>>712741
Awwww yeah its time for Audit!

Sad to see that Mad Curi didn't make the cut but everyone looks so sweet!

>>712741
[Enhance Kno - Oh, hey, long time, no see, Mary! Sorry about that, had a client on the other line.

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>>712741
Here's our assets at the moment.
=====

G:1005
Runes: 9
Mana: 41
Staff: 5
Army: 14

Known Runes:
Water
Fancy
Stone
Comfy
Explode
Sword
Metal
Wood
Container
Fist
Cloth
Magic
String
Fire
Mind
Oil
Music
Mithril
Psionic
Levitation
Wind

===Items===
Chests: G10
Food: Good- G10, Excellent- G20

===Basic Units===
Builder: Can build rooms. Can also construct hallways for the dungeon and fill any space with basic traps. (Purchased)
Cook: Cooks food. Boosts morale for other units. (Purchased)
Dungeoneer: Builds magical traps and manages the Army. Can also infuse demons with more runes. (Purchased)

===Advance Units===
Archiver: Upgrade to Librarian. Can transmute runes. G-600 (Purchased)
Carpenter has been unlocked. This will halve the price for all rooms. Costs G300 (Purchased)
Chef has been unlocked. Cooks food better. G100. (Purchased)

Demonologist II: Can fuse two runes together to create an Opposite Rune. G-3000. Minus 50 for each rune known.

===Basic Rooms===
Kitchen: G-200 BOUGHT
Barracks: G200 BOUGHT
Empty Room: G50
Treasure Room: G100

===Advance Rooms===
Mini-Boss Room: G100
Final Boss Room: G1000
False Final Boss Room: G500 (Must contain a trap of some kind)
Trapped Room: G75 (Requires Builder)
Magical Trap: G100 (Requires Dungeoneer)
False Wall: G25 (Requires Dungeoneer)

Note: Rooms are furnished with the bare minimum. They can be enhanced with runes.

=====

Our dungeon has evolved quite a bit since it's initial inception.

2/3

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>>712771
However, the state of the dungeon and it's assets aren't my current problem.

No, what's really bothering me is this girl, Alex.

"I'm sorry if I've come at a bad time Ms. King of Demons but we really do need to talk about this loan."

"I'm not the king of demons. I'm not even a demon, let alone the ruler of them."

"You're in charge of the dungeon, right?"

"Yes, but-"

"And it has demons. That sounds pretty ruler-like."

"No, I was forced into this by-"

"I know our repayment plans can be a bit restrictive at times but I'm here to find a solution that works for both of us."

>>712811
Oh right. I forgot about her.

>>712811
Welp. Time to try and explain our situation. Explain that we were/are employees of the bank and that we were forced into this. The man they are looking for is who knows where right now. It isn't exactly our debt.

Also, when she inevitably denies this. We should ask about the debt itself. Because we'll need to know how deep a hole we are in...

>>712811
Wow Deja-vu
Complete the circle Mary

>>712811
Put the debt onto her! Free yourself from this pain!

>>712811
let her finish talking. the explain an asshole GAVE you their debt and then ran away.

>>712811
What is our current payment plan? Plus when is our tax return, we should have gotten that by now.

>>712811
Okay lay down on me. How much is the damage. I forgot how much the old king demon owned.

>>712811
SO MUCH DEJA VU. MARY, START BITCHING ABOUT YOUR PREDICAMENT. VENT THAT STRESS!

>>712811
Can't we use mana to summon a lawyer

>>712811
Alex, is Mary still an employee of Darachma bank?

>>712811
Tell it straight. "I'm an Auditor." Then explain the real King of Demons forced you into the leadership position of the dungeon. You are trapped here.

If she insists on telling you the loan has transferred to you, ask her to get it in writing, from a lawyer.

>>712811
Yeah the previous guy cursed me to take his place, however I am immune to his debt as anyone with half a brain would . Additionally I called my boss (insert jackass name here) and he has obviously forgotten about me and replaced me already. I really should sue.

Wait just a second if we pay the debt as the Demon King. Does that mean the dungeon will be actually ours?

>>712811
Hey, Mary, she'd make a good princess character, you know...

Just something to consider.

>>712811
Invite her to a business dinner.

>>712878
Probably. And I can't say I am against that. But we're going to argue our case.

>>712811
Make her the ruler of the dungeon, like that one guy did to you!

Alternatively tell her to give your boss from your job a call, make him sort it out. Last resort you have all the litigation and lawsuits to file to stop them from collecting until the original guy comes back (Inhibiting your freedom, transferring ownership without consent, etc. He's basically attacked you by putting you in this position, they can't collect while the ownership rights of his/your dungeon are in legal limbo can they?)

Alternatively kidnap her, she's the same class as you, worst that happens is you keep stealing eachothers stuff until your both out of mana. Best result you get another friend/minion to help manage this place (the last option comes super recommended)

>>712811
Mary use mana to SUMMON LAWYER too help! If nothing else but to reiterate what was said in the last thread.

>>712811
Pretty lazy identity check there. I'd hope that Drachma Bank would have higher standards than that. Certainly Mary, you did a much better job when you confronted the previous King of Demons.

If she won't listen, then try to remember if there are any Fair Debt Collection laws or regulations that might protect you. No matter what, it's unreasonable for her to collect debt from someone without trying to confirm their identity.

>>712811
Complain that you're her coworker!

Then be sad when she informs you of your firing for violating the clause of your employment policy that stimulates you not hold other jobs.

Also, you're clearly in violation of the conflict of interest policy. Why didn't you disclose that you were the King of Demons the required 5 weeks in advance of the King of Demons signing on for the loan? Legal could have checked everything out and it would likely have been fine. Hiding the facts helps no one, and there's a 20% penalty fee....

