Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.Your current protagonist is the current Chief of the Barbarian Tribe: Hooded Bones. Your human tribesmen are being kept in the arena to entertain the Kingdom citizens while you and your skeletal tribesmen are being hunted down by paladins.Currently you're in the middle of evading a squad of paladins, what do you do?Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>625596evade succesfully
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>625596Punch self in face, get hype
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>625596Hide in a dark and mysterious alley
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>625596Throw some shit in their way to slow them down
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>625596Pretend to be a pile of bones belonging to something that died ages ago in the catacombs
Rolled 98 (1d100)Climb and jump buildings assassins creed style
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>625596Hide in the nearest hole
>>625618Climbin n Jumpin
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>625641Now you're stuck at the top of the buildingCongratz
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>625641Stay on the rooftop, see what they do.
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>625641Enter the building through the window, all sneaky like.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>625641Do a triple frontflip all the way to safety
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>625641Climb to the very top of the building. We might get a good view of the city.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>625641Surrender.
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>625641At the top, your constituents are waiting for you. A plan to take down the kingdom's oppression is well underway.
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>625641jump down into a haystack on the other side
>>625649YOu can hear them yelling about getting into the building to pursue you
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>625676You write a note to leave them for once they get in the building.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>625676Trick worked!Now go back outside and hide in shadows while they looking in building
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>625676shut window behind you and block it with a big rock.
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>625676Loot and flee to next window
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>625676Wait for them to climb all the way up to you to jump to the nearest building
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>625676Wait a while, then climb back out when all the paladins have entered.
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>625676Inside is a secret group of skeletons assembled to break the barbs out.
>>625682Hm, you don't have anything to write or write on, maybe something in this room would help
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>625707Lockpick the chest and check for valua... i mean anything that might help
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>625707check the chest
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>625707check inside the desk
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>625707Loot chest
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>625707Punch self first
>>625707Draft a constitution with dat fancy quill pen
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>625707rip out the front blank page of one of those books and look for a pen
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>625707Grab the nearest book, rip a blank page and write "Flip to find out where the skelleton went" on both sidesHopefully that will trap them for a few days
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>625721>>625707
>>625707>>625729Best plan ever.
>>625711Lockipicking attempt success
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>625762WHAT'S INSIDE THE CHEST?
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>625762Check for loo... I mean shit that might help us lose the paladins
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>625762Do this>>625729Then loot the chest
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>625762what's inside
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>625762Search for some paper and valuables, if present. Then, do this.>>625729
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>625762Appraise lootDo it following the jewish instructions of the voice of a dead dragon inside your head for maximum success
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>625762anything good inside?also check if you hear approaching footsteps yet or not
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>625762any fancy stationery inside?
>>625778YOu found a sword. Well it's less of a sword and more a really long knife. If you knew any better, you'd say it seems to be made from the remains of a sword that your tribe got from the Orc tribe along time ago.
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>625805Look outside at the city
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>625805Not stationary. Disregard and keep searching.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>625805oh shit, we have to draw blood now and kill someone
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>625805Escape out the windowUse sword to track were the arena is by sniffing out the orc blood
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>625805Keep it, bail through the chimney
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>625805Keep itCheck outside to be sure all the paladins followed you inside
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>625805SHED THE BLOOD OF THE NEAREST PALADIN WITH ITTHE JASONS SHALL HELP US
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>625805Pocket that, start writing dis>>625729
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>625805orc tech is bad newstoss it outcheck for nearby guards
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>625805Etch a note into the desk and then get rid of that fucking thing before it kills you
>>625810YOu see...a paladin climbing through the window
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>625846Stab in face, run out other window
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>625846Stab him through his visor with the orc knife
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>625846Shank that fucker right in the neck
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>625846Get rid of the knife and break down the door to escapeIf that thing pricks a skeleton wouldn't they go after any creature with a skeleton inside them?
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>625846fugapply sword to his face
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>625846Oh shit. Use the sword we found to hastily stab the paladin.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>625846Punch self as a distraction tactic and stab him with your free hand
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>625846stab him in the visor with just found knife
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>625846Chop at his hands with the knife to send him falling to his death.
>>625853Skeles have no blood, though
>>625862They should already be invading the Kingdom since the elves and orcs are here right?
>>625862Skeleton juice then.
>>625865NaP confirmed the paladins easilly kill them before they enter
>>625865No, the kingdom has competent fighters.So they've been kept out.
>>625849Jumping to the next building
>>625865OP said that the Paladins and guards have been dealing with some Jason swords near the city.
>>625865Technically they should, but neither elves nor the orcs have got any attacks since the jasons tasted their blood (before they got enslaved, obviously) so i think the Jasons are pretty fucking slow.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>625883Land on ye hands onto the next building
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>625883Land inside next building
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>625883Fall into a conveniently placed haystack
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>625883run across the roof of the next building, keep running until paladins are successfully evaded
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>625883Extend your cape to glide, as you're super light
>>625883Jump from roof to roof Naruto-style, then finally land in a dark alleyway
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>625883Oops there is no next building
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>625883Its a cathedral
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>625883Land ontop of a shady building.
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>625883Once in a new building the search for parchment continues.
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>625883I hope there is next building, right?
