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File: helms_deep.png (123 KB, 854x847)
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You're an apprentice wizard. You seek to explore (and loot) the magical ruins of dead civilisations. Such ruins can be found all over the world and they're typically filled with treasure, magical stuff and blood-thirsty monsters.

You are on your way to the ruins of an old fortress. On your way you've stopped at a village besieged by illegal immigrants (hostile undead.) After using your American Meme magic to protect a flank with a wall and arm one of the guards with a Smith and Wesson you prepare to repel to risen dead.
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You're this guy. You use American Trump Meme Magic and Storm Magic. You are bad at enchantment. Write-ins only. Just post what you want the main character to do/say at any time.)
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Previous Episode
http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive/1226619/
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>>1252072
New user here, haven't read the previous episode yet.

That being said, try democracy. Whether it works or not, use storm magic on as many of them as possible.
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Basically, my dude, since the undead are coming, get some priests to mass-bless a shitload of water. Get all of the knights to drink the water, then piss on the skeletons with your holy piss to destroy them. It's bretty gud idea, I tink.
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You hear the rumbling of dozens of skeletal feet, the Undead are fast approaching from the forest. They will be upon you in seconds!
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>>1252195
Offer them jobs if they become legal citizens.
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You cast Democracy calling a vote for the skeletons to cease their murderous rampage and join the work force as legal citizens but you're outvoted by the skeletons.
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Offer them guns if they become citizens.

Worked for the Swiss, right?
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Find the biggest, baddest skeleton you can manage.
And fucking drop a wall on him. Not behind him, or in front of him. ON him. Make an example out of that bony fuck. It'll let the other skeletons know what's up.
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>>1252289
Walls cannot be created mid-air or in space that isn't empty. Although you can make walls fall over to crush things.
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>>1252256
You cast Democracy again this time offering them free guns in exchange for their votes. The skeletons offer the following terms/demands: Extermination of all vertebrates in the area; tax exemption status for all skeleton citizens; Obamacare; all flags must be replaced by the Jolly Roger.
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>>1252375
They get guns, and a 25% discount on Jolly Roger flags.
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>>1252389
Although some skeletons are tempted by your promises of guns and jolly roger discounts they seem mostly concerned with killing everyone and once again your vote fails.
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>>1252408
Tell them stories of how well off people are as citizens.
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You continue trying to convince the Skeletons to vote for you with little success. Now they're dangerously close.
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>>1252736
>summon ak and deport with extreme prejudice.
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You don't have enough mana to cast Summon American Steel at all. It's quite expensive.
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>>1252834
>break his arm bones with summon wall and take swords and beat the shit out of him with his own sword.
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>>1252834
> if we haven't already dispel all of those towers and walls we made in the forest then put as many skeletons as possible on top of towers
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You summon a wall between yourself and he skeleton. The rising wall strikes the Skeleton in the elbow and the severed part sails off in an arc!
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>>1253189
Tip it over and crush him.
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>>1253212
seconded but remember to dispel later gta conserve mana
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>>1253257
how many more skeletons left
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>>1253257
Loot and repeat for all the skeletons who voted against.
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You dispel the wall.
You cast Tower
(All unnecessary creations have already been dispelled)
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>>1253299
>dispel towers for fall damage and repeat until victory
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>>1253315
heck op just released its midnight here so i gotta split
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>>1253315
>>1253322
The Towers Recede into the ground rather than spontaneously disappearing.

Yeah, I'll finish up now and continue same time tomorrow.
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(Sorry I resumed late)

You dispel the towers (refunding some of your mana) and the skeletons climb back down and charge. Two of the Skeletons accidentally fell off and were destroyed by the fall.
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>>1256831
Remake the towers, only this time, bring them down one by one. If they voted against you. Kill them.
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You start using the Towers to isolate Skeletons from the battle.

Looks like there are about 20-30 Skeletons left. You can't tell which ones voted for you last time.
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>>1256997
Tell the skeletons that if they want amnesty, to strike down the dissenters.
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>>1257006
The Skeletons are mindless and incable of reasoning. You're not entirely sure how the Democracy Spell works, but you assume it gives its non-thinking targets powers of reasoning based on the intentions of their creators. You can't haggle with them unless the spell is being cast.
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>>1257092
In that case, tip the towers over and get as many as you can.
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You tip the towers over. Crushing several skeletons they land on (It's also much more harmful to the skeletons that were on top of the towers than simply dispelling them)
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>>1257294
Loot the bones and everything they owned after offing off every single skeleton.
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You systematically destroy the skeletons by spamming Tower and having it fall on them. There are 5 skeletons remaning, although the Guards can probably handle that easily.
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You pick up various junk left behind by the slain skeletons.
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>>1257477
Take inventory.
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File: shower_head_phone.png (244 KB, 490x518)
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Bag of Holding (which I keep forgetting to draw) Contents:

