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Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribes who inhabitited the nondescript generic fantasy land has all been enslaved (in varying degrees) by The Kingdom ruling the aforementioned nondescript generic fantasy land.
Now they must either accept their fate or break out and free their own tribe. Other tribes optional.

Your current protagonist is a member of the goblin tribe, which was absorbed into The Kingdom and now live as citizens of the Kingdom
You are also secretly another heir to the manlet throne, Prince Imp II.

Currently you're in the middle of a regular work day at the library, what do you do?

Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.

Previous threads:
http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2A
https://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>637485
Punch self in face
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>637485
decide to have lunchbreak
>>
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>>637489
Right, timee to check out the lunch you brought: an apple. Because you're a cheap asshole
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>637493
Eat apple
Read a book too while punching self in face
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>637485

Search the archive for advanced technology books
>>
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>>637495
>>
>>637497
>>637493

meant for
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>637500
nigga, we already know how to read
let's look in the library for advanced Kingdom technology
>>637497
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>637500
check your tasklist for today
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>637500

Welp...

>>637497
>>
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>>637504
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>637507
Let's collect those new shipment of books from the mail
who else is working with us?
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>637507
>>637497

And read them while performing your tasks
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>637507
Putting books away and showering are the same task? Man, the boss is weird
>>
>>637485
damn I was gonna do homework but I guess that's in the backburner now. ORCS REPRESENT
>>
>>637512
ayyy fellow greenskins
help us manlets out
>>
>>637513
no worries greenskin, we'll make sure that you guys don't have your protag die this time
>>
Let's see where this leads us.
>>
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>>637510
Sadly you do not work in a library that has access to these kinds of tomes. You work in The Library Of Novelty Instruction Tomes, which houses such classics like "How to tie your shoes" and "How to look slightly less depressed" and "How to pretend you're pretending" and the ever popular "How to scam people"

Anyway you're doing your tasks. Which firstly, invovle picking up the new shipment
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>637516
Pick up the books easily because we've been working out
also, see what we got
we might have gotten a rare book, so let's roll for it
>>
Rolled 7 (1d100)

>>637516
just read a book on "how to not be a retard" then while doing that.
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>637516

How do we go about getting access to the other sections of the archives?
>>
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>>637517
Roll 2d100 for rare book
First is picking second is result
1-59: normal book
60-79: uncommon book
80-99: rare book
100: ancient artifact tome of secrets
>>
Rolled 4, 93 = 97 (2d100)

>>637522
TRIPLE
DIGITS
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>637516
Question if a monk becomes a paladin, does he become that monk type in the robes like frier tuck?
>>
Rolled 89, 87 = 176 (2d100)

>>637522
>>
>>637522
>>
Rolled 53, 41 = 94 (2d100)

>>637522
Since pally orc fucked it up I'll make it worse
>>
>>637525
Yes, if he did smonk training instead of paladin or cleric training
>>
>>637528
it's still a Rare Book, I didn't fuck nothing
>>
>>637529
So what does that make WanPan?
>>
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>>637526
Doot Doot Doo Doo
>>
>>637530
My bad thought it was 90-99
>>
>>637531
An Orc
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>637532
AW SHIT NIGGA
LET'S READ IT
while putting said books in the correct bookcase alphabetically
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>637532
Isnt it nice that we don't have to kill off main characters to move to the next?
READ THE BOOK, FIND ITS SECRETS!
>>
>>637534
Oh you
>>
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>>637536
"Step 1: Find ancient artifact"

"Step 2: Dig up said artifact"

"Step 3: Pat yourself on the back as you have unearthed an ancient artifact"

Then the rest of the pages are just doodles of the author digging stuff
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>637541
How good are these doodles?
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>637541
Treasure Hunter perk gained
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>637541
>>637543
This, they might be really detailed drawings
>>
Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>637541
Screw that and go back to your job
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>637541

Gain new skill Digging.
>>
Test
>>
Rolled 6, 3 + 1 = 10 (2d6 + 1)

dice mix up test
>>
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>>637545
Oh yes, the best
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>637549
guess you can't do stuff like dice+2d6+1d10
>>637550
Does this book have any maps?
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>637550
oh shit
looks even better than OP's drawings
we gain the treasure hunter perk
from reading the book
>>637544
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>637550
draw dicks on everyone in the book then put it in its propper spot
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>637550
who wrote this? embark on a quest to call him a faggot after work
>>
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>>637552
Ptoink
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>637553
>>637556
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>637556
Take a sick day to go look for said treasure
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>637556
Organize the rest of the books while punching self in the face to get stronger
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>637556

And also gain perk Self Puncher because we punching on our face.
>>
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>>637558
ker-plop
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>637562
Take a day off you earned it
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>637562
Scroll down task list, also take shower
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>637562

Scream in autstic rage and arrange the book in correct order.
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>637562
ask around for ancient burried treasures, maybe someone knows something
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>637562
lets find another book to draw more dicks in
what picture books are there to choose from
>>
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>>637563
Not according tothe Day Off Progress Meter
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>637569

Work your way through the archival hierarchy in order to gain access to books detailing advanced tech.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>637569
>>637564
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>637569
>>637567
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>637569

Try writing own book. A book about How to Punch Yourself in the Face.
>>
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>>637571
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>637575
well, that's easy
Gather up all the manlets in the Kingdom and declare yourself King Imp the II since the other heirs are dead
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>637575
look for book about thrones, maybe we can build one
>>
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>>637576
"pfffy, nigga pls"

"We didn't vote for you"
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>637580
but there's only one person to vote on and that's me.
or are you gonna stare wistfully into the sunset again and be useless?
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>637580
You don't vote in a Monarchy you uncultured foolts
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>637580
Yes you did, it was back in '94
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>637580

That went horribly.

>>637570
>>
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>>637583
"We know, but back in the tribal days we were an elective monarchy"

"Anyway, since you mentioned that, this is our King now"
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>637590
Get sad
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

How can I convince you guys to vote me for King?
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>637590
>>637587
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>637590
fuck it, found your own kingodm with blackjack and hookers.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>637590

Try to form your own merchan empire and become King of Merchant instead.

CAPITALISM HO!!!
>>
>>637595
lel
>>
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>>637595
yeah! Who needs those jerks! You'll have your own kingdom!
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>637600
Start build it out books
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>637600
Quit your job and convince some manlets to follow you outside the wall to start a new village.
>>637601
also use books for construction
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>637600
>>637594
>>
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>>637602
"Hell no faglord. Why the ass would we go back outside to the shitty wilds with yo bitch ass?"