>>712878
>>712888
>>712893
See you're going the wrong way.
Nobody OWNS the dungeon, and if anyone does, it's us. Why? Because it was GIFTED to us by the Demon King.

Thing is, the debt is still for HIM, it's not like you can give that kind of shit to people and just get away scot-free.

Otherwise, real-estate would be insane (you could liquidate your debt by just selling any kind of property and say "tag, you're it!".

>>712921
This anon has the right idea.

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If I had access to the spell that trapped me here in the first place I wouldn't even be in this situation right now, would I?

My actual spells are pretty limited.

"Look, Alex, here's the thing... I'm not supposed to be here. I'm an auditor, just like you. We work for the same company. I'm Mary. I'm sure our boss must have-"

"Aah... You're Mary?"

"You heard about me?"

"Yeah. Now, about the payment plans."

"No! No payment plans! This isn't my debt! I'm being trapped here against my will! I-"

"Sometimes people panic, and if I were in your situation I would too. Especially considering your debt is so high."

"... What was it again?"

"159,000 gold."

Oh
Right.

1/3

>>712935
Oh fuck me...that's high.

>>712935
Offer to pay interests only for next 3 millenias.

>>712935
Use a lawyer to fuck her up legally

>>712935
What's the daki to cold current exchange rate?

>>712935
Yeah, let's kidnap her.

Welcome to the downward spiral of debt, Alex. should have found a better job.

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>>712935
"It really is a high amount... Especially since you lost your other job at Drachma Bank... With the whole secondary employment clause in your contract..."

"WHAT!?"

"But I believe in you..."

2/3

>>712964
Welp he's dead.

>>712964
UNEMPLOYED
Harsh!

>>712929
Oh god... we're doomed, the only thing left is to offer your body as payment.

>>712935
Aren't WE technically still the auditor for this operation? (and likely senior auditor), can't we quickly make our own payment plan and approve it so she has to go through the paperwork to get OUR plan revoked so she can make her own? We can use that time to prepare lawyers and stuff to throw the debt into limbo and get the original guy marked.

Also WTF did he do to rack up that much debt? This place started with 4 pillars

>>712964
That fucker fired us?! We can still backdate the payment plan can't we?

Okay, we're mailing That Guy a ticket for an all-expenses-paid trip to the famous Slimecrown Citadel Spa.

And then we're throwing him in the basement.

>>712964
Oh it's on like donkey Kong now! After we set up the first floor and finalize it we need to send in monsters to that asshole of a boss office.

>>712964
Fuck that guy. So much...

>>712964
Someone's getting fed testicles first to the Secret Boss.

>>712935
>>712964
that TEARS IT! I've had it with that Business! I WANT TO BURN DOWN THAT BUSINESS AND MAKE THEM GO BANKRUPT!

>>712985
Remember the literal fuck-ton of succubi? Or I Can't Believe The Cute Girl Next Door Is Azathoth, King of The Cosmos?

Fiscal responsibility and him weren't exactly on good terms.

>>712964
Fuck this go mental

Entrench this place so we can kill any debt collectors and also be self sufficient

>>712985
The guy bought a shitload of runes and used a lot of them to make a succubus harem and the throne room and the basement monster.

>>712985
Spent all his money making LUCY a BEST

>>712985
4 pillars, succubus hookers, and Jeffrey in the Basement.

>>712964
Well, I guess it's here, guys. The time when Mary finally gives up being pure and decides to go Full Demon.

>>712964
Actually we weren't notified our contract had been terminated were we? As long as we dodge all their calls we can still claim that we haven't been fired yet. They should have our call to him on record where he said he'd help us and we explained our situation.

>>712985
>Aren't WE technically still the auditor for this operation?
Well apparently we got fired for having "two jobs".

>>712964
explain drachma bank did not send you a notice of dismissal, write up a payment plan, and approve it. you are now required to pay 1 gold a month with 0 APR.

>>713044
We were contacted via phone, but we rune'd the phone in rage. And since they tried calling, they're gonna be assholes and assume we received the message anyways so they can continue racking up the debt like the Jew class they are.

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>>712964
WHAT THE FUCK!?
I'VE BEEN A LOYAL EMPLOYEE THERE FOR -YEARS-!

HE CAN'T JUST FIRE ME!

THAT'S
THAT'S

EVIL!

"Are you okay Ms. King of Demons?"

AND THIS BITCH.

"SUMMON LAWYER!"

>Mary casts her most powerful spell and summons a lawyer on the field.

"Oh wow," Alex says, "That's a powerful lawyer... But, I'm an Auditor too... Summon Lawyer!"

>She summons her own lawyer. The pair lock eyes and begin arguing with one another.

"I see you think that perhaps this doesn't apply to you... But, all the Auditing Universe cares about is proper paperwork and filing... And according to the files this debt belongs to you... I don't care how but that's how it is... So, can we discuss payment plans?"

3/4

The pure and wholesome RAGE within grows.

new plan for audit: turn the whole world into a dungeon and let Mary's slime army lay waste to it. And also make her former boss into a a slime controlled puppet.

>>712964
We have meet the final boss

>>713058
Yeah the phone thing was my bad.

>>713059
OBJECTION!!!

>>713059
Heh those lawyers...

>>713059
>And according to the files this debt belongs to you...
Is the debt attributed to the "King of Demons" title or to the individual?
Actually, can we see those files?

>>713059
CRUSH THIS BITCH

>>712964
Throw your old boss under the bus.
"That's odd. I was ordered to do this as PART of my job at Drachma Bank.
All further contact will be through my lawyer.
So, for purposes of determining your personal liability for the coming wrongful termination lawsuit, could you please contact my lawyer and let him know how much are you currently being paid?"

>>713059
Is this the Dark Age of Auditing?

