>Let Tia take over.

>>1229147
>>Let Tia take over.

>>1229147
>>Let Tia take over.

>>1229147
>Let Tia take over.
Man even Shark waifu wants to beat the berries outta this kid.

Looks like it's an ass whooping for Ichigo.

>writing

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With a sigh you cave in under the pressure and speak up.
''Okay Tia.
Just... please be careful.''

''Aren't I always?''

She stands up and Ichigos eyes go wide.
''H-hold up!
Are we really doing this?
I mean, I don't want to fight a woman!''

Not saying anything Tia simply beckons him to follow her.
The boy however persists about not fighting a woman, to which Tia simply draws her sword without showing any emotion.

''Hey! I said I won't fight you!''

She uses one finger to draw Tiburon from the sheath on her back and as she pulls down the blade by one of the rings on the pommel it spins in the air before she catches it with the same hand and looks at the boy.

''That's too bad...''
With a Sonído she closes the gap between Ichigo and herself and prepares for a wide slash.
''Because then... you'll die.''

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYyJQYO_4F4&t=858s

Her cold gaze practically freezes Kurosakis blood in his veins and were it not for the fact that Tia attacked slowly on purpose she could have decapitated him then and there.
Ichigo dodges in a fit of panic and separates his soul and body with his shinigami badge.
As Harribel keeps flailing around in wide arcs before Ichigo his friends rush to you with a puzzled expression on their faces.

''What's the meaning of this?!''
Uryu asks.

You smirk as you answer.
''Ichigo probably assumed that because his opponent is a woman this time his training won't be as bad...
And while it's true that I'm a bit harsh when it comes to words it pales in comparison to what Tia can do...''

Chad looks at the two fighting with his mouth agape.
''S-she's a monster...''

''Well my dear wife doesn't really berate people...
Her actions speak louder anyway...''

Without a command Ichigo transforms his blade and thanks to the surge of reiatsu he can keep up with Tia now.
A wide variety of well telegraphed attacks assault the boy from all direction.
He blocks all the attacks as they batter his sword but that also means he simply can't counter attack.

''W-why isn't she saying a word?''
Uryu asks you again.
''Isn't this supposed to be training?''

''Isn't it obvious?
She's not talking because it's pointless.
Experience trumps education...''

Tia keeps battering the boy for a while.
Judging by how easy to see her movement is, even with all that speed, she intends on letting Ichigo grow in the thick of battle.
This much is easy to see.

But what most of the spectators don't realize is that on top of all that Tia doesn't go all out in her assault.
To the trained eye it's easy to see that she always stops her motion just before she reaches the end of her sequence, causing her usually fluid motion to appear janky and unpolished.
The reason for this is simple: She's trying not to push her own body too much.

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The two of them finally clash and engage in a sword lock.
Ichigo is grunting loudly as he's struggling to keep up his sword against Tiburón.
Eventually the boy realizes that he's fighting a losing battle. So he does something unexpected.

He lets go of the swords grip with one hand and touches the flat top of Zangetsus blade.
''Getsuga Tensho!''

Blue reiatsu begins to shoot out from the blade of the Zanpakuto and it knocks Harribel back several feet.
Though it didn't do any damage at least now Ichigo doesn't have to take the endless onslaught of Harribels attacks.
He's panting quite hard as he looks at Harribel who speaks up.

''I didn't realize you can fire that instantaneously...''

''Oh yeah?
You haven't seen anything yet!''

Strangely enough Ichigo manages to surprise you with his next stunt.
He starts to unfold some of the cloth wrapped around Zangetsu and once he has an ample amount of fabric to work with he begins spinning it around himself, like a windmill of death.
You faintly recall the days when he was stuck in Soul Society and training with his Zanpakuto spirit.

After a sharp whistle you speak to him.
''Nice thinking Ichigo.
Did you talk with your sword spirit back there?
Is that where you got the idea from?''

''No...
I don't do that jazz.''

''Doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose of having a living weapon?''

''Shut up!
I was thinking about how to get better at using Zangetsu.
This is the only thing I could come up with.''

Tia just looks at this unamused.
''How is that going to help you?''

''Just watch!''

As he is spinning his weapon around Ichigo lets go of the cloth and Zangetsu begins shooting outward.
The boy then begins channeling reiryoku into the fabric, hardening it in the process and causing it to fly straight forward.
While this amount of precision was a bit surprising all Tia had to do was cock her head slightly to dodge the attack.
After an annoyed grunt Ichigo repeats his attacks with slight adjustments to it and got mixed results.
Although he didn't even get close to actually hitting Harribel he managed to keep her suppressed and far away from himself.

''Aren't you getting tired of this?''
She asks the boy.

''It's working, isn't it?!
Now just stay where you are!''

''Very well.''
She raises up her blade and pulls it back behind her.
Blue energy begins to gather in the inner, hollow part of her blade as she begins to focus.
''Ola Azul!''

With a straight thrust the projectile shoots out and manages to knock Ichigo on his ass.
Thanks to him throwing his weapon all over the place he was left defensless just as the attack hit him.
He manages to stand up and looks at Tia with an annoyed expression.

''Okay...
New plan...''
He raises his weapon and begins charging up his energy.
''BAN! KAI!''

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As Ichigo releases his blade once more he makes a mad dash for Harribel who is genuinely taken back by the boys speed.
She may have seen it already but going up against it is an entirely different thing.
Luckily for her even though she can't really follow his movements she can guess them pretty accurately.

Just as the blade comes in she parries it with her own weapon and knocks it to the side.
And just as the boy pulls back for another attack she reacts by sliding the tip of Zangetsu right into the hole of Tiburón.
''I got you.''
Harribel speaks to him softly.

