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Oh shit, son! It’s Back!
It’s The Island! The one thread quest where you die! A lot!
Pick your selection from the image attached, one choice per post, and generate us a character to fly or fall in spectacular fashion.
This is a rogue-like, so with each post roll a 2d10; the first is a priority roll (Who’s post gets picked), while the second is how successful you are in accomplishing your request. Three failed rolls in row will net you some serious penalties, and four in a row mean your death. Good luck.
Let’s get busy!
>>
>>772363
Stone Maze as dwelling. Seems Interesting as a place to rest
>>
The Hunter as a Companion.
>>
>>772363
>>772513
Speed things up if noone else is around.
Macrocell as an item and Transcendant as a nemesis
>>
Cause fucking /qst/ is a dead board, I'll allow samefaggotry.
Have we got any character traits for the PC?
>>
>>772603
Female, Athletic build, Used to run cross country.
Not Attractive, Not Ugly
Throw a few flaws in. Somewhat forgetful, and Hardheaded. Impatient.
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>>772663
Done and done. Getting to writing. This is your christmas present Jaqk.
>>
>>772663
The horrible thing about a Hen’s night is waking up the morning after. You’ve had a habit of either waking up on the floor or in the bed of a stranger. This particular morning you’ve found yourself with the former.
At least you can’t smell puke.
You groggily sit up and try to get a head on your surroundings. Ah fuck. That was a mistake. Everything is pain. Why can’t you bounce back like you used to?
Looking around you find yourself in a concrete corridor. You probably managed to get yourself backstage or something like that. At least no one’s seen you like this yet. Across the hall, you can see a big glyph carved in. It looks pretty. You should probably find your way back home, or to any of the other ladies, but staying right here for a while sounds like a nice idea.


Fuck finding pictures this time. You can get for me.
>>
Rolled 10, 4 = 14 (2d10)

>>772735
Do a few stretches, don't get up too fast. Once we don't hurt as much, inspect glyph closer.
>>
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>>772768
Phew. Let’s take this one step at time. You try out some of that recovery yoga your girlfriends taught you. You strike a Weeping Crane pose, and you tip headfirst into the wall.
You wanted to check out the Wall art, and now you get an extra fine opportunity to do so. Only, just before you hit it, it disappears, and you tumble into long grass.
What the fuck? Where are you? Peeping up you find yourself in a small glade surrounded by jungle. Hmm. This is one hell of a beer garden.

And I'll use this image to denote story updates, cause they look lonely otherwise.
>>
>>772363
Shit, you're alive
>>
Rolled 2, 9 = 11 (2d10)

>>772820
Call out, see if any of your friends are nearby. Check behind us, where we fell from.
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>>772876
You get a good look. It doesn’t look good. You’re alone in a jungle/garden. Maybe your friends haven’t all gone home yet? You call out;
“OY, JANINE YOU STUPID BITCH. WHERE ARE YOU?”

You turn around and are scared onto your ass when you come face to face with a moustachioed man.
“Madame, Are you all right?”

Turns out, I can't use the same image twice. What a bitch.

>>772855
Well, it's a full moon. Being dead's only fun for so long.
>>
Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d10)

>>772937
Stutter out an apology to the man. Ask him where we are at the moment.
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>>772964
“Jesus fuck shit, sorry.”
Smooth.
He gives you an unimpressed look, but doesn’t move or say, anything.
“Um. Yeah, I’m fine. I think. Where am I? I can’t find my way back to the bar…”
The man’s eyes narrow; You only now realize he’s wearing an old Khaki Explorers outfit. It doesn’t faze you very much, you just came from a fancy dress party, so did he.
“Madame, you’re on Doom Island. I’m not sure how you got here, but it likes to play tricks, so I can only assume you’re one of them. Please reveal your true monstrous form so that I may slay you forthwith.”
What?
>>
Rolled 2, 8 = 10 (2d10)

>>773049
carefully explain to him that we aren't sure what or where doom island is, or how we got here. Start backing away if things go south
>>
>>773095
“Doom Island? Huh? That sounds pretty serious.”
This guy is giving some pretty intense vibes all of a sudden.
“I’m not looking to trick you. I just want to go home. If you’ll let me, I think I can find my own way out of here…”
And with that you begin to walk away.
The Old Man sighs. “There’s no way off the Island, if you go that way you’ll die. If you go anywhere, you’ll probably die.”
Die? You begin to feel nervous and queasy. This guy might really be dangerous.
He outstretches his hand in a friendly gesture. “Come with me if you want to live.”
It’s at that point you see a really big bug crawling towards the pair of you.
>>
Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d10)

