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"We can't, uh, make a Fake in like one and a half day with- "

"Unless you want a Frankenstein from spare parts"

"And since you were so specific with that cute drawing, we just /can't/ fuck up."

"Or half-ass it."

"Or take too lo-."

"Or want to. We like-."

"Most just throw in a few details and colours, then expect for us to read their fucking minds."

"They complain."

"And sue."

"So we fuck with them on purpouse."

"Like Ado."

"Last time, we gave a white girl Fake to a black dude in front of his wife."

"We also put a dick in her."

"He beated the living shit out of me!-"

"That was gre-."

"Really though, we like Nielly's design a-."

"It's more like we don't want people to think poorly of Fakes, so we do em the best we can."

"And as pretty as we can."

"Mostly to make people feel insecure."

"Or jealous."

"Or horny."

"We can be pretty fucking retarded sometimes."

"Yeah."

"Yes.

"Oh god yes."

"We did fuck around with Nielly's AI for a while,though."

"Dude, what if we put the AI in that banana? She could get a feel of Nielly's while we work on her ass."

"Yeah, where was it?"

"Here it is."

"Hey guys, I've got a better idea."

"Does Roomba count as our daughter?"


(Cont!)
>>
Archive: http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Haremhorn

Twitter: @haremhorn

Asks: /himehorn, /haremhorn, /roombachan

"Whats a himmy?" http://manga.clone-army.org/wiki.php?entry=horned_ones

Workout routines: https://www.muscleandstrength.com/articles/savage-4x4-strength-hypertrophy-workout.html

-----------------------------=w=--------------------------

As far as you are concerned, your headset is now Nielly herself. Or will be; according to the Sansuis her program still is adapting itself to the device, but the process should be over before you realize.

Trash, walking through the street next to you, has been quiet. Her head leans forward. Her yellow sports jacket is open. And both her hands rest in each pocket of her pants, which matches the jacket's goldy-yellow pattern with blacks tripes.

As for you? Well... you are kinda dozzing off. And it seems Trash took notice.

"Last time," she says, "I had to pee. The more I pushed out, the more she sucked me in. Toasty," she turns to look at you, her face blank, "I lift twice my weight."

You shake your head slightly. "Vaal really seems to like physical contact. How did that turn out?"

"I had to elbow her in the side. Twice."

You blink. "Oh, dear.."

"So, what now?"

You glance at her. "What do you think about this team? !'%&, Deso, Maximus, Lumina, Preah, and Bravado."

"Weeeelll-" she gets both hands behind her head, "the three stooges are pretty solid as a team, but they lack muscle. Or intent. Yeah, that." She takes one wild yawn, it ends with a bored look on her face. "Deso is traumatized. She hates violence as much as Horny, if you yell in front of her she hides behind someone. !'%& is working on that. He teaches her things and gets her places; it's cute. Maximus, um... he's a Big Brother, the only motherfuckers to actually make friends with the Hands. Moody is a good choice, Preah is Preah, and Bravado fucking stinks, I'd pick the White Walker if I had to heal someone."

"Would the White Walker be able to heal a broken limb?"

"It's kind of like, instant healing versus long-term healing. It hurts like fuck, but QG can get you back in a fight at once, while also slicing bullies into small pieces fit for children." She raises a finger. "It's also used for repairs." Trash pauses, then stops; you are already at the door of the building. "That being said, Mi Abass was raised by the nitroliches ever since she was a kid, and fucking look at her." She walks up to the door. "I'm so glad I don't get to make these choices. Also... by "what now", I meant "what are we going to eat?" she WINKS at you.
>>
>>730731
"Did you have something in mind? I can cook just about anything if I have the ingredients and we could stock up on supplies for the ship while we're out shopping. Unless you'd rather just have breakfast now and wait on supplies until the ship is officially signed over to us?'

Hmm, man I'm still having a hard time finalizing the crew. Deso not having as much combat power due to psychological issues seems to mess with my idea of her as a potential defense, but that has me more interested in Maximus now. I'll have to ask more about the big brothers later. I know Trash doesn't like Bravado at all, but if Mi Abass turned out like she did with nitrolitches for rolemodels then that just makes me want him around even more. Though White Walker and Motherfucker on the same ship would be... interesting.
>>
>>730848
oops forgot my trip
>>
>>730848

"Did you have something in mind?" The door opens. It leads to a small room, where a bald
man in uniform sits behind a desktop, his eyes fixed on a monitor. "I can cook just about
anything If I have the ingredients, and we could stock up on supplies for the ship while we're out
shopping. Unless you'd rather just have breakfast now and wait on supplies until the
ship is officially signed over to us?"