She begins turning her weapon while Zangetsu is caught right in the hole.
At this point there are two likely outcomes for this situation:
1.) Ichigos grip is too loose and his sword gets twisted out of his hand
2.) His hold proves to be too strong and so his weapon will break

But to everyones surprise the boy manages to find a way out of this bind.
He completely lets go of his sword and instead slides his finger into the last chain segment that's attached to his blade.
Pulling on that Tensa Zangetsu tumbles out from Harribels iron hold and Ichigo begins spinning it around just like he did with his shikai.

''Well look at that!
This is actually useful!''
He smirks confidently.

>Tia! Kick his ass!
>Join in on the fun
>Keep observing
>Other? (Write-in)

>>1229258
>>Tia! Kick his ass!

>>1229258
>>Tia! Kick his ass!

>>1229258
>Tia! Kick his ass!
I'm Tempted to say we should join in, but i wanna see what everyone else thinks.

>>1229258
>>Tia! Kick his ass!

hey spooky, when this quest ends do you know what next quest you'll be running?

>>1229305
Yeah. I'm already making it.

Also:
>writing

With a quick shout you try to get Tias attention.
''DO IT HONEY!''

At this Uryu gives you a funny look.
''HEY!
Aren't you supposed to cheer on Kurosaki?!''

''Erm... no?''
You turn your attention back to your wife.
''TEACH HIM A LESSON TIA!''

She closes her eyes and contemplates on the issue at hand.
''Very well...''
She raises her sword before her and speaks up.
''Blame my husband for what's about to happen...
Destroy! Tiburón!''

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yMWnoJhBNF8

As reiatsu begins to pour out from Tier it begins to condense and eventually form water around her.
From her watery cocoon a blade quickly comes out and it shreds the entire thing apart.
Harribels true form is revealed as drops of water still float around her.
Were it not for the absurd amounts of reiatsu being released the boys no doubt would be quite overwhelmed by her appearance and the lewdness of it.

But as it stands they are simply busy not soiling themselves in terror.
Ichigo in particular gets rather terrified and he reaches immediately to his face so he can don his mask.
Unfortunately for him however Tia is not in the mood to play nice so she closes the gap between them and drives her palm right through the forming mask and into Ichigos face.
She starts carrying the boy by the head until they reach a tree and she slams him into it.
As Tia lets go of his face the boys eyes widen until they are the size of a plate.
The boys dread is painfully obvious to see.

''What's wrong?''
Tia asks him.
''Is my power that terrifying for you?
If this was a real fight you'd have died from that.
Never let your emotions get the better of you in a fight. Never!''
She takes a few steps back to give him some space.
''Now... put on your mask...
I'll wait...''

His palms sweating profusely and shaking like autumn leaves in the wind Ichigo can't muster the strength to respond to her.
Instead he tries to put on his mask but it shatters after but a fraction of a second much to his surprise.

Tia observes this and calmly speaks up.
''I see.
So that ability is directly tied to your mental status.
Am I right?''

''I-I-I... have no idea what you're talking about!''

''I'm asking if your mask lasts long if you are focused...''

''I... don't know...
It usually shatters even if I'm focusing really hard on it...''

Tia closes her eyes.
''I see.
Then it really is a mask...
It allows you to take up the appearance of a hollow.
But unless you know how to act like one the illusion is broken...''
Tia opens her eyes.
''Close your eyes...''

''W-What?''

''Trust me...
Close your eyes.''

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Ichigo follows the advice of your wife and closes his eyes.
Now Tia starts giving him even more instructions.

''Take a deep breath... calm yourself.
Never show fear nor hesitation, even against overwhelming odds.
Focus on your enemy but not on how they are now but what you'll do to them.
Be straightforward and resolute, use your iron will to decimate your opponent!
STAND UPRIGHT AND FIGHT KUROSAKI ICHIGO!''

Ichigo opens his eyes and with a loud scream dons his mask.
Seeing this Harribel immediately raises her weapon and begins an immediate assault.

''Cascada!''

By raising up her weapon and bringing it down Tier creates a torrent of water that she uses to overwhelm Ichigo.
Her plan was beautiful in its simplicity.
Using a surprise attack like that serves as an excellent way of testing Ichigos concentration.
If he truly grasped the basics his mask won't shatter but if he didn't...

To your surprise he actually managed to keep it together and tackled the waterfall head on.
Screaming at the top of his lung he plunged Tensa Zangetsu straight into the crashing waves, breaking them apart and softening the blow.
But that alone won't be enough as Harribel keeps pumping more and more energy into the attack.
In a last desperate attempt Ichigo starts channeling his energy into the blade.

''GETSUGA!''

You let out a sigh.
''Not this shit again...''

''YARI!''

The black energy is unleashed but it's different.
Rather than scattering all over the place in the vague direction of the opponent the attack is instead controlled and focused.
Concentrating all the energy of the Getsuga Tensho into the very tip of his blade and releasing it like that caused it to shoot out straight through the Cascada.
Were it not for this slight alteration the attack no doubt would have been overwhelmed by the similar in nature but superior in power Cascada.

As the water scatters all over the place Ichigo is left looking up with his sword pointed to the sky.
His pants are barely audible through the dripping sound of many drops of water hitting the ground.
After pulling off this little stunt you can see cracks appearing all over his mask.
With his power dropping swiftly Tia uses Sonído to teleport before him and puts her weapon to the boys throat.

''I told you to not to drop your guard...''

But before he could reply Ichigo noticed something strange...

>>1229523
Oh no. Did our back luck happen again and now shes dying and the kid is dead?

>>1229392
>inb4 tia smothers him in her tig ol biddies

>>1229546
All we would have to do to fix that is to wish on the Hogyoku.