>>625904>dark alleyway>not dank alley where the elves spend their free time
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>625904Whoops
>>625916That's the name of one of the most famous taverns in the kingdom. Everyone except the bartender is an elf slave.And regulars get a bonus, that's why it's called The Dank Alleyway
>>625896Who would put a haystack ontop of a building
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>625938Because reasonsQuickly disassemble said haystack to prevent paladins from jumping over
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>625938Play in haystack
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>625938you look over and see the hay piler
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>625938The farmer king and he's pissed that someone wrapped up a skeleton and threw him into his roof haystack
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>625938A tamed RocIts a nest.
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>625938Who gives a shit. Become the night and hide in plain sight
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>625938An elf farmer high on weed.Keep going from rooftop to rooftop Naruto-style, then land at The Dank Alleyway.You always wanted to try the "house's special".
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>625938Go into a dank alleyway in order to discuss nefarious plans among possibly other skele.
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>625938>>625949
(Did we just successfully kill a paladin?)
>>625987No but the Jasons would be on his ass soon
>>625953Yes, let's go and hide.Then immediately a paldin pops out form the hay and punches you in the skull"IT WAS US WHO PUT IT HERE! WE KNEW YOU'D TRY A JUMP!"
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>626000Suplex paladin
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>626000Run away!
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>626000Kick Paladin off the edge of the building
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>626000draw your long knife with a flourish
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>626000Evil weaboo magic! Life steal!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>626000Jump off the building while doing a quadruple backflip and land perfectly
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>626000You're not going to make old bones here, collect your teeth and run
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>626000>>625954
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>626000That seems incredibly counterproductive. Why not just let me jump to my death and have some bones to sweep up off the street?
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>626000Jam the hay stray in Paladin's eye.
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>626000Fistfight the paladin
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>626000Stab his face with your fist
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>626000Leap from roof, retrieve knife from previously killed paldin's face.
>>626007Attempting to run away, the paladin pursues you
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>626050Run faster because bones are lighter than a full plated human
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>626050Trip on a manlet thats crying on the street over being weak
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>626050Attempt to fly by flapping arms repeatedly
>>626056You ahve the lead. A jump's coming up. You can either jump accross onto the next rooftop or drop down into the alley below
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>626092Fly by flapping arms repeatedly
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>626092Run like naruto for speed because aerodynamics
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>626092The alley
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>626092Drop into the alley.The Dank Alley
>>626100Well that didn't work
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>626114Land on the next building anyway because you had momentum
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>626114Land without issues.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>626114Use magic to do wuxia leap.
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>626114FLAP HARDER YOUR (un)LIFE DEPENDS ON IT
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>626114Drop like a rock
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>626114Jump on air in order to maintain altitude
>>626121The Kindom took away the magic of the tribes. The only magic you have left is the one animating your bony body right now. But you leaped any way
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>626151Land in alley
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>626151Enter the Dank Alleyway
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>626151Do a ballerina twirl midair and land
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>626151Land in The Dank Alley
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>626151Remove clothes to decrease air resistance
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>626151Use your cape as a glider
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>626184How close are we to escaping the Kingdom?
>>626184Realize the building you landed on was The Dank Alleyway.Enter to confuse the paladins
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>626184Paladin stands at the edge of the building you just leaped from and claps - appreciating your grace.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>626191Fucking dice
>>626190Alright, this tiny skull represents you and this tiny cup represents the nearest city wall that you'd need to scale to escape.And let's move the cup aaaaaaall the way over here for accuracy
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>626184You take a bow and slip into the shadows
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>626203oh shit, we better keep running then
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>626203>>626205D'oh
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>626203Hide in the nearest wagon heading outside the kingdom walls
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>626203Cue time skip until its time to scale the wallHave a montage of us evading capture until the walls are within sight
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>626203>>626195
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>626203That doesn't look so bad
>>626210Alright time to run...but then 2 paladins block your path
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>626234Attempt to seduce them
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>626234JUKE THEM OUT BY RUNNING LEFT, THEN DODGING RIGHT
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>626234Run in a different direction
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>626234Enter The dankest alleyway you can see
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>626234Smoke bomb!
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>626234Crazy weaboo necromancy go!Use your magic to blind the paladins and escape.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>626234Jump over them gracefully and land on the streets into the sewers.
>>626248Which at this moment is the one directly below. So you jumped down.
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>626259Keep on running
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>626234There are 4 directions in the world - north, east, south, west - turn and run in one of the two directions left that don't have paladins in your way.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>626259Land on a paladin with a drop kick
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>626259Hide yourself in the crowds of high elves
>>626271>implying elves have enough numbers to form a crowd
>>626281could've been some time since civ thing, they would have enough to regrow their population
If we keep killing paladins we'll never become holy bones
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>626316Now jump off him into the nearest window
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>626316run through the dankest alleyway and lose the paladins
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>626316>>626320
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>626316Pull off and steal his helmet and run away
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>626316Steal his armor see if its blessed
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>626316Drag unconscious paladin body in a building or around a corner or behind something. Take his armor for a disguise.
4chan still dead?
>>626392Your test results have come back. You have AIDS.
>>626401It doesn't seem that way. The important question however is wether or not OP is still alive.
Rolled 1 (1d1)>>626402I don't trust these results. I'm going to check with another doctor. 1 is no AIDS and 2 is yes AIDS.
>>626333I doubt that. I also regret this for you.
>>626498NaP went to bed.
>>626502I swear NaP has the most inconsistent schedule. One day he's hosting dusk to dawn and the next only for a few hours. Does anyone know where he lives?
>>626555ching chong land, vietnam
>>626579Yes. He lives in Vietnam.
