News:Winter Event - Enjoy collecting Candy Canes and Christmas Spirit as you help fight the good fight and rid the world from the true meaning of Christmas. Expires when the final boss does.Double Cash/EXP Weekend - Coming the weekend after the event.Updates:The Proficiency Update+The more you use a specific type of weapon, you will be given perks to show your evolving skill at the type of weapon.+The proficients are based, currently, on Novice, Advanced, and Expert.+Completing all the Novice-tier proficients will give you...something.=Yes, that hint is the third Mega Perk in the game.Pets/Mounts+Yeah, this one speaks for itself.+Some are decorative; some will help you out in combat and such.+Things like pets include dogs, cats, fish, and birds.+Things like mounts include horses, tigers, reindeer, and vehicles.=This update, save for one special mount, is activated AFTER the Christmas Event.=There's no limit to how many mounts you can have.New Players:Choose a name.Choose a gender.Get a spare Notepad or .txt file for your stats.Join the discord at https://discord.gg/34YQ5eU-The discord is where you can see all the perks, keep track of your stats even better, and also talk with other players.-Warning: it gets gay.Old Players:Yeah, it's still going. Sponsored by Brazzers.
End my suffering already.>>1012307Jack swings at Ice Demon D!The first horn rips through!The second horn scrapes!The third horn clips only slightly!The fourth horn finally breaks the demon into half!>>1012312Harvey manages a successful slash, breaking Ice Demon D into nothingness!>>1012318Glimmer quickly hustles herself into the stalls, with no time to lock it, and shoves a hand down her pants, crying out in want at her current situation. Two fingers quickly go in and out, pumping into her red-hot abdomen, and it doesn't take much until she quickly takes off her shirt, uses her free hand to squeeze a delicate nipple, and moan into the makeshift t-shirt gag as she twists and humps into the wall.>>1012320>>1012334>>1012348Aleera rolls on top of Azkeroth with a fueled urge of love, lust and...something a bit lower in her body. She first turns to anger, punching Azkeroth for such a terrible call...and eventually presses her lips against him once again, the space between both of their legs getting pretty damp and tight.>>1012350>"My hair was naturally born pink, actually."-Rooftop-Ice Demon C misses.Frank(?) picks up Ice Demon C and throws it off the building, causing all the summons to disappear!Donner comes out of his shield and lands next to the party!
>>1015645HE RAISED PHILAND LOVES THE LADIES
>>1015649You. Me. Rooftops. Now.> Proceed.
>>1015649To the rooftopsFor public sex in a pile of snow.>Azkeroth current mental state:?????
>>1015649Do the do
Rolled 12, 16, 20 = 48 (3d20)>>1015649>Vent out my anger on Donner.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1015649(MFW reading that shit again)Take a defensive stance and wait for Donner's next summons
>>1015652yee>>1015659>>1015664Aleera and Azkeroth, in a fit of giggles and arousal, rush to the rooftop...and they find that there's a classic shitfest going on with a magic reindeer.>>1015702Glimmer keeps plunging her hand into her crevice, continuing to absolutely squeal in delight...until a male voice interrupts her from outside the stall.>"Uhhhh...should I come back later?">>1015709Blacker Baron swings his weapon upon Donner!The first horn hits!The second horn hits!The third horn stabs into him!>>1015713Harvey guards.-Rooftop-Donner casts a fireball...it slams into Blacker Baron!Blacker Baron is low on HP.Donner casts a fireball...it slams into Harvey!Harvey is low on HP.Frank(?) rushes up and punches Donner in the gut! Both of them grunt.
>>1015808"what the fuck does it look like, you fucking cyka bylat pervert!"Keep doing the do, hoping this stranger goes away.
Rolled 17, 17, 3 = 37 (3d20)>>1015808>Tear into Donner.
Rolled 12, 18, 10, 7 = 47 (4d20)>>1015808 Attack [/spoiler>Az is feeling confusion Fight >Az is feeling lust KILL >Az is feeling BloodlustReindeer Kill
Rolled 14, 19, 6, 18 = 57 (4d20)>>1015808...Th-this...>35%This was going to be...> 103%OUR SPECIAL MOMENT!> 200% MadAND NOW FUCK OFF!> Rip and tear this unworthy pile of soon almost non identifiable biomass, aka, Donner.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1015808Join in on attacking Donner
>>1015834>>1015808Actually, blush and put on all my clothes. Quickly leave afterwards.
Rolled 17, 13, 17, 7 = 54 (4d20)>>1015808ATTACK DONNER
>>1015834Glimmer keeps stroking her fragile kitty as the guy peeks in.>"...Oh. Oh, wow. I'm just-- oнa гopячaя-- yeah..."The guy decides to start leaving.>>1015837Blacker Baron throws another swing!The first horn hits!The second horn hits!The third horn misses.>>1015843Azkeroth realizes there's work to be done, picks up Aleera, sets her down next to him, and screams to run in for the kill!The first horn hits!The second horn hits, with extreme results!The third horn hits!The fourth horn hits!>>1015852Aleera, furious about not setting sail for cock, throws herself into the slaughter!The first horn hits!The second horn mangles Donner's face!The third horn hits!The fourth horn hits, making Donner bleed out!>>1015853Harvey makes it even worse!>>1016127Glimmer's face suddenly turns red as she realizes her mistake, quickly redressing and walking out-- but bumping into the same guy. His face immediately animorphs into a tomato as well.>"Ah, er, is there something you...needed?">>1016597Jack swings even-- oi wait hold on a second>>1015852>>1015843How did all of you get Antler III?-Rooftop-Donner gets back behind the shield, looking worse for wear!Donner begins to summon something big...naturally, critically big. (1/2)
>>1016606>Laugh like a maniac and run to Mary for heals.
>>1016606Just guard, bobbing my head to https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WhPvJOnHotE
Rolled 7 (1d20)>>1016606Use the break in action to find a way to heal
Rolled 13 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1016606 Azkeroth thinks about what happened recently and feels confused >Shift into stance He thinks about this battle and feels excited >Breathe in He thinks about the people he's fought with and feels happy. >Breathe out He thinks about the future challenges and feels determined >Focus
>>1016606Be a very embarrassed slav and quickly make up an excuse, in Russian, due to embarrassment. Leave afterwards."Жaль I-I мм пpocтo извинялcя!"