I bet he noticed her biddies pressing into his back. Or her futa dong.

Or in reality he may have noticed her guarding differently, then the little shit takes advantage of it at full force and smacks her in the belly causing a miscarriage. Either that or she is going into labor.

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>>1229546

>>1229563
>Either that or she is going into labor.
>Cascada was actually her water breaking

>>1229563
>>1229546
All of these suggestions...

Am I really that much of an asshole?

>>1229569
The truth is....Kinda

>>1229569
Kubo is

>>1229569
questing on 4chan does things to people spook, if it's not the worst thing possible it's a setup to get us to lower our guards

>>1229569
I've been hurt by too many QMs.....

Although you are pretty good about stuff usually spooky.

>>1229569
please no, the burn marks are still fresh from the previous QM.

>>1229569
No. Its just kaizer has a really shitty life when it comes to ever getting joy. So I'd rather call it now then be hurt by it.

I've been hurt by so many QM's and GM's

>>1229569
Please dont let our babby be kill

We might have to beat up strawberry, and really ourselves, if it is.

well... can't say I'm surprised.

However it's not the case now
It's something completely different.

However I fully intend on being a complete sadistic cunt in the next quest I'll make...

>>1229569
Not as far as i know, but maybe posting from my phone is making me crazy

>>1229610
>In the grim darkness of AND YOU'RE DEAD REROLL

>>1229610
You cant be as sadistic as smiley so go on

>>1229610
well it will be a freshly born /qst/ so makes sense.

>>1229614
>Tfw Spooky runs Only war for us.

>>1229610
From now on any and all of the players of spooks quest are welcome at /qst/ home for abused players. Fate points provided on entry

File: 26565314.gif (490 KB, 320x240)

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>>1229619

>>1229619
SHit really?
Awesome

>>1229610
>spookys new quest
>"You are Jack Jackson, a college student with the incredible power to.....and a toilet seat falling from a plane kills you, time to roll a new character"
>"You are Jackson Johnson, your father was killed by a flying toilet seat, in your quest for revenge you have stumbled upon the lair of the foul sorceror responsible for"
>Roll another character due to inexplicable death syndrome.

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>>1229616
I got actual real life stress from blood moon.

>>1229616
>>1229629
Dare I ask for context? ... Nah.

>>1229616
The only experience I have with Smiley is Through The Portal or whatever quest, with Yuu. I think that is Smiley. It might just be that we roll like GODS in that quest most of the time during crucial moments.

Although not quite as good as we have been during combat in Spirit Detective Quest. I swear, the Spirit Detective character is a socially retarded combat/torture savant.

As Ichigo is looking at Harribel he notices the world around him going gray and eventually slowing down.
From behind himself he could hear footsteps slowly creeping up to him.

''Well well well...
Look who it is!
It's Mister I'm too good to be bothered talking to my Zanpakutou Ichigo...
How have you been? You know, I had to ask since you kinda sorta ignored us for a while now...''

''Z-Zangetsu...''

''Oh? I'm surprised you still know my name!
You know when a hollow starts lecturing you about how to be a shinigami, consider a change of career...''

''Look... I'm sorry okay?''

''Huh?!
Did I hear that right? You apologized?!
Well color me impressed! Maybe you should get your shit pushed in by hollows more often!
It's doin' good stuff to you!''

''Did you seriously just come to lecture me after all that?''

''Honestly? No. But it did feel good to get that out of my system.
In truth I came to congratulate you.''

''Congratulate me? For what?!''

''Do I really have to list them to ya? Fine.
You finally started using me properly, both in shikai and bankai.
You also started to use your head and using Getsuga Tensho to its fullest potential.
And perhaps my favorite, using Blut Vene to circumvent the fact that my bankai is still too much for your body to handle.
While still far from what I'd call acceptable it's at least a start.
You know, baby steps.''

''Okay... you patted me on the back.
Can you leave now? I promise I'll start checking up on you guys more frequently and try getting to know you.
But you really need to stop appearing unannounced like this!''

''And you just said the magic words too!
Tell you what? Since it looks like you got your shit together I'll give you a vote of confidence since you were such a good boy!''

Ichigo looks confused.
''Meaning?''

''Meaning I'll give you access to your bankai...''

Ichigo gets even more confused.
''Wait- What?!
But I-''

''HAH! Did you really think I'd give it to you after forcing my hand like that?!
GET OVER YOURSELF!
You may be able to activate bankai but I gave you the wrong name.
But just a reminder! If you start acting like a bitch again I'm gonna make you regret it!
Got that?!''

''Y-yeah...
So what's the name?''

Zangetsu simply grins and starts fading out of existence.
''Oh... I'm sure you know!''

>>1229636
>swear, the Spirit Detective character is a socially retarded combat/torture savant.

Nah, SOM is just a terrible writer.

>>1229633
Well shit happens you know
Asshole kills your family, inflicting emotional pain to players and MC

>>1229636
Try blood moon

>>1229569
I've been burned before

I read Psion Quest

>>1229641
Well we roll retardedly high on combat rolls in Spirit Detective Quest.

I still hate Kevin and wish he had been kicked to death by Damon, but ohwell, le bully redemption maymay and all. Just can't convince some people how bad people like that really are.

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As reality returns to normal Ichigo just looks at Tia and speaks up softly.
''Please Miss...
Take a few steps back...''

''Wha-''

In that moment Ichigos once black reiatsu turns to pristine white as it starts skyrocketing.
From this shock Tia takes a few steps back as she visibly begins to panic.
Meanwhile Ichigos eyes have a killer gleam to them the likes of which you haven't seen in quite a while.

He swings Zangetsu before him and shouts.
''BAN! KAI!''