>>712935
That's definitely illegal. We were forced to stay in the dungeon without our consent by the previous owner. There was no mention of transferring the debt; he simply gave the dungeon to us and ran off. That means this place is legally ours, and the debt is still his.

>>712964
I'm pretty sure this is also illegal. As an employee, we are entitled to protection from magical curses, and he failed to provide assistance in a timely manner despite our specific request. That means he failed to abide by the contract, not us. We have a phone conversaion as evidence.

>>713059
Now that is just flat-out fraud. There's no law that says you can just declare someone else a debtor in your place.

>>713059
Can we discuss this in the spa?

>>713059
Force her to join us in some kind of legal loophole

>>713059
>And according to the files this debt belongs to you
No, it's got a different name on the files. This is Mary. Not the King of Demons. Being in charge of the dungeon does not change your name.

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>>712961
>kidnap

>>712893
>kidnap

....................

>Mary struggles with dark thoughts.

>>713059
OBJECTION!
>Mary already said that debt transference isn't a thing that the Demon King could have done. However, it is possible that the property we are presently bound to by his magic would go under something called "fraudulent conveyance".

In short, the Demon King gave us this property and then fled to avoid paying his taxes, putting his property out of the hands of his creditors. Depending on the legal statute of the realms, such an intentional way to defraud the system may be considered insufficient to protect the property from foreclosure, liquidation, or anything of that sort to help the initial investor recoup their losses.

Basically, the Demon King's debt isn't on us, but it may be on the dungeon. However, two problems arise from this. First is that in effect of his means of conveyance of the property, the demon king deprived us of our personal liberties and put us in a hostile situation with no means of escape, meaning that he can be sued in a court of law for reckless endangerment (a felonious infraction), deprivation of personal liberties (a felonious infraction), and personal damages.

In such cases, criminal procedure overtakes civil procedure (such as debt collection), putting a halt to all other liens against his property until the case has been resolved. Reparations can then be easily named in the millions of gold, and should he not arrive to defend himself in a court of law within a certain number of days once we've put up a trial for the appeal, we can easily have him forfeit his former, reclaimable properties for immediate, grievous damages before the banks can foreclose on anything. This would effectively discharge the debt while netting us the property.

The second is that the dungeon itself was a derelict structure beforehand possessed of a dangerous, extremely pernicious entity which would have made its original pricing negative. In short, the property without the added value that Mary has added, which she, by all rights could send back to start before leaving to return the property in initial condition, would not be worth reclaiming.

In short, the bank lost this one from the second the Demon King stuck us here. They can go chasing his bony ass across the abyss for whatever gold they can wring out of him. The dungeon is ours, the debt is his, and if they try to take our home, they'll have ashes instead.

Do. Not. Fuck. With. Mary.

>>713059
Agree to nothing
Have everything done by lawyer

>>713095
You're the demon queen now. Time to act like one.

>>713059
Counter her argument that criminal charges take precedence and the collection services are to desist until a verdict has been reached.

>>713095
They'll stop sending us aduitors if they keep losing them, and we just claim we never saw them. We couldn't [possibly pay our debt if they never informed us of it

>>713098
Hint we may wave this if we enter into negotiations, on site, with our former boss.

>>713095
Do it. You know you want to.

>>713095
Just kidnap her, Mary. You want her to stop bugging you about this loan that is not yours, and we want a new character to abuse.

>>713059
"That's quite literally impossible. I signed no contracts for this debt, and the lien is against another person.
That means your paperwork is NOT properly filed.

I will be suing over this, and the wrongful termination. I'm sure that Drachma bank is aware that the discovery alone in these cases is several million, long before we even get to the court case itself!"

>>713059
>So, can we discuss payment plans?"
Don't even consider it until after proof is provided showing proper paperwork is in order. Surely debt cannot be legally transferred without a contract or court order. The fact that she's calling Mary by the "Ms. King of Demons" title despite knowing her real name, just shows how hard she's trying to force this matter.

And don't promise to do it after said paperwork is shown, either. She'll try to make that binding.

>>713096
Go with this one.

>>713058
Wouldn't it be like serving a court attendance notice? Someone has to sign off that they gave you notice in order for it to be binding right? If they don't serve us sign of job termination, then considering their awareness of circumstances, even if we don't accrue hourly wages, they haven't fired us yet? (I'm probably being optimistic)

>>713084
>>713092
>>713096
We've also got these going for us... but lets send some slimes to stop her escape just in case (Alternatively seduce her! Or have someone else seduce her!)

Also, Mary's boss probably through her under the bus and just signed all the papers that would make the job easier for him. We need to spite sue him.

We need more lawyers !!!
Summon as many as possible
And dont even dare discuss "payment plans"
That can be taken as accepting the debt

>>713095
Which is it going to be?
>Law route, use our knowledge of the laws to bankrupt our former boss.
>Chaos route, start a real dark army and kidnap her.

Wait, wait. King of Demons? Aren't we clearly a QUEEN of Demons?

>>713095
Tempting as it is. Be good. Hold it in.

>>713096
>>713118
>>713120
THESE

Rip those caterpillar brows off her face and hold them hostage.

>>713095
Let's wait on that for now.

...for now.

What payment plans are she talking about? Maybe it won't be soul-crushingly horrible.

Wait hang on... can't we just sell the dungeon to the bank? It's definitely worth 159k by now, since it's bringing in like 1k a day or something ridiculous like that.

Selling the dungeon would free Mary since she can't be trapped if the dungeon doesn't exist, right? Of course she'd be unemployed after that, but then she could sue the bank for wrongful termination, probably.

>>713095
cast bankrupt on her while claiming her job counts as an item
if you think it hard enough it may work.