>>773174
Grab his hand, Point out the bug. EVASIVE ACTION
>>
Rolled 8, 9 = 17 (2d10)

>>773174
Take his hand then suddenly hide behind the old man,

>"Help me pls"
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>>773423
You take his hand and hide behind him. You then proceed to scream in an effeminate manner, as is your right as a damsel in distress.
It’s a very big bug. Like, the size of a person big. It doesn’t remain very big for long though, as it promptly combusts and explodes.
The Old Man stands there heroically, pointing the smoking barrel of a gun in the former bugs direction. If he weren’t old enough to be your father, you would swoon. The smell is bad enough to make you do so anyway, and you collapse against his leg. The scene could be taken out of a movie poster.

When you come back to the land of the living, you find yourself propped up against a sleeping camel. This disturbs you, but you’d rather not disturb it.
The Old Man is crouched nearby, setting up a… trap?
You feel like you just came out of a car crash; and considering you’re dressed up as Princess Diana, that feels appropriate.
You rub the back of your neck and find a big thick meaty thing that shouldn’t be there. Oh dear.
>>
Rolled 10, 9 = 19 (2d10)

>>773450
Thank the man for the save. Ask for tips on surviving. Ask him about how long he's been on the island and just about him in general.
>>
>>773467
“Um, Sir?”
You try to get his attention, and succeed; “Ah! You’re awake. Madame, I must ask you to not pass out in the future, this Island is a very dangerous place, hardly befitting a lady.”
A lady? You would complain if you could, but right now you have no idea what’s going on. Doom Island? What is this? What’s real? Who knows?
At this point, let’s just go with the flow; “Yeah, sorry about that. Bee in my bonnet. Thanks for earlier. That bug was…”
“That was no bug, that was a Chimera. It was only mostly insect, and it would have killed and absorbed you in a matter of seconds. They get smarter when they get a human, and they always become harder to kill when they get smarter. So it was in our mutual interest that you not fall to it.”
Okay… “Do you know how I got here? Who are you?”

The Old Man got up; “I don’t know. I don’t know how many things come to this island, only that the weak soon die. I’m unique in that I chose to come here, but that’s not something I wish to discuss. My name is Thomas. Sir Thomas if you must. Tom to my mother, Teddy to my friends, and Tommy to my wife. You are none of these, so please refer to me as Thomas, with or without the Sir. I don’t like repeating myself, but you will die on your own, and I have only one plan of getting home. It is dangerous. Your life will be at risk whether you choose to follow me or not.”
A lot to take in.
“What’s your plan?” You ask.
He gazes wistfully into the distance.
“To hunt a Dragon.”
>>
I'm going out for lunch now. On break for a bit.
>>
Rolled 5, 3 = 8 (2d10)

>>773596
Offer to help. Ask for spare weapons or anything he has on him so that he isn't our only form of protection. Ignore the neck lump for now
>>
Rolled 3, 5 = 8 (2d10)

>>773672
Same, but we should probably check out our neck. Probably without letting Thomas know about it.
>>
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>>773672
Well, you don’t fancy taking on any more of those bugs. Especially not if they want to eat and then wear your face. You should go with him.
Wait. What the fuck? Why are you accepting this? This makes no goddamn sense! And what the fuck is that thing your neck?
You grab it and accidentally fling it off. It lands on the ground right in front of you, but Teddy hasn’t seen it yet. It’s a big pink tumour looking thing. You recoil in disgust, but for some reason you fear Teddy finding it more. So you sit on it.
“I’ll help!” you blurt when he glances at you in confusion. “A Dragon, sure thing! What have you got to kill it?”
He grumbles and ponders it; “A lot of things, but most importantly, my wits.”
You interrupt; “Anything I can have?”
He frowns; “No.”
“Please, I’d like to be able to fend for myself.”
“No. For a million reasons, but most importantly because a lady has no business in dealing death… What are you sitting on?”
>>
Rolled 10, 4 = 14 (2d10)