An explosion of whiteness envelops everything around you.
With your sight gone your other senses desperately try to take over and you can hear the confused shouting of everyone around you.
Once the shining disappears you can see Ichigo before you.

His once black coat turned white alongside his blade, his head completely covered by a black mask from which his hair grows down towards his hip.
And judging by his hand and feet his entire body was morphed.
The monstrosity looks at you and lets out a deep, distorted and almost growling sound.

''Shiro... Zangetsu...''

You honestly struggle speaking as the thing you assume to be Ichigo speaks.
Seeing this he takes a step forward...


And breaks his leg in the process.

''AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
FUCK!!! FUCK!! FUCK!!!
GOD FUCKING DAMN IT!''

Everybody is shocked at this image as the horned beast before you starts swearing profusely.
You can see that from beyond the woods Tatsuki and Dante rush in.

''What's going on?!
What hap-
WHAT IS THAT?!''
Tatsuki screams.

>Go to ''Ichigo''
>Try to calm down Tatsuki
>Check and see if Tia is okay
>Other? (write-in)

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>>1229642
I said nah, man, nah!

>>1229701
>"Huh. I think he's actually to strong for his own body to support it. Haven't seen that before."
>then goop him.

>>1229701
>Go to ''Ichigo''

>>1229701
>Go to ''Ichigo'' and rip off the mask.

WE MUST MAKE YOU A TRUE HOLLOW. BECOME ONE WITH US.

>>1229703
That's why i spoiler-ed it boy.
Blame your curiosity

>>1229701
>Check and see if Tia is okay
Wife and kids first.
Paternal instinct on

>>1229701
>Go to ''Ichigo''
>Other? (write-in)
>"Everybody be quiet!"

>>1229701
>Go to Ichigo
>Drown him in goop

>>1229701
>>Go to ''Ichigo''

>>1229701
>Check and see if Tia is okay
Then
>Go to "Ichigo"

>>1229701
>>Check and see if Tia is okay

>>1229701
The problem with your power being bigger than your body can handle. Maybe he should have done some slow stretching first.

>>1229767
I lold

>writing

>>1229767
Doesn't matter how big it is if you don't know how to use it and it breaks when you try

You walk up to Harribel cautiously while looking at the swearing Ichigo.

''Are you okay?''
You ask her.

''Y-yeah... I'm fine.
Just a bit... shocked.''

''Yeah, no kidding.
His power is so great it literally broke his own body... Haven't seen that before.''

''Maybe we pushed him a bit too much...
You... should go help him.''

''On it...''
You tell her as you make your way to Ichigo.

Once you reach him you grab hold of his ''mask'' which looks more like a helmet at this point and remove it from him.
Looking at him he doesn't look that different from before with the exception of the paler complexity, black sclera and the long hair.

''Maybe you went a bit overboard Ichigo...
Perhaps you should have stretched first....''

''CUT THE CRAP AND HEAL ME ALREADY!
YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH THIS HURTS!''

Rather than replying with another cheeky quip you get to drowning his leg in healing goo.
Soon enough the boy gets considerably less vocal about his pain.

''Okay...
Care to tell us what that was?''

''A-apparently this is my actual bankai...''

''So the last one was a fluke?
Can you still use that?''

''I... don't know. Maybe?''

''Well, it's pretty obvious that this is beyond you so you should refrain from using it.
As Ms Hoffman said to the well endowed stallion: It's possible to put too much in...''

''Yeah no kidding...''
Saying that Ichigo begins to focus and his bankai reverts to his regular, sealed sword.
''I mean I was using Blut Vene and it didn't do anything...''

You nod in acknowledgement as you put the finishing touches on his legs.
''In the future just use your old bankai if possible... Okay?''

''Y-yeah.''

Meanwhile Tatsuki is just shouting in her confusion.
''Can ANYONE tell me what the hell's going on?!''

You cock your head toward her and speak up.
''Ichigo got himself a stick so big he can't even swing it and ended up whacking himself in the face.''

Dante looks up at that.
''Oh... you mean he tripped over his own dick.
Now it makes sense.''

You look at your grandson and ask something from him.
''What do you say?
Do you think he could cut your armor now?''

''Nah... I'm fucking invincible in that state.''

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>>1229882
>''Nah... I'm fucking invincible in that state.''

>>1229882
"And how many people have I killed seconds after they made that boast? LAPS, now."

>>1229882
Not sure if he's that confident or just getting back in touch with his estranged cockiness.
...
make him do pushups just in case.

>>1229898
oh god yes

>>1229889
Oh God, did Dante somehow inherit our nano-hallows?!
>>1229898
Also vote for making Dante run laps

>>1229882
SO much this.---->>1229898

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>>1229911
>Oh God, did Dante somehow inherit our nano-hallows?!

In a sorts, yes. But that guy wasn't

>>1229898
YES

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''Dante... Fifteen laps... Now!''

''B-but... it's true!''

''And every time I heard a sucker say that I killed them....
LAPS!''
He swallows as you give him a cold stare but doesn't protest in the slightest and starts running immediately.

After Ichigos leg is healed he stands back and Yuzu immediately rushes him.
''ICHI-NII!
DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THAT!''
She buries her face in her brothers chest.

''S-sorry Yuzu...
I guess I messed up.''

But as Ichigo is busy counseling his little sister something catches his attention as the phone on his body begins ringing.
''H-hey Tatsuki...
Could you get that for me?''

''Sure.''
She makes her way to the phone and picks it up after looking at the caller.
''Oh... it's your boss.''

''NO DON-''

''Hello Ikumi-san, it's Arisawa.
You know, Ichigos friend.
N-no... he's busy erm... changing.
But I'll give it to him the second he's ready.''

Hearing that name caused a chill to run down your spine.
But as you thought about the implication that Ichigo is currently employed by her made you burst out laughing.