>>1016616Blacker Baron flees to go get Mary, who heals him up.>"Could I come with?">>1016643Jack guards.>>1016650Harvey goes to Mary and heals up.>>1016696Azkeroth stares into the summoner's ring...and feels a glowing fire inside him.>>1016727Glimmer makes the guy almost smirk as she walks away; he will remember this.-Rooftop-Donner finishes summoning...a Fallen Piece of the Multibeast!FPotM extends it's limbs!Arm A is ready!Arm B is ready!Arm C is ready!Arm D is ready!Arm E is ready!Arm F is ready!
Rolled 6 + 1 (1d20 + 1)>>1017385oh god damn throw fucking Molotov at the arms
Rolled 7, 9, 3 = 19 (3d20)>>1017385>"Sure.">Sprint back to the fight and attack the... arms?
>>1017385Think to myself why have I never seen another slav in this school until now. Go change back into my regular school uniform.Get rid of any lewd thoughts considering that student.
Rolled 18, 5, 4, 7 = 34 (4d20)>>1017385>Breathe out As he continues to think he loses his bloodlust >And now attack. Enjoying the fight but not losing himself in it
>>1017385Jump back into the fight and....is that a bunch of arms?!question my sanity for a minute before these reindeer are some kind of demonsrun headlong in to battle, swiss army knife at the ready and furiously attack
Rolled 19 (1d20)>>1017453(Seems I forgot something)
>>1017401Jack throws the Molotov Cocktail...but it just burns away doing nothing!>>1017403Blacker Baron rushes in to attack Arm A!The first horn scratches!The second horn scratches!The third horn misses.>>1017444Glom freshens up and gets back into her skirt and sweater.>>1017448Azkeroth immediately uses his focused attack!The first horn did major damage!The second horn did barely anything.The third horn did even less.The fourth horn finally managed to do something!>>1017453>>1017465Harvey preps his knife, finally taking out Arm A from the FPotM!-Rooftop-Arm B misses.Arm C misses.Arm D slaps Harvey!Harvey is on his last legs...Arm E connects Jack to the pavement!Jack is low on HP.Arm F misses.
Rolled 2, 8, 13, 4 = 27 (4d20)>>1017614Fucking smash Arm B into pieces.
Rolled 2, 8, 10, 2 = 22 (4d20)>>1017614 I should do this more often Attack arm B
>>1017614See what's with all the commotion on the roof.
Rolled 20, 11, 12 = 43 (3d20)>>1017614>Attack the arms.
>>1017630Jack attacks Arm B!The first horn misses.The second horn scratches!The third horn hits!The fourth horn misses.>>1017633Azkeroth is fueled!The first horn misses.The second horn scratches!The third horn scratches!The fourth horn misses.>>1017638Glimmer finds that a boss fight is taking place...huh.>>1017685Blacker Baron follows up!The first arm snaps Arm B!The second arm hits!The third arm finally destroys it!-Rooftop-Arm C hits Azkeroth!Azkeroth is low on HP.Arm D hits Jack!Jack is on his last legs...Arm E misses.Arm F misses.Frank(?) decides to look on, not really stepping into this.>Fallen Piece of the Multibeast - A chunk of one of the most powerful beings on the magical plane. Resistant to all elements, it can summon the limbs of the souls it takes and use them to grow stronger and stronger. Without a party, these things are either impossible or a total bitch to take down.Mary heals Jack back to decent health!
Rolled 5, 8, 20, 18 = 51 (4d20)>>1017741 Smash into Arm C.
Rolled 13, 20, 17, 2 = 52 (4d20)>>1017741>Mary dear healing please>Hum a catchy tune and attack arm C
Rolled 2, 12, 10 = 24 (3d20)>>1017741>Pocket the fallen piece and resume killing arms.
>>1017741Turn 180 degrees and just walk away
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1017741AHHHgo get some healing
>>1015645Guy facemanMale(do I choose my stats? how does this work? what are the stats, I've never played a youth game before)I joined the discord. I decided a fitting avater was an artists conceptoin of a baby with harlequinn ithiosis
>>1017741Snap back into reality> Ko-Ko-Ko-cktail for jack?
go to roof and attack arm C
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1018359
>>1015645Are you fighting for The Voice or against him
>>1018360>>1018353>>1017741That way it should be recognised.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1018301>>1017741> Jack got healedNevermind then!> Inspect DonnerDoes he still have his shield, or can I just deck them in the schnozz?
>>1018580sorry. I forgot how to roll
>>1018640No problem mate.But you got to link your reply to OP, else he might overlook it.
>>1017751Jack attacks once more!The first horn misses.The second horn scratches!The third horn does serious damage!The fourth horn hits dutifully!>>1017756Azkeroth asks for a heal and attacks!The first horn hits!The second horn does even more damage!The third horn finally injures Arm C into the end!>>1017757Blacker Baron continues slaughtering, moving to Arm D.The first horn misses.The second horn hits!The third horn scratches!>>1017764Glimmer is a quivering faggot and leaves.>>1017829Harvey asks for a heal. No response.>>1018284>>1018353>>1018356>>1018357>>1018359>>1018360>>1018640>>1018911Holy shit calm dow-- Guy Faceman appears at the rooftop, punching Arm D with pretty good results!>>1018301>>1018611Aleera inspects Donner, who is behind a shield.>Donner the Summoner - One of the leading forces in Jolly Squad Alpha, his magical ability allows him to summon untold creatures to fight in his defense. Although not strong, he can be extremely annoying.-Rooftop-Arm D hits Blacker Baron!Blacker Baron is on his last legs...Arm E misses.Arm F hits Azkeroth!Azkeroth is on his last legs...Frank(?) proceeds to rush Arm D, but ends up missing.Mary runs to Azkeroth, healing him back into a prepared state.