>>774096
"N-nothing." Silently will it to disappear.
>>
Rolled 4, 2 = 6 (2d10)

Mentally command it to bond to your back underneath the dress and jump up screaming. Ham it up.
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Rolled 1, 6 = 7 (2d10)

>>775367
Backing, Ham it up.
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>>775012
You feel a brief pang of terror; you can’t let him find it. But at the same time you don’t want to make him distrust you. Oh fuck, how do you do this? You tuck your hands between your legs, trying to figure out what it is.
“N-nothing.”
He doesn’t believe you. Frowning even more than usual, he walks over; “Stand up.”
He’s just about to force you up himself when you blurt out; “I soiled myself!”

He hesitates, losing his composure for only a moment before straightening himself up; “Of course you did.”
He sighs dejectedly and grimaces; “I’ve only got spare men’s wear. It might be improper, but I won’t force you to continue on in such a condition, so you’ll have to wear trousers until we can wash your dress. We aren’t near a safe water source, so it might take a day or two.”
He goes up to the camel and rummages through one of its packs before pulling out a similar khaki explorers uniform. He hands it to you expectantly and you take it, but you have to motion for him to turn around. He complies by waiting behind a tree.
Having not actually pissed yourself, you stand up to inspect the tumour, only to find it gone. You frantically check yourself for it, but to no avail. Hoping you had just been imagining it, you change out of the Princess Diana costume and into the Khakis. It’s a bit big, but you expect it will be a welcome change.

Just as you finish, though, you hear Teddy shout; “MADAME! GET MY GUN!”
>>
Rolled 7, 3 = 10 (2d10)

>>776494
>Get the gun
>>
Rolled 3, 2 = 5 (2d10)

Get his gun and see if there's a small handgun or something we can conceal.
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>>777207
You drop the dress and run to the Camel, who for some reason is still sleeping. You open one of the packs and are shocked when you realize you can’t see the bottom; it’s just an endless void. You stick your arm in up to the shoulder, but don’t succeed in grabbing hold of anything.
Teddy bursts into the clearing, grappling with an exceptionally lanky... you think it’s human, but it’s far too tall. And it has the head of a featherless bird. Fucking terrifying.
You rummage further and grab hold of something. In a panic, you yank it out. It’s banana.
You throw it away and rummage again. This time it’s a teacup.
Third time’s a charm. A cane.
“THAT’S THE WRONG POUCH!”
Fuck.
Teddy’s putting up a pretty good fight though. He’s got the creature in a headlock. For a moment you wonder why he even needs a gun, then about 4 more of the creatures slink out from the shadows.
Teddy takes notice and looks at you, eyes pleading; “RUN!”
>>
Rolled 3, 9 = 12 (2d10)

Jam your hand in another sack.
Come oooon Shotgun!
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>>777327
Holy shit, fuck that. We're comin for ya Thomas! (Not gonna over-roll his 9)
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>>777402
You aren’t running. You ain’t no bitch.
Pick another pack and jam your hand in, this time pulling out a shotgun!
Great! How do you use a shotgun?
For the moment you decide to just point and shoot. The birdthings have you surrounded. And one is sprinting at full tilt towards. Fuck that.
You point and shoot.
The recoil sends you flying, slamming you right into the birdthing sneaking up behind you. You both get knocked to the ground, but you act quicker and pull the trigger again. This sends you tumbling away at a ninety-degree angle. The recoil on this thing is ridiculous.
You’re dizzy, but not hurt, so you stand back up to see that Teddy has disappeared, along with the all the birdthings. Silence descends.
Wait. What just happened?
>>
Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d10)