''MAN ICHIGO!
IT MUST SUCK TO BE YOU!''

But as you keep guffawing Tatsuki looks up as if something caught her attention.
''Oh... yes.
He's here as well.''
Then Tatsuki walks up to you and stretches her arm out before you.
You stop laughing and look down at the phone in Tatsukis hand.
''It's for you.''

You look down at the phone.
Then back at Arisawa, then back at the phone.
Your eyes a mile wide and not blinking.

Feeling cold sweat run along your spine you take the phone and softly whisper into the phone, hoping that the person on the other end won't hear it.
''Hello?''

''YOU LITTLE SHIT!''

''Ssssssscheiße...''

''JUST WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?
YOU JUST UP AND VANISH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND THINK THAT A FLIMSY PIECE OF FUCKING PAPER IS ENOUGH AS AN APOLOGY?!''

''S-S-S-Sorry Ma'am!''

''SORRY?! I'LL SHOW YOU SORRY WHEN I TAKE THE NOTE YOU LEFT ME AND SHOVE IT SO FAR UP YOUR ASS YOU'LL SNEEZE PAPER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE YOU LITTLE TURD!
NOW GET YOUR ASS HERE ALONG THAT USELESS KUROSAKI BEFORE I GO AND DRAG YOU HERE!''

You swallow nervously.
''Y-yes Ma'am!''

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>>1229991

>>1229991
HAHAAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA

>>1229991
Mein Gott

>>1229991
SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

NO NO NO

Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUCK what do we do?!

I mean I know we are the closest thing to the Devil with a capital D that exists in this world, but FUCK what do we do. She is our boss!

In all honesty we owe the nice lady quite a bit for her kindness, we should think about how to repay her. Also maybe introduce her to our wife and use "Old Country Arranged Marriage" as an excuse to why we had to dissappear, but also tell her we love our waifu with all our heart because it turns out we knew each other for years before marriage.

>>1230028
Or since we are showing up without a fancy kiddo body we can tell her "Ayo, I ain't hooman. Soz.". Better to clear that up.

>>1230028
I'm not much for the business of coming up with lies, harmless or otherwise, so why not just be straight up with the woman? We owe her that much at least.

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Everybody is looking at you in absolute confusion.
The one who breaks the silence is your wife.

''Who... was that?''

''She who shall not be named.
The devil wearing human skin!
My boss!''
You reply to her.

Ichigo looks at you with a worried expression.
''H-hey, what happened?!''

''S-s-she's pissed!''

''Oh.... Oh!
OH MY GOD!''

Everybody but Ichigo, who is currently only a hairs breadth away from shitting himself, get even more confused.
They start talking amongst each other as Tatsuki tries to illuminate the situation by telling them that Ikumi is the manager of a shop and is generally a very nice lady.
But you know better than that. You know that woman better than she does.
And you know she's not to be trifled with.

''Oh man...
Oh man... If I knew she could hear me I wouldn't have shou-''
You feel the cogs turning in your head and the eventual spark of enlightenment.
''She... heard me?''
You turn your attention to the boy.
''ICHIGO!''

''Oh shit... oh shit...''
The boy curled up into the fetal position.

''ICHIGO!''

''What?''

''Since when is Ikumi spiritually aware?''

''Since... since...''
He begins to ponder.
''HEY! YOU'RE RIGHT!''

You look back at Tia.
''I think I just stumbled upon something here...
I might have to go there...''

She gives you a serious look.
''Are you sure?
We don't have our gigai here.''

>Go there with Ichigo
>Go there and take Tia as well
>Bail out and leave Ichigo to deal with the situation
>Other? (write-in)

>>1230078
>Go there and take Tia as well
Time for full disclosure!

>>1230078

>Go there with Ichigo
>Go there and take Tia as well

USE TIA AS AN EXCUSE, SHES PREGNANT. WE NEED TO TAKE CARE OF HER.

>>1230078
>>Go there and take Tia as well

>>1230078
>Go there with Ichigo
>Go there and take Tia as well

>>1230078
>>Go there and take Tia as well

>>1230078
>>1230091
>Take Tia and Ichigo both, since he's in trouble anyway, maybe he'll be a whipping boy for us.

>>1230078
>>>Go there with Ichigo
>>Go there and take Tia as well

>Writing

You nod to Tia and speak up.
''I'm sure.
In fact I'd like you to come with us.''

''Me?
But why?''

''Because it'd make convincing her easier.
Please?''

She sighs.
''Okay, okay.
But only because you look desperate.''

''Thanks dear, you're the best!''
You turn your attention to Ichigo afterwards.
''Okay then, let's get this over with...
The sooner the better.''

''I agree...''

After explaining the situation to the others the three of you made your way to the Unagiya shop.
Naturally Tia didn't understand why both of you insisted on hurrying the fuck up but then again she's a bit oblivious at the moment.
It took quite a few minutes for you to reach the shop, more than you were comfortable with in fact.
But as you were before the entrance the two of you had to figure out exactly which one of you was brave enough to open the door.
Luckily for you it was rather easy to convince Ichigo since technically he's the only one that still works here.

And a good thing too because the second he opened it up he found a combat boot thrown straight at his face.
''Welcome back!''
The stern, female voice spoke up from inside.
With a gulp you step through the entrance and ask Ikumi to pardon you for the intrusion.

''So... Ichigo...
Did that useless Krieger bail out or-''

''There is no need for formalities Chief.
I was like this when we spoke on the phone so I know you can see me...''

She sighs and sits down.
''Well damn...
And I was trying so hard...
Feel free to sit down then...''
She signals for you to take a seat.

After all of you take a chair Ikumi takes a good, long look at you and sighs.
''Do I even want to know?''

