Oh shit nigger(s) it's the aftermath of Civ Thing and all the tribal barbarian God, Brock, has gone mad with unholy powers and is now threatening the lives of everybody in The Kingdom. An army of paladins was formed to destroy this dark god.Your current protags is a group within that army. A party comprising of Holy skeletons, an orc paladin, a barbarian paladin, a golden dragon paladin, a cyborg goblin and two mustached guys. You are at the gate to Brock's unholy domain, what do?Roll 1d100, who gets the highest number is the picked action.Previous threads:http://pastebin.com/sR3G3F2Ahttps://www.mediafire.com/folder/ici3zlnn9ytyy/ADVENTURES
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>749863Inspect the army and troops at our disposal
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>749863Punch selves in faces
Rolled 52 (1d100)>>749863Party screen.
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>749863WoohooPunch selves in face for morale
>>749867Ah yes, morale building
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>749878Holiness Intensifies. Powerrrrr uuupppp!
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>749878Climb the stairway to heaven
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>749878Inspect our army and what assets we have
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>749878cut to epic fight
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>749878Deus Vult!
Rolled 57 (1d100)Have the half dragon spawn from last thread join us.
>>749883Yes of course, you enter Brock's domain and face his unholy spawn
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>749895RIDER KICK
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>749895>unholyTIME FOR PURIFYING HOLY MAGICS
>>749895Mow 'em down till we get to boss room
Rolled 90 (1d100)Kick them in the skeletal dicks!
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>749895> Purge the heretic!
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>749895Holy Meteor!
>>749900My dice disappeared rip mobile
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>749903Roll 2d100 for result.First number is the picking, while the second has to be higher than mine to succeed
Rolled 50, 92 = 142 (2d100)>>749909Rolling...
Rolled 90, 42 = 132 (2d100)>>749909make it a drill too
Rolled 14, 54 = 68 (2d100)>>749909>>749912Shit
Rolled 33, 41 = 74 (2d100)>>749909Praise be to dice god
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>749909
Rolled 91, 6 = 97 (2d100)>>749909
Maybe Almighty will give us a deus ex machina boost?
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>749912Missed! Now the Brock Spawn goes for the counter attack! Roll 2d100 for defense, you know the drill
Rolled 71, 84 = 155 (2d100)>>749923HOLY SHIELD WALL GO
Rolled 5, 26 = 31 (2d100)>>749923Punch his skull in with gauntlets!
Rolled 53, 26 = 79 (2d100)>>749923Rolling...
Rolled 4, 63 = 67 (2d100)>>749923
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>749942HOLY SMITEGO
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>749942holy orc fu
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>749942Supporting:>>749944
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>749942Uppercut to their skeletal balls
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>749944Roll 2d100, yadda yadda
Rolled 89, 73 = 162 (2d100)>>749957
Rolled 50, 18 = 68 (2d100)>>749957
Rolled 41, 85 = 126 (2d100)>>749957Rolling...
>>749863Orcs represent. Wan Pan still alive? Surprised how fast OP made this thread. Also, I guess we never will continue Elf Boy's adventures until the next quest
>>749958Success! Your party continues onwards
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>749972aw yesloot their unholy bodies
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>749972do a victory pose
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>749972> Continue onwards. Destroy any artifacts or writing you come across for they are tainted by the ruinous powers...
>>749974You ogt: some burned ashes
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>749983turn the ashes into diamonds
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>749983ONWARD
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>749983party banter
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>749983Purify then compress them into holy diamonds to amplify holy magic.
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>749986you turn coal into diamonds nigga>>749983>>749987
>>749992nigga pleaseit's a metal gear solid reference
>>749987As you move deeper into the unholy domain, your party members talk to eachother"So how are you so okay with helping killing your tribe's god?""Eh, never liked him that much....Or the other barbarians for that matter"
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>750006are by chance considered the fact you're adopted? Have you ever had the feeling of not being gay or the tendency to not suck dick like the other barbarians?
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>750006where is this domain perse? are we in the sky? help me out here
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>750006Messiah : stay back and support everyone from afar with your holy magic, you have a reeaaaally bad feeling about the conclusion of this adventure
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>750006I'll be honest I didn't think that fake map would've worked that well back when we orcs were savages.
Rolled 37 (1d100)Remember the time all the barbarians pelted us with rocks, sending us into a berserker rage.
>>750015"And I didn't think that random kingdom seal we goblins picked up would do anything either. But...here we are"
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>750024speaking of that, where the fuck are we? Where the fuck is brock supposed to be? Messiah, directions
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>750024Goblin Rider, say your deepest apologies to Wan Pan for putting him in that situation
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>750024we should start a band
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>750024>Onwards! Have no fear for we walk in the Emperor's light!
>>750026"Sincerest apologies""...""Didn't the Orcs summon the King in the first place though?"
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>750036Maybe...Let's Start a Band!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>750036Man the goblins didn't rat out where we were building our secret base.No need to get mad at them.The dragons got genocided by that angry manlet in a mech so no point getting mad at the last one.There's no reason to be mad, we fight for the lord now.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>750036Ah ha, Orc Diplomacy.They also released a sentient sword that's bent on killing everyone
>>750036The main problem we've been neglecting is. How do we kill a fucking god? Will our fists and stones and magic and technology even work against him?
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>750036> Our Heroes accidentally trip a death trap...
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>750036Past is past. We must protect the world.
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>750036but see, we thought the box was a portal to more Waifus. Any man would have done the same
>>750043that was the barbs
>>750006Wow... he is so like me. But way more traitory>>750053Your sword. Your fault. Us Barbs broke it to make sure we didnt die.And we didnt.
>>750062you broke the sword, it was contained as a whole! it's all your fault!
>>750065Barbs dindu nuffin
>>750041"THAT'S RIGHT BROTHERS! WE ALL SERVE UNDER THE ONE TRUE GOD NOW! ISN'T THAT RIGHT, WANPAN?.....Wanpan?......Oh right, it's this shit again"
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>750071welphe's not talking while orc diplomacy is in effectlet's keep moving forward
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>750071Shit all the orc players vanished again didn't they.No one's controlling him anymore.
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>750071when every one moves onfinally Wan Pan interjects
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>750071we interrupt this quest to have a look at wanpan's thoughts
>>750076"When mosquito lands on your testicles, do you truly learn to solve problems without violence""....I see""...thanks, uh, for that""Deep"
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>750089Next level of Brock Dungeon! Pose at gate!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>750089Let's move on
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>750092AND NOW...Roll 2d100 to resist trap
Rolled 33, 22 = 55 (2d100)>>750099THAT AIN'T SHIT, BROCK
Rolled 12, 85 = 97 (2d100)>>750099
Rolled 98, 65 = 163 (2d100)>>750099
Rolled 29, 97 = 126 (2d100)>>750099The trap is actally a boy who wear like a girl.
>>750105Trap successfully disarmed
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>750119STRIKE A POSE
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>750119Charge!
>>750123You struck a pose, right in the face.
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>750119eat a pose
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>750125But did you punch self in face?yes
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>750125>>750129
>>750128Already did senpai
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>750136ok well let's move forward to our destination.
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>750136Eldritch KingDad is your next opponent
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>750136Advance plot
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>750136We can never punch ourselves too much in the face!But yeah, advance plot
>>750138As you move towards the Throne of Brock, more Brock spawns block your path, this time they're the bigger, stronger versions
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>750152just throw rocks at them, jeez
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>750152DEUS VULT ATTACK!
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>750152Luckily we've got so much experience we can level up!Right now.Yes, right now.Sorry fellas, you'll have to wait, because levelling is a free action, much like talking.
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>750152HOLY METEOR GO
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>750152team suplex
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>750152Bitchslap them because we are badass.