Let's check ammo and then just listen very closely.
>>
The dice god and I have a love hate relationship apparently
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>>778194
>>778219
It works though for me.
Just keep rolling high on the second number
>>
OP? Dad?
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>>778296
I can keep tabs on him in my Discord. He doesn't show up often but I can rely on him to show up at least once every 24 hours.
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>>778296
I went out for a pack of smokes.
There'll be fewer updates today, got stuff to do.
>>
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>>778194
Everyone is gone. Including the Camel.
You predict things are only about to get worse, so you take a good look at the gun in the hopes of reloading it. It looks like a spiky squid fucking a vacuum cleaner. Fortunately, you once watched a documentary on how to take care of a gun. Unfortunately, it didn’t cover weapons out of a fever dream.
You have no idea what part does what, but the trigger is in the right position. There’s also a crank on the side, so you start with that. The thing hums, so you assume that did the trick.
You listen carefully. There is silence. Looking around, the sandy clearing that was so frantic a moment ago is now quiet, apart from the soft crackling of the burning trees that were scorched in the firefight. On the ground is the Banana, Teacup and Cane you pulled out earlier, but otherwise nothing.
Some animal screeches in the distance, putting you on edge, but nothing happens.
>>
Rolled 1, 10 = 11 (2d10)

>>779661
eat the banana, Inspect the cane and teacup, Prepare to save Thomas.
>>
Not going to fuck with a nat 10
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>>779725
Wise decision
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>>779701
You’re hungry. It’s been 10 mins, you think. You don’t have a watch. So you wander over to the Banana and eat it. You feel the power of Potassium coursing through your veins.
While you eat, you check out the teacup. It looks valuable, with golden decals and rippled ceramics. You put it in one of your many pockets. Teddy might want it back when you find him.
The Cane is odd. It looks normal enough, but it’s lying on stone. A lone stone surrounded by sand. You pick it up and give it a twirl. You accidentally whack a low-hanging branch, and it shatters.
Huh?
You squeal and cower as small jagged pebbles shower down on you. Looking at said pebbles, you realize they’re shaped like leaves. Magic cane. Alright.

Now, to save Teddy.
You sling the Gun around your shoulder and whip the cane around. Through the trees, you realize you can see some mountains. Through another set of trees, you can see some more trees. You have no fucking clue what you’re doing.

Also, I'm out of relevant pictures, so here's a cute gril.
>>
Rolled 8, 8 = 16 (2d10)

Investigate the area for any tracks that look like Camel hooves or boot marks and follow. You watched a youtube video on tracking once.
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>>781327
You watched a YouTube video on tracking once. You weren’t really paying much attention at the time, but you think it involved holding a plastic bottle to the sun. Maybe.
Either way you’re lacking both those things, but you’ve got to try, damn it!
There are signs of your scuffle, but other than that, nothing that looks particularly useful.
Wait! What’s that? You hurry over to the edge of the clearing and find a footprint. It isn’t a Camels, but it does look suspiciously human. Maybe it’s Teddy?
You decide to follow it anyway. You head off in the direction the footprint was pointed.

20 minutes later, you find a table.
You are very confused by it. No one is seated in the accompanying chair, but beyond it lies a Tree stump with a suspiciously bottomless hole near the base, large enough for something to crawl through.
Considering the number of things you’ve seen crawl out of holes similar to that on your short journey here, you don’t fancy it.
You could carry on, but you lost your way a while back, and the chances of stumbling across the place you lost Teddy are slim.
Something will very obviously happen if you sit in the chair. Probably. At this point, you don’t know whether this is a bad trip or not.
>>
Rolled 5, 8 = 13 (2d10)

Set the teacup on the other end of the table to be a good host. Then take a seat but keep a grip on your cane and be ready to swing.
>>
>>781342
>Inb4 mad hatter shows up as a birdman
>>
I swear I'll post in a bit guys. /a/ Sings has got me really fucking busy right now.
>>
I love this too much to think about leaving the thread ir getting salty. I wish I could run something like this.
>>
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>>781342
You put the teacup on the end of the table. Why? Fuck if you know. A gift.
Then you take the seat at the end of the table. At first, nothing happens.
Then you hear noises coming from the hole in the stump. You fucking knew it! Out crawls a… That’s not a birdthing. You actually don’t know what it is. It’s like a guy got really lazy making a Halloween costume and just tore up a bunch of bed sheets to papier-mâché to himself. Or something. That analogy doesn’t really make much sense but this creature really doesn’t either.
Like a Shaggy Sheepdog made of Sheared Sheets.
Now you’re just thinking in alliterations. Accurate ones.
Fuck.
The thing takes a position at the end of the table, looks at the teacup and produces two teapots.
A few moments pass before you realize that the thing is waiting for you.
Does it want you to choose? Will it let you get up? What the hell is going on here?
>>
Rolled 2, 2 = 4 (2d10)

