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"Uh? Why? That doesn't make any sense!"

The tone of your voice, both desperate and confused, draws a sigh from the soldier next to
you. Both you and Pedro then stare into the gray sky and endless ocean from behind the
wet wood railing, as the brutal rain makes vapor and branching rivers in the mud. Yet it's
warm. It's a bit hard, looking trough the misted visor of the helmet that chokes your long
purple hair.

And he's wearing one too. "If someone is fat," Pedro resumes, as you hear little blunt bangs
over your head, "that is bad for him, or her. It fucks up the system, it weights on the bones
and makes running a whole lot harder. Imagine if you couldn't run."

"It would fucking suck." You state, dryly.

His visor turns to you. "Hey, language!"

And you face his serious, frowning face with a wide grin. His cheeks start to puff. Then you
both explode in laughter.

"Oh, crap. Oh, god-dammit," he says, hiding with hands the face behind the visor, "this can't
be my fault."

"Too late!" You state. Pedro said "fuck" one hundred and twenty-seven times ever since
you met, and you met three days.

"That is exactly what filters are for." He points out, eagerly. "You can fuck around and curse
around me all you want, but remember that lady by the restaurant."

"I know, I know," you nod. "Some people aren't ready."

"Well, as I was saying, if you see someone fat, and you actually give a fuck about him, you
bully him. Because you want to give him a reason to change, you want to remind him that
he's fucked up so he doesn't remain that way. That's what bullying is for. It's a grim reminder
that you fucked up, to prevent you from fucking up further. Remember to bully, Preah."
The old soldier grabs your hand, then as you turn he gets both of them between his. He
looks straight into your eyes from across both misted visors. "Remember to bully.

(Cont!)
>>
For the new anons (and those wondering):
http://pastebin.com/Q8ALVndU

Twitters:
@haremhorn
@roombachan

Archive:
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?tags=Himehorn911

...the abyss stares also into you.
http://i.imgur.com/fEw9vUm.jpg

Nyan and I were wondering how many of you are reading this quest, so let us know who's best girl!
>>
>>1030183

"I am."

You grumble. Aparently, getting your skull smashed over and over again by Atma's
greatsword of love isn't reason enough for Roomba to disregard the templar. Or hide from
her. Besides that, you could draw a few other easy conclusions from your war counseling
session with the Fake:

-Both you and Trash might be paranoid.

-Atma is a lovely girl who went through a lot.

-Atma isn't a genocide waiting to happen,

and, most importantly,

-Toast is ditching Vaal from the team.

What the fuck. When confronted with Atma's true berserker being, your tiny boss of a Fake
simply said that anyone can be nice. You included. She clearly doesn't expect that
someone ever confronts Atma over any reason whatsoever, which may also mean that she
never expects the Friend to sink. Which would be nice. Very nice.

Before Trash's happy field trip, Roomba decided to give the Friend a second glance.
She spent at least two hours talking with Vaal and Atma about furniture. The ship already
came with its own, but it didn't stop the three of them from spending a whole hour arguing
details. Even if the world was about to end. That talk must have been some serious fucking
business for them.

The shopping trip, at least, was fruitful. The place was big and smelled of wood, it had a
labyrinth of aisles, a tall roof, and you don't remember the name. You went out on your way
before anyone noticed, and once they did, the girl-scouts team found you next to a fine speed
lathe (a bit short for your taste, but it'll do), a CNC milling machine packed with a lot of
extras, a cheap as fuck coreless induction furnace, drawn over with the the face of a guy
with a creepy smile, and some crucibles and flasks. All already over a hovertruck. All ready
for delivery. Your little tool hunt got you a funny static face from the templar, and like ten
thousand questions from the little plague doctor. You wonder if the respect and awe you
got from the mask will be shared with the scared girl behind. A while from there, Blanky
and Toast finally came back from their own private journey around the market. Simply put,
the Friend is getting a little library, a gym (something that made Trash's eyes glimmer),
and a shit-ton of blankets and furniture. Right before you asked the toaster if her hidden
protocol triggered or if she had gone full-blown retarded, you realized Vaal paid for the bills.

"I got a call from a little girl." When Vaal said that, everyone knew who she was talking
about. It wasn't hard to tell; their faces were hard as reality. "Don't worry, I'll be back soon.
Her "friends" won't want me a mile near her after this."

Back at Trash's apartment, as the templar dials on her cellphone, you find yourself really
wondering what "this" could be.

(Cont!)
>>
"Nope, it's not picking." Trash squints at the cellphone, then turns to Roomba. "Bravado's
not taking the call."

"Is it working?" You ask.

Trash nods. "Just checked."

And your tiny warchief seems crestfallen. "Let's just hope he's ok." Roomba says, her voice
low. Toast, you barely even know the guy... thing. "Maybe we should call !'%& and his
team?"

"It would kill three birds in one stone." Roomba flinches just a bit at this."Kinda worried they'll
bullshit, though. It's starting to look bad. Seen the news?"

Roomba's eyes widen. You both turn to Trash.

"Captain slaughtered some guys that tried to poison the Herd by gifting cakes with weird
shit." Trash says. "Don't ask me how in the fuck she found out, but it's one hornmother down
and eleven guys, three womans, and even a little kid off the book." The look on Roomba's
face. It's like she doesn't understand. "And fuck me in the ass with a pulsar scythe if this book
could somehow have a happy ending."

