>>1060667
No

Yayyy

>>1060667
No

This is getting good

>>1060667
No

> Go out to eat at that new Italian place.

Guys I think the waitress should be our waifu.

Another no and I'm going to close this thread.

>>1060714
Yeah let's go get italian instead

>>1060715
Mabey

>>1060714
Italian sounds good, let's do that.

>>1060726
The real question we should be asking is how much payed vaccation do we get

>>1060726
>>1060714
>>1060728
>>1060714
You are at the italian restaurant, in China, during the Xin dinasty.
What you are gonna order?

>>1060735

I like Tagglatelli. Anyone else down for Tagglatelli?

> Tagglatelli please

>>1060736
''Tagglatelli for you!'' says the waitress

>>1060735
Bistecca alla fiorentina is the only real choice.

>>1060738

What's our money situation like?

We can impress her with our fat stacks of... Chinese Dosh.

Quick some other player take over I don't know how to Xin Dynasty monies!

>>1060746
You have plenty of money, a royal guard of the emperor is well payed.
>>1060744
''A Fiorentina for you, you really like to eat, don't you? But you are very fit too'' says the waitress.

>>1060746
I think they used taels? One tael was enough for a family to eat for a month.

>>1060758
Start jacking it under the table. The. When edge it so that the next time the waitress comes around we can cum all over her.

>>1060758
>>1060762
>>1060760

Gentlemen, we do not come on her until after we speak to/ murder her father.

> Tell her if her food is good we shall take her to the mystical land of India!

>>1060764
Nah I want to be degenerate assasin. We jack off on the head of our targets before we kill them as a show of our mastery of Stealth wanking.

>>1060764
''That will be a dream, but my father....my father is a Templar he is always talking about the Eden's Apple'' says the waitress
>>1060760
They used Chinese coin, gold, silver, tortoise shell, seashell.

>>1060767
>>>/Akun/

>>1060770

Sounds cool, everyone wanna join her daddy's club? Motherfucker has an apple.

>>1060779
Fuck I love apples let's do it!

>>1060781
''I don't know if I want my dad dead, i hate him, but not at that point'' says the waitress

>>1060783

We didn't say that Britney. We want to join him. Like help him in order to win your hand.

Templars sound pretty cool.

>>1060783
Get your father's blessing to ruin your vergin cunt don't you understand.

She says where her dad lives in the country side of the city, in a big chinese castle, the emperor is one of hs biggest friend so think about your moves.
Anyway you have access to a good weaponry:
>Daggers
>Bows
>Swords
>And naturally the assasin's daggers

File: 6POot4n.jpg (193 KB, 600x800)

193 KB JPG

>>1060795
>Bows
Bow masterrace.

>>1060797
You take the finest bow with you.
Now where you lead, assassin?

>>1060798

What's our resume look like? We're applying for a job after all.

>>1060798
The harbour, we need a fuckhueg boat.

>>1060800
You are an assassin, so......
>>1060804
What type of boat? Something for a long trip?

>>1060811
A really really big boat with lots of cannons, like a chinese!galleon.

>>1060811
No something that will get us to the castle in style!.

While we are going there let's grab some paper and ink and write that resume down.

File: 1211391559_f671.gif (88 KB, 395x283)

88 KB GIF

>>1060813
>>1060814
You pick up the imperial galleon and the paper and ink, but you spend all your money.
During the trip you start writing down the resume.
>Tell me what you write.

>>1060823


Let's crash the boat into an academy. specifically library.

Let's see if we can read bout han dynasty bros.

>>1060823
你他媽的他媽的說我怎麼說,你小ch?我會讓你知道我畢業於海軍海豹隊我的班級的頂部,我參與了對基地組織的許多秘密襲擊,我有超過300確認殺人。我在大猩猩戰爭訓練,我是整個美國武裝部隊的頂級狙擊手。你對我沒什麼,只是另一個目標。我會擦拭你他媽的精確的喜歡在這個地球上從來沒有見過,標記我他媽的話。你認為你可以逃避說在互聯網上對我說話嗎?再想想,他媽的。當我們說我是聯繫我的間諜在美國的秘密網絡,你的IP正在追踪,現在,所以你更好地準備暴風雨,蛆。風暴消滅了可怕的小東西,你稱之為你的生活。你他媽的死了,孩子。我可以在任何地方,任何時間,我可以殺了你在七百多種方式,這只是我的雙手。我不僅在非武裝戰鬥廣泛的訓練,但我可以訪問美國海軍陸戰隊的整個武器庫,我將使用它,以完全程度擦拭你的悲慘的屁股,從大陸的臉,你小狗。如果只有你能知道你的小“聰明”的評論是什麼不道德的報復,要把你打倒,也許你會擁有你他媽的舌頭。但你不能,你沒有,現在你付出的代價,你
該死的白痴。我會在你身上顫抖的怒火,你會淹死在它。你他媽的死了,孩子。