"Didn't you sayd you'd found your own kingdom, lmao"
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>637605
Slap that nigga with the heaviest book you got
threaten to do it to the others if they don't follow you
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>637605
>>637603
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>637605
Didn't Yo momma die in them wilds nigga?
>>
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>>637606
But the heaviest book you got can't be lifted by you either since you're a tiny manlet
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637611
Work hard, gain money, montage scene showing how we rise through the library's ranks
Because we'll BUY our kingdom through sweat and tears
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>637611
Slap that nigga with the heaviest book we CAN LIFT then
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>637611
Invite some goblins to peek on goblin wimmen showers or something

manly bonding activity!
>>
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>>637614
"Oh I'm sorry! I didn't our "future king" is also a huge perrrrv"

"Get lost ya sicko"
>>
Rolled 23 (1d100)

>>637615
call them out on their hentai collection that they borrowed from the library
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>637615
Fly away towards the sunset instead.
>>
Rolled 37 (1d100)

>>637615
It's not like you don't "borrow" sick fetish porn "articles", I know you do, fagballs
>>
Rolled 38 (1d100)

>>637615

Bitchlspa their shit.
>>
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>>637616
"We have no idea what you're talking about"
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>637620
wait a minute, I thought there was a Kobbo and Gobbo race war? Why are you two pals again?
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>637620
THE FUCK IS THAT?
WHAT ARE YOU HIDING?
>>
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>>637621
"cuz imps suck, lmao"
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>637624
Call them bitches
Say they're too used to living under the King that they forgot the basics of Manlet culture
'We all equal down here' , 'tall people are assholes'
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>637624
Ignite an Impo v Kobbo/Gobbo Race War. Actually just fly like 2 feet above them and ask how's the weather down there
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>637624

Ask where you can find Urk the Half-Orc-Goblin guy who still owes us golds.
>>
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>>637625
"Yeah and you can fly to ba taller than us, so that makes you a huge asshole"

"Like gaping huge"
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>637634
Spit fire on them
literally and figuratively
>>
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>>637635
ptoit
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>637636

Fuck them lets go get access to some actual tech books
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

Then poop on them>>637636
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>637636
Enough messing around.
Ask them how we can get their vote so we can get back on the throne.
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>637636
Reign(Rain) some fucking leadership on them, you useless piece of shit. Show them you're worth following. A chicken in every pot, etc. Show them your newly developed muscles after all that time you spent at the gym.
>>
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>>637640
"I dunno, what can you provide?"
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>637645
Mouth full of shit open wide fuck boy
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>637645
I wont abandon you guys to fight cloud people like your current king
>>
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>>637647
"Iunno, cloud people are pretty big assholes"

"LMAO LOOK AT THOSE FAGS" - Cloud Person
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>637650
Tell them we'll keep it sunny and remove the cloud people. Also tell them Kobold Goddess is in need of help and we need to unite to get her back.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637650
DEATH TO THE CLOUD ASSHOLES
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>637650
They fight for gods who dont care about you. They're tall assholes
>>
Why haven't we read "How to scam people"? It might be useful
>>
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>>637654
"And we used to fight for dragons who don't care bout us. Personally I think humans have been gud so far"

"I converted to The Holy Church so now God do care about me!"

"I'm an atheist so i don't really care either way"

"Humans also don't want to bathe us in their semen so they can pollute our gene pool so that's a huge plus for me"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637656
Call them faggot hypocrite cuckold cowards. The Goblins were the ones who decided to procreate with dragon semon which made us and the kobolds.
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>637656
Tell them they could be making inventions instead of working in a sweat shop.
We could be out finding treasure like GIANT ROBOTS
Do you want to be boring the rest of your lives or explore?
>>
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>>637660
"What sweatshop? I work in a weapons forge"

"I work in a bakery"

"I'm part of the Royal War Machines Development Team"

"I'm part of an Adventuring Guild"
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>637665
We're being used as target practice by others. Also what have you even adventured.
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>637665
Don't you all feel a guilt about us being the only race that got spared from slavery? The Orcs, our fellow greenskins are still enslaved at the arena. YOU'RE ALL TRAITORS TO THE MANLET RACE IF YOU THINK LIVING HERE IS GOOD. I'D RATHER DIE A FREE MAN THAN TO WORK UNDER THE HUMANS.
FUCKING ROLL TO CONVINCE THEM.
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>637665

We can build a giant war robot with inbuild weapon factory and bakery, at same time we can go for adventures.
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>637665
Don't you want better jobs?
>>
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>>637667
"Just recently we pilfered a tomb inhabited by evil beasts and got sweet sweet loot. Including this suit of ancient power armor"
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>637678
GIVE POWER ARMOUR
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>637678
>>637679
WE DIG GIANT ROBOTS
SOMEONE MAKE US A MOLE FUR COAT
>>
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>>637679
"pfffft, buzz off m8"

"Yeah, you gonna have to step back, imp boy"
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>637682
Tell them you've read the book on how to pilot giant robots
>>
>>637682
screw the other manlets, lets try to find manlet rider or whatever his name was, he might be able to convince the others that leaving is a good choice
>>
>>637682
Come on, gizza quick go in it
Promise I won't scratch it or nothin
>>
Rolled 44 (1d100)

>>637684
>>637682
forgot roll
>>
Rolled 87 (1d100)

>>637685
forgot to roll
>>
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>>637683
"please, that's a lie and you know it"
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>637688
>>637684
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>637688
well, if the other manlets aren't gonna help
let's go with
>>637684
>>
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>>637689
Hmm yes, that manlet rider guy. Heard he was another heir to the manlet throne but went crazy. Is surprisingly popular with other manlets for some reason. If you remember correctly he got into an accident and now his whereabouts are unknown. If you can find and sway him to your cause, the other manlets would surely follow
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>637695

We're jealous of the other manlet's solo progress. Time to work on some tech of our own.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>637695
begin the search for him
but first we should make our own superhero outfit and then try to become his sidekick
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>637695
Start playing his theme song to attract him
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637698
supporting this
>>
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>>637697
Right, time to brainstorm some costume ideas. You return home to your Vintage Shroom Ink and "paper" to do this
>>
Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>637703
Some sort of weeb armor like the one King Kobs the I had
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>637703

Sleek tech armor to go with the cyborg theme
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>637703
Oh shit. Uh, BATMAN. MAKE IT LOOK LIKE BATMAN.
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>637703
Black, with spikes
Literally Edgemeister III, the armour
>>
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>>637706
Hmmm
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>637710
>>637704
Make another design on another shroom paper
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>637710
hmm yes very impressive
let's fuckin build it
WITH LASERS
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>637710

Red vison, more tech. Also hidden weapon compartments and a sleek toolbelt, lasers and a lightning gun
>>
Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>637710
Make it blue black and green and base it off Kamen Rider RX
>>
>>637715

*visor
>>
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>>637712
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>637722
Make it sleeker and blue like a ninja instead.
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637722
ah yes
cyborg samurai
let's do it
>>
>>637722
It has been about 11 minutes? is OP ok?
>>
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>>637726
>>
>>637734
I kept getting the CAPTTCHA wrong

repeatedly

For 10 minutes
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>637735
neat, let's construct a makeshift version of that.
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>637735
If we can't become king, can we become a sub-king aka a Duke? Still rule the manlets but under the King?
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>637734
Thinking up costumes is hard. Like mechs. Give him a bit
>>637735
Lock in
>>
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>>637738
hmmm
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>637742
Try harder.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>637742
paint it blue.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>637742

work on the components little by little.
>>
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>>637744
>>
>>637748

Work on the components little by little instead of building the whole thing at once.