Roomba just stares at the templar, then sighs on her own after a while. It's a long sigh. She
turns to you. "Nielly? Input?".
>>
>>1035579
"There's plenty of room for a happy ending, though it's not likely to be a happy ending for both the horns and the rest of the second. Cap either goes all out and takes the ship as her own, and the humans get to find out what being a second class citizen is like or the horns get the hell out of here and go nomadic leaving the rest of the second happy but the horns in a new kind of unpleasant situation.

Either way they should make a policy of making anyone who wants to gift a cake eat a bite of it before they accept it.

Hey Trash, did Bravado say anything to you about what he was doing before you found him, or mentioned anything about what he was going to do after? He might just be in some containment EKE at the moment though."
>>
>>1035579

"There is no way to make both sides happy."
>>
You don't even look at Roomba. "There's plenty of room for a happy ending, though it's not
likely to be a happy ending for both the horns and the rest of the Second." In one fluid
motion, you get both hands behind your head and let your back fall into the couch. Pomf.
"Cap either goes all out and takes the ship as her own, and the humans get to find out what
being a second-class citizen is like, or the horns get the hell out of here and go nomadic
leaving the rest of the Second happy, but the horns in a new kind of unpleasant situation."

"Knowing Cap, she's trying to intimidate." It's Trash, bouncing a bit like a monkey as she
squats over the couch. "Then again, I didn't exactly fuck her, so she may have gone full
White for all I know." Still at it, she scratches her head. "It just seems out of character."

"Will that happen to me, then?" This sweet, toasty voice comes, obviously, from the
glorified toaster at the couch right of yours. As you turn your heavy head to look, Toast seems
to be shrinking. "Captain tried to be nice with the Second, to show them himehorns aren't
mean or stupid. But they didn't want to believe that." She pauses, her eyes fallen. "Is this the
only other way, then?"

"You either convince or intimidate, Toasty." Says Trash, then yawns. "Fail at the first, go to
the second. Fail at the second, go to third."

"Killing everyone in sight." You add, with a hint of static. "Either way, they should make a policy
of making anyone who wants to gift a cake eat a bite of it before they accept it."

You hear a chuckle. It's Roomba, suddenly smiling a bit. "We are talking about
hornmothers, they take the cake even if it's not theirs, and even if they had their ration before."

"Little shits be like cake cleaning devices. Either that or walking toothpicks." You push
your head a bit more to look at Trash. The hornmother with the bandana is right behind
the templar, pouting widely. You wonder if she knows. "Also good for scratching your elbows".

"Hey Trash, did Bravado say anything to you about what he was doing before you found him,
or mentioned anything about what he was going to do after?" Just then she stops and
stares at you. "He might just be in some containment EKE at the moment, though."

"To be honest, fuck if I know." You hear Roomba sighing as you look at Trash talk.
"Nitroliches are some weird shit, that's why you get so little of them lately. So who the fuck do I
call?"

You take another glance around; Moody is nowhere to be found. She asked Atma to stay
with her on the Friend, which is weird given how anti-social she is. Even with the mask on.
Hmm. All that stuff you just bought, the massive ships, the hovercrafts that Trash
commissioned... It seems that, when you are cute, kind, happy, and toasty, people want to
give you money. Hmm...!!
>>
>>1036315
> It seems that, when you are cute, kind, happy, and toasty, people want to give you money. Hmm...!!
Well at least some people. Though even if it's only a subset of the population exposure is the key to maximizing Toast's yield. This requires further plotting to be done, but perhaps we can make a bit of an impact here and make some cash in the process.

"Well if you don't want to call !’%& and company then your only other option is that Preah and that Inked guy... I don't see the latter being too productive so there's your answer."

Also hey memory core, what the fuck did Toast say about ditching Blanky?
>>
You shift around in the couch, attempting max comfy-ness just like a dog spinning around in
place before seating. It's a hard process that takes dutiful effort, and you lose track of them,
but once the choice as been made you find both Trash and Toast still staring at you.

"Well," you start, without hurry, "if you don't want to call !'%& and company then your only
other option is that Preah and that Inked guy... I don't see the latter being too productive so
there's your answer."

Roomba nods. "Ok." She looks a Trash, who just then starts dialing on the phone.

(Cont!)
>>
It's the Friend's balcony, which surrounds almost the whole side of the ship. Only you and
Roomba walks through it, admiring the massiveness of the Second's hangar from
behind the railing. A place big enough to house dozens of hulking metal monsters like this one.

"Both options end in tears." You shrug, as Roomba looks all around at the side of the
railing. "Vaal is lethal enough, Lumina is smart enough, and you're you enough to cover
everything she offers. Personally, I wouldn't take her even if she volunteers to go along for
free, but I'll leave it to your judgment if that will end poorly too."

The Fake giggles. "She's not that bad. And I'm sure she doesn't like that one bit either. If Atma
truly is the berserker type then she has to be so out of need. I'm sure she'd do everything
she can to avoid going into a frenzy when it's uncalled. Think about it." Her glance sticks on
you. "Atma's been living in family enough for years now, and I'm very very sure she had to
face things worst than you." She giggles.

"We will face things worst than me," you remind her, "very very much worst than me."

"And I'm not taking Vaal into the team."

"What."

She turns her head to you, looking slightly concerned. It goes away quick.

"I've been thinking about it. Vaal is very strong, but her only strength lies in something I'm
trying to avoid. I don't want the Support Center to be feared, and I don't need someone who
can't save people."