Rolled 15, 8, 5, 10 = 38 (4d20)>>1020251 Hmmm. I wonder how reindeer meat tastes. Attack arm D it's kind of cold outside. I like it
>>1020251Just uh, watch the fight
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1020251healz plz?
>>1020251>Go to Mary for healing.
Rolled 1, 5, 20, 13 = 39 (4d20)>>1020251Tear through Arm D
Rolled 16, 20, 13 = 49 (3d20)>>1020251> The thought of... unspeakable things fills your mind.> It fills you with determination, too.
>>1020460Arm F by the way... just... gonna throw that out there.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1020251>>1015645attack arm F
>>1020262Azkeroth targets the next arm!The first horn hits!The second horn scratches!The third horn misses.The fourth horn scratches!>>1020264Glimmer is watching intently.>>1020278Harvey asks for a heal.>>1020301Blacker Baron asks for a heal.>>1020303Jack swings his antler proudly!The first horn misses.The second horn misses.The third horn does incredible progress!The fourth horn hits!>>1020460>>1020466Aleera targets a completely different arm...?The first horn hits!The second horn does a great deal!The third horn hits!>>1020476Guy Faceman punches Arm F! Nice.-Rooftop-Arm D hits Glimmer!Glimmer is low on HP.Arm E hits Glimmer!Glimmer is on her last legs...Arm F hits Glimmer! It's over.Glimmer didn't have any Candy Canes to start with, so she just respawns.Frank(?) walks up and kicks Arm D clean off!Mary heals Harvey back to decent health, since he asked first.
Rolled 8, 5, 11, 7 = 31 (4d20)>>1020700Fucking tear through Arm D, holy shit.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1020700Stabby stab arm E
Rolled 8, 5, 11 = 24 (3d20)>>1020700... this is... mildly concerning...> It's the E then
Rolled 7, 3, 12, 5 = 27 (4d20)>>1020700 I know death isn't permanent but still Attack arm D I... We'll win...
>>1020700>Wait patiently to be healed.
>>1020700Locate that slav I encountered earlier
>>1020707Jack swings once again!The first horn scratches!The second horn misses.The third horn finally eliminates it!>>1020722Harvey stabs into Arm E!>>1020733Aleera goes into Arm E as well!The first horn scratches!The second horn misses.The third horn hits!>>1020743Azkeroth pushes into Arm E!The first horn scratches!The second horn misses.The third horn hits, tearing off Arm E!>>1020745Blacker Baron still waits.>>1020814Glom walks around, finding that guy from earlier writing in a notebook.-Rooftop-Arm F hits Aleera!Aleera is low on HP.Frank(?) decides to just sit down. He's had a long part-of-a-day.Mary heals Blacker Baron back up!
Rolled 20, 6, 7, 11 = 44 (4d20)>>1021503FUCKING DESTROY ARM F
Rolled 15, 11, 20, 11 = 57 (4d20)>>1021503 And now the fight is nearing an end. Like all good things. Attack arm F
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1021503>Focus for an attack on Donner once his shield is down.
Rolled 15 (1d20)>>1021503Attack arm F
>>1021503Akwardky scooch over to him like in your Chinese Cartoons! Go red as a tomato as well.
>>1021515Jack swings into Arm F!The first horn does great damage!The second horn scratches!The third horn scratches!The fourth horn hits!>>1021526Azkeroth attacks as well!The first horn hits!The second horn hits!The third horn does even better!The fourth horn hits!>>1021579Blacker Baron focuses on Donner... he feels refreshed now. Warm and energetic.>>1021623Harvey attacks Arm F, finally chopping it off and destroying the Fallen Piece of the Multibeast!>>1021673Glimmer sits next to the guy. He's writing some symbols, but closes it when he sees you approach.>"...So...do you want to just fast forward to the part where we kiss?"-Rooftop-Donner's shield breaks for the last time, sending him into a furious rage!Donner casts a fireball! It hits Blacker Baron!Blacker Baron is on his last legs...Donner casts a fireball! It hits Azkeroth!Azkeroth is on his last legs...Donner casts a fireball! It hits Harvey!Harvey is on his last legs...Donner casts a fireball! It hits Aleera!Aleera is on her last legs...Donner casts a fireball! It misses.
Rolled 9, 18, 13 = 40 (3d20)>>1021800>Finish off Donner.
Rolled 16, 9, 8, 14 = 47 (4d20)>>1021800ATTACK THE DONNER
Rolled 4, 2, 10, 17 = 33 (4d20)>>1021800 Through all of this pain and taking all these risks. To win >This was fun donner wish we could do it again sometime. Good bye.Finish him
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1021800Bust up Donner with the brass knuckles
>>1021800Aaaand pass out.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1021800Hit Donner and RUN!
>>1022330scratch that, grab donner by his ankle so that everyone elses attacks land
Rolled 4, 18, 20 = 42 (3d20)>>1021800> Obliberate the remains of a broken reindeer, and rip out his heart!
>>1021810Blacker Baron swings!The first horn scratches!The second horn hits impressively!The third horn hits!>>1021811Jack swings as well!The first horn hits!The second horn scratches!The third horn scratches!The fourth horn finally cracks open Donner's head, dropping him and his magic into a lifeless husk!>>1021812>>1021817>>1022330>>1022349>>1022398Donner has been defeated; you won the battle!>>1021851Glimmer falls over, but stops just short of the floor as the guy catches her and picks her back up.>"Woah, jeez, you okay?"-Rooftop-The reindeer have grown stronger...>Jack has gained 7 Christmas Spirit, and now has 1,432 Candy Canes and his perk back!>Azkeroth has gained 101 Candy Canes, and now has 1,031.Loot:>Broken Antler - Currently useless, but if you put two of these together, it looks like it'd make something.>Reindeer Meat (4) - Heals half of your current max HP.>Ice Cube (9) - It doesn't heal, but it does make lemonade taste much more refreshing.>Scroll (Fire I) - A rare, ancient parchment that only casts once; casts Fire I.
>>1023448Hand the Blacker Baron three hundred candy canes before grabbing some reindeer meat (one), three ice cubes, and...that's it.