>>1060823
Chen Zi Fan
( address here )
Master assasin with 6+ years of flawless execution masterful Stealth and the utmost confidentiality. B.A. in assassination

PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCE
(Put like our 5 most famous assassinations here)

EDUCATION
(collage degree ect.)


ADDITIONAL SKILLS
great with a bow. Amazing with the ladies.

>>1060831

Seconding.

>>1060828
You crash.
The castle sets in panic, but you can't find something about the Han, cause the Xin reigned waaay before the Han.
So now the castle is on panic mode, and some guards come at you.

>>1060837

HOLY SHIT GUARDS SOME MOTHERFUCKER CRASHED A BOAT INTO THE CASTLE!

>>1060837
Walk calmly up to them and state that you would like to apply for a job.

>>1060842
''DID YOU SEE HIM?'' says the captain of the guards.

>>1060844
''WHAT THE FUCK A BOAT CRASHED!!'' says the captain of the guards.

>>1060845

Yeah he looked very feminine. Kinda like tat woman from the italian place in the city!

>>1060848
Scream about boats for a bit with him then go and see the dude we came here for and hand him our resume.

>>1060850
''Are you talking about the waitress? The daughter of the King of that castle?'' says the souspicios captain of the guard.

>>1060854
''We can talk about it later'' says a guard.

>>1060858

Looked like her.

Does she have a sibling?

Also note how a boat crashed into a castle you said was in the middle of the countryside. Suggest a sorceror's hand in this landboat bullshit.

>>1060858
Your a sous chef too?

>>1060865
''A sorceror? You know things don't you?'' says a guard
''Now you come with me, we lead to the king he will know what to do with you'' says the captain of the guards and he grab a cuff the handcuffs

>>1060868
''I was''

>>1060880
No need for the cuffs I come willingly you are pretty cool guys. Also we should cook together some time.

>>1060880
>>1060881

Join me and you can be a sous chef once more. All you have to do is show me your singing voice!

>>1060881
>>1060883
''Shut up, you come with me!'' ha grabs your wrists.

>>1060884

> Kiss him

>>1060887
''YOU MOTHERFUCKER'' grab the sword and starts fighting you.

>>1060890
What a prick. Look at the other guards isn't this guy a fucking prick.

Rolled 11 (1d20)

>>1060890
Rolling to seduce guard

>>1060898
>>1060899
''You moron, you are going to die for a kiss'' the captain try to slay your limbs.
What are you gonna do?

Rolled 7 (1d20)

>>1060900
Slay her limbs right back

>>1060900

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlC6in7R0NU

Give him a titty twister while telling all the other guys they should all mock him.

>>1060902
His, rather. Seemed to have skipped a line or two

>>1060907
You kill him pretty easily, the other guards sstarts charging at you.
You are now against 5 guards.

>>1060910
Exit the simulation

Rolled 10 (1d20)

>>1060910
Use the arms of chef guard to beat the others to death

> Realize we didn't finish our italian and go right back to the resteraunt.

>>1060910
Tell them to chill

>>1060915
Bye (igKcWwxv)
>>1060918
You kill 2 guards.
3 remaining.
>>1060922
roll a d20, and beat 14.

Rolled 18 (1d20)

>>1060936
Just chill famalam, it's not like we just killed your two best frie- oh

>>1060936
No.

Rolled 16 (1d20)

>>1060936
Once out of the simulation, hack into the mainframe and give the other assassins admin access

>>1060947
backing

>>1060944
DUBS+18
They all chill.
Now?
>>1060947
This will take a bit.
[_----------------------hacking------------------]

Rolled 32 (1d100)

>>1060951
speed this hacking up

Rolled 22 (1d100)

>>1060952
you just slowed it down

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>1060952
Log into 4chan, check out the new board

>>1060951
Give all the guard ridiculous breasts that they cannot walk with.

