goods. I fail to remember how it fell apart, I think it was a drought.


The only other mentions of a "communist" society in history are two; a Greek philosopher's dream, a roman idea and a medieval concept.


One Greek philosopher, Aristotle if I remember correctly (I think I am wrong), proposed a communist society but the only way he saw to make it work was to have a caste of slave-workers. This is something you wouldn't allow as it defeats the purpose of "freeing the proletariat" you hold so dear.


The medieval system was known as, and I think you'll know this one, feudalism. The central idea of this is three castes; worker, warrior and mystic.

The workers toiled in the fields, in the mines, in the forges and tended to the needs of all three castes. Be it in food, tools, construction or whatever else they needed. They defended against hunger, homelessness and other such material threats.

The warriors, or nobles, held the roles of administrators, rulers and in most cases being the trained army to go and fight, or supply troops to fight, the king/dom's enemies. In return they lived good lives, in comfy homes, well fed, clothed and such by the workers efforts. In return they guarded them from threats of war, of banditry and managed the nation.

Finally we arrive to the last group; the priests or mystics. The church historically in Europe occupies this role. They performed many of the same roles as the nobles, functioning as administration, as state and more. For instance the church is responsible for the preservation of many older teachings, for many scientific, medical, sociological, biological and other such discoveries until the later part of the prior millennia. At which time the nobility became more intimately involved along with a rising middle class. The role of the priest though, historically was protection against the "magical" and the demonic. Admittedly superstitions but important to these people, enough for them to support a entire community of monks in some places.

Yet we know, that as perfect as this system sounds that it is flawed.

CONT!
>>
>>439238
>...Honestly, when have you taken a bath?
>>
>>439238
>He can smell COMMUNISM!


>>439255
It seems a waste that I wrote this out... I wasn't even finished!
>>
>>439255
I think your getting a little to invested in this anon.
>>
>>439262
I have many problems with communism.


Anyhow OP offered a bonus. Never offer me a bonus. I just spent like 25 minutes writing that out and I was only 3/5ths to 4/5ths of the way through!
>>
"He can smell communism!"

"...I'm going to take a bath then, Stojan."

"Oh. Well. Good job Comrade Pig, you convinced my wife to take a bath!"

It oinks happily, and looks up to you.

"...I still don't know why you want a pig as a pet."

Actions.

>...Well, when you get back I HAVE PROOF! PROOF I TELL YOU!
>...Can I help you take a bath? (Charisma, HARD)
>Comrade Pig, you are hereby appointed to the Secret Service of Polska, and your new task is to make sure Ivanka loves you, understand?
>...You don't really want to sleep on the bed tonight. It seems Ivanka is slightly irritated towards you.
>...Well, you can always convert your adopted daughter! (Charisma, HARD)
>...Go to sleep.
>Write-In
>>
>>439265
Welp, it is 15 minutes to six O'clock. I am not getting to sleep, do you think I should finish my write-in?
>>
>>439269
>Comrade Pig, you are hereby appointed to the Secret Service of Polska, and your new task is to make sure Ivanka loves you, understand?
>...Well, when you get back I HAVE PROOF! PROOF I TELL YOU!
>>
>>439269
>Comrade Pig, you are hereby appointed to the Secret Service of Polska, and your new task is to make sure Ivanka loves you, understand?
>...Well, you can always convert your adopted daughter! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>439269
>...Can I help you take a bath? (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>439269
>Comrade Pig, you are hereby appointed to the Secret Service of Polska, and your new task is to make sure Ivanka loves you, understand?
>...Well, when you get back I HAVE PROOF! PROOF I TELL YOU!
>>
"When you get back, you can't hide from the truth! You'll NEVER hide from the truth!"

"...Sure, comrade."

She begins to strut off, and you turn your glance to Comrade Pig.

"Comrade PIg, you are hereby appointed to the head of the secret service of Poland! Your new task is to make sure Ivanka loves you, understand?"

All it does is jump down from the bed and go into the next room. Oh well.

"...So."

You wait a few more minutes and eventually Ivanka comes back. She sits down and lays in the bed, trying to go to sleep.

"...Comrade, I am tired and I want sleep. If I hear you begin talking to me while I try to sleep you or I will sleep in the couch tonight."

Actions.

>That is no excuse! (Charisma, HARD)
>Oh, shit. She's probably pissed at you, time for bed.
>Goddamn it, fine. You'll talk to Pelevina instead.
>...Maybe Kutyovka will hear and understand your ranting about the communists and why they're so misguided...
>Write-In
>>
>>439296
>...Maybe Kutyovka will hear and understand your ranting about the communists and why they're so misguided...
>>
>>439296
>...Maybe Kutyovka will hear and understand your ranting about the communists and why they're so misguided...


We can use my writein when talking to her! Only another 1000 characters or so to go!
>>
>>439296
>Oh, shit. She's probably pissed at you, time for bed.

>>439314
Jesus Christ...
>>
"Fine then. I'll just take my rant somewhere else."

You get out of bed, and go into the living room, where Kutyovka is sleeping.

"Kutyovka, wake up!"

"...What is it... I'm trying to sleep."

"I need to take my frustrations out on someone who's not a communist, so just hang with me, alright?"

"I-It's early in the morning though, and I want to get some sleep."

Actions.

>I'm the alpha in this house, and you'll listen to me!
>...Sit on the couch. Then begin to vent.
>...Please, I just need you for a little bit.
>...If you listen I promise I'll show my appreciation, alright?
>...Fuck, just head back to bed.
>Write-In
>>
>>439337
>...If you listen I promise I'll show my appreciation, alright?
>>
>>439337
>...Sit on the couch. Then begin to vent.
>>
>>439341
This.
>>
>>439337
>...Sit on the couch. Then begin to vent.
>>
"Listen and I'll show my apperciation later, alright?"

"O-Ok."

You sit on her legs and begin to vent to her....

Communism is a system of governance which last saw effective use thousands of years ago. In small tribal groups where everyone was either family or going to be married into in a few generations. People couldn't betray each other and the only things to share were housing, food, fire and tools.

The moment complex civilisation took off, more complex than mere farming communities but ones filled with professional farmers and such, the system fell apart.

Only one example of a more complex society in the ages before now which managed such a feat exists. It had all citizens who were craftsmen; potters, smiths, fetchers, jewellers, tanners, carpenters and masons. Turn their produce into centralised warehouses, under armed guard to prevent theft. In return for producing the goods for every other citizen, they were given their needed food and part of the produced goods. I fail to remember how it fell apart, I think it was a drought.


The only other mentions of a "communist" society in history are two; a Greek philosopher's dream, a roman idea and a medieval concept.


One Greek philosopher, Aristotle if I remember correctly (I think I am wrong), proposed a communist society but the only way he saw to make it work was to have a caste of slave-workers. This is something you wouldn't allow as it defeats the purpose of "freeing the proletariat" you hold so dear.


The medieval system was known as, and I think you'll know this one, feudalism. The central idea of this is three castes; worker, warrior and mystic.

The workers toiled in the fields, in the mines, in the forges and tended to the needs of all three castes. Be it in food, tools, construction or whatever else they needed. They defended against hunger, homelessness and other such material threats!"

"...Oh. This is quite interesting. But why are you ranting to me?"

Actions.

>...I'm not done yet!
>...Really? It's interesting? Thank you!
>My wife doesn't want to hear it, she's a communist.
>...Well, your the only one in this household who isn't a communist pinko. I think. Are you?
>Write-In
>>
>>439350
>...Well, your the only one in this household who isn't a communist pinko. I think. Are you?

Is Pelevina a communist?
>>
>>439350
>...I'm not done yet!
Further explain why communism is the greatest evil
>>
>>439337
>Write-In
>>439255
Cont)

...The system is flawed because it lacked social and in some cases economic mobility. In other cases, it is caused by corruption in the warrior and mystic castes. Leading to them not fulfilling their roles or taking too much from the worker caste. This leads to the disgruntled rising up and bringing anarchy down on otherwise stable, if not perfect or efficient, systems.

It also suffers from a major problem. The warrior caste is now outdated. We have moved past the age of knights and their merry-men winning battles for the good kingdom and returning to their fair ladies hand. That ended when the guns and pike became effective enough, when machine-guns cut down an entire generation. Thus the warriors are left without purpose except to run the government which there is no reason for them to do if they lack any power.

Thus they are thrown out and replaced by a different leader, be it a rule by force, by intelligence, by vote and therefore by charisma.

This is before even mentioning the fact that religious groups, the mystics and priests, hold far less power in an ever more secular world. They are no longer the preservers of knowledge, the advances of science or society aren't attributed to them, they are instead a relic of a bygone age. Of monsters, magic, mages and other such tall tales. Thus they hold no power except that which their scripture, and their people, assign to them. Therefore they are a defunct but comforting and socially useful group. No longer in power.

Thus we are left with a different world where this form can't function. As two thirds of it have became defunct or disappeared under the hooves of dead horses and a hail of machine-gun fire.


The final system, the roman one, is based around a pair of concepts we now consider to be corruption and "bread and circuses". The idea was that in return for your vote for local governing positions or in the senate, you'd receive a "favour", a bribe by a far sweeter name. This concept is still in use today amongst such noble and humanitarian of organisations as the mafia.

The other idea, is that people won't care so long as they are fed and entertained, that we are like simple creatures to be taken care of in a mechanical and simplistic manner. That they will vote for the provider, that they'll "never bite the hand that feeds them". This concept still sees use today in democratic governance and such. The bribing of the public to gain their support.
>>
>>439350
>...I'm not done yet!

NOR AM I! --->>>439368
>>
"...Well, your the only one in this household who isn't a communist pinko. I think. Are you?"

"N-No."

"Oh, good."

"Continue, if you will.

"Right. Well... The warriors, or nobles, held the roles of administrators, rulers and in most cases being the trained army to go and fight, or supply troops to fight, the kingdom's enemies. In return they lived good lives, in comfy homes, well fed, clothed and such by the workers efforts. In return they guarded them from threats of war, of banditry and managed the nation.
Finally we arrive to the last group; the priests or mystics. The church historically in Europe occupies this role. They performed many of the same roles as the nobles, functioning as administration, as state and more. For instance the church is responsible for the preservation of many older teachings, for many scientific, medical, sociological, biological and other such discoveries until the later part of the prior millennia. At which time the nobility became more intimately involved along with a rising middle class. The role of the priest though, historically was protection against the "magical" and the demonic. Admittedly superstitions but important to these people, enough for them to support a entire community of monks in some places.
Yet we know, that as perfect as this system sounds that it is flawed..."


"How is it?"

"I'm getting to that, alright?"

"O-oh. Alright."

Actions.

>...Thank you for listening so far.
>...Pet her for being a good pet and listening!
>Would you care if I asked what ideology yo are?
>Remain silent while I speak, damn it!
>Could you remain silent, please?
>Write-In
>>
>>439368
This is like communism in that the people are all fed, housed and in this case entertained, by their rulers for their support.


I am done. For now.
>>
>>439350
>...Well, your the only one in this household who isn't a communist pinko. I think. Are you?

And

>My wife doesn't want to hear it, she's a communist..

With a touch of
>...Really? It's interesting? Thank you!

You made a political discussion with one side. Nice job QM. lol.
>>
>>439374
>Write-In
"Thank you for listening. I need to rant on occasion or it all gets to me."
>...Pet her for being a good pet and listening!
>>
>>439374
>...Thank you for listening so far.

>Would you care if I asked what ideology you are?

>...Pet her for being a good pet and listening!