"Breakfast. Something with fruit and milk. And coffee. I need coffee. There's this cheese Corny
likes a lot... crap, I can't remember." As you both walk by Trash nods at the man, who nods
in return.

"Corny?"

"Vaal. And I'm being /generous/, mark my words Toasty." The elevator opens; Trash steps
in first. "Breakfast, then whatever. That'll work. Yeah, that'll do." she stretches upwards; her
arms bend at the small roof.

"Trash, I was wondering." she turns at you. "Does it upset you that I didn't pick you for the
team? You really did help me all this time, and I'm very grateful for it."

"Have you made up your mind yet?"

You frown your eyes as you "hmm". A ring sounds; the elevator door opens. Trash steps
out before you. "I still have a few doubts here and there."

"Take your sweet little time. And don't worry about me." Trash presses her thumb against
the small green screen that's where the doorknob used to. The door is swallowed by the ceiling with a flushing sound. "I'm not doing this
for free."

You both stop on your tracks. Sitting around the small glass table, besides Vaal and the shaking
hornmother, is a hooded figure. Slowly lifting a small cup of tea towards its mouth, barely noticing any of you.

It's roughly dropped over the table with a clanking sound. You are faced by wide open, dead eyes.

"Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, Roomba!"
>>
>>731812
"Hello... Err, have we met before?"

I assume I don't recognize their face at all. The shaking horn mother doesn't give me a good feeling about this but we'll see.

Also I guess I assumed too much, I assume what Trash meant by "not doing this for free" was that she was already on the payroll. Ah well.
>>
>>731959

"Hello...." you glance at the shaking hornmother, at Vaal's blank face, "Err, have we met before?"

"Stay." her voice goes deep and sharp; the hornmother sits, her black eyes still as her horns shake slightly. The hood goes off, revealing a brown hair that's curly and brown. She starts humming, then fumbles through her pockets; a gun comes out.

"What a-" Trash stops, as the gun is pointed at her; yet Vaal remains cold as ice.

The girl turns to you; then smiles widely. "Hi! Sorry to just break in! I just wanted a few answers if it's not a bother."

Staring at the gun, you slowly nod at her.

She smirks, then points at Vaal with the gun; then at Trash. "Who? Who keeps it's head?"
>>
>>731997
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure what head you're referring to. I don't know alot of things so please forgive ignorance. If you can describe it to me I would be glad to help you find it" We don't need to be rude, but being terrorized isn't going to help resolve this so let's stay calm and polite.

Yep. Exactly the person I didn't want to see. Let's see if we can manage a body count of zero on this encounter. If she's holding the gun herself then I slightly doubt she has her usual entourage but she could just be doing it to make a point and maybe play off or lack of recognition. She wants this head for something, she seems to think at least one person in the room knows what she's talking about and I don't she's going to take "seriously we have no idea what you're talking about but we're totally worth not killing though"

I need to go look up exactly what broken horn told us about Laeteli and her motivations. If Nielly was here she'd have some creative solutions for dealing with her, but Roomba has nothing but kindness.
>>
>>731997
>>732107 Scratch this, I misinterpreted what she meant. It seems to be the classic villain move of "Pick which of you friends has to die"
>>
>>731997
AAAhh!! I missed it!

And we should tell her killing means no answers.

And she already killed one of our friends, so there's that.

And yes, I still feel bad about that
>>
>>735206
See the follow up post to mine, the question she wants an answer to is "who should I kill first?"
>>
>>735261
I stand by my defiance of her.
>>
>>731997
Jump her.
Get both hands on either side of her head and shout "Don't shoot or I taze her unconscious! Any world where she will kill my friends with impunity is a world I don't want to exist!" Do so if they do shoot, otherwise proceed to explain "I want to have a conversation with her on equal ground. If I can't convince her to change her mind I'll stand down, but at least give me a chance!"
>>
>>735413

"O-oh, who? Who... who?" you start, your eyes darting between places, as you slowly walk towards Leateli. She raises an eyebrow.