>>625883Either Paladins are weak as shit or there's a huge difference in power between them and Guards, OR Hooded Bones really just more powerful than WanPan, also, anyone initiated a flashback sequence to how we got here yet?
>>626610Damn. I always pictured him as a 16 year old British person who lives with his rich parents in France or some other European country.
>>626627>Bones tries to get to the coliseum>Drives paladins mad with paperwork>Paladins proceed to purge heretics and skeletonsAlso the paladins are probably weak due to a lack of communication with god
>>626666Oh shit you're fucking right. I mean we really should have seen Brock going heel by the time he broke DraGod's back, I wonder how Orc God is holding it out Seeing as he didn't respond in WanPan Quest then either only those with really good celestial divine connection can call heaven right now or he's also dead
>>626666I actually want to try and meet the Almighty human God. The smiling son and next goblin hero whose name alludes me might be able to go to a temple dedicated to him since their predecessors could move freely and witness something relevant about Brock and the other gods. The kingdom can probably still communicate with their God without any complications since he's much more powerful then ours.
>>626640Nah. More of a 300lb rice hoarder that enjoys making people feel as bad as him.
>>626666Nice quads.Also, it doesnt help the only kill we got was from a God weapon. Don't give hooded bones too mucb credit yet. He was still punched and fleeing. We have no idea if Brock will give us magic back. But if he did, would we want it? He's destroying the balance.Skeletons might turn to the Almighty because Brock allows skellies to die and forces barbs to be murdercattle.
>>626483Totally depends upon whether OP wants to have a disguise adventure or not. What you succeed at and what you fail at is often a matter of what would be an interesting direction to take in the story.
>>626431You now have one positive AIDS test and one negative test. We recommend you have a third test to confirm which is correct.
I'll roll a 69 to summon op back to the threaddice+1d100
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>626916>can't even roll properlynat 69 incoming
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>626916I almost never post on /qst/ forgive me and watch this roll
>>626941>96 Op is dead and he will never come back
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>626916Rolling 69 to summon OP back to bread.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>626996Rolling 69 to summon OP back to breed
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>626916 #Rolling 69 to summon OP back to bread.
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>626916nat 96
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>626916Easy 69 incoming
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>626916rolling for The Sex Number
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>626916nat one incomin
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>626916Check my numbers pal.
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>626916Derp
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>626916I just want this bread to continue, please op return to your loving family of anons. You massive faggot.
apparently OP is having connection issuesbread continues soon
>>627924>>628302OP banned from 4chins for extreme amount of salt generation
>>628302Soon? It won't be for at least until another day judging from his feed.
>>628502can anyone post the picture NaP made with all the past protagonists? Like the one that Lolisniffer is thinking here
>>628515Here you go
>>628525was this ever updated to include new heroes?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>626916Obviously the Horny One has to do itFucking amateurs watch the master do it
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>628568Wow dragons are the literal worst confirmed. Give way and let an Orc do it.
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>628573Let me show how I put the 6 to the 9
Where can I find all of these previous quests?
>>628589>http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2AArrange chronologically in order of appearance.. You can try reading out of order but you'll miss a lot of references and cameos along the way
>>628597Thanks. Have some ecchi for your efforts.
>>628597>our autism will be forever remembered
>>628754This is why you make a good read instead of killing off characters left and right
>>628790Let's justify it as being for the 'greater good' from now on
>It has now been 23 hours and 23 minutes since NaP last posted in 4chan. 14 hours on the twatterMorale is running low and conditions are becoming unbearable.
>>629179We're down on the salt rations too.If we don't get reinforcements or a supply drop in one day, it may be the end for us.The war against the Ayy Lmaos isn't going as well as we thought. They have some pretty huge salt reserves.I wonder how they're doing on the other side, against the wyverns. I hope they still have their anal virginity.
>>629179He needs sleep anyway. His gaming/shitposting habbits run him raggid
>>629225Wyverns raping us hard over here. We have alot of anally wounded but no dead, can't continue the offensive however since they got mindbroken.We need fresh reinforcements to replace the traumatised ones and alot of lube support
>>629262Also tell the faggot who handles our supplies to stop including suppositories, its triggering the PTSD of our wounded here
>>629262I have bad news for allCannon has returned and killed op and 4chan
>>629289Well cannons are weapons meant for murder afterall
>>629295There is one bright sideCannons massive salt overload gave enough salt for a resurrection ritual,but it will take 10 years to complete If we had more salt we might be able to half the timeI blame barbs
>>629306The barbs are the cause of all of our problems but also the source of like 90% of our salt reserves.
>>629313But they create skeletons... which are 40% of adventures
>>629355Wich also includes all of our problems
>>629355They didn't create skeletons.They got the ability to control skeletons.
>>629355>skellingtons in 40% of adventuresI guess you can say that OP has a boner for skellies
>>628790>>628754>There will never be a wiki page for all of NaP's adventuresOne you faggots should start working on one, or at least give him an entry in the /tg/ wiki
>>629681>/tg/He didn't ever really go to /tg/ at least I never saw him there his adventures were normally on late night /v/ until /qst/ came along.
>>630055That explains why his quests are always so full of salt. Only /v/ could be the source of this much salt.