In this order.
>>
>>439374
>...Pet her for being a good pet and listening!
>Would you care if I asked what ideology yo are?
>>
>>439378
To be fair, I am amazed no one in here has been in support of communism. It'd be more unacceptable than the human pretzel making if they liked Mao or Stalinist thought.
>>
>>439388
LoL. Right. Well, at least the arguement isnt happening. So we have that to celebrate.
>>
>>439382
Oh. I like that write in.
>>
>>439391
I suppose. What'd ya think of my communism argument though. It took me about an hour to write out in whole.
>>
>>439387
This.
>>
>>439395
I've honestly only read portions. Kinda just got here. Also I just realized I've been leaving my nametag from the quest I've been following.
>>
>>439400
Fair enough, it is about 5000 characters long. As to your name tag, many have taken to leaving theirs on in /qst/ because there is a lesser degree of anonymous-ness. Also a bit of laziness on their parts.
>>
"Aw, thank you for listening so far. I need to rant or it gets to me."

You rustle her hair. and pet her.

"T-Thank you. Why exactly do you do that?"

"...Well, it's adorable. Besides, that's what you do to pets, right?"

"Please don't remind me..."

"Anyways, what exact ideology are you?"

"...I don't really have a preference, so long as it isn't communism."

"Right... I'm going to continue, alright?"

You rub her blonde hair once again and continue on...

"...The system is flawed because it lacked social and in some cases economic mobility. In other cases, it is caused by corruption in the warrior and mystic castes. Leading to them not fulfilling their roles or taking too much from the worker caste. This leads to the disgruntled rising up and bringing anarchy down on otherwise stable, if not perfect or efficient, systems.
It also suffers from a major problem. The warrior caste is now outdated. We have moved past the age of knights and their merry-men winning battles for the good kingdom and returning to their fair ladies hand. That ended when the guns and pike became effective enough, when machine-guns cut down an entire generation. Thus the warriors are left without purpose except to run the government which there is no reason for them to do if they lack any power.
Thus they are thrown out and replaced by a different leader, be it a rule by force, by intelligence, by vote and therefore by charisma.
This is before even mentioning the fact that religious groups, the mystics and priests, hold far less power in an ever more secular world. They are no longer the preservers of knowledge, the advances of science or society aren't attributed to them, they are instead a relic of a bygone age. Of monsters, magic, mages and other such tall tales. Thus they hold no power except that which their scripture, and their people, assign to them. Therefore they are a defunct but comforting and socially useful group. No longer in power.
Thus we are left with a different world where this form can't function. As two thirds of it have became defunct or disappeared under the hooves of dead horses and a hail of machine-gun fire.
The final system, the roman one, is based around a pair of concepts we now consider to be corruption and "bread and circuses". The idea was that in return for your vote for local governing positions or in the senate, you'd receive a "favour", a bribe by a far sweeter name. This concept is still in use today amongst such noble and humanitarian of organisations as the mafia.
The other idea, is that people won't care so long as they are fed and entertained, that we are like simple creatures to be taken care of in a mechanical and simplistic manner. That they will vote for the provider, that they'll "never bite the hand that feeds them". This concept still sees use today in democratic governance and such. The bribing of the public to gain their support."


Continued in the next post, anons.
>>
>>439406

You take a deep breath.

"...It feels nice to get all of that out."

"...Your quite impassioned, honestly."

"...I am?"

"Y-Yeah."

"Oh, thank you. What exactly did you think of my rant?"

"Interesting, but you did switch from ranting about communism and begin ranting about feudalism half way through."

"Oh. Right."

"...You know, you have a lot of thoughts in your mind. Why exactly did you choose me, though? You could of ranted to your wife about them. I-I'm just some girl you kidnapped."

Actions.

>You aren't just "some girl" I kidnapped, alright?
>My wife doesn't really like me badmouthing communism.
>Because I didn't feel like getting kicked out of the bed.
>...Well, your nice and wouldn't interrupt me or anything. It's refreshing to be honest.
>Write-In
>>
>>439413
>You aren't just "some girl" I kidnapped, alright?
>>
>>439413
>You aren't just "some girl" I kidnapped, alright?
You're my very own human pet so you're family too!
>>
>>439421
I like this.
>>
>>439413
>Write-In
Because you looked like a puppy to me.

And no, I can't just rant at my mate. She has opinons and I have to respect them.

________________

I kinda see the MC as having a disconnect with humans at this point.
>>
"Well, you aren't just "some girl" I kidnapped, alright? You're my very own human pet, so you're family too!"

"...I-In a strange, twisted sense for a fuzzy killing machine of death, that forced me to eat people... That's kind of nice."

Actions.

>...Well, thank you.
>For a human, you aren't so bad!
>You won't believe how happy that makes me, honestly!
>...So, how exactly are you doing?
>I'm going to go back to bed. Sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night.
>Write-In
>>
>>439430
>For a human, you aren't so bad!
>You won't believe how happy that makes me, honestly!
>>
>>439430
>I'm going to go back to bed. Sorry for waking you up in the middle of the night.
>>
>>439432
This.
Maybe try rubbing her belly.
>>
>>439432
>>439435
>>
The Stockholm is strong up in here.
>>
"Yeah, well for a human, you aren't so bad!"

You begin to rub her belly, and it seems to have tickled her. She begins bursting out into laughing and tries to get you to stop, and she wipes tears away from her eyes when you finish.

"T-thank you... I haven't laughed at all since you... Well, kidnapped me."

"Don't worry about it, you won't believe how happy I am that you aren't angry at me!"

"I-I can see that. Your tail is wagging."

"It is?"

"Y-Yeah... Good night, Stojan."

You rub her hair, and begin to get up. That's when you feel your feet land on something. Paper, it seems. It sticks to your foot as you get up, and it seems she's heard the wrinkling of it.

"I-If you want, I could throw that away for you."

Actions.

>...No, I can.
>...Is there anything on it, first of all?
>Oh, thank you.
>Write-In
>>
>>439452
>...No, I can.
>...Is there anything on it, first of all?
>>
"...Is there anything on it, first of all?"

"N-No, of course not!"

You begin to unravel it, and see that it's just white paper... Huh. You throw it into the trashcan.

"...Why did you ask me what's on it?"

"...Well, I was thinking you were going to try and escape or something. Maybe an escape route or something."

"...Oh... Just wondering... What exactly would you do if I escaped?"

Actions.

>...Well, for betraying my trust... I would make sure to hurt you, slowly. (Lie)
>Well, for betraying my trust, I would make sure to hurt, slowly and painfully.
>I wouldn't hurt you at all, don't worry about it!
>...I would kill you. (Lie)
>I would kill you.
>Well, if you wanted to go I'd just let you go, to be honest. Nothing's keeping you here.
>...I would personally track you down and I would never let you outside again, do you understand?
>Write-In
>>
>>439460
>...Well, for betraying my trust... I would make sure to hurt you, slowly. (Lie)
We'll just lock her up long enough till she gets the Stockholm
>>
>>439460
For starters, id roll up a newspaper.
>>
"If you leave, I will hurt you, slowly. Don't even try it."

"...O-oh."

You leave the room, and can't help but wonder... Why exactly did she ask you that?

Actions.

>You should confront her about why she asked...
>Watch her once she thinks you go to bed.
>No, she knows what will happen to her if she escapes now. Go to bed.
>Write-In
>>
>>439471
>You should confront her about why she asked...
>>
>>439471
>You should confront her about why she asked...
>>
You re-enter the room.

"...Why exactly did you ask?"

"N-No reason, really."

She seems a little nervous...

Actions.

>...Come on, just tell me if you are planning to escape. You won't get in trouble, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>...If you have something planned, I recommend you tell me right now. You won't like me when I'm angry. (Intimidation)
>You are a terrible liar.
>...Act betrayed because she isn't telling you... (Charisma)
>...Well, alright I guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>439483
>...Come on, just tell me if you are planning to escape. You won't get in trouble, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5, additional +2 if you can list a reason for her to tell you.
>>
Rolled 12 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439490
It's just a joke I swear, I wouldn't hurt my pets. Comrade piggy and you are just too qt
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439490
Hug her and whisper sweer nothings in her ear.
>>
Rolled 4 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439490
>You know I'd never hurt you. You're too cute and pure.
>>
>>439490
Because I reward honesty.

Quick, someone take the plus five.
>>
15+2=17

Borderline Success!

"...It's just a joke, alright? You know I'd never hurt you or my pets, you're just too cute and pure."

"...I am planning to escape, alright?"

"...Oh." Your previously wagging tail stops.

"P-please don't be like that... I don't hate you or anything... If it makes you feel better I-I'll stay..."

Actions.

>...It's fine, alright?
>Thank you for telling me, did you think I was going to hurt you?
>This is your home now, alright?
>Well... I partially lied. Your going to stay in the closet for a while, alright?
>...Aw, are you actually worrying about me?
>...Oh, I can't be mad with you.
>It's a good thing you told me. You are a terrible liar.
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 16 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439501
Roll and you might get a crit.
Warming up these dice.
>>
>>439509
>...Oh, I can't be mad with you.
Also tell her it's her new home now.
>>
>>439509
>This is your home now, alright?
>...Aw, are you actually worrying about me?
>>
>>439509
>This is your home now, alright?

Good human.
>>
"This is your new home now, alright?"

"...I want to go home, Stojan... I don't want to be locked up here."

"...Are you actually worrying about me?"

"I-I just don't want to see you angry... N-Not... Not like last time." She can't help but tear up at remembering.

What exactly did happen anyways?

Actions.

>...Don't be like that, I'm only like that to my enemies, alright?
>Now, if only all humans could be as obedient as you...
>...Come on... I'll cook you a treat, how does a beef cube sound? I still have left overs from the picnic.
>...Oh, goddamn it... Go over there and bear-hug her. She needs it.
>Write-In
>>
>>439519
>...Oh, goddamn it... Go over there and bear-hug her. She needs it.
Do it all the way till morning
>>
>>439521
This.
>>
"...Goddamn it, human."

You go over there and begin hugging her. She can't help but tear up and cry into your shoulder for a few minutes. Not really the bear hug of eternity you were looking for.

"T-Thank you... I-I just don't like remembering that night, alright?"

"...If I'll be honest, I don't really remember it either."

"Yeah..."

Actions.

>...If it makes you feel better, you are very good at emotions compared to my wife.
>...You make a good pet, human.
>...You know what, I think you need to relieve some stress... Why don't you try petting me? I learned from Sedov that it's "therapeutic." or something.
>You know, I've got to find some criminals for the family to eat soon... Why don't you help me out?
>...So, would you be up for being transformed into a werewolf?
>Write-In
>>
>>439539
>...If it makes you feel better, you are very good at emotions compared to my wife.
>>
>>439539
>...You make a good pet, human.
>...You know what, I think you need to relieve some stress... Why don't you try petting me? I learned from Sedov that it's "therapeutic." or something.
We need to cheer her up.
>>
>...You make a good pet, human.
>>
>>439544
>You know, I've got to find some criminals for the family to eat soon... Why don't you help me out?
Add this too, a little bonding session wouldn't hurt
>>
>>439549
This.
>>
>>439549
>>439551
I just think that might backfire. Oh well, your vote.
>>
>>439554
Oh, right. Let's remove the eat part. We can be a crime fighting duo.
>>
"You make a good pet, human. If only more of your kind was like you."

"...I have a question, Stojan..."

"What is it?"

"You were human once... You almost sound like you don't really think of humans as equals or something... I mean, you have me, a human as a pet..."

Actions.

>...Oh, don't worry... Humanity is an outdated concept anyways.
>Well, I think you humans make good pets, so maybe in the future you'll have some friends to play with!
>Well, even if I was a human I'd make you my pet!
>Well, nothing quite like telling her werewolves are superior to humans. (Charisma)
>Write-In
>>
>>439566
>Well, nothing quite like telling her werewolves are superior to humans. (Charisma)
>>
>>439566
>Well, even if I was a human I'd make you my pet!
>>
"Well, even if I was a human I'd make you my pet!"