>>1023448"Y-yeah I'm okay. Just don't say that again, you cheeki breeki!"Continue to be flustered. Look away for added effect.
>>1023448> take the Scroll, this will prove usefulAlso the icecubes.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1023448(at least that's over)leave the roof and look for more stuff to fight
>>1023448>Take the broken antler and go to Mary for healing.
>>1023448>Fucking hell burns hurt.Time for basic first aid.Grab some snow to help with the burns and I can probably use my shirt as bandages.
>>1023448...Alright fuckos, now get of the roof!I insist on it, because what comes next will not be pretty, not by a long shot!
>>1023467Jack hands 300 Candy Canes to Blacker Baron, grabs a chunk of meat along with three Ice Cubes, and stretches after the fight.>>1023471Glimmer looks away with a red face, and after a few seconds, the guy just turns your head towards him and presses his lips onto yours.>"In my defense, you weren't exactly going to do it.">>1023475Aleera takes the Scroll and the other six Ice Cubes.>>1023480Harvey needs to roll a 3d10+6 for Search, not a 1d20.-2 Thugs (Easy)-3 Thugs, 2 Bullies (Medium)-14 Bullies (Hard)>>1023517Blacker Baron takes the Broken Antler and gets fully healed from Mary.>>1023551Azkeroth uses snow to calm down his wounds, but before he can provide his own first aid, Mary just heals him nonetheless.>>1023576Aleera begins to shoo everyone off the roof.-Rooftop-Mary fully heals everyone involved in the fight!Frank(?) just decides to follow Jack."Time has treated you well, I see."
Rolled 8, 3, 1 = 12 (3d10)>>1024373"It has. Come on, buddy." Look around for people to fight.
>>1024373...> sigh...This was really not what I was planning to happen.... in fact, it was just a simple sparring match...To have things turn out like that... I'm sorry Az.You know, I'm not sure about these things.When I saw you fighting, I was feeling uneasy...I started to question myself.I felt a desire, and maybe I just though to hard about it.The simple urges I had, they made me think I might actually love you....But now?now...If you are ok with it, we will just act as if nothing of this ever happened.I was hoping for some clearance for myself, but if you don't feel like it, I would completely understand you.I just wanted to convince myself that this is nothing more than just my urges, my hormons, and no actual fe... fe...I JUST WANT TO MAKE SURE I DON'T ACTUALLY LOVE YOU, SO I WON'T FEEL AN EMPTINESS WHEN I WOULD LOSE YOU!>mfw
>>1024373(Noted: search rolls get 3d10+6 in the option field, by the way how much longer is this event thing going to last, it's getting a bit stale)Engage to 2ThugsStab Thug A in the eye
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1024470Oopsie
Rolled 1 (1d20)>>1024373>Skin Donner and wear his pelt.
>>1024373Walk up to aleera and knock her on the head.>>1024446>we're highschool students fighting magical reindeer during winter and honestly I'm not interested in clichés. Just do what you want and ignore the consequences, clichés, and risks. But if you're still conflicted about that we can talk okay?
>>1024574Because who needs serious moments?
>>1024574OW...... ok, I deserved this...Did I overdo it? That's usually how these confessions work, at least in all the anime I watched...... you know, I'm still now all to sure, but...You will never know if you don't try it right?... So, what about it?You, me, and no one else but the moon and the stars shining on ou->>1024509WHAT THE FUCK MATE?!SERIOUSLY! I TOLD YOU TO BUGGER OF!WE ARE HAVING A MOMENT HERE, AND THIS MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT INCLUDE A WHOLE LOT OF SEX!GIVE US SOME PRIVACY, FOR FUCKS SAKE!IF YOU WANT THAT REINDEER SO BADLY, JUST COME BACK LATER, WHEN WE ARE FINISHED, OK?!
>>1024373Fuck it, just kiss him back."I just wanted to befriend you by the way, but..."
>>1024607>Honestly I'd love to think of something clever to say. I don't have such a thing so I'll just say yes. I'd love to.
>>1024692Glad to hear it.I'm on top by the way.
>>1024701>Keep telling yourself that.
>>1024712... is that a challenge?2 out of 3, let's do this.> continue where the ""spar"" left of
>>1024743>Bring it.Can't go down without a fight.And conflict is human nature
>>1024378Jack and Frank(?) do a search...-4 Bullies (Easy)-3 Thugs (Medium)-1 Armed Bully, 4 Thugs (Hard)>>1024446>>1024574>>1024580>>1024607>>1024692>>1024701>>1024712>>1024743>>1024790Ignoring all that cringeworthy bullshit, Aleera and Azkeroth decide to wager.>Reward: Sexual PositionReady? Begin!>>1024470>>1024475Harvey walks up to the two thugs and misses.>>1024509Blacker Baron finds that the reindeer is too tough to cut through; besides, there's barely anything to work with at this point.>>1024616>"Eh, you know what they say, Russians learn by dominance."The guy snakes a hand up to one of your asscheeks and squeezes roughly while slipping his tongue alongside yours.-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug A is preparing...Thug B is preparing...
Rolled 20 (1d20)>>1025427>Kick Aleera off the roof.
Rolled 4 + 2 (1d20 + 2)>>1025427>-1 Armed Bully, 4 Thugs Throw the Molotov at the enemies.
Rolled 9 (1d20)>>1025427Slash Thug A in the neck
>>1025437(note, forgot the extra 1. this is a 7)
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1025427What the shit this was unCALLED FOOOOOOR!> Try to not break my fucking neck on the way down... or when landing, for that matter
Rolled 3 + 6 (1d20 + 6)>>1025427Apparently throwing people off the roof is in style.So try to throw blacker off the roof.
>>1025427Alright this is happening now, this is a thing that is currently taking place at this exact moment.Keep kissing him roughly or something, holy shit it's happening.