"I said..."

"I-Im sorry!" You keep on moving, one pixel at a time. "I'm not sure what head you're referring to. I don't know a lot of things, so please forgive my ignorance." As you quickly glance at Leateli, her mouth is almost gaping. "If you can describe it to me... I would be glad to help you find it!"

"What!" she lashes out, standing at once. "Is this toaster stupid, that's not what I'm saying at all!" she's... pouting. "I'm not looking for a head, I'm going to blo-"

You jump at her... your head bounces against an invisible wall, and you fall on your butt. Leateli gazes at you, frozen, then her mouth twists into a bitter smirk.

"...What was that just now?" she asks, almost politely.
>>
>>735508
Sigh.
"An override in emergency situations. If I can't find a solution to a time sensitive problem i do whatever was best I thought of at the time. As you can guess, I'm not very good at thinking of ideas. So I take it you're here to kill, me, my friends, and most of the population of the second then?"
>>
>>735528

You sigh, helplessly, and as you look up at Leateli you notice the faint distortion between you and her, like staring at the horizon on a very hot day.

You try to stand, yet a subtle force keeps you almost kneeling.

She chuckles. "What a silly doll. MOVE." Her features are clear now; she walks up to you, still with that smirk. "No manners! At all! A lovely girl comes with a simple question, and all you can think of is beating her up?" She shakes her head, then her finger as she smiles. "No, no, that won't do."

"It's an overr-" she kicks you in the head. Her shoe must have steel at least...

She lets silence settle down, perhaps waiting for you to answer. You don't. You have no idea what to-

"...me on."

You blink. Leateli blinks; you look down.

"...me... on!"

Slowly, as if to let the invisible sentinels know you mean no harm, you lift the dense headset around your neck and wear it.

"Pretend you are stupid." you hear, from the dense speakers, "Or crazy. Whichever suits you best."

From the floor, you glance at Leateli. Who's still staring at you, quizzically, tilting her head.
>>
>>735700
"What's a manners? Are they bad?"
Playing stupid is easy as a fake, and lately she's had to play the "what?" game a lot, so this should be interesting.
>>
>>735736
You smirk, then pout, then melt your face into a mixture of disgust and joy, as if your cat came out of the sewers after two weeks completely drenched in poop.

"WHAT'S A MANNERS." you yell, smiling. "ARE THEY BAD?"

...You witness as Leateli's features slowly untie themselves, calmly but surely turning into a sad smirk as she turns towards Trash.

"...What?" she says, slowly shaking her head.
>>
>>735761
"ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAD
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAE
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAF
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB0
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB1
WHATS A MEMORY SECTOR?
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB2
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB3"

And so on and so forth. If we see that Leateli has turned away from us give Trash a wink while otherwise keeping up the act, otherwise wait for any further instructions.
>>
>>735790

You don't have vocal cords. You don't /need/ vocal cords; a Fake can mess with volume as
much as it feels like.

"AAAAA-AAAA-A-AA-AAA!" Darting your head from side to side, you let out one long,
powerful, and certainly sinister, high-pitched shriek that goes up and down in volume,
chaotically. Then you slip. Leateli seems almost angry, her cheeks, puffing, as you roll
back and forth over the floor. Like a stroke.

"ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAD
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAE
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEAF
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB0
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB1
WHATS A MEMORY SECTOR?"

You stop. Completely. Then, as Leateli starts talking-

"ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB2
ERROR IN MEMORY SECTOR 0xDEADDEB3"

Leateli turns to Vaal in one fashionable, fluid motion. It ends with one of her palms facing
the ceiling beneath which there's another room, and then the endless sky. In that exact
moment you wink at Trash; her face sees some rough distortion. You keep up spasming.
You hope not to know wheter the hidden soldiers could see that or not.

"Was... /this/ " Leateli seems to ponder at the world, perhaps wondering if it fits, "going to run
a help hotline on the surface?"

"What the fuck are you doing." Trash just says bluntly, drawing Leateli's dead eyes to her.
"You can do whatever the fuck you want, sure, but why this?"

"Well." Leateli smiles widely, walking up to Trash and kicking your head again along the
way. "It's kind of my job, so to speak. These kind of altruistic fantasies..." she shakes her
head. "Disgusting."