"O-oh."

"But yeah, werewolves are superior to humans. Why don't you know this?"

"...I've been locked in your house for a while..."

Roll me a 1d20+5, additional +2 for FACTS and persuasive arguments!
>>
Rolled 7 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439573
>>
Rolled 9 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439573
Check these sweet numbers.
>>
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439573
Superior physical attributes mixed with all the charm a doggo can muster yet still retaining all the mental faculties of any old human. Once we're done solving the human eating issue theres no other creature more perfect
>>
Rolled 1 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>439573
We're stronger (flexes)
>>
>>439585
Oh boy.
>>
1+7=8

Critical Failure!

"Well, I'm way stronger, charismatic, and just as smart as any old human. Once us werewolves solve the eating issue, there's no creature more prefect then us!"

"Well... What exactly do you intend for humans? I d-don't want to live in a world dominated by werewolves..."

Actions.

>...What are you, racist?
>Oh, don't worry, your species will remain the same as it is...
>Your species will be little more then pets to us. Well-kept pets, that is.
>Humanity will be gone, and replaced with Wolfmanity!
>Write-in
>>
>>439590
;^)
>>
>>439594
>...What are you, racist?
Might as well go full wewuz
>>
>>439597
This.
>>
>>439594
>...What are you, racist?
Besides the relationship between our races will be one of mutualism. We may hold positions of power as the dominant race but humans will be well protected under our rule though freedom may be optional.
>>
"What are you, racist?"

"That doesn't even make sense, I was asking you a question."

"...Well, I'll have you know that us werewolves were kings! Remember the tales of King Arthur? Well, he was a werewolf!"

"That's the most retarded thing I've ever heard."

"It's the truth!"

"It's not, holy hell, King Arthur was obviously a human, where the fuck is your proof? Your just randomly stating things hoping that it'll give you some sort of intellectual basis, but that shit doesn't fly with me, alright you... You... dog?"

"...Did you just call me a dog?"

She looks a little ashamed.

"...O-Oh. I'm sorry, Stojan... It's just that I'm passionate about history... Don't get mad, please."

Actions.

>...What the fuck? I thought you weren't racist for a human!
>...I know, I'm just making shit up... Right?
>You can't handle the truth!
>That's extremely derogatory! How would you like it if I called you a hairless ape?
>Write-In
>>
File: image.jpg (519 KB, 973x1285)
519 KB
519 KB JPG
>>439609
>You can't handle the truth!
>>
>>439609
>That's extremely derogatory! How would you like it if I called you a hairless ape?
Perhaps tickle her to ease up tension.
>>
"You can't handle the truth!"

"You haven't even answered my original question!"

"Yeah, well you just called me a dog, you hairless ape!"

"So? That doesn't change the truth that you have canine genes and I have genes which may originate from apes."

"Oh yeah?"

"You know I'm right."

You begin to tickle her.

"G-God damn it! S-Stop! Please!"

"Not until you apologize!"

"I-I'm sorry! Please!"

You stop tickling her and let go. Her laughing stops.

"S-So... Sorry about yelling at you there for a second..."

Actions.

>It's fine, alright? I would be angry if someone said Charlemagne wasn't a werewolf also...
>It's fine, you don't have to be so worried that I'm going to flip out on you.
>It's nice to see you aren't a complete pushover.
>Never yell at me again, pet.
>...Well, let me answer your question then... (Specify)
>Write-In
>>
>>439624
>It's fine, you don't have to be so worried that I'm going to flip out on you.
>>
>>439624
>It's fine, you don't have to be so worried that I'm going to flip out on you.
>>
"Come on, you don't have to be so worried that I'm going to flip out on you, alright?"

"...Alright... I guess."

"Good. Now, how would you feel about... Well, going outside and helping me stop crime?"

"Erh... I'm just a medic. I've never used a gun before."

Actions.

>Gun? Please, that's for pansies!
>Here, you can use my M249, or my MG42!
>No, you'll just watch me alright?
>...On second thought, this is a bad idea.
>Write-In
>>
>>439632
>...On second thought, this is a bad idea.
>>
>>439633
What's your stance on this. It would be nice if she got out of the house for a bit and saw us trying to help the community.
>>
"Actually, this is a bad idea... Nevermind."

"...Oh."

Actions.

>...Why don't you sleep with us in the bedroom? It's probably more comfy then the couch.
>I'm going to bed, alright?
>...So, let me answer your question from earlier about what place humans have...
>...So, are you still eating human meat?
>Write-In
>>
>>439640
>...Why don't you sleep with us in the bedroom? It's probably more comfy then the couch.
>>
>>439640
>...Why don't you sleep with us in the bedroom? It's probably more comfy then the couch.
I prefer keeping her in
>>
"Come on, why don't you sleep with us in the bedroom? It's probably more comfy then the couch?."

"O-Oh. Sure, I guess."

You drag her into the bedroom, and lay down. She seems a little... Hesitant about climbing in.

"What's wrong?"

"...There's no room. And I looks more like a sea of porcupines then anything.""

Actions.

>...Oh, come on. Just get infront of me and I'll protect you via cuddling.
>...Just climb ontop of me, with the pig.
>...I guess you can just sleep on the couch. Besides, this is a bad idea, because if you scratch her during your sleep... Well, you might turn her into a werewolf.
>...Well, shit. I could lay with you tonight, I guess.
>Write-In
>>
>>439651
>...Just climb ontop of me, with the pig.
>>
>>439651
>...I guess you can just sleep on the couch. Besides, this is a bad idea, because if you scratch her during your sleep... Well, you might turn her into a werewolf.
Explain this to her.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

1=Climb ontop of me.
2=Oh shit, sorry.
>>
"Just climb ontop of me, alright?"

"Alright, I guess..."

She climbs ontop of you, and you put a blanket over her... Roll me a 1d20 to see if you accidentally infect during your sleep.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>439656
Is high good or bad
>>
>>439658
High is good.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>439656
>>
18

Great Success!

You successfully avoid infecting Kutyovka...

A week goes by...

You have a few issues requiring your attention.

>The promise to the Democracy Party.
>Dealing with the Communist Party.
>You need to reduce the upper-classes dislike of you... But how?
>Poland needs a proper police force... But who should lead it?
>You know, maybe you should talk to Karkmann on why you evolved, and how it works.
>Maybe you should overlook the army a little, eh?
>Write-In
>>
>>439667
>Maybe you should overlook the army a little, eh?
>>
>>439673
This, and the police force.
>>
Well, you suppose it's time to oversee the army a little.

Your army is currently minuscule and relies mostly on a militia system. The only professional forces were the men who you infected so far and fought with you during the resistance.

Actions.

>You should probably try to get the Americans to help modernize your army.
>You should probably clear up the laws regarding the army.
>You need professional soldiers, see about getting a true standing army together.
>First off, you should set up some buildings so the army isn't just resting outside.
>You should probably see about securing a way to gain firearms and ammunition.
>Write-In
>>
>>439678
>First off, you should set up some buildings so the army isn't just resting outside.
>You should probably try to get the Americans to help modernize your army.
>>
Sorry anons, but I'm going to pass out now.
>>
>>439680
This.
>>439685
Sleep tight, QM.
>>
>>439685
I would like to state that I didn't randomly start ranting about feudalism half way through. I was showing that communism isn't a new concept and that in every interpretation it has failed as time went on. Be it because of technological progress, economic change, religion and various other reasons.

Communism is, at the core, of a similar mind to that of feudalism.
>>
What the hell did I just come back to... We ranted about communism and are still trying to have a human pet. Fuck.

>>439998
Also to your points I think in the future due to a rise in automation a system similar to communism may be acceptable. However, I don't think gesticulating at the moment can really do shit, although theorizing about it is fun. It would only be attainable in a world where people were united, and unfortunately, that will never happen. It would also require we have automation to take care of resources, and a unified world government that would take care of only taking care of the machines and making sure people could get whatever resources they wanted. It'll never happen.
>>
Sure is slow today.
>>
Hopefully he didn't die
>>
Alright anons, I'm back.

You decide you should probably start to build up the army in case the Americans get pushed back by the soviets... Of course, in order to do this you'll need some buildings for your men to sleep in.

Right now, your men just sleep infront of City Hall...

Choices.

>Expand the Command Bunker to have a barracks. (Cost: 6 Million)
>Build a Barracks! (Cost: 1 Million)
>Start confiscating houses from some humans. (Cost: Human Respect)
>Order bunkhouses to be built for the soldiers. They may be shit, but at least they get roofs... (Cost: 50k)
>Just set up some tents. (Cost: 20k)
>Whaaat? Your soldiers don't need housing?
>Well, you guess you can always put more people in your house...
>Write-In

Your Treasury is 15k
>>
>>441177
>>Build a Barracks! (Cost: 1 Million)
How dead were you?
>>
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>>441177
>Build a Barracks! (Cost: 1 Million)

You had me worried there. I thought you got caught using a butter knife or something.
>>
>>441177
>Build a Barracks! (Cost: 1 Million)
>>441209
Could have been caught with a tactical pumpkin carving knife.
>>
>>441200

I had an interesting time trying to get some fucking amazing apple juice.

>>441209
Yeah, I found a butter knife and decided to renact Braveheart, of fucking course.
>>
>>441217
>I had an interesting time trying to get some fucking amazing apple juice.
That sounds fuckin great, what happened?
>>
You order the construction of a barracks, but since you lack that money you have a few choices on HOW to get some more money.

Actions.

>...Well, you could always tell Kutyvoka or Pelevina to get a job.
>Maybe you should go to one of the banks.
>What? You don't need money, you'll just wait a while
>...You should probably ask the Americans for foreign aid.
>Write-In
>>
>>441227
>...Well, you could always tell Kutyvoka or Pelevina to get a job.
>>
>>441227
Go after some criminals and take their money.
>>
>>441226
So, on the other side of London there's a store selling some really fucking great apple juice, but in order to get there I have to go through fucking Sharia Law ground, while keeping my mouth shut. It was an absolutely subversive and diversifying experience.
>>
>>441234
We could go treasure hunting again. Treasure hunting is always a viable option in quests. Unless if QM says otherwise.
>>
Gonna wait ten more minutes anons.
>>
>>441237
>Diversity
You're triggering me goddamnit. How bad was it, just typical Muslim territory in London or was it more of a white "diversity" type thing? My da grew up in Harrow back in the days of Thatcher, and he knows what's up.

>>441244
Switching to this
>>
>>441237
Must have been a very culturally enriching experience.

But really those places actually fucking exist?
>>
Treasure Hunting wins... Alright anons, roll me a 1d20+1

>>441257
They exist, some fucking Muslim street gang puts up the Sharia Law zones sometimes, while the bobbies don't do shit. Sometimes the bobbies put UP the signs for the Sharia law zones. Never seen it personally.

>>441255
Typical Muslim territory, kind of like how Americans treat the ghetto for me, stay down and get the fuck out.
>>
Rolled 20 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441276
Oh shit, the worst then. Sorry you had to go through that then.
>>
>>441285
I'm fucking done. I guess the Indiana Jones hat REALLY DOES FUCKING MAKE ONE INDIANA JONES
>>
Rolled 5 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441276
I wonder what would happen if they tried pulling that shit over here in the usa.
>>
>>441299
>>441285
It's called the power of rejecting mudslimes.
>>
20+1=21

Critical Success

You decide to ADVENTURE into the woods, and after a few hours of searching you see a stone castle... Along with a few soviet trucks outside. How come they are always there first whenever you hunt for treasure? As you look around the castle, you see there's two entrances, a ruined section of the castle wall you could climb up, and a gatehouse which you could attempt to jump across. Too bad you can't really pounce anymore, that would make this a hell of a lot easier. Of course, it's surrounded by a dry moat. It would hurt a little if you fell.