>>630406You should've seen Villain Quest 1.God's bored of Greg now.
who still in here for thread to continue
Rolled 10 (1d10)rocks ready
Rolled 69 (1d100)O shit we backnat 100 incomin>>630691>>630631Hiya
>>626328Bounced on head and crashed into a window
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>630698Loot room
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>630698Steal whatever armor is inside.We need a better disguise
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>630698jump out of building from another side
>>630699You found: some barrels
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>630703Throw barrels donkey kong style at the Paladins
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>630703>>630705
How do I roll?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>630710dice+1d100 in the options field
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>630717Throw a flaming barrel at them so they have more enemies to deal with
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>630717substitute yourself with actual monkey and sneak away
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>630717Grab the princess and climb to the next level
>>630721THere's no princesses here, just an elf hiding in a corner hoping all the scary poeple would leave
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>630724ADVANCE TO THE NEXT LEVEL WITH THE ELF IN HANDHOW HIGH CAN YOU GO, PALADINS?
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>630724Call him a fag and take a barrel insteadElves are useless as hostages
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>630724what inside the barrels anyway?is it broth?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>630733>>630728
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>630733Keep the barrel as your most prized possession, no one can take it. Bust out of there and head for the wall
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>630733ANGRYANGRY ABOUT ELVES
>>630738You break yet another window as you umped oout of the building
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>630740Aim for water, use the barrel to catch some gnar waves and surf outta here my dude
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>630740can we see the outer wall yet
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>630740Use the barrel as a stepping point midair to jump up to the roof.
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>630740It's night time now so it's easier to escape
>>630745"You won't escape in the darkness! Our Holy Vision™ will find you!"Man, the dragon paladins were infinitely easier to deal with, those were good times
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>630752Try prayin to whatever god picks up the phone.
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>630752oh shithide in our barrel and sneak towards the wall then
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>630752Pray to the god of luckHide in the light so their holy vision doesn't see you
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>630752>56 wins over 60>>630743wut?run faster or something. Paladins must be exhausted with their flesh bodies
>>630758Huh, misread that, so to answer your question. "No"
>>630760>Huh, misread that, so to answer your question. "No"this going be a long run
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>630763?Just my imagination
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>630763it actually works
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>630763?>>630764
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>630763The barrel turns out to be lined with anti-paladin runes, they can't see you (or so you believe)
>>630764Yes, it's just your immagination. Like how you're immagining a paladin resting his elbow on your barrel, preventing you from moving. I mean that can't be real as obviously your disguise is perfect
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>630775force barrel to turn sideways and roll with it
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>630775oh shit, their holy vision saw usGET OUT OF THERE, SNAKE!
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>630775Salt Demon!Shoopy doopy doo doo woo!
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>630775Pray for an alignment change
>>630778You got out of the barrel
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>630781RUN LIKE YOU'VE NEVER RAN BEFOREAlso, shed a tear for the barrel
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>630781CLIIIMB LIKE A SPIDER UP THE NEAREST WALL
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>630781Run 2: Run HarderAlso pray for an alignment change
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>630781Into the sewers!
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>630781Run to the church! We should at least pray for good fortune from these evil paladins!
>>630783"You're not doing that again"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>630789>>630784
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>630789>>630779
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>630789Actually do that again
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>630789Let him take that leg, we never needed it anywayit's detachable
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>630789You're the scat man, skibididibibiyomdododoo
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>630789Kiss the paladin
>>630793YOu yelled out something about a salt demon along with some gibberish as the paladin throws you to the ground
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>630801roll for evasionhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hy8kmNEo1i8
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>630801Kick the paladin in the nuts while we're down here
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>630801Ask him why he must be purged! Hooded Bones values life!
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>630801Pray for an alignment change.
>>630801Point upwards and yell "LOOK A DISTRACTION" and run like hell.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>630806
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>630802The paladin throws a simple punch at youRoll 2d100 for evasion, first is the picking number, second just have to beat whatever number I rolled
Rolled 74, 60 = 134 (2d100)>>630810PRAY FOR AN ALIGNMENT CHANGE MIDDODGE
Rolled 32, 46 = 78 (2d100)>>630810FREESTYLAhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymNFyxvIdaM
Rolled 75, 43 = 118 (2d100)>>630810
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>630810Shiet also rolling for cameo appearance
Rolled 62, 82 = 144 (2d100)>>630810YOU WA SHOCKgo all hokuto no ken on his ass
Rolled 2, 10 = 12 (2d100)>>630810
Rolled 1 (1d10)>>630810URAAAAA
>>630813>>630811>tfw made a possible tie even worse
Rolled 27, 20 = 47 (2d100)>>630814I'm retarded>>630816>>630811>>630813Anon y
>>630813Well that was a failure
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>630826ROLL FOR COUNTER PUNCHALSO GET ANGRY
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>630826It was a ruseYou really ran away while your shadow clone took the hit
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>630826blame elves
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>630826Why are you trying to kill me anyway!?!?!Ia trying to save my humans, not kill them!
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>630826Your skull cracks, making you look a bit more bad ass
>>630832"Don't blame unrelated things for your failures"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>630837LEG ITAlso try praying for an alignment change
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>630837dodge palading attack while kicking his legs
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>630837>>630829PUNCH HIM QUICKLY
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>630837Roll dodge and enter an Almighty Praying position
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>630841Same deal as before, roll 2d100
Rolled 81, 77 = 158 (2d100)>>630846
Rolled 58, 21 = 79 (2d100)>>630846GET FUCKING MAD
>>630847Punch success, you stopped the paladin from smashing you for a bit
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>630853LEFT HOOKUSE YOUR OTHER FIST RIGHT INTO HIS FACE
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>630853NOW RUN AWAY INTO THE SUNSET
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>630853Run for your undead life I'll just make this my last try at praying for an alignment change
>>630856You ran and prayed.The paladins are a bit surprised at your praying
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>630862KEEP PRAYING WHILE RUNNING, IT'LL DISTRACT THE PALADINS
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>630862distract them enough so they'll lose track of you
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>630862Pray to the Almighty!