wooden wand carved into the shape of a star
weathered old scroll containing the spell Light
kitchen knife
rope (5 bleks long)
second hand spell book
Food/Water
Thick Blanket
minotaur's horn
red fish
Spear
Mace
Dagger
Short sword
Femur
Skull
Hammer (1h)
Dirk
Spatula
Round Shield
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>>1257540
Talk to the guards.
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"Thank you for your assistance wizard. Your weapon of freedom shooting was indeed a mighty asset! My name is Rubran, I am captain of the guard in Bromwich."

"How come you guys and your skeletons were fighting here instead of at the bridge?"

"My shoulder hurts"
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>>1257672
Enter the city now.
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>>1257672
Dispell the gun after you leave, and go for a high five with them.
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Without a word you dispel the gun and give Rubran a high-five and enter the town.
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>>1257935
Do to the tavern to get wasted with the boys
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>>1257935
Go to the library and look at maps of ancient ruins and shit.
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You enter Bromwich. You don't see any library in this area but it seems reasonable there should be at least one in a town this size somewhere maybe if you're lucky one with magical texts. You see an Inn, some sort of general store and one of those churches the Paladins build everywhere. A path leads deeper into town. You're contemplating whether to go to the Inn for a cold one or keep searching for a library.
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>>1258031
Booze comes first. You can do book stuff when you're sober.
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>>1258031
First go sell your stuff to a merchant
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File: pokemart.png (78 KB, 974x861)
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Since you don't have any money you decide Shop, then booze, then books.

You proceed into the general store. On display there's a lost civilisation spell book available for a hefty price.

You offer to sell the merchant the loot you got from the skeletons.

"Mmm? Didn't the daily skeleton invasion drop these? Sorry man but those skeletons and all of their stuff disappear at around sunset. Then the next day an identical wave of skeletons attacks with the same equipment. I can't buy this stuff from you because it's about to vanish. But perhaps you would like to buy or sell something else? I have lots of fine products in the high and the low price range!"
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>>1258191
Trump magic, the art of the deal. Make a trade deal to take those pathetic spoils
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Alright I think I'm done for today, I'll finish this episode tomorrow.
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>>1258191
"If it's a daily attack, why haven't you guys built a WALL yet?"
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"If it's a daily attack, why haven't you guys built a WALL yet? Art of the Deal"

"For your information we started building walls after we realised it wasn't going to stop, there are only three entrances to the village that don't have walls and gates now. We're 100% sure they're coming from the fortress ruins and... HEY! Did you just cast a spell that buffs your bartering skill?!"
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>>1261250
"Well, have you sold me anything? So clearly not."
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"Do you actually have any money? Also is that wand for sale?"
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>>1261334
No, but how about this Red Herring?
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"No, but how about this Red Herring?"

"Wow... it's... so... distracting... I'll give you 5 copper for it"
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>>1261446
>Art of the deal, but quietly.

"Let's not forget to mention that it's a fresh local grown herring too. It's also wild caught. 15 Copper would do it."
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(you're already being affected by Art of the Deal)

"Let's not forget to mention that it's a fresh local grown herring too. It's also wild caught. 15 Copper would do it."

"10 copper. This fish hasn't even been cleaned!"
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>>1261921
"How about 12 copper, you know some places consider fish organs a delicacy."
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"How about 12 copper, you know some places consider fish organs a delicacy."

"Fine, 12 copper for the mysteriously colourful herring. Here you go"

You leave the store with 12 copper in hand. Should be enough to buy some cheap-ass booze. What now?
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>>1262475
Well, we're shorter than we thought on booze, so perhaps forego the booze and look for the library.
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You explore the town a little while until you find a library. It's a pretty decent size.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KHecCiA4uQ8
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Thanks for your participation. I'll continue Wizard Explorer next week.
This is my 2nd quest. Check out my first (Yugioh quest) at suptg. http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/qstarchive.html?searchall=yugioh+quest

Feedback on my quests are always appreciated.
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File: Spoiler Image (42 KB, 629x572)
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This episode's Rule 34

Be warned: The art quality is the same as the rest of the pictures in the thread.
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>>1262923




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