Actions.

>...Well, slice the wheels first off.
>Maybe there's identifying insignia of what exactly division is here investigating this castle?
>Get a running start and try to jump across. (Agility, HARD)
>Try to climb up the castle wall. Even if it might take a while. (Strength)
>...Start up a truck, throw a stone on the pedal, and take a different approach to a running jump. (Agility, RISKY)
>This castle is fucking creepy, hell no.
>>
>>441329
>>Get a running start and try to jump across. (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>441329
>...Well, slice the wheels first off.
>Get a running start and try to jump across. (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>441329
>Try to climb up the castle wall. Even if it might take a while. (Strength)

We have a +6 bonus when it comes to strength.
>>
Roll me a 1d20+1 to avoid breaking your legs.
>>
Rolled 9 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441342
>>
Rolled 1 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441342
>>
Rolled 17 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441342
>>
>>441353
rip our legs
>>
1+1=2

Critical Failure!

You jump across to get to the gatehouse, only to hit your head straight on it's stone floor and sending you to the bottom of the pit... (-15 HP)

Roll me a 1d20 for how severe your injury is.
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>441367
>>
Rolled 14 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441367
Will this be the end of Stojan and his adventures?
>>
Rolled 6 (1d20)

>>441367
>>
14

As you hit the ground, you attempt to get up... You have a headache and your fairly sure you've sprained your left leg. (-1 to Agility, Strength, and Intelligence until healed.)

Actions.

>...Well, you need to climb out of the moat somehow. (Strength)
>Try to climb up the castle wall! (Strength)
>...Maybe there's a second entrance down here? If your lucky, that is. (Intelligence)
>Write-In
>>
>>441388
>Try to climb up the castle wall! (Strength)
>>
>>441388
>Try to climb up the castle wall! (Strength)

>1388
So close...
>>
Roll me a 1d20+5
>>
Rolled 19 + 5 (1d20 + 5)

>>441398
>>
19+5=24

Great Success!

You begin to dig your claws into the dirt and climb slowly up the castle wall. It hurts like hell, and eventually when you come to the top you need to rest for a little bit. You find yourself starving, and otherwise miserable since it decide to begin raining. Great..

You get up and see that the castle has a central keep, a broken-into armory, and what seems to be an open window right by the keep. You don't really see any other way in.

Actions.

>...Investigate the armory!
>Hang on, maybe you can make the jump into the keep! (Agility, HARD)
>...Hop down, which will hurt like a motherfucker, then try to climb up the Keep's walls into the open window. (Strength, HARD)
>Write-In

You are currently Starving.
>>
>>441414
>...Investigate the armory!
>>
>>441414
>>...Investigate the armory!
>>
>>441414
>...Investigate the armory!

Hopefully there's some conscripts to munch on
>>
You investigate the armory, and see it's doors were kicked in. You see a fireplace rudimentary made in the center of the room, along with a dozen conscripts doing various things.

Actions.

>...Listen closely, maybe they'll tell you why they are there.
>...Pop out and surprise them! (Intimidation)
>...Maybe you can try to lure someone out? (Charisma)
>...Try to climb up onto the roof. (Strength)
>...Fuck, get out your machine guns and prepare to open fire! (Machinegunning!)
>Write-In
>>
>>441444
>...Listen closely, maybe they'll tell you why they are there.
>>
>>441444
>>...Pop out and surprise them! (Intimidation)
>>
>>441445
switching
>>
>>441444
>...Pop out and surprise them! (Intimidation)
>>
You decide to listen in before doing nothing.

It takes a little bit, but soon a female soldier opens the door, and the soldiers inside give a salute to her. You notice that they have a different styled soviet uniform, more... Disciplined with bright colors.

"How are radio transmissions going with the front?"

"We're behind enemy lines, and all of our transmissions are lost."

"Damn it. It's only a matter of time before we get caught out here with our pants up."

"Yes, Căpitan Daciana."

"So, the Russians aren't moving up?"

"Our scout forces report they are being kicked back, Căpitan."

"...Damn it. How are we on breaching into the keep? We need a more defensible location before we're found."

"Our makeshift breaching charges aren't doing anything, Căpitan Daciania."

"Have you tried removing the hinges?"

"There were no hinges, Căpitan."

The female captain swears in some foreign language.

"Have we made any leeway in securing fuel to at least fall back?"

"No, Căpitan, we're too far from civilization to actually find any."

"...Will the Russians at least give us a supply drop?"

"No, Căpitan. They say that the Romanian armed forces aren't worth their time to supply."

"Who the fuck is leading their incompetent army?!"

Actions.

>...Well, maybe it's time to pop out, if you will. (Intimidation)
>...Maybe you can seclude the captain off for interrogation. Wait for her to go on patrol or something.
>Machinegun frenzy! (Machinegunning)
>...Rush in and RIP AND TEAR! (Strength, HARD)
>Lure someone out. (Charisma)
>...Maybe you should listen further.
>Write-In
>>
>>441486
>>...Rush in and RIP AND TEAR! (Strength, HARD)
>>
>>441486
>Machinegun frenzy! (Machinegunning)

In the case of a tie though I will support rip and tear.
>>
>>441486
>...Rush in and RIP AND TEAR! (Strength, HARD
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3
>>
Rolled 17 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441494
>>
Rolled 7 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441494
>>
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441494
>>
>>441501
>>441494
Holy fuck, we really are Indiana Jones. Get ourselves into bad situations circa the nat 1, but do amazingly in fighting off baddies with accents.
>>
20+3=23

Critical Success!

You barge through the door, grabbing conscripts, eating, tearing, and causing chaos. You throw one conscript through the wall and he's knocked the fuck out. Meanwhile, the female captain has opened fired with two of the surviving soldiers. The Captain scores a great hit right on your chest. (-25 HP), but her soldiers miss like hell.

Actions.

>...Go after the captain, she'll pay for fucking shooting you.
>Finish off the rest of the soldiers!
>Write-In
>>
>>441510
>...Go after the captain, she'll pay for fucking shooting you.
>>
>>441510
>...Go after the captain, she'll pay for fucking shooting you.
>>
>>441510
>>...Go after the captain, she'll pay for fucking shooting you.
F-f-f-facemelting!
>>
You walk towards the captain, the two Romanian soldiers fleeing and shooting at you, dealing some good damage. (-60 HP), the captain aims carefully towards you head and fires, but it clips off, but hurts like fucking hell... You already have a fucking headache. (-5 HP) You are standing right in front of her... What do?

Actions.

>Knock her out for interrogation! (Strength)
>Grab her, and massacre her soldiers! (Strength, HARD)
>Nom. (Strength)
>Just a casual maiming. Or two. (Agility)
>Grab her and throw her at one of her soldiers! (Strength)
>Rip off her face! (Strength)
>Write-In
>>
>>441521
>Nom. (Strength)
>>
>>441521
>Knock her out for interrogation! (Strength)
Let's see what exactly is here
>>
>>441521
>Just a casual maiming. Or two. (Agility)
>>
Rolled 1 (1d3)

Rolling
>>
1=Interrogate.
2=Nom.
3=Maim

I once again forget, kill me.

Roll me a 1d20+3 for knock out!
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441550
>>
Waiting five more minutes for rolls.
>>
Rolled 5 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441550
>>
Rolled 1 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441550
>>
Rolled 4 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441550
>>
>>441573
>>441580
Fuck you too 4chin for not showing my post even after refreshing the page and updating the thread like 50 times.
>>
1+3=4

Critical Failure!

You swing your fist over her head, and get shot straight in the head, knocking you over. (-120 HP), and two more shots find themselves lodged in your chest. (-50 HP)

You find it hard to stand again, and the captain has approached you, aiming her Nagnat pistol at your head.

Actions.

>...Surrender, no need to get your head blasted off.
>...Fucking resist, damn it! (Strength, VERY HARD, RISKY)
>...Try to make a run for it! (Agility)
>Write-In

Your current HP is 50
>>
>>441608
Surrender.
One failed roll and we're dead dead.
>>
>>441608
>...Try to make a run for it! (Agility)

Or

>...Surrender, no need to get your head blasted off.
>>
>>441608
>...Surrender, no need to get your head blasted off.

I mean personally we should've just nommed her since we already heard their current situation. Besides we rolled a 1 on deciding and nomming her was the first option.
>>
You put your hands up and growl out a surrender. She looks very, very tempted to shoot you right now, but calms down, and begins to restrain you... Then shoots you in the kneecaps. (-20 HP, Will move extremely slowly)

"Ow! What the fuck!? I surrendered!"

"And I'm not taking any chances."

Actions.

>...Fuck you! I sprained my leg earlier today!
>...I have to admire your efficiency.
>Let me out and I promise I won't massacre your men.
>...Please let me out?
>Write-In
>>
>>441637
>Write-In
"As much as I understand, I am still going to complain about being fucking immobilised. Potentially permanently."
>>
>>441637
>As much as I understand, I am still going to complain about being fucking immobilised. Potentially permanently
>...I have to admire your efficiency.

Maybe also compliment her on her looks. She might be egotistical which can play to our advantage.
>>
"...As much as I understand, I'm still going to complain about being fucked immobilised. Potentially permanently. But good job on the efficiency part... And I must say, you look rather beautiful, the wa-"

You get hit with the butt of a rifle, and you spit out some blood.

"If you continue talking I will sever your tail, understand?"

You whine.

"Good. Now, if you play nice and tell me everything I need to know, I'll just settle for roughing you up and dumping you in the forest somewhere. You refuse and I'll play the hard way, understand?"

Actions.

>Come on, you have something against me complimenting your looks? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Ha! Let me go and I might not kill you!
>I'll talk, alright?
>I'll never tell you, damn it! I've gone through worse.
>Write-In
>>
>>441663
>Write-In
"I see the stick, where is the fucking carrot? Fine you want information, what the hell do you isolated Russian-war-slaves want?"
>>
>>441663
>I'll talk, alright?

We can just lie and come back as Nicolae or something.
>>
"I see the stick, where is the fucking carrot? Yo want information, fine. What the hell do you want?"

"First off, I want to know how you found us."

"I just was searching for money in the forest, and I came across this place, alright?"

"So the Polish don't know we're here."

"I guess, God."

"Good. You two, get the emergency fuel rations out and start fueling up the truck, I think we've overstayed our visit."

"Yes ma'am."

"Now, tell me, who are you?"

Actions.

>...I'm just some soldier, alright?
>I'm the King of Poland, damn it!
>I'm just a hunter, alright?
>...Name's Stojan Kopanski. Pleased to meet you.
>Write-In
>>
>>441699
>...Name's Stojan Kopanski. Pleased to meet you.

Use this opportunity to see if people know who we are by name.
>>
>>441699
>...Name's Stojan Kopanski. Pleased to meet you.
>>
"Name's Stojan Kopanski, pleased to meet you."

"...I am Căpitan Daciania, Romanian "volunteers" Armed Forces. Previously Romanian Iron Guard."

"...Oh. Great."

"Now, of course, I want you to tell me about where Ivanka Romanov is, I have orders from high command that YOU might know where she is."

Actions.