>>630863"You pray?!""You speak the name of God?!"The paladins shout as they chase after you
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>630871How do you think skeletons were given life?! Science!?!Yes, we pray to the Almighty!
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>630871that affects their running capabilities.While it doesn't affect yours.Therefore you outrun themINTO THE SUNSET
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>630871KEEP PRAYINGBROCK HASN'T HELPED US SO WE SHOULD CHANGE GODSPRAY TO THE ALMIGHTY!
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>630871>>630872
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>630871A voice is heard, it sounds to be coming a man with no lips "Yes ME!"Brock appears and cuts the Paladins from their power.
>>630876"Then why do the tribal skeletons and barbarians keep praying to some guy named Brock anyway?""Who the hell's Brock?""I dunno, some asshole tribal god probably"
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>630881We pledge our allegiance to the almighty so the Paladins stop chasing us.
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>630881while they stand in confusion - RUN FOR IT
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>630881The paladins feel a disturbance up above in the heavens, as if a shift in the balance of power has happened.
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>630881Brock is one of the Almighty's children. All the gods stopped communication with us after you captured us. The Almighty is all we can turn to.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>630881Run while praying to brock for a big rock to fall on them
>>630882"Ah, so you wish to convert?"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>630892Yes, even though this may turn us into a human
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>630892Yes. If it means saving my people
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>630892JOKES ON YOUrun thru their legs, while tripping them over
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>630892Yes.But can I stay a skeleton?
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>630892I will convert if it means my people can live safely
>>630896Sadly the paladin legs are sturdier than you though and you're blocked
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>630900Ask them for confidence in this whole conversion thing.It's very bone rattling.
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>630900we were just kidding about trying to run, we'll convert to save our people
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>630900Pray for real. No backsies
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>630900USE SICK BREAKDANCE MOVES TO TRIP THEM OVERFREESTYLA
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>630900I'm the demons within compelled me to attempt escape, please convert me and save my people
>>630901"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you have no guts"[Ba-dum-tish]
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>630900Daaang bro how much did you squat to get these fit-ass thighs
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>630909entrance them with rock music and make escape
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>630909hahaconvert for real, no more joking around
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>630909Right in the humerus.Alright no seriously can we do this and stay a skeleton?
>>630913"Sure. The paladin who punched you and was going to smash you with a hammer is also a skeleton"
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>630914oh shit we exclaimlet's convert thenLOCK IN
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>630914ask about his storywhile searching for escape route
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>630914Neat.Do it
>>630917"Very well. I accept thee into the Church of The Almighty"
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>630919somewhere in deeps of your consciousness you pray Brock to interfere
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>630919Study and work hard to work for the freedom of your barbs and the not slaughter of our skelebros
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>630919Checkout Holy Vision™
>>630922It is done. You are now a member of the church.
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>630925and race traitor
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>630925[Holy Intensifies]
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>630925Become Hooded Paladin and work the arena to convert your barbs
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>630925welp, we're a citizen of the Kingdom nowuse our new faith to learn holy powers
Rolled 37 (1d100)Brock notices. Plot intensifies
>>630926Barbarians are humans also, hachachachacha
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>630931>>630929
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>630931but muh independence
>>630932And to do that, the other paladins sent you to the Training Camp fro new recruits. A cleric greets you.
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>630938Greetings brother
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>630938Say we want holy powers
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>630938punch self in the face
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>630943Engage training montage. Paladin training
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>630943>>630941
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>630943ask if they stop hunting skellies out there.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>630953prepare for graduation ceremony
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>630953Wow. We learned a lot. My people arnt being murdered, right?
>>630953oh shit nigga we get a buster sword
>>630954"Right, it is almost time for you to become a full fledged paladin. Now, before the ceremony you will have to go through what all paladins went through. Picking your set of equipment"
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>630959pick giant robot
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>630959THE GIANT ROBOT
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>630959Holy Not-at-phallic Spear
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>630959don't paladins just get a standard set of equipment? if not let us see what we can choose from
>>630962"Only master paladins get those"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>630968What can we choose then?
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>630968>>630964
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>630968show us what we can get
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>630968stingycan I get ridiculously huge sword set then?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>630968Acquire new set of hallowed robes and an dual hammers... That function as aspergillums... And loads of holy water.
>>630974"Sure, if you want to. Each paladin gets to pick their own personal weapon. From normal swords, maces, hammers, gauntlets to spears, greatswords and greathammers"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>630982DUAL WIELD GREAT SWORDSLOCK IN
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>630982get us a holy broomstick.LOCK IN
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>630982Do you have bigger swords than great ones?
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>630982>>630976
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>630982DUAL WIELD DOOMFISTSLOCK ON IN
>>630983"If you can life them, then go ahead"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>630992LIFT IT BY ROLLING HIGH
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>630992attach some rocket thrusters to each
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>630992Dual wield doomfists instead
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>630992Take normal spear and set it on Holy Fire out of habit
Rolled 28, 11 = 39 (2d50)>>630993Roll 2d100. Second number just have to be higer than the result of my dices
Rolled 31, 34 = 65 (2d100)>>63099739? fucking ez
>>630997>39How can anyone fail at this
>>630998>>630997>>630999oh shit nevermindI fucked up, our bones need more calcium
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>630997I guess 2 big swords would be fun
Rolled 7, 84 = 91 (2d100)>>630997
Rolled 39, 42 = 81 (2d100)>>630997ZANKANTOUS
>>630998>>630999I spoke too soon
>>630998Hmm"Maybe just one greatsword for now."