>>1060952
[___----------------------]
Roll a d100 again.

>>1060954
And so did I. Fuck

Rolled 56 (1d100)

>>1060957
k

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>1060957

>>1060957

Breastexpand.exe.

Rolled 46 (1d100)

>>1060957
Let's fucking apply for our job already

>>1060955
you fail.
>>1060956
wtf>>1060963

Rolled 42 (1d100)

>>1060966
Try again

>>1060965
''Oh a job, let's see''
''Yeah you will be an excellent guard''
They give you the armor.
Now?

>>1060966

Do it bitch.

>>1060971
Hit him with the armour.

>>1060969
Nothing new on 4chan
>>1060962
>>1060961
[___----------------------]

Rolled 36 (1d100)

>>1060971
Finish hacking

Rolled 76 (1d100)

>>1060978

>>1060976
>>1060975
>>1060978
Sorry new bar is
[_____________
--------]

>>1060976
Try out the abstergo ent. Thread it looks good

Rolled 48 (1d100)

>>1060981

Seduce the hacking progress bar.

File: hacking.gif (445 KB, 500x300)

445 KB GIF

Rolled 11 (1d100)

>>1060976

Rolled 59 (1d100)

>>1060981
Hack the soundtrack to be https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcBuIbmUXy1gF9seaYxkK116oNApr0VtA

File: tumblr_ne8fbcYjVR1ru5h8co1_500.gif (441 KB, 500x500)

441 KB GIF

>>1060984
>>1060982
>>1060983
HACK COMPLETE
YOU ARE NOW IN
WHAT YOU GONNA DO?
ABSTERGO HAVE DATABASES ANDD CONCTACTS FOR EVERYTHING!!!

>>1060987

Seconding.

>>1060971
Wait no i wanted to join templars!!! Look at me resume reeeeeee

>>1060993
''Templars? There is no such thing here!''

Rolled 517 (1d1000)

>>1060990
First priority become isis

>>1060987
>>1060990
Do iiiit

>>1060990
donate all their corporate assets to a Nigerian prince

>>1060990

> Activate Loli mode.

>>1060995
Anally rape him for lieing to us

>>1060996
Pretti much you discover ISIS is a coverture for researches in Afghanistan about the old templars.
Abstergo is behind every terrorist attack.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>1060990
Loli hack, commence

Since you didn't like the breast expansion thing, program all women in the simulation to appear aged 12. Make them all call you "Ni-Chan." In China.

Just want you to feel comfortable writing this OP.

>>1061007
>>1061003
>>1061001

DONE
>>1061006
FINISHED
>>1061003
THE SIM IS OVER YOU ARE NOW HACKING ABSTERGO

>>1061007

Supporting.

Rolled 5 (1d100)

>>1061012
Activate Futa mode

>>1061012
Esplod base and kill everyone

>>1061012

Nah fuck that, let's get ice cream.

Are we lactose intolerant?

Rolled 60 (1d100)

>>1061012
join isis for real

>>1061012
Become the alpha and the omega

Rolled 20 (1d100)

Kill ourself.

>>1061016
OVERCHARGING THE NUCLEAR REACTORS OF THE FACILITY
[____------------------------------------------------]
>>1061024
>>1061018
FAIL
>>1061019
Explain yourself
>>1061017
The sim is over

Rolled 87 (1d100)

become an hero for real this time

>>1061026

Are you saying real life has no ice cream?

QUEST FUCKING DROPPED!

>>1061026
AN HERO

Rolled 41 (1d100)

>>1061026
Moon jump code, go.

>>1061030
THERE IS NO ICE CREAM IN ABSTERGO

NUCLEAR EXPLOSION
[_________________--------]
>>1061029
>>1061031

ONE OF YOU GUYS IS GONE

>>1061026
Because the 4th memeber of the holy trinity, ascend to the higher plane. Let it truly begin

Rolled 54 (1d100)

>>1061033
one of us? are we a hive mind? plug into abstergo database, anhero the earth with nukes

>>1061033
Undo nuclear explosion, induce nuclear implosion.
Somehow.