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>750160Roll 2d100, you know how it goes.Bigger Brock Spawn gets a +10 bonus
Rolled 51, 8 = 59 (2d100)>>750168ez
Rolled 38, 44 = 82 (2d100)>>750168FUCK YOU BROCK
Rolled 23, 66 = 89 (2d100)>>750168What the big guy said.
Rolled 93, 11 = 104 (2d100)>>750168
I think Brock has diety over all rocks !!!
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>750173THe Bigger Brock Spawn breaks through the meteor and brings its claw down upon your party! Roll 2d100 for DefenseBigger Brock Spawn gets a +10 bonus
>>750176I vote for keeping trying.
Rolled 18, 75 = 93 (2d100)>>750177REEEEEEEEFUCK YOU BROCK
Rolled 28, 32 = 60 (2d100)>>750177just punch them in da face, big deal
Rolled 65, 97 = 162 (2d100)>>750177This is getting a little silly.
Rolled 70, 11 = 81 (2d100)>>750177
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>750177Shieeeet
Rolled 95, 71 = 166 (2d100)>>750177
Rolled 9, 82 = 91 (2d100)>>750187Ah fuck
>>750186The party takes damage!
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>750191Moustache paladins rush in with holy lances!
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>750191Passive heal and counter attack.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>750191COUNTER-DRAGON CLAW!DEUS VULT!
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>750191heal! heal!
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>750191'tis is but a scratch!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>750191COMBINATION ATTACKDRAGON MESSIAH AND MANLET RIDA
>>750196>>750197>>750198Holy shito! Combo breaker!!!
>>750196Ah yes, good thing there's no rolling for healing because that'd just be too cruel...anyway your party is healed, with lay on hands and all that jazz
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>750206>>750198DUAL FLAME ATTACK INTO RIDER KICK
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>750206RIP AND TEARRIP AND TEEEEEEEEEEARalso call Brock a wuss cause he doesn't go 1 on 1 as real man
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>750206holy Spirit orc slam
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>750206C-C-COMBO ATTACK
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>750210Roll 2d100, you know by nowBigger Brock Spawn gets a +10 bonus
Rolled 69, 21 = 90 (2d100)>>750215Rolling...
Rolled 5, 36 = 41 (2d100)>>750215TEAR AND RIPDANCE AND SING
Rolled 25, 94 = 119 (2d100)>>750215DEMON SCUM
Rolled 95, 89 = 184 (2d100)>>750215You are already dead...!
Rolled 89, 66 = 155 (2d100)>>750215
>>750220AW SHIT NIGGA
Rolled 94, 54 = 148 (2d100)>>750215
>>750220Oh, fug.Thank Almighty i fucked my roll up
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>750229Sing the dankest holy battle ballad together while we advance into this demonic hellscape.TO VICTORY!
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>750229WUSSCHALLENGE BROCK TO FACE USTHE FIRST ONE TO FIGHT HIM IS HOODED BONES1 ON 1
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>750229and now loudly call Brock a wuss
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>750234>>750229dis
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>750229Loot drop!
>>750236"HAHAHA! FOOLS! DO YOU THINK YOUR PITIFUL PARTY OF PATHETHICNESS IS OWRTH MY TIME?! YOU DO NOT KNOW THE EXTENT OF MY POWER, TURN BACK NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN! Plus we're only at like 153 posts, the final boss can't show up so soon, c'mon man."
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>750248"wuss"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>750248wanpan interjects
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>750248Eldrich KingDad shows up to fuck up King and Brother
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>750248WUSS
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>750248>>750234BATTLE BALLAD!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>750248Begin a sidestory to find God to fill the time.
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>750248Then send us a duelist who will challenge us in card game!All your spawns is too weak in combat!!!
Rolled 133, 832, 804, 489, 701, 825, 368, 20, 625, 387 = 5184 (10d1000)>>750251"Very well, I will show you mortals a...haha...preview of what to come whe you dare to challenge a god!"Roll 1d100. The highest roll will be picked to ...contend with Brock's total
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>750271YA WUSSTHAT'S FUCKING NOTHINGNAT 100 HERE WE GO
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>750271Wanpan uses trading card: Black Hole
Rolled 62 (1d100)>>750271That's some Disgaea's level bullshitoh well, there is always time to grind.best of luck anons, I'm out
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>750271Faith shall carry us through.
>>750273"Too bad"Wanpan, is dead."THIS IS WHAT AWAITS ALL OF YOU! TURN BACK NOW WHILE STILL CAN, FOOLISH MORTALS!"Then Brock disappears
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>750281> "Nooo! Wapan!"(Who was Wapan again?)
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>750281WANPAN NOGOBLIN RIDER, SHED A TEAR
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>750281aw what the fuck? well I'm out thanks barbs.
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>750281resurrect him via God Magic as Punished Wan Pan
>>750281I'd argue a 97's higher than a 90 but shit don't matter anymore.
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>750281Shit.Sit down and mourn Wan Pan for a while.And pray to the almighty for help in this wicked journey.
Oh great. This is how Solid felt when Gobbo got splatted...
>>750289"aw what the fuck? well I'm out thanks barbs." famous last words of Wanpan the Orc. He will be missed. Probably.
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>750301Gobbo RiderPray to Kobold Gddess for help
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>750301Power up with Wanpan spirit!
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>750301use reviveon wanpan
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>750301Resurrect him.Can't let his death feed that bitch of a god.
>>750308The party cast Revive on the smear that used to be Wanpan!It was ineffective."HAHAHAHAHA" you can hear Brock's unholy cackle echoing through the air of this wretched place as his dark powers have rendered all who he kill unrevive-able with your mortal powers
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>750325>>750305
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>750325>>750295
>>750325kill the barbarian then
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>750325>Accept that death is a natural part of life. Pay your respects and move on...
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>750329>>750325I'm am also done, the saltyNess of the barb fucking things up have reached my pear. have fun guys.
>>750328Rest in peace Wanpan, he was the best Orc in the Orc tribe, a cunning one puncher, and he was a good friend.
>>750338Not like it was intentional
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>750357We have to move on now.NO MORE TEARS
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>750357Take some of his remains with you
>>750357Use his spirit to fuel holy power
>>750359you are full of shit
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>750357Now we try to communicate with the almighty.We ask for his blessing, to fight against Brock, the evil god.
>>750373I was trying to do a yugioh reference with the orc playing cards.
>>750365"THat's right! Come! We must continue! I shall life our spirits with a battle hymn....ONCE THERE WAS GOLD AT THE END OF THE RAINBOW! HONORED BY BLOOD WE KEPT SEARCHING FOR MOOOORE! LIGHT TURNED TO DARK AS WE LOST WHAT WE FOUGHT FOR! NOW WE AHVE COME TO SETTLE THE SCOOOORE!!!! SACRIFICE! VICTORY! NO SACRIFICE! NO VICTORYYYY!!"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>750390GET HYPED UP
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>750390They all start singing and marching forward
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>750390End the song with a"TO BATTLE, DEUS VULT!"And march on, Starting the song again
>>750395"LIGHT BRINGS US LIGHT ON THE PALE DARKENED HEAVENS!""LEAD US TOWARDS OUR VAST VICTORY!""FIGHTING FOR ALL THAT WE BROTHERS BELIEVE IN!""TOGETHER UNITEDED WE'RE STANDING ALL FOR ONE!"
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>750390Yeeaaaaaa>>750414Wanpan spirit boosts their power
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>750414DEUS VAULT
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>750414CHARGE AHEAD!
>>750417YOur voices echoes throughout the blasted wasteland of Brock's unholy domain, boosting the morale and power of your paladin comrades, who are fighting their own battle towards Brock's throne room on the other side
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>750423The spirit of wanpan is now a holy figure in the faith of the almighty
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>750423Look at the epic battle between the many Paladins and Brock demons
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>750423> There is no time to waste! Charge!