''Know what?''

''The get-up and your growth spurt...
I assume you don't look like this because you took up steroids...''

''Sorry Boss but no.
And... I'm afraid my appearance is not the only thing I lied about.''

''Really?
Do tell.''

*sigh*
''My real name is not Siegfried Krieger but Kaizar Soize.
I'm going to become sixty years old soon, meaning that I've been dead for that long.
And last but not least, I'm not even what you might call human.''

''I can see that.''
Her gaze turns to Tia.
''And you?''

''Tier Harribel.
His wife.''

''I thought you said you were engaged to some random girl...
Something about an arranged marriage between nobility?''

''Yet another lie.''
You retrieve your engagement ring from your pocket.
''I've been married for a while now...''

''So... what changed since last time?
Why am I suddenly important enough that you're telling the truth now?''

You shake your head.
''Nothing...
I just wished to come clean.
I didn't want to lie to you any longer, not after all you've done to me.''

>>1230287
>''So... what changed since last time?

Well, for starters my supervillain boss is pretty much dead so I don't need to worry about him murdering any loose ends, and I am now the unofficial leader of my people. I built the paradise they live in, and everyone who can be considered stronger than me all listen to me.

So now, what I say goes.

''Then I'm sure you won't mind if I ask some questions from you.
Right?''

''Not at all.''

''If you're a spirit then what exactly are you?
By that I mean, why did you come here in the first place?''

You close your eyes.
''Before I answer... How versed are you in spiritual things?''

''More than most, less than I should.''

''Very well...''
You undo the first few buttons of your coat and reveal the hole in your chest.
''I'm a hollow... and originally I was sent to spy on none other than Kurosaki here.''

''I guess I'm like a broken record here but, what changed?''

''I'm no longer anyones slave, meaning I can do what I want now.
Except... I didn't tell you all this already because I wasn't proud of the fact that I had to deceive you.
And because I honestly felt like leaving you out all of this spiritual nonsense was the best course of action.
Of course now I know that it was pointless...''

Ikumi sighs at this before continuing.
''You know...
I should really beat the shit out of you because of your stupidity...
But now that I know you're a grown man it'd be weird.''

You smirk at that.
''If it makes you feel better Chief then go for it.
I honestly deserve it at this point.''

Ikumi just grins back at you.
''Heh. Cheeky bastard.
You know it's only fun if you resist!
Well then... I guess it's all just water under the bridge then...
But! And this is a big but! If you lie to me again I'll give you the ass kicking I should give you now!''

Tia speaks up at that.
''Don't worry Miss.
If that happens I'll handle it.''

There is a brief pause from Ikumi.
''I'm starting to think you chose poorly Krieger...
Because I like her!''

And that's all I can do for today.

Archive is up and I'll do about... 3ish omakes during the next week.
Thanks for playing!

Oh and if you enjoyed last weeks Q&A then feel free to bombard me with your various questions!

>>1230384
Thanks for the run Spooky, Be safe.

>>1230384
Noice

>>1230384
Thanks for the thread Spooky.

>>1230384
Many thanks for the thread Spook.

>>1230384
Thanks for the thread.

>Dante, Tatsuki what were you two doing off on your own for so long? Nothing inappropriate I hope

>>1230384
>Did the kids wear protection when they banged?

>>1230384
>Soul King: What was the biggest soul you ever had to process?

>Ichigo: How did babby's first leg break feel? Do you think you're ready for the self-dismemberment big leagues with Kaizar?

>Chad: Have you ever tried shooting El Directo through a single finger rather than your entire fist?

>Dante: Can you feel it when Marr punches you when you hit your Devil Trigger?

>>1230462
>Tatsuki

W-Well...
I asked him out on a date and while I expected him to laugh at me, he didn't
Instead he held my hands and told me that this was the most beautiful thing anyone did to him.

I got so flustered that I could only mutter random stuff for several minutes...

>>1230512
>Soul King

Vlad Tepes

>Ichigo

Screw that!

>Chad

Hmmm... no.

>Dante

In devil trigger? Yeah I did.
But in Dreadnaught? Naw

>>1230554
>Ikumi: Does Kaiser having a hot wife impress you?

>>1230554
>Kaiser: I'm beginning to question your taste in women. Are you a masochist or something?

>>1230554
>Vlad Tepes
Yeup. I can buy that.

>>1230554
>Vlad Tepes

Well that's what happens when you nom a whole village. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vlad_%C8%9Aepe%C8%99,_C%C4%83l%C4%83ra%C8%99i

So Dracula is entirely a work of fiction here, then? Unless there's some crazy Bount out there who claims he's the king of the night or something?

>>1230554
>Ikumi How the hell are you still breathing let alone talking, what with kaizar's wife having enough spirit power to stop your heart 9 times over just by being in the vicinity.

>Jin So did any of you bounts ever meet dracula? or king arthur?

>>1231591
Tepes is dracula though isn't he?

>>1231687
The historical inspiration for Dracula actually. Dracula was a work of fiction published in 1897. The historical figure was active in the 1400s, and was a pretty bad tyrant, although the political situation was somewhat complex.

File: 63D01D56-A6FB-4ACC-B022-3(...).jpg (45 KB, 600x338)

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Friendly reminder that esca and amas are secretly running vanaheim, soul society, quincy society, and have vast political power with all governments in the living realm

Escamas was:
Behind 9/11
The one who manipulated aizen into creating the hogyoku
Responsible for the cold war and BOTH world wars
The instigator for quincy genocide
The one who faked the moon landing
The one who ACTUALLY landed on hueco mundo's moon first
The one who ate the soul king's legs (mysteriously missing - SOLVED)

And, of course, all that other stuff you've probably already heard about

>>1232495
Nice forced meme.