>>713096
Backing

>>713148
Better yet, use her as a material link so that she can cast it upon the bank itself. What could possibly go wrong?

>>713144
Fuck that the dungeons ours.

Declare her an adventurer

>>713144
NO

>>713148
Not enough mana, anon.

>>713129
>Neutral route, just make a lot of gold and instead of paying back the debt BUY the company, FIRE our old boss, and terminate our debt.

>>713148
>>713157
Can we Steal her job/the bank?

>>713159
Send her to the FUN room.

>>713144
NOPE

>>713144
TRAITOR!

Watch out: Drachma Bank might be recording this interaction, possibly even without the knowledge of either party.

Actually, when this is done, you might want to sweep for any nasty surprises your asshole boss might have left on you, any possessions you brought to the dungeon with you, and any dungeon areas the new auditor was in.

>>713144
Who let this guy into the crown?

>>713095
I'd like to say be sympathetic, since she's just an employee and she's currently in the same position you were in.

On the other hand, she's blatantly trying to defraud you, despite knowing you're not the actual King of Demons.

So, here's the plan. Try to get her to relax. You know how stressful the job can be, so discuss the issue over a nice dinner. Then ask to see the documents for the loan. And proof that she's an actual Drachma Bank employee.

>>713096
Do this with your lawyer as a stand.

>>713188
The benefit of the crown is to hear ALL possibilities and paths and make the best choice among them... what would happen if you runed the crown?

[SPOILER]DOIT!DOIT!DOIT![/SPOILER]

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>>713059
>>713095

GOD FUCKING DAMNIT! NO! NO! NO!

I am not getting cockblocked on a sound legal argument that I structured last thread. This universe cannot be that fucking retarded. Otherwise, every wizard would just accrue a mountain of debt on some poor schlubs name and run off. It DOESN'T work like that. It CANNOT work like that. So, tell that bitch to shove it because I won't accept in-universe selective retardation as a fucking excuse.

>>713095
>>713096
Yeah, not only do they not have a claim against us but we can take the dungeon from them long before they have the chance to foreclose on it.

Offer to buy they debt from Drachma Bank for 200 gold, it's probably more than they could get from the King of Demons. You might even be willing to drop the unlawful termination lawsuit if they get the curse removed in a timely manner like they're contractually obligated to do anyway.

>>713195
Apply Olivia to act as [s]literal[/s] social lubrication

Another Fun Possibility is that the King of Demons was in on it. Maybe this is a scam being run by your boss to force people into huge debt, by luring Auditors like yourself into dungeons so that they can be cursed like you were. Maybe your boss is the King of Demons, even.

>>713214
Wow. That'd be evil.

>>713095
Woah woah. Mary. Calm down. I want you to think about this calmly and ask yourself one question.

What would Dungeoneer do?

>>713203
Why wouldn't in universe retardation be an excuse, if everyone is stupid it doesn't matter how dumb the laws are.

If you we use our spell on the CEO/major shareholder of a company, what happens to the shares?

>>713203
It's probably wizards that write the laws. It's a conspiracy.

>>713096

This. Thanks for reposting anon.

>>713214
That sounds so stupid and convoluted that knowing Larro, would be exactly what had happened.

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...

"Let's discuss this in my chambers."

"Excellent." The girl visibly relaxes now that the conversation is going her way.

Alright, no kidnapping.
Yet

I don't know why I thought about doing that. I think the demonic air is getting to me. There's no reason we can't be civil here.

>Mary has Alex brought to a dining area and orders the Maid and Butler slimes to bring them some refreshments. Mary once again tries to explain her current situation.

>You know, how she's basically held here against her will by a curse and the one who originally had the debt has run away.
>Which, you remind her, is illegal.

"I agree with you on that. However," She pushes a piece of paper forward. "The debt is not attached to Atrociatus Maldorium, the previous King of Demons. No, it is in fact attached to the title of King of Demons. That title now belongs to you and with it the debts accrued by that title. Your dungeon is a business Ms. King of Demons and you are the one currently in charge of it... Just because the last boss left it in bad shape doesn't mean we can just forget the large amount of money he has borrowed from-"

"Okay, got it. Charging the one in charge of the dungeon, not me. Get it. But, here's the thing, and I -really- want you to keep this in mind, okay? So, just pay attention real quick... I AM NOT HERE WILLINGLY. I AM ESSENTIALLY KIDNAPPED. MY BOSS WAS SUPPOSED TO LET ME OUT! THE AMOUNT OF LEGAL FUCKUPERY GOING ON HERE WOULD GIVE ME ENOUGH LEEWAY TO SUE DRACHMA BANK INTO FUCKING OBLIVION."

1/2

>>713251
I knew some bullshit-ery would happen the moment Larro decided to uses selective retardation on lawyering.
>>713260
Forcing a class/job change on other people is illegal!

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>>713260
".......... Ma'am I'm going to have to ask you to keep your voice down. I don't appreciate being yelled out. Now if we can just go over the payment plans I would really appreciate that."

>>713285
Fuck it, sue them.

>>713285
This is just getting us to talk around in circles. Supposing we did comply with payment plans. What exactly would she propose?

>>713285

Welp, time to tie her up and beat her with a sock full of coins. Bureaucrats cannot be reasoned with.

>>713285
TOUGH! Deal with it! We should have called the cops about this.

>>713285
Alright, fuck her.

"Sure, we can do that. We'll have plenty of time since you are never leaving this place."

>>713285
GET IN THE SACK NOW

>>713285
Im sorry but do you even realise where you are miss, you are in a fucking "Evil lair" and you dont even seem to care we could oh i dont know

KIDNAP HER

>>713285
KIDNAP HER!

DENY ALL KNOWLEDGE OF HER EXISTENCE!