Start with the weapons.
>>
Rolled 15 (1d100)

>>637748
Great. You fixed the aesthetics and not much else. You get emotional with failure and power up
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>637749
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>637748
Fuck let's ask those weird manlet otakus, who make cosplay shit, how they make their costumes so good
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>637748
Let's go look for a Wizard to enchant it to not be shit
>>
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>>637752
Right, weapons,....what are your weapons?
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>637758
Electric Metal Skewers.d
>>
Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>637758

Physics gun, Laser, 2-handed Gravity Baton
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>637758

A staff that can transform into spear, three-section-staff and glaive.
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>637758
What weapons does the other hero have? Let's be thematically the opposite.
>>
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>>637762
tricky dicky
>>
>>637766
This looks good.
>>
Rolled 49 (1d100)

>>637766

Perfection!!!

Ask weaponsmith gobbo if he can build it.
>>
before we do anything crazy let's go to whatever job office there is in town and request a job change from library assistant to part-time hero or some shit. We need to get paid for this.
>>
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>>637770
"Oh? So Mr. Independence wants my help does he? Well..."

[laughs]
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>637774

"I bet you can't build it because you suck!"
>>
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>>637775
"Bitch please, I built like 5 of them while I was laughing at you"
>>
Suddenly thread fall silent, clearly everyone has left and so should I
>>
>>637779
seduce the weaponsmith
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>637779
Educate him on the health benifits of eating fruit.

Shout out to the kingdom "Good Morning Vietnam".
>>
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>>637785
"THE FUCK IS THAT YOU RETARD"
>>
Rolled 28 (1d100)

>>637788
>>637739
>>
Rolled 33 (1d100)

>>637788
fuck it, let's just go to the job registry whatever and officially change jobs to a hero
>>
Ya know, thread has slowed way down now, let's just save it for later
>>
>>637788
Question if he's ever picked up a book in his life.

Bullshit the explanation of the magical Vietnamise kingdom, where they eat dogs and elect leaders through their ability to fight like savages.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>637798
Proceed to run with pants around ankles.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>637798
Noooooo!

>>637788
Buy one of those weapons from the smith
>>
>>637798
yeah sure, save.
>>
>playing as boring ass imp king instead of Manlet Rider V2
regular manlets suuuck
>>
>>637806
>Kills manlet rider
>>
>>637815
that was Canon
>>
>>637788
dice+1d100
Steal one of the weapons from the weaponsmith
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>637828
1) thread is ended for now
2) dice+1d100 goes in Options field of reply
>>
Rolled 34 (1d100)

>>637828
I hate myself...
>>
>>637823
Nah attacking the King in the first place is sstill all you
>>
Rolled 55 (1d100)

>>637832
no one expects instadeath result even from that.
And really, at first King was surprised, we never knew our true powerlevel, so I assumed it decent enough to not be killed at least.
I clearly knew that we'll lose battle, then I wanted to go to training and hiding.
>>
>>637836
The King literally destroyed a massive skyscraper sized construct that had the power of all the tribes.
>>
>>637840
And?
I fail to see the issue here.
>>
>>637840
Yet the King said "No! It cannot be!" Etc etc, as if he was a threat. No one saw that coming.
>>
Didn't know a new thread was up

I was refreshing the previous thread for new replies for half a day lmao
>>
>>637898
Replace the manlet rider with a lady bug and you would get the same reaction
>>
Op ded now
>>
>>638297
He went to bed cuz yall were too slow with replies
>>
>>637898
And then someone replied with "he's just kidding but is still impressed"
That should have been the sign that we were out of our league
>>
Damn. OP keeps on making threads that I miss out on.
>>
>>638574
Everyone missed this thread.
>>
>>638591
Should've made a link in the previous thread tbhfamilaminam
>>
So I got bored and read some of the old threads
I forgot how much of a dick rock was and how broken the barbs were before we got curbstomped by the king
>>
>>638686
I remember Rock talking about committing quest suicide and just leaving the game because he kept on ruining it for other barbarians. I forgot what that was about.
>>
>>638703
So far from the threads I have read threw he's just been a hypocrite
Or he doesn't actually think the barbs did nothing wrong
In which case, good baiting good sir,good baiting
>>
>>638811
Remider that dragons did nothing wrong
>>
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>>639012
>deletes roll and proceeds to Jew everyone
>>
>>639022
Everyone had the resident dick
For the bards it was rock
For the dragons it was horny
For the elves... Elves didn't do much did they?
For orcs it was business orcs
King gob accidentally became the dick when he almost broke the alliance (didn't mater in the end,brabs were baisclly invincible till the king came)
>>
Talking about dragon... is Brood Mother still alive?

Want to see more reverse dragon rape.
>>
>>639054
The worst we did was doing a night attack on the barbarians but that was done in retaliation and without much opposition from other Elves if I recall.

>>639057
It's literally only Dragon Messiah left.
>>
>>639057
All drags are dead execpt for messiah

Never underestood why they kept researching new magics when it was stated that they suck at that and are good at improving current magic
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>639072

Maybe Dragon Messiah should breed with distant dragon cousin to make more dragons...

Otherwise he make babies with humans, but it would be fun if he make babies with orc or elf...
>>
>>639102
Why are you rolling
Besides that would lead to half dragons like kobolds and imps
They need divine intervention to truly come back
>>
>>639102
I suggested earlier that Dragon Messiah should breed with dragon kin like wyverns. Even if they were infertile hybrids like mules it would still lead to a Draconic race. Dragon Messiah would just but king who's immortal and constantly mates with female wyverns to make half-dragon half-wyvern beings.
>>
>>639115

Strange... I didn't remember to try rolling...

But anyway if the paladin defeated Brock, Dragon Messiah could become the new dragon god or ask Almighty very nicely if he could make new dragons who is less likely to sucide because of "Roll for anal circumference" joke.
>>
>>639143
I think that unless the almighty intervenes we gonna get rapped

If he does intervene there's a lot of holes that need filling
There's no dragon God
There's no kobold goddess
Brock is gone
Orc God is probably dead
Tree God is dead
There is some guys who can fill roles(salt satan is basically just a much angrier and weaker Brock)
>>
>>639205
Assuming that all the gods are dead, I do think there are ways to solve this. At least for the a Elves and Dragons that is. Dragon messiah is obviously the dragon messiah and the smiling son was conceived while Tree God was possessing the smiling one as a avatar meaning that he carries the seed of Tree God. There's a possibility that these characters could ascend and take the place of gods for their people. As for Orcs they're probably fucked and will just convert to the paladin religion. Barbarians would probably go the same route or just keep worshipping Brock since Rock still hasn't gotten the memo. Manlets have kind of always been agnostic assholes who worship the God of whatever people are ruling over them.
>>
>>639250
Well kobold goddess
But there was that thing with messiah that one time
But that's gone now
Kobold goddess is dead or Brock is going to marry her
Forcefully
>>
>>639299
>Brock is going to marry her
>Forcefully

I'm will not surprise that Brock will say... "I will ROCK your world with my BONER!"
>>
>>639312
And then manlet ridering intensifies as the goblin rider along with his imp side kick show up
>>
>>639054
King Gobbo cheated near the end pretending to be "gobbo on the trail" and forgot to switch IDs

Solid was fine. He was just battle thirsty. Canon literally tried to commit suicide and make the total human population into skeletons and make us lose. He was salt hungry before this quest started
>>
I hope that OP continues this quest as Imp king tomorrow.
>>
>>639885
He will.