"Leateli." Trash goes on, calmly. "We are not running, nor we want to, nor would we get a
coin out of running a running a Support Center."

She visible raises an eyebrow, almost innocently. Then turns to Vaal, as the
hornmother hides behind her, to you, laughing in whispers with your head under her boot,
then to Trash, who's half smirking.

She finally gives a massive shrug and says "WHAT?". Nobody says a word; she waits up
Trash to go on, yet she doesn't. "You had all that advertising! You hijacked half the second
garden to get noticed! Don't fuck with me, what's going on?!"

"That's" it's a shallow, sharp voice; both you, Trash, and Leateli turn towards it, and perhaps
even the soldiers. As the hornmother hides behind her, Vaal's face is solid as granite.
"None of your concerns."

(Cont!)
>>
What kind of crazy fan-fiction am I reading?
>>
>>739357
See >>730731
>>
>>739285

You feel pressure on your forehead and then relief, as you hear Leateli's footsteps towards
Vaal. Once the sound ends, you let your body roll a bit more until you face them.

Yet they face each other without a word, as Leateli drinks from a glass of orange juice she
took from the table. "I've come all this way from the First." She's talking slowly. "I got
myself launched inside a missile just to get here on time. I did." Literally, she goes face to
face with Vaal, standing over her toes. "Tell me what the fuck is going on right here, right now,
or I'll dye your hair red."

"Try."

Your eyes widen as you notice the small metal balls, floating around Leateli and Vaal. And, for
a second there, you get to swear the only sound comes from a drop of sweat going
across Trash's cheek.

Leateli turns from Vaal, almost a dancing motion. You hear her coming, then something
kicks you in the face, and then you are facing her slender body. Under her wide, dead eyes,
the brown hooded robe reveals different leather rags patched togueter all across the
lower part of her body.

"All right, garbage." she starts, staring at you in disgust. "What's going on here?"
>>
>>739445
[Annoying modem noises]
>>
>>739445
I roll sense motive. Is she buying the broken fake act or does she really expect something more than >>739474 out of me?
>>
>>739545

Roomba's having a hard time reading Leateli's face for clues! Details she can muster:

-She's doing tempo with one of her feet.
-Both her arms are crossed over her chest.
-Her chin is lifted.
-Eyebrows are not frowning.
-Expression seems blank.

Roomba can't grasp the intent behind her question.
>>
>>740204
So not a ton of detail to go on. Inpatient, closed, and condescending body language with flat affect...
I'll have to say it's 60/40 in favor of her actually expecting an answer so:

Give our head a few more whacks against the floor, freeze for a bit, and shake it off like we just managed to bang a loose memory segment back into place. "Wha?"

If she kicks us again give her our best 56k modem impression, and then shut off the low level light in our eyes. We'll have to see how she reacts.
>>
>>740597

Hands stuck to your waist, you squirm in the floor like a fish just drawn into a boat. Crack; you smash your nape against the floor.

"Wha?!" you shout, as if suddenly being injected behind your neck.

Still from the floor, you slowly face Leateli. You open yours eyes wide and close them, calmly and slowly, a few times over; it ends with a smile.

"Um... I might be a bit confused, I hope not to be out of place here!" you giggle a bit. "Hi! I'm Roomba. You are..." you frown your eyes slightly. "I take you are Leateli?"

Bitterly, Leateli smirks. "It CAN talk, then." She kneels next to you. "Horns... what's going on here?"

"I-"

"A-a-a-a." she shakes her finger in front of your face. Then bends her head next to yours. "Whisper it to me."

...You notice she's very near Nielly.
>>
>>740748
(Yay, she has disgustingly good hearing.)

In a quiet but clear voice:
"Despite every horrible thing that will happen to me, I still want to show everyone in the world kindness, even you. Not to make money or even to satisfy my own ego, but because I think I might be the only one who can try to do it and even pretend to stay sane. If that's unforgivable... well you're just acting according to what you feel is right correct? Same as I am. We just disagree on what's right."

(If I manage to make it to the end of that before getting a boot to the face I'll be absolutely amazed.)
>>
>>740978
Scratch that, new idea needed
>>
>>742773

Waiting warmly. =w=
>>
>>742825
"I just wanted to make friends and go on adventures together, I haven't seen much outside of this ship"
>>
>>744329

You look right, you look left, and make very sure that she notices. Then, you gently cover
her ears from side to side, with both yours hands, as you seal the small tunnel with your
mouth.