>>1025433Blacker Baron walks up and, without trouble, punts Aleera off of the rooftop.>>1025437Jack throws a Molotov at the enemies!Armed Bully A is on fire!Thug A dodge.Thug B is on fire!>>1025438Harvey slashes Thug A!>>1025453Aleera manages to land on a relatively thick pile of snow, but it doesn't help the several cracked bones in her body.Aleera is on her last legs...>>1025483Azkeroth tackles Blacker Baron, but only gets him to the edge!>>1026536Glimmer begins to force herself onto him, and he willingly accepts, slowly edging a single hand up your shirt and delicately grasping one of your undeveloped breasts while swirling your tongues around.-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug A pulls out a Pocket Knife and slashes at Harvey, leaving a cut!Thug B misses.-2nd Floor, Hallway-Armed Bully A takes burning damage, but rolls away the fire soon after, pulling out a Desert Eagle! Shit.Thug A pulls out a Swiss Army Knife.Thug B screams and can't recover, turning into a charcoal corpse.
Rolled 2 (1d20)>>1027993Cut Thug A
>>1027993Ask Mary to go make sure aleera doesn't die.Then loot the reindeer meat and head home.
Rolled 15, 19, 4, 8 + 2 = 48 (4d20 + 2)>>1027993Crash into Armed Bully A with the antlers.
>>1027993>Go down to where Aleera is and drag her to Mary's office.
>>1027993Change the situation by grabbing at his balls, hopefully to make me the dominant one here. Also try not to moan into his mouth because yeah.
>>1027993F-fu...> Apologise to Baron, for having insulting them. Excuse may or may not be a shock reaction.And as we are already on it> Try to not pass out from the pain, or cry out because of it either, once the shock settled.> Maybe call out for Az.
>>1028004Harvey misses.>>1028010Mary nods, rushing downstairs using a nearby service ladder; Azkeroth takes all the remaining Reindeer Meat and goes home.>>1028013Jack swings at Armed Bully A!The first horn hits!The second horn is fucking insane!The third horn scratches!The fourth horn hits, killing the guy!>>1028173Blacker Baron catches up with Mary and meets her at the bottom, where Aleera lies pretty broken up.>>1028303Glimmer softly grabs the dude's balls, but he one ups you by pinning you to a locker and grinding his hips into yours.>>1028353Aleera apologizes, cried out for Azkeroth, and is soon healed by Mary.>"You should be good now."-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug A takes his knife and jams it directly into Harvey's stomach!Harvey is low on HP...Thug B kicks Harvey square in the stomach!Harvey is on his last legs...-2nd Floor, Hallway-Thug A stabs Jack in the arm!Jack is low on HP.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1030884Fucking DiceLet Me Stab Thug A You Faggotsstab thug A in the godam dick
Rolled 20 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1030884Get the reindeer meat and start cooking some reindeer steak.
Rolled 13 (1d20)>>1030884>Go up to Harvey's fight and block a hit for the idiot.
>>1030884"S-so w-what's your name?"Try to mantain my composure, ask this question, and attempt to push him onto another locker.
Rolled 15, 5, 20, 11 + 8 = 59 (4d20 + 8)>>1030884Smash the antleers into the thug.
>>1030884Where is Az?...I understand> Search for my friends in the school.Friends are Az and Glam.
>>1030913Harvey finishes Thug A.>>1030923Azkeroth uses 2 Reindeer Meat to make 4 Reindeer Slabs!>Sauteed Reindeer Slab (4) - These exclusive articles are delicious as fuck, healing people back to full health; if you have upgraded health, you go back to half health.>>1030928Blacker Baron is guarding in Harvey's fight.>>1030941Glimmer pushes the guy into another locker.>"It's-- it's, uh-- ngh~"He traces a hand down, and just like that, the guy is fingering you.>>1030944Jack just obliterates Thug A.>>1031700Aleera finds Azkeroth in the kitchen and Glimm- OH JEEZ OKAY THEN-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug B misses.-2nd Floor, Hallway->Jack has gained 26 Candy Canes, and now has x.>Desert Eagle - One of the finest pistols ever made.>Bullet (7) - Ammunition
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1036400knife Thug B in da nutz or something
>>1036400Time to head to aleera to see if she's healed.
Rolled 3, 3, 4 = 10 (3d10)>>1036400Go to the red light district and look for memes.
Rolled 20 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1036400OI! Answer the fookin question, ye TWAT!If a lady asks you a question, you better ANSWER!> grab this guys bag.> Also, proceed to grab him by the shoulder, tear him away from Glam.> Get him in an armlockSo, and now this lady right HERE has some questions for you.Starting of with your name!But you know what?Glam, check his wallet.And don't try anything fancy, mate.> Furthermore, be prepared to break his arm if he tries any "funny business".
>>1036400Be stunned by Aleera's sudden appearance, before doing as I am told by checking his wallet.
>>1036411Harvey misses.>>1036426Azkeroth heads over to Aleera and Glimmer, where shit is getting lewd.>>1036458Jack goes to search in the Red Light District (Area I):-1 Gangbanger (Hard)-2 Gangbangers (V. Hard)-1 Gang Leader (Extreme)>>1036487Aleera takes the guy's bag and pins him to a wall!>>1036499Glimmer checks his wallet, but there doesn't appear to be anything in there but a playing card with an eyeball etched into it.-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug B misses.-2nd Floor, Arts Hallway-The guy begins to convulse.>"W̧r̢hh̷z͝k̵k̨vz̛i̧!̸"The strange dude disappears!
Rolled 8, 2, 15, 9 + 8 = 42 (4d20 + 8)>>1036829>-1 Gangbanger Smash the antlers into the fugger
Rolled 3 (1d20)>>1036829(Maybe now the dice will stop being shit)Attack Thug B
>>1036829"....""OH DEAR GOD I WAS TOUCHED BY A FUCKING AMERICAN!"Quickly run to the girl's shower to get american-dog touch off of me.
>>1036829...I fucking hate this shit....> rummage thought the bag of the twat. See if there is anything useful in there.
Rolled 3, 8, 10 = 21 (3d10)>>1036829Take that nice looking hat off Aleera's head then go search the city for villains harming innocents
>>1036918Aleera, slightly peeved.> Additionally, throw my blue elf hat at Azerkoth.... I expect you in 13 minutes in the kitchen, we got meat to put into ovens!