>>750431"ON OUR PATHWAY TO GLORY""WE STAND TOGETHER""HONORED BY BLOOD""SACRIFICE OUR RESPLENDENCE, WE FIGHT FOR FREEDOM""HOLD OUR GROUNDS FOREVERRR""BY THE CODE WE ARE LIVING, WE ARE BREATHING""AND THEN WE DIE""SACRIFICE OUR OWN LIVES""BUT WE'LL NEVER STAND TO LOUSE OUR PRIDE AND GLORY""SACRIFICE""VICTORY"
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>750447Holy Bloody Montage!
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>750447Gain a few levels with all that EXP we earned
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>750447Forward to the final battle with Brock or his lieutenant if he still isn't going to fight yet
>>750381against a boss who was going to kill any of the party members. Don't pretend to be retarded
Rolled 48 (1d100)>>750447Both sides meet up, and end up beating the shit out of each other because they're so hyped up.
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>750447> The final abominable guardian falls. The Party stands before an enormous set of doors sealed with eldritch incantations and reinforced by ruinous energies...
wait what shit Wan Pan's dead? FUCK. Damn. Eh, damnit.
>Come back after watching animu>wanpan is killIt's always the barbs
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>750478> The final abominable guardian falls before you. The Party stands before an enormous set of doors sealed with eldritch incantations and reinforced by ruinous energies...
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>750478Share some banter for morale
Rolled 62 (1d100)cut to Wan Pan chilling in Waifu Heaven or wherever dead Orc Souls go>>750476eh at least there are still some Paladin Orcs left alive right?
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>750478THE SLAUGHTER GOES ON
>>750491>waifu heavenThis needs to happen. So we can finally officially see wanpan's taste in waifus and call it shit
>>750486[ominous latin chanting intensifies]
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>750506Shout a catapult or something.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>750506peek through the keyhole
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>750506BREAK IT OPEN WITH THE METEOR!
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>750516Launch a projectile at it
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>750516Turn back, we haven't reached the post quota in this thread for the final boss fight yet.We totally have to solve a puzzle first right?
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>750516The one we just createdWith a huge holy meteor
>>750519YEs, like this one
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>750524Dildos
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>750524Let the most clever party member answer that one
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>750524> "Uhh... Uhh... I CAST FIST!"
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>750529Why do we have to do a Heretical God's math homework?
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>750529This is a trap made up by brock to delay us ! Crash through the enormous doors !
>>750531Because he was the barb god, so he has no higher brain functions
>>750531"No,wait. It's not math...that son of a bitch..."
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>750540Math is evil and Brock is evil it all makes sense!We must smite this maths question, quickly cast group smite on this sign
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>750540Purposefully give the wrong answer, so that he fail his exams and don't become a full fledge god
>>750543"No need to waste your energy, I know the answer""Now that's just bullshit""Yeah but it's the correct one though"It was the correct one
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>750554So what do we get for answering that oneExcept a headache
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>750554L-Lewd before we move on purify this unholy obscenity and smite it
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>750554> "So, the Barb's Deity seems to be something of a pervert..."
>>750555You get to not have that giant maw you're standing on opening up and eating you
Rolled 4 (1d100)>>750565How shit. Beat the shit out of that maw.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>750565Brock has teeth fetishes says a skeleton
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>750565> Oh. How did we not notice that? Purge that monstrosity with extreme abhorrence...
>>750570"Aslo spikes, lotsa spikes"
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>750575"Remember rock dildos?"
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>750575> Welp. Let's go find more monsters to explode!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>750575Oh, so he's just an angsty teen trying to be an edgelord.Let's call up almighty, he could deal with this shit.
>>750584And now, The Even Bigger Brock Spawn! Also known as spiky toothy demon.
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>750597Oh lord...It's ugly as fuck, but also cute for some reason...Ah well, might as well smite it anyway
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>750597Tell it it's ugly
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>750603Roll 2d100Even Bigger Brock Spawn gets a +20 bonusYou get a +10 hyped bonus
Rolled 34, 1 = 35 (2d100)>>750608IT'S FISTIN TIME
Rolled 9 (1d100)>>750608Lmao ez
Rolled 81, 18 = 99 (2d100)>>750608AHA, GOD IS WITH US TODAY!
Rolled 62, 93 = 155 (2d100)>>750608>>750611oh fugtime to fix your bad roll
Rolled 39, 3 = 42 (2d100)>>750608They all laugh at how pathetic he is and use his skull as a basketball
Rolled 81, 33 = 114 (2d100)>>750608Purge the Unclean!
Rolled 4, 92 = 96 (2d100)>>750608>8Brock fucking sucks and is a pushover. Only brain dead morons would've have actually worshipped him at any point in time.
Rolled 39, 60 = 99 (2d100)>>750608>>750612Wrong dice but still ez
Wow, we all suck
>>750614>a tienothing happens
Rolled 37, 86 = 123 (2d100)>>750629Roll again?
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>750629Fug.Why is it not attacking us?
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>750629JUST DO A COMBO ATTACK DO THE PERSONA CUTOUT
Rolled 87, 16 = 103 (2d100)>>750629Is it made from orc bones? Fucking orc diplomacy
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>750629Convince him to join your partyHe's obviously misunderstood
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>750629saltyness can't keep me away, I'm back in, and I say use summon king slam
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>750629>The Demon must be resistant to magical forces. Strike down his fell beast with unrelenting steel!
>>750623I also forgive you, even when you didn't ask for any. Also I'm done being on my hypocrit high horse
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>750637As it was a tie, you didn't do anything to it and it didn't have a chance to counter attack. Giving you another opportunity to attack again.Roll 2d100Even Bigger Brock Spawn gets a +20 bonusYou get a +10 hyped bonus
Rolled 70, 81 = 151 (2d100)>>750660team suplex
Rolled 80, 90 = 170 (2d100)>>750660GET HYPE BOYS
Rolled 62, 3 = 65 (2d100)>>750660
Rolled 34, 26 = 60 (2d100)>>750660Aw shieeet
Rolled 40, 3 = 43 (2d100)>>750660Rolling...
Rolled 30, 45 = 75 (2d100)>>750660IM SORRY FOR LAUGHING AT HOW PATHETIC YOU WERE EARLIERLETS SMITE AND MAKE UP OK
Rolled 85 (1d100)>>750663>beaten by 7Anyway, it deflected your combo attack and is gonna swipe at you with its claws!Roll 2d100 for defenseEven Bigger Brock Spawn gets a +20 bonusYou get a +10 hyped bonus
Rolled 83, 92 = 175 (2d100)>>750676FUCK YOU GIGA NIGGA
Rolled 82, 29 = 111 (2d100)>>750676
Rolled 35, 31 = 66 (2d100)>>750676Muthafucka
Can we curse dice god while we're at it as a free action?
Rolled 32, 44 = 76 (2d100)>>750676Barbarian dies next I'm feeling it
Rolled 65, 18 = 83 (2d100)>>750676You're a monster op
Rolled 8, 9 = 17 (2d100)>>750676
>>750687It was not meant to be this way
>>750685No we gotta find him in heaven.Make it a sidequest. He's rigging the dice.
>>750691but is dice go just only the product of more dice?
>>750651It's appreciated.>>750691I only see bad things from that
>>750690You can still control the bonuses, it's not too late
>>750695We need something to fill 400 posts and a single boss battle isn't gonna cut it.
>>750678It wins by 3.And squishes the barbarian with many hats.But the good news is since it's not Brock, you can cast revive on the barbarian
>>750698it was a philosophicalquestion really.