"She can." You point out. "Actually, Blanky should be brutally good at-"

"By killing the source." Roomba points out, rising a finger at you."That's not what I want.
When things get ugly here, If things do get ugly in the end, Vaal will be able to perfectly fend off
for herself. She has the resources." She shakes her head. "I'd rather leave that spot to
someone who wouldn't make it on-"

"I wonder if we'll get wind through the EKE shield." Suddenly Vaal is right in front of
Roomba, staring down at the hangar."

Roomba closes her eyes and smiles, a thing she does a lot. "Where's Trash?"

"Oh, she cut her finger with a broken nail, so I kissed it better." Blanky is smiling too, yet too
widely. "She'll be back soon."

(Cont!)
>>
The phone starts beeping, loudly slowly. Trash leaves it in the middle of the table, and even
the What leans closer to listen.

beeeep

beeeeeep

beeeeeeep

boop

"Ooooooooh, an uncle." The voice has a depth you can't quite place anywhere. Most of the
time people talk they place, whether they want to or not, a certain rhythm to their voice that
sometimes says more than their words. Here, it isn't there. At all. "Hello, uncle."

"Heya." The templar replies, blankly. "You busy? We're doing the interviews over the
phone now."

You hear a bit of static, and some dim, blunt noises. You glance at Roomba, who was just
glancing at you, and for some silly reason, that makes the Fake grin.

"Ok." The voice finally replies. "I'm coming."

"...Wait." Trash warns, suddenly pouting. "That's no-" beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

She raises her face to Roomba.

Your boss simply nods. "I know," she just says.

Trash sighs. "Well fuck that, we should call someone else in the meantime."
>>
>>1035351

>Currently being reprogrammed to be moe.
Oh lord...

Also, nice to see you finally did that pastebin!
The herd is proud of you, for recovering the lost herdrecords!
>>
>>1037067
"If you want then call !'%&... or maybe text the Inked? Might be more articulate in writing. 'A picture is worth a thousand words' my ass.

Meanwhile I've got some ideas brewing and along with them questions that need answering. Toast, how do you plan on dealing with the Laeteli problem without Blanky to protect you from the boogey... girl? Either she'll need to think we're still filming scat porn or she'll need to think Blanky is still around... unless Blanky just so happens to be out informing them her doomsday beacon has a new home in the form of our ship. If not then we have a problem, keeping your mission a secret from her would be counterproductive and bluffing that Vaal is still around is going to be tricky unless Vaal is willing to go into hiding and we're willing to fake her presence and capabilities. I mean we probably could pull it off, but it'd be a real pain in the ass that we could easily avoid.

As long as we don't go the hiding route we should plan on making an announcement of your projects grand opening around the time we are going to leave. Some way of announcing who we are and what stations we'll be listening on at least. Correct me if I'm wrong Trash but pulling another billboard hijack after White's little show is going to be fucking impossible right?

On that note how do you feel about establishing a currency Toast? Call 'em RoomBux for laughs. You've mentioned working for favors before so why not sell favors too? One RoomBux equals one half hour of ass saving. I could go make a die and press a few dozen brass coins for you with our frequencies on one side and a randomized serial number on the other to deter counterfeiting. If you give them out, preferably in person, and explain what they're for along with expressing that you'd appreciate them passing the word around about the project you'll get plenty of publicity and maybe a bit more I bet. Give them out to the horn lovers who helped get them over to Cap's safely, they're probably fairly well connected themselves and you won't be at much risk talking to them. If the beancounter has a better idea feel free to speak up...

Heh, Beans and Toast. Perfect."
>>
"If you want then call !'%&... or maybe text the Inked?" You do the humblest shrug ever, very
barely lifting your shoulders. "Might be more articulate in writing. 'A picture is worth a
thousand words' my ass."

"Well, see..." Trash scratches her head, but this time she seems to make a whole scenery out
of it. You raise an eyebrow, and Roomba leans just a bit closer to the templar. "...it can't write."

And Roomba blinks. "It can't write." She blinks again.

"Yyyyyyeaaah..." Trash adds. "Pretty much. You can talk to the thing, and it gets every
word, it's just... it doesn't understand letters, I guess."

You stare at the templar in modest awe. Much like a dragon would if her hoard was a couch.

"That's quite the detail." Roomba nods, as if to nowhere in particular.

"I fucking know, I forgot to tell you, but first of all the thing is learning fast, a lot of em already
have, and if doesn't even fucking need it if you stick a headset over its helmet." Trash "calmly"
explains, motioning so much with her hands to your little boss that you worry that a karate
chop will slip by. "It's perfectly fucking viable, just stick it on a ship and send it off to save
people."

Roomba looks up then pauses; then nods to herself. "Well, Preah is already coming, so...
call !'%&? We could interview the rest of them later."

"Sure." Trash takatakataka.

"Meanwhile," you raise your voice over the static, hard enough to slightly startle the other
Fake, "I've got some ideas brewing and along with them questions that need answering."

"Sure." Roomba does the Roomba thing; closing her eyes and smiling.

You wonder why that makes Trash glare at her. "Toast, how do you plan on dealing with the
Leateli problem without Blanky to protect you from the boogey-" You stop in time, your mouth
gaping. "...girl?" That oughtta do it. Both Trash and Roomba react at once, once staring at the
Fake and the other pointing at the cellphone. "Either she'll need to think we're still filming
scat porn or she'll need to think Blanky is still around... unless Blanky just so happens to be
out informing them her doomsday beacon has a new home in the form of our ship."

Roomba pats her forehead. "That's right, I had forgotten about that!"

"You letting Corny off the leash?" When Trash asks, her voices waves in pinch. You wonder
what that means.