Imp Prince
>>
>>639881
I thought Rock did something much worse and he was going to leave the quest at one point. Is it just my imagination or not?
>>
>>639931
Yea. We attacked the elf forest before we had meteor. We didnt even scratch their defenses. Then he tried to raid them on foot, basically wasting a full turn.

Middle Eastern Rocker and I scolded him, then he said Rock Throw was law amd got salty when we decided to stop raiding despite rock throwing and said he was gonna kill himself off.


I didnt allow him to kill himself cuz i didnt wanna waste a valuable turn on catapaulting barbatroopers. Orcs died from throwing each other. Catapaulting barbs was a much worse idea.

In the end he contained his murderboner thru whatever meditation he went thru.
>>
>>640022
I remember that now. He kept on trying to push stupid ideas which got a lot of Barbarians killed. I honestly have no idea why he hates the Elves so much in particular. Either took his character way too far or is just incredibly ignorant/autistic.

PS I'm hemp chewing elf/elf without hemp
>>
>>639881
The reason I hate rock is because of all the shit he talks,how broken the barbs were in the beginning,all the dice God fuckery, and the mass amounts of hypocrisy. It just fueled my salt tanks way too much

I don't even count canon as a barb anymore, he ascended into a completely different being

I forgot about the whole same fag situation,must be one of the factors as to why Prince gob died,excluding canon fuckery
>>
>>640074
If it makes you feel any better he lives in the hell hole that is Siberia and you can make gulag jokes at him which annoy him.
>>
>>640052
There's also the fact that whenever someone else called the barbs out on there shit(murderhoboing everything) he would say that they did nothing wrong and they started it
Even though you guys invaded the elves with the intent to rape there women
Even though you guys attacked the dragon who was drawing the map for no reason
The orcs were understandable but when they tried to patch things up you just tried to kill them
Some of you were probably embracing your role of current antagonist but rock was being fucking unbearable
>>
>>639054
>For the bards it was rock
wut?
>>
>>640125
>Some of you were probably embracing your role of current antagonist but rock was being fucking unbearable
I sense salt flowing
>>
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>>640145
>>
>>640136
>You talking shit at every chance
>You making up excuses saying that you did nothing
>You calling prejudice on the op even though your easily the most favored by your God and get the most bonuses
>Constantly bragging about rock throwing
I hope you were baiting
If you were good job
I'm mad
>>
>>640156
I'm from siberia anyway
honestly tho, calm yo tits. it was fun civ game precisely thanks to barbs
>>
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>>640165
Pic related

But seriously I'm just as mad. The only reason for any of that shit really was to make a cool story. Fucking op and his antics, goddamnit.
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>640165
>talking shit
I hope you don't mean "chicken brains, wusses, etc" being talking shit. That's was just banter
>didn't do nuffin'
ambitions, son. learn references
>favored by God
and half game in our favor bonus was taken away cause of emoticon. yay. Then orcs become way more powerful than we are. Maybe you should be more creative instead of endless turtling?
>still jelly about rock throwing culture
literally uncultural savage, have a rock
>>
>>640166
>humies having a blast
>literally everyone else is complaining

I don't have an image for how retarded you are right now.

Try baiting harder. Being too stupid gives you away
>>
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>>640193
I'm Dark Hero you need, but not deserve
>>
>>640183
I'm not even apart of any race,I'm a lurker
It just that for whatever reason you pissed me off
I know about the didn't do nuffin meme
I realize that most of the shit you said were jokes
It's just that you were really,really obnoxious about it
Also let go of Brock,it's over. He doesn't need you anymore. He's a strong independent immortal
>>
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>>640239
>It just that for whatever reason you pissed me off
sucks to be you then, cause I'm not going anywhere
>Also let go of Brock,it's over. He doesn't need you anymore. He's a strong independent immortal
he is just misunderstood
>>
>>640252
I know he's just a growing deity but kidnapping his brothers daughter after killing him and either killing her or preparing to rape her is not the way to go about it
He needs to go see a god therapist or he needs God jesus
>>
>>640275
>I know Rock's just a growing man but kidnapping his brothers daughter after killing him and either killing her or preparing to rape her is not the way to go about it
>Rock needs to go see a god therapist or he needs God jesus
FTFY
>>
>>639054
>>640074
>Canon literally tried to commit suicide and make the total human population into skeletons and make us lose. He was salt hungry before this quest started
>I don't even count canon as a barb anymore, he ascended into a completely different being
you know what, in the past I usually lurk and only rarely post every now and then to try to mix the adventure up and send it off the rails or change shit up at the minimum, only reason I have posted as much as I did in Civ thing was because it was not your typical adventure and I posted heaps in this one early because it was perfect shitposting/salt potential due to how invested people still were from civ thing.

Though too be honest to give you an Idea of what I am usually like, when I play DnD with my brother/friends I ALWAYS am the DM because they don't let me just be a player because when I was I was always fucking with the DM's plans and really pushing their skills to its limit.
For example I came up with a perfect and plausible plan tame DnD dragons by beating the living fuck out of their heads and using a healing spell on them repeatedly till we had a brain damaged dragon that could be tamed, then forcing it to breed with a dog so we had a bunch of tamed dog/dragon hybrids that we could theoretically ride into battle against the generic ancient evil we were fighting.
but I didn't get to finish that plan because the friend who was DMing at the time just went "fuck it" and stopped wanting to DM with me because I would pull that type of shit all the time and just create more work for whoever was the DM at that time
>>
>>640165
To defend the Barbs, we offended our god the least and asked for ways to please him instead of asking for shit every turn (elves), jewing him (draggos) or ignore them entirely (gobbos)

So of course we got a shit ton of benefits. He liked us and gave us cool shit at a discount and never argued prices. Seriously. We lost Brocks favor cuz of Dice God and could only get it back for 600 skulls. We never crybabied or fought about it. We just patched our own wounds and found other ways to beef up.

We legit WORKED on being stronger after being nerfed.


Also, we weren't evil. We just made Barb God happy, who just happened to be evil. We didnt know.
>>
>>640417
To be fair, a lot the shit we asked for was to defend ourselves from mainly from you guys and kind of the dragons.
>Earth pillars
>Spikey vines
>Durable wood
>>
>>640417
Which makes the salt and the cry babying worse. I don't think your understanding the exponential levels of salt content we're dealing with here.
>>
>>640456
Oh. I understand that. But you also bitched for rerolls. So did gobbos.

Humans never did that.

You asked for free magic each turn. We had to hunt for it.

>>640462
Course I do. Barbs handled it like adults, however. The rest of you acted like spoiled brats.

Aside from Orcs. Which is why we tried to murder them. They were a legit threat.
>>
>>640366
TLDR: I am a shit tier player and much better as the guy in charge.
I mostly lurk these threads to look for Ideas/characters/plots to take inspiration from for my games with my friends and have in fact dropped my name 'Canon' altogether at this point because there is no reason to continue using it so it is getting shelved until the next Civ thing
>>
>>640482
I wasn't a hippy elf. I was a Jew lizard. there was literally no alternative for magic gains other than praying for us. It was designed so that if we played a certain way we were guaranteed to get handicapped.

The only reason we ended up playing the little bitch game was because you fucking assholes forced us into turtleneck for protection when you wiped the nigger loving floor with us in a 4v1 fight.