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>631010let's get those dealt weild gauntlets
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>631010We go with one greatsword until we get stronger to wield two. Proceed towards graduation.
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>631010One great sword, light on Holy Fire.
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>631010I blame 4chins and slow updatesand elvesattach cannons to arms instead
>>631014Updates suck for me too
>>631011"Ah yes, the gauntlets, A nice choice. Now let's go get your armor"
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>631017Do we get to choose our armor too?
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>631017as long as we can keep our hood whatever is fine
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>631017find hooded armourand with giant shoulders
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>631017Holy Fire gauntlets
>>631019"Well yes, do you pick the good ol' standard paladin armor? Or the light version for more dexterity? Or perhaps you'd prefer the heavy armor?"
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>631027Regular paladin armor with matching hood.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>631027Light with hood
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>631027Any mystery box options?
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>631027heavy armor but with custom huge shoulderplates
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>631027lightest, we are currently quick as fuck so why compromise our main advantage against shit
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>631027The secret box, Henshin belt
>>631030"Right, the light armor, and hood. So which kind of hood do you want? And do you want a cape too?"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>631039Bottom left hood, yes to cape
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>631039light armour, top left hood and cape
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>631039Bottom right hood with cape
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>631039regular hoodbigger cape
We literally chose all 4 hoods. Different tastes for all
>>631045"Right, are you sure this is your selection?"
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>631051yee, that's badassproceed to graduation
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>631051I want bigger shoulder plates, small one are for wusses
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>631051"Yes, for I'm now a badass purgicator!
>>631053"Right, one last thing. Lightly armored paladins are usually sent on recon missions, and to do so they need to be less conspicuous than their heavier armored brothers. To that end they usually carry a Holy Disguise Belt, which simply casts a illusion spell over their armor to show them in regular clothing. It can be deactivated at will, some like to make a pose when they do that though. Do you want one too?"
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>631062Yes, we're a sneaky nigga
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>631062does EVERYONE sees you camouflaged? Including paladins and such?
>>631063And so you took the belt then had a graduation ceremony, you're now an official paladin
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>631067Ask if we can make one last prayer to brock to tell him he can go scew himself, and if it is allowed proceed to do so
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>631067Smite some heretics for the hell of it
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>631067Protect our brother skeletons and barbs with our power
>>631070Aaaand you prolly murdered your own tribe.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>631067>>631071
>>631070And so you smote the nearest heretics.Some of your tribal skeletons who still worships Brock.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>631075Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>631075Keep in smiting while getting boner from it.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>631075Un-smite! Convert!!!
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>631075personally lead the crusade against your former comradeand make sure they see your face as you do it
>>631081Go back to bed
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>631083>>631081
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>631083get a perk "Religion Traitor"
I might as well stop here. Canon will just undo any progress we make
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>631090>>631081
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>631090Is Brock ok with all of this?
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631090Ignore all of Canon's posts
>>631090Request holy dagger from church for holy assassinations and such.
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>631095fug
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>631099>>631095
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>631099Brock ascends to kick shit out of ya
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>631099Convert him!Works like necromancy
>>631102>inb4 can't control NPCs
>>631102You can't control NPCsAlso it's "Descend"
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>631106Suddenly got the vision of dragon messiah...
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>631105>god>npc>>631106could broke a rule for that sweet 100 rollI'm mad about religions
>>631108Just like how manlets were mad about you killing their protag
>>631109We didnt mean to kill him. We thought it would just be a failed attack. Not auto murder
>>631107Suddenly, your Holy Vision™ flares up. It's something having to do with the dragon messiah of the dragon tribe.>>631112Oh I didn't mean "you" as in "barbarians", I meant "you" as just him because back in the manlet thread most of the manlet hate was directed towards him
>>631109I didn't kill him, I made Manlet Rider, why I would want to kill himalso he is alive and selectablealso this >>631112
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>631114remember your hate for chicken brains and hunt him down
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>631114What do you see ?
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>631114Convert. Dont purge
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>631114See the moment when Dragon messiah speaks with Brock and how Brock is now fueled by conflict.
>>631117The vision is blurry, but you can see that the dragon has escaped the city back to the old dragon caves. You the decided to hunt down the heretic. Your belt disguises yourself out of combat, maybe it would give you the element of surprise over the dragon.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>631124Disguise as an orc with elephant fruit
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>631124disguise as manlet
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>631124Get ourself a giant dildo and track down the dragon messiah. We shall rape it... Literal or unliteral or both.
>>631126The belt only disguises your armor into your regular clothes, that's the only thing it does
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>631131Disguise as Jew to attact it to possible hoard
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>631131yeah, huge crest on the belt is not giveaway in slightest
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>631131go to the ruins of the citadel
>>631132Nigga do you have brain problems.Or do you mean disguise as a jew using something else and not the belt.You better say yes or imma think you have brain problems
>>631133Player perception, to non-paladins it looks like a normal belt
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>631135grab a jew mask and put it over your face
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>631135No we shall disguise as... old Sean Connery.
>>631135Jews wear clothes, do they not?