"If not then we have a problem," you resume, speaking bluntly, "keeping your mission a
secret from her would be counter-productive and bluffing that Vaal is still around is going to
be tricky unless Vaal is willing to go into hiding and we're willing to fake her presence and
capabilities." You wait until it seems that the toaster has the puzzle more or less figured out.
"I mean we probably could pull it off, but it'd be a real pain the ass we could easily avoid."

"Mark that under 'non-doable' unless we rape everyone in the ship on a daily basis," Trash
hurries to point out, "and also outside. But seriously, you don't want the Corny?"

Roomba "hmms".

(C)
>>
"It's not like I don't want her." Roomba does a silent giggle, like a blushing, little spasm. "Vaal
has been very nice to all of us from the start."

"VERY." Trash adds.

"I just can't see how her skills will help us." Roomba opens both palms to the sides. "Vaal
is strong, and brave, and very kind, and you are very lucky to have her-"

"VERY."

"-but she's exclusively an assassin." Roomba raises a finger, while her smile fades. "I don't
want death. I don't want to kill. I want to believe we can make do without it. It's so easy to kill,
but so much, just so much is lost..." The tiny fake shakes her features, her eyes open and
shiny. "I don't want us to be seen like that."

Trash scratches her head, then goes from squatting over the couch to landing over it with
her butt through a little jump.

Trash then does something unusual; she looks deeply into the toaster, turning fully at her.
Toast, a bit surprised, does the same.

"If you can pull that out, Toasty," Trash says, smiling bitterly, "it would be very very fucking
awesome. If you can make it all better without blood on the walls, then crap, I'll let you fuck
my brains out too." Roomba goes full-blushing but looks aside. "Hey. Hey, Look at me." And
yet, Trash's pretty serious. "We still need to be ready for when worst comes to worst. Not even
Horny- Leaderhorn for you, Nielly," she glances at you, "could pull that out, so trust me, I
learned that the hard way." She looks at Roomba, truly calm. "We need killers.
Weapons, the very best we can get. Whether we end up using them or not it's a different
story, but going down there naked, with food, and expecting them not to feed out of us is not
only stupid." Trash leans back, away from Toast. "It's plain impolite. It's like expecting your
cat to not to eat the hamster instead of locking the thing in a cage. And then being mad at it.
Do you understand, Toasty?" She leans forward again. "You would be disregarding their
pain."

Roomba downcasts her eyes. She silently nods at the templar, over and over.

"It doesn't have to be Vaal, but you need muscle." Trash points out, then takes a cookie
from the hornmother's hands. "Yough ghout ghoices."

"Thank you," Roomba says, without neither a hint of warmth or sadness.

"As long as we don't go the hiding route we should plan on making an announcement of
your projects grand opening around the time we are going to leave." You make both of them
turn at you. "Some way of announcing who we are and what stations we'll be listening on at
least."

"Doable." It's Trash, obviously.

You blink, but slowly and without confusion. "Correct me if I'm wrong, Toast, but pulling
another billboard hijack after White's little show is going to be fucking impossible right?"

"Absolutely fucking impossible." Trash nods, eagerly. "Unless they are the ones that to
do it. And I'd be thrice-fucked in the ass with a steel beam if they'd do that for us."

You raise an eyebrow. "So?"

"I have no fucking idea." Trash smiles widely.

(Cont)
>>
You don't even pout at her. It seems this ones up to you.

You shift your heavy, sturdy, yet gorgeous body towards the bread-burner. "On that note,
how do you feel about establishing a currency Toast?"

"Currency?" They both say at once.

"Call 'em RoomBu for laughs." Slowly, you drag your upper body up with an invisible crane. The
shit you put up with. "You've mentioned working for favors before so why not sell favors
too?"

Trash chuckles, Roomba turns at her. "Sorry, I'm being childish."

Since when the fuck does she apologize? "You've mentioned working for favors before,"
they turn back to you," so why not sell favors too? One RoomBux equals one half hour of
ass-saving." You smile faintly at her. You like how she seems to react to your every word
differently. And even if you can tell she already wants to talk, she still waits for you to finish. "I
could go make a die and press a few dozen brass coins for you with our frequencies on one
side and a randomized serial number on the other to deter counterfeiting. If you give them
out, preferably in person, and explain what they're for along with expressing that you'd
appreciate them passing the word around about the project you'll get plenty of publicity
and maybe a bit more I bet." And yet she still waits for you to finish, even if she's already
kind of shaking. It draws a little grin from you, she must be about to disagree. "Give them out
to the horn lovers who helped get them over to Cap's safely, they're probably fairly well
connected themselves and you won't be at much risk talking to them. If the beancounter
has a better idea feel free to speak up..." You chuckle. "Beans and Toast. Perfect."

"...Beancounter?" Slowly, Roomba takes a look around the whole room. Until her eyes are met
with Trash, who looks as neutral as usual.

"Trash is already a nickname, you know." She says, then yawns. She yawns too much. "We'll
end up with so many that no one will know who the fuck we are talking about." Beans stays still
for a while; then summons an all-out yawn all of a sudden. It lasts a while, and it even seems
painful. "That being said, we should call the guys."

Roomba nods. Trash spawns the cellphone without even looking at it, dials, and puts it on
the table.

"Would you look at that, and here I was won-"

Trash pretty much dunks over the table in order to shut it down. Once the templar looks up, she
finds both you and Roomba leaning away.

"Wrong number." Trash's sweating. If her feelings really are that dampened... It had to be
someone truly worthy of fear on the other side of the line. Hmm. "Fuck, fuck, sec please."

Trash leaves the phone at the center of the table as she slides out.