The only reason op allowed this is because stronk man cewl an no puss puss as well as he just wants a good story to tell

Literally fuck everything I am fuming to the moon with rage.
>>
>>640619
The salt... The salt never changes.
>>
>>640619
Was the coalition battle before or after the barbarians started using meteor spam? That's one of the reasons they were seen in a negative light by others and why they posed a large threat by essentially spamming nukes.
>>
>>640677
before, that's the fun thing.
everyone hated us before we got meteors
>>
>>640677
We got meteor after the coalition. The coalition was why we got meteor
>>
>>640691
>>640694
You guys did already have a giant slingshot which for all intents and purposes the same thing which is just camping.
>>
>>640691
One of my better turtle schemes I do saym and you insisted my turtling would get us nowhere.
>>
>>640713
Slingshot actually only got 1 kill that while game. And it was the elvish night raid. We missed every other time and the elf forest defense was stronger. Meteor was far more powerful.
>>
>>640724
It was a prelude of things to come.
>>
>>640718
but we didn't need as much for meteor, I was opposed to grind 600+ skulls or whatever for better brock favor
>>640713
that thing was mostly useless tho
>>
>>640730
I think you are grasping straws

>>640731
Also true.
>>
>>640740
>A way to shoot giant rocks at other tribes from your base with a reduced chance of immediate retaliation

Both the giant slingshot and meteor were camping tools that the barbarians used to threaten other nations.
>>
>>640760
Meteor and the slingshot also used manpower and left them vulnerable to attacks which no one bothered to exploit
>>
>>640760
we never threaten anyone tho, I just never liked hippies.

I also love how everyone forgets that barbs were the race which got massive hit by winter regardless of preparations. Which happened after reroll cause op forgot right dice number
do you really expect that we could catch up with other races by mere turtling?
>>
>>640789
Dragons got hit 50% as well
>>
>>640792
forgot that, maybe that's why we never attacked them directly ever?
>>
>>640771
I know that a portion of the tribe had to focus on the meteor spell but how did that leave them open to attack? They were still in the village which had physical barriers around it and would've taken time to overcome. If you're talking about what I think you are, then a tribe would've needed to have soldiers laying in wait right outside the barbarian village as the meteors was being cast. Is there something I'm missing here?
>>
>>640800
I actually dont know. After thinking about i seem to be mistaken with my claim.
>>
Can we get the factory owner from the earlier adventure involved? The one who now has tons of gold after the earlier gob's show for the king (the one Rock Solid got killed).
>>
>>640872
Why would a factory owner be in a library?
I dunno guides on how to jew?
>>
What the ass is with all this arguing, I thought Civ Thing was over already
>>
>>640997
Just reminiscing about the past.
>>
>>641007
k

Anyway who still in here for thread to continue
>>
>>641015
Civ Thing discussion is probably gonna be a lingering thing in your threads for a bit.
Time to stop another manlet from dying.
>>
>>641015
I am ready to harvest salt
been up thinking of ways to do so without killing the main characters as well I have something special in mind if the situation goes the way I am hoping it does
>>
Rolled 2 (1d10)

>>641015
me and my rock
>>
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>>637796
And so you went to the job registry
>>
Rolled 29 (1d100)

>>641104
Wait a minute is that the wizard that gave us a house?
Does he just handle all the clerical shit in the kingdom?
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>641104
apply as hero with a very serious face and request bunch of sidekicks
>>
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>>641110
"Ah you have mistaken me with my brother"
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>641128
is beard and hat one of qualifications for a clerk?
anyway - >>641112
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>641128
So you basically got the same beard. Haircut. And glasses as your brother?

Are you obsessed bro?
>>
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>>641135
"No, those are the qualifications for a wizard. We just happen to also be clerks"
>>
Rolled 19 (1d100)

>>641143
can you make me a HERO, wizard??
if you can not, you are just clerk
>>
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>>641148
"The question you should be asking is can YOU make yourself a hero"
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>641156
I can! Prove it to him by showing your super hero costume.
>>
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>>641159
"hm"
>>
>arguing ends and suddenly everyone left the thread
really guys
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>641170
strike a super hero pose to convince him
>>
>>641171
Why do I bother anymoooooooooooore
>>
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>>641177
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>641184
time to go back on /v/
qst is too slow during day
>>641196
add explosions on background via spitting fire
>>
>>641201
More like go back to sleep, goodnight.
>>
>>641208
do you operate only during night? Don't forget we are in same timezone
>>
>>641210
It was figure of speech, It's noon here but I'm going to sleep anyway
>>
>>641212
absolute madman
>>
>>641212
good night, my my beloved qm
>>
>>641208
It's night here, fuck when we were on v this was never a problem
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>641196
Just convince him that we wanted to adventure around and beat JUSTICE into evildoers, without being paladins.
>>
>>641286
yeah but I think going back to /v/ would unfortunately kill the threads for good
Lately they must have gotten new mods or something because they have been extremely delete happy for even threads that are on topic
and considering that Notapaladin had trouble in the past with his threads on /v/ getting deleted he probably would not be able to even get them off the ground before they get delted
>>
You guys start the thread 2 hours after i go to bed. Ugh
>>
>>641338
Happens to me all the time now.
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>641196

>>641310
>>
>>639073
Because diversity is strength, goyim
>>
.
>>
who's still in here
>>
Well I'm actually awake now if we wanna kill a manlet.
>>
>>641938
Nobody knows what anybody wants
>>
>>641940
Isn't that the wonders of these threads.
Also I forgot the not in "not kill a manlet" there.
>>
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>>641945
Suuure you did
>>
>>641950
Well it's not like it matters with no one else here.
>>
Rolled 95 (1d100)

>>641950
Seduce the weaponsmith!
>>
>>641952
That's true
>>
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>>641954
What weaponsmith
>>
>>641957
the one from earlier
>>
Rolled 9 (1d100)

>>641957
BECOME A HEEEERO
nananaaa na na aa na naa na na na
>>
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>>641965
"Well, do you have the qualifications to be a hero?"
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>641957
>>641961
>>
Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>641967
No
>>
Rolled 61 (1d100)

>>641967
Show him your power of seduction
>>
Rolled 2 (1d100)

>>641967
ALL I NEED IS HOTBLOODNESS
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>641967
I need a weapon
>>
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>>641972
Yeah that aint working
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>641980
pose for him
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>641980
ONLY BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT YET CHANNELING THE FULL POWER OF IMP SEDUCTION
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>641980
Show him your dexterity by stealing his glasses
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>641980
Cry ourselves that we've failed and fall into depression
>>
>>641984
...again, I mean. a better pose.
>>
>>641984
>>641993
a sexy pose
>>
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>>641984
Still not working
>>
Rolled 99 (1d100)

>>642008
manifest powers through sheer force of will
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>642008
>>641988
>>
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>>642012
Willing powers into existence, doesn't seem to be working so far
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>642020
TRY HARDER
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>642020
The wizard is aroused by this
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>642020
Ask him if you've already proven yourself
>>
>>642024
The dice god clearly wants us to manifest powers, OP. Pls.
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>642020
just become unofficial hero
>>
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>>642024
Almost there
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>642035
The mental strain kills you
DEAD END
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>642035
*FART*
>>
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>>642042
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>642045
Awaken fart-based superpowers
>>
Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>642045
I doubt they'll allow you in this place anymore
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>642045
Something happens
>>
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>>642052
"Congratulations, based on your performance, you are now a sewer cleaner, enjoy your new job"