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>750703HATSWE'RE GONNA REVIVE YOUGO MESSIAH, REVIVE HIM
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>750703revive barb
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>750703Have holy bones assimilate his bones to his body to gain powah. It's what he would have wanted
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>750703RISE AGAIN STRONGER, BROTHER BARBARIAN!
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>750703Everyone distract the demon while messiah revive the barb
Rolled 81 (1d100)>>750712Nigger its not the final battle yet that can wait>>750703REVIVE
>>750703question are there any remains of wanpan? can we cyborg him or is he just a puddle.
>>750712Who is this Holy Bones you speak of>>750725A smear, more like
>>750727nigga, just revive hats
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>750727you are enjoying my sarrow aren't you.>>750725revive barbarian
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>750725he's just a puddle now BO, there's nothing we can do. Best case scenario, the Love-Love Orc Chan Spin Off will finally give us Orcs a good adventure. We barely have any named Orcs other than Wang and Dick from last last thread and they weren't really popular. Fred is vehemently Pro-Brock.>>750727FUCK. I meant Hooded Bones, for some reason I thought he was renamed to Holy Bones
>>750735I was asleep for that thread.
>>750735>100Dice God wat. Who's going to sing dank ballads now?
>>750735Well then that's totally your fault then you silly person
>>750733Thanks for trying
Rolled 55 (1d100)>>750746Now kick that golem's ass, with STRONK BONEZ!
>>750749at least it wasn't me.
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>750746before we proceed to this scene. Let's cut to wherever Wan Pan's soul is first, because clearly Dice God is blessing me with high rolls
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>750746hooded bones punch
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>750756Preparing to punch Even Bigger Brock Spawn!Roll 2d100Even Bigger Brock Spawn gets a +20 bonusYou get a +10 hyped bonus and a Stronk Bones +10 bonusSo basically both bonuses cancel eachother out and should not be counted for this round
Rolled 81, 66 = 147 (2d100)>>750760HUZZAH!
Rolled 66, 51 = 117 (2d100)>>750760
Rolled 96, 59 = 155 (2d100)
If any of you manage to fuck this up then i don'y know what to say
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>750760Bones! Bones!Hoooooooooded Bones! Hoy! Hoy! Hoy!>>750777He is your new goddamn hat!
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>750777Assimilate the skele-giant and gain its power.Only by understanding our enemy, we may win.Our holiness will cleanse its corruption
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>750777make a bad severed head pun
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>750792Revive headless corpse and see what happensHe should become a good(?) undead right?
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>750792>>750785
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>750792Onward!
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>750792dance the dance of your people
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>750796
>>750798You continue onwards.AND NOW, TO PAD OUT THE RUNNING TIME, WE CUT TO COMMERCIALS"HEY STEVE!""YEAH FRANK?!""YOU EVER FEEL LIKE YOUR SCALY BUTT IS INCREDIBLY SORE? OR IN EXTREME PAIN?!""WELL NOW THAT YOU MENTIONED IT, I DO! FROM ALL THE SPIKES AND PHALLIC FRUITS SHOVED UP MY ASS""THEN WHAT YOU NEED IS DRAGON-BRAND ASS CREAM! GUARANTEE TO MAKE YOUR BUTTHURT GO AWAY!""WOW!"
>>750812"Those are some cheap sock puppets, Merve." A goblin says to an elf.
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>750812cut to Orcs in their natural habitat
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>750812You know, sometimes i feel cold and emotionless...*black drink falls into my hand*Hey, what's this?*i take a sip*Oh, it's slurpy-loop! A delicious drink with caffeine and benzodiazepine!Sometimes it gets you up,Other times, it gets you down.Then you feel the shivers coming, and you want more!Slurpy-loop: could cause heavy addiction
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>750812save the orcs commercial
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>750812>>750814
>>750816Warning, Slurpy-loop may cause itching,vertigo,dizziness,tingling in extremities,loss of balance or coordination,slurred speech,temporary blindness, profuse sweating,heart palpitations., diarrhea, deafness, muteness, cancer, sore throats, syphillis, AIDS,you thinking you can take on the world, seizures, brain tumors, inflamed internal organs, rupturing of blood vessels and ache in the knees. Consult your doctor before drinking Slurpy-loop.OR NOT! BUY SOME TODAY!
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>750831Do the gobbo commercial next
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>750831Slurpy-loop: the only legit elf-made drink!An MC Herbalist favourite!Get some today!
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>750831Some Barbs followed Barb with many Hats' example and made a new teeth and bone whitening product! ColdGate!
>>750833"Hmmm? Ooh, hello, didn't see you there, hmmm. How many times have you heard this? How many times have you had your unfortunately smaller than average stature be used to mock you? Hmm hmm, oerhaps, too many times. Perhaps, you have a rage boiling deep inside of you. A hatred for the all the tall people who dared to laugh at you. To mock you. A rage so strong that IF YOU COULD HARNESSED IT IT COULD POWER A MILLION SUNS, WHICH ARE THEN USED TO BURN THE TALL ASSHOLES WHO HAVE MADE YOUR LIFE SO MISERABLE INTO NOTHING!!!!......ahem, but you should not use that rage to do such rash things my friends. What you should do is channel that anger into your studies, become an intellectual! Like me! So come on down to NitzyWitz School For the Vertically Challenged and become the genius you've always meant to be! Enroll today!"
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>750854Now do an evangelical commercial about Orcs asking people to convert to the one true Religion.
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>750854Man did the screen just get shorter?
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>750854You fuckin' liar!WE KNOW THAT THING IN YOUR WINE GLASS ISN'T WINE!WE KNOW YOU'RE DRINKING SLURPY-LOOP!WE WANT THE TRUTH!FREEDOM TO THE PEOPLE!
>>750281o no i is dedy u do dis
>>750868Because fuck you that's why
>>750868I am dead too, friend.
>>750868>Orc Quest Part Deux never ever forever ever
>>750873You are not dead.You are merely part of a greater being.
>>750879Unless you remember to revive him.He's dead Jim.
>>750879Hats was a warrior! He is pleased he is used in battle!
>>750882unlike wanpan, who was a shield for an orc card game...
>>750881Dunno if that's possible>>750882Yeah, all barbarians love being used.Because they're gay.Ayyyyy. pls laugh at my jokes
>>750862"WHat the?! GET THAT ADDICT OUTTA HERE! GET HIM OUTTA HERE!""THE TRUTH MUST FLOW! LIKE SLURPY LOOP AND ITS DELICIOUS GOOEY GOODNESS! THE TRUTH MUST--"[bzzzzzt]"...And now we are here to see the Orc in his natural enviroment. Usually docile creatures, you should take care to never agitate one by saying things like "your waifu a shit" and...""!!!!""Crikey! He heard me! Y----"[bzzzt]
>>750887becareful, your elf rep may be next.
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>750888in the arrrrms of the angel
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>750888>Trips and another dead barbarianNoice.We may as well have the broadcast get hijacked for a bit.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>750888Watch orc-chan! <3
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>750889>NaP>Ever killing a child protagonist permanentlyThere aren't even any elves in this here quest unless they somehow got Elf Prince up in there for some reason.
>>750899I thought there was one here
>>750901nope, Elf Prince Quest got cut off short so he never got an excuse to join the Brock Killing Team
>>750901Nope.All the elves besides ElfMom and ElfKid are still slaves.And ElfKid is gonna be a hazard when Civ Thing 2 rolls around eventually.>>750903I thought he was learning advanced demon summoning / necromancy while this finale is happening.
>>750905nope, most likely we'll play him to tie over with Barb Mom's ending. And maybe resolve wharever happened to the Skellies.