"By the way," Roomba says, her peace a bit forced, "who should I interview first?" "Nielly?"

She's smiling. Did she forget, is she dodging the question, what about my RoomBux?!
>>
>>1041927
*sigh* Toast can probably dance around a subject like a ballerina. May as well answer her question and pick the idea up again in a lull.

"Of the package deal trio? Depends, you're the people person: Who do you think is going to give the others the least new ideas about lying? Who do you think would be the weakest at hiding their lying for the next one? After those two the last and most slippery one is fenced in by the other two's answers. If you ask questions about the other two of each of them then you can cross validate to some degree.

Also Beans is right, better to have a weapon and never need it than to not have one when you do need it. If you disagree then why carry that ring?"
>>
"Of the package deal trio?" Roomba nods. "Depends, you're the people person: Who do
you think is going to give the others the least new ideas about lying?" You slide your back
against the couch until your knee is at the same height than your truly dark crimson hair.
"Who do you think would be the weakest at hiding their lying for the next one? After those
two the last and most slippery one is fenced in by the other two's answers. If you ask
questions about the other two of each of them then you can cross validate to some degree."

Roomba "hmms!", gleefully. "Deso!".

You open both palms to the sides, even if just a tiny little bit. That's your job. "Also Beans is
right, better to have a weapon and never need it than to not have one when you do need it."

Roomba quivers. "I'd... rather never need it."

"Then why carry that ring?" You grin at her sharply, and as she turns at you and the phone
ring she's met with a sly, Vaal-tier stare. It's promptly broken as she looks at the phone.

beeep

beeeeep

beeep

"If it isn't Trash." It's a male voice; !'%&'s voice.

"Buy me something before calling me that." Yet the templar doesn't seem to mind. "We've
decided to do the interviews by phone. Mind calling Deso?"

You hear some background noise. "Hang on a second, Deso's doing the biggest card pyramid
and she's just about to..."

"---aaaaaaaaaaaaa meanmeanmeanmeanmean---"

"Hey, nevermind!" More background noises. You hear !'%&'s voice from away. Everyone
around, even the hornmother and the What, leans closer to listen. "...and that's why you
never have to let your guard down... -meanmeanmean!- it's really tempting to think
it's gonna be alright already, but just one missstep...." Static noises. Suddenly, a big blunt
noise. "It's out interviewer. She wants to talk to Deso." "Maximus." "Oh yeah? Deso,
mountain!" "Maximus!" "Still, big guy."

Aaaaaand... "Hi." Her voice is blunt and monotonous, yet somehow full of energy.

"Hi!" Of course, the toaster seems happy to reply. "Hi, Deso! We wanted to ask you some
questions!" She's beaming. "Think you'll be up to it?"

The voice comes with some delay. "Ok."

Roomba nods to herself, grinning hard.

(Cont in a while!)
>>
Roomba clears her Fake throat, a useless manner. "In this interview, I'm going to ask
some rather tough questions that might bring up bad memories for you. Out of anyone I will
treat you guys with the greatest kindness and sympathy possible but to be blunt this job takes
lives. It breaks people. Kindness takes strength, am an inhuman amount at times. I
need to know these things so I don't put you into situations you can't handle."

"It's ok. I can do inhuman things."

"Is that so?" Roomba smiles. "You walk into your apartment, Leateli is sitting down to a cup
of tea with a side of armed hostage-taking. What do you do?"

“Hi, Leateli. You always have to greet them.” Muffled sounds in the background. “But she’s
still a somebody.” Sighs in the background.

"A stubborn horn mother is on the radio insisting she can drive the ship just fine... right
after you tell her how to get it out of reverse. It hasn't crashed yet, but the odds aren't good.
What do you do?"

“I don’t understand it.” Muffled sounds in the background. “Hmm. Yes then.” More muffled
sounds in the background. “That’s mean.”

"A ship calls in requesting some Anima to fuel their ship after forgetting to activate hover
mode over-night. What do you do?"

“You shouldn’t touch anima. If you touch anima you see weird things and it’s also bad for you.”

"What is the biggest problem you've had to face and how have you overcome it?"

“People used to be mean, but I can be mean too.”

"What is less stressful for you: working on your own or having someone work with you?"

“I don’t want to be alone.”

"What approach do you prefer to problem solving: the tried and true approach you know,
or trying new ideas and adjusting them as you go?"

“Learning things is fun.”

"What would you rather have to deal with (non-violently): A hornmother's tantrum or a radar
malfunction?"

“I like hornmothers.”

(Cont!)
>>
"What are your motivations for joining me, Money? Fame? Boredom? Altruism? or
perhaps something else entirely?"

“I like your glasses. I think they are very pretty.”

“Thank you! I think your hat is cute! At what point does making money outweigh having a
meaningful job for you? Assuming you have a roof over your head at least."

“I want money to get a big ball.”

Roomba giggles hard, then her smile is cut short out of nowhere. She looks at Trash; the
Templar shakes her head, and even her finger, at her. The Fake nods. It was the death
question.

"What is your greatest strength, what is your greatest weakness?"

“I’m very brave. I’m afraid of sharp things.”

"Would you rather be respected or well-liked?"

“I want to be the Judge of a big ship and tell everyone its ok now, because problems don't
fix themselves.”

"What's your favorite dessert?"

“Those cookies were nice. I tried to do them. Those weren’t nice.” Muffled sounds in the
background. “They were? I didn’t like them.” More muffled sounds in the background. Then
laughter. "Mean!"

"Do you know if there are any kind people you don't get along with easily?"