You are then transferred into the sewers
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>642060
the radioactive sewage transforms you in ways you can scarcely comprehend
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>642060
Joke's on them. You love sewer levels.
>>
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>>642063
Why are they always so spacious anyway
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>642067
find a poncho for disguise like in Metal Gear Rising
>>
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>>642069
Now where would you find such a thing down here? Perhaps inside this dark and forboding section
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>642074
Nope, it's at the bottom of the water.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>642074
definitely inside there. you can see clothing racks gleaming faintly in the distance
>>
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>>642075
Why the shit would it be down there?
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>642081
SWIM IMPO SWIM
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>642081
it's a... magic aqua poncho? and also, you're a really good swimmer.
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>642081
Check out the totally not dangerous dark passageway
>>
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>>642084
Oh shit turns out you're not. YOu're being carried away by the sewage. And you got some shit in your mouth
>>
Rolled 72 (1d100)

>>642092
RIDE THE TIDE
>>
Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>642092
you're an imp, what do you care about some sewage?
just grab the magic poncho you are 100% sure definitely exists and get out
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>642092
You were starting to get hungry anyway, eat all the shit you can find to harness its powers
>>
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>>642096
What part of "being carried away by the sewage" do you not understand you retard
>>
Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>642099
FLY IMPO FLY
>>
Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>642099
Drown in shit
>>
Rolled 68 (1d100)

>>642099
RIDE THE TIDE
>>
Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>642099
craft a crude but effective raft from surrounding debris
>>
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>>642106
>>
Rolled 12 (1d100)

>>642112
Reach the end of the tunnel
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>642112
Try and fly out
>>
Rolled 10 (1d100)

>>642112
Get saved by a escaped weeaboo orc that lives in the sewer and plays with shit trading cards
>>
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>>642124
You escaped the shitstream
>>
Rolled 8 (1d100)

>>642135
Meet a weeaboo orc that lives in the sewer and plays with awesome trading cards
>>
Rolled 51 (1d100)

>>642135
Found a slightly less shitty part of the sewer to wash that off
>>
Rolled 65 (1d100)

>>642135

We maybe found four teenage mutant turtles with pirate outfits.
>>
Rolled 83 (1d100)

>>642135
>>643138
>>
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>>642139
Yes, maybe you there's a clean waterway, a reservoir or maybe a slightly less muddy puddle that you can use
>>
Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>642150
He looks like shit. Let's just spit a fireball into the gas filled sewer and fuck shit up.
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>642150
Find orc playing trading card games
>>
Rolled 21 (1d100)

>>642150
Nah, the sewer was fine. Go back
>>
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>>642152
Yes, you may have enough left to spit one tiny fireball out and blow up the gas filled tunnels. But this could be suicidal becaus eyou're currently inside those tunnels. Are you sure?
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>642172
Yeah, just hide in the shit water
>>
Rolled 58 (1d100)

>>642172
Do it.

It'll fuck up the kingdom and give everyone the chance to escape
>>
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>>642179
But the water will put out da fire inside you
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>642188
Blow up the tunnels.

It needs to be done.
>>
Rolled 57 (1d100)

>>642188
Shit nigger, just build a shelter made out of the hardest shit you can find
>>
Rolled 78 (1d100)

>>642188
Find an orc playing trading card games
>>
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>>642195
Because clearly shit is an excellent protection against an explosion
>>
Rolled 17 (1d100)

>>642204
>>642200
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

>>642204
Sigh and accidentally release some fire.
Blowing up the tunnels.
>>
Rolled 18 (1d100)

>>642204
Find magic shit with +defense against explosions
>>
Rolled 14 (1d100)

>>642204

Build a secret base in the sewer.
>>
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>>642205
Why the shit would that be down here, all orcs are imprisoned inside the arena
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>642221
Not this one, this one escaped into the sewers to play card games
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>642221
Study shit. Maybe we can harness its power.
>>
Rolled 63 (1d100)

>>642221

Look around to make sure if orcs existed in the sewer with waifi t-shirt.
>>
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>>642226
That seems higly retarded and unlikely

In other news, constant exposure to filth can't be healthy, especially with your manlet constitution
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>642237
>>642231
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>642237
Embrace the shit. It is part of you now
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>642237
Train your body under the shit waterfall
>>
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>>642239
Looked around. Nothing but shit
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>642247
Experience epiphany
This world is full of nothing but shit
You are shit
We are shit
Everything... shit
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>642247

Question Imp... when will you start cleaning yourself up?
>>
Rolled 85 (1d100)

>>642247
Look around for better shit
>>
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>>642252
It's shit all the way down
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>642257
Add that shit to your inventory
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>642257
Escape sewer. This is pointless
>>
Rolled 71 (1d100)

>>642257
Spread shit religion to the overworlders
>>
Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>642257
Everyone dies and we move on to civ thing 2
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>642257

Try to create new magic... Shiomancy!
>>
Naaaaaame
>>642263
We aint gonna get a Civ Thing 2 with that attitude.

Impo is important stuff!
>>
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>>642263
If we're gonna move on to anything, it aint Civ Thing 2, running those are tiringggg

This have been a public service announcement
>>
>>642264

It suppose to be Shitomancy...
>>
>>642266
The salt in those threads must be too intensive.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>642266
>>642261
>>
>>642272
More like keeping track of the numbers makes my head hurt and sleepy
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>642266
Search for sewer gold. You remember the ancient myths of the golden shit
>>
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>>642273
Flying up to the nearest opening
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>642279
But suddenly you remember how nice sewers are and you have to go deeper down
>>
Rolled 94 (1d100)

>>642279
You are now a shit demon

Time to terrorise the surface in the bame of Satan

>captcha: nazareth
Its a sign
>>
Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>642279
Become poop based super villain
>>
Rolled 39 (1d100)

>>642279
Emerge from your shitty prison.
>>
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>>642283
You declared youself a shit demon in the Black, Asian and Minority Ethic of Satan
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>642291
Unleash your newfound demonic shit powers and fling shit everywhere to terrorise the people and feed off their terror to gain evil powers
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>642291
Drag that gobbo into the shit sewers
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>642291
Cry and take a bath
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>642291
Show the citizens the gifts of the sewers
>>
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>>642296
And so you wnet home, in tears, and took a bath
>>
Rolled 4 (1d100)

Shit demons vs salt demons: the imp boogaloo

Coming soon™

>>642303
Bath in shit
>>
Rolled 43 (1d100)

>>642303
Its okay. We got that piece of golden shit back in the sewers.
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>642303
Cover yourself in a full body suit so you won't have to become a shit demon again.
>>
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>>642306
What piece of golden shit
>>
Rolled 31 (1d100)

>>642310
Its imaginary don't squash his dreams
>>
Rolled 74 (1d100)

>>642310

Put back on your hero suit and find manling rider.
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>642310
The one in your pocket. Come on, i know you picked it up. It was right there.
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>642310

Get out of the tub, get dressed, and go be productive...
>>
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>>642316
THere was nothing there. You didn't pick up anything because there was nothing to pick up.
>>
Rolled 84 (1d100)

>>642320
Don't worry, you can show us. We won't steal it.
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>642320

Goblin: Get out of tub...
>>
Rolled 73 (1d100)

>>642320
Then go back down and get it. I can't believe you imps sometimes.
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>642320

Check in the tub.
>>
Rolled 26 (1d100)

>>642320
Chant out loud "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn"
>>
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>>642325
There is no Us here. YOU are the Imp.
>>
Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>642335
Are you sure? Look around for us.
>>
Rolled 52 (1d100)

>>642334
>>642335
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>642335

>There is no Us here. YOU are the Imp.