>>750896[bzzzt]"Greetings sheeples. Do not be alarmed. There is nothing wrong with your TV. We are merely in control now. We are the Followers of Salt. We have come to you with a message. Prepare yourself. For the day of culinary reckoning is at hand. None will b--""WASSUP HERETIC""Oh shit"
>>750919>A goddamn paladin with a holy chainsaw gauntlet
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>750919ICE CREAM WATERFALL
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>750919The screams of cultists are broadcasted all over the kingdom as propaganda
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>750919fuck it, let's go watch superior far eastern broadcasting instead.
>>750919Salt Demons are rampant! Why has our King abandoned us? Why is there only a handful of elves not enslaved?! Tune in next time on Brocks News!
>>750919Is there any other non heretical barbs aside from Hat Guy?
>>750923"Hey. Looking for a nice, relaxing and also delicious vacation? Why don't you come down and visit us here at The Ice Cream waterfall? The magical waterfall the has icecream instead of water with its falvour changing every hour! We look forward to your visit. Find us down by the pancake mountains right next to the chocolate caverns"
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>750944now back to our show
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>750944Whenever a cultist watches this commercial, his brain melts and drips out of his nose.
>>750948"Psst, that's what slurpy-loop is made out of by the way""NO IT ISN'T""It totally is"
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>750959return us to our scheduled show please
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>750959raid the fridge mom's not home
>>750962[bzzzt]".....and that's how the dinosaurs died""woah"
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>750971What about those dinosaurs over there?
what the fuck even is this thread
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>750971Did they get raped in the butt like the dragons did?
>>750977"No no no, that's an exclusive dragon thing. Anyway, let us continue"
Rolled 66 (1d100)>>750982ONWARDS!
>>750983And so you face Biggest Brock Spawn
Rolled 87 (1d100)>>750997GIGA HOLY METEOR DRILL BREAKER!
Rolled 39 (1d100)>>750997Nah. Lets skip that faget.King, got this?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>750997Oh noNegociate
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>751001Surely nothing can go wrong Roll 2d100Biggest Brock Spawn gets a +40 bonusYou get a +20
Rolled 62, 13 = 75 (2d100)>>751017
Rolled 76, 83 = 159 (2d100)>>751017PIERCE THE HEAVENS
Rolled 72, 98 = 170 (2d100)>>751017
>>751023The dice smiles upon you this time
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>751032Since we blew his head offCan we use his body as a giant mechanical demon mech?
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>751032aww yissh
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>751032RIP AND TEAR IT LIMB FROM LIMB!
>>751033"No"Then Brock blows up the demon so you can't use it
Rolled 1 (1d100)>>751043Holy Meteor into Brock's mouth!
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>751043well ladsit's time for the final boss battleCOME ON BROCK, YA WUSS
>>751046Nigga stop you're gonna get another protag killed.
Rolled 649, 79, 563, 865, 799, 74, 435, 787, 449, 199 = 4899 (10d1000)>>751046"Again you foolishly try to resist me? Very well, go ahead. Sacrifice another of you to feed my ever growing power"Roll 1d100. You ahve a +20 bonus
Rolled 17 (1d100)>>751065I BELIEVE IN THE ALMIGHTYHE'LL SAVE US
Rolled 99 (1d100)>>751065We should sing a rap to Almighty so he'll give is a holy God mech to fuck Brock with.
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>751065use orc diplomacy
>>751069"yeah sure, get back to me when that happens. BUt for now, I'll be taking this tiny soul"Goblin Rider, is dead.
Oh boy the same fucking guy got another goddamn protag killed.
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>751081Hooded Bones feels the energy of the Orc, Gob and Barb obsorb into his being. Powering himself up as he rages at the fall of his comrades!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>751081Phew. Just another dead manlet protagonist. Have the king and his brother go in for the sides and Dragon messiah to attack head on.
Rolled 68 (1d100)>>751081Start rapping to Almighty.Maybe he'll help us kill this faggot
>Another party member dedWhat the fuck guys
>>751095same dude is doing it
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>751081What if the reason we can't revive them is because they're not really dead, and they're actually going to throw us a SURPRISE PARTY
>>751092"Oh no, my one weakness!....Pfffthahaha, sure. If your prayers can even reach his ears, hahaha."Then Brock disappears back into his throne room, behind the huge door. Laughing to himself for the fact that he put up an anti-prayer barrier
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>751101where do our heroes souls go then?
Rolled 92 (1d100)>>751101Decipher the runes
>>751097Is he an elf or a barb?An elf probably since they have nothing to lose for this session
Rolled 52 (1d100)Anyone here good at rap? MC is the only one I know who can give a reliable song.>>751101Catapult Paladins at it
>>751106He eats themThis was in the first dragon thread with the messiahHe just gets more powerful from death.AKA YES GETTING PEOPLE KILLED MAKES THIS SHIT HARDER
>>751112I can do a semi decent rap
>>751109who knows it's an anon who keeps trying to piss off the main villian before we even get there. so it seems our deaths are fucling us worse because of one anon.
>>751108"....hmm, these runes says "ur a faget--damnit"
>>751109I'm sure it's not an elf. There's only two pla->>751116Oh hi. I'm sure rap will aid us since Brock is also a god of metal and hates all things Elf.
>>751097Is it a stale joke when i say its Canons fault?>>751101Anti prayer barrier also cuts him from his own powers... theoretically
Rolled 58 (1d100)>>751118mean while with in the gullet of souls Brock has devoured
>>751122can't really say it's stale if it turns out to be true.
Rolled 30 (1d100)>>751118> Obviously we need a much greater power boost in order to fight the big bad. Heroes: Locate holy artifacts...
>>751123"hrrm" - Kobold Goddess
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>751135Messiah, pray to Kobold Goddess for helpshe gave us a drill before
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>751135wanpan interjects
>>751120Something like this?>The time has come, the final hour>The time to end this evil power.>With Almighty at our back>He will not stop this fierce attack>Brock may think that he has won but we'll rock him to kingdom come.>We'll break his bones and beat him down>And break that skull he calls a crown.>It's time for him to kiss his ass goodbye>Now it's about time we go GATTAI!Then god mech.Is this good?Or does it need more?
>>751137"C-can't reach her. I can sense her...but it's faint..."
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>751153Ask if Tree God is in there>>751152This works
Rolled 93 (1d100)>>751153YOU CAN REACH HERYOU'RE BOUND BY BLOODDON'T ABANDON YOUR FAMILY
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>751153>Need power-up. More than any training montage can provide. Find magical deus-ex-maguffin to give heroes power-up...
>>751153did you miss my 90 or was that too late of a post
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>751166tch tch tch6 seconds too late
>>751158Hmmm nope, no signal whatsoever
>>751174Use this rap>>751152To summon the Golden Almighty Paladin Mech variant for us to pilot.
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>751174check if you get cable though
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>751174Well we gotta find a way to fight 10d1000s within the next 300 posts
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>751174That means he's not in Brock's gullet. Tree God is totally better then Brock
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>751174>>751175Forgot to roll.>>751177>Inb4 shitty Spanish soaps.
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>751174> Well. We can either stupidly charge the god again, and lose another hero pointlessly, or we can leave, get stronger and come back. I vote for the latter...
>>751180It means he's been completely digested
>>751182you don't need cable for that
>>751177"What's a cable"
Rolled 14 (1d100)>>751174Remember to resurrect hats barb. Bless our weapons to imbue them with holy might and spicy powers.
Rolled 32 (1d100)>>751190never mind, sniff for some god defeating artifacts
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>751190>>751179
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>751190Oh look. Salt Demons....wut
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>751190> Seriously, we can't win this fight. We either need to get much stronger, or we need to weaken the big bad DRAMATICALLY...