>...Well, we're getting married. Isn't that nice?
>That's classified information.
>...I'll be willing to show you if you surrender to me.
>Write-In
>>
>>441728
>Write-In
"Well I can give you the good news, the bad news or the werewolf wife news. Which do you want first?"
>>
>>441728
>I don't know who you're talking about. If she served in the red army then I may have met her and killed her or I may have not. She would just be another enemy to me.
>>
>>441728
>I don't know who you're talking about. If she served in the red army then I may have met her and killed her or I may have not. She would just be another enemy to me.
>>
"I don't know who you're talking about. If she served in the Red Army then I might of met her and killed her, or I may of not. She would be just another enemy to me."

Roll me a 1d20+1 to see if you can lie.
>>
Rolled 13 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441747
>>
Rolled 11 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>441747
>>
13+1=14

Minor Failure!

"I don't believe you. I explicitly remember you in the briefing. Tell me, or I'll be forced to escalate this."

Actions.

>...Fine, tell her the truth.
>Ha, please. I'd like to see you hurt me.
>...Maybe you can charm her to believe you? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>You do it and I will cave your skull in when I'm fucking out. (Intimidation, VERY HARD)
>Fuck, try to break free from the bindings. (Strength, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>441758
>...Fine, tell her the truth.
>>
>>441758
>...Fine, tell her the truth.
>>
>>441761
This.
>>
"Fine, I turned her into a werewolf and made her my wife, damn it."

"Thank you for telling me. Now, I believe you might have some rather angry in-laws looking for you."

"Oh shit..."

"And I'm fairly sure I'll get to go home early if I return with you."

Actions.

>...Come on, please. You told me if I worked with you that you'd just dump me in the forest, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>I can offer you something a little better then just going home early... Why don't you work for me? (Charisma, HARD)
>Spit blood in her face, if you get lucky you might infect her. (Agility, HARD)
>Fuck, fine. I'm not afraid of her in-laws.
>...Listen, I'm newlywed... Just let me go, and I won't come back for you, alright? (Charisma, HARD
>Write-In
>>
>>441779
>I can offer you something a little better then just going home early... Why don't you work for me? (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>441779
>Spit blood in her face, if you get lucky you might infect her. (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>441779
>Spit blood in her face, if you get lucky you might infect her. (Agility, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20-2
>>
>>441779
>Write-In
>...Come on, please. You told me if I worked with you that you'd just dump me in the forest, alright? (Charisma, HARD)


"Or is your word worth nothing to you?"
>>
Rolled 11 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441794
Lycanthropy is technically an STD.
>>
Rolled 4 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441794
We're (possibly) metaphorically fucked
>>
Rolled 13 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441794
>>
Rolled 2 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441794
Check this save.
>>
>>441797
>>441798
>>441801
>>441803
We're definitely (metaphorically) fucked now.
>>
13-2=11

Great Failure!

You spit blood but you miss, and get it in her hair. She gets up slowly.

"Are you trying to fucking infect me?"

"...Erh, no?"

"Yeah, I got debriefed on modes of infection and I think you are."

She goes over, and gets a bag out, and ties it over your head.

"You'll enjoy this next bit."

"What the fuck is it?"

"Just personal satisfaction for my men, you monster."

Actions.

>...What the fuck are you doing?
>Come on! Don't do this, I'll stop resisting, please! (Charisma)
>I-I regret killing your men, alright?
>Come on, don't do this. Why don't you work with me? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>Fuck, try to break out of the bindings... (Body)
>Write-In
>>
>>441814
>>Fuck, try to break out of the bindings... (Body)
We are the most pitiful wolf ever! What happened to being the superior race!
>>
>>441814
>Write-In
"I hold no regrets about killing those who serve under the red banner. Take your rage out on me and think like a fucking soldier, rather than like a brat who's favourite toys have been broken."
>>
>>441814
>Fuck, try to break out of the bindings... (Body)
>>
Roll me a 1d20+3

Is it just me, or is this reminding me of the last Indiana Jones film in a sense?
>>
Rolled 2 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441822
For the LOOT!!
>>
Rolled 6 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441822
>>
Rolled 9 + 3 (1d20 + 3)

>>441822
>>
9+3=12

Great Failure!

You attempt to break out of your bonds to show this bitch who's boss, until she of course smashes you over the head with a glass bottle, worsening your headache. Of course, this is followed up by a punch to the face, breaking one of your teeth. She takes off the bag, and you spit out your tooth. (-10 HP) Blood at this point, is coming out of your mouth and you cough up a little.

"...Well, now I have a new question. Where are you keeping Ivanka Romanov?"

Actions.

>Fuck off!
>...She's dead, alright? (Charisma, HARD)
>I'll fucking kill you once I get out of these bindings, damn it! (Intimidation, VERY HARD)
>...Come on. I know you can be a nice person. Let me go, alright? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...She's in my house, alright?
>...Ha, she's left herself open to another blood in the face technique! (Agility, HARD)
>Keep trying to break the bonds! (Body, HARD)
>Write-In
>>
>>441848
>Write-In
"In the rebel held town, of her own will I would add, in my house. The town contains roughly a few hundred werewolfs, a few thousand human militia men and until now, me."
>>
>>441848
>...Ha, she's left herself open to another blood in the face technique! (Agility, HARD)
>>
>>441848
Urgh, how about we implie that we are keeping her against her will and she will gladly go with the captain if she is offered. Then Ivanka can murder her for us!
>>
>>441861
This is a good idea.
>>
>>441848
>...Ha, she's left herself open to another blood in the face technique! (Agility, HARD)
>>
Roll me a 1d20-2
>>
Rolled 4 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441872
I swear I'm having panic attack every I'm about to roll. This shot is intense.
>>
Rolled 3 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441872
>>
Rolled 19 - 2 (1d20 - 2)

>>441872
Alright, no more fucking around. Check these sweet numbers.
>>
>>441883
YAYAYAYA our saviour!
>>
>>441883
There is a God!
>>
File: Spoiler Image (52 KB, 432x303)
52 KB
52 KB JPG
>>441883
>>
19-2=17

Success!

You spit blood straight into her mouth.

"Goddamn it... I can't believe I fell for that..."

She falls on the ground and begins transforming. Her two remaining men are luckily fueling up the truck, and she stands back up.

"...I'd fucking kill you if I could, you son of a fucking bitch..." she continues muttering swear words at you.

Actions.

>Come on, release me already.
>Kill your men, then come talk to me, alright?
>Time to laugh at her for falling for it.
>Tell her to get her men to come back here.
>Write-In
>>
>>441905
>Kill your men, then come talk to me, alright?
>>
>>441905
>Write-In
"Release me, go to your men and go back to the god damn soviets."
>>
>>441909
This.
>>
>>441905
>Come on, release me already.

Remember the part about people with strong will, like SS, being more free willed. She's apperantly former iron guard which are Romanian brownshirts or blackshirts.
>>
>>441923
Oh shit, this then.
>>
"Come on, release me already."

She begrudgingly comes over and helps you out of the bindings. You fall over on the ground, unable to move.

"Help me up, alright?"

She sighs, and begins to sling you over her shoulder, barely being able to carry you.

Actions.

>Come on, get us out of here.
>...Go after your men, alright?
>You know, you aren't so bad as a werewolf.
>Write-In
>>
>>441935
>Come on, get us out of here.
>>
>>441935
>You know, you aren't so bad as a werewolf.
>Come on, get us out of here.
>>
>>441942
This.
>>
>>441935
>You know, you aren't so bad as a werewolf.
We should at least remember this place. We came here for treasure after all.
>>
>>441935
>Come on, get us out of here.
>>
"You know, you aren't so bad as a werewolf."

She growls but says nothing.

"Alright, fine. Be like that. Just get me out of here already."

She carefully sneaks out, avoiding her two men. Eventually you find yourself in the forest.

Actions.

>...Come on, make camp for the night. I'm not giving up on the treasure here.
>So, continue towards the city, I'll give you directions.
>...I'm fucking starving. Do you have any food?
>Write-In
>>
>>441952
>So, continue towards the city, I'll give you directions.
>>
>>441955
This. We can go back to the castle when we're patched up. Or we can tell Ivanka about it.
>>
"Just head towards the city, I'll give you directions."

After a long silence, with you giving the occasional instruction, she trips over a branch, sending you to the ground.

"Come on, be more careful."

"...That's fucking hard when I'm trying to carry a several-hundred pound werewolf and you haven't slept for two days out of stress."

"Fucking calm down, alright?"

"...I'm going to make camp for the night, otherwise we'll get lost."

"Come on, we'll be back there in only a few hours."

"...If the two of us were walking. You're injured, I'm exhausted. I'm fucking taking a break for a while."

Actions.

>Fine, alright?
>You'll march to the city and you'll like it, damn it! (Charisma, HARD)
>...Come on, it's not that far.
>...I guess we could talk while we rest.
>Write-In
>>
>>441968
>You'll march to the city and you'll like it, damn it! (Charisma, HARD)
>>
>>441968
>>...I guess we could talk while we rest.
So were you looking for loot too?
>>
>>441968
>...Come on, it's not that far.

I can only imagine how not clean and tarnished our tracksuit is. We should send to to the tailor when we get back.
>>
>>441974
Switching to this.
>>
"Alright, I guess."

She gets out what you see as a ration pack and trying (key word, trying) to use the spoon and fork provided.

"...So, were you looking for loot too?"

"...No, we were to set up a radio interception center, and we were told the castle here would prove a great spot."

"Oh."

"We couldn't fucking enter the castle thanks to some bullshittery with the fucking door."

"...Oh. It could be just jammed."

"We tried to blow it up, but that didn't even fucking work."

"Oh."

Actions.

>...You do realize that it's nearly impossible to use a fork and knife with claws of this size, right?
>You really should fucking calm down, alright?
>What exactly were you stressing out about anyways?
>...Intentionally piss her off. Rub her head.
>So, are you going to apologize for interrogating and torturing me?
>Write-In
>>
>>442001
>...Intentionally piss her off. Rub her head.
>So, are you going to apologize for interrogating and torturing me?
>>
>>442001
>...You do realize that it's nearly impossible to use a fork and knife with claws of this size, right?
>What exactly were you stressing out about anyways?
>>
>>442006
Rub her belly or pat her head.
>>
You pat her head, which calms her, for a brief moment. Brief, is the key word here.

"Why the fuck are you touching me?"

"...Well, will you apologize for interrogating and torturing me?"

"No, fuck off."

Actions.

>...Seriously? Come on. All I did was kill your men.
>...Escalate to rubbing or patting. Maybe both.
>So? I bet they tasted good.
>It's just a part of war, alright?
>Come on, just fucking calm down, alright?
>Why the hell do you swear every few seconds?
>Write-In
>>
>>442028
>...Escalate to rubbing or patting. Maybe both.
>Feels good, doesn't it?
>>
>>442028
>...Escalate to rubbing or patting. Maybe both.
Awww, your adorable angry.
>>
>>442028
>...Seriously? Come on. All I did was kill your men.
>...Escalate to rubbing or patting. Maybe both.
>>
"Aw, your adorable angry!"

You begin to rub her belly and pet her.

"H-holy shit that's nice..."

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Fucking stop... Please, alright?"

Actions.

>...No, keep going.
>Not until you apologize, alright?
>...Why would I? Your adorable while angry.
>...Who's a good little Romanian?
>Write-In
>>
>>442052
>...Who's a good little Romanian?
>>
>>442052
>...No, keep going.
>...Why would I? Your adorable while angry.
>>
>>442057
Also >Who's a good little Romanian?
>>
>>442052
>...Who's a good little Romanian?
>>
You keep going.

"Who's a good little Romanian?"

"Fucking stop, alright? I'm not a dog, I'm a human being."

"Actually, you aren't a human being anymore."

"This is fucking degrading, cut that shit out, alright?"

"Why? You're adorable while angry."