“Yes. Mean people. Like !'%&.”

"Fill in the blanks: violence is blank, kindness is blank, fame is blank, money is blank"

“Violence is mean, kindness is nice, fame is nice, money is nice.”

"Someone says to you that this is all pointless because everyone will starve eventually and
humanity will be destroyed, how do you respond?"

“Those persons need hugs.”

(Cont!)
>>
"Are you OK with hugs and similar contact?"

“Don't let strangers touch you. They could be mean.”

"How are your people skills? Can you bluff your way out of a bad situation? Can you calm
somebody who is panicking or angry? Can you tell when a fight is likely to break out? Can you
spot when someone is trying to con you? Can you bargain for a good deal?"

“What?” Muffled sounds in the background. “Ah! Eh… “How are your people skills? Can
you calm your way out of a… panicking… Can you fight when someone is trying to con you?
Can you, um… Did I do it right?” More muffled sounds in the background. “Can you repeat the
questions?”

Roomba is positively gleaming. “How about this, let’s do a special test! But only if you tell
!’%& and Maximus not to cheat.”

“Ok. No cheat!” Muffled sounds. “No cheat!” Muffled heavy sounds.

“Repeat after me: ‘I’, ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘K’, ‘5’.”

“‘I’, ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘K’, ‘5’.”

“Well done! How about this: ‘Banana’, ‘Apple’, ‘Banana’, ‘Mango’, ‘Banana’, ‘Banana’.

“’Banana’, ‘Apple’, ‘Banana’…” Roomba leans closer to listen. Her eyes squint. “...’Mango’,
‘Banana’, ‘Banana’, and ‘Banana’!”

“You are very good at this, Deso!”

“Thank you.” Roomba beams up, actually smiling at the cellphone. Because neither
Maximus nor !’%& can draw, that’s for damn sure.

"How are your emergency skills? Can you bandage a wound and splint a broken limb?
Does the sight of blood make you feel faint? Can you do basic ship repairs?"

“I’m really good at cards!”

“Then I’ll play you sometime, I’m really good too!”

“Ok!”

"Do you have any piloting skills? If so what kinds of ships?"

“I have a hovercraft. It's mine, I can ride it and !'%& is telling me how to fix it. Sometimes he
breaks it on purpouse and he thinks I don't know. Then tells me how to fix it. Then I fix it.”
This makes Trash smile hard. You kinda wish Blanky was here now.

(Cont!)
>>
"How are your combat skills? What kinds of opponents would you feel confident fighting?
What kind of opponents are you poorly matched against?"

“!’%&, and Maximus.”

“Oh, so how’s that?”

“!’%& is easy-“ “Hey!” “-but Maximus is reaaaaally big!”

"Do you have any other unique skills you haven't been asked about yet? What skill would
you say that you are best with?

“I, um…” muffled sounds in the background, then a 'shhhh!' clearly from Deso. “Can I tell
you a secret?”

“Of course! I’ll keep it safe for you.” And also Trash, and the What, and the hornmother, and
you will too, for sure.

“I’m a Hand.”

“Ooooooh, is that so?”

“I’m very strong! I can move big things and I’m also very fast!”

“Woah!”

“If I touch something long enough, it becomes easy to move! I can move ships, but !’%& tells
me I shouldn’t do it because people don’t like it.”

“Wow, that's so amazing! Really! Deso, what would your motto be?”

She clears her throat. “You can’t be happy and normal!” Muffled laughter in the background.

“If you could have a room for you aboard the ship, what would it have?”

“A passwords that only works if you dance the right way!”

Roomba grins. “Anything else besides that?”

“A dojo!”

“Oh, you like fighting, Deso?”

“It’s fun!”

“I see! What makes you happy?”

“!’%&.” “Awww fuck.” muffled laughter in the background.

Roomba gestures at you with her head. "This is Nielly, my friend. She's going to ask you a few
things, too."

"Hi Nielly."
>>
>>1043566
Hey memory core, what the fuck do I know about Hand physiology and what do I know about the Big Brothers? Specifically how do Hands react to injuries and how Big Brothers relate to hands (bothers, mentors, trainers, tamers?)
>>
Hands, while not invulnerable, have proven very resilient to most weapons. They can be
killed by conventional means like explosives, nukes, railguns, and even EKE Fields, but
given their natural capabilities this alternative often turns to be very expensive.

Hands kill one another by wrapping their flexible bodies around each other and
compressing their enemy until the core is crushed. First attempts at copying this
technique involved surrounding Hands with a circular EKE Field which got continously
smaller. This method is known as 'shrinking', and while illegal, it has become a tool of torture
between dissenting factions. The final evolution of this method was the manufacturing of
Armas, who can utilize their GOG gas to the same end.

Big Brothers live together with Hands. They have a strong established culture revolving
around them. This race of very big humans is mostly known for their silent, firm demeanor. A
Big Brother wakes up and does the same thing all day for its tribe, over and over every single
way. Their culture seems to frown upon direct communication, so Big Brothers connect with
the world and each other through meaningful actions.
>>
>>1044234
>>1043566
Huh, so never going to need to patch her up. Either she's good or she's dead. Well then let's see if we can dig a bit more information out of her:

"!’%& teaches you about fixing your hovercraft, what else does he teach you about? What about Maximus?

What do you like to do? Do you like to help people?"
>>
You lean a bit closer to the cellphone.

"!’%& teaches you about fixing your hovercraft," you say, across a hint of static, "what else does
he teach you about?"