>>1036836Jack attacks a Gangbanger!The first horn hits!The second horn misses.The third horn hits!The fourth horn hits!>>1036841Harvey misses. Again.>>1036842Glom goes downstairs to the Women's Locker Room and showers the shame off.>>1036918Aleera digs through the bag...with extreme luck!>Red Notebook (0/50) - A red notebook. Holds 50 Paper.>Blue Notebook (0/50) - A blue notebook. Holds 50 Paper.>Green Notebook (0/50) - A blue notebook. Holds 50 Paper.>Black Notebook (5/50) - A black notebook with writing in it. Holds 50 Paper.>Paper (5) - You never know when you'll need airplanes.>>1036937>>1036938Azkeroth equips the Blue Elf Hat and does a search in the City...-1 Mugger (Medium)-2 Criminals (Hard)-1 Gangbanger (V. Hard)-1st Floor, Hallway-THUG B MISSES. AGAIN.
>>1037687-Red Light District (Area I)-Gangbanger A loads his AK-47...
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1037687Hmm...I suppose I could use these notebooks to write down any recipe, or maybe contracts, or maybe-Now this is interesting.> try to understand the written stuff in the black notebook
Rolled 10, 9, 9, 11 + 10 = 49 (4d20 + 10)>>1037687>2 CriminalsTime for some fun.>Attack
Rolled 16, 16, 19, 14 + 8 = 73 (4d20 + 8)>>1037687Smash the antlers into the Gangbanger's arms.
>>1037687Keep washing every part of my body.Throughly.Even the inside of my vagina.And shove soap into my mouth
Rolled 6 (1d20)>>1037687Attack again(and miss again)
>>1037687>Ask Mary if she can bring some helpers for a big fight that's about to go down.
The handle has changed for now.>>1037720Aleera looks at the pages used up in the black notebook; most of it is stained somewhat in red, but it happens to be a blueprint of...something. You feel uncomfortable looking at it.>>1037721Azkeroth attacks the two Criminals!The first horn hits!The second horn hits!The third horn hits!The fourth horn hits, killing Criminal A!>>1037722Jack attacks Gangbanger A with a mythical combo!The first horn does incredible damage!The second horn does even more shit!The third horn is fantastic!The fourth horn manages to one-shot Gangbanger A against all odds!>>1037830Glimmer finally cleans every part of her, albeit unorthodox.>>1037841Harvey FINALLY kills the last Thug.>>1037860>"Sorry, I'm not in the position to do that. You would need to...never mind. Point is, no helpers. I can come with, though.-The City, 2nd Street-Criminal A pulls out a Desert Eagle and fires at Azkeroth! It hits!Azkeroth is low on HP.Criminal B pulls out a Desert Eagle and fires at Azkeroth! It hits part of his neck!Azkeroth is in absolute peril!-Red Light District (Area I)->Jack has gained 25 Candy Canes, and now has 1,183.>AK-47 - An automatic rifle with extreme power, but low accuracy.>Bullet (7) - Ammunition.-1st Floor, Hallway->Harvey has gained 22 Candy Canes, and now has 26.>Pocket Knife (2) - A weak knife, but still better than punching things.
Rolled 8 (1d20)>>1040039(Not sure if this needs the 1d20 or the 3d10+6 so I'll so a second post just to make sure)well after that shit fest I'm going to look for heals
Rolled 8, 2, 7 = 17 (3d10)>>1040039Keep looking for more enemies.
>>1040039Dry self and put on a spare school uniform as the previous one is contaminated. Locate Jack after all of this.
Rolled 8, 4, 6 + 6 = 24 (3d10 + 6)>>1040073(Just to make sure)
Rolled 12 + 3 (1d20 + 3)>>1040039Consume a sauteed slab of meat and prepare to dodge.
>>1040039>Go to Azkeroth's fight and guard.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1040039> sniff the red stainsOk... mildly disconcerting, maybe I should go to someone who would know about this...Maybe lather though...> Go home, and prepare to cook the remaining meatAs far as I recall, all that you need is an apron, so you don't get splotches all over you.So I'll do that.> Don an apron.> Search the web for information on how to cook reindeer http://www.livestrong.com/article/508872-how-to-cook-reindeer-steak/> Start with the first batch
>>1040104So, I'm at my home right now.School kitchen was locked, so I had to go to my place.Not that there would be anything wrong with YOUR place, but I don't even know where you live...Now that I'm thinking about it, you don't either, sooo...> Give Az my addressHurry up, this meat isn't going to heat up on it's own!
>>1040195>"...OK..."Give aleera my address since that's a thing now.
>>1040073>>1040091You cannot physically be this stupid.Harvey goes to Mary and gets healed.>>1040075Jack does another search in the Red Light District (Area I)...-1 Gangbanger (Hard)-1 Gang Leader, 1 Gangbanger (V. Hard)-2 Gang Leaders (Extreme)>>1040081Glimmer puts on a tight short skirt and a sweater, going to the Red Light District (Area I) and finding Jack.>>1040104Azkeroth heals back to full health and gets ready to dodge...>>1040130Blacker Baron goes to the City and joins the fight by guarding! Won't really do anything for a gun, though...>>1040184Aleera puts on nothing but an apron and fails to cook the meat right. There goes one entire meat into the trash.-The City, 2nd Street-Criminal A fires again!Azkeroth dodges it!Criminal B fires at Blacker Baron! He's hit!Blacker Baron is low on HP.
>>1040392Hand Glam the Dagger before walking over to the Gangbanger.
Rolled 10, 15, 20, 3 + 8 = 56 (4d20 + 8)>>1040392>Goodbye enemyAttack criminal B
>>1040392Be given the dagger;follow Jack.
Rolled 12 (1d20)>>1040392...Maaybe I should wait for Az to......Yeah.I'll wait for Az.> study the scroll of Fire IMaybe I can learn how to make copies.
Rolled 4, 4, 5 = 13 (3d20)>>1040392>Rip criminal B a new asshole.