TELL ANY INVESTIGATORS OR COPS THEY ARE FREE TO CHECK THE FUCKING BASEMENT IF THEY WANT!

>>713285
Y'know what? Let's hear them. Just so we have something to laugh madly at. I think we could all use a good old fashion maniacal laugh, huh?

>>713285
LET THE KIDNAPPING BEGIN
RUTH GET IN HERE

>>713285
Sue them.

>>713296
Out of the question.

>>713285
...(Places crown on her head)

You are now temporarily in charge of the dungeon, Alex. Try not to fuck up our hard work.

>>713285
No. Get my old boss and your current one down here. Now. Otherwise I am calling the cops, AND suing Drachma bank for everything it's worth. This is me being civil, keep pushing, and I will show you what being unpleasant is.

>>713285
Resist the urge to do anything evil. Kidnapping is illegal, and they'll just send someone else in her place. We aren't a bad guy and we don't want to give them any legal leverage against us.

>>713285
I mean, to be fair you'd be acting the exact same way as her, Mary.

But kidnap her anyway. Dungeoneer wastes the most time, so she can be on prison guard duty.

>>713285
No. Tell her you're just going to sue the bank for breach of contract and wrongful termination. The legal fees associated with the court case will be our payment plan.

>>713285
So what's she's saying is it's perfectly legal for us to forcefully employ her underneath us is what I'm saying. We just have to keep her kidnapped long enough for them to fire her too? Makes sense. Wow, this Alex has some really evil ideas, you should take her advice and kidnap and forcefully employ her.

>>713285
FINE. Keep in mind, this is a Business, and the interests that you put upon this
RESIST THE URGE OF EVIL MARY. RESIST! YOU KNOW HOW DRACHMA BANK WORKS, YOU WERE THEIR FORMER EMPLOYEE!

>>713285
Make her Olivia's rare drop. I'm sure she'll be comfy staying in there for a while.

>>713285
Put her in charge of a dungeon! See how she likes it!

Or better yet, kidnap her.

>>713285
If you're trapped in the dungeon it's not like they can arrest you for not paying. Just tell her to leave.

>>713260
>>713285


First of all, you cannot, I repeat CANNOT separate a debt onto a title. Otherwise, people could accrue debt and just retire the mantle. It's even easier to defraud the system in that way. Hell, Mary, just call yourself something different and you are effectively no longer the same person. CASE IN POINT: THIS DOES NOT WORK FOR A LEGAL PRECEDENT!

So, no, stop. She is wrong if this society possesses even an iota of sanity. Also, counterpoint, even in the case she is right, we can easily have the company sued into the ground for millions due to effectively knowingly orchestrating slavery and kidnapping, as well as extortion at this point.

They've already done it. There is no going back. They have definitively broken the fucking law, and we can sue them into the fucking ground with the worst lawyer imaginable.

Now then, since they've gone this far, since they wouldn't play fucking reasonable, they are now going to GIVE us the fucking dungeon, or we will END them.

>>713338
You have such an elegant way of putting things.

>>713285
declare her the king of demons for 5 minutes. whoops she is no longer an auditor, whoops five minutes are up no she has no jobs.

>>713285
Engage demon mode Mary! Start an evil crusade against the bank.

>>713285
I guess we can hear her out, but we have a legal interest in abstaining from officially agreeing to any payment plan, as doing so would imply consent to this situation.

I'm curious, what would happen if the bank doesn't get its payments? Would the bank foreclose and claim the dungeon? Would doing so remove Mary of the title that's been forced upon her?

Depending on the answer, the bank would essentially be facilitating an abduction.

>>713357
I'm a fan of the "refuse to listen to any payment plans". If this legal system is as stupid as it seems, us hearing the payment plans probably qualifies as de-facto accepting the debt they refer to.

>>713338
I like that idea. I second it!

>>713357

They are in the process of facilitating slavery and extortion. They are, while knowing full well that Mary is a victim put in these circumstances by them with no means of leaving, telling her that she must work or face cruel and unusual punishment. They are and already have, broken the laws of any civil society.

>>713363
>us hearing the payment plans probably qualifies as de-facto accepting the debt they refer to.
Now that you've said it, that seems remarkably plausible.

>>713285
BEGIN LAWSUIT
SUMMON SLIME JUDGE

>>713285
She's just trying to get you to admit they have a claim against you, Mary. It's SOP for people with dead relatives. Whatever you do, don't say anything that could be construed as such an admission.

>>713320
>>713338
Declaring her our new employee and temporarily putting her in charge of the dungeon so she can't deny that fact so she'll get fired is a decent idea, too.

>>713285
Secretly finalize the dungeon layout. Let in the next wave of adventurers. Alex is now bound by the dungeon as a minion. She must survive the next raid. Since this automatically forces her job to switch to minion of the dungeon instead of Drachma employee.

>>713285
>713285
Enforce slime hugs every time she tries to say the word 'Payment Plan'

>>713285
Mary, kidnap her and make her pose for a Dakimakura!
You're evil now, you don't gotta put up with this shit.

>>713382
This also means DO NOT TALK ABOUT PAYMENT PLANS.

>>713285
>>713338

Ah right. We can also just hire her.

>>713320
Seconding

>>713372
Why do you think she keeps asking "can we talk about payment plans now?" instead of just talking about them? At least that's my thought.

>>713348
If the contract was written that way, then that further implies that this is a scam and the King of Demons was in on it.

While suing the bank we need to hire a private investigator to track down the former owner of the dungeon so we can prove he conspired with the bank.

>>713385
This is dirty, I like.

>>713385
>>713285

Also, eh, sure.

>>713385
Genius. Make it so.