Are you certain about that?

Imp: Become paranoid...
>>
Rolled 1 (1d100)

>>642335
See your best friend Imp Inventor stroll up.
>>
>>642338
Why are you so obsessed with finding Dragon Messiah's shit?
>>
>>642335
>>642341
>>
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>>642338
Are you like, retarded or something
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>642349
Severely, yes. You got a problem with that?
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>642349
>>642341
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>642349
Whats wrong? Just go back to the sewers.
>>
Rolled 35 (1d100)

>>642349

>Are you like, retarded or something

"Are you retarded?"

Imp: Question sanity...
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>642349

Yep.

By the way... didn't we forgot the important goal like finding manling rider aka former gobbo king?
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>642349
SANITY CHECK
>>
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>>642357
Why?
>>
Oh my. NaP is gonna start railroading unless you make progress. Better fix yo shit
>>
Rolled 75 (1d100)

>>642360
>>642366
Were we not on a quest to find the golden poop?
>>
Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>642366
ignore voices in your head and act on free will, young impo
>>
Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>642366
You just feel like it.
>>
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>>642370
No, why would finding poop be the quest. Finding the other manlet heir is the quest.
>>
Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>642366
Hey, look! Plot device that isnt shit related!

Also this post cannoy be skipped or else risk OPs sanity.
>>
Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>642379
>>642380
Also, wear costume and fly away.

Downtown or some shit.
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>642379
Summon cthulu because why the fuck not
>>
Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>642379
Whatever, go out and explore city.
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>642379
then go find him
>>
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>>642384
Flying downtown, perhaps there are crimes to be stopped
>>
Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>642395
you spot some DANGEROUS CRIMINALS
>>
Rolled 86 (1d100)

>>642395
Track down salt cultists trying to salt restaurant food
>>
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>>642401
Now what the ass are those

"GIMME ALL YOU MONEY"

"No please, all I have is this bag of salt"
>>
Rolled 13 (1d100)

>>642403
seduce the cultists out of the cult
>>
Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>642403

IMP KIIIIIIIIIICK!!!!!!!
>>
Rolled 24 (1d100)

>>642403
Watch from the distance like a dark knight.
>>
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>>642412
Roll 2d100 for, first is for pick, second is for result
1-59: no
60-99: okay
100: yes
>>
Rolled 70, 96 = 166 (2d100)

>>642422
nat 100 incoming
>>
Rolled 46, 89 = 135 (2d100)

>>642422
>>
>>642428
Eeeeyyyy
>>
Rolled 92, 27 = 119 (2d100)

>>642422

SEIYAAAA!!
>>
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>>642428
"OW! The fuck?!"
>>
Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>642440
I'm a hero as a hobby
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>642440
Finish him with Impo Justice Flame!
>>
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>>642446
"The hell is that supposed to mean you little fuck?!"

Oh shit he's coming straight at you with a knife
>>
Rolled 30 (1d100)

>>642451
Fly higher and skull bash his shit! VICTORY SMAAAASH
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>642451
perform a dazzling evasive maneuver
>>
Rolled 100 (1d100)

>>642451
punch him to dead
>>
>>642459
Welp
>>
>>642459
>>642460
Dice God is on vacation it seems
>>
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Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>642459
Attempting to evade knife, dazzingly

Roll 2d100, second number just has to be higher than what I rolled, should be easy, I rarely get high rolls anymore
>>
>>642459
>>642460
Well this is new.
>>
Rolled 3, 142 = 145 (2d200)

>>642468
>>
Rolled 77, 25 = 102 (2d100)

>>642468
muh 100 tho
>>
Rolled 3, 72 = 75 (2d100)

>>642468
CQC
>>
Rolled 67, 66 = 133 (2d100)

>>642468
EVADE AND DAZZLE
>>
Rolled 84, 38 = 122 (2d100)

>>642468
>>
Rolled 65, 42 = 107 (2d100)

>>642468
Shadow Evasion!
>>
Rolled 25, 48 = 73 (2d100)

>>642468
Woops

Barb Senpai was at it again
>>
Wow we suck
>>
>>642484
Yes, yes we do. Hopefully its not a 1 hit KO...
>>
how the fuck
>>
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>>642478
YOu tried to dodged! But didn;t get out of the way completely in time and got your arm cut for your troubles
>>
Rolled 79 (1d100)

>>642495
he's distracted! punch him ded with your other arm!
>>
Rolled 98 (1d100)

>>642495
BERSERKER MODE ACTIVATE
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>642495
Heroes never surrender!

VICTORY FLAME BREATH!!!
>>
Rolled 6 (1d100)

>>642495
Cry
>>
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>>642499
"OOooooh, the little midget's getting angry. I'm sooooo scared"
>>
Rolled 77 (1d100)

>>642506
*fart*
>>
Rolled 91 (1d100)

>>642506
Roll for rage strength
>>
Rolled 96 (1d100)

>>642506
the insult was too much. kill him with one punch
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>642506
Swing arms like a windmill
>>
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Rolled 97 (1d100)

>>642509
Surely that smidge of Dragon Blood inside you would give you a sudden burst of strength in your moment of need

Like before, roll 2d100 and be higher than my shitty number
>>
Rolled 75, 80 = 155 (2d100)

>>642520
Shieeeeeeeeeeeeet
>>
Rolled 36, 19 = 55 (2d100)

>>642520
Its probably time to give up now
>>
Rolled 28, 10 = 38 (2d100)

>>642520
god. dammit.
>>
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>>642520
Dice God is clearly off his rocker
>>
Rolled 49, 82 = 131 (2d100)

>>642520
>>
Rolled 48, 22 = 70 (2d100)

>>642520
Easy peasy
>>
Rolled 9, 90 = 99 (2d100)

>>642520
>>
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>>642521
*poff*

"Nice try, stupid. NOW DIE"

Oh shit it's another stab, what do you do?
>>
Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>642536
okay fine time to fly away. they're just salt cultists anyway
>>
Rolled 67 (1d100)

>>642536
Disarm him.
From the shoulder
>>
Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>642536
Judo evasion in which I grab and twist his knifing arm and use the force of his own thrust to make him stab deeply into his own chest.
>>
Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>642536

Jump through between his legs!
>>
Rolled 64 (1d100)

>>642536
Pray to Kobbo Goddess for strength, a hero, or better armor
>>
Rolled 40 (1d100)

>>642536
Roll over and cry like a bitch
>>
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Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>642541
Like before, roll 2d100

Dice God plz
>>
Rolled 80, 57 = 137 (2d100)

>>642550
Man you gotta stop rolling so high.
>>
Rolled 27, 78 = 105 (2d100)

>>642550
>>
Rolled 20, 80 = 100 (2d100)

>>642550
do it.
>>
Rolled 45 (1d100)

>>642550
Its pointless
>>
Rolled 3, 52 = 55 (2d100)

>>642550
Hope we get his legs too
>>
>>642550
Nat 100 checking in.
>>
Rolled 22, 35 = 57 (2d100)

>>642550
dont worry, nat double 100 incoming
>>
Rolled 58, 50 = 108 (2d100)

>>642550
>>
Rolled 50, 5 = 55 (2d100)

>>642550

Good bye arm!!!!
>>
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>>642553
And so you got stabbed in the face and died.