"I just wanted to make friends," you pause, for effect, "and go on adventures togueter! I,
umm, haven't seen much outside of this ship."

As an iceberg calmly lifting through the seas, Leateli leaves your hands without hurry or
worry, then turns to look at you not in disgust, but in contempt.

Yet the tunnel remains. "Do you want to be my friend?!" you whisper strongly, and follow with
a wink.

Without cruelty, Leateli winces. She's shaking her head as she turns towards Vaal, smiling.

"What the fuck." she announces, with conviction.

"I told you, we are NOT running a Support Center!" Trash's almost pleading, her voice
carefully arranged to not seem scolding. "I didn't think you hated those so much that you'd
leave the First for this crap."

"Then whyyyyyyyy?!" She whines, not turning to Trash, but to Vaal. "Why did you guys do all
of this, it doesn't make any sense!"

"...none of your concern." Vaal finishes her past sentence, again, her features grim.

Leateli frowns at her. "I still don't believe you."

"Too bad."

"You are doing a Support Center, right?!"

"Maybe."

"Come on, I came all this way already!" Leateli reminds you of those children screaming for a
toy. "Why can't you tell me? What is it? Tell me."

Carefully, Vaal leans her face a little bit closer to her, letting her blonde hair fall to the sides of
her head.

"None. Of. Your. Concerns?"

Leateli smirks. "I'll end the world."

"Ok."

Leateli raises an eyebrow. "I'll really do it."

"Go on."

"I'll kill you."

"Try."

...Leateli stays frozen, perhaps surprised by the edge in Vaal's voice.

(Cont!)
>>
>>744420

Maybe she realized that she's surrounded by small, metallic balls.

"I've set up an AO field around me." Vaal deadpans, peacefully, towards the void around
you. "And as I hope that you can see, as I REALLY hope that you can see...! my AD's
have RIGIs."

"Oh my fucking god JUST TELL HER, JUST TELL HER ALREADY!" It's Trash, clawing her
head with both hands, her voice trimming with despair. She pauses. Then, after taking a
breath, she stomps hard on the floor. "FINE! I'LL TELL HER MYSELF!"

"YOU DO THAT, AND I'LL SHRED YOUR TITS TO PIECES BEFORE I FEED THIS
GIRL HER OWN BLOODY HEAD." Trash calmly, caaaaaalmly, takes a step back, as If
Vaal's voice was a big angry fist. Who turns at Leateli, who's possitively... shaking. "IF THE
WORLD FUCKING ENDS YOU ARE GOING DOWN WITH ME. DO YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Yes."

"Oh god, oh god..." Trash's grabbing her head, walking in small circles.

Leateli's eyes wander; to you, to the hornmother, to the walls... it's as if the answer
to this riddle was written somewhere, but she forgot just /where/. Then, she swallows, and
finally gets it togueter. "Ok! Ok! Come on, I'm... just curious, that's all! I mean, you don't really
have to tell me..."

"I know." Vaal's voice falls like a hammer big as a house over an open field of grass.

"But..." Leateli gestures with her hands, her eyes closed. "If you tell me, I..."

"Please." It's another voice; an Arma forms behind you. You can tell by the plaque on her
forehead, spelling "F R E E". It's features suggest it used to be a small boy. "Please let
her go. We are willing to give you anything you want in return." The Arma kneels towards
Vaal, her palms open over his knees.

Silence shrouds all of you, as Vaal glares at the Arma.

"...If you tell me." Leateli finishes, her voice low... yet sharp.

(Cont!)
>>
>>744596

Vaal smiles like a shark as she looks at her, then she glaces at the Arma. "You better have
water."

"You threaten her," the Arma stands; the soldiers appear behind her, all wearing thick,
big armor from head to toe, "you threaten the world."

"Then pay up. I'd rather be dead than poor now that I've got the chance."

The Arma shake its head. "How can anyone be so selfish..."

"Fuck you. Pay up."

The Arma grimaces, almost in anger. "How much?"

"My own ship."

FREE nods at one of the soldiers; it throws a card that Vaal catches with her AO. Vaal, then,
smirks at them. "So you know who I am. Good; that's why are still here, you know!"