"Uuuuum, doing dishes, to be careful with salt, why rags take on all the water, that people
sometimes don't mean what they say, to not touch anima again, yoga-" Muffled sounds in
the background. Do they really think we aren't listening? "Everything!"

"What about Maximus?"

"Maximus is big."

"Is he teaching you things too?"

"Maximus says "Maximus" a lot and that's not important."

"What do you like to do?"

"I like to jump."

"Do you like to help people?"

"Yes."
>>
>>1044919
"Sometimes things are just as clear and simple as they seem it seems" *shrug* "Next?"
>>
"Sometimes things are just as clear and simple as they seem it seems" you declare, shrugging.
"Next?"

"Yeah, the first aid test is a little besides the point." Trash adds, pensively. "Toasty, who's
next?"

The glorified toaster leans over the cellphone. "Good job Deso, that would be all. Could you
tell Maximus to get the cellphone?"

"Ok."

The hornmother flinches at the blunt sound that took you aback. Some wind is heard, as if the
cellphone was lifted into the sky.

"Maximus."

"Hello, Maximus." Says Roomba, smiling as usual. "Ready for your interview."

"Maximus."

Third person speech. Huh.

Roomba frowns a little. "Hmmm... should I skip the disclaimer? I think all of them heard me."

"Yeah, go ahead." Trash pats the What's head. "Why are you so quiet now?"

The What doesn't respond.

(Cont!)
>>
"You walk into your apartment, Leateli is sitting down to a cup of tea with a side of armed
hostage-taking. What do you do?"

“Maximus would run far, far away. To better lands with green fields and dark stories around
the bonfire.”

"A stubborn horn mother is on the radio insisting she can drive the ship just fine... right
after you tell her how to get it out of reverse. It hasn't crashed yet, but the odds aren't good.
What do you do?"

“Maximus would teach her how to drive it well. Maximus is patient, and hornmother wants to
learn.”

"A ship calls in requesting some Anima to fuel their ship after forgetting to activate hover
mode over night. What do you do?"

“Maximus would trade.”

"What is the biggest problem you've had to face and how have you overcome it?"

“Maximus used to serve the Third.”

“During the Chasm, right?” It’s Trash, suddenly leaning further. “Big guy, what were you
doing?”

“Maximus was cook.”

“So, how did you live through it?”

“Maximus jumped.”

“From the Befimith?”

“Maximus.”

“Fuck.” Trash smiles.

Roomba looks at Trash, hesitating until the Templar nods at her. "What is less stressful for
you: working on your own or having someone work with you?"

“Maximus is teamwork.”

"What approach do you prefer to problem solving: the tried and true approach you know,
or trying new ideas and adjusting them as you go?"

“Maximus favors discipline and structure.”

(Cont!)
>>
"What would you rather have to deal with (non-violently): A hornmother's tantrum or a radar
malfunction?"

“Maximus is patient.”

“So hornmother or radar?” It’s !’%&, from the other side.

“Maximus.”

“Well, there you go.”

"What are your motivations for joining me, Money? Fame? Boredom? Altruism? or
perhaps something else entirely?"

“Maximus thinks his skills would be wasted elsewhere.”

"At what point does making money outweigh having a meaningful job for you? Assuming you
have a roof over your head at least."

“Maximus thinks these are hard times. In hard times, Maximus helps.”

"Have you experienced someone dying? Can you recover from it relatively quickly? Can you
handle someone who is dying with compassion?"

“Maximus is friends with death. Dead don’t starve, dead don’t worry. Maximus wants to
worry, though, for the living. Living is worrying.”

"What is your greatest strength, what is your greatest weakness?"

“Maximus is Maximus, and Maximus is too big.”

"Would you rather be respected or well-liked?"

“Maximus thinks respect is built brick by brick, while liked is the painting of a pretty house.”

"What's your favorite dessert?"

“Maximus would bite a brick instead of Deso’s cooking.” “meanmeanmeanmeanmeanmeanmean-”

"Do you know if there are any kind people you don't get along with easily?"

“Maximus doesn’t like Armas that much.”

"Fill in the blanks: violence is blank, kindness is blank, fame is blank, money is blank"

“Violence is life, kindness is hard, fame isn’t you, money is manipulated.”

"Someone says to you that this is all pointless because everyone will starve eventually and
humanity will be destroyed, how do you respond?"

“Maximus would throw Deso at them.” “-meanmeanmeanmeanmeanmeanmean-“

(Cont!)
>>
"Are you OK with hugs and similar contact?"

“It’s hard to hug Maximus. Deso is climbing Maximus.” You hear a few background noises.
“Deso is Maximus’s hat.”

Roomba’s cheek get a little red as she grins. "How are your people skills? Can you bluff your
way out of a bad situation? Can you calm somebody who is panicking or angry? Can you
tell when a fight is likely to break out? Can you spot when someone is trying to con you? Can
you bargain for a good deal?"

“Maximus is good at intimidating even when Maximus doesn’t want to. Maximus can’t bluff if
he has to talk. Maximus is very bad at calming people Maximus doesn’t know. Nobody ever
fights with Maximus. Maximus gets conned a lot. Maximus got conned by !’%& but he can’t
prove it. !’%& uses Maximus to bargain, Maximus just has to stand behind him.”

"How are your emergency skills? Can you bandage a wound and splint a broken limb?
Does the sight of blood make you feel faint? Can you do basic ship repairs?"

“Maximus is tribal medic. Maximus thinks blood is life. Maximus can’t fix ships.”

"Do you have any piloting skills? If so what kinds of ships?"