Insist it choose it's cup of tea first since you are the hostess after all.
>>
Rolled 8, 9 = 17 (2d10)

Chose tea on left. Don't drink right away, feign drinking if it expects you to.
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>>784174
Thank you kind stranger
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>>784174
You point to the teapot on the left.
The Creature pours a foul looking sludge into the teacup. Oh boy.
Then it eats it, teacup and all.
Thoroughly confused, you meet its gaze, and it explodes.
You flinch at the explosion, and look up to see the monsters skin/fur/paper? raining down like confetti. When you look back down you see find a teacup placed before you. It looks a lot like the teacup from earlier, but instead of porcelain and gold, it now looks like it’s made of chitin and polished wood.
The liquid inside looks a lot more like actual tea though.
You feel a piece of confetti brush your shoulder and shudder.
>>
Rolled 1, 10 = 11 (2d10)

Dip your finger in the tea then taste it. Also gather a couple scraps of the confetti maybe it's a Groot type thing and can reform later.
>>
Does this mean we get a groot? A weird paper groot?
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>>785201
You dip your finger in the tea and taste it. Don’t want to gulp it all down at once. It tastes like menthol.
Yum?
Oddly enough, you liked that paper thing, so you take a look at the scraps that are now collecting on the ground. They have a sticky texture too. A flash of inspiration crosses your mind and you begin collecting them, sticking them together. By the time you’re satisfied, you have a stack of them.
Maybe they’ll come in handy later, if you need to write a note or something.
Nothing of note happened when you drank the tea, but you don’t really fancy having to drink the whole thing.
You’re thinking about this when the sun goes dark for a moment, and the Jungle quietens down. For the first time in a while, you aren’t being assaulted by noise. After a few tense moments, nothing happens, but the silence is putting you on edge. Hopefully it was nothing.
What to do…
>>
Use the table as a shelter for the night. Use the remaining sticky paper bits as glue to make stick walls around the table. Tap it with the cane for a very small stone shelter. Then lets sleep and pray nothing comes to fuck us in the night.
>>
Rolled 2, 5 = 7 (2d10)

>>785481
Fuck
Also, sorry for namefagging
>>
Rolled 10, 7 = 17 (2d10)

>>785455
Try to find a cave or something rock to put your back against so nothing can surprise you from behind.
I'm totally not metagaming.
>>
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>>785534
You decide to leave. Fuck the tea. It tastes shit anyway.
It’s probably about time to find a place to sleep. You still haven’t gotten over Teddy’s disappearance, but he’s probably dead and he was kind of an asshole anyway, even if he was the best chance you had of getting out of here.
You’re probably dead anyway, this place is a lot like hell.
Man, you feel depressed.
You wander away from the table and go look for a cave or some shit. After a bit of wandering you find a serviceable hole in the ground. It looks to be the abandoned den of some large burrowing animal, but it isn’t too deep.
It is wet, though, but remembering your magic cane you rattle it about on the inside and turn it all into a somewhat rough and uncomfortable stone dwelling. It’s much dryer now. You crawl inside and cover the entrance with a branch. Fortunately, it’s bigger on the inside.
You feel really tired at this point. So you just collapse.

When you wake up, it’s dark. You have no way of telling what the time is so you assume that it’s night. Somehow, you feel even more tired, and weak to boot. You try to think of what you could do, but you just fall asleep again.

This time you wake up ravenous. Luckily, it’s daytime. Midday, judging by how warm it is. Just how long did you sleep?
That’s a point, is there even anything you can eat here? You haven’t had anything other than a banana in probably 24 hours. You scramble out of the hole, or you would, but you trip over your pant legs and face plant on your way out. You also need to do something about these clothes, apparently Teddy was way bigger than you in his shirt sizes. The dude was pretty ripped.
Anyway, Food. Where do we find that?
>>
Rolled 10, 4 = 14 (2d10)

Check the trees for any fruits be wary of any birdmen nesting in the trees.
>>
>>785853
You check the trees, because trees have fruit and shit, right? Things on the ground are usually poisonous.
Good god, those trees are big. You swear you didn’t notice it before, but they are enormous. Never the less, you spot a tree with some good climbing potential and clamber on up. You make quicker work than usual, motivated by your hunger, and get up into the canopy. There, you spot no fruit.
You do spot a giant hermit crab, eating the last of what looks like a fruit. He’s sat at the end of the branch. You aren’t. You begin to put a plan together.
>>
Rolled 9, 6 = 15 (2d10)