Trash stutters. "Vaal, you are fucking crazy and we are done, we are so fucking do-"

"We aren't done, baby." she winks at Trash, who just stares at her. "Not by a long shot.
Now I need to pay that retard a memory wipe thanks to you."

"Me?" You hazard, tilting your head from the floor.

Vaal turns to Leateli. "Come closer. You will not tell this to anyone. Ever." Leateli hesitates,
but the AO pushes her inside. The soldiers point at her with pulsar guns; Vaal just raises
an open palm at her. Then, she leans to Leateli's hear, and you don't get to hear what
she says. As she talks, the hornmother slowly peeps from the back of the couch. It's over
quickly. You can't tell her face from the floor, but Leateli is very quiet.

"Then," she starts, confused, "why the-"

"Donations."

Leateli shakes her head from side to side. "Why the fuck am I here? I shouldn't be here."
Yet you can tell her cheeks are puffing and her voice has some glee.

"I'm going down there soon." Vaal says, turning at the Arma. "I need some leisure that
none of you is going to do something stupid after I give you back the girl."

"We aren't leaving this room."

"You are. You fucking are. I can't spend this money if the world ends, right?" Now Vaal's
voice is steady. "She stays with me. Safer than she ever was with any of you." She frowns.
"Get the fuck out of my house."

The Arma shakes, his voice wavering. "You aren't taking her hostage."

"She was ever since she came here and you fucking know it. FUCK. OFF."

Slowly, and with an angry scowl, FREE melds into the air along the rest of its team. The door
opens; silence shrouds the room again, and you notice their footsteps don't make any
sounds.

"Trash, AD-TAGI."

"Fuck you."

Half her ponytail falls off, as if cut by invisible scissors.

"I-I don't know where you keep it." she manages, almost crying.

"Leateli, check under the table."

"Me?" She points at herself, quavering. Vaal nods; Leateli crouches, sweat running through
her forehead and arms, then takes out a
sturdy, BIG black briefcase. Vaal nods at her, again; the briefcase opens. You crouch and
lean a bit closer. It's... trimming with a very wide variety of very small devices, some with
gleaming lights and LEDs.

(Cont!)
>>
"That one. Over there." She points; Leateli walks her hands over the devices, looking at
Vaal, who shakes her head. "No. That one. Yes, there."

It's another small metal ball, not unlike most of the devices neatly organized inside the
briefcase.

"It constantly monitors my heartbeat if we are inside the same EKE field." Vaal says. "It will
explode automatically if the check fails." The ball is smashed into Leateli's chest, the tophalf
splitting into four in the process. Leateli takes a deep, sudden breath. "Now it checks yours
as well. Tell your friends not to try anything smart; It's custom made. And remember. The
next time we meet, the world ends. Go."

"H-how come you have anything like this?!"

"None of your concerns."

"Can I have a piece of that?" Leateli manages, pointing at the small lemon pie you made just
a few hours ago, now cold. A part of it just splits from the rest, a neat, precise triangle;
then another, that flies to Vaal's hand.

"Can't blame you." Vaal says, before taking a bite.

Leateli takes a slice. She seems rather calm now, for someone with a bomb stuck between
her breasts. She walks over you as she heads for the door, and you can tell that she's still
shaking slightly.

"Um." she blurts out, once at the door. "Sorry."

The door closes in front of her.

----------------------------:D!-----------------------------

None of you said a word for a while, and this time the hornmother did her best to hide
behind you instead of Vaal. Yet, half an hour later... both Trash and Vaal explode in
laughter, and you laugh too.

"OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD." says Trash, her face bright red. "MY FUCKING PONYTAIL
YOU BITCH!"

"Sorry! Sorry! Sorry!" Vaal says, then laughs. "I just wanted to make it believable, and and,
you know, oh god I got carried away!"

"Ooooh crap!!" Trash is shaking her head.

Vaal drags you and hugs you wildly. "Great job! Great job, Roomba!" she pats your head,
maybe a bit too harshly. You giggle in return. You gasp as the What comes out from under
the couch Vaal as sitting in. It looks around and blinks hard a few times, then shakes itself
like a dog.

"WAH?"

"I was going to tell her we were using the the Support Center as an alibi to sell drugs." Trash
says, then coughs. "What did you tell her in the end?"

Vaal giggles hard, as the hornmother goes for the cake. "Scat porn!"

IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
>>
>>744952
Cut Trash a slice of pie, make sure everyone, even WAHrio gets some. Take a deep breath and actually process what are some very taxed emotional caches.

"So... What did I do that was good exactly? And Trash, why didn't you tell me Veal was the kind of person who could pick up Laeteli like a angry cat, and tell both her and her guard to fuck off, AND HAVE THEM ACTUALLY DO IT. You told her we where going to film some kind of porn and that of all things made her just give up?! And what was that about a memory wipe? *Deep breath* last but not least, what are you going to do with all that water?"
>>
Welp, I'm sold on Vaal. She is definitely someone we need. She has her own ship now. Can we afford to bring her and Trash on as the core of a second team?
>>
>>744952
Hey, do you think this constant banging of our head caused any major problems with our "thinking"-protocols?
Also, to what an extend did Vaal act, how much was not an act?
Also, do you think that we should give Nielly some of the honour being thrown at us, as she was basically the one saving our asses?
Also, do you you think that someone should explain to Batehorn that Vaal was just acting out?
Also, do you think we should ask Vaal if it actually WAS an AD-TAGI, and not just another Bluff?
Also, do you think the Sansuis are taking it a bit to far? I don't want to know what they they were referring to when they said "banana" and "feel".
Also, do you think that Laeteli can be reasoned with at a later point in time, as killing of the supporters will not get rid of overpopulation, but instead of the ENTIRE population, and by that removing ANY chance of survival on this planet, as scientists are working on that kind of shit right now?
Also, what do you think Vaal will get? A hovercraft, an aircraft or a hybrid?
Also, do you think that the Haremhorn should get a little more organized?
Also, don't you find it strange that there is something about gains in the "what you need to know"-section?
Also-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
>>
>>746754
Fakes are actually quite tough, capable of handing some rough treatment without problems. I was just counting on Laeteli not knowing much about fakes with that act.

I'm pretty darn sure Vaal wasn't bluffing. Even if they can't remove it, they could verify that it was indeed explosive without too much difficulty assuming they have access to decent scientific equipment.

OATZ AND SQUATS 4LYFE
>>
>>745175

You take the last slice of lemon pie from the table as Vaal and Trash, sitting togueter,
silently watch the hornmother, who's eating her fourth slice rather furiously. You sit. It's just now
that you finally allow yourself a deep, powerful breath. Your mind, however, does not stop like
you do.

"So..." you direct your voice to Vaal, who turns at you. "What did I do that was good,
exactly?"

"Whuch do u mean?" It's Trash. She swallows. "We took your cue about being retarded."

"Clueless." Vaal corrects her, gently putting a finger on Trash's lips. "She made it seem like
she didn't had a clue. That was some good acting, If I do say so myself!" she beams at
you.

"Acting?" You tilt your head.

"Acting?" Vaal repeats, blinking at you.

"You mean, the whole friendship thing was fucking literal." One of Trash's eyes twitches.

"Trash!" She flinches very slightly. "Why didn't you tellme Vaal was the kind of person who
could pick up Leateli like an angry cat, tell both her and her guard to fuck off, AND HAVE
THEM ACTUALLY DO IT?"

"Well," Vaal shakes her butt against the bed, smiling like a little girl, "you didn't exactly ask
that."

Trash points at her. "Point."

"You could have told me anyway!" You pout at Trash. "And the whole meltdown thing... it
wasn't my idea." They both frown their lips as you point at your headset.

"WAH"

"This is Nielly." You take the headset off, walk up to Vaal, and gently place it over her head.
"Nielly, Vaal."

The blonde's eyes wander at each one of the speakers over her nose. "She blinks."

"Oh, so it was you." She pauses; then nods at the air once. "Well it was her idea, we didn't
actually drag her into this. That would be mean." She pauses again; she frowns, then
smiles. "Well, now she has /you/, fortunately. Right?" Vaal's mouth hovers open; then
laughs. "I know, but trust me; you are going to love her." Vaal looks at you, then winks. "It was
nothing."

She takes off the headset. You wear it, again, over your head.

"So..." you start, a bit quizzically. "You told Leateli we were going to film some kind of...
porn, right? And that, of all things, made her just give up?!"

"You /DON'T/ want to know that." Vaal smiles.