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>751190Damn, posted too late. Fall back, remember to resurrect hats barb. Bless our weapons to imbue them with holy might and spicy powers of WanPan.
>>751185I would argue against this because your the QM and I don't want to appear like a stupid barbarian. Although if the God of the forest is dead does that mean plants, animals and nature in general is suffering a blight?
>>751195What salt demons
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>751206See what the Paladins are doing
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>751206hey did any of you guys find something that could add to the plot in our favor?
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>751206Ask the Super Mustache Bros for advice on beating a 10d1000
>>751203He's a god of A Forest. Not All the Forests.
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>751206> Big Bad's power source is presumably devouring other gods. You cannot stop him from doing that. Find a way to make yourselves stronger...
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>751206Hold a holy seance to ask the digested soul of WanPan for advice on how we can overcome Brock. Also revive barbs. We're running out of guys, and he's the only one not Godsquashed.
>>751211"Well when facing a final boss that is much, much more overleveled than you. The most straightforward solution is to grind alot until you're at a suffcient level""Something like going on an adventure that would last more than 20 parts or something""Buuut, currently we don't have that much time. So our best bet is to get our prayers to God""Which means we need to find a way to disable Brock's anti-prayer barrier""If I remember correctly, this heretical abomination of a tribal deity got this powerful by eating other tribal deities""Which means that this barrier of his must be powered by his newly acquired powers""So if we can disrupt that, we may ahve a chance for the Almighty to notice what this asshole's doing and rek him""But how?""Well if he eats them then he gotta be storing them in his stomache""Ah, so if we can get someone powerful enough, perhaps someone with divine heritage, to climb inside his stomach and give him a bad case of indigestion, we may succeed""But do we know anybody like that?"
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>751246Do this >>751152Also we could send dragon messiah as bait.
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>751246>It's either dragon Messiah or smiling son. And we are not sacrificing I mean asking a child. So dragon Messiah. Then we can rap/pray
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>751246So everyone on standby to pray for when more protag murder happens?
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>751246>>751252I vote for both of them to cram themselves down his gullet!
>>751253"Pffft, no. We still ahve to smack him around and distract him. Hopefully also weakening him, no matter how small of an effect that is""At least until we can have him opening up his mouth so we can shove our hero in""Plus if we never engage him directly and just mess around him but just so happens to hit him, "accidentally", it doesn't count as being in combat and he can't make rolls"
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>751269We could pray for Dice God to not allow for Brock to Counter roll for one or two turns
Rolled 63 (1d100)>>751269Ask the king and his brother if they're of divine lineage. They seem pretty powerful for mortals.
>>751274"Nah""We just level grind alot""From birth"
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>751295If thats the case shouldn't you be able to kick Brocks ass if your such a high level?
>>751300"Hmmm, maybe we should be the ones that do it.""Yes, can't see anything wrong happening"
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>751304No wait I remember now you guys got plot importance later on.We gotta hide all the Civ Thing crap before we start overlapping with the future.
>>751324Kingslayer and Adventure Thing
>>751332If only I had the time to look through those stories
>>751334Well the other option is having Brock get powered up by either the King or Merc which isn't gonna help anyone.
>>751307"Ah yes, the future""What if there are many branches of the future, many timelines and we're simply in one of those?""Maybe there's even a timeline where none of this has happened""Or maybe the future's set in stone and nothing we do can change it""Maybe no matter what happens, no matter how we change history, accidentally or not, the timeline would correct itself?"
>>751342See what the Paladins are doing>>751339I don't know what to do Besides post rap videos[/spoilerhttps://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WeYsTmIzjkw
Rolled 25 (1d100)>>751342Check in on the Paladins>>751345I think everyones a little burnt out right now.
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>751342Aaannnd... now something entirely different!
>>751349Alright. WOAH HEY! Imma tired now so we'll finish this up later, I jsut dont know when! kthnxbyeUpdates; https://twitter.com/notapaladin
>>751359So after we defeat Brock and finish this thread, we're starting civ thing 2 or is it something else?Also are there potentially hundreds if not thousands of Tree/Forest Gods in this world?
>>751366The answer to both of those question is : Who knows
>>751366We're probably gonna do either a late halloween one or something different.
>>751366Conqueror quest had the second highest vote count. So prolly that
>>751369Wow. Thanks for being so gosh darn informative OP.
>>751375Can you post a link to the straw poll or post a pic of how ever we voted? I don't remember it.
>>751387Just look at NaPs twitter feed, scroll back a month or two. I just remember bizarre shit.>>751382Can elf kid be the protag for conqueror adventure instead of a spoiler hazard for civ 2?I know you enjoy salt, but leave some mystery, man!
>>751387http://www.strawpoll.me/11186067>Nearly two months
Once we do finish civ thing aftermath, shouldn't we hold a new poll? One that's 2 months old might not be the most accurate.
>>751345Damn, i was gonna post that song when the right time came.Well, might as well make it the elf theme song!
>how to defeat BrockOh boy this is gonna get ugly. Even Dragon Hitler would be proud at how shit it will be
oogah boogah where da fuckable non-humans atso will OP continue today? He twitted that he will
Currently hungry, will go get some food. Then thread will continue
where's OP at
Alright who's here
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>752421punch self in face, OP
Rolled 71 (1d100)>>752421Do not punch self in the face with fistbut punch self on the fist with face
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>752425self, punch op in the face
>>752426Sorry, you cant control NPCs
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>752427reeeeereturn us back to our regularly scheduled program then, OP
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>752427curse at OP
Rolled 46 (1d100)>>752432okay, now punch selves in faces
Rolled 51 (1d100)>>752432then curse at your enemies
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>752437beat em up
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>752439Roll 2d100
Rolled 32, 28 = 60 (2d100)>>752440"Your waifus are shit, by the way"
Rolled 62, 80 = 142 (2d100)>>752440
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>752446now, punch self in face for your victory
Rolled 37 (1d100)>>752446piss on their corpse to insult Brock
>>752447Wow, only 2 fucks participating. Too slow today, may have to postpone again
Rolled 26 (1d100)>>752449You've gotta go faster, OPShow us a preview of Love-Love Orc-Chan the anime
Rolled 40 (1d100)>>752449pray to god for more fucks
>>752452Nope, no fucks are given. See ya later, bye bye
Rolled 42 (1d100)>>752453call a guy called OP a fagget, for no reason
Rolled 64 (1d100)>>752453OP, you faggotcome back here and run the adventure
>>752456Can't run with only 2 people
Rolled 94 (1d100)>>752457other people will be here, just keep runninga side adventure maybewhile we wait for the main adventure
>>752459Nah I'd rather go play video games
>>752462What type of video games?
Yeah what kind of game
>>752510>>752511The adventures of Sir Kicksalot in The Land of Conviniently Placed Spikes
>>752522Sounds like a shitty game.How are the reviews?
Hello, I am here now...What are we doing?
>>752544Waiting for death.Or more than 1 person participating. Hands up, who's here?
>>752531Huh, i remembered Dark Messiah having better reviews...>>752544Nothing, at the moment
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>752546here
Rolled 8 (1d100)>>752546hoi
Alright, so wegot possibly 4 peoples currently. Wow, that's double the number before! So are we doing this
>>752557I am ready when you are OP...
>>752557I'll be here in half an hour or so.An elf's gotta eat.
>>752557everyone get on the rapetrain... tschuuu tschuuu
Alright, let's return to where we left off: Face punching
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>752570grind brock's spawns
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>752570let's forge a battle plan
Rolled 5 (1d100)>>752570Let's use the plan that the King came up with
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>752576> Grind harder...
Rolled 7 (1d100)>>752576Nice cheap puns you got there, OP.Now do a reverse kickflip on that fucker
>>752576zaapp zapp zuung
Rolled 91 (1d100)>>752581HARDER!