>>713385
MAKE IT SO

>>713285
FOR THE LOVE OF SLIME DO NOT DISCUSS PAYMENT PLAN

>>713285
I don't know guys, I agree that this is really shitty in terms of how laws work but I'm not sure revolting against the premise is really gonna get us anywhere.

Mary, you've been auditing for years now. Are the laws actually this stupid?

Mary, you have to understand we're not doing this JUST to be evil. We really think this is bullshit, and we really like you, so we don't want you to get screwed over.

>>713432
Seconding this question.

>>713285
Bring in the massage slime

>>713432

The answer is that no, they are not, because that is fucking retarded. Second, at this point, all we have to do is tell her to go to the local authorities and report this kidnapping case. Again, we can throw this whole goddamn thing on its head the second we make this a criminal case (which the company Mary used to work for is now directly implicated in).

>>713432
If they are we can literally just kidnap her and enslave her as a dungeon minion. She then becomes repossessable property as part of the dungeon.

Try not to kidnap her
Try not to kidnap her
Try not to kidnap her
Try not to kidnap her
Try not to kidnap her
Kidnap her

>>713464
This plan is sensible and boring. I support it but we all know we are going to kidnap her.

>>713464
I don't know why your so obsessed with thinking that the law is the same here and in real life, the law can be this fucking retarded because it is that fucking retarded.

>>713464
You're assuming that this bizarre magic world even has police or centralized government. While we know that they have bureacracy, they could still be pretty shitty in terms of human rights.

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>>713432
They're normally not this stupid!

And I'm giving her one last chance before I just stick in her jail or a pit of comfy slimes or something.

"No, I'm not talking about payment plans! Do you realize how stupid this is!? How ripe for abuse this system is!? That means I could literally just toss the mantle onto someone else and force them to take on the debt!"

"Well, normally you can't... There's this whole process to transfer such things but since he used a spell to transfer it he was able to skip all of the paperwork. If you look here it's detailed in-"

"No! That's ridiculous! Society does not work that way! It SHOULDN'T work that way! You guys should be helping me track this person down! You should be helping me get free!"

"I'm sorry but that's not in my job description... Now, if you'd like, we could begin discussing these payment plans. I think you'll find them-"

"NO! It's dumb, you're dumb, the whole thing is dumb! I'm an Auditor, I know how this is supposed to work, I shouldn't even have to worry about this! If this is how it works I could just make you into my minion! Right now! Cause you're in my dungeon and I'm running the thing!"

"Well, no that's not quite how it-"

"Well why shouldn't it!? IF YOU CAN JUST DECLARE PEOPLE HAVING TITLES AND THE LAW ACCEPTS IT WHY CAN'T I JUST DO THAT TO YOU!? You know what, I'm doing it! You work for me now! There, how do you like that!?"

"I don't consent to this trading of titles."

"Don't care! Already did it! Welcome aboard! See how that feels!? That's exactly what happened to me! Now, you get our boss down here right now and-"

1/2

>>713495

Hey, I listed plenty of reasonable stuff to diffuse this situation. When that inevitably fails, we are locking her in the dungeon with us.

>>713510
>>713512

I'm aware that Larro can just Rule Zero any argument, but that's a boring abuse of power and makes the background of the world dysfunctional.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>713514
YES RUTH YES
SMASH

>>713514
Ruth, knock the auditor.

>>713514
Do it, Ruth.

DO IT.

>>713510
It becomes so inceredibly abusable tho.

Anyway, i have a plan for what she can be used for to draw a new type of adventurer!

Spread word that the slimes of the Citadel have captured and imprisoned the fair princess of a distant kingdom! Do they hav ethe courage and skill to rescue this fair maiden from the sticky, goopy clutches of the mother of SLIMES?!

>>713522
Ah yes the glorious background of.....

>>713514

Oh, fuck, this is going to end with them levying an assault suit on us for Ruth giving her the *clonk* as an automated response to our rage, isn't it?

>>713514
>Now, you get our boss down here right now and-"
Uh...Mary, why are you telling her to bring you down there?

>>713514
Good idea Mary, set up so you can plead insanity in the court case. "spell induced stress caused minor bouts of insanity" seems a fair defense, you can't LEGALLY hold a debt you aren't mentally able to understand right?

Also Ruth, might be best to knock them both out.

>>713514
>but since he used a spell to transfer it he was able to skip all of the paperwork.
Then you "signed" the "paperwork" under duress and it's null and void.

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>>713514
>Alex's phone rings.
>She answers it.

"... Boss?"

"Heeeey, Alex, it's me. Your boss. Couldn't help but notice you got a new job at the Slimecrown Citadel! Super happy for you. But you know our policy on working for our customers. Sorry, you're fired."

"What?"

"But I hope you have fun at your new job! Toodles~!"

>He hangs up.

"..."

".... Ah, shit. I uh... I didn't think that would actually work. You know, someone really should fix that."

"........"

>>713603
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'M DYIN' HOLY SHIT

>>713514
>>713588

This. You CANNOT transfer titles/debt/anything without consent.

>>713603

What the fuck?

File: tumblr_o6lyrl3ItW1tpgq0jo1_400.gif (1.62 MB, 300x159)

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>>713514
>>713603

BRAVO MARY. BRAVO!

>>713603

Hahaha, get wrecked.

>>713603
Criminally negligent boss is best boss.

>>713603
Laugh maniacally

>>713603
I'm a bit jealous. He seems a lot more on the ball with Alex.

It's blatant favouritism.

>>713603
LAUGH AT HER
REJOICE
GIVE HER THE CROWN TOO, MARY
TAKE A BREAK, WE'LL GIVE HER A BEATING

>>713603
HAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHSHAHASHHAHSHWHWHAHAHAHAHAJHAH

>>713603
"SEE?! SEE WHAT THE LAW DOES?!