>>631139But do they wear your clothes though
>>631138BUt how can you do that when you do-"Hey you! YOu want this old man mask that I just happen to ahve for some reason?"
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>631142nah, ask for Todd mask instead
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>631142That jew! Disguise as THAT jew!
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>631144>>631142ThisThe mask of the biggest jew
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>631142Want that mask!!!
>>631144"Lucky for you I also have that mask for some reason"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631149Lets go with Sean Connery
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>631149How convenientsmite him for being jewish then take them both
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>631149Todd it is
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>631149The todd maskOnce we meet the messiah, we tell him sweet little lies
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>631149Dickass thief steals both of them
>>631155>no controlling npcsI dont think he's around yet either
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>631157Get is glasses. Wear them over the Sean Connery mask
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>631156we can always became one>>631157smite glasses too
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>631157Disguise as jew, continue
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>631164is it working yet?
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>631164Wonderful!
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>631164Everything is terribleFind messiah
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>631164Perfection. Time to head towards the dragon citadel!
>>631169And so you did
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>631171Convert skellies along the way
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>631171sidetrack to arena
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>631171Convert skellies to become more like James Bond (or James Bone).
>>631173And so you convert the skeletons that aren't fervent worshippers of Brock over to the churchGotta go eat dinner, be back in a bit
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>631177you with converted skeletons eat notpaladins dinner
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>631177Skeletal remains of NaP's food attack Brock
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>631177Go on a killing spree of skeletons who aren't worshippers of God.
>>631194>which one :D
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>631202Chew
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>631202Take that dog as a companion
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>631206burgers, Apollo
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>631208classic los angeles burgers, obviouslyalso you walk into drilled hole
>>631212But this is clearly a jelly donut
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>631214eat itpostpone thread cause no one around?
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>631214Eat the onigiri with style without acting like a weaboo.
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>631219dragon meatyou want to eat dragon meat
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>631219The jelly donut sandwich muskrat ball
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>631219Screw that! Go and get the giant holy dildo and track down the dragon messiah.
>>631222Woah bro that sounds kinda gay
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>631223Go back to looking for the dragon heretic
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>631223Find messiah.
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631223>>631220
We should visit arena once we got back to convert actual barbarians
>>631226Right, let's get back to our quest
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>631232Holy Vision™ receives a reaction
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>631232or stop by and eat some jerky in arena
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>631232Ey, found him!Or skelebroSomething.You find something
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>631232Enjoy and take notice of the surrounding while we go there
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>631223Naah... We simple do it for sake of holy mission and lol.>>631232Track down the dragon.
>>631234You're a skeleton, you don't even need to eat. But oh hey a jerky seller
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>631238But were brokeWe just started our job and we havent been paid yet
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>631238Buy. Convert if jew
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>631238the process of chewing is compelling you see
>>631245Me fuggin ur mum is compe--"You guys want some jerky? Only a coin for 5 pieces"
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>631246We have no money
Rolled 3 (1d10)>>631246punch him in the balls
>>631247"Oh okay, sorry for bothering you"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>631249Convert barbs in arena
Rolled 50 (1d100)>>631249Curse the Go- Curse Brock for all your problems
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>631249realize that you've been doing paladin's work for FREE
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>631249Go convert the orcs and barbs to save them
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>631249Go to a temple of God. See if he responds to us.
>>631256And so you enter the nearest church."Greetings, brother. Wat brings you here?"
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>631259You hear someone yell from the arena calling you a wuss for doing volunteer work
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631259legs
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>631259Praying for the conformity of my barb brothers
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>631265The sound of two gay elves going at it
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631265WUSSSCARED OF PALADINS SO CONVERTEDCAN'T TAKE HAMMER IN THE FACEWUSS
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>631265>>631264
>>631269Oh lawd, I pray my barbarian brothers stop being heretics so I don't have to purge them, amen
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>631271from a distance >>631268
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>631271Amen
>>631273How many times do I have to say you can't control NPCs
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>631276Share the prayer and speak gospel to the human barbs
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>631276maybe it's your second ego yells in your head
>>631277And so you did.Most of them just yelled expletives at you
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>631279pray to Brock
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>631279Try to convert Brock into our (new) religion
>>631280Such heresy is no longer needed
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>631282do it anyway
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>631282Holy Vision™ shows you something important
>>631283O Brock, thou art a huge faggot and a heretic, amen.The barbarians have gotten more loud with their insults
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>631286>>631284
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>631286continue your "praying" to Brock in front of barbarians
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>631286Share gospel with rocks for them to understand
>>631287It seems the Dragon Messiah is making his way back into the city
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>631290Look for any Barb and Orcs willing to join your cause here in the cells. Actually, just swing by Wan Pan's cell and ask him.
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>631290dig a hole
>>631292As you prepare to make your way to the Orc cells, a barbarian yells out "Wait! I wanna join!"
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631295Give Barb, the test of ultimate faith Offer him a jerky
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>631295and who is that barb exactly
>>631297man what time is it? Are we two the only players left?