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>752581we slip and crash through the door because we spin so hard
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>752587HARDER, UNTIL THIS IMMATERIAL REALM CANNOT SUSTAIN OUR GRIND!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>752587sing a song
Rolled 78 (1d100)>>752587> You grind so hard that you compromise the integrity of the entire room's floor. All of the heroes begin falling into a bottomless pit...
>>752588"You're just gonna hurt yourself if you do that"
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>752597Don't tell us what to do.You said it yourself.We gotta grind to beat Brock.
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>752597well, how much XP did we getdid we level up?
>>752597load up the viedo of that sick trick to jewtube, we gotta monetize our skills because adventuring is not paying well anymore
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>752597>>752604god fucking damn it, when will i learn to not forget the dice?
>>752601"Grind for levels, not doing sick grinding tricks"
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>752607grind for levels thenlike no one did before
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>752607Grind off of killing Brock's mobs then
Rolled 54 (1d100)>>752607let's build a mobfarm for faster grinding
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>752607Pretty sick tho, wasn't it?Now we start level-grinding!And try to find something the brock-spawn are particulairly weak to.Maybe Brock will be weak to that too.
Rolled 12 (1d100)>>752607> Grind for level. Grind until you are lousy with levels!
>>752610"There's no time. The longer we take, the more power Brock will gather in his incredibly edgy throne room""And by the time you obtained enough levels to beat a god, he'd destroyed the world already""Which is why we're gonna try the plan of jumping inside his gullet to tear out any gods he may still not have absorbed fully yet to weaken him enough that The Almighty can notice past his barrier and rek him"
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>752607Revive the two hat barb that died
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>752620>Attempt to smash apart the dark runes sealing the door...
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>752620do that thenand that in meanwhile >>752625
Rolled 24 (1d100)>>752620that's a stupid plan. throw a tantrum because you rather want to grind
Rolled 16 (1d100)>>752620Fine.Time for before-the-final-battle preparation!BUFFS ALL AROUND!
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>752620>>752625Shit I was late, quick shoehorn this here instead!>>752628>my nigga
>>752629"Calm him down"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>752638calm downlet's go with the plan
Rolled 34 (1d100)>>752637Dood, the two hat barb has been absorbed by Hooded Bones.I don't think he can be revived.>>752631>>752638
Rolled 15 (1d100)>>752638come up with an improved plan yourself. it should involve snails.
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>752638>Attempt to smash apart the dark runes sealing the door. Enter the throne room...
>>752641Well he can, just needs to remove his bones from hooded bones first
>>752639Alright, first step, breaking down the gate
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>752646What's the runes say, nigga
Rolled 65 (1d100)>>752646Nah nah nah1- revive two-hats barb2- buff ourselves.3- Mega-meteor-drill to the door
Rolled 77 (1d100)>>752646>Attempt to smash apart the dark runes sealing the door...Pffft!
Rolled 57 (1d100)>>752646fart at it, that will let it disintegrate
>>752647"It says ur a faget"
Rolled 80 (1d100)>>752660throw that skeleton paladin at the door
Rolled 75 (1d100)>>752660That is what the last door said. Brock is losing ideas!What if we get an arena barb here and sacrifice the fag to open the door?
Rolled 60 (1d100)>>752660>Attempt to smash apart the dark runes sealing the door...
Rolled 90 (1d100)>>752662"It's what it actually sayyyyyy"Now roll 2d100 to defeat door>>752666It's the same door
Rolled 97, 47 = 144 (2d100)>>752668nigga please, you forgot the image
>>752668Whoops, forgot pic
Rolled 61, 21 = 82 (2d100)>>752670gg, OPgonna reroll cause this is the official one
Rolled 18, 91 = 109 (2d100)>>752670Rolling...
Rolled 36, 46 = 82 (2d100)>>752670buuuuuuurst
Rolled 48, 38 = 86 (2d100)Lets see if mobile actually wants to let me roll.
>>752673Wow it's even worse
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>752681Throw Dragon Messiah at it
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>752681Have an elf skeleton make a holy ent and pry it open
Rolled 56 (1d100)>>752681>>752654
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>752682Roll 2d100You get a Big Dragon bonus of +5
Rolled 87, 85 = 172 (2d100)>>752685for you
Rolled 19, 12 = 31 (2d100)>>752685let's try
Rolled 68, 22 = 90 (2d100)>>752685Rolling...
>>752686The door is opened
Rolled 41 (1d100)>>752691oh shit niggalet's commence the plan
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>752691Send in the Paladins
Rolled 61 (1d100)>>752691> Onwards! Stop down the shadows! Drive them back!
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>752694The tower is filled with Brock spawns! A squad blocks your path! Roll 2d100 to break through and continue advancing!
Rolled 14, 60 = 74 (2d100)>>752701ez
Dice God smiles upon youSo please, don;t fuck this up
Rolled 31, 93 = 124 (2d100)>>752701Rolling...
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>752715KEEP GOINGGET EVEN MORE HYPED
Rolled 74 (1d100)>>752715Onwards!And for the love of the amighty, cast some buffs on ourselves
Rolled 3 (1d100)>>752715Strut forward in style
Rolled 88 (1d100)>>752715> Our heroes burst into Brock's throne room. They nightmarish spectacle they witness within stills their hearts for a moment...
>>752722OH MY GOD HE'S EATING STEAK WITH KETCHUPOh and there's also the fact that he's sitting upon his throne of darkness, feasting upon the souls of any dead, collected using his Soul Well
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>752729We will steel ourselves against this demon!Our plan will not fail!CHAAAAAAAARGE!!!
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>752729STICK TO THE PLAN
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>752729The vile fiend!...> Heroes: Commence operation Forced-Vore...
Rolled 35 (1d100)>>752729Stick to plan. Moustache Bros! Distract!
>>752732"Right, let us disperse and cause various painful distractions""BUt just to be clear, who's jumping into his stomache to rip out the source of his increased powers from the inside?"
wait, our plan is to cheese this boss fight like filthy savescum?
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>752729Ask if he can share the steak
Rolled 53 (1d100)>>752736Dragon Messiah, he's gotta reunite with his sister
Rolled 49 (1d100)>>752736>Have the dragon lead the distraction party. Have an elf, or something, climb into Brock's stomach...
>>751359OP's back and so am I. Is Wan Pan still dead?
Rolled 100 (1d100)>>752745>>752736Reeeeeeunite, send Dragon Messiah in
Rolled 89 (1d100)>>752745Cut away to an interview with Brock's actor
Rolled 98 (1d100)>>752745Dragon Messiah asks to be reunited with his sister inside his stomach
>>752746And so the battle commencesStill looking for the correct moment to send D.Messiah in
Rolled 43 (1d100)>>752752fast forward to correct moment
Rolled 38 (1d100)>>752752THIS IS FOR WAN PANDISTRACT THEM
Rolled 97 (1d100)>>752752For Hat Guy!
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>752752> Heroes: Focus on hit-and-run tactics. Don't let Brock get a focus on you...
>>752754"Look! THis is our chance! Quick! Dragon Messiah! Do it!"
Rolled 44 (1d100)>>752764> Commence Operation Force-Feeding-Vore...
Rolled 2 (1d100)>>752764Do it dragon messiah!
Rolled 10 (1d100)>>752764Channel Green Skin Weeaboo Energy and Be the Drill That Will Pierce The Heavens and fucking swan dive inside that mouth like a majestic eagle
Rolled 76 (1d100)>>752768WhooooahRoll 2d100
Rolled 50, 37 = 87 (2d100)>>752776THIS YOUR TIME TO SHINE, MESSIAH!