Anyways, here's a free ticket to the spa, go relax while I do the paperwork for your new job. Which is... something. I'll think abut it."

>>713603
WAKE ME UP!

>>713603
Wait, stop Ruth from hitting her now.

>>713603
Ahahahahahahahahahahahhahaha!

Do you understand now?

Now get suited up. There is a dress code.

>>713603
you know we could probably just hire every auditor they send at us until the bank has no employees.

>>713603
"...You know, we have health care. Even free visits to our company spa."

>>713603
You're in for the long haul now, friend.

>>713613
Wizards.

>>713603
Well shit. Guess we have to find a job for her.

"Sooooo, Alex. What skills can you bring to the table?"

>>713627
WAKE ME UP INSIDE!

>>713603
"Gimme that phone for a moment."

As soon as you get the phone, make your ex boss your employee.
As soon as he's fired from the bank, send him into the basement and fire him from the dungeon.

>>713603
No, This is perfect! We'll keep kidnapping Auditors and then eventually, Alex will be the only one left. At which point we appoint him the title "Official door mat of Slimecrown Citadel"!

>>713624
A living warning for when they send the next prospective minion to us to try and arrang ea payment plan.

>>713644
>>713627
CANT WAKE UP.

>>713603
OH NOOOOO

Oh well tell her if she actually wants to work for you, I'm sure we can find something for her to do. Would she object to becoming a demon and working as one of the minions here? Or she could act as your representative to the outside world since we can't actually leave.

>>713647
this

Maybe we can leverage this. Can we like, seize ownership of the bank somehow?

>>713603
excellent. assign her to work with the archiver sorting the runes.

>>713650
Sorry meant "Boss"

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>>713603
Be smug. Show the smug. You have all the right to be smug.

>>713647
This.

>>713647
So much this.

>>713659
no, even better, she can be our accountant! Put her auditing skills to use! Mary is in charge of Dungeon design as the Dungeon Manager/master

>>713666
Is there a way to be smug and sympathetic at the same time?
Because that's kinda what I'm feeling.

But yeeeeeeeeah, kinda sorry about that actually.

Theyll probably send payment requests via carrier pigeon or something now.

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>>713603
GLORIOUS!

>>713657
Tell everybody at the bank they're hired until they're all fired?

>>713603
Call him back and we can hire him too!

>>713627
>This whole scene was actually a nightmare

>>713647
>>713656
>>713667
>>713673

He hung up, nerds.

>>713603
Gotta say though, this is fantastic.

aHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHahhaaaa... but yeah, we're gonna have to do something about that debt eventually. Don't want them to just take our dungeon...

>>713647
Not sure if that will work, but we should try that.

>>713603
Okay, this is just stupid. When we were cursed, he at least acted like he was trying to solve the problem. This is just blatantly stupid.

You know what? I'm pretty sure this is part of his plan. He saw how successful you were in your new job and he's trying to squeeze you for money. The only reason he's doing this now is to stick with the whole "non-consensual employment is totally legit" pretense so it'll look like he actually has some legal claim on you.

What we need to do is talk to Alex and learn what he was planning. Did he tell her anything? Don't act like she's the enemy here; she's just doing job. It's the legal system and your ex-boss that are the bad guys.

WAITWAITWAIT

If we can just kidnap/hire Alex, and possibly other auditors...

Can we kidnap/hire our boss?

...

Alex, hand me your phone. (calls up boss)

...

HEY ASSHOLE! I SEE YOU LOOK LIKE A PRETTY GOOD TRAP TESTER AND JANITOR! YOU'RE HIRED IMMEDIATELY, YOU MISERABLE DICKHEAD!

"Okay, since you work for me now and I am still quite angry... you get to wear... the skimpy costume and attend the gift shop."

>>713691
That and I bet that the guy doesn't have that dual employment clause. It would be too easy.

Let's keep doing this till the bigwigs show up so we can make them into our minions as well and perform a hostile takeover of the company.

>>713647
DO IT

>>713705
Not unless he enters the dungeon and it not an adventureer.

People, for God's sake, it was said right there by US that it only worked because this auditor was physically in the dungeon.

Besides, if we did have those powers, there's a fair chance our... FORMER.... boss knows about them, and has blocked that number ASAP.

>>713691
Phone him back then.

>>713691
Yes. It's a pity cell phones can only ever be used once.

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>>713603

>>713726
Hes not gonna answer. He is in on this shit.

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"Sooooo... What kinda skills do you have?"

>Alex responds by crying.

"I'm fired!?" She yells, extending the word with a chocking sob.

"Yeah. Again, kinda sorry about that."

"But this isn't r-right! Y-you can't just make me do this! I h-had a j-job and I w-w-was gonna go to the t-t-toooooop!"

"Yeah, you see how-"

"This is wrong! I can't believe he just fired me! I didn't want this! I just wanted to get the moneeeeeyyyy!"

"... Okay, you know I'm trying to feel sorry for you. Really am. But it's getting hard when you're saying THE EXACT STUFF I WAS JUST SAYING TO YOU."

1/2

>>713723
yes, this

Oh, you should also probably apologise for accidentally getting her fired too. You're not evil yet, you just got caught up in legal bullshit. (rune her phone, we need to make it so that the only way people can contact us is by entering the dungeon).

If they're charging the debt to the King of Demons can't Mary just open a new position like "The God Emperor of Demons" and pawn off the King title to someone else?

>>713738
Great, now you made her cry...

>>713738
BITCH SLAP HER. YELL AT HER TO "GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF!"

>>713738
Hey, Mary. As her first job, have her pose for a Daki.

>>713738
Im dying. You are killing me Larro. My sides.

It's like talking to a mirror. A dimwitted, oblivious mirror.

Hey, do we have any empty cursed mirrors lying around?