>>1231021

>Ikumi:
It kinda does. Then again I was under the impression that he's a little runt up until now

>>1231081

>Kaisar:
I have no idea what you are talking about.
But it's true that after all I went through I became a bit jaded when it comes to pain, so feeling something can be a bit refreshing

>>1231677

>Ikumi:
I have a secret

>Jin:

Dracula? No.
Back in the day moving large distances was a bit of a pain and none of use were active in Transylvania.
But I did know about King Arthur although never actually met him.

>>1231687
>>1231591
>>1231720


It's a bit more iffy than that.

By all accounts he WAS Dracula because he even signed letters under that alias.
The reason for that is a bit... fucky.

His father was Vlad Dracul (Vlad the Dragon) and received that name when he joined the Order of the Dragon.

And ''Dracula'' literally translates to ''Son of the Dragon''

In addition to that many historic documents actually refer to him as ''Dracula'' rather than his actual name, Vlad Tepes.

>>1232511
Its not forced if there's no guns to anybody's head

>>1232630
I meant Count Dracula. The Titular character of the novel. You know that, Spooks. And the way he signed those letters were spelled all fucky because weird ass eastern european ye olde spelling shit. He didn't even sign with the name Dracula consistently, changing the spelling whenever he did sign as such. Fucking Turks though, amirite?

>>1232707
Aye.

Vlad is still a bit of a fucky thing to talk about because there are a lot of misconceptions about him.

At least he was histories greatest kebab remover.


And yes, the book Dracula is still a work of fiction in universe

>>1232737
so can a half hollow like Dante have a kid with a human like Tatsuki? would the kid be more human or hollow since Dante was half hollow anyway

>>1234587
Ya i have no doubt they can make some babies, as far as lineage i guess they'd all technically be 1/4th hollow?

>>1234781
so would they be able to live in the human world or would they have to stay in bone world?

>>1235128
Considering the parents, it'd probably be too dangerous for them to be in the human world, considering the shinigami would probably notice their reiatsu and at the very least investigate that shit, if not outright attempting to eliminate it.

Omake Special: Love can Bloom

There lives a peculiar arrancar in Vanaheim by the name of Dodici.
Well, as peculiar as one can be with living legends surrounding him from all sides.
In fact if it weren't for three distinctions one could easily forget he even existed.

First is that he is one of the very few arrancars who are in a state of almost perpetual Resurrección.
Second is that he never seals his powers because he owns Vanaheims only pizzeria and uses his twelve armed cephalopod form to handle each and every part of the pizza making process at once with only relying on his two waitresses to take the customers orders.
And lastly is that Pesci hates his guts.

Both in life and in death he had a knack for the culinary arts but his specialty was always pizza making.
So he decided to open up shop in Vanaheim and now supplies the entire city with relatively fast home made pizza, much to Pescis displeasure as he now has a rival to deal with.

It was this place that Aaroniero chose for his upcoming date with Menoly.
Too bad he's late.

As Menoly sits at her table she sighs as she eats another bread stick.
''I... guess he won't show up...''

Hearing this one of the waitresses who was kind enough to wait for her up until now walks up to Menoly.
''Awww. I'm terribly sorry Miss.
Perhaps... would you like some pizza?
They say that good food can make all your worries go away.''

*sigh*
''Yeah sure.
It'd be rude of me to just walk out now after waiting for so long...''

But just as she said that Aaroniero comes bursting through the door and panting heavily, wetter than a golden shower fan under the urinals and clenching a bouquet of yellow flowers that appear to have been chewed, barfed up and chewed again.
He looks around nervously and as he spots Menoly he walks up to her to which the lady reacts by shouting.

''OH?! Now you show up?''

But before she could go on any longer she sees something rather unexpected as Aaroniero literally throws himself before her, gets on his knees and slams his head on the floor before Menoly.
''PLEASE! I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU ARE MAD BUT PLEASE!
LET ME EXPLAIN MYSELF!''

He slowly stands up and hands Menoly his little collection of flowers that she managed to overlook up until now as she was too busy being mad at Aaroniero for seemingly ditching her.
''I... picked you some flowers in the morning...
But as I was coming here a tiny dog jumped me, stole and ran off with them.
I spent the next half hour chasing it around but by the time I caught it they were ruined...
And I also fell in the river while doing it...''
He lets out a sigh after trying to recount what happened to him.
''My timing is inexcusable and you have every right to be mad but I just had to tell what happened!''

Menoly just stares at him in disbelief.
''And you expect me to believe that?''

In that moment as if just waiting to hear that a bunch of kids barge in and raise up a tiny dog with a hollow mask.
''It's twoo...
Sowwy lady that Kukkapūro ate your fwowers.''
The little with the one missing tooth spoke.

Menoly just looks at that and ruffles the little kids hair.
''Oh.. don't worry sweetie!
I'm not mad just... a bit tense.
Now go on! I'm sure you have more important things to do than listening to us silly adults.''

''Thanks lady!''
She turns to Aaroniero and signals him to lean in closer.
''And sowwy for you too Mister.''

''Don't be little one, you did nothing wrong.''
And unbeknownst to Menoly Aaroniero slipped a candy bar into the girls hand as they agreed.
The truth was that it wasn't the dogs fault at all, he just managed to trip and fall into the river by himself then he lost the flowers to the wind .And Menoly must never know.
''Thanks!''
He whispered to her.

Then Aaroniero straightened his back, threw out his mangled flowers and looked at Menoly.
''So... if you don't want to do this anymore I can understand...''

''No!
Erm... I mean.
Let's just eat, shall we?''
She tries to sit back down but Aaroniero interrupts her.