Rolled 37, 23 = 60 (2d100)>>752776
Rolled 83, 91 = 174 (2d100)>>752776Rolling...
Rolled 8, 84 = 92 (2d100)>>752776I'M COMING, SISTER
>>752780So...That is good right?...My understanding is:1st number = must be higher than all other players to be chosen2nd number = must be higher than OP's roll to succeed
>>752780Success!Now you can either:Switch control to Dragon MessiahKeep control of the outside party and wait for him to succeed
Rolled 86 (1d100)>>752786> Switch control to Dragon Messiah
Rolled 22 (1d100)>>752786>>752787switch to D.Messiah
Rolled 36 (1d100)>>752786Initiate holy draconic control
Rolled 79 (1d100)>>752786switch to dragon messiah
>>752787You are now Dragon messiah. Traversing the dark void that is Brock's power devouring stomache. Your mission: Free your sister so Brock'd lose a portion of his powers
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>752794nigga, it's dark in hereuse your holy eyes to light up the area
>>752794Use holy light to guide us.Holy shit, it's dark in here.
Rolled 96 (1d100)>>752794> Dragon: Try to use your innate connection to your sister to ascertain her location...
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>752798Fug
>>752800Alright, she's thattaway
Rolled 59 (1d100)>>752809SAVE HER QUICKLYBEFORE SHE GETS DEVOURED
Rolled 69 (1d100)>>752809I need a heeeerooooooooI need a hero before the morning liiight!
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>752809find her with the help of some old ghost friends
>>752812Watch out! Brock's blood can take the form of demons to protect his internal organs! THese Blood Spawns now block your path!
Rolled 18 (1d100)>>752809Head thattaway, while trying to void swim cause spoopy void stomach
Rolled 33 (1d100)>>752818Holy dragon fire will cleanse them all!
Rolled 84 (1d100)>>752818>Move towards your sister with all haste. Destroy any resistance with extreme abhorrence...
Rolled 73 (1d100)>>752818cast Smite
Rolled 21 (1d100)>>752823Roll 2d100The Blood Spawns get a +50 bonusYou get a +20 bonus for being holy and hyped
Rolled 16, 88 = 104 (2d100)>>752825
Rolled 23, 49 = 72 (2d100)>>752825Rolling...
Rolled 5, 97 = 102 (2d100)>>752825Damn son
Rolled 56, 89 = 145 (2d100)>>752825
>>752830That might just do it...Nobody else roll...
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>752830WOOP WOOP WHO SAVED DRAGON MESSIAH. I DID.
>>752828Ooooh, so close>>752833IT was 34 seconds too late
Rolled 82 (1d100)>>752836Big Brother Buff!
Rolled 83 (1d100)>>752836y u do dis OP. Use Dragon Rage
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>752836>Curl your body around the attacking entity. Tear it to bloody ribbons by ripping into it with your fore and hind claws...
/qst/ is loading slow as shit today
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>752842Roll 2d100The Blood Spawns get a +50 bonusYou get a +25 bonus for being holy and angry
Rolled 71, 87 = 158 (2d100)>>752853
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>752853
>>752855Nobody else roll!
Rolled 19, 4 = 23 (2d100)>>752853
Rolled 20 (1d100)>>752863good, keep going in.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4P63p7C674
Rolled 95 (1d100)>>752863> Do not give it a chance to reform! Quickly, make to your sister with all haste!
Rolled 41, 64, 35 = 140 (3d100)>>752865Even more abominations emerge from the dark void! Now there're 3 of them!Roll 4d100The Blood Spawns get a +50 bonus (per number)You get a +20 bonus for being holy and hyped (per number after the first one)
Rolled 25, 39, 85, 77 = 226 (4d100)>>752872https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xSGFgGiumM
Rolled 64, 14, 32, 59 = 169 (4d100)>>752872
Rolled 8, 88, 42, 84 = 222 (4d100)>>752872
Rolled 84, 74, 37, 88 = 283 (4d100)>>752872rip and tear
Rolled 65, 54, 26, 26 = 171 (4d100)>>752872Rolling...
Rolled 95, 74, 13 = 182 (3d100)>>752876dangitNow they're on the attack!Roll 4d100The Blood Spawns get a +50 bonus (per number)You get a +20 bonus for being holy and hyped (per number after the first one)
Rolled 21, 14, 90, 57 = 182 (4d100)>>752884Active Rosarius! The Emperor protects!
Rolled 74, 81, 58, 36 = 249 (4d100)>>752884>curse the dice godswelp, better get on with kicking ass
Rolled 12, 76, 29, 50 = 167 (4d100)>>752884that'll take awhile
>>752886Damn. You many need some support here.Options:- Continue attacking, hopefully the dice will favour you- Continue attacking, hoping the dice will favour you WHILE being enraged so you get another +5- Use paladin powers to contact your comrades from outside to have them buff you up- Use paladin powers to contact your comrades from outside to have them send another in here to help you
Rolled 47 (1d100)>>752889> - Use paladin powers to contact your comrades from outside to have them buff you up
Rolled 13 (1d100)>>752889>- Use paladin powers to contact your comrades from outside to have them send another in here to help youthiswe clearly have little chance to win against multiple foes while being alone cause dice god
>>752889roll (1d100)>Paladin powers ACTIVATE
Rolled 29 (1d100)>>752889>>752892>- Use paladin powers to contact your comrades from outside to have them send another in here to help youGetting someone into help is the best bet, can't allow them to be busy buffing us and be weaker!
>>752895fuck! i don't know how to roll
>>752898Dice+1d100 in the options field
Rolled 28 (1d100)>>752898put dice+1d100in the option field
>>752898Input the following into the OPTIONS field:dice+1d100
Rolled 67 (1d100)>>752900>>752902>>752900thanks!>comrades! i call upon you to aid me in not getting my ass kicked by blood
>>752891"The dragon requires assistance!""We too require assistance! Just the 4 of us can't hold Brock back for long! We need the rest of our brothers to get here!""Then we should start another Battle Hymn!"
Rolled 31 (1d100)>>752906do so
Rolled 11 (1d100)>>752906Smoke some hemp. It will help repel Brock
Rolled 27 (1d100)>>752906sing and include the words "we need some fucking help"
Rolled 6 (1d100)>>752906> Start Sacred Battle-hymnhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqbQ_oKmflM
>>752910Needs to be more dope. Rap is the antithesis of rock n roll which Brock is the god of iirc.
>>752912Mhm...How about this?...https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0V7aUT13qtM
>>752915I don't know. That thumbnail looks awfully Japanese and that's Orc territory.
Rolled 72 (1d100)>>752906Brothers!In formation!We require your salvation!The evil god is strong,So aid us through this song!We will cleanse this wretched world!We will claim it for our lord!Not for blood, not for gold,But for justice to be sold!TO BATTLE, DEUS VULT!Warped steel, broken bonesBruised skin, our blood flows,We push on, we prevailTO THE HEAVENS WE WILL SAIL!
>>752907"BY MOONLIGHT, WE RIDE! TEN THOUSAND SIDE BY SIDE!""WITH SWORDS DRAWN, HELD HIGH! OUR WHIPS AND ARMOUR SHINE!""HAL TO THEE, OUR INFANTRY! STILL BRAVE BEYOND THE GRAVE!""ALL SWORN TO THE ETERNAL VOW, THE TIME TO STRIKE, IS NOW!"This whole thread is basically an excuse for me to post my mp3 playlist
Rolled 70 (1d100)>>752906RA-RA-RASDRAGON, FIGHTER OF THE EVIL ONE.
Rolled 23 (1d100)>>752923Holy fire,Blinding light,The almighty is with us tonight.The end is near,Brothers be here,To demons we bring misery,WITNESS OUR VICTORY!