“Maximus can’t pilot.”

"How are your combat skills? What kinds of opponents would you feel confident fighting?
What kind of opponents are you poorly matched against?"

“Maximus is very hard to take down. Maximus main functionality is to provide EKE shields and
to share anima mid-combat. Maximus is a support. Maximus role is passive, given that
Maximus is focused on regenerating anima as fast as he can.”

"Do you have any other unique skills you haven't been asked about yet? What skill would
you say that you are best with?

“Maximus thinks he’s best at making people quiet.”

“What would your motto be?”

“Maximus’s motto would be ‘you can’t be happy and normal’.”

“If you could have a room for you aboard the ship, what would it have?”

“Maximus would like a very big bed.”

“What makes you happy?”

“Maximus likes to see things grow.”

(Cont!)
>>
"I was just wondering," she's doing the Roomba thing towards a cellphone, it seems
it's time for Roomba questions, "why do you always speak in third person?"

"Maximus got really used to it."

"I see. Nielly?"
>>
>>1045514
"... did he say generating Anima?"

"Could you tell us just how you make people quiet?"

"If Trash, say, got a shard of glass lodged in her scalp how would you treat her?"
>>
You pause a bit before answering to Roomba, squinting your eyes just the right way. "... did
he say generating anima?"

"'Temp' anima." It's a templar, somewhere near you. "Anima harvests gravity some-fucking-how
and then you use it with ADs. It takes time to recharge." Trash points out, gesturing a power
bar with both of her hands while one slowly goes up. "If Maximus here could generate
anima, he wouldn't be asking for a job at a Support Center, he would be shitting and
laughing all day."

"Could you tell us just how you make people quiet?" You turn from Trash to the cellphone.

"Maximus just stands there. Maximus thinks assault is failure."

You glance, who's Roomba nodding silently.

"If Trash, say, got a shard of glass lodged in her scalp," you resume, bluntly, "how would
you treat her?"

"Maximus would wish her a peaceful trip to the High One." Muffled sounds in the background.
"Maximus is not good at jokes, Maximus is too serious. Maximus would check the wound for
plaster, look for the root of glass, wash the wound with water and soap, put haria in-"

"-Turmeric. Haria is turmeric." It's !'%&'s voice.

"-put turmeric in wound, wait hour, heat tweezers with alcohol, then ask Deso to
remove glass because hands are too big. If shards remain, duct tape."
>>
>>1046021
"Temp anima is still pretty useful. Particularly if we have other AD users on the team. I think I'll be handling any medical emergencies though. Do you have anything else Toast?"
>>
"Temp anima is still pretty useful." You glance at the templar. "Particuarly if we have other AD
users on the team."

"Most are." Trash glances back. "And if worst comes to worst, we can use our own temp
anima from the dEKE to stabilize the ship's EKE Field. Good stuff."

"I think I'll be handling any medical emergencies, though." You give a sharp little
smile. "Do you have anything else, Toast?"

She shakes her head and horns. "That would be all, thank you Maximus." Toast says. "It's
!'%&'s turn now."

Suddenly the line goes quiet. It's surprising in that, so far, not even the silence was silent.

And then: "Hello Roomba."

"Hello !'%&. Ready for the interview?"

"Yeah. Go ahead."

(Cont!)
>>
"You walk into your apartment, Leateli is sitting down to a cup of tea with a side of armed
hostage-taking. What do you do?"”

“I would imply that the hostage is a murderer I’m after, and tell her to kill it. Odds are that the
demon will let it live.”

"A stubborn horn mother is on the radio insisting she can drive the ship just fine... right
after you tell her how to get it out of reverse. It hasn't crashed yet, but the odds aren't good.
What do you do?"

“Tell her to be careful with the self-destruct button.”

"A ship calls in requesting some Anima to fuel their ship after forgetting to activate hover
mode over-night. What do you do?"

Someone chuckles. “Help, of course. Isn’t that what we are for?”

"What is the biggest problem you've had to face and how have you overcome it?"

“Deso.” Muffled background ‘means’. “Just kidding. Still dealing with that one.” ‘Mean’
protocol ensues further as he speaks. “

"What is less stressful for you: working on your own or having someone work with you?"

“Eh, I’d rather work with a team. Don’t have eyes on my nape, if you know what I mean.”

"What approach do you prefer to problem solving: the tried and true approach you know,
or trying new ideas and adjusting them as you go?"

“You start with the tried and true then switch for the new and tasty when everything goes to
hell.”

"What would you rather have to deal with (non-violently): A hornmother's tantrum or a radar
malfunction?"

“A radar malfunction is actually dangerous, a hornmother is just basic.” Your hornmother
doesn’t seem to like that comment. “Some smart guy could have infiltrated the ship to
deactivate it beforehand. You won’t see his friends coming for your booty that way.”

“But if you could deal with one or the other, which would you choose?”

“Guess I’ll go with the radar. Not by a long shot, though.”

"What are your motivations for joining me, Money? Fame? Boredom? Altruism? Or
perhaps something else entirely?"

“There are innocent people down there. I know it. And I think their lives are more than worth
the risk. What am I worth If I just stand here doing nothing, right?”

Roomba seems serious, but she nods to herself. "At what point does making money
outweigh having a meaningful job for you? Assuming you have a roof over your head at
least."

!’%& chuckles. “Why would I fight for money, I mean what’s the point? This isn’t about that.
This is about something deeper. A bond, between all living things, fighting together to
stay alive. And we’ve got to protect that bond!”

And yes, Roomba keeps on nodding.

(Cont!)



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