''Allow me!''
He rushes in to pull the chair out for her but as he does so he accidentally bumps into one of the waitresses and gets an entire pizza smeared across his chest.

The entire place goes silent as they stare at this catastrophe.
The waitress begins to apologize profusely.
''My deepest apologies Sir! I wasn't looking!
Please don't be mad!''

''I-it's n-nothing...''
Aaroniero speaks quietly and on the verge of breaking out in tears.
Everything that could have gone wrong today, did.

But all is not lost as Menoly actually lets out a snicker and then a full blown laughter.
''S-sorry! I just haven't-
Oh god...''
She finally manages to calm herself down.
''So sorry Aaronier! But that genuinely cracked me up.''
Then she stands up and grabs him by the arm.
''Come, I'll help you with this!''
She begins leading him to the bathroom.

As they enter she takes out a napkin and puts it under the skin.
She then proceeds to help Aaroniero get rid of at least the majority of cheese and tomato sauce out of his clothes.

>>1241152
>Try to go on date
>Trip and fall into river
>Bribe kids
>Try to act a gentleman but fumble
>Pizza falls out of hollow hole.

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Once they were done and Aaroniero looked only mostly like a piece of modern art they went back to their table and found two entire pizzas just sitting there.
Apparently the owner felt deeply ashamed by the display and gave them as a form of apology.
After finally getting around to finishing their dinner they are left just sitting there, sipping wine and trying to get to know each other.

''So...
How did you get wound up in all this Menoly?
How did Aizen get You?''

She puts down her glass and lets out a weary sigh.
''It's... not worth discussing.''

''Well... that pretty much goes for all of us.
But I'd still love to know.''

''I suppose it's only fair...
You see, I had this... ''partner''. And I use the very loosely here.
She was recruited by Aizen and... well she roped me into this.''

''But... if you didn't want to do it then why follow her at all?''

*sigh*
''It's... complicated.''

''I have time.
And if anything, I'm at least a good listener.''

''I...
I used to be alone, hunting whatever small prey I could find.
Then one day... Loly came into the picture.
She was everything I wasn't. Head strong, confident and basically the same as me but more powerful.
I admired her strength and so I followed her.
At first it wasn't all bad but I discovered quickly that she's a manipulative, power hungry, psycho bitch but by that time it was too late to get out.
Even if I tried to run she'd have probably killed me...''

''The same as you?
In what way?''

''Oh? You don't know about my Resurrección?
It's poison based, since I'm a scorpion.
But Loly? She was a centipede, poison based like me.
However where I could only kill small things and maybe incapacitate big ones she could pretty much kill anything she touched.
And her poison was acidic to boot. You see? Me but better.''

Aaroniero shakes his head.
''I wouldn't say that.
Something that dangerous is very apparent even at first glance.
Whereas something that subtle has much more utility.
What poison do you have?''

Menoly blinks a few times at that.
''Erm...
It's a mixture of neurotoxins.
Why?''

''Well, then there is no question about it.
At first it might not be lethal but that could cause the enemy to under estimate its lethality, allowing you to strike more critical areas where the toxin can do the most damage.
Yours might lack the potency hers did but I think that only makes it that much more dangerous.''

''Heh.
Is ''You're a pretty good killer'' your way of complimenting someone Aaroniero?
If so, that's messed up.
But I'm surprised you are so knowledgeable in the realm of poisons.
What's your power? Don't tell me it's poison!''

''It's... not.
But I had poison. Several in fact.
I can steal the powers of others.''

Menoly almost drops her glass after hearing that.
''T-that's incredible-''

''No!
It isn't. It drove me insane.
If it wasn't reversed I'm sure it'd have gotten me killed.
Don't envy the power of others Menoly. Yours is wonderful as is...''

File: 1488661068505.jpg (13 KB, 208x300)

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After finishing up at the restaurant they decided to go on a bit of an evening stroll, much to the amusement of everyone that looked even vaguely at Aaronieros jacket.
According to Menoly the moonlit streets never seemed so romantic before.
When they reached one of the pillars on the corner of the city Aaroniero bribed the guards so they'd let them go up.
Once there Menoly looked at the moon in awe and reached out as if she could grab hold of it.

''It's so beautiful.
Don't you think?''

''It is.
But it pales in comparison to what I'm looking at.''

''Heh. Stop it!''
*Achoo!*

Noticing this Aaroniero took off his jacket and offered it to her.

''Here. Take it.
It'd be a shame if you got a cold because of me.''

Hesitant at first because of the tomato stains on the clothing but eventually she accepted it as the cold wind started blowing again.
She looked at Aaroniero with a questioning look on her face.
''It's pretty cold tonight.
Are you sure this is okay for you?''

Aaroniero who has a particularly low tolerance for cold shivers like a dried autumn leaf in the wind.
''Y-y-y-yeah!
D-d-d-don't w-w-w-worry about it!''

Menoly smiled at that and took off the borrowed coat and handed it back to him.
''Thanks Aaroniero.''

''Huh?
Oh, for the jacket? No, keep it!''

''No. Not that.
For tonight. I can't remember when was the last time I laughed so much.
And for that I'm grateful.
But next time, try not being late. Okay?''

Aaroniero pauses for a second.
''D-did you just say... next time?''

''Huh.
I guess I did.''
She then walked up to her date and stole a kiss from him.
''See you later Aaroniero!''
She waved to him as she descended the stairs.

And Aaroniero just stood there, blushing like a schoolyard kid who was teased because he liked a girl.
After about a solid ten minutes, the time which he needed to process this, he jumped high into the air his fist raised towards the moon and screaming at the top of his lung.

''FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUCK YEEEEEAAAAAH!''

Omake: - THE END -

>>1241283
Cheesy (literally) and light-hearted, I like it, it was adorable.