Shimmy to the end of the branch and kick the fucker off the branch.
>>
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>>787058
>Minimal success.
Waiting to see how this unfolds
>>
>>787101
It unfolds very slowly because I'm busy today, so minimal updates. Usually we're dead by now, so this is new territory.
>>
>>788464
Oh, Hey, We passed the 65 post mark, congrats
>>
>>788464
The dice god has been good to our ditsy chick.
>>
>>787058
You’re gonna kick the bastard.
You crawl to the end of the branch, sneaking up on him as he eats, and…
The branch snaps.
Oh yeah, that’s how it works.
The pair of you plummet a good 10m. Fortunately, you land in soft mud, and it takes the brunt of the impact. You still wind yourself pretty horribly.
It takes you a moment or two to catch your breath, but when you get up and find the crab, you see it limp and shattered on an exposed rock. It looks dead.
Come to think of it, you probably shouldn’t have walked away from that big a fall. You really are lucky.
In any case, you have crab(?) meat now. If only you knew how to start a fire. Though, to be honest, you’re hungry enough to not need one.
>>
Rolled 6, 9 = 15 (2d10)

>>791933
Try rubbing to sticks together. Try banging two rocks together to make sparks. Try to make a fire, and only eat it raw if you keep failing.
>>
>>791954
Nah, let’s make a fire.
You grab two sticks and try banging them together. No dice.
You grab two stones and try rubbing them together. Also no dice.
Man, this is hard.
You pace back and forth, trying to figure out how to set fire to something, when the sun blots out and you once again trip on your overly large pants, falling right into your den. Your head rings from the impact as you land on your face, and you feel tears welling in your eyes. That really hurt.
When you look outside everything is fire.
Holy shit. Did you do that?
The Crab’s been cooked at least. You take a seat and start eating.
In the distance you hear an explosion and a roar.
Eh, fuck it… You’re hungry.
>>
Rolled 1, 8 = 9 (2d10)

>>795710
Take a peek outside. While eating of course.
>>
>>795979
Fortunately, you're already outside.
Everything is on fire.
The crab is tasty. It tastes like lobster. Damn hybrid animals.
In the sky you see two enormous winged beasts going at it. That must have been where the fire came from. They are being very noisy.
>>
Rolled 2, 6 = 8 (2d10)

>>796231
Retreat to the den.
Collect our thoughts
List possible actions
>>
Rolled 3, 3 = 6 (2d10)

Fuck that. Progression time.

You remember reading that smoke always blows north, FOLLOW THE SMOKE.
>>
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>>797725
>Wind blowing past you
>Smoke blowing in the opposite direction
>Guess that's north
>>
>>797751
Hey. Blame the book she read that told her that not me.
>>
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>>797725
Upon finishing all 10kg of edible crab meat you decide to leave. You stick the Sticky Paper wad in your pocket and take off in the direction the smoke is blowing. Because smoke blows North. And North lies civilization.

While running away from the raging inferno that is the Hell beasts struggle, you come across a signpost that says “You have been visited by the Spooky Transcendent; slow updates and lazy writing will come to you unless you reply to this post with ‘I think ur cool, transcendent.’”
Before you can ponder this, the two great forms crash through the canopy, a flaming cartwheel that crushes the sign and comes to a stop before.
At first you’re frozen in terror, but then you realize it’s beginning to heat up. And not because of the fire.
At this point you finally get a good look at the creatures, both of which are about the size of houses. One looks like a Giant worm with wings, while the other is like some funky deer-eagle. And it’s taken you this long to realize that they aren’t fighting to the death, but rather fucking like mad.
Neat.
You’ll probably die if you stay here though. That’s a lot of fire.
>>
Rolled 652, 536, 190, 391, 35, 1 = 1805 (6d666)

>>802300
I think ur cool, Transcendent
>>
Rolled 7, 4 = 11 (2d10)

>>802300
Anyways, head away from the sex beings, post haste.
>>
Rolled 1, 4 = 5 (2d10)

Cheer on the mad fuck session as you continue heading north.



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