>>631297Just a barbarian
Im here. I just like Solids direction
>>631300Whoops forgot pic
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>631300suspiciouspull his beard
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>631302Convert him
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>631303>>631302pull his beard
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>631302Let's name him for his new life!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>631310TAKE OFF HIS HAT
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>631310>>631308
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>631310use holy vision on him
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>631319Solid Hat Canon
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>631319Real Beard
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>631319Punchy Mcpunch
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>631319FaggotLock in
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>631327Yes
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>631327NCall him Traitor #2
>>631329No way. Solid Hat Canon is the perfect blend of conflicted opinions
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>631330screw thatI'm mad about religion>>631331click OK
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631331No, Solid Hat Canon
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>631331No Call him Barbara
>>631333Rocks have spoken, clearly
>>631337In rocks we trust
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>631331Lets name him Horny Barbarian
>>631333Ptoink, he is now Traitor #2
Rolled 91 (1d100)Abegayle Call him Abegayle
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>631340check your party screen
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>631340Travel to the orc cells and piss the orcs off about them not having waifus
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>631345>>631343
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>631345Convert Traitor 2 to Jew- Er.... Whatever it is we worship.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>631345perfect party for secret organization who want world domination.set as your goal is to rule the kingdom
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>631345Drop off skellies at church, take Traitor to Orc cages
>>631348Now the orcs yell profanity at you
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>631356C O N V E R T
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>631356show them limited editions of latest bible's goodies
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>631356Flash the orcs.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>631361Flash the orcs... Your butthole!
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>631356Scout for Traitor #3 among the orcsDiversity is strenght
>>631360"Ooooh, a collector's item"
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>631365Convert them
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>631365and you can get it by paying the low cost of an eternal servitude to the one and only god.
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>631365followers of this kingdom's religion get a discount for preordering limited editions, you know?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>631365Tell them that servitude under God will grant them their Waifus in the afterlife.
>>631370"Hmmmmm" Orcs are thinking
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631375We cant control npcsWhat do they say?
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>631375Burn the tower down
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>631375also show them King figmas and Paladins plamos
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>631375Promise them nun waifus
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>631375promise them that God will give them their waifus in their afterlife
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>631381>>631382
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>631381>>631379
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>631382>>631381
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>631388For super reals
>>631390Orcs have been successfully converted to the side of the church
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>631388nah, just messing with ya
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>631393poor bastards
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>631393Save game
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>631393Ask nearest paladin if they can join the Order
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>631393all of them? Even Wan Pan? Time to go to the church and equip them with Paladin Shit
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>631393Kill the orc's waifus
>>631399"Like all recruits, they need to complete their training first"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>631402they actually do better job at training than you do
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>631402Training Montage!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>631403>>631402
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>631402We'll Train them ourselves.MONTAGE
>>631403You can't control NPCs
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>631410Training montage activate with you personally training them as their instructor
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>631410lets ignore the orcs for nowFind elves to convert
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>631410it's easy to forget you seeyou train together with themand fail miserably
>>631411Ands their training is completetoot toot
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>631416Name your squad the Boner Brothers
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>631416that's a lot of paladins
>>631416I like it
>>631418Indeed that isSuddenly"Brothers! A dragon claiming to be the last of its kind requests an audience with the church and the king! He claims it concerns the fate and balance of the world!"
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>631423Greet the dragon
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>631423Visit the barbarian heretics first to laugh at them
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631423attend the audiencebut remember old grudges and attack dragon during it
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>631423might be that demigod homo dragon, lets try to convert him to the true god as well
>>631426"Greetings, skeletal paladin"
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>631433looks... sane
Rolled 19 (1d100)>>631433Ask why the dragon has come here and what he wants to discuss.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>631433Make an anal rape joke to make him visibly uncomfortable
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>631433try to convert himhe would make a great golden paladin dragon
>>631434"Listen, there's is a great danger looming over the horizon! Heaven is becoming unbalanced because the work of a renegade god: The Barbarian God Brock"
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>631443Let's murderize that faggot & heretic
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>631443This seems to be heresy, of the highest gradeAsk him if he has proofs
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>631443ask for proof
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>631443Join him in cursing Brock
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631443>>631439agree to help him if he converts, taking down brock or any other god will surely get our status with the paladins higher
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>631443Prove it, fag
>>631445"That's right! He is a murderous faggot and heretic! During the time we tribes have been imprisoned, he has devoured the other tribal gods an taken their powers! He now aims to take over heaven and become the Almighty himself! I know this becaus Brock appeared to me in a vision I was having down inside a tunnel"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>631460dude is talking crazyBrock is a bro
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>631460Convert Messiah to the One True Faith
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>631460Oh shit it's the kingLet him judge the situation before we do anything
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>631460Brock is a jackass
Rolled 34 (1d100)I am sure the almighty can handle it and does not need our help,if he cant handle a single minor god then he doesn't deserve to be the almighty
>>631464"Well, since my father and the deity I worship is dead and all my kin died. Not much else I can do, sure"
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>631472Give him his golden scales back
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>631472>>631469
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>631472Time skips to Messiah finishing his paladin training and becoming a badass Golden Paladin
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>631472>>631463
We have orc offtanks and Messiah nukemageOur Godslaying party is complete. We should visit the barbarians later to laugh at them
Oh man. The Dragons just got cucked for the second if not third time.
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>631478still should get elves and manlets on board
>>631482Let mechlet become the ultimate godslaying machine.
>>631482Dont you remember the barb raid? They DECREASE your chance of winning
>>631482Knife ears will be too high and manlets are combat useless
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>631486Commence paladin training montage
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>631486is there manual for god killing anywhere near?
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>631486Fukkin rad. Time for paladin training. Also ask King and Highest of Priests for opinion regarding the incoming shitstorm.
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>631486Try to talk with Dragon God. He could still be alive.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>631486Lets visit the orphanage to increase their morale
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>631486now while the dragon trains lets pray and ask the almighty if he wants our help taking brock down or if he can handle it himself