>>1061036
We are already in, catch up goy

>>1061034
>>1061037
>>1061036

AS SOON ASYOU SAY THIS THE FACILITY START TREMBLING

NUCLEAR IMPLOSION IN 3

>>1061033
stick your dick in the lolis

Rolled 53 (1d100)

>>1061039
to clarify- become database AI

Rolled 66 (1d100)

>>1061036

one of you?

The fuck?

>>1061041

Supporting with dice.

>>1061042
YOU ARE NOW THE DATA MASTER OF ABSTERGO

>>1061044
>>1061041
YOU STICK YOUR DICK

>>1061040
Inject the first civilization DNA, teleport out

>>1061049
YOU TELEPORT OUT
NUCLEAR IMPLOSION IN 1

Rolled 16 (1d100)

>>1061052
Cum in the lolis

>>1061052
Teleport the others out, the lolis too

OH NO OUR DICK IS STUCK WE CAN'T TELEPORT!

Rolled 71 (1d100)

Hack into this simulation that ran the previous simulation.

If this is reality, hack reality.

>>1061056
>>1061057
>>1061056

A NUCLEAR IMPLOSION BEGINS
IS BEAUTIFUL
BUT YOU ARE STUCK.
EVERYBODY DIES EXCEPT OF THE DNAGUY

Rolled 80 (1d100)

>>1061059

Aqquire Spiral Energy

File: Abstergo.gif (110 KB, 463x463)

110 KB GIF

>>1061059
RESTARTING
RESTARTING.
RESTARTING.
RESTARTING.
RESTARTING.

>>1061060
Use the DNA to become god, resurrect everyone as my apostles

>>1061062
>>1061059
>>1061068

YOU ARE NOW ''THE HIVE MIND'' A SENTIENT DATA ENERGY
YOU RESSURECT EVERYBODY AND START A NEW CIVILIZATION OF SUPER HUMANS

>>1061068
Berserk style

Rolled 88 (1d100)

>>1061070
nuke it agai

>>1061065

Remember we didn't tip the waitress princess in the italian resteraunt in ancient china where we were an assasin who was also some kind of emperor guard master archer.

>>1061070
Start singing We are the champions in every language simultaneously.

>>1061073
>>1061072
>>1061071
NEW NUCLEAR TREAT IN 5

Rolled 86 (1d100)

Once civilization has progressed far enough, go onto their equivalent of /qst/ and make this thread.

>>1061070
Rewrite reality into a shitty porno

>>1061077
AND?
>>1061078
ROLL

Rolled 3 (1d100)

>>1061088

Rolled 89 (1d100)

>>1061089
>>1061089
Supporting

>>1061089
YOU CREATE A NEW REALITY THAT IS A SHITTY PORN ONLY VISIBILE ON YOUR PENIS

Rolled 92 (1d100)

>>1061088
I don't know. I just gave you agency in your own quest. What do YOU want to have happen, QM?

The inmates are running the asylum, but now you can run the inmates. Who run the asylum. Who runs you. Everything smells like copper now.

>>1061092
NOW REALITY IS A SHITTY PORN

Rolled 87 (1d100)

Shut down the world. No restart.

Rolled 82 (1d100)

>>1061095
End this suffering, cause reality to implode, try to escape at the last second

>>1061094
>>1061095
>>1061099
>>1061098

REALITY IS LITERALLITY FALLING APART.
A NEW TREAT COMES ALIVE
''THE HIVE MASTER''
HE WILL DESTROY YOU AND ALL YOUR REALITIES YOU HAVE CREATED.
BUT
IN ANOTHER TRHEAD
STAY TUNED FELLAS
(give a vote from 1 to 10 of this experience)

Rolled 62 (1d100)

>>1061095
Restart new quest
STRONGHOLD QUEST

>>1061102
10

Rolled 90 (1d100)

>>1061102
10. It started out pretty rough but you gave us free reign and just started spouting our bullshit back to us. well played op.

>>1061102
11

Cya guys in the next episode!!

>>1061102
I'd give it an 8 you were pretty great only thing that could be better is if you were a draw fag

>>1061102
I give the experience a ‰

Because what the fuck

>>1061110
Wooooo ep 2 electric Boogaloo

>>1061111
fucking quads.
I actually am, but have no tablets or so

Rolled 50 (1d100)

>>1061115
This isn't just a one-off?
Reality break quest is a go?

>>1061118
yes