"...I don't know if that's a compliment or you trying to hit on me."

Actions.

>How is this even degrading?
>...I'm not hitting on you, holy shit.
>What, is it wrong to call someone adorable?
>Aww, are you angry at me for massacring your men?
>Write-In
>>
>>442084
>Aww, are you angry at me for massacring your men?
If it makes you feel better if I ate them they were delicious.
>>
>>442084
>...I'm not hitting on you, holy shit.
>What, is it wrong to call someone adorable?

Let's not completely degrade her like we did with Kutyovka. At least treat her as a person.
>>
>>442084
>How is this even degrading?
>What, is it wrong to call someone adorable?
>>
"What, is it wrong to call someone adorable?"

"No, because an hour ago I was torturing and interrogating you, not to mention I shot you a few times!"

"...And?"

"Unless your somesort of fucking bipolar person, I doubt you devolped feelings for me that fast."

"...Aww, are you angry at me for massacring your men?"

"Of fucking course I am, those were my me-"

"Well, if it makes you feel better if I ate some part of them, they were delicious!"

"Holy shit, do you guys actually eat people? I thought that was just a rumor."

Actions.

>Of course we do, they're delicious!
>You were a narrow margin away from me eating you!
>Only once in a while.
>...No, of course not!
>Are you hungry? I think you are!
>Write-In
>>
>>442103
>>You were a narrow margin away from me eating you!
>>Only once in a while.
>>
>>442103
>Only once in a while.
>We don't have to but it intimidates the enemy to be fighting giant werewolves covered in blood and human entrails
>>
>>442103
>Of course we do, they're delicious!
>You were a narrow margin away from me eating you!
>>
You rustle her head.

"You were a narrow margin away from me eating you!"

"...Narrow margin? I fucking shot you in the head twice. I don't think that was a fucking narrow margin."

"...Well, we only eat people once in a while."

"...Once in a while?"

"Yeah, so don't worry about it!"

"Great. Fucking magnificent."

"Yeah."

"...So, what the fuck am I supposed to do when we get out of this shitty fucking forest?"

Actions.

>...Erh, well. I don't know.
>Well, you can stay in my house if you want. I'm always up for more attractive women staying with me.
>Erh, just be a soldier fighting for me, I guess.
>You'd make a good pet!
>Ignore this and keep petting her!
>Write-In
>>
>>442124
>Well, you can stay in my house if you want. I'm always up for more attractive women staying with me.
>>
>>442124
>Well, you can stay in my house if you want. I'm always up for more attractive women staying with me.

Assuming I read it correctly Daciania was part of the Romanian fascist party so she could be a good balance to Ivanka and her communist ideas.

Also keep petting her
>>
>>442131
This.
We could fuck with her and tell her we're immortal as well.
>>
You keep petting her.

"Oh, you can just stay in my house if you want."

"...I don't even fucking know you."

"So?"

She sighs.

"...I guess. Thanks for the offer."

"Holy shit, are we getting along?"

"No. We're not."

"I think we are!"

"Fucking stop it."

"Or?"

"I'll fucking stomp on your kneecaps, alright?"

Actions.

>...Fine, I guess.
>Nah, she won't! Keep petting her!
>...Please don't?
>You do that and I'll fuck your shit up.
>Write-In
>>
>>442147
>Nah, she won't! Keep petting her!
>>
>>442147
>Nah, she won't! Keep petting her!
>...Please don't?
Rub her belly?
>>
"Oh come on, you won't!"

You begin rubbing her stomach, and she's powerless to resist.

"F-Fucking hell!"

"Come on, how the fuck are you go-"

She rolls out of the way of your belly rubbing.

"Stop, I'm not your girlfriend, I'm supposed to be killing you right now. Just be lucky I'm hungry and exhausted."

Actions.

>...Come on, you should really stop making threats you won't follow through on.
>...You may not be my girlfriend, but that won't fucking stop me!
>...I just want to be friends, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>442174
>...You may not be my girlfriend, but that won't fucking stop me!
Need to butter them up to give them that stockholme syndrome.
>>
>>442174
>...I just want to be friends, alright?

Again. The part about strong willed individuals possessing free wil. We aren't in the best position to agitate right now.
>>
>>442187
This.
>>
"Come on, I just want to be friends."

"Yeah, well I don't fucking want to be friends."

Actions.

>...Come on, let's just get going home.
>What, am I unattractive or something?
>You do realize you'll have to do what I did at some point or another, right?
>...Are you going to eat those rations?
>Write-In
>>
>>442195
>What, am I unattractive or something?
>...Come on, let's just get going home.
>>
>>442195
>You do realize you'll have to do what I did at some point or another, right?
We're injured and she's exhausted, so we're going to have to stay the night at the camp.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=Move on.
2=Stay here.
>>
"What, am I unattractive or something?"

"Your wearing a tracksuit with dozens of bullet holes, not to mention I've got to carry your fat-ass all the way back to the city."

"Yeah. Alright. You do realize you'll have to do what I did at some point or another, right?"

"And? I don't really care on how I kill someone."

"Right. Come on, take me home."

She begins to pick you up, and after three hours you eventually see your house in the distance. She plops to the ground, unconscious.

"Are you alright?"

She's snoring heavily.

Actions.

>...Fuck, well, you can't move. Just get comfy and sleep here.
>Try to wake her up somehow.
>...Eh, just pet her. Hopefully she doesn't go berserk.
>Try to crawl to your house, even if it might take a while.
>Write-In
>>
>>442237
>...Fuck, well, you can't move. Just get comfy and sleep here.

I know Stojan is 10'4 but how tall are normal Lycanthropes?
>>
>>442237
>>Try to crawl to your house, even if it might take a while.
Make sure you crawl in to town with a crazed look in your eye(s). Maybe some flecks of foam around your mouth.
>>
>>442237
>...Fuck, well, you can't move. Just get comfy and sleep here.
>>
>>442237
>...Fuck, well, you can't move. Just get comfy and sleep here.
>>
>>442248
Just usually an inch or two taller.
>>
You get comfy and fall asleep next to her.

Eventually you wake up on the couch, with a broken window, Daciana sleeping unconscious on the floor, and a Kutyovka beneath you.

Actions.

>...Try to get off Kutyovka.
>Try to see if your pet is awake.
>...Slowly pull Kutyovka to the floor and give both of them petting and rubbing. You are in a good mood, after all.
>Yell for Ivanka to get out over here.
>Write-In
>>
>>442284
>>...Slowly pull Kutyovka to the floor and give both of them petting and rubbing. You are in a good mood, after all.
>>
>>442284
>...Slowly pull Kutyovka to the floor and give both of them petting and rubbing. You are in a good mood, after all.
>>
>>442284
>Yell for Ivanka to get out over here.
>>
You slowly lean towards the floor, and fall of, carrying Kutyvoka with you. You land straight on Daciana, who pushes upward, sending you into the coffee table, crushing it. Kutyvoka meanwhile, is terrified.

"What the fuck is happening?"

"WHY IS THERE ANOTHER WEREWOLF IN THIS HOUSE?"

You bring them closer and begin to pet them. Daciana begins to growl and bear fangs, and Kutyvoka shys away.

"What the fuck did I tell you?"

"Stojan? Who is she and why is she growling?"

Actions.

>...Kutyvoka, meet Daciana. Daciana, meet Kutyvoka.
>Squeeze them with the group hug.
>Daciana, stop growling or you won't get petted.
>Erh, let Daciana go.
>Are any of you hungry?
>Write-In
>>
>>442311
>...Kutyvoka, meet Daciana. Daciana, meet Kutyvoka.
>Are any of you hungry?
>>
>>442311
"She's just a growly wolf but she means well."
>>
>>442311
>...Kutyvoka, meet Daciana. Daciana, meet Kutyvoka.
>Are any of you hungry?
>>
"Kutyvoka, meet Daciana. Daciana, meet Kutyvoka."

"I'll fucking rip your head off if you try to pet me, since I can't do it to Stojan for some fucking reason."

"O-Oh..."

"Now, are any of you hungry?"

Both of them answer with a resounding yes.

Actions.

>...Well, since I can't walk because Daciana shot me in the kneecaps, one of you will have to get something to eat.
>Daciana, no ripping off other people's heads unless I tell you too!
>Don't worry Kutyvoka, she's only joking!
>Write-In
>>
>>442340
>Don't worry Kutyvoka, she's only joking!
>>
>>442340
>...Well, since I can't walk because Daciana shot me in the kneecaps, one of you will have to get something to eat.
>She's only joking.
>>
>>442340
>...Well, since I can't walk because Daciana shot me in the kneecaps, one of you will have to get something to eat.
>Daciana, no ripping off other people's heads unless I tell you too
>>
"Don't worry Kutyvoka, she's only jok-"

Daciana steps on your sprained leg, which hurts like a motherfucker.

"You want to say that again?"

"S-Sorry!"

She presses off your sprained leg.

"W-Well. Since I can't walk because Daciana shot me in the kneecaps. One of you will have to get something to eat."

"Right..."

"...Where's Ivanka?"

"She went out for a while. She hasn't been back for a while."

"Oh. She's probably hunting or something."

Choose your PoV!

>Căpitan Daciana
>Kutyvoka.
>>
>>442364
>>Kutyvoka.
>>
>>442364
>Kutyvoka.
>>
>>442364
>Kutyvoka.
>>
Kutyvoka it is.

You leave the house with Daciana.

"...So, erh... I'm assuming Stojan has something specific in mind?"

"H-he probably wants to eat someone."

"...Would he care if we just abducted someone?"

"Honestly, I don't know."

"...Could we just fucking go to the grocery store and buy shit? How much money do we have?"

"...None."

"Fucking hell..."

Actions.

>Come on, we'll go to the store. Who cares if we don't have money?
>...You know, I don't think Stojan would miss the next door neighbors too much. In his sleep I heard him muttering about their pool.
>...Could we just get a criminal or something?
>Write-In
>>
>>442376
>...You know, I don't think Stojan would miss the next door neighbors too much. In his sleep I heard him muttering about their pool.
>>
>>442376
>...You know, I don't think Stojan would miss the next door neighbors too much. In his sleep I heard him muttering about their pool.
>>
>>442376
>...Could we just get a criminal or something?
This or the grocery store.
>>
"Well, I don't think he likes the next door neighbors too much. In his sleep I heard him muttering about their pool."

"And? That's not our problem."

"...W-well. What do you purpose?"

"Well, I don't really want to be a cannibal. Anyways, could we just order food?"

"...Like?"

"I don't know... Is there a pizza place nearby?"

"We don't have money."

"...And? We could just threaten to remove his lungs or something."

Actions.

>...I miss regular food. Alright, Daciana. Let's get a pizza.
>...Could we eat the pizza delivery guy?
>I don't think Stojan would like us to steal from a delivery guy. Let's get some money.
>...I liked my plan of eating the next door neighbors.
>Write-In
>>
>>442393
>...Could we eat the pizza delivery guy?
>>
>>442393
>...Could we eat the pizza delivery guy?
>>
>>442393
Threaten that Stojan will remove his lungs. Let that commandeering asshole deal with the fallout.
>>
"Could we eat the pizza delivery guy?"

"...Why the hell do you want to eat people?"

"...It's the only thing Stojan feeds me."

"Holy shit, why the fuck... Goddamn, that's fucked up. Well, no. You aren't going to eat the pizza man on my watch, alright?"

"...Why?"

"Because I'm pretty sure you need food other then fucking human flesh, and that's just fucked up."

Actions.

>...It's fine, alright?
>Please?
>Don't all werewolves eat human flesh?
>On second thought, yeah... I'd love pizza.
>Write-In
>>
>>442393
>...Could we eat the pizza delivery guy?