Rolled 7, 8, 7 + 6 = 28 (3d10 + 6)>>1040392(>You cannot physically be this stupidI prefer to call it creative but you're the gm so stupid it is :^) )hunt for things to attack
>>1040492>Rolling to go to an NPC who's always in the same fucking spot when nobody else does it.>Using a 1d20 and a 3d20 to do it.Holy shit, dude. I should kill you again just for the fun of it.
Rolled 45 (1d100)>>1041195you know where to find me ;-)
>>1040414>>1040420Glimmer grabs a Dagger before following Jack to the fight.>>1040419>>1040437Azkeroth and Blacker Baron attack Criminals A and B!(AZK) The first horn hits!The second horn hits!The third horn is incredible!The fourth horn takes out Criminal B!(BB) The first horn misses.The second horn misses.The third horn misses.>>1040426Aleera looks at the scroll. Apparently, Fire I casts a fireball at a target, but it's not able to be copied without knowing how to craft runes.>>1040492>>1041195>>1041286Harvey is being a fucking idiot, but does a search anyway:-4 Thugs (Easy)-2 Thugs, 4 Bullies (Medium)-1 Thug, 8 Bullies (Hard)-Red Light District (Area I)-Gangbanger A whips out a Machete!-The City, 2nd Street->Azkeroth has gained 32 Candy Canes, and now has 1,063.>Desert Eagle (2) - One of the finest pistols ever made.>Bullet (14) - Ammunition.
Rolled 7, 4, 16, 2 + 10 = 39 (4d20 + 10)>>1042046Smash my weapon into the Gangbanger's face.
>>1042046Well head to Aleera's house now.She needs help I think
>>1042046>Go get healed by Mary.
>>1042046>>1042068> Open up the doorGood to see you! I really have no idea how this cooking thing works, so I appretiate your help.The thing is, I don't want to waste any more of this meat, so...Why don't you come in?> Turn around and show them the meat.
>>1042091Incorrect Trip.Aaaand fixed.
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1042046Oh shit uh, attack the thing.
Rolled 10 (1d20)>>1042046Fight the 4 thugsStart with Thug C for no good reason stab the fucker
>>1042060Jack attacks Gangbanger A!The first horn hits!The second horn scratches!The third horn does great damage!The fourth horn misses.>>1042068>>1042091>>1042116Azkeroth goes to Aleera's house, finding that the only thing she has on her is the apron covering her tits and more private parts, but just barely...but who cares? Azkeroth walks into Aleera's bedroom, digging out clothes and telling her to get dressed already. After all, it is winter.>>1042075Blacker Baron goes to the School and gets fully healed.>>1042129Glimmer stabs into Gangbanger A, having JUST enough to take him out.>>1042172Harvey stabs into Thug C! Ouch.-Red Light District (Area I)->Glimmer gains 22 Candy Canes.>Machete - This weapon will chop into limbs easily, but is limited by generic torso/basic attacks.-1st Floor, Hallway-Thug A stabs Harvey!Harvey is low on HP.Thug B stabs Harvey!Harvey is on his last legs...Thug C slaps Harvey!Harvey has lost 1 Candy Cane, and now has 3.
Rolled 2, 1, 4 = 7 (3d10)>>1042358Keep looking for enemies.
>>1042358>Go follow Harvey when he comes back to life.
>>1042358Take the Machete. Go back to my house.
Rolled 17 (1d20)>>1042358I-An-... you know what? Fine.Whatever....Just... find a damn recipe, and tell me what to do.That way we can finish up with this... whatever that is that's happening right now.> Follow Az's instructions while maintaining awkward silence> Said silence is occasionally interrupted by her trying to start a sentence, but ending it abruptly.... talking about those reindeer, just so you know.Not... trying to finish whatever we are having right now... if you thought I was talking about that... Just... so you know.
>>1042470Also dress up.And yes, EVEN the underwear.
Rolled 18 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1042358Well time to cook with aleera.And try to figure out why she's acting off Even though I know exactly why and am just messing with her
>>1042397Jack keeps looking for enemies:-1 Gangbanger (Hard)-2 Gangbangers (V. Hard)-1 Gang Leader (Extreme)>>1042402Blacker Baron stands at the front of the School, waiting for Harvey to spawn in.>>1042424Nice digits, m8. Glom takes the Machete and goes back to her house.>>1042470>>1042483>>1042496Aleera gets dressed as they start cooking an amazing dish!>Amazing Reindeer Slab (2) - Built for expertise, with a fine layer of pepper, salt, and melted cheese. Heals anybody back to full health, regardless of size.
>>1042548Go say hi to Slav Dad and tell him about my adventures at school.
Rolled 17, 16, 14, 19 + 10 = 76 (4d20 + 10)>>1042548-2 Gangbangers Hop into the fight and smash the antlers into the first one's face.
>>1042548Well anyways since that's done for now time time to stop ignoring obvious social cues.>Take aleera to the bedroom and do the deedstraight to the point
>>1042591 Forgot mah trip
>>1042591... w- why?Why now? I just put those damn clo-And now I ha-So what was the po-And wh-I-...Overly_Complex_thinking.exe has stopped working.Ok then...I suppose...> Proceed.Will still insist on being on top. Well, unless you don't openly claim you are on top, in which case SOMEONE will be to busy thinking about what the fuck just happened.
>>1042667>>1042548> Fade to black
>>1042559>"MMMMMMMMMPH."Glimmer's dad is on his laptop. He must be doing important work...until, a once in a lifetime event happens, while he doesn't see you-- he tilts his gas mask up. The voice is raspy, almost nonexistent, but the rough words are still there:>"Plant...A...you mer...can...pig..."The gas mask goes back down instantly as soon as you creak by the door.>"Mmph! Mm mmph hrm mm!"Looks like he can't talk right now. The Christmas season changes people, as well as their skin collection.>>1042562Jack, with his insane moves, manages to obliterate Gangbanger A off the face of the planet!>>1042591>>1042598>>1042667>>1042673The metaphorical screen fades to black as Aleera holds herself on top of Azkeroth and grinds themselves together...(31 Turns Remaining)-Red Light District (Area I)-Gangbanger B pulls out an AR-15, loading it up!