Coincedentally, this was also how your father, King Imp The First was killed. The only difference was his death is a political assassination while yours was some senseless back alley mugging.

Well that's another manlet heir down the drain.

The End
>>
>>642570
Well this is hallow...
>>
>>642570
sad.
>>
Rolled 70 (1d100)

>>642570
Skin falls off. We see that a tiny mini manlet was piloting the body the whole time!
>>
Rolled 93 (1d100)

>>642570
manlets are destined to achieve nothing
next adventure : kob god in hiding ?
>>
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>>642570
So now, nest guy, Smiling Kid, Manlet Rider, Disgruntled Barbarian or Skelebro. Surely choices nobody cares about anymmore.
>>
>>642570
Well shit
>>
>>642570
Deserved it
>>
>>642580
Smiling kid
The rate we're going, we're gonna kill whoever we pick
And I never particularly cared for the elves
>>
>>642580
>El Skelebool
>>
Rolled 47 (1d100)

>>642580
I'd like to kill the barb. So him.
>>
>>642583
If we try to kill everything we look at, we will die


Or seduce
>>
Rolled 25 (1d100)

>>642583
>>642580
>>
Rolled 27 (1d100)

>>642580
smiling kid
>>
>>642584
He's off in the wilds now, serenating the peoples with mariachi music
>>
Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>642580
Skelebro
>>
>>642580
Fleshy bone wearing a bone on his head
>>
>>642593
Thanks for the comfort
>>
>Impo dies because of shit rolls
Will manlets ever achieve anything in this quest?
>>
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Rolled 2 (1d3)

Since nobody said anything about the manlet, it comes down to these 3 choices, I'mma roll a dice
1 - kid
2 - barb
3 - skele
>>
>>642608
Welp time to convert more heretics to the One True Faith
>>
>>642589
Are you implying I shouldn't attempt to seduce everyone and everything I come across?
*bats eyes flirtatiously*
>>
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>>642608
And so next guy will be Barbarian in the arena. Goodnight
Updates are here: https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>
>>642613
Instead of seducing everything, let's try licking everything
>>
>>642613
Your rampant seduction cost us our hair asshole.
>>
>>642617
Sounds good for a Barb. Rock licking. Sounds like Salt Cult behavior
>>
>>642620
We can start licking people's salted tears then
>>
>>642619
Worth it. Now we're closer to Saitama's image
>>642617
What's the difference?
>>
Holy shut manlets are weak. How the fuck did anyone even think that a manlet of all species would be able to stand up the king. Even a Elf could've hulled that thug easy.
>>
>>642729
>Holy shit manlets are weak. How the fuck did anyone even think that a manlet of all species would be able to stand up the king. Even a Elf could've killed that thug easy.

Autocorrect problems.
>>
>>642729
It was dice god fuckery
Speaking of which wouldn't that bitch be the first on Brock's kill list?
>>
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>>642617
Salt licks
>>
>>642742
I think that dice God is too powerful for Brock.
Deities power level from most to least:
>1. OP
>2. God Almighty
>3. Dice God
>4. Brock
>5-9. Various Tribal gods to varying degrees
>10. The King
>11. Goblin God
>12. Dragon messiah
>13. The smiling son
>999999991. Salt whatever
>>
>>642842
I'm also not sure why almighty hasn't slapped Brock's wrist yet

Unless....Brock has become the almighty
>>
>>642892
I just think he's on a break or something. Either that or he just doesn't care enough like how the Kingdom didn't care when we were killing each other as civs. At least until the Orcs opened up that mystery box.
>>
>>642892
It's because it's for the last episode

Also because the time of each episode jumps around

Or he doesn't care
>>
>>642920
Course he cares. We wouldnt exist no less even be a thought if he didnt.

You, OP, however....
>>
>>643823
What, c'maaan, I care, I super care, fo realzies
>>
>wake up
>imp dies
welp, what a wuss
>>
>>643843
Manlets are just that weak. If it was any other race then the manlet would've survived.
>>
>>643846
the problem that you gone to look for trouble as default manlet
should've trained first
>>
>>643867
Personally I just wanted to set fire in the gas filled sewer and just fuck shit up. Next time we should find a match or something and just throw it into the sewer to screw with the kingdom.
>>
>>643843
Cyborg Hero Duo Manlet Rider and Manlet Rider 2 when?
>>
>>644094
Just fuse them all together at this point.

>>643835
If you care sooooooo much.... you should let us BE Dice God, fighting against Brock for survival. Game ends when he dies or when the paladins arrive to show up.
He must suffer
>>
I like to feel as if I somehow caused this death.
Sure I wasn't here when he died but I made prince imp pursue the superhero path and search for manlet rider in hopes that someone would decide to fight something and get him killed since manlets are fragile fucks with no combat capabilities whatsoever
>>
>>645206
Meh. OP gave us a ton of chances for this to work. It was our own shit rolls and OPs fucked rolls that won this.
>>
>>645206
I don't even know why you keep on pushing for the quest to die
Do you just hate op for not letting you do what you want
Or is it something else
Also Manlets seem to be cursed by fate to be whipping boys
The dice God always fucks them in combat
They get one shot by all the other races

We could have explored this with imp but dice God fucked him over
>>
>>645776
I think he's got autism.
>>
>>645776
I just have more fun by ruining other peoples fun than I do when not ruining shit for people.
Its because I was born with a tiny dick
>>
>>645799
Okay cool your not the real canon
That is the curse of namefags that leave
There legacy always lives on
>>
>>645802
It is the real Canon
>>
>>645804
Let me dream
Also I'm suprised that he would still use his name,less people would call canon fuckery and some might actually agree with him
>>
>>645802
I am the real one.
Whenever I namefag I always make it a thing to try to permanently ruin that name once I am done with it.
Only this time that name was also shared by a main character of a previous adventure.
>>
>>644094
hopefully soon
>>
>>645881
I just wanna combine the 3 manlets into a manletzord
>>
>>645896
And they'd still come up short
>>
>>645896
combining is for wusses
>>
>>645898
Hey! I dont talk down your Kamen Rider. Gimme my Super Sentai
>>
>>645917
as long you combine them via power of friendship and via giant robots I don't mind.
Just don't do weird fusion stuff
>>
>>645919

Super Friendship Robots?

I smell a big hit
>>
Anyone got an ETA on next thread?
>>
>>647467
Like 12 hours, trust me, I have a reliable source
>>
>>647495
How do you know this? Answer me.
>>
>>647509
thats when his salt shipment arrives

~also when you stop being a faaaaaaag~


Maybe i spoilered the wrong text
>>
>>647509
I have people, trustworthy people
>>
>>647617
>Imp Prince survived and now leads the manlet mafia
>>
For anybody still in here for some reason, NEW THREAD
>>652414
>>652414



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