There probably aren't a lot of pizza chains that deliver in post war Poland but okay.
>>
>>442408
>Don't all werewolves eat human flesh?
>>
>>442408
>Please?
>Don't all werewolves eat human flesh?
>>
>>442408
>>On second thought, yeah... I'd love pizza.
>>
>>442408
>Please?
>>
"...Don't all werewolves eat human flesh?"

"I don't know. I was human a few hours ago, alright?"

"Oh."

"Yeah. Come on. I don't think there's probably any fucking pizza place in Poland, but who gives a shit?"

"...I think the soviets made a pizza place here for propaganda purposes. We could order from there."

"What's it called?"

"Uncle Lenin's Soviet Pizza."

"...Alright. Come on, let's go back inside."

She pats you on the head.

Actions.

>...Can we still eat the pizza guy?
>Let's feed the pizza guy to Stojan!
>...Why did you just pat me on the head?
>How much pizza are we getting?
>...Hang on, let's order from a different place!
>Write-In
>>
>>442425
>...Can we still eat the pizza guy?
>>
>>442428
This and this
>...Why did you just pat me on the head?
>>
>>442425
>>...Why did you just pat me on the head?
I'm not a pet... I'm not.
>>
"...Why did you just pat me on my head? I'm not a pet, alright?"

"...You're just so fucking helpless, it's like seeing a kitten stuck in a tree, you just want to help it or something."

"O-oh. Can we still eat the pizza guy?"

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you can convince her that you should eat the pizza guy. Additional +2 if you can give a reason why.
>>
>>442425
>...Can we still eat the pizza guy?
>...Why did you just pat me on the head?
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442437
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442437
He'll taste and small like pizza do to all the exposure.
>>
>>442442
You guys get 20s on the most useless shit fucking ever.
>>
Critical Success!

"...He'll taste like pizza and smell like it."

Daciana looks at you, and squats.

"Aww... Your fucking adorable face... Fine, I'll fucking help you eat the pizza guy."

You hug her.

"Thank you!"

She returns the hug and ruffles through your hair.

"...Why the fuck am I doing this..."

She gets up and goes over to the phone, and begins ordering "Ten pizzas and two bottles of Leninaide."

She sits on the floor, waiting.

"So... How exactly do you know Stojan?"

Actions.

>Oh, I'm his pet. Apparently...
>...He says I'm his pet, but it's really the otherway around.
>We're friends.
>...He kidnapped me and we became friends.
>Write-In
>>
>>442452
>Oh, I'm his pet. Apparently...
>>
>>442452
>...He says I'm his pet, but it's really the otherway around.
>...He kidnapped me and we became friends.
>>
>>442454
This.
>>
"...I'm his pet, apparently."

"Pet?"

"...Yeah. I don't really like the sound of that, to be honest."

"This entire "family" is fucking weird."

"Why?"

"...Stojan, effectively a fucking psycho murderer, with a wife who's been missing for ages, along with a human pet. I kind of suspect he wants to add me to his "family" or something."

Actions.

>...He's a nice guy, alright? Give him a chance to stop being weird. It's just his thing.
>...Yeah, the family's weird.
>...Try to pet her. I mean, she's going to be part of the family soon anyways.
>Oh, don't worry. If you do get made part of the family you'll be able to hang out with me more often!
>Write-In
>>
>>442466
>...Try to pet her. I mean, she's going to be part of the family soon anyways.
>>
>>442466
>...Try to pet her. I mean, she's going to be part of the family soon anyways.
>Oh, don't worry. If you do get made part of the family you'll be able to hang out with me more often!
>>
>>442466
>...He's a nice guy, alright? Give him a chance to stop being weird. It's just his thing.
>Oh, don't worry. If you do get made part of the family you'll be able to hang out with me more often!
>>
"Oh, come on. If you do get made part of the family you'll be able to hang out with me more ofte-"

"Yeah, you might be adorable but your a fucking cannibal."

"...Don't say that."

You go over and try to pet her, but she grabs you arm and forces you down.

"What the fuck did I say about petting me?"

"Y-You'll rip my head off?"

"Yeah."

"Please don't..."

She sighs.

"Then don't fucking pet me, or any shit like that."

Actions.

>...Why exactly don't you like getting petted?
>Come on, I'm not insane.
>Why are you so aggressive?
>...So, why exactly are you staying here?
>Write-In
>>
>>442477
>Come on, I'm not insane.
>>
>>442477
>...Why exactly don't you like getting petted?
>Come on, I'm not insane.
>>
>>442477
>...Why exactly don't you like getting petted?
>Come on, I'm not insane
>>
>>442477
>>...Why exactly don't you like getting petted?
I-Is there something you need to talk about? Because I'm a good listener!
>>
"C-come on. I'm not insane."

"I would beg to differ, you fucking want to eat the pizza delivery guy. That's not very sane."

"...Why don't you?"

"Because that's just a fucking weird reaction to seeing a human being. Aren't you one?"

"...I guess."

"There isn't a "I guess", there's a yes and a no."

"Oh. So why don't you like getting petted?"

"...Because I'm not a dog? Hell, I'm half expecting Stojan to try and lick me or something. I just don't fucking like getting touched anyways."

"...I-is there something you need to talk about?"

"No, it's fine, alright?"

Actions.

>...Well, I don't know about you, but Stojan trying to lick people would be adorable and hilarious.
>...Well, technically in a sense you are a dog.
>...Come on, you can tell me anything, we're family! Well, not really... But kind of family!
>...What's wrong with people sometimes treating you like a dog?
>Write-In
>>
>>442492
>...Come on, you can tell me anything, we're family! Well, not really... But kind of family!
>>
>>442492
>...Well, I don't know about you, but Stojan trying to lick people would be adorable and hilarious.
>Come on, you can tell me anything.
>>
>>442492
>>...Come on, you can tell me anything, we're family! Well, not really... But kind of family!
(Can we break her?)
>>
>>442492
>...Come on, you can tell me anything, we're family! Well, not really... But kind of family!
>>
Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if you can poke deeper.

>>442499
(to be not "I'll fuck you up?")
>>
Rolled 9 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442506
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442506
>>
Rolled 6 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442506
>>
Rolled 11 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442506
For friendship, the greatest power in the universe!
>>
Rolled 11 (1d20)

Behold the terror of my insane rolls!
>>
Rolled 17 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442506
Check this crit.
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442512
I was honestly expecting a one and to fuck it up anyways is amazing.
>>
>>442514
Well, there's my fucking closure. Thanks dice.
>>
>>442514
Fucking horse shit...
>>
File: 1460000567405.jpg (57 KB, 500x339)
57 KB
57 KB JPG
>>442514
You need to stop.
>>
>>442516
>>442517
That's it. Even if I'm DM or QM, I'm not touching a damn die. The consistency of these bad rolls is too irritating.
>>
>>442514
This is this nigga's third roll. Is this even acceptable?
>>
>>442521
No. We should take them out back and shoot them.
>>
>>442521
Second roll. But a very good question. >>442522
And if you do, let it be known my last request is you do it with an artillery piece.
>>
>>442521
It's the second one, so I'm going to ignore it.

This time.

9+2=11

Failure!

"Come on, you can tell me anything! We're family!"

"Fucking stop with the family thing. I don't even know you, and I'm not a part of your family."

The doorbell rings, and she gets up, and looks through a blind.

"Uh... What do we do if it's a werewolf that's delivering it?"

Actions.

>...Maybe we can still eat him?
>...I guess I could eat pizza.
>Easy. We need to frame the pizza to be low quality and demand a refund. Maybe the next guy will be a human.
>Write-In
>>
>>442526
>Easy. We need to frame the pizza to be low quality and demand a refund. Maybe the next guy will be a human.
>>
>>442530
This.
>>
>>442526
>>...I guess I could eat pizza.
Tell him to put it on the tab.
>>
>>442531
Oh wait, claim that there's fur on it and request the next pizza be sent by a human.
>>
>>442530
>Easy. We need to frame the pizza to be low quality and demand a refund. Maybe the next guy will be a human.
>>442534
Seconded.
>>
>>442526
>Easy. We need to frame the pizza to be low quality and demand a refund. Maybe the next guy will be a human.

This is an outrage! The king of Poland demands high quality pizza. As it is now it is unsuitable for consumption even by the lowest of peasants.
>>
"Erh... Just tell him that there's fur on it or something."

"...Alright, I guess."

She opens the door.

"Uh, hi. I've got an order of ten Unionized Pizzas, with extra Cossack Cheese, Party Pepperoni, and Subversive Stuffed Crust."

"...Did you bring the dipping sauce?"

"Erh, the Garlic Goy Sauce?"

"...No, the other type."

"...The Stalin Supreme Super Sauce?"

"Yeah."

"Shit, I forgot."

"Right, could I see that pizza for a second?"

"Oh. Sure."

She gets close to it.

"What? There's fur on this pizza!"

"Oh shit, uh... I'll be right back!"

He gets in his car and drives away.

Actions.

>...What the hell is the Stalin Supreme Super Sauce?
>...Did he bring the Leninaide?
>Why don't we just order more pizza and more delivery men?
>Write-In
>>
>>442541
>...What the hell is the Stalin Supreme Super Sauce?
>...Did he bring the Leninaide?
>>
>>442541
>Why don't we just order more pizza and more delivery men?
>>
"Erh, what the hell is Stalin Supreme Super Sauce?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's tomato sauce?"

"Oh. Well, did he bring the Leninaide?"

"Yeah, it was in his hands."

"Oh... Could we order more pizza, and more delivery men?"

"...I guess if you want to."

Actions.

>...Sure, let's do it.
>Nah, that's just a bad idea.
>Sure, but order it to the neighbor's house...
>Stojan, do you want a deliveryman?
>Write-In
>>
>>442547
>...Sure, let's do it.
>>
>>442548
This.
>>
>>442548
Support.
>>
"Sure, let's order more delivery men!"

"...Alright, I guess."

How many deliveries are you going to order?

>...Just one more.
>Two more?
>Three more.
>Four more!
>Five more.
>...Six?
>Write-In
>>
Rolled 5 (1d6)

>>442551
I'll let the dice decide.
>>
>>442551
One more. I suspect it was the quantity that caused them to send a werewolf.
>>
>>442552
This.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=5 More!
2=Just one more.
>>
"Erh... Just five more, please."

"Five? I doubt you could eat one."

"...A-Alright. Order it."

A few minutes go by, and you hear another ring at the door. She goes out and opens it, and you see a man.

"Erh, hi... I'm here to deliver ten pizzas?"

Wait, what was the plan you discussed beforehand?

>...She'll try to lure him inside!
>...Erh, she's going to just maim and kill generally. Then drag the carcass inside.
>...You were planning on her just knocking them out.
>Write-In
>>
>>442561
>...She'll try to lure him inside!
>>
>>442561
>...You were planning on her just knocking them out.
>>
You decided beforehand that she'd lure them in and knock them out.

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if she can lure him in and knock him out!
>>
Rolled 8 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442571
Hopefully Daciana has a nice fluffy coat.
>>
Rolled 13 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442571
>>
Rolled 1 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442571
>>
>>442577
Fuck
>>
>>442577
You fool!
>>
Critical Failure!

"Oh. Hi."

"GET INSIDE MAGGOT!"

"Oh God!"

She tries to leap onto the deliveryman, but he does a sick spin and jump back into his car, and begins to drive off.

Oh well. At least you got free pizza.

Actions.