"Oooh, ok..." you nod to yourself, absentmindedly. Then blink hard. "And what
was that about a memory wipe?" You take a sudden deep breath.

"Acting, darling!" Vaal waves a hand at you, dismissively. "It was just acting!"

"Oooooh...." you sit, again, almost letting yourself drop over the couch. "Okay, then! Last
but not least, what are you going to do with all that water?"

"Hmm, I don't know how much do I have." She scratches her head. "It's not like I really cared
about the water, I just wanted them to think that was my motivation. Let's just say it's an
unexpected reward." She giggles.
>>
>>746754
Oooooh, you are that anon in charge of having the world make sense! Where have you been? =w=

>Hey, do you think this constant banging of our head caused any major problems with our "thinking"-protocols?

Roomba feels alright. Fakes are very sturdy!

>>Also, do you you think that someone should explain to Batehorn that Vaal was just acting out?

Roomba remembers the hornmother. She says "Oh."

>>Also, do you think the Sansuis are taking it a bit to far? I don't want to know what they they were referring to when they said "banana" and "feel".

Roomba remembers a literal banana with a port in it.

>>Also, do you think that Laeteli can be reasoned with at a later point in time, as killing of the supporters will not get rid of overpopulation, but instead of the ENTIRE population, and by that removing ANY chance of survival on this planet, as scientists are working on that kind of shit right now?

Roomba doesn't know. She assumes that Leateli being afraid means she cares at least about something.

>>Also, do you think that the Haremhorn should get a little more organized?

Yes! ;w:
Is there anything in particular you'dl like to request?
>>
>>746829

http://ask.fm/haremhorn/answers/139155383033

That's where I've been.
That was all.

Shees, they weren't kidding when she said that Vaal knows how to act.
>>
>>746817
Pat the hornmother and explain to her that Vaal was just being scary to make Laeteli go away, like an apocalypse-horn go home dance, at least if she still seems scared.

"People never seem to know their own strengths. Now I'm even more uncertain about the team I want... Does anyone want a more proper breakfast than pie?"
>>
>>747130
Oh, oh!
I got one!
Mascarpone and Marmalade Stuffed French Toast!
>>
>>747144
>Mascarpone
... Tiramisu french toast. I'm going to get so fat if I ever make that.
>>
>>747154

It is time to cast your vote then:
Epic gains or culinary delights?
>>
>>746817
Anyways, after the stunt Vaal pulled, I'm not sure it would be safe, less for her than for them, to stay on the Second.
She should SERIOUSLY consider not fucking of to some other place, and, I dunno, go catch some pokémon? Become a Gymleader?
Maybe help us make ska- I mean support po- I MEAN SUPPORT CENTER!
>>
>>747202
I'm kinda glad Vaal didn't say something like Fake snuff porn... I might have a bit more problem trusting her if she did. Also one day Trash will get it, until then setting how annoyed Trash gets with Roomba's sweetness will be super amusing.
>>
>>747339
>fake snuff porn
"Is this the moment where I have to scream, as if I were in pain"
'"Urrgh! Cut! Take five, then get ready for take 65!... I hate my life."
"Do you want me to h-"
"No! I don't need any hugs! I'm just dead inside..."
>>
>>747353

>"Is this the moment where I have to scream, as if I were in pain?"

This kills the haremhorn.
>>
>>747353
>>747367
Yep, Vaal might make serious threats of ending the world to extort money out of people trying prevent the apocalypse but even she couldn't imagine trying to make money off being mean to Roomba. Reminds me of that Franken Fran short where she gets cast to act in a (snuff) film about doctor Maderaki. She wasn't harmed at all of course... but she was far from amused.
>>
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16 KB JPG
>>747367
>This kills the horn
>mfw

Well, I shall do as the eurofag does.
Don't expect me before the... tomorrow...

On a side note, did you realize that your trip ALMOST spells out "Bully"?
>>
>>747517

Yup. Almost.

>>747353
This is just too sweet. Fakes don't suffer like the rest, so they are really gentle. People aboard the Second tend (or like) to think that behavior is to mock them; but who knows.
>>
>>747130
>>748357
Let's ask Trash and Vaal what they think we will need in terms of a team, maybe their different perspectives can give us some hints. Also see if they know anything about a sunken witch and her feasts, something Ado mentioned awhile back that recently came to mind.



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