...wait a minute how did he find out so fast? Is she wearing a wire? You better check her for hidden microphones and scrying effects and shit!

>>713738
So she was just intentionally ignoring our side of the situation the whole time?

Fuck sympathy send her work already

>>713738
Wow, were you this much of a pussy? Bitch needs to learn some respect. For you. Backhand that ho.

Hold on.
The debt is attached to the title "King of Demons", but since Mary is a woman and identifies as one, wouldn't that mean that she is the Queen of Demons?

>>713738
Oilivia should come in and lend a hand. And some other comfy attendants to help calm her down.

>>713738
Let's get you to the Spa, alright? Might as well show you our amenities and benefits for working for us.

>>713738
Don't blame her for this. She's just a messenger who got caught up in this mess.

Hand her a body pillow. Hugging it will help her calm down.

>>713750
yes, new people = new dakis

>>713738
Holy crap, she's flatter than demonologist.

With both in the same room, the average cup size will be near 0.

>>713738
...Sigh.

Okay, yeah, it's out of my system. Now I kinda feel bad. Really, though, it's clearly abuseable. And look, she wants to do things? I kinda like the idea of her being our outside rep as said here. >>713653

She can be the one who goes outside and buys stuff for us. Lets her still have a social life and everything.

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>>713759

>>713759
It's a title. It cares not who holds it.

>>713759
may be declared and gender neutral title given some of the monsters that can control a dungeon

im mean do skellis even have a gender after all?

>>713738
>I just wanted to get the moneeeeeyyyy!
ok, ditch this gold digger, out out out!

>>713738
Keep your title but give your debt to her, and have her work off the debt. Do the same with every non-adventure that wanders in here.
especially with people that are named Tali.

>>713738

She's a fucking moron and a whiny one at that... Still, she's an auditor and has spells. She also isn't a demon... Sigh. Give her an aptitude test. Figure out her qualifications. Offer to pay her accordingly, if the figure isn't too unreasonable. There are worse things than having a dedicated legal rep.

>>713755
Wait. You do have a point. FUCK! he might have been scrying on us ALL ALONG!

>>713779

>Hug her Mary, we are not bad with our workers and she is our minion now!

>>713779
Cant, debt is attached to the title, and its magically bound to us.

Drachma bank can fuck itself tho.

Hey, we have an accountant now!

>>713738
Wow... how mean Mary, you need to take responsibility! You really are evil. I don't think it's the demonic aura getting to you, you're actually just finally getting a chance to be yourself, a horrible person who likes to make people cry. I should have known since you worked for a debt agency.

But you can redeem yourself! Give her a hug and tell her it'll be okay, we'll make a good person out of you yet! We need to get Curi in here to apply motherly hugs stat!

>>713789
But she works for us now. And the only way she can be free is if she helps work off our debt.

>>713777
Thats not gold digging. It was her job

Since we got an auditor as a minion, how about we start selling the adventurers some quick high interest loans in the event they need money immediately for resurrections or other things?

>>713784
This

>Mary you are becoming a demon, sorry. Yeah that's gow it works, too much time in the dungeon and that, plus the stupid tittle.

>>713799
Yeah, but its still attached to us with the title. Her job can be to help us sort this shit out.

>>713738
>I just wanted to get the moneeeeeyyyy!
If it's just money that she's after, Drachma Bank is ripe for a pair of wrongful termination suits, and we need someone fairly competent to represent us in court since we can't appear there in person.

>>713802

Ah yes, rule of the mask. You wear the mask too long you become what you are pretenting to be. Also demon realm contamination on humans... damn.

>>713806
That works too.

>>713811
Well, if we become a demon thats another suit against drachma once the debt is taken care of.

>>713809
Minions can temporary leave the Dungeon. And we just got one with legal experience.

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>>713738
>The girl is still in sobbing hysterics.

>Mary grabs her phone and tries dialing her old boss. The phone simply says that the number can no longer be reached.

Expected that.

...

Man, that is some impressive lung capacity.

>Mary waits until the girl calms down a bit.

"Alright, tell me everything you know. What's going on at Drachma Bank."

>The girl sniffles and wipes her sleeve.

"W-well.... Our B-boss was g-gonna send over a curse breaker but -sniffle- he saw the dungeon was starting to turn a profit... Th-that mean you were r-running the dungeon... And we saw the reviews you were getting s-so... We figured we could try again t-to get the m-m-money from you... I just wanted to talk about the payment plans..."

"Wait, hold on. You guys were gonna come rescue me?"

"I think... I don't know... He mentioned something about it but it got put on h-hold... He d-didn't tell me much, I just heard most of this from the office..."

That son of a...

He just wanted the money.
He didn't care where it came from.

"And these payment plans? You kept trying to get me to talk about them."

"If you... If you agreed to discuss payment plans with me that would imply that you were fully willing to take on the debt..."

"Hold on... So I'm not actually in debt?"

"Not until we have all the pieces together... We already knew you were working on getting this dungeon up and running be we just needed you to accept the debt as your own... Do I get my own room..?"

I can't believe they were going to do this to me...

so, does anyone else feel like trying to orchestrate the down fall of the Darachma bank? if that insane minion thing worked we can probably exploit there stupidity somehow.

>>713829
K so bring them to court with this witness

>>713829

CAN'T SNICKER-SNACK THE MARY-MACK

>>713829
Just say you forcefully employ your old boss, if she's wearing a wire that he's listening in on it's gotta work!

>>713829
Motherfuckers. That's it, Darachma bank is going down!

>>713829
How precisely did captain incompetance manage to get that much turnover?

>>713829
Nay. For your first night at Slimecrown Citadel you must sleep in the slime pit! It will be very comfy, should you survive the experience. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN

>>713829

The monster in the basement's got nothing on bankers.