>...Damn it, you need to stop him from alerting the authorities somehow... Quickly, find out where he lives!
>...Well, just go inside and bring the pizza with you. And the Leninaide.
>Quickly, steal the neighbor's car! You've got to stop him!
>Write-In
>>
>>442585
>>Quickly, steal the neighbor's car! You've got to stop him!
>>
>>442585
>Quickly, steal the neighbor's car! You've got to stop him!
>>
>>442585
>>...Well, just go inside and bring the pizza with you. And the Leninaide.
If anyone complains just tell them it was a prank
>>
"Quickly, we must steal the neighbor's car and chase him down!"

"That's stupid as hell!"

"There's no other choice!"

The two of you rush next door, and see the neighbor's car, and the man getting out of it.

"Howdy! Who might you two be?"

Actions.

>There's no time to explain! Shove him to the side!
>Oh no, he's here! Flee!
>Can I borrow your car for a little bit? Please?
>Write-In
>>
>>442596
>There's no time to explain! Shove him to the side!
>>
>>442600
This.
>>
Roll me a 1d20-1
>>
Rolled 20 + 1 (1d20 + 1)

>>442607
Praise RN Jesus.
>>
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0zGSkMImDlk
>>
20+1=21

Critical Success!

You shove him down into the ground and get inside his car, while Daciana climbs in the other side. You start up the car and begin chasing after the pizza man.

You zoom past a corner and see the pizza man stopped at a red light...

Actions.

>Ram into him!
>Quickly, tell Daciana to open one of the car doors and try to get into it!
>Erh... Check the glove department?
>Write-In
>>
>>442621
>Erh... Check the glove department?
>>
>>442621
>Erh... Check the glove department?
>>
You check the glove department... And all you fucking find is a pair of glasses and a vodka bottle. Damn it. Why does he have to be a law-abiding citizen?

Actions.

>Ram into him!
>Tell Daciana to open a car door to try and jump on.
>Hang on, maybe you can get Daciana to break the glass bottle and target the guy's wheels.
>Daciana, do you have a gun?
>Just go back home...
>>
>>442629
>Daciana, do you have a gun?
>>
>>442629
>Tell Daciana to open a car door to try and jump on.
>>
"Daciana, do you have a gun?"

"I have a pistol, and that's it!"

"...Try to jump onto the guy's car!"

"Are you insane?"

"Just do it, damn it!"

Roll me a 1d20+2 to see if she can jump on.
>>
Rolled 5 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442639
>>
Rolled 20 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442639
>>
Rolled 2 + 2 (1d20 + 2)

>>442639
Couldn't she have just shot the wheels then?
>>
>>442646
That's the third time I rolled a 20 today. One for RIPPING and TEARING the Romanians. One for for pointing out that pizza delivery guys are just like pizza and now this.
>>
>>442646
20+2=22

Critical Success!

She jumps out, straight into the driver's seat and holds the guy hostage. He begins to drive back to your place, and you head back at once. You park the car in the neighbor's driveway, and now you have taken a pizza delivery guy hostage.

You are now Stojan, and you've just woken up from a nap, and see Daciana, a fuckton of pizza, a delivery man, and Kutyovka all in the same room. The deliveryman is crying, Kutyovka is getting out a knife, and Daciana is just fucking confused. Your legs also feel a little better, and you think you can walk with some help.

Actions.

>What is this? A terrorist execution? Why the fuck is their a deliveryman in your room?
>...Just go to sleep again.
>...Why does he smell like pizza? He smells delicious! Nom.
>Why are you guys trying to eat law-abidding citizens?
>Write-In
>>
>>442655
>>...Why does he smell like pizza? He smells delicious! Nom.
Best breakfast!
>>
>>442655
>...Why does he smell like pizza? He smells delicious! Nom.

He was also being quite rude and denying service to a Lycanthrope.
>>
>>442660
This.
>>
"Is this for me?"

"Wha-"

You take a bite out of the pizzaman, severing his head.

"...He doesn't really taste like pizza."

"I'm just going to eat pizza, you fucking crazy as hell cannibals."

"...I was going to eat that." Kutyovka looks a little disappointing.

Actions.

>...Rub her head. She's a model citizen for stopping racism.
>...You'll get the guy I swear.
>Continue eating the pizza man.
>...You know Daciana needs to cannibalize to live.
>...Well, make a mental note that you should get some of Karkmann's serum given to Daciana so she doesn't have to eat people.
>...Pizza? Where the fuck did you get pizza in post-war Poland?
>Write-In
>>
>>442664
>>...Rub her head. She's a model citizen for stopping racism.
>>...You'll get the guy I swear.
We should ask Daciana if she wants the serum.
>>
>>442664
>...Rub her head. She's a model citizen for stopping racism.
>...You know Daciana needs to cannibalize to live.
>>
>>442669
Switching to this.
She can share with Kutyovka.
>>
"Don't worry, your a model citizen for stopping vile racism!"

You rub her head.

"I promise you'll get the next guy, alright?"

"Oh, thank you."

"...Anyways, Daciana, you do realize you have to cannibalize to live?"

"Oh shit, I do?"

Actions.

>Yeah, you do.
>Well, Karkmann made a serum so you don't have to.
>...If you want to be part of this family, you have to.
>Write-In
>>
>>442671
>Yeah, you do.
>>
>>442671
>Yeah, you do.

Maybe we can have her join the family like Pelevina
>>
>>442671
>...If you want to be part of this family, you have to.
Jesus what a fucked up family
>>
"Yeah, you do."

"...Yeah, I think I'm fine."

"You don't do it and you'll die."

"I have the distinct impression you like controlling people, not to mention it sounds like degeneracy. So I don't believe you."

Actions.

>Why do you say that?
>Erh... Well, you can always go to Karkmann and take his serum.
>...Come on, it tastes good!
>...Godddamn it. If you want to be part of this family, you'll eat a human and like it, alright?
>Write-In
>>
>>442678
>>Why do you say that?
>>
>>442678
What do you have against degeneracy? That's is a pretty intolerant attitude you have there missy!
>>
>>442678
>Why do you say that?
>>
>>442678
>Why do you say that?
>...Godddamn it. If you want to be part of this family, you'll eat a human and like it, alright?
If she insists
>Erh... Well, you can always go to Karkmann and take his serum
But make her stay in the barracks
>>
"Why do you say that?"

"Well, you want me to stay in your home, you have a person as a pet, who've you trained to do cannibalism, probably indoctrinated the commissarate's daughter into loving you, and other shit. So sorry if I don't take your word at first glance, since I think a second opinion would be much, much more sane."

Actions.

>Fine then, find someone then.
>...I won't let you leave my house.
>...Unless you eat a human, I won't let you back.
>What the hell do you have against degeneracy?
>Write-In
>>
>>442686
>>Fine then, find someone then.
A conveniently timed Ivanka would be nice.
>>
>>442686
>>Fine then, find someone then.
>>
>>442686
>Fine then, find someone then.
>What the hell do you have against degeneracy?
>>
>>442686
How about doctor kartman?
>>
"Fine then. Find someone and get their second opinion."

"Alright then."

She leaves the house.

"...Oh. Well, I ordered five more pizza delivery guys. So yeah."

"Great! I wonder when Ivanka will get back..."

For the next few hours you and Kutyovka eat a few unfortunate pizza delivery men, and down it with pizza. Comrade Pig helps with the pizza eating as well. It's been a while, and eventually Ivanka opens the door to the house.

"Oh, hi Ivanka."

"Erh... Comrade Stojan, why are there skeletons in the living room, and pizza boxes?"

"...I got hungry."

"Right."

"Yeah, sorry about the mess."

"It's fine, comrade. Where's Pelevina?"

"I don't really know."

"Right. Anyways, where were you today?"

"I got shot, tortutred, and nearly killed."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"And how the hell did you get back then?"

"A friend helped me. She'll be back la-"

The phone next to your couch rings, and you pick it up... And it seems to be Karkmann.

"Erh, Stojan?"

"What is it?"

"I've been wondering if you were wanting to take the serum."

Actions.

>...I'm good, alright?
>Sure.
>...Yeah, I'm tired of eating people.
>I'll never stop eating people, never!
>...Has a Daciana gone down to your office?
>Write-In
>>
>>442708
>>Sure.
Also ask if he has spoken with Daciana.
>>
>>442708
Can we still eat some poor conscripts though?
>>
>>442708
Wasn't the first serum for Ivanka?
>>
>>442721
>>442719
Yep for both of these.
>>
>>442722
Take the serum then no harm doing it
>>
"Oh, sure. Just wondering, has a person called Daciana come down there?"

"Oh. Ja, I think so. She said that she was directed here."

"...Is she still there?"

"Ja, she's here."

Actions.

>...Oh, I'll be down right away to get the serum.
>Don't give it to her, alright?
>Tell her she's not invited back if she takes it.
>Could you give her directions on where I live? I'd rather her not getting lost.
>Write-In
>>
>>442736
>...Oh, I'll be down right away to get the serum.
>Don't give it to her, alright?
>>
>>442740
This
>>
"I'll be down right away, just don't give her it, alright?"

"...I already told her that I would, Stojan."

"...Fuck..."

Actions.

>...Tell her your out or something, alright?
>Just give her a list of fake side effects, alright?
>Just call security on her, I'll be right down.
>...Just give her the serum.
>Write-In
>>
>>442745
>>Just give her a list of fake side effects, alright?
Something about loss of sanity.
>>
>>442745
Tell her that one will be used for me
>>
"Just give her a list of fake side effects, alright?"

"J-Ja. Very well."

You hear the phone hang up, and you decide to drive down in your truck to city hall.

Roll me a 1d20 to see if Karkmann can actually bluff this.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d20)

>>442751
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>442751
>... And by taking this serum, you also run the risk of testicular cancer. Yes, that means you will grow male genitals and they will have cancer.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d20)

>>442751
Holy shit, I hope we don't fuck up.
>>
Press F to pay respects to Karkmann.
>>
>>442756
>>442754
>>442753
I refuse to believe these fucking dice.
>>
3 vs 18

Overwhelming Failure!

As you get out of the truck, assisted by Sedov your guard, you go into Karkmann's office. You see the office's glass door has been shattered, with blood on it. Oh fuck.

Actions.

>...Is she still in there? Send Sedov to check it out.
>...Just back up.
>...Did anyone hear any noise from in there?
>...Try to open the door, even with your damaged kneecaps
>Write-In
>>
>>442761
>...Did anyone hear any noise from in there?
>>
"Sedov, did anyone hear any noise from in there?"

"I think the doctor installed noiseproof walls in there."

"Oh."

Actions.

>...Send Sedov to check it out.
>You'll enter it.
>Nope! Take no chances, just back away.
>Write-In
>>
>>442765
>You'll enter it.
>>
>>442765
>...Send Sedov to check it out.
>>
Rolled 1 (1d2)

Rolling.

1=You'll enter.
2=Send Sedov
>>
You walk assisted to the door, and open it. Inside, a heavily injured Karkmann has just given the serum to Daciana. She coughs a little, and sees you stand there. She gets up, and moves precariously towards Karkmann.

The room around you has some bloodstains, shattered bottles, and a small dent in the wall.

"I've heard from the doctor about your conversation with him, about how you ordered him to obstruct the truth."

"What did you do to him?"

"For the first five minutes he didn't tell me anything. Of course, afterwards I was forced to hurt him a little. It's mostly visual, I assure you. Besides, his lies are rather terrible."

Actions.

>...Listen, I just cared about you, alright? (Charisma, VERY HARD)
>...You aren't a true werewolf if you don't eat a human, you know.
>Sedov, fire on her!
>How bad did you hurt Karkmann?
>I'll kill you for this, you know.
>Get out of here, I never want to see you again.
>Write-In
>>
>>442773
>>How bad did you hurt Karkmann?
>>