Rolled 19, 6, 1, 6 + 8 = 40 (4d20 + 8)>>1042717"You're next." Smash the antlers into Gangbanger B
>>1042717Take a nap in my room.
Rolled 19 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1042717That was...Interesting.Back to cooking I guess?
Rolled 16 (1d20)>>1042885Would be quite a feat to be standing upright.Buuut... nothing which cannot be managed with good coordination.Now, where did we left off?> Follow Az's instructions to cook.
>>1042896Maybe give it a little taste.When Az isn't looking.
>>1042717>Get tired of waiting to kill Harvey and begin working out.
>>1043418I didn't know I meant that much to you I promise I'll come back soon :-3
>>1042749Jack attacks once more!The first horn does incredible damage!The second horn scratches.The third horn misses.The fourth horn scratches.>>1042763Glimmer takes a nap, fully healing herself in the process.>>1042885>>1042896Azkeroth and Aleera make two more Amazing Reindeer Slabs.>>1043418Blacker Baron begins to work out... (1/4)-Red Light District (Area I)-Gangbanger B fires, sending three bullets into Jack!Jack is on his last legs...
>>1043802>Continue working out.
>>1043802Go work outDo some squats and wish I has some oats
Rolled 13, 6, 18 + 2 = 39 (3d20 + 2)>>1043804>Switching to kill Harvey.
Rolled 2 + 4 (1d20 + 4)>>1043802More cookingOne more turn if this should suffice
Rolled 11 (1d20)>>1043802> try to save this meal as best as I can
Switch to running away while shreaking "AAAAAA, PLEASE NO BULLY!!!!"(Oh I belive I'm missing some candycanes see >>1040039we wouldn't want our friend here to miss out of his well deserved prize now would we)
>>1043804>>1043815>>1043818Blacker Baron ends up killing Harvey instantly using the power of the Antler II.>Blacker Baron has gained 26 Candy Canes, and now has 584.>>1043821>>1043823Aleera and Azkeroth make a simpler meal.>Reindeer Slab (2) - Basic food. Heals most of your HP.-The School, Front Yard-These items drop in front of the school:3x Pocket Knife1x Swiss Army Knife
Rolled 1, 7, 2 = 10 (3d10)>>1043849Back on the hunt.Time to stop some more bad guys in the city
>>1043849Pick up the Swiss Army knife and return to working out
>>1043849>Join Harvey's hunt after trading with Aleera.
>>1043849> Follow Az outside of the houseSee you in a bit, ok?I got to do something first.>>1043857Hey!Hey baron?Want to trade?Second tier Antlers for 250 of your canes!Sounds good?
>>1043861Azkeroth's hunt*Also trade with Aleera.
>>1043856>>1043861Azkeroth and Blacker Baron do a search in the City:-1 Criminal (Medium)-2 Muggers (Hard)-1 Gangbanger, 2 Criminals (V. Hard)>>1043861>>1043865A trade happens!>Blacker Baron has gained 250 Candy Canes, and now has 834 and a new perk!>He Sees You When You're Sleeping... (7 Christmas Spirit) - Your spirit has given you insight into the magical powers of what's really going on during Christmas...and it's absolutely terrible. You gain a +3 to all dodge rolls.>Aleera has lost 250 Candy Canes, and now has 0.>Aleera has lost the perk: Deck the Halls.>Antler II - A weapon from the Winter Event; allows you to hit three times.
Rolled 5 (1d20)>>1043900(Guess I'll try this again and I'll add a roll just in case that was the problem last time)Pick up the Swiss army Knife and the 3xPocket knives then go workout
Rolled 20, 7 + 2 = 29 (2d20 + 2)>>1043900>-1 Gangbanger, 2 Criminals (V. Hard)Duel equip deagles and shoot the gangbanger's torso
Rolled 5, 7, 17, 2, 11, 19 + 2 = 63 (6d20 + 2)>>1043900>Equip my TWO Antler 2s and rip Criminal A in half.
Rolled 8, 1, 6, 13 + 2 = 30 (4d20 + 2)>>1043900> Using The PERK for having 3 SPIRIT I shall try and obliterate Criminal B's right arm with Antlers IIITo bad it's not a ranged weapon, else I'd get more on that roll. You know, because of 5 Spirit?
>>1043923Forgot to add +1 for being slightly buff.
>>1043900Join up with Az and Aleera
>>1043954>>1043900Hack at Criminal A's left leg
Rolled 4 (1d20)>>1043982
>>1043900Okay, I fucked up only slightly.Aleera now has 500 Candy Canes, meaning she gets Holly Jolly Christmas.Blacker Baron now has the Antler II and 334 Canes, and loses Holly Jolly Christmas.>>1043915Azkeroth runs right into it and fires his Desert Eagles!The first bullet rocks through Gangbanger A's head!The second bullet finishes him off!>>1043918Blacker Baron uses his Antler II's to unleash terror!The first horn scratches.The second horn scratches.The third horn hits!The fourth horn misses.The fifth horn hits, killing Criminal A!>>1043923>>1043925Aleera lunges into Criminal B!The first horn scratches.The second horn misses.The third horn scratches.The fourth horn hits!>>1043954Glimmer slices Criminal B's left leg, but he's not done yet!-The City, 11th Street-Criminal B picks up the M4 Carbine and begins to fire! The four bullets strike Blacker Baron!Blacker Baron is in absolute peril!
Rolled 7, 6, 20, 8, 6, 5 = 52 (6d20)>>1043989>Rip and tear Criminal B.
Rolled 2, 17 + 2 = 21 (2d20 + 2)>>1043989>And just like that law prevailsAim at criminal B's head
>>1043989> Search for Mary to help out Baron.> bring her with me to help him out.
Rolled 18 (1d20)>>1043989(Really neat players lounge you got thereReal nice players too)Pick up the Swiss army Knife and the 